#2276 - Felipe Esparza

Felipe Esparza is a standup comic, actor, and host of the podcast "What's Up Fool?" Watch his new special "Raging Fool" only on Netflix. www.felipesworld.com Save $20 on your first subscription of AG1 at drinkag1.com/joerogan This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Get working on a better you with therapy. Visit BetterHelp.com/JRE today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:12Joe Rogan?

  Good to see you, my friend. It's been too long.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  What's up, fool? Good to see you too.

• 0:16Joe Rogan?

  When was the last time I saw you, brother? It was like, five years ago or something.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Five years ago? And I did the show here, when you were in LA?

• 0:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  At the warehouse?

• 0:25Joe Rogan?

  Damn, that's what I miss most about the store. Is, uh, you know... Traveling dudes. We'd meet up. We'd meet up at the home base.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Yes. And when I was a young comic, I would see like, older comics, like, that I would see on television. They would just come hang out at that bar or the patio.

• 0:45Joe Rogan?

  Just get a refresh.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you pass by and you say, "Oh, that's, um, man."

• 0:49Joe Rogan?

  Arsenio Hall, holy shit.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  That's Elaine Boosler!

• 0:52Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  OG right there!

• 0:53Joe Rogan?

  Right, right, right.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  You know, you're like, "What?"

• 0:56Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  I used to see her at Dodger Stadium, when I was working at Dodger Stadium. And I would ask her for advice. And she was just, you know, like, every comic back then, "Just keep writing."

• 1:06Joe Rogan?

  She was a funny comic, man. She was a funny comic. Who's that lady that was on, um, Curb Your Enthusiasm? She's very funny, too. Old-school comic. Goddamn it. I'm very embarrassed that I forgot her name. She hasn't done comedy in a long time. Look that up. Yes, Suzy Essman.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Oh, Suzy Essman, there's stand-up?

• 1:25Joe Rogan?

  Yes. Oh, she was great.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:27Joe Rogan?

  She was really funny. I middled for her once. In like, fucking 1989 or some shit.

• 1:35Joe Rogan?

  Way back in the day, my friend.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Who you middled for? That lady?

• 1:38Joe Rogan?

  Wow. Yeah, yeah. Someplace on Long Island. I can't, might have been like, governors or something like that. I don't, I do not remember, but I remember she was very nice. She was very funny, very nice, very encouraging. Which is the best, man, when you get to work with someone that you see on television and you're just like, starting out, and they're nice to you. That's so valuable.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I can't believe it, like, when I, when I...

• 1:59Joe Rogan?

  There she is, Suzy Essman.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  There she is. Whoa! She looks like Elaine from Seinfeld.

• 2:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, similar.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  But that's the haircut back then, huh?

• 2:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, they all had crazy hair. Everybody lost their mind in the 80s.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Ali Lieberman?

• 2:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they all, they all lost their mind, back then. Cause like, from the 70s to the 80s, nobody knew how to dress. They did crazy shit with their hair.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  She's going over her head.

• 2:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they would all tease their hair up. It was crazy. There was like a big hair thing. I think it was when people started doing cocaine. That's what I think. I think is the eighties was Miami Vice and cocaine. Everybody lost their mind. They lost their fashion sense. People started wearing wacky clothes. Cars started looking like shit.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, the Saab. Pinto.

• 2:48Joe Rogan?

  Bro, cars just started looking like shit. I mean, if you wanted an objective analysis of what happens to a society, when they remove marijuana and mushrooms and then they bring in cocaine.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, hey, you know what? It's gonna call Ford Fiesta.

• 3:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  Cause we were Fiesta yesterday.

• 3:07Joe Rogan?

  But cocaine brought us Sam Kinison too, though. You have to real, cocaine's done some good.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  You think it did a lot, a lot, a lot?

• 3:14Joe Rogan?

  No, no, it's like it's terrible for everybody who does it. But, but I do think that there's moments of inspired creativity from all kinds of substances. Especially that rock and roll cocaine that they used to get, where it was like just real pure cocaine. It wasn't stepped on. Did have amphetamines and fentanyl in it, all kinds of other shit.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Good shit. Not the stuff you buy like in Grand Rapids, Iowa.

• 3:38Joe Rogan?

  And I should say this as a person who's never tried cocaine.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Never?

• 3:40Joe Rogan?

  Never, never tried cocaine. No, I would not lie.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  Never?

• 3:44Joe Rogan?

  No, never. No, I got real lucky. When I was in high school, I had a buddy of mine and his cousin started selling it. And he was a great guy. And I watched this dude kind of like shrink into himself and lost a ton of weight and him and his girlfriend just, they had this attic apartment. And they would just hang out and do coke and sell coke. And they would just like watch TV and do coke. And it was,

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 4:05Joe Rogan?

  It was like they got bit by a vampire, man. It scared the shit out of me.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  I was afraid of cocaine, man. Cause when I started stand up, like I started stand up like in ninety-four, ninety-three at an open mic. And I was clean, I was sober. I was a year, I was in rehab. And I wanted to be a comedian. So I went to the library to learn about writing, Jean Perret. Comedy writing, step by step. Another book called, um, How to Write Funny, Be Funny and.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Make money being funny. And that was a real great book, bro. I mean, it had um comedy clubs. Um, locations in the back.

• 4:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Booker numbers like to submit your comedy.

• 4:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, remember the Comedy USA Industry Guide?

• 4:50Speaker 01

  A hundred dollars.

• 4:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Can you believe that shit?

• 4:54Joe Rogan?

  Bro, I remember dudes used to take out full page ads. That's how you knew they were killing it. When a dude would take out a full page ad in the Comedy USA Industry Guide, I'm like, wow, he's got a full page ad.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  I remember, bro, um, when um, where I was looking for gigs in like in two thousand, right? And I remember this comedian named Shang and Dante, comedian Dante.

• 5:18Joe Rogan?

  Those guys.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Those guys um had a list of a list of a five page list of comedy bookers names, NAC number to call. And the back of the page was shitty bookers to avoid. And they had to sign it to the comic for like seventy five bucks.

• 5:36Joe Rogan?

  Wow. I got lucky that I was in Boston. And Boston had, there was, that was like the boom happened in Boston when like Steven Wright got on Tonight Show. Everybody found out about Boston, but it was already this like crazy. There's a great documentary called When Stand Up Stood Out.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  You had that guy on the show here.

• 5:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I've had a few of those guys on the show.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  It was like a Chinese restaurant.

• 6:01Joe Rogan?

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don Gavin, who's one of those guys, Steve Sweeney, legends. I still say to this day, they're some of the best comics I have ever seen in my, I've seen them murder harder than anybody I've ever seen in my life. But it was just very regional, very local. And um, a lot of it didn't translate nationally for some reason, like Steve Sweeney in Boston, in front of a Boston audience. Is the funniest guy that's ever lived and I'm not kidding. I'm not exaggerating. He would get like Boston accents and Boston attitudes. It would be all a big part of his act. And dude, it was murderous. If you had to follow that, you were fucked. You were fucked, man. And they would do that to dudes from out of town.

• 6:43Joe Rogan?

  It was the most ruthless cruel shit they would do at Nick's Comedy Stop. They would take these assassins, these local assassins and stack them one after the other. It would be Kenny Rogerson, Don Gavin, Steve Sweeney, and then they throw up some headliner. And this poor headliner is used to soft acts on the road. He's used to being known for the guy who was on television. Hey folks, so I'm Mike, you know, the sitcom. And they tried to do stand up and just they were getting eaten alive.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  He's talking about nuggets. The guys were up there all coked out.

• 7:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Working the crowd.

• 7:21Joe Rogan?

  They were wild boys too. They were big like football player sized, wild, crazy drinkers and partiers. And they were funny, man. And so because there was this like love of comedy in Boston. They had all these comedy nights all over the place where you could make a living. So you could be like a half ass comedian like I was and you know, you can make five hundred bucks a week. Just hustling, just moving around. That's what we all did. So there were so many places that you could work and so many like little booking agents and like, like western Massachusetts. You have to go out there like, you know, like there's these weird towns that are like liberal hideouts.

• 8:02Joe Rogan?

  You know what I mean? Like university, like Amherst, you'd get like Amherst gigs. It was weird, like Amherst, Massachusetts.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  The other place that you gotta be from there to pronounce it right.

• 8:11Joe Rogan?

  Which one is that?

• 8:12Speaker 01

  The one is that you did for a steak sauce.

• 8:15Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Worcester.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Worcester.

• 8:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yeah, it looks weird.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  I was in two thousand and ten, I was doing last cover standing there and I got there early. And I hung out with a Boston comic. I think his uncle is that cop, the guy that caught that was missing in action. Um, the Irish gangster.

• 8:35Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Comedian. Yeah, and he, and he was, I said, yeah, man, we're performing Worcester, sir.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  And then he took the joint, he goes, "No, bro, Worcester. Okay. Thank you for telling me, bro."

• 8:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you don't want to say, "Hey, Worcester, shut up. Nice to be here." They would fucking kill you. They're like, that's where the great Doug Stanhope is from.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, Worcester.

• 8:59Joe Rogan?

  Doug Stanhope started in Worcester.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  I love him.

• 9:02Joe Rogan?

  He's the best. All right, it's February, and by now, 80% of people have probably abandoned their New Year's resolutions. And it makes sense. Life can get crazy, and all of a sudden, you don't have the time. But one easy habit to stick with is AG1. It's an easy, realistic habit that you can make to benefit your whole body health. AG1 makes hard-to-get micronutrients easy to get and replaces multiple vitamins and supplements with just one scoop. You just mix it in some cold water, take a nice moment in the morning to do your body right. And honestly, it tastes pretty good. It's not easy to pack this many high-quality ingredients with this much nutrient density, but AG1 makes it happen without added sugars or artificial sweeteners ever.

• 9:45Joe Rogan?

  AG1 is a great way to invest in your health now and in the long run, which is why I've partnered with them for so long. Try AG1 and get a free bottle of vitamin D3, K2, and five free AG1 travel packs with your first subscription at drinkag1.com/joeroogan. That's a $76 value gift for free when you go to drinkag1.com/joeroogan. Check it out.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  I had his first comedy album, the one he did with Rorering or something.

• 10:15Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm, the one where he did with music in the background?

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:17Joe Rogan?

  That was great. That's a great album.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  There was a place like that, a Boston place, but not in a documentary, but Will Durst, he's a San Francisco comedian.

• 10:27Joe Rogan?

  Sure.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  He had a room like that called the Comedy Zoo or the Zoo.

• 10:31Joe Rogan?

  Holy City Zoo, right?

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Holy City Zoo.

• 10:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  And there's a comedian that came out of there that's a killer comic, and he's still alive, and he opened for me. And he opened for Rob Schneider and Papa, and he opened for a lot of people. Larry Bubbles Brown.

• 10:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, cool.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  And he's an old-school guy. After every joke, he goes, "Mrrr." Mer, but he did the, he did Letterman in nineteen ninety-two and then um he did it again in two thousand and six. So he has a record for doing Letterman between thirty years.

• 11:02Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  But he one of those comics that like never left San Francisco.

• 11:07Joe Rogan?

  There's a few of those guys that got trapped like that.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that were like really good guys. Remember that one guy in Chicago? Fuck, what was his Larry? Larry Reeve?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Larry Reeve.

• 11:20Joe Rogan?

  Remember Larry Reeve? He was a guy like that, like a really solid national act, but it was so Chicago, he kinda stayed around there mostly. But it was like every now, you'd find towns like that, you had like one murderer that lived in the town.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Bob Marley in New England.

• 11:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so Maine, Bob Marley is the murderer of Maine. And Robert Schimmel was Arizona.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  I love Robert Schimmel, man.

• 11:43Joe Rogan?

  He was the best, he was the best, he was such a good guy. But he was uh, he lived in Phoenix and it was somewhere in that area, I think it was Phoenix. But for him, it was like, it was easier to get around the country that way and he didn't wanna be a part of it. He was like one of the first guys that I was like, oh, you could like be a big time comic and not have to leave your state. Like you get to a point where you can live in Oklahoma like Larry the Cable Guy does, probably. Where does he live? He lives in like, somewhere like Georgia or something like that?

• 12:11Speaker 01

  I don't know, in the country.

• 12:12Joe Rogan?

  Where's he live? Is that where he lives though? I don't wanna give up, I'm not trying to dox him.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  He was from, he was like on the radio there.

• 12:18Joe Rogan?

  But I think, yeah, he's definitely from there. I just don't know if he lives there, probably shouldn't say where he lives. But that dude is uh, he could be anywhere. It doesn't matter, like you could, you could just go anywhere.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  I used to see his face when I go to El Paso Comic Strip and all the dudes you're talking about, they were all there.

• 12:37Joe Rogan?

  Dude, I remember Josh Wolfe showed me a picture that he took when he was on stage and they were doing, it was like sixty thousand people. So Larry the Cable Guy was doing like sixty thousand people and Josh Wolfe's like got his camera and he's like moving around the stage like, that is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen. That crowd is so insane, that's how big that guy got.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Thousand people, man.

• 13:00Joe Rogan?

  And he was another dude that got hated on for no reason, other than his success. It was like, for some reason, everybody couldn't believe that you could say offensive things as a joke in a character, all of a sudden. And it had, so coincidentally, happened at the same time as him getting super huge. It's like, you guys are just fucking haters.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  That's crazy how when they, they start hating the, the character, but not the person.

• 13:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's the dice thing.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, right? Just like the guy with that, they used to have that puppet in New York.

• 13:35Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Otto and George.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, Greg Giorllo, when I opened for him back in the day, um, back in Addison Improv, he told me that, um, he would say the nastiest shit, that puppet. And this lady threw, threw shit at the puppet, but not at Otto.

• 13:52Joe Rogan?

  Bro, we were talking about it Tuesday night in the green room. We were talking about how that puppet was kinda possessed. And I'm not even bullshitting, you know, Otto was out there. Otto was out there. I mean, he was out there. Everybody, I mean, that dude partied. He went hard. And he was a genius comedian. But he would get rides to gigs and say, pull over, I gotta check on George. And he would, in the fucking side of the highway, he would pull over, pop the trunk, and check on the dummy.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Wow, his buddy.

• 14:28Joe Rogan?

  Weird, man.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Weird, man.

• 14:30Joe Rogan?

  Weird.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  Whoa, there he is.

• 14:31Joe Rogan?

  Bro, someone stabbed that dummy once. At Dangerfields. Some Puerto Rican guy, who said, the dummy was saying Puerto Rican jokes to this guy. And the guy fucking stabbed the dummy. Stabbed the dummy.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Was it a knife or a sharp bed spring?

• 14:45Joe Rogan?

  A fucking knife.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Or a sharp bed spring, bro.

• 14:49Joe Rogan?

  Something, anything. Whatever you got that you polished down to a point.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  You ever watched, uh, The Fabulous Mrs. Maisel?

• 14:55Joe Rogan?

  What's that?

• 14:55Speaker 01

  The Fabulous Mrs. Maisel is about a female comic growing up in the 50s on Amazon.

• 15:00Joe Rogan?

  No. Oh, Fabulous Mrs. Maisel.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Mrs. Maisel. Oh, she's Mrs. Alright.

• 15:06Joe Rogan?

  I thought you were saying something in Spanish. That's hilarious.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  You ever seen Mousi Marcio?

• 15:13Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious. I literally thought you were talking about a completely different show.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Do you remember the ventriloquist that did like a one minute set on her show?

• 15:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, so like ventriloquist, now it's like...

• 15:26Joe Rogan?

  It's one of those things like with Carrot Top. He's like so successful with props that no one does props anymore. But when we first started out, everybody did props. There was like ten guys on a lineup of twenty guys that have props they bring with them on stage. Cause sometimes it was really funny.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  Rusty Dooley.

• 15:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Rusty Dooley was great at it. But it's like, he owned that for whatever reason. Cause Carrot Top got so big using props, he's the only guy that still does it, that he kinda owns that. And then with Jeff Dunham, he got so big at being a ventriloquist, like, there's no ventriloquist anymore. Like when we were kids, there was always comedy ventriloquist. There was like Willie Tyler and Lester, remember? It was like, it was a fun thing. You could get the dummy to say fucked up shit. And then you go, I can't believe you could say that in front of these nice people. And then George would be like, fuck these people. He would tell everybody suck his cock. It was like, it was crazy.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  What's another one? Woody, Woody in the hood?

• 16:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, with Otto and George, it was a little different, man. Cause I think George, I think Otto believed that George was alive. I think Otto believed there was something about George that was different than him. Like, he was not Otto and George. He was just Otto. And George only existed when George was there. And it seemed like there was something going on with that. And it might be because he fucking fried his brain to the point where he was connecting with, you know, all kinds of energy that wasn't even there. You know, he might have been out, he was out there, he was out there. But the combination.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  I wonder if they smoked crack together?

• 17:06Joe Rogan?

  If one of them smoked crack together, yeah, he probably made George smoke it. Yeah. There's famous Otto crack stories. I mean, that guy was gone, but he was also brilliant. Really funny, man. Fucking funny. And we, in a comic's comic, like, we would all sit in the back of the room to watch when he was on stage. But so there's a lot of those guys. That are like real genius, but they're real eccentric. And for whatever reason, the general public doesn't find out about them. There's not like a good vehicle, at least back then there wasn't, for them to get out to the general public. Like today, I would say an example of that is like Brian Holtzman.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:44Joe Rogan?

  Right? Like Brian Holtzman, we've known forever. He's always been a guy we all watched. He was always the guy that at the end of the night, especially if something fucked up happened, like there was a plane crash, or like someone got eaten by a lion.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  You mentioned a plane crash, cuz I was there when they did that joke. I was in the back of the comedy store, he said, um, American Airlines is high arena.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  And then, um, he said, um, and I can't remember who's, I remember who survived that airline. And he said, um, fuck that. Everybody says, how come they don't build a plane out of the black box? Or simulate to the back box? Simulate to a fucking baby. Baby survived. Give me a hold of that baby bitch.

• 18:31Joe Rogan?

  A baby survived?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, baby survived an airline at the flight one time, and he said,

• 18:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  I wanna hold that baby. I wanna hold somebody's baby in an airplane. Just in case it goes down. Cuz if a baby survived, I'm gonna survive.

• 18:44Joe Rogan?

  You have to see him say it. I don't think we're doing it justice.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  I'm fucking it all up.

• 18:48Joe Rogan?

  My favorite one was when Susan Smith got arrested for drowning her kids. He goes, I heard those were bad kids. I heard they sat that close to the TV. They didn't put away their blocks. Those kids will not be missed. The, the fun thing about Brian is if you know him, like in real life, he's like the sweetest guy on earth. He's such a sweetheart of a guy, like super friendly to everybody, loves everybody. Like he doesn't even have an enemy. Like Brian Holtzman has no enemies. He's always sweet and friendly. And then he gets on stage and it's like he becomes like his version of George.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. I, I hung out with, um, Brian Holtzman. I hung out with Brian Holtzman and his mom in San Antonio, Texas.

• 19:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Cause we were doing the Latino Laugh Festival.

• 19:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  And he was the only non Latino on the show, him and Darren Carter. And, uh, bro, there was all Latinos, bro. Everybody was getting shit. Johnny Sanchez pronounced his name like an American and somebody yelled out, "It's Sanchez, fucker."

• 19:49Joe Rogan?

  How did they say it?

• 19:50Speaker 01

  I don't know. He said, "My name is Johnny Sanchez." And then somebody said, "No, it's Sanchez with five A's, Sanchez."

• 19:57Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  So he got heckled. So, um...

• 20:00Joe Rogan?

  He got heckled for saying it. This episode is presented by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. Shortly before Chile's 1973 coup, two CIA agents, played by John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, find their mission on Easter Island spiraling into a web of conspiracies, unexpected alliances, and chaos. Wild Horse 9, only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Scams have gotten smarter because criminals use AI to flood you with fake texts, emails, and phone calls that are designed to be more convincing than ever. One wrong click could put your personal information and your identity at risk. So protect yourself with LifeLock.

• 20:45Joe Rogan?

  LifeLock helps detect and alert you to threats. And if your identity is stolen, LifeLock will step in to fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Dedicated, US-based, identity restoration specialists will work with you until your identity is restored, backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million in coverage for eligible losses and expenses. Visit lifelock.com and save up to 30% your first year with the promo code JRE. That's promo code JRE. Or go to lifelock.com/jre for 30% off. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Hook up a better speaker to your TV

• 21:29Joe Rogan?

  and your home theater experience is immediately 10 times better. Or add a little extra treat to your dog's food. They get so... So happy at dinnertime. Sometimes it's worth it to go that extra step to find people who will do that for your business. Check out ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipRecruiter has what you need to find great candidates fast. Like powerful matching technology to help sort through thousands of resumes. And a feature that puts people who are the most interested and most qualified first. Try ZipRecruiter and meet great candidates who'll go the extra step for your job.

• 22:12Joe Rogan?

  Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. That's ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipRecruiter, meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Is name in a non-Mexican way?

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Yes, and then Brian Holzman goes up there.

• 22:34Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it's rough out in those streets.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  And Brian Holzman was up there, he said, um, he goes, this is not a comedy show, close all the doors. I was, I goes, border patrol is gonna come in here and take everybody.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Bro, but this is after, this is after, um, we were doing this taping, a taping. Mencia shows up, does a guest spot on our taping and goes long, you know, really long. You know, like Jeff Valdez looking around. So then, um, that's when Barry Holston goes up and murders it. He goes, man, I gotta figure out how to, how to, this immigration problem, man. We got a bunch of U-Haul trucks, U-Haul trucks. We go around to every Home Depot, we ask these people, yeah, we're hiring, bro, there's lots of jobs. Muchos trabajos, come on, get in the trucks. We fucking take these trucks, we drop them off in Tijuana, Mexico.

• 23:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He would, you have to see him say it.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  He starts screaming and shit.

• 23:36Joe Rogan?

  But it's also like he's playing this bizarre psychotic character that only comes out when he's on stage. He's the most different when he's on stage.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  And he had his job too, when he had a job at Alix.

• 23:48Joe Rogan?

  He always had a job, that was the problem. That was the problem. He never hit, he never hit the road. He stuck around the store, cause he like, I was saying, there's not like a path for those guys. Like, nobody wanted Brian Holzman to open for them. That's too weird.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  His butt.

• 24:03Joe Rogan?

  He belonged at the store and now he's found a crowd at the mothership.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:08Joe Rogan?

  His shows at the mothership, they're all sold out. Like, he's hilarious. People come to see him. And he didn't have a path before. It was like, there was like, you know, he's too weird to put on a television show. It's like, it's like, you gotta, you really wanna be in the room. That's what it is.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:24Joe Rogan?

  This, like, if anybody is way funnier in the room, it's Brian Holtzman. The discomfort, the weirdness, and the way he works around it when you're in the room is so fun.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  And every show is different.

• 24:36Joe Rogan?

  Every show is different. And he's always talking about new things. He's like, I mean, it's really like he channels this fucking character. It's like, he should be two different people. He should be Brian Holtzman, the super nice guy, and then whatever the fuck his name is when he's on stage. It's almost like he needs a second name. Mitzi should have done that a long time ago. Mitzi used to call Joey Fat Baby. Do you remember those days?

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:59Joe Rogan?

  Someone, someone has one of the lineups that they got from Jeff Scott and on the lineup. It's got everybody's name and then, you know, 15 minutes and then it says Fat Baby.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Fat Baby.

• 25:11Joe Rogan?

  She wanted him to be called Fat Baby.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Weird advice sometimes, man. The managers give you the clubs.

• 25:18Joe Rogan?

  Terrible advice. Can't listen to any of them. I've never heard one good advice.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  I was bummed out one time because, you know, you have to go back and forth, back and forth, till they make you a regular.

• 25:28Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  And I was trying at the Laugh Factory. At one time, Jamie Salda, he told me, I don't see you making it, man, for another six to eight years.

• 25:37Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  And then when I finally got last couple of staff, I looked at him and said, you were, Jamie, your advice was full of shit. It took fucking 12. It took 12, not six. But I was bummed out when he told me that. I was like bummed out, you know, you get bummed out, like, you realize, you're putting all this work in, it's like, you know, you can't be a regular here, so you gotta go back to these other rooms. Um, I talked to Brad Williams and, um, he said, um, fuck that advice, bro. You know what he told me? He said, he told me that I should get all the little people I can find in Hollywood. All of them, all the little midgets, all the little persons, and bring them to the Laugh Factory. And Jamie said, you can have the biggest little person show in all of Hollywood.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  That was his advice for Brad. So then I thought, I was, I was not feeling so bad after that. Then I talked to Alonso Bodin, and he told Alonso Bodin that he should put on shoulder pads. And be a football comic.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  So Joe, after hearing that, I didn't want to cry anymore.

• 26:44Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god. He had some terrible advice.

• 26:50Joe Rogan?

  I think it was, he was giving advi- I think it was, he was giving this advice to Todd Parker. Who was telling him, it was either Todd Parker or Robbie Prince, two guys that I knew from Boston. One of them, he was telling him, I think it's Todd, you've got to be Generation X guy. This is what you're going to be, buddy. You're going to be Generation X guy. So from Generation X, this is how I see the world, buddy. Like, everything was as a genera- Generation X guy, like, and he was like, that's the worst advice I've ever heard in my life. Like, why would I do that? But people would have like schemes for you. But the thing is, they're just trying to help.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:25Joe Rogan?

  But the, the, no one knows how to do it other than you, and you got to figure it out. No one can tell you.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're like outdated too.

• 27:33Joe Rogan?

  Like, who would have told Mitch Hedberg, wear sunglasses and sometimes turn your back to the crowd?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  No one.

• 27:38Joe Rogan?

  No one. Mitch Hedberg would be killing with his back to the crowd, high on heroin. All non sequiturs for like an hour and a half.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  They have stage fright?

• 27:49Joe Rogan?

  He was just crazy, you know?

• 27:51Speaker 01

  You worked with him? You met him?

• 27:52Joe Rogan?

  I met him. I didn't know him well, but I, you know, I knew him enough that it was a bummer when, when he died. I remember I was with Stan Hope, we were filming something and, um, we found out that he had gangrene. He got admitted to a hospital, he had gangrene, like, yo, gangrene fucking kills people, like, this is fucking scary. And, you know, he just had a problem. He just liked that heroin. And he didn't wanna stop. Like, people wanted to clean him up. He did not wanna get cleaned up. It's like, I am not interested.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  I did heroin one time, but I didn't show it up. I just smoked it, but I was in Amsterdam.

• 28:29Joe Rogan?

  Dude, it doesn't seem like anybody has a great old time with the rest of their life once they start doing heroin.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:35Joe Rogan?

  It's like cocaine. It's the same thing. It's like, I think there's probably moments of brilliance that have come out of heroin, though. I, I, I definitely do, and I think about nineteen sixties music. I think heroin and LSD affected a lot of rock and roll in the nineteen sixties, and cannabis for sure, too, and probably mushrooms. But, you know, the, the thing that, it always kills you. Like, everybody always, it always ruins everything. They all died young. Everybody, like, what, Morrison, twenty-seven, Hendrix, twenty-seven. Although there is a wild conspiracy about Hendrix.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 29:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  What'd you hear?

• 29:15Joe Rogan?

  That he was killed by his manager.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 29:18Joe Rogan?

  The conspiracy, there's, there was one of his bodyguards, right? Is that what it was, Jamie, that wrote this book?

• 29:23Speaker 01

  How did he die?

• 29:24Joe Rogan?

  He, I think he died of his asphyxiation from throwing up, you know, which is one thing that can happen to people that are doing drugs. But the, uh, bodyguard, I, I believe this, don't hold me to this, but I believe the story was Hendrix was gonna leave his manager. His manager was mobbed up. His manager was like a scary guy, and his manager was making a lot of money with Hendrix. Hendrix was trying to leave, and, uh, he's got the rights to the Hendrix catalog, and he kills Hendrix. So it's former roadie. So the thing that's compelling about this is shortly after this, his, uh, girlfriend

• 30:04Speaker 01

  James Tappy.

• 30:05Joe Rogan?

  committed suicide, air quotes, by being thrown off a roof. So they got rid of Hendrix and they got rid of his girlfriend, if that's what really happened. So that, he was the benefactor allegedly of the guitarist's two-million-dollar life insurance policy.

• 30:21Joe Rogan?

  Two million dollars. Okay, worth around 1.2 million in 1970. According to Wright, Jeffrey told him about the crime in 1971, a year after the 27-year-old Hendrix was found dead in a London hotel. He said, "I had to do it, Tappy." Wright claims the manager said, "You understand, don't you? I had to do it. You know damn well what I'm talking about. We went round to his hotel room, got a handful of pills, stuffed them into his mouth, then poured a few bottles of red wine deep into his windpipe." Hendrix is found dead at the Samarcond Hotel on 18th of September, 1970. The cause of death was recorded as "barbiturate intoxication and inhalation of vomit."

• 31:06Joe Rogan?

  "I can still hear the conversation," Wright wrote of Jeffrey's confession. "See the man I'd known for so much of my life, his face pale, hand clutching at his glass in sudden rage." Hendrix's manager died in a plane crash in 73. So this guy's dead that supposedly did this. Listen, man, they did that back then. They were gangsters. There was gangsters running everything. If there was a lot of money to be made, scary people moved in and it became a real problem.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, gangsters owned a lot of stuff that a lot of people wouldn't want to own, like a gay club.

• 31:40Joe Rogan?

  Uh huh, yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Like in LA, they owned all the gay clubs. They were not raided because they were paying.

• 31:47Joe Rogan?

  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. People like to throw around all these red flags, you know, things someone says or does that you don't like, which is fine. But instead of focusing on the negative all the time, why don't we focus on the positive? If you're looking for a romantic partner, think about what traits you like to see in a person. If you like to work out and stay in shape, you might want to find someone who's also health-conscious. Or if you like to travel, you probably want to find someone who's just as adventurous. Now, once you're in a relationship, it's a whole different ballgame and things aren't always going to be perfect, but that's what therapy is for. Therapy is an excellent way to work through any problems, even the small ones, like say you and a loved one have been fighting a

• 32:30Joe Rogan?

  A lot lately, but you still really want to make things work. Therapy can serve as a intermediary. It can help you identify the problem and teach you positive ways to address it. If you're new to therapy or want to try something different, BetterHelp is a great place to start. It's convenient and affordable since everything is done online. It's already helped over five million people worldwide connect with a credentialed therapist. Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jre to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash J R E.

• 33:12Joe Rogan?

  But if you want to talk about something like that, like would, would, would a manager kill a client for a life insurance policy back then? Yeah.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  I read this.

• 33:22Joe Rogan?

  DNA back then, man.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  I read this, right? It's like crazy, right? My mom didn't like Elvis. She liked the Beatles, right? And I asked my mom, how come you don't like fucking Elvis? He's badass too. Oh, because Elvis said that I'd rather sleep with, have kids, a dog than a Mexican woman. And I said, when did he say that? And he goes, he said it. Then I found out later on when I went in a rabbit hole, ba ba ba ba bum. It was a Colonel. The Colonel spread that.

• 33:48Joe Rogan?

  The Colonel spread that.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Because he wanted, he wanted to keep him in America and not tour like anywhere.

• 33:54Joe Rogan?

  The Colonel was an evil dude, man.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:57Joe Rogan?

  That, that, by the way, that Tom Hanks performance is fucking fantastic. In that Elvis movie where he plays the Colonel?

• 34:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:04Joe Rogan?

  Is, you know, when you see it, like, you appreciate how a guy can really like become a different person. Like, he becomes this creepy manager guy, this manipulative gambling creepy manager guy. I mean, it's fucking genius, man. It's so good. Like, you're really, you, that's what's crazy. You forget that's Tom Hanks. You're like, oh, but you really got a sense of the relationship that Elvis had with this dude.

• 34:29Joe Rogan?

  Cause those guys they get crazy, look, there's famous and then there's Elvis famous in the nineteen sixties and you don't even understand what that means. No one understands what that means and he was the first one to be like that, imagine that.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  I know, man, imagine walking into a room and just go, you wanna kiss and they kiss.

• 34:46Joe Rogan?

  Just imagine just trying to navigate life as a human being and you're literally the most desired person to be around a lot, like you can't walk down the street, people scream and they cheer and they run at you, women faint, they cry. And there's never been someone like that before, that's what's crazy, cause this is the first time you've seen a guy on television and he's on television shaking his hips and so they go crazy.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  No one ever done that, huh?

• 35:14Joe Rogan?

  No, no, you never had a pop star on TV shaking his hips like he's fucking, yeah, it was too much.

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Did they cover it up the first time on the set of a show?

• 35:24Joe Rogan?

  They did something where they were upset at him because they didn't know he was gonna do it, I think it was like, I think he was actually gonna get fined in some places, like you weren't allowed to shake your hips like that, like this is how crazy being Elvis was.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  Badass, there's this one video or picture of Elvis that I like besides the one you have here, you know, the rested. When he's um, he's playing outside, an outside event and he's wearing all black and he's fucking young as hell and the popper door looking good, the blue eyes are shining, he's like, bro. And about eighteen.

• 35:59Joe Rogan?

  And there was no Elvis before Elvis, that's what's crazy, so he's like this one guy that becomes way more famous than any entertainer ever.

• 36:09Joe Rogan?

  And then he's got an evil manager and then he's doing pills and then he's just living in paranoia and the whole world don't make any sense, nothing makes any sense. It can't make any sense, you have no peers, you have no one around you that's like you, no one around you that can understand you and you're being protected by some guy who's like siphoning money from you.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  He was doing shit little gigs, right, like he'll leave, he'll do like a two hour show and then leave, go do another two hour show somewhere else.

• 36:35Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think he got into a financial bind, right? Isn't, wasn't that a part of the movie? And then he got that Vegas residency.

• 36:44Joe Rogan?

  Bro, the Vegas residency is probably convenient because you don't have to go anywhere. You know, you know where you live, you know where the gig is, like Carrot Top seems to like it, but I don't think I could do that.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Bro, if you're a musician, though, like Elvis, it's great.

• 36:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, oh yeah, but even like comics can do it, a lot of comics do it. You know, it's, I just don't know about living in Vegas.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  I lose my mind being in the same place seven days a week, fourteen shows.

• 37:13Joe Rogan?

  The people that live outside of Vegas love it, though. If you live like in like Henderson or some of those places, like they're very, very nice places. But it's still, you're still connected to this place where people go to get psychotic. There's some weird energy about that. I, listen, this is not a knock on Vegas. I love Vegas, look, I love New York City. Ari fucking loves living in New York City. I can't live in New York City. I can't handle all that. I gotta get the fuck away. Some people love it, you can, everybody can love everything, but it just seems like that, it's like Vegas is a uniquely crazy place. People go there specifically like, "We're gonna go to Vegas." It's like it's in the title of the state means craziness.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  I know, man.

• 37:55Joe Rogan?

  You went Vegas.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Every, every day, probably like fifty thousand people show up.

• 38:00Joe Rogan?

  It's every day, and then you got rodeos coming into town, and UFC fights coming into town, and fucking concerts.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  Raider fans.

• 38:08Joe Rogan?

  It's a fucking wild ass town. I, I love being there, I just don't know if I could live there. I just, it seems like it's almost a little too crazy.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Kris him through the hole.

• 38:16Joe Rogan?

  So this is Ed Sullivan Show, nineteen fifty-six.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  This is the only time, this is the first time his hips show up on the screen? It's ten minutes into this?

• 38:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he was wiggling his dick too much.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  That's all he was doing, though.

• 38:26Joe Rogan?

  That's a lot, Jamie, what do you mean? That's all he was doing, that's offensive.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  After this aired, they, they said they wouldn't air him from the waist down anymore.

• 38:34Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 38:37Speaker 02

  It's barely, it's barely shown. It's so crazy.

• 38:40Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he probably had it, look, his big old dick keeps slapping at his jacket. That's what it is. Look, if you see that side, back it up a little bit. That's what the problem is, Jamie. Look at that jacket popping up and down from his big old Elvis dick. Look at it.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  He didn't assemble with it.

• 38:53Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he's, he's making his jacket pop with his dick. I'm with the censors. I'm with the censors. Of course he had a big dick. He had everything. Hit everything. He had voice, talent, beautiful. You think he's gonna have a little dick?

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Hell no, man.

• 39:05Joe Rogan?

  All those gifts?

• 39:06Speaker 01

  How tall is he?

• 39:07Joe Rogan?

  I don't know. He's probably at least six feet tall. Twenty-one years old there.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Twenty-one, man. Wow!

• 39:13Joe Rogan?

  How? How can you manage that? How can you navigate that at twenty-one years old? It's him-

• 39:18Speaker 01

  I know, man.

• 39:19Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it's him and Michael Jackson. These are the two case studies in people that got too famous.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Sometimes I wonder, man, like, how would I handle that much success at that early age?

• 39:30Joe Rogan?

  Bro, you wouldn't.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  I know, that's what I'm saying, bro.

• 39:33Joe Rogan?

  You would. You would go crazy, bro.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  How about you?

• 39:36Joe Rogan?

  Crazy. I would've gone crazy.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  I would've been singing with a big fucking cold sore.

• 39:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, dude, I got lucky. My, my fame ascent was a slow drip, you know, like, over time.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Oh, bro.

• 39:46Joe Rogan?

  A slow drip.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  Mine was like that little mountain guy on, um, on The Price is Right.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  And then stopping along the way, bunch of haters.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Fighting with other comics. Coke here.

• 39:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Hank Ronstadt, El Compadres, too long with Joey Diaz.

• 40:02Joe Rogan?

  Dad, El Compadres is a spot. Sixty-four years ago today, more than sixty million people watched Elvis Presley perform on the Ed Sullivan Show.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 40:13Joe Rogan?

  Sixty million, that's so crazy. But that's how it used to be, man, when, and that's why losing control of that is so devastating to mainstream media. That was what it was. When I was a kid, there was three channels, dude. There was NBC, ABC, and CBS, and that was it. And then all of a sudden, there was Fox, and we were crazy.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Did you have local-

• 40:33Joe Rogan?

  We got a whole nother channel?

• 40:34Speaker 01

  You had local channels too, though, in your neighborhood?

• 40:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We definitely did, especially, yeah, we all had, everyone has local channels. So you always had, like, the local NBC network, which-

• 40:43Speaker 01

  You need those. Somebody gotta play the variety movies.

• 40:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, we didn't even have cable. Like, it didn't exist.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  We had-

• 40:48Joe Rogan?

  Like, you have to realize how nuts the world was when everything you watched on television was just television, and that's all you ever saw. Like, there's no cable. So you have four channels if you're cra- and you felt so lucky to have that fourth channel. You got The Simpsons, Married with Children came on that channel. Fox changed the whole, In Living Color. Changed the whole, like, feeling of what a channel was. It's crazy that Fox is now connected to, like, conservative Republicans reporting their news. But it's like Fox when we were kids was Married with Children. It was, you know, it was like the renegade shows. It was The Simpsons. It was, uh, you know, there was a bunch of like fun shows that were on Fox.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Man, Living Single.

• 41:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but In Living Color, to this day, I say is one of, there's two of the greatest comedy, like, Saturday Night Live always gets it for longevity, because it's crazy, they've been around so long.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  SCTV.

• 41:42Joe Rogan?

  But for like pure funny, for me, it's like In Living Color and Chappelle's Show. And I feel like you don't get Chappelle's Show unless you have In Living Color first. I feel like it there, I, I feel like In Living Color broke open the door for chaotic sketches that were like really funny, man, wildly offensive, really funny, to this day. Like, there's a lot of shit on In Living Color that if you tried to do like in the height of wokeness, like three or four years ago, bro, they would fucking call for your censorship.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 42:17Joe Rogan?

  They would come for you.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Especially when David Wayans and David Languiro were doing Men on Film. There's an episode where, where fucking the camera falls.

• 42:26Joe Rogan?

  They gave it two snaps.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Yep, the camera falls on David Wayans and he becomes heterosexual all of a sudden. And then, uh, David Languiro starts touching him, he goes, "Make it to half away from me, man."

• 42:39Speaker 01

  That episode.

• 42:40Joe Rogan?

  How about when he played Handyman, he played a mentally retarded.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  I love that one.

• 42:44Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  That's my favorite movie.

• 42:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a handicapped superhero. It was.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Any superhero movie about him, Handyman. He would fly like this.

• 42:59Joe Rogan?

  Dude, this, this show was wild.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Hilarious, bro.

• 43:03Joe Rogan?

  Wildly offensive, but so funny.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  Even Fire Marshal Bill, bro, he was making fun of a fire victim.

• 43:09Joe Rogan?

  I was just gonna bring that up.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Let me tell you something.

• 43:11Joe Rogan?

  The guy's fu- fucking whole face is burned off. Jesus Christ.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  My daughter's a bird victim, by the way.

• 43:19Joe Rogan?

  That's harsh, bro.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  That's what you'll get.

• 43:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's, uh, wild that shows like that.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  That one, bro, ahead of his time.

• 43:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, way ahead. Well, so was that other movie. We were just talking about that, Ace Ventura. Ace Ventura.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:33Joe Rogan?

  Yes, when you find out that she's a, a trans person and the dick comes out and everybody starts throwing up.

• 43:43Joe Rogan?

  First of all, I don't buy it. Even if she had it turned to that photo again? That's Sean Young, right?

• 43:51Speaker 01

  That's Sean Young, yeah.

• 43:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, when she was hot. So even if she had a dick, there's a lot of guys who'd be like, listen, nobody needs to know about that dick.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Nobody needs to know about that man.

• 44:00Joe Rogan?

  That dick is between you and me and I get used to it.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  I remember one time it happened to me, bro. I just looked at it and go, wow, that's a big ass skin tag you got right there.

• 44:08Joe Rogan?

  Dude, skin tag.

• 44:12Joe Rogan?

  Whoo. Yeah, all those shows like, I mean, what are the other great sketch shows? Mad TV had some bangers.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  Mad TV?

• 44:20Joe Rogan?

  There were some bangers on Mad TV. But it's another show that's like-

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Second City TV, I watched that growing up.

• 44:25Joe Rogan?

  Kids in the Hall.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Kids in the Hall?

• 44:27Joe Rogan?

  Kids in the Hall. Kids in the Hall was fantastic. That was great. You know, um, I was a Kids in the Hall fan, but I didn't really start watching it, like really get into it until after I'd met Dave. Like, I didn't know much about Kids in the Hall. I knew it was funny. I knew everybody said it was funny, but I don't think I'd ever even watched a sketch. And then I became friends with Dave doing news radio. And then I started really getting into it. I was like, oh, this, that guy had a very neat, or still does, have a very, very unique sense of humor. He rewrote like, I don't know what percentage, forty percent of like the lines on news radio, like on the set.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:06Joe Rogan?

  He rewrites things all the time. And he was always like, coming up with a better way to do something. Always had like a sense of like a pacing.

• 45:16Joe Rogan?

  That's a totally different thing, man, when you're making sketches. Like sketches are to, like to be able to do that and do a lot of like really funny scenarios that are unique, that's a very-

• 45:27Speaker 01

  It's hard, right, for stand-up because we want to end it, huh?

• 45:30Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm. Well, it's a totally different way of thinking. You know, Gillian Keeves is another fantastic one. That, that to this day, like, the problem with that show is like, it's got this amazing fan core, fan base. But it doesn't, it's way funnier than the amount of people that have seen it. It's way funnier, which is crazy because Shane Gillis is one of the biggest comics in the world.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Yes. He's funny as hell.

• 45:54Joe Rogan?

  He's one of the biggest comics on earth. He's selling out arenas everywhere.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:58Joe Rogan?

  But yet, people don't realize how good Gillian Keys is. It's like, there's a one where they do the OnlyFans dad. It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed in my fucking life. It's so funny. It's so funny and so crazy, and because no one's telling them what to do, they're just doing what's funny. And that's what got fucked up. There were so many fucking nannies around everybody telling everybody what you can and can't say, and so many subjects you can and can't cover. Like, you gotta stay out of the way, just like the managers in the early days.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:30Joe Rogan?

  They're telling you, Felipe, you need braids.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:34Joe Rogan?

  Braids, bro, with beads, and you talk about the beads when you're on stage. You're like, what?

• 46:37Speaker 01

  You need to wear a suit.

• 46:38Joe Rogan?

  Shut the fuck up. Get out of here.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  I remember one time, bro, they told me to wear a suit, and I wore it, and I saw Joe Diaw wearing a suit, and I said, bro, you look ridiculous, huh? Because Joe Diaw, he was wearing a beanie. I remember I called him the Coca-Cola bear. He got mad.

• 46:53Joe Rogan?

  Suits are a weird move, but they're sometimes fun. I've worn suits on stage before. It makes you feel different. It does.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Do you feel like you're gonna like, change your posture, or?

• 47:03Joe Rogan?

  No, you just feel like, uh, more of a motherfucking professional bitch. Look at this. And a well-tailored suit is what you really want, the kind, like, modern suits, you can move in them. Like, they have like, stretch to them, which is different than, you know, when I was a kid, I thought of suits, I thought of like, you're handcuffed. Like, you can't move good.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:24Joe Rogan?

  Like, you can't kick someone with fucking suit pants on. You know, you can't move well.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  I know, look, I always see Johnny Carson in his suits, and those suits look tight as hell.

• 47:34Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's just, the fabrics suck back then. If you, especially if you're a bigger person, you know, if you lift weights or something like that, if you have muscles, everything's gonna be constricted and tight and all fucked up. It's not gonna fit good. So suits now, if you get a good one, like, I got mine made by David August. They do them for the UFC, and

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:55Joe Rogan?

  I've had him make a bunch of suits for me. They're amazing. They do it to your actual shape.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  I've seen that, because, I mean, I don't wanna make fun of the other guys, but you're now seeing? You know, you're a big muscle guy, but it doesn't look like you're coming out of that suit when you wear it. It looks real good on you.

• 48:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's because they make it to your shape.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  And you go to Fox Sports, man, they're about to just come out, they're like fucking orangutan, bro, they're like, like Mr. Hyde.

• 48:24Joe Rogan?

  Well, you know, a lot of those dudes are bigger than me anyway.

• 48:28Joe Rogan?

  There's a certain size that you get, like if you put The Rock in a suit, it still looks ridiculous. It's like, what the fuck are you made out of, dude? First time I met him backstage at the UFC and he had cowboy boots on, right? So he's, it doesn't even seem like a-

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Cowboy boots?

• 48:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he don't even seem like a real person. Like when you meet him in real life, you're like, how, what, what the fuck are you? He's like a superhero. Like you're seeing like a real live superhero. And a super nice guy, man. He came and worked out with us, we all worked out, Tony Hinchcliffe, Derek, Hassan. We all fucking lifted weights together, hung out, got in the sauna, Shane Gillis. We're all just chilling with The Rock, working out with him. Like no cameras, no nothing. I was like, let's, fuck, we don't have to post this, let's just have some fun. It's like, fuck yeah. He was cool as shit. Cool as shit, man.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Wow, that's amazing, man.

• 49:17Joe Rogan?

  It was fun. I enjoyed talking to him. He's a good guy.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  I was in an airplane, uh, at, at the America, Delta, and I saw Jason Momoa.

• 49:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's another one.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  And I said-

• 49:26Joe Rogan?

  Little too handsome for me.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  And I just said, what's up?

• 49:30Speaker 01

  No, I don't know how to meet people, I always, I always, weird people, I always say, Jason! I just like that, Jason! What's up? And then I didn't know that, we were, we were sitting almost close together on the airplane. Then he saw me again, bro. Then I said, what's up? And then I felt like I creeped him out again, man. And then my wife was recording him, bro, recording him. But I was on my phone, he thought I was recording him, but-

• 49:55Joe Rogan?

  I met him in a Whole Foods parking lot. I met him in a Whole Foods parking lot in Woodland Hills. I was going to pick up some groceries and he was there too. I was like, what's up, man? How you doing? What's going on? We were talking. I think that was before he did Conan. Which I, I still say to this day, the movie's not good, like the Conan movie, it's kind of falls apart. But the way it looked was amazing. And he played Conan and he's the perfect Conan. Like that's what Conan would have looked like. He wouldn't have looked like a bodybuilder, no disrespect to Arnold, because he looked amazing. But it's like Conan was just a big giant warrior. And when he played that guy, what, what was the guy he played in Game of Thrones?

• 50:33Speaker 01

  Crackle or something like that.

• 50:34Joe Rogan?

  God, I can't remember. He was fucking incredible at that.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  He played with, um.

• 50:38Joe Rogan?

  That's Conan, man.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:39Joe Rogan?

  That's Conan. Someone needs to do a good Conan the Barbarian movie. Go back and read the Robert E. Howard books. The books are great. It's this super depressed dude in like the 1930s. Writes about this barbarian. Yeah. Call Drago. That's right.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  There we are. Two people get mistaken by.

• 50:59Joe Rogan?

  Bro, get a, get a photo of him when he was Conan. Jason Momoa as Conan.

• 51:07Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he's the perfect Conan. Right there. That's what Conan's supposed to look like.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  That's, that's how I'm supposed to look too.

• 51:13Joe Rogan?

  That's the perfect Conan. That's the Conan you believe is real. That's a guy throwing a sword around his whole life and fighting off dragons. He's not a bodybuilder. He looks like that. That's what it looks like in the book. Like that fucking Conan.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  We're identical.

• 51:27Joe Rogan?

  That's Conan.

• 51:29Joe Rogan?

  I mean, someone needs, the guy's still capable of playing this character. Someone, please.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Me.

• 51:36Joe Rogan?

  I wish Quentin Tarantino was into Conan. Quentin, if you're hearing me, please read the books. Quentin Tarantino doing Conan would be the most epic thing of all time. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you're thinking about building a website, you should try Squarespace. I know because I use it. That's right. JoeRogan.com is powered by Squarespace. It has all the features that you need to create a standout website like an AI-enhanced website builder, SEO optimization tools, and seamless checkouts with mobile pay links. Head to Squarespace.com/Rogan for a free trial.

• 52:15Joe Rogan?

  And when you are ready to launch, use the offer code ROGEN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card, it gives you 5% cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high.

• 53:00Joe Rogan?

  It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com/rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for more details. Could you imagine? He would do it right.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Or Beastmaster.

• 53:26Joe Rogan?

  If he was into it, he would have to be into it. I have no idea if he's into it. But if he was into it.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  If Chris Ternchino might do it.

• 53:34Joe Rogan?

  Somebody should do it.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  It'll start with the ending. It'll be like the ending of the movie in the beginning and confuse.

• 53:41Joe Rogan?

  Somebody should do it. The books are great, man, because it's all from the mind of this tortured, depressed dude who winds up killing himself.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  It'll be the first time that you'll see a Conan movie with everybody saying the N-word over and over.

• 53:57Joe Rogan?

  I don't think they had that word back then. I think if you want to do it right.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  They'll make one up.

• 54:01Joe Rogan?

  I think if they really wanted to do it right, they should probably do it the way like Mel Gibson did Apocalypto.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  That was a badass fucking movie, bro. You felt that movie, bro.

• 54:09Joe Rogan?

  But you know what I'm saying? Like, hearing the people say it. And the same thing he did with The Passion of the Christ. They spoke in the language, and it was all subtitles. Like, they spoke in the language, so you were transmitted exactly how these people were saying. You felt like it was real. Like, Apocalypto, you felt like it was real. Like, there was no English in that movie. That is a blockbuster movie. That is a wild action-adventure movie.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  That one was hardcore, man. Passion of the Christ, Alan Capelito.

• 54:41Joe Rogan?

  There's something about being sucked into hearing the actual language of the people that would be doing this. It's so much better than, cause like, whenever they do like Game of Thrones or something like that in another country, all of a sudden, everybody has an English accent.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:53Joe Rogan?

  That's how they do it. Instead of talking like an American, you can't talk like us, cause that would just throw people off. So you have to have some sort of a proper way of speaking.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  The Exorcist, man, like, if the Exorcist, the devil would have had like an Irish accent, it would have been totally a different movie, but, but that Latin accent, the whatever language, Latin language.

• 55:11Joe Rogan?

  Right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  Fuck, yeah, you're like, you don't even know what the language is, but you're fucking scared.

• 55:20Joe Rogan?

  Right, it has to be exotic. You can't have the devil going, "Hey, you fucking piece of shit, I'm gonna fuck your eyeballs."

• 55:25Speaker 01

  You better get out of my garage.

• 55:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can't have the devil talking like Jerry Seinfeld.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  I'm speaking absolutes.

• 55:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can't have the devil with a whiny voice.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Or a Boston accent, you know, if I'm.

• 55:37Joe Rogan?

  That was the scariest thing about Mike Tyson. His, his voice, his voice that was so easy to make fun of, and he fucking murdered everybody.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  Knocked your ass out.

• 55:45Joe Rogan?

  It was almost like he was begging you to make fun of his voice.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Dangerous dudes.

• 55:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was almost like he was like begging you.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  You're like, like you, bro, you're, you're like, you're like one of those guys. You're like, um, to someone that doesn't know you personally, you're like, try me.

• 56:03Joe Rogan?

  No, I'm not like that at all, though, I'm real nice.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  If I didn't know you, and I saw you walking down the street, and you're not Joe Rogan, I'd be like, okay, man, this guy's good fight. He's healthy. Stay away from him.

• 56:13Joe Rogan?

  I'm friendly. That's what we all need, my friend, we need friendly.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  But you've been friendly since day one, though. I was talking to the, your driver, um, um, Rebel, about, uh, when you gave me that solo pipe. And then um you say you stopped using it because of butane.

• 56:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  And I remember um I was telling you that I I I the reason it's called solo pipe because you're supposed to use it by yourself. But I remember I told everybody you gave it to me and everybody wanted to hit it. And by the time I got it back, it was fucking hot.

• 56:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I remember those things. I I try to stay like. I think if you're smoking a cigar, like butane is the way to go, you know, you burn the end of it, but you don't want to like keep doing it, you want to. I feel like a certain amount of this is a chemical, no matter what. Look, that's a chemical. You only want so much of that. You really should probably have matches if you're gonna light, if you're gonna smoke a cigar.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Matches?

• 57:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you should really probably have matches. And I think if you're like a super cigar nerd, they do it even further. They take cedar. And they light cedar strips and they use that to to light their cigar. Those are super nerds.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  Cedar strips?

• 57:25Joe Rogan?

  Cedar strips, dog. Pieces of wood. They light little strips of wood and they light from pure wood, then they light their cigar. There's super nerds when it comes to cigars, like they get into it.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that's where that guy said um um guys in New York, give me some ember.

• 57:43Joe Rogan?

  Give me some ember?

• 57:44Speaker 01

  Ember?

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Oh, that's that's that's that and what is ember, fire? Oh. Oh shit.

• 57:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so these guys, they they take little cedar strips and they light them on fire and then they light their cigar from the cedar strips. So this way you're not getting any of the butane fumes. I don't even know how much you would get. I don't, you know.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Get better later?

• 58:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, sure. You know how to work it?

• 58:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:10Joe Rogan?

  Thing back? We're probably gonna find out that.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:16Joe Rogan?

  Every time you burn a lighter near you, you inhale like ten times more than you're ever supposed to in your life. We'll probably find something like that out someday. It can't be so good to have convenient fire, like. Fire that quickly means like you've got some funky gases that you're burning. You're burning some funky gases in the air.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Oh horrible. Cause I remember like lighting a match and then you get the ugly ass.

• 58:45Joe Rogan?

  You know what's real bad?

• 58:46Speaker 01

  What?

• 58:46Joe Rogan?

  Scented candles. Scented candles apparently are not healthy. Jamie, Google that. Um, maybe I should say some scented candles, maybe there's a way to do it, uh, organically. We should find out if that's true too, because that would be a good thing to know. Because I think there's some things in some scented candles that you're not supposed to inhale. And when you're, uh, a person that likes to have candles, and who doesn't, they're cool. You wanna have candles in your house, that's dope. Like candlelight dinner with a bunch of friends is dope. Right? But I think it's the scented ones.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  It says it's the ones that are made from paraffin.

• 59:26Joe Rogan?

  The ones that are made from paraffin are the problem. It's a cheap byproduct primarily sourced from the refinement of petroleum. So you're burning petroleum. Paraffin is the most used candle wax worldwide, according to the National Candle Association. The major trade association representing US candle manufacturers and their suppliers. So it's all candles made from paraffin? However, few studies on candle emissions or their potential effects on human health exist. And conclusions from the research are mixed. There is no overall conclusion that paraffin candles will either, oh, excuse me, either will or won't harm your health, says pulmonologist Dr. Sobia Farukh,

• 1:00:06Joe Rogan?

  a clinical assistant professor at the Cleveland Clinic Learner College of Medicine. But the risks may also depend on various factors, including candle type and quality. How often and how long you're burning it, the airflow and the space where you're burning it, your health status and more. Well. Either it's not good for you, or it's fine. It's, these are the options. And it seems to me like there's a little gaslighting going on here. Like, how could it be good for you to have petroleum burning in your house? I want you to show me a study that, that's like, tell, to, measure the fucking air in the room when you have three candles. Measure the air in the room when you have four candles. Measure, keep going. Tell me when I'm gonna get lung cancer from this shit. Because.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:00:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Benzene, a known carcinogen, is another VOC relea-, uh, released by paraffin candles. Hawk, uh, added, "Long-term exposure to this chemical has been linked to blood disorders such as leukemia. When inhaled, benzene can also be a respiratory irritant." Which means it could probably. Yeah. Fuck.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 1:01:17Joe Rogan?

  So, people think candles are cool. It's like...

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:01:20Joe Rogan?

  But what about, what is, what is a candle that you can use? Like, can, there's gotta be candles that are not bad.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  I hope all those candles that I've got in a massage parlor are safe.

• 1:01:31Joe Rogan?

  New candle. Oh, now. Candles made from soy wax, beeswax, or stirrin, coconut oil, or animal fats are often considered healthier, but anything that is burned emits harmful particulates or chemicals, Evan said. So, these candles also release VOCs into the air. It's just that paraffin wax is usually more polluting, according to... Oh, great. So, they all suck. The risk of toxic emissions is greater when candles are scented or dyed, which is another reason why paraffin-free candles aren't immediately in the clear. This, this is because artificial fragrances have VOCs, including phthalates, which have been linked to learning and behavior problems, obesity, impaired development of the reproductive systems, and more.

• 1:02:14Joe Rogan?

  Evan said the unscented candle in the 2015 research also caused concerning concentrations of toxins, but had the lowest amount compared with its scented counterparts. Yeah, by what ratio? I wonder how much lower. Candle, oh, the National Candle Association maintains that candles are "safe for use in the home", a spokesperson said in a statement.

• 1:02:40Joe Rogan?

  First of all, you can't totally say anything's safe. Because I, I was dating a girl once and she burnt her fucking house down with candles.

• 1:02:50Joe Rogan?

  That's exaggerating. She burnt a wall in her house.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  What was she doing?

• 1:02:54Joe Rogan?

  She just let her candles burn down and something caught fire. And it, like, lit the side of her fucking bedroom hall. Like, her, her wall was on fire.

• 1:03:04Joe Rogan?

  She liked candles. So, they're not totally safe. It's fire. Fire's not totally safe. Fucking lighters aren't totally safe. You can't say it's safe. Like, you could, you could definitely do something stupid with it. Like, you know what's safe? Marshmallows. Munchbowl is are safe.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Not if you light them.

• 1:03:21Joe Rogan?

  It's not good to eat, they're bad for your body, but they're fucking safe, they're not gonna kill you.

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  Unless you burn them to make smores with a lighter and a fork.

• 1:03:30Joe Rogan?

  You know what's supposed to be really bad for you? Paper straws. Paper straws have those forever chemicals in them. See if that's true.

• 1:03:38Joe Rogan?

  Otherwise we'll have to cut this out without getting sued by the paper straw industry. Oh. Speaking of straws, right, everybody knows that paper straws came around because everybody saw that video of that turtle with that straw on his nose. That's the only reason why we started looking at paper straws, different than everything else, right?

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Paper or plastic?

• 1:03:58Joe Rogan?

  Plastic.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:04:00Joe Rogan?

  Plastic straws came about, what, did I say paper? Plastic straws came about because of that video of that turtle with the plastic straw in his nose, right? Remember that?

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:10Joe Rogan?

  That was it.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  It was like in their nose, right?

• 1:04:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, deep, deep in the turtle's nose. New study found that ninety percent of paper straws tested contained forever chemicals. Or PFAS compared to seventy-five percent of plastic straws. So even plastic straws have those fucking chemicals in them, but it's even worse for you to use paper straws. Paper straws assessed by researchers at University of Antwerp, Belgium.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  Antwerp.

• 1:04:34Joe Rogan?

  Were found to contain more forever chemicals per polyfluoroalkyl. Fluoralkyl, how do you say that? Give it a shot.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Pla- philipine? Polyfluoralkyl.

• 1:04:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, substances or PFAS is than plastic, but all of them are bad for you. What it's basically saying is that even straws, seventy-five percent of plastic straws have tested that they contain forever chemicals. That's not good, so all of it's bad. We should probably abandon the idea of straws.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  I like McDonald's straws, the big fat ones.

• 1:05:08Joe Rogan?

  Here's what you don't want, a metal straw and a Stanley and then fall on your face.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck that.

• 1:05:12Joe Rogan?

  People have done that.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  Idiots.

• 1:05:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, listen, I've fallen before.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  You know somebody?

• 1:05:17Joe Rogan?

  I've, no, but I've fallen before, I'm, I'm an idiot. No, I haven't, but I imagine, like, I would, you know. Just because you fall with a straw doesn't mean you're an idiot, but people gotta be aware that that's basically a metal shank that's gonna go right through your face if you trip. You gotta carry that thing if you're like clumsy, like as if you're carrying a knife. Like move it away from your body, you know, don't catch your body with it if you fall down and stab yourself in the face.

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  I know, man, you wouldn't let your baby hold that, why are you holding it?

• 1:05:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, why are you holding that? You're not ready for that yet.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  You ain't ready.

• 1:05:54Joe Rogan?

  Well, especially if you're clumsy. Clumsy people should really know they're clumsy and be super careful with what they're carrying. Are you clumsy?

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 1:06:01Joe Rogan?

  Don't carry a rake.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  I was outside over there going, I was holding that baseball and I'm thinking, I was holding that baseball and I'm looking at the werewolf and I'm thinking, I'm looking at my wife, I bet you I could throw a knuckleball and make it right in the fucking werewolf's mouth. You're gonna fuck something upside down.

• 1:06:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, don't fuck up my werewolf, bro. That's one of my prized possessions. And even if you get hit, what does that prove? Don't wanna break the werewolf's teeth. What'd you try and prove, Felipe?

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  I still could throw a knuckleball.

• 1:06:32Joe Rogan?

  Were you a good baseball player?

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  Hell, no.

• 1:06:33Joe Rogan?

  No, but you had a good knuckleball, or no?

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  No, I was good at playing street ball with a tennis ball and I could make, I had a good jump on a tennis ball. And we would throw like a regular fastball. And I used to make that shit. Man, that was good.

• 1:06:46Joe Rogan?

  Dude, we used to play stickball in the street. That was fun, we were kids.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  I don't get that game. I Wikipedia'd the other day to learn how to play, cause they're having like a stickball tournament in New York last week when I was there. Yeah, that's the video I saw.

• 1:07:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were having a tournament, other veterans that used to play stickball in New York showed up to play.

• 1:07:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he slid on concrete, bro.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  But I never knew the game, cause in LA, we play over the line.

• 1:07:13Joe Rogan?

  That's a good way to get a staph infection.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Look at that, bro.

• 1:07:16Joe Rogan?

  Sliding on concrete? Good way. They're getting pumped. That looks like a guy who plays really good stickball.

• 1:07:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a city thing.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  A real thing, right?

• 1:07:29Joe Rogan?

  When I played it, when I lived in Jamaica Plain, which a little place outside of Boston, we played that. We used to play stickball on the street. People get mad at you, hit their car with a tennis ball. It was stupid, but kids are just always looking for something to do back then. Now they're all online.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  I used to play crazy games growing up, bro, that, um, I don't presume kids don't play that anymore. I used to play this game, this game called huevos, which is called eggs. We used to put like a bunch of holes on the floor with your name on it and then somebody would throw a tennis ball. And whoever the ball lands on that hole, that person has to grab that ball and fuck somebody up in the back before they get it, make it to the wall. And, um, that person you hit has to grab that ball and then hit people on the way back before they get to the other side of the wall. And if you miss, everybody, you get an egg on your, on your little hole. And once you get four of them, we all take turns fucking you up with a tennis ball while you just stand there at this.

• 1:08:25Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was no cable back then. And we didn't want to join gangs.

• 1:08:32Joe Rogan?

  I think you did.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  And we didn't want to read.

• 1:08:34Joe Rogan?

  I heard you guys had a softcore gang.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  We didn't have no Boy Scouts.

• 1:08:40Joe Rogan?

  That's a crazy way to make friends.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  And we, you guys ever play suicide though?

• 1:08:44Joe Rogan?

  I don't, I don't remember. How's it go?

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  It's a handball court, a wall, and you throw a ball. And there's five kids and you catch it. But if you miss it, everybody starts fucking you up.

• 1:08:56Joe Rogan?

  No, I never played that.

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  Till you make it to the wall.

• 1:09:04Joe Rogan?

  No, I never played that.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  It was called suicide.

• 1:09:06Joe Rogan?

  Never played that.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  It would tell you, you know, everybody stand by the wall and you throw the ball against the wall. You try to catch it. And if you miss, they, they fucking jump you till you get to the wall with the ball.

• 1:09:18Joe Rogan?

  Fuck that.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  Oh, that's why.

• 1:09:22Joe Rogan?

  You got videos of it, Jamie?

• 1:09:23Speaker 01

  Suicide, oh my god.

• 1:09:25Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god. Ah, requires at least two players, can have as many as can be accommodated by the playing area. This is funny when they take a game like this and they break it down, like, these are the rules. We did play wall ball, we did, we called it wall ball.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  You call it wall ball?

• 1:09:40Joe Rogan?

  Did you do it like that? It was honestly, yeah, so if you fuck, if you fucked up, you'd have to stand on the wall, people could throw the ball.

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  There it is, right there, they're fucking them up.

• 1:09:47Joe Rogan?

  They're open, until the player touches the wall, they're open to be pegged, struck hard with a thrown ball by the player who caught it. If a player become, comes into contact with the ball, but fails to catch it, they are also open to be pegged. Yeah, I mean, that's what it was. It's a tough word to use, but that's what it is. Getting hit by a tennis ball is a good thing to get hit by, though, right? It sucks, like, if someone's throwing it, it sucks, but it's not gonna kill you.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  There's always this asshole kid that didn't like that kid that was gonna get hit, and he'll put that fucking ball in a shitload of water and mud.

• 1:10:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's a problem, he's cheating, he can't cheat.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  Oh, also, remember, um, is, is that person that put the get hit by the ball, runs home? We'll fuck, we'll fucking chase him home, but beat him up in front of his mom.

• 1:10:33Joe Rogan?

  Boy, that's why cable's important.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  Yes, man.

• 1:10:39Joe Rogan?

  That's why, uh, the internet's important, YouTube, we gotta keep people pacified.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  TikTok saved your life.

• 1:10:44Joe Rogan?

  Imagine if it did, imagine if it saved a few lives, people just at home scrolling instead of out gang banging. You know, I mean, everybody gets addicted to it, if you, you just, you don't go out and do terrible things because you just scroll and stare at your TikTok.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  I know, man, I wonder if kids still shoplift for fun?

• 1:11:04Joe Rogan?

  I bet they do, you know, there's been, like, famous people that have been caught shoplifting, I think a lot of people who shoplift.

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  You shoplift when you were little?

• 1:11:11Joe Rogan?

  I did.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  You were hungry?

• 1:11:13Joe Rogan?

  I got, no, no, no, I was just dumb and young, and, uh, I got caught.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  You don't do it now, right?

• 1:11:19Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  You see an opportunity?

• 1:11:21Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, no, I did it like a couple times ever, it was like candy bars and shit. When I was, I was just hanging around with a bunch of bad kids, and we would do that, we would go, it was like, it was a thrill, you'd go to a store and steal something, and, uh, I think we probably did it two or three times, and I got caught.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  I don't do it anymore, but.

• 1:11:38Joe Rogan?

  I felt so stupid.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  I know, but sometimes I'm walking around and I see like um like a pack of donuts. But they're far from where the donuts are.

• 1:11:47Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Like they're by the shoe and they're open and I'm like I'm all high looking at the donut like damn you're lost.

• 1:11:56Joe Rogan?

  Joey Diaz used to swipe lighters from 7-Eleven just to stay sharp.

• 1:12:03Joe Rogan?

  He had money, he would swipe lighters.

• 1:12:07Joe Rogan?

  Just to stay on his toes. How you doing, brother?

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  I saw him. I saw him do that while he's talking to the guy and he put his knickers.

• 1:12:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's get some hand movements to distract you.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  I think that was a game, man, that road comedians would do, bro, on the way to a gig, who could shoplift the most shit out of the gas station.

• 1:12:28Joe Rogan?

  That's not good for our reputation. That's not good for our reputation.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  You get power bars.

• 1:12:33Joe Rogan?

  Traveling entertainers. You get power bars. Yeah, gas station food, man. Those those times when you're on the road and all you're eating is garbage.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Hell, yeah, man. You gotta buy grilled cheese there and put pork rinds in it from the package.

• 1:12:46Joe Rogan?

  You gotta take a chance with the bean and cheese burrito that you microwave. You have to like open that strip of plastic.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Those were good, though. They were good.

• 1:12:54Joe Rogan?

  When you were hungry.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Ramones.

• 1:12:56Joe Rogan?

  Every now and then you got like good food at a gas station. You're like, why doesn't everybody do this? Like sometimes you go to a gas station and it's like a gas station, but it's also like a taco spot. Fried chicken, cheeseburgers. You're like, damn, those cheese, that is a legit fucking cheeseburger. Okay.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  Where am I? This place is dangerous here.

• 1:13:15Joe Rogan?

  I mean, you would make more money, right? That's what Buc-E's figured out. Go, whatever the fuck you want. We got it, dude. We got barbecue, pickled dicks. Let's go. We got eggs, cheese, milk. You could buy a house.

• 1:13:29Joe Rogan?

  Buy a fucking sled. What do you need? Fishing poles?

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  You need a, you need a hamburger, what else?

• 1:13:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you need a Yeti cooler and a Traeger grill. We got those.

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  We got a shower in a bag if you want a shower.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  They're making a Disney Buc-E's and it's gonna have rides in it.

• 1:13:42Joe Rogan?

  You know, there's a lawsuit going on with Buc-E's. There's a, they're claiming that these people copied their logo.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  Which one, the?

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Chuck E's?

• 1:13:49Joe Rogan?

  No, there's another spot that has like another kind of an animal.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, they do that with all, that's knock off, they knock off, and that wherever that is, they knock off all sorts of stories. I'll try to find that.

• 1:13:59Joe Rogan?

  Is it in another country?

• 1:14:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so.

• 1:14:01Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I thought it was in America.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's in Mexico.

• 1:14:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, interesting. Oh, Mexico loves to do that.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Cause there's a fake.

• 1:14:08Joe Rogan?

  I've seen that. No, no, no, I've seen that. That's not it though. That's the, that's the fake Buc-E's in Mexico. Put that picture up again. Put that picture up again.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  So there's a fake In-N-Out in Mexico too?

• 1:14:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's so funny, man.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  And there's a fake In-N-Out in California too.

• 1:14:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I've seen the fake In-N-Out in Mexico. There's a fake one in California?

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's called Easy Takeout and I think they used to be, they, they, same, same uniforms, same stand, same burgers, but they, they just added a breakfast burger. It's called Easy Takeout in West Covina.

• 1:14:42Joe Rogan?

  Wow, so they copied the, the logo?

• 1:14:45Speaker 02

  It's very similar here. They're, that's Lucky's. But this is what the lawsuit's about. Same city, Temple, Lupus, Mexico.

• 1:14:52Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, they even got a little gap in between it. Buc-E's knockout, Lucky spotted.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  He's lucky to have two teeth.

• 1:14:59Joe Rogan?

  But that's the one in Mexico, right, Jamie?

• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  They both, I told you, they both are.

• 1:15:02Joe Rogan?

  But I don't think this other one is in Mexico. I might be wrong.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  Month ago, two months ago, Buc-E's taking legal action against Mexican companies.

• 1:15:10Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 1:15:11Speaker 02

  It's the one that I came up, I like, I was looking a little further.

• 1:15:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, what was that animal? That was like a, he, the Buc-E's is a beaver, right? So what was that other animal? What was the Lucky? Who's Lucky? Is Lucky a rabbit? Like, what is Lucky?

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  Lucky's also a beaver.

• 1:15:26Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:15:27Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, we have, he has a pompadour though, right?

• 1:15:30Joe Rogan?

  Where's Lucky's?

• 1:15:34Joe Rogan?

  What a bunch of dumbasses. Oh my god, it is a beaver. What is it?

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  He wearing a suit. Oh, he's a raccoon.

• 1:15:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's a raccoon. Oh, okay.

• 1:15:44Joe Rogan?

  No, you can't do that.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  He has a mask, man. He's a bandito.

• 1:15:47Joe Rogan?

  Why can't you do that, though? Why can't you have Harry's? Or how about Georges and have Curious George? They're good, you know? Get together, little franchise.

• 1:15:58Joe Rogan?

  Curious George, everybody loves Curious George. Would that be okay? Like if they have Georges, would they get sued?

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  They have a different lawsuit, let's see.

• 1:16:06Joe Rogan?

  There is a different lawsuit.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  Superfuels trademark infringement, let me see.

• 1:16:11Joe Rogan?

  Cause you imagine if like the owners, whoever owns the-

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, this is even, this is a little-

• 1:16:15Joe Rogan?

  Whoa!

• 1:16:16Speaker 02

  Cause it's like a-

• 1:16:17Joe Rogan?

  I think that's the one I saw, Superfuels. So there's, it's just, they're saying it's because it's got a smiling animal.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  And the red hat.

• 1:16:26Joe Rogan?

  See, I don't know, I'm not on board with that one.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  I'm trying to see what they're trying to-

• 1:16:30Joe Rogan?

  I'm not on board with that one. I ca- I can't think that you could own the idea of having any kind of cute animal as a part of your logo. That seems kind of ridiculous. I don't understand copyright law, but doesn't that seem like a little ridiculous to you?

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Joe Rogan?

  Like what if it's a, what if it's a cat and you make it kitties? And you have a cute little cat. Are you telling me that I can't make a business called kitties?

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  That depends where you're, where you're doing business at and how, how much of a copyright you have, kinda like, is it nationwide? Did you have an international copyright, which is really tough?

• 1:17:03Joe Rogan?

  Right, but is that a copyright infringement if you have kitties?

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  It depends on what, if, if you're not doing the same business.

• 1:17:09Joe Rogan?

  Imagine someone has a copyright to the ability, I don't understand any of this stuff, so I'm, clearly I'm talking out of my ass. But imagine if somebody has a copyright to just owning the ability to use a cartoon character in your logo. That seems completely insane, doesn't it?

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. But the, um, what's his name, um, this is comedy club and, um, Tommy Tease, he used to have the Laurel and Hardy, the, the, the, what you call it, the Laurel and Hardy logos?

• 1:17:38Joe Rogan?

  Laurel and Hardy?

• 1:17:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like, yeah, and, um, for his comedy club.

• 1:17:42Joe Rogan?

  Oh no.

• 1:17:43Speaker 01

  He got sued by, um, Bozo the Clown. He owned the-

• 1:17:48Joe Rogan?

  Bozo owned Laurel and Hardy?

• 1:17:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, the, the, the, the cartoon, any, anything that you put cartoon on it with Laurel and Hardy's face.

• 1:17:56Joe Rogan?

  Imagine going back, watching Laurel and Hardy, imagine showing somebody that had no idea about American culture at all.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:18:04Joe Rogan?

  Going back and you show them Laurel and Hardy, and then right after, you show them Chappelle's Show when Dave plays the blind white supremacist that's black?

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, that guy.

• 1:18:16Joe Rogan?

  But imagine, imagine seeing, like what, this is what comedy started out as, and this is comedy later. That is a wild ride.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  Yes, man.

• 1:18:29Joe Rogan?

  That's a wild ride. The ride from like Abbott and Costello.

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:18:34Joe Rogan?

  Who's on first?

• 1:18:35Speaker 01

  Who's on for Eddie Cantor, bro?

• 1:18:37Joe Rogan?

  Who's Eddie Cantor?

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  Eddie Cantor was the first comedian to do radio. And, um, and, um, he was, uh, cause I have a history for Fools Podcast, so I learned about the, the, the history of stand-up comedy. Plus, I read that, I watched the documentary, but he was one of the first guys, but he was, he was very clean, bro. He sang and, um...

• 1:18:58Joe Rogan?

  Can we hear some of this? Hear some of this.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  He was getting paid $500 for five-minute shows on radio.

• 1:19:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, Eddie Cantor. He was the first guy to have a radio comedy show.

• 1:19:20Joe Rogan?

  What is, I'm trying to hear what he's saying. What is he saying?

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  He's singing.

• 1:19:24Joe Rogan?

  Some volatile nonsense.

• 1:19:39Joe Rogan?

  The dumb ones know how to make love?

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:41Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ. The dumb ones know how to make love. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card, it gives you 5% cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high.

• 1:20:25Joe Rogan?

  It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com/rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank, banking services and Chime card, provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for more details.

• 1:20:47Joe Rogan?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Look, it's good to prepare for the future, but when you start over analyzing what's happening around you, dreaming up every hypothetical situation of what could happen, that's when it gets dangerous. You can start to hyper-fixate and stress out and all over things that haven't even happened. That's no good for current you or future you. If you're struggling to stay in the present and out of your head, try talking with a quality therapist from BetterHelp. They have psychologists, family therapists, marriage counselors, social workers, and more.

• 1:21:27Joe Rogan?

  Whatever you need to work through, BetterHelp can match you with a seasoned professional with the specialty that you need. BetterHelp is now a network with more than 125 health plans with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com. That's better H E L P dot com. That sounds like something Theo would say onstage.

• 1:22:00Speaker 01

  And um.

• 1:22:01Joe Rogan?

  I like him dumb.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  He'll be on the radio, bro, talking, and then he'll pinch the chicks in their butts.

• 1:22:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, God.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then like, they wouldn't say nothing, and then finally a woman says, "Mr. Cantor." And he had it fired.

• 1:22:16Joe Rogan?

  Hmm. Well, gotta remember, like, people back then were basically barbarians.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:24Joe Rogan?

  1920s people.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  Bro, back then it was.

• 1:22:26Joe Rogan?

  It's World War I, bro.

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  Back then, for a stand-up comedian, like, what I found out was, imagine you do a gig, $200 back then, right? And the promoter says, "I'm not gonna, the gangsters, I'm not gonna pay you." And if you don't get paid, and then he'll call the cops. You had a couple of, three vagrants walking around downtown, and then your three comedians walking around town with no hotel.

• 1:22:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:47Speaker 01

  No pay, and they're gonna pick you up for being a hobo now.

• 1:22:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you could get stiffed, for sure.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  But that was back then, bro.

• 1:22:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:55Speaker 01

  It was a hard time. Imagine from then to now.

• 1:22:58Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think there's probably still a lot of shit gigs like that out there for a lot of guys that are coming up. But it's just now there's more real gigs.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, better gigs.

• 1:23:08Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's uh, comedy's more accessible, you know, because of YouTube and everything. Comedy's just way, it's everywhere, you know, like your special. Wow, tell everybody.

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  Oh, I have a special right now.

• 1:23:19Joe Rogan?

  What a segue.

• 1:23:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have a special right now on Netflix, Raging Fool. We shot it at the Crest Theater in Sacramento, two shows, my wife directed it and executive produced. She executive produced all my specials. But um, uh, we shot it with our own money. And we paid everybody and then we, we, we sold it to Netflix. We made like a two-year deal.

• 1:23:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  So we own that.

• 1:23:42Joe Rogan?

  You look great. I like the, love the tracksuit.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  Yes, because I'm raging bull, because raging fool. Because I'm raging bull.

• 1:23:49Joe Rogan?

  I love the tracksuit. It's dope.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Because I was watching that movie Raging Bull.

• 1:23:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:53Speaker 01

  And I was thinking that uh, when Jake LaMotta had nothing left to do in his life, he had nothing, how to make money.

• 1:24:00Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  He said, you know what? I'm gonna be a comedian. So, and I thought like, wow. He had nothing else to do with his life, so he figured out that I'm gonna do stand-up comedy. Because that was the last thing, and for us, it's like the first thing.

• 1:24:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, that happens with actors sometimes too, when their careers kind of dwindle, they start doing stand-up. That happens.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  And he had like, he, when he was, you saw the movie, right, Raging Bull, when he was doing stand-up? And um, he's at the, he's at a bar called um, Jimmy's Corner Bar. And that bar's still there.

• 1:24:31Joe Rogan?

  You know, Stan Hope was friends with him.

• 1:24:33Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:24:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, because the guy, that guy lived down in Arizona, where Stan Hope lived.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool, man.

• 1:24:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's like, got photos of him hanging out over his house and shit, yeah. Yeah, Jake LaMotta was Stan Hope's boy. And that's a real story, man. Jake LaMotta was a character.

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:48Joe Rogan?

  That was a wild fella. A wild, crazy fella. And goddamn Robert De Niro, narrow, fucking nailed it.

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  Nailed it, huh?

• 1:24:56Joe Rogan?

  Nailed it. I mean, nailed it. Like, he looked like an animal when he was Jake LaMotta, like the younger Jake LaMotta.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Did you fuck my wife?

• 1:25:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, oh, Jesus Christ, he was so scary. He was so scary because he was just out of his fucking mind and so dangerous. And it was based on a real guy, man. I mean, I mean, the, the movie is real close to how that guy was, Jake LaMotta, when he was in his prime. He was a fucking monster, man.

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  I like when he looked at his hands. And he goes, he don't like his hands, cause they're not, they're not big, I guess, he goes, I can never be a heavyweight.

• 1:25:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, isn't that crazy?

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 1:25:37Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy. That's a different kinda human, man. And back then, there, there was a lot of people like that. This is, you gotta go back and put your mind into what it must have been like to be Jake LaMotta, growing up and like, what? So what, what year was Jake in his prime? What year did he fight Sugar Ray Robinson? Let's ask that. Jake LaMotta versus Sugar Ray Robinson?

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  Sixty-two, fifty-nine?

• 1:26:04Joe Rogan?

  Forty-two. Forty-two, okay? Madison Square Garden, nineteen forty-two. So you gotta imagine, you gotta just put your mind into the type of people that lived back then. I mean, the, the, like, cars were new, sewage was new. Like, people had been coming over in boats. Crim- criminals were everywhere. Crime was everywhere. Organized crime was the, the rule of the law in all the Italian communities, the Irish communities. You know, that was the thing.

• 1:26:33Speaker 01

  Forty-two, wow.

• 1:26:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, this was just, United States, it's like, you ever watched that movie, uh, Gangs of New York?

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:26:41Joe Rogan?

  Fucking great movie, right? That's a fucking great movie, and probably, pretty accurate.

• 1:26:48Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:26:48Joe Rogan?

  Roughly, pretty accurate, the way life was back then.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  Some of those gangsters that were in that movie were actually real people.

• 1:26:55Joe Rogan?

  I believe it.

• 1:26:56Speaker 01

  Like that woman in that movie, I think you talked about it, the one who had to collect ears and put them in a jar?

• 1:27:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, she was an actual wa- a real person. She had a bar where people, where people would just put, have a jar full of, um, pickled ears and noses from period fights.

• 1:27:13Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 1:27:16Speaker 01

  And they'll have fights in the back with a mongoose fighting a dog.

• 1:27:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 1:27:22Joe Rogan?

  Gangs of New York, man. That movie is so, because we don't think of New York that way. You think of New York as like New York City, well, it was kinda dangerous in the seventies and then, you know, Giuliani cleaned it up and then, you know, it's pretty commercialized in a lot of ways, but still a beautiful city. But New York during the time of that, when, whenever that film was supposed to represent, was a wild, crazy, almost like Wild West type place. Like, we think of Wild, we think of those kinda scenes when you think of a Wild West movie, right? Right, you think-

• 1:27:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, the good, bad and the ugly.

• 1:27:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you think of people getting stabbed and shot and, but that was happening over there too. It's like, it's not like, it's not like it never happened on the east coast and they only did it on the west coast.

• 1:28:03Speaker 01

  On people.

• 1:28:04Joe Rogan?

  It was happening in the whole country, the whole, and they, they had just gotten, I mean, th- these people had just gotten done with a fucking civil war, right?

• 1:28:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:13Joe Rogan?

  Cause back then, you gotta think, nineteen forty, you go to the like, the eighteen sixties to the nineteen forties, that's not that much time.

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 1:28:23Joe Rogan?

  That's pretty quick, that's eighty years.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  Eighty years.

• 1:28:26Joe Rogan?

  A lot of those fuckers are still alive.

• 1:28:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Same mentality, same craziness.

• 1:28:30Joe Rogan?

  And then you got more immigrants coming in on boats, no YouTube to watch, just a, a women of prayer, someone told them to come.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  I always think about that man like when the, when the-

• 1:28:39Joe Rogan?

  Jesus.

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  Always, yeah, her.

• 1:28:41Speaker 02

  She supposedly was real.

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  She was Maggie, Hellcat Maggie.

• 1:28:44Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:28:45Speaker 01

  I think about, uh, the, when the, the Irish are coming in at the same time as the, when that, that movie happening, and they told them, "You want a free meal? You wanna fight for your country?" And they give them a uniform and their families go off to New York and they go off to fight the South.

• 1:29:02Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Just imagine coming out of the boat and somebody just has you a gun and a piece of bread and go, "Go fight for America." And I think about that, like, why are them hardcore people out there, man?

• 1:29:11Joe Rogan?

  You want, yeah, yeah, yeah, hardcore people.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Different times, man.

• 1:29:16Joe Rogan?

  Desperate.

• 1:29:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then people look old, older then than they do now.

• 1:29:20Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah, they look old quick.

• 1:29:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you look at a person's photo and you go, "How old is that kid? He looks like seventy." "Oh, that's a twenty-five-year-old kid working a coal mine."

• 1:29:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Working in coal mines, those people all got sick, they all got fucked up. I mean, that's environmental pollution that you're signing up for, like, you're gonna go breathe coal dust no matter what. Yeah, everyone gets, they all get horrible fucking- That what is that, black lung?

• 1:29:43Speaker 01

  Black lung.

• 1:29:44Joe Rogan?

  That's terrifying, terrifying. And then you've got people that just live around coal plants. And they're breathing that shit and they don't even, they're not even a part of that business.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  I know, man. Like Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania.

• 1:29:57Joe Rogan?

  Bro, there's a place that we showed a video once. It was, uh, was it Indiana, Jamie? Yeah? So there's like three coal plants near this city and these people, they can wipe their windshield and they have black soot on their fingers.

• 1:30:12Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 1:30:12Joe Rogan?

  It just falls from the sky. Yeah, it's in America. So these people are for sure breathing that shit in.

• 1:30:17Speaker 01

  From Pittsburgh?

• 1:30:18Joe Rogan?

  Indiana.

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  Oh, Indiana.

• 1:30:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. That's scary. That's scary. And, and that's a fraction of what's going on in China, bro.

• 1:30:27Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, cuz when I was, um, I was in, um, I was in Seattle and I was waiting, I was crossing the, waiting for the car to pass. I was going to my show and I saw a, it was like a two, a mile train and it was all coal. Coal, real black coal coming from Minnesota. And I asked the cop that was standing there. I go, I didn't know we still mined coal. And he goes, well, we, we, we don't use it, but, uh, it's all going to China.

• 1:30:54Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:30:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, like it was like a mile, bro, of coal and, um, and it had no cover on it.

• 1:31:01Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  And it was just falling off. They say that, um, I don't know how much coal flies. I don't know shit about coal. But I just know what the guy told me. There was a mile train of coal coming from Minnesota on that one line. And there was a boat. I can see the boat where, where it was going.

• 1:31:17Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:31:19Joe Rogan?

  And it's all going to China.

• 1:31:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they're full steam ahead with coal.

• 1:31:24Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 1:31:25Joe Rogan?

  Someone should check to see if maybe they know something we don't.

• 1:31:28Speaker 01

  I know, man. What are they producing all that coal?

• 1:31:32Joe Rogan?

  They're doing a lot. I mean, they produce so many of the things that we need, which is one of the craziest things that we all found out when everything got locked down is you couldn't get anything cuz so much of what you wanted was made in China. Like, oh, my God, or made in Russia, or made in anywhere where they had to come in on a ship. You know, like that became a real fucking problem.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  I thought it was made in Akron, Ohio.

• 1:31:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they hardly make shit here. In comparison to what we consume, we consume way more, probably, I would guess, than any country of a similar size. And, yo, dog.

• 1:32:06Joe Rogan?

  Still rocking the Samsung. I love it. I love when a comic holds out and doesn't go iPhone.

• 1:32:12Speaker 01

  Oh, no, man. I like there's a bigger phone. And a little pen.

• 1:32:15Joe Rogan?

  You like the pen.

• 1:32:16Speaker 01

  I love the pen.

• 1:32:17Joe Rogan?

  You're one of those guys. Which one is that?

• 1:32:19Speaker 01

  The.

• 1:32:22Joe Rogan?

  Is that the S24?

• 1:32:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, that one. That one.

• 1:32:24Joe Rogan?

  S24 Ultra?

• 1:32:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:32:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Is that the newest one or the one right before?

• 1:32:28Speaker 01

  Right before it.

• 1:32:28Joe Rogan?

  There's a new one that just came out. It's pretty dope, dude.

• 1:32:31Speaker 01

  A year and a half ago, I think.

• 1:32:33Joe Rogan?

  No, yeah, that's the old one. That's the S24 Ultra. I have that one. That one's sick. It does a lot of cool shit.

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  Good videos, right?

• 1:32:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's great. Great at a lot of stuff, but what the interesting thing is the AI. So what I like about it is I can go to a website and if I open it up in the Samsung browser and then I'll, I can say summarize. And it'll summarize the website for me.

• 1:32:54Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:32:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so if there's something that's taking forever for you to get to the point because you want me to keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and strolling while you show ads all over the place, that's a trap. So it'll just tell you, oh, there's an asteroid that might hit Earth within the next, you know, fucking sixty years. Like, oh, great. There's a three percent. What is the percent chance?

• 1:33:14Speaker 02

  Down to one point five today.

• 1:33:16Joe Rogan?

  Thank God.

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  Usually.

• 1:33:17Joe Rogan?

  Only one point five percent?

• 1:33:18Speaker 01

  I think I'd take a pictures like, I could take a picture of you, right? And then do that one screen.

• 1:33:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  And then I circle it and it'll find a sweater for me.

• 1:33:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:28Joe Rogan?

  That's really cool. That's a, I think that's available on all phones now. I think the new iPhone update has that as well, where you can Google search a thing and it'll show you where to buy it.

• 1:33:37Speaker 01

  That, that's what my wife, my wife always wanted. She wanted like to have it where you're watching television and you pause it with your finger and make a circle and then it, it just shifts to your house.

• 1:33:48Joe Rogan?

  You know when people are gonna be fed up with that thing? When, um, first of all,

• 1:33:56Joe Rogan?

  you can only buy so much shit. But second of all, like what, what happens, like you know those, those glasses that they wear now, those meta glasses? Have you seen this Harvard kid?

• 1:34:06Speaker 01

  The one that you could record now? I guess I've seen those.

• 1:34:08Joe Rogan?

  Some Harvard kid figured out how to use facial recognition software with that. So he sees you, gets a photo of you, immediately gets a Wikipedia on you or whatever the fuck is available online, sees your Instagram page, finds your address. And it was wild. You're like, wait, hit the brakes.

• 1:34:28Speaker 01

  Sound like the T1000 Terminator.

• 1:34:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's like hit the brakes. Hit the brakes. But I don't think they can.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  Was there a movie like that?

• 1:34:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's been a bunch of movies.

• 1:34:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, Roddy Piper was like that, wasn't he?

• 1:34:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh, They Live.

• 1:34:42Speaker 01

  They live!

• 1:34:43Joe Rogan?

  Glasses, right? But that was aliens.

• 1:34:46Speaker 01

  I think about that, when you have a guess, and go, "Wait a minute, he's talking about those glasses from Roddy Piper?"

• 1:34:52Joe Rogan?

  Similar. I think the Roddy Piper glasses, you put them on, you could see what everybody really looked like. You could see through the whatever energy field they were projecting. There's these alien creatures that were pretending to be people. And there's a lot of people that believe that now. I'm less inclined to believe that, but I'm open. I wouldn't want to get tricked. I mean, if there really are people that are actually aliens that are amongst us, that look like people and behave like people.

• 1:35:20Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:35:21Joe Rogan?

  This is the guy who figured it out? Yeah, this is the guy. Try to say his name, Felipe, hit me with it.

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:35:29Joe Rogan?

  What's the first one? Right there, try that.

• 1:35:32Speaker 01

  Oh, it's, um...

• 1:35:35Speaker 01

  It's Anphu Nguyen.

• 1:35:38Joe Rogan?

  I think, uh...

• 1:35:38Speaker 01

  And Kayen Ardoflo.

• 1:35:39Joe Rogan?

  I don't think they say Nguyen, I think they say Gwyn, right? Because there's been a few fighters in the UFC, Vietnamese fighters, that have that same spelling. And I think they say it as... Can you find out how they say it, Jamie?

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  So it's Anphu Gwyn, okay, I can see it. Little Dutch there.

• 1:35:59Joe Rogan?

  And Kane Ardofio, Ardofio? Ardofio. Um, so they figured out how to do this.

• 1:36:07Speaker 01

  He's making up names now.

• 1:36:08Joe Rogan?

  No, this is a real name, man.

• 1:36:12Joe Rogan?

  Anybody can do it.

• 1:36:13Speaker 01

  My name is...

• 1:36:14Joe Rogan?

  Whoa! But can you scroll so we can explain? I mean, do you want to? How it's possible to do it today, how to remove your information, oh geez. Literally, like the instructions. So it's just showing how to remove your face from face search engines, which you're not going to be able to do eventually.

• 1:36:32Joe Rogan?

  I know how chaotic things get this time of the year between all the holidays, trying to train and last minute projects at work. It could seem impossible to get everything done. If you feel like you're running on fumes, AG1 Next Gen is an easy way to get the support that you need with over 75 ingredients and five clinically studied probiotic strains. It supports your energy and your immune health, among other things. And for extra boost, there's AG1 Pro and that has the same Next Gen formula, but with five grams of creatine, CAHMB and zinc carnecine. Plus, both are NSF certified

• 1:37:16Joe Rogan?

  for sports. So you can feel good about what you're putting into your body, no matter how busy things get. Go to drinkag1.com/joe and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D tossed in with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro, backed by a 90-day money-back guarantee. That's drinkag1.com/joe. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week, there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something

• 1:38:01Joe Rogan?

  the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, et cetera. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off. Go to armra.com/rogan.

• 1:38:24Joe Rogan?

  It's getting weird out there.

• 1:38:25Speaker 01

  I'm a walk.

• 1:38:26Joe Rogan?

  Remember flip phones, bro?

• 1:38:27Speaker 01

  I'm a walk crow, though. Is it a black face, green face, bro?

• 1:38:29Joe Rogan?

  I had a friend of mine who came in here the other day and he's down to a flip phone. And his flip phone was interesting because it has Android on it. His flip phone, you could actually get text messages on it and you have a little tiny ass screen on the flip phone where you can kind of clumsily type your way through a sentence. So you don't have to do it with like a full keyboard like an iPhone or your phone. But you also, it's inconvenient, so you don't text as much. You don't go on these long-winded diatribes like a lot of people do. It's just real simple.

• 1:38:58Speaker 01

  The whole screen is on there, but you gotta navigate all the way around to read everything?

• 1:39:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:03Speaker 01

  I remember those.

• 1:39:03Joe Rogan?

  It's a tiny little ass screen.

• 1:39:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:06Joe Rogan?

  It's got regular buttons to make phone calls. And then on his little tiny ass screen, it's a tiny ass keyboard about that big. And you get in there with that tiny ass keyboard and you try to type a text message and then you can push send. And so it's inconvenient. So you don't go on Twitter, you don't check things out, you just get your text messages. It can do other stuff if you absolutely fucking need it to. But live your life, bitch. And he was in here with that. I was like, man, that seems cool, but I like watching YouTube on my phone, so I don't know what to tell you.

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  That sounds like the Larry Bubbles Brown from San Francisco.

• 1:39:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:39Speaker 01

  He still has the flip phone.

• 1:39:40Joe Rogan?

  David Tell.

• 1:39:41Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:39:42Joe Rogan?

  David Tell has a flip phone. Yeah, you should see him text messages. It's hilarious.

• 1:39:45Speaker 01

  Do they both have the original phone numbers when you first met them?

• 1:39:48Joe Rogan?

  No, no, they've all changed the numbers. You have to change every now and then. It's, you know, you gotta purge. Gotta keep moving.

• 1:39:56Speaker 01

  I think I still, I still have my same phone number for the last twenty years.

• 1:40:02Joe Rogan?

  Damn, one of those dudes will hold out.

• 1:40:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, sometimes that's good. But it gets annoying sometimes. You know, it's all in, um, you gotta manage your time.

• 1:40:14Speaker 01

  You change your phone number a lot?

• 1:40:16Joe Rogan?

  Nice people. People I trust. You gotta man, you gotta manage your time.

• 1:40:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:21Joe Rogan?

  Like in it. The thing is about a guy like you is like you're headlining, you're on the road, dudes want to open up for you. You got the Netflix special, they want to hang out with you. It's like you gotta manage your time because you can't give your time away to everybody. Like there's a certain amount of time you need for yourself. If you don't have that time and need for yourself, you go off the rails.

• 1:40:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:38Joe Rogan?

  You gotta, you gotta take time to re-center all the time, all the time. And if you're constantly getting this and that and that and that and that, you're constantly interacting, you're never alone, you never.

• 1:40:48Speaker 01

  Fighting with people.

• 1:40:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. I like, I get in a sauna and I stretch out every day. I get down there, I fucking stretch everything out. When you're doing that, you can't do anything else. You can't be scrolling on TikTok when you stretch and everything out. You gotta just go through your routine and then that clears my mind. And I feel like if you don't make room for that, you're gonna fuck your life up. And I know that there's only so many people that I can entertain and help with stuff. There's only so many, there's so many people that are just, it's a transactional kind of a conversation you're having with them. It's not fun. It's not like, what's up dude? Hey, what's up? Those are great.

• 1:41:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:28Joe Rogan?

  But then there's a lot of, could you do this? Would you do that? Will you fly to here and do, and you're like, hey.

• 1:41:37Speaker 01

  Enough.

• 1:41:38Joe Rogan?

  You know? So you gotta like know when to change your number.

• 1:41:41Speaker 01

  What time you get up?

• 1:41:43Joe Rogan?

  It depends. Most days eight. I was up at eight.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  Eight is good. I tell, I tell you the story like, my bro, I get up at five every day.

• 1:41:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't think that's necessary. There's a thing like people will always want to do where they want to show themselves that they have the discipline to get up. I respect that. Like Jaco does that. You know Jaco Willink?

• 1:42:03Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:42:04Joe Rogan?

  Know who he is? Jaco is a, he's amazing dude. He's a former Navy SEAL, um, who, uh, is like one of the most inspirational guys I know. And he writes books on leadership, just brilliant guy, has an excellent podcast, solid dude, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt. And he like, every morning he takes a photo of his watch that says four 30 a.m.

• 1:42:30Speaker 01

  I've seen that guy.

• 1:42:31Joe Rogan?

  This is, this is, he's every morning when he's waking up, you get his shitty Iron Man. I shouldn't say shitty because they're fucking durable as fuck.

• 1:42:38Speaker 01

  I have seen him.

• 1:42:39Joe Rogan?

  Little Iron Man triathlon watches. Oh, it looks like you got a new watch.

• 1:42:43Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:42:44Joe Rogan?

  That's a new watch, Jaco. You can't fool me. I know your old watch. Go back to the old watch pictures. Look, so it's every day, four thirty. His fucking watch, sometimes four fourteen, takes a photo of it and then he works out.

• 1:42:56Joe Rogan?

  He's just a legit dude.

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  Wow, that's, that's dedication.

• 1:42:59Joe Rogan?

  So that's him, though. He likes doing that. He likes doing that. Um, but he's not a comedian, you know what I'm saying? I think like for a comedian, you can't be that rigid. You, you'll get a little psychotic. You can't be that rigid. You gotta have discipline, but you also gotta have fun. You gotta, so I don't get up at four thirty, fuck out of here. First of all, I'm up until at least midnight, almost every night.

• 1:43:24Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 1:43:24Joe Rogan?

  I get like most of my best like writing done and my best ideas when everyone in the house is asleep. So when everyone in my house is asleep and I'm up, I like that. Cause I'm like, oh, cool. Everybody, I don't need, nobody needs my attention. Now I can concentrate and I get my, I can't concentrate when people are in the house. I feel like I should be hanging out and having fun and being with everybody. I don't wanna lock myself up in my office, but that's the only way to write. But the, for me, it's like late at night is where it's at, cause everybody's asleep and the world feels creepy. You know, at night, the world feels kinda dangerous and fucked up and stupid. It's like, you know, you, when you worry about war in the middle of the night, it's like one o'clock in the morning.

• 1:44:06Joe Rogan?

  You're in front of your computer, you're writing something on Microsoft Word, you're genuinely worried about war.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:11Joe Rogan?

  Genuinely worried that decisions that people are making in this country are gonna one day come down on us with holy terror. One day, just in the middle of the city, just boom, some fucking thermonuclear device that levels a place four times the size of Hiroshima instantaneously. I think about that kinda shit late at night.

• 1:44:36Speaker 01

  And you do, right? How do you make that funny?

• 1:44:38Joe Rogan?

  I don't, sometimes.

• 1:44:43Joe Rogan?

  Some of it's not funny, but you, there's funny things attached to it. There's funny things attached to the, just the way we behave. It's not real, there's nothing funny about the potential for complete annihilation of the human race. But there is something funny about this desire that we have to keep doing the same things we've always done and hope that somehow or another we get it right this time.

• 1:45:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:08Joe Rogan?

  We're on the verge of war all the time and there's gotta be some way to stop that other than funding more war. There's gotta be a better way to stop that.

• 1:45:16Speaker 01

  That's funny you said the wor- the verge of war and um

• 1:45:22Speaker 01

  when you, when you first started doing stand-up comedy, how many, there's been a lot of verges of real wars, huh?

• 1:45:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, the first war when I was, um, so when was Desert Storm? Was that nineteen?

• 1:45:35Speaker 01

  Desert Storm, Desert Shield.

• 1:45:37Joe Rogan?

  Which one was which? We had this conversation the other day.

• 1:45:40Speaker 01

  Desert Shield was, was Norman Schwarzkopf.

• 1:45:43Joe Rogan?

  So that's Iraq and that's like 2003?

• 1:45:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:47Joe Rogan?

  Right, um, the one I'm talking about is Desert Storm, which was like 1990? Was it 1990, Jamie?

• 1:45:56Speaker 02

  No, they're not the exact same, but it says they're the same, so.

• 1:46:00Speaker 01

  They're the same?

• 1:46:01Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, but the first invasion before we pulled out with George W. Bush in Iraq?

• 1:46:07Speaker 02

  Iraq invaded Kuwait on August 20th, 1990.

• 1:46:10Speaker 01

  Yes, I remember that one, yes.

• 1:46:11Joe Rogan?

  Okay, so when Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, then we went to war with Iraq. And I was living with my friend Jimmy and we were sitting, Jimmy DiTilio, shout out to Jimmy. We were sitting in, uh, our apartment in the living room. And the war was on TV and we're like, holy shit, man, we're at war. I remember thinking, this can't even be real.

• 1:46:33Speaker 01

  It just happened at night, right? We started watching those, the air raids?

• 1:46:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, it started as Desert Shield and then, then when we started going after, like, Ham was Desert Storm.

• 1:46:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:42Joe Rogan?

  And what year was that?

• 1:46:43Speaker 02

  Ninety, that's just like a year later, it's 91.

• 1:46:46Joe Rogan?

  So Desert Shield was to protect and Desert Storm was to destroy?

• 1:46:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was dropping off troops in defense.

• 1:46:51Joe Rogan?

  Bill Hicks had the best material about that, oh my god. His material about the war was great. They have such sophisticated weapons, how do you know? We got the receipts.

• 1:47:01Joe Rogan?

  We love to arm puppet dictators and then fuck them up, you know, it's like, you know, it's like Clint Eastwood movie, pick up the gun, you know, it's like Dirty Harry.

• 1:47:11Speaker 01

  I tell you, I know what you're thinking.

• 1:47:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:13Speaker 01

  Did I fire for her?

• 1:47:14Joe Rogan?

  Or tell you the truth, I kinda forgot myself.

• 1:47:18Speaker 01

  My favorite one is when the Unforgiven, man, when that guy's crying, could he kill somebody? He goes, that's what happened when you killed a man. You take away all he ever wanted and all he ever had.

• 1:47:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. That movie was the best, uh, western movie, I think, ever, like of that kinda Clint Eastwood genre, that was almost like he was coming back to update it, you know, because he had all the bangers, you know, Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Fistful of Dollars, like incredible.

• 1:47:51Speaker 01

  Outlaw Josie Wells.

• 1:47:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, oh, Outlaw Josie Wells was, that was another level too, but then it's like, Unforgiven was the one where it like really gave you a sense of what it must have been like living in the wild west. It was just the people were more real.

• 1:48:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:07Joe Rogan?

  It was like, it was more updated to like the movies of that era, like the Morgan Freeman character, it was a fucking great movie, man. It's a great like western movie and just a hard story, man.

• 1:48:18Speaker 01

  I like that line when they, when he goes in there to get those people that killed Morgan Freeman, you just shot an unknown man.

• 1:48:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:26Speaker 01

  He should have armed himself.

• 1:48:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  If he's gonna decorate his place with a friend of mine.

• 1:48:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that was a hardcore movie, man, that was a hardcore movie.

• 1:48:36Speaker 01

  You saw the, uh, the, um.

• 1:48:37Joe Rogan?

  But ain't it funny that we always wanna think about that kinda shit happening out west? We don't wanna believe that that kinda same shit was happening out east.

• 1:48:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:45Joe Rogan?

  There were animals everywhere, animals, animals, people were animals back then, they were barely human.

• 1:48:52Speaker 01

  Hang them high.

• 1:48:53Joe Rogan?

  Can you imagine if we had to do fucking stand up in 1820?

• 1:49:00Joe Rogan?

  You imagine, first of all, you're getting sick everywhere because there's no sewage. So everybody's just got shit in the streets. Everywhere you go, you're breathing shit fumes, you're stepping in shit everywhere.

• 1:49:10Speaker 01

  That's what I think about now, when I watch those movies now, like Gangs of New York.

• 1:49:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:14Speaker 01

  I would, I looked over at somebody, man, it fucking stinks.

• 1:49:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, bro.

• 1:49:18Speaker 01

  Out there, people are ignoring the fucking stink, there's a rotting body right there.

• 1:49:23Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it probably was so rank, they didn't have anywhere to get rid of their shit.

• 1:49:28Speaker 01

  And then, and then, the, the, um, that little napkin that they had on, you know, the, the big white wig people? They had like a little canker shift, but, and they would just carry it, bro, just to, and they would have perfume on it, they would put it in their nose so they wouldn't have to smell like

• 1:49:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:49:47Speaker 01

  the poor people.

• 1:49:48Joe Rogan?

  Well, it wasn't just that, man, it was the shit in the streets, because they didn't have cars, so they had horses. The horses would shit all over the roads.

• 1:49:54Speaker 01

  And nobody had a job picking it up yet.

• 1:49:56Joe Rogan?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:49:58Speaker 02

  One job was someone would just put down like a canker shift so you could walk over it.

• 1:50:01Joe Rogan?

  Oh. Just fucking clean it up, you lazy bitch.

• 1:50:08Speaker 01

  And throw in like shit water out of a, a, look at this.

• 1:50:13Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:50:14Joe Rogan?

  That's all shit. Imagine breathing that every day. There's no way that's good for you, you think scented candles are bad for you?

• 1:50:23Joe Rogan?

  Imagine, imagine the people that lived back then, hearing us complain about scented candles. Whoa. Poop once flowed freely in the streets of New York. Look, that was a poop pipe that would go right down the street, Jesus Christ.

• 1:50:40Speaker 01

  Oh man, when I was at my grandmother's house in Mexico, they, they, they still had an outhouse. To you, to, they have, they didn't have no plumbing.

• 1:50:47Joe Rogan?

  Bro, isn't it interesting, because this is a terrible way to live, that people insisted on doing it this way?

• 1:50:51Speaker 02

  I was thinking the day that they figured it out, you'd be like, oh my god, what the?

• 1:50:55Joe Rogan?

  But imagine, because you had to figure it out to get it to where it is now, right? So people had to go through that to get to the Manhattan of today, where it's all super sophisticated, amazing hotels, amazing restaurants. But, why would you stick around?

• 1:51:07Joe Rogan?

  If you're breathing in shit every day.

• 1:51:09Speaker 01

  Every day.

• 1:51:09Joe Rogan?

  You go live on a farm, I'd be like, fuck this experiment. This is terrible. This is not for us. This is for the benefit of people in the future. We're destroying.

• 1:51:17Speaker 01

  Soil men who carted away of America's waste.

• 1:51:20Joe Rogan?

  Bro, you know how sick people must have been back then? No antibiotics. Everybody's breathing in shit. You fall, you slip, you skin your knee, your knee gets infected with staph. You die.

• 1:51:30Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:51:31Joe Rogan?

  You got shit in your knee.

• 1:51:32Speaker 01

  Um, the, um.

• 1:51:33Speaker 02

  That's what it says.

• 1:51:34Speaker 01

  The.

• 1:51:34Joe Rogan?

  What'd it say?

• 1:51:35Speaker 02

  People were gagging as this cart would walk by.

• 1:51:37Joe Rogan?

  Oh, God.

• 1:51:39Speaker 01

  And just not pick up the gag, huh?

• 1:51:40Joe Rogan?

  On a summer day in 1873, a cart stood on Sixth Avenue in New York City, filled to the brink with raw human waste.

• 1:51:47Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:51:49Joe Rogan?

  The cart was uncovered, its contents exposed to the air and to the passersby who retched and gagged as they scurried away. Excrement dipped off the sides of the cart and the sidewalks and gutters were smeared with the stuff. The stench was so strong that it could be smelled from more than a block away. It was another day in pre-sewer America. Bro!

• 1:52:13Speaker 01

  Meanwhile, you're reading.

• 1:52:14Joe Rogan?

  And here's the thing, man, this is after the Civil War.

• 1:52:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:18Joe Rogan?

  This is 1873.

• 1:52:21Speaker 01

  And you're in Italy, reading books, talking about, "The streets are made of gold."

• 1:52:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, night soil. They call it night soil.

• 1:52:31Speaker 01

  Night soil.

• 1:52:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they used it for, um, fucking, I mean, they used it for compost, right?

• 1:52:38Speaker 01

  Oh, so just.

• 1:52:39Joe Rogan?

  It was the name euphemistically given to human waste because it was removed from the privies under the cloak of darkness so that polite society would be spared from confronting its own feces as the men carted the crap away, leaving a trail of stench in their wake. Every year in cities across the country, thousands of carts brimming with excrement rattled through the night streets. There was an antiquated solution to a modern problem. America's cities were full of crap. So the people were just throwing the shit in the streets.

• 1:53:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:53:08Speaker 02

  Oh, how much could those guys get paid?

• 1:53:10Joe Rogan?

  It's not possible. Shitty, they got paid shitty.

• 1:53:14Speaker 01

  What a shitty job.

• 1:53:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you imagine being at a bar?

• 1:53:19Speaker 01

  Look at them being.

• 1:53:23Joe Rogan?

  And barrels. Oh, you get a horse pulled wagon filled with shit. That is so crazy. So, living back then was hell, bro. We're so lucky. And that's how they're gonna look at us. These future beings that no longer have war, they no longer have greed or anger. These future beings that are connected to the hive mind, they're gonna look back at us like. They were living like idiots.

• 1:53:46Speaker 01

  They've got breasts, dunk, I bet.

• 1:53:48Joe Rogan?

  One of the dumping grounds was a field near the White House where a marsh of Wastonian waste putrefied under the president's nose. This suggests that this may have been a contributing factor to President Harris's untimely death in 1841, since the White House water source was a mere seven blocks downstream. Oh, my God, they killed the president with shit water. Oh, my God.

• 1:54:16Speaker 01

  He died of dysentery.

• 1:54:17Joe Rogan?

  Bro, this is why you can't trust that the experts are looking out for your health. They didn't even protect the president. Somebody concocted this idea and they never even thought about the potential for ruining all the water that people drink. They just said, "This is a good place to dump all this."

• 1:54:34Joe Rogan?

  How nasty. People are so nasty.

• 1:54:38Speaker 01

  Oh, man, I also think about, um.

• 1:54:40Joe Rogan?

  That's so nasty.

• 1:54:41Speaker 01

  And condos back there were probably still sheep's wool, right?

• 1:54:45Joe Rogan?

  Sheep's skin.

• 1:54:46Speaker 01

  Sheep's skin. I saw a movie where a woman, a guy, a woman was, she was washing the contraceptive.

• 1:54:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:55Speaker 01

  Right after this white wig guy threw it at her face.

• 1:54:59Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:55:00Speaker 01

  So, so she's using the same one for every man.

• 1:55:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:55:04Speaker 01

  Oh, Christ.

• 1:55:06Speaker 02

  So they didn't have, even by 1880s, two thirds of flushing toilets still just went into a backyard cesspool. Read this part here.

• 1:55:14Joe Rogan?

  Overflowing privy was a sight to behold in James McCabs 1882 account of New York's street life. He described one man's yard in which the privy's contents drained down into a street sewer, forming a miniature loathsome Niagara of night soil.

• 1:55:32Joe Rogan?

  The cascading sewage flowed right by the window so that a young, so that a man sitting on a chair at the window would not have to only, would not have only the odor, but also the views of this loathsome matter circulating at his feet in the pool below.

• 1:55:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, see, this is why everybody was so sick. This is.

• 1:55:53Speaker 01

  Probably started the plague.

• 1:55:54Joe Rogan?

  Well, also, like, there's no fucking, no one's clean.

• 1:55:59Speaker 02

  Cholera outbreak, 1849.

• 1:56:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they say that is the biggest breakthrough ever in the controlling of diseases.

• 1:56:11Joe Rogan?

  The biggest breakthrough is sanitation.

• 1:56:12Speaker 02

  I was just thinking about too.

• 1:56:13Joe Rogan?

  Healthy sanitation.

• 1:56:14Speaker 02

  Using these words dumping grounds in this time period too, this is the same time those bones were dumped in the East River with, who knows?

• 1:56:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's not enough vaccines in the world to protect you when you're living like that. You know? Imagine the pharmaceutical drug companies would try to sell you if you were living like that. And they figured out how to counteract all the different things that you're inhaling in the air from human shit.

• 1:56:36Speaker 01

  They're so nasty, man.

• 1:56:38Joe Rogan?

  So nasty.

• 1:56:39Speaker 01

  They're dumping bodies.

• 1:56:40Joe Rogan?

  Killed the president, bro.

• 1:56:43Speaker 01

  Well, imagine him getting up in the morning, waking up in the morning. Good morning, everybody!

• 1:56:49Joe Rogan?

  I'm glad you just said that about dumping bodies, because I, this is a thing I need to send you, Jamie. I'm so glad you brought that up, because I read this, and I don't want to fuck this up. I want to figure out what the fuck this actually means.

• 1:57:02Joe Rogan?

  Here, I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie. It's about liquid human remains.

• 1:57:08Speaker 01

  Liquid human remains?

• 1:57:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. So, with this article saying, whoa, it's like an Instagram thing.

• 1:57:17Joe Rogan?

  Uh, that being fed back to the population via fertilizer on crops? That?

• 1:57:23Speaker 01

  So he's making por sole with people?

• 1:57:25Joe Rogan?

  I hope, I hope it's not true.

• 1:57:27Speaker 01

  Making menudo with people, or what?

• 1:57:28Joe Rogan?

  I don't know, it sounds like they were using it for fertilizer, u- using people for fertilizer, and using people for supplements somehow or another, like, how they're saying you're boiling down a human body?

• 1:57:39Speaker 01

  Are they compensating the family?

• 1:57:41Joe Rogan?

  I don't know, but also, there's, there's no DNA, so what did you need the body for? Like, I don't know, the whole body's DNA, like, what are you saying? There's no DNA, so what did you, you broke it down to chemicals, so now it's okay? So you broke the human body, the, the container of a soul, down to chemicals, and you're gonna pour it on your flowers, and that's okay? That seems weird.

• 1:58:01Speaker 01

  No, it sounds made up.

• 1:58:02Joe Rogan?

  It seems weird, like, what do you, how the fuck, we should find out how the fuck they do it. Is there a video we can watch on them doing it?

• 1:58:09Speaker 01

  What kind of, and how they liquefy them, with hot water?

• 1:58:12Joe Rogan?

  It said hot water and, and something else, they added some other stuff, too.

• 1:58:18Joe Rogan?

  But whatever, man, what do we, what the fu- is this it?

• 1:58:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, the most eco, let's, let's listen to this. Can we? No.

• 1:58:28Speaker 01

  Do they put them in there alive?

• 1:58:30Joe Rogan?

  No, Felipe, these are dead bodies, they're just cooking them. Cooking them up nice. And that's what they get, like, little bones and pieces?

• 1:58:40Speaker 01

  Well, I wanna be cremated, but if that's an option...

• 1:58:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you don't want your body being resold as fertilizer. It's just weird to pour dead people on top of your fucking carrots, so they grow better.

• 1:58:55Speaker 01

  Sprinkle me.

• 1:58:58Joe Rogan?

  What are they breaking it down to? What are they breaking the human body down to that's valuable for them to do that? Like, what is the stuff they're looking for? Let's find that out. First of all, we don't even know if it's true.

• 1:59:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I don't, I wouldn't take that as truth, I wouldn't even believe that, how would they, how would this?

• 1:59:13Joe Rogan?

  Can you Google and see if there's other stories that say that? Okay, I'm not pushing you.

• 1:59:19Speaker 02

  I gotta read.

• 1:59:20Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I understand. Whatever it is, it seems like, you're supposed to leave people alone when they're dead, okay? We're supposed to be different than everything else on the planet, we love each other more than we love anything else. You can use monkeys for experiments, but...

• 1:59:32Speaker 02

  Some states allow the remaining liquid with its peptides, sugars, amino acids, and captured carbon to be reclaimed and repurposed as fertilizer.

• 1:59:41Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 1:59:43Joe Rogan?

  Yo. They're turning, do they have to tell you, like, how they have to tell you if you're gonna buy a haunted house? Do they have to, you know, if there's a house where someone killed his whole family in it? Yeah. They have to tell you that?

• 1:59:56Speaker 01

  You see that oak tree? That's of Joe Diaz, by the way.

• 2:00:00Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 2:00:01Speaker 01

  No, they, like, they're making them to a soil, right? So.

• 2:00:05Joe Rogan?

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 2:00:06Speaker 01

  So you see that oak tree right there?

• 2:00:08Joe Rogan?

  We use Joey Diaz.

• 2:00:09Speaker 01

  But you do with particles, that's right, cocks like this.

• 2:00:12Joe Rogan?

  Do you think they have to tell you, though? That you're buying dead people fertilizer, or they just consider it chemicals at that point? How do they get away with selling you dead people? Cause it seems like if you had the option, hey, do you want, like, manure? Patitzen, eighteen eighty-eight?

• 2:00:27Speaker 02

  It's been around for a long time.

• 2:00:28Joe Rogan?

  Whoa! Patitzen in eighteen eighty-eight?

• 2:00:32Joe Rogan?

  They've been boiling people and turning them into fertilizer since the eighteen hundreds?

• 2:00:36Speaker 02

  Wow, but that's the part.

• 2:00:36Speaker 01

  So we have that machine, but not no fucking sewage.

• 2:00:39Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:00:41Speaker 02

  Trying to find out where they say that they've used it for other stuff.

• 2:00:44Joe Rogan?

  But the scary thing is what them saying that they use it for calcium deficiencies. Because that means you're feeding people other people's bones, so they can get a source of calcium.

• 2:00:55Speaker 01

  But that guy's vegan, so don't give it to him.

• 2:01:00Joe Rogan?

  Maybe it's okay, cause the person consented.

• 2:01:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm trying.

• 2:01:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 2:01:07Speaker 02

  Cremation Sochnov, seems like a solid place.

• 2:01:11Joe Rogan?

  Huh.

• 2:01:13Joe Rogan?

  So body plus ninety-five percent water, five percent alkaline, basic chemicals. Either potassium hydroxide, or sodium hydroxide, or a combo. Uh, sterile, effluent, water, salt, sugars, amino acids, peptides. Bone fragments, calcium phosphate, so that's what they get out of it. So they boil it down in this solution, and they get out all these different things. Water, salt, sugar, amino acids, peptides, and then calcium phosphate. And then, I guess, what do they do with the calcium? So if you're buying calcium, and you find out it's from dead people. They should probably let you know. You probably should have to let people know that.

• 2:01:53Speaker 01

  I drink dead people.

• 2:01:54Joe Rogan?

  You would sell a lot if you made it from dead people, for sure. Like, if you had a skull and crossbones on the bottle, there's a lot of assholes would buy that.

• 2:02:01Speaker 01

  But then if people start looking at that like they'd look at chicken, how was he raised?

• 2:02:08Speaker 01

  What kind of parents did he have?

• 2:02:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, if you're really into-

• 2:02:12Speaker 01

  Did he have anxiety problems?

• 2:02:13Joe Rogan?

  Is he, are you really into eating someone? What if they were a fucked up person and you take a little bit of their soul inside of you and you go insane?

• 2:02:20Speaker 01

  Bro. Be crazy, man.

• 2:02:23Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's gotta be what's happening with the cannibals when they get that disease and they all get that, they get shaky. The prion disease that they get from eating each other.

• 2:02:33Speaker 01

  Did Jeffrey Dahmer have that?

• 2:02:35Joe Rogan?

  I don't think so. I think you have to eat spinal tissue. You have to eat, uh, brain and spinal tissue. And it's a, they're called prions. The thing about prions is you can't even boil them. Like you, if you cook them at like a thousand degrees, I think for like hours, it doesn't kill them.

• 2:02:53Speaker 01

  If you, if you've been, if you ever get to a restaurant and they tell you you're just a human being, would you eat it?

• 2:03:00Joe Rogan?

  No. Why would I eat a person?

• 2:03:02Speaker 01

  Or would they tell you after, man, you just ate a-

• 2:03:05Joe Rogan?

  Well, I'd be really mad.

• 2:03:06Speaker 01

  Decomposed Aquiline body that we made into chicken.

• 2:03:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I wouldn't like that. Would you like that, Felipe?

• 2:03:14Speaker 01

  Hell, no.

• 2:03:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it would be weird.

• 2:03:18Speaker 01

  Need more salt, please.

• 2:03:19Joe Rogan?

  Remember that movie Soylent Green? Do you remember that movie?

• 2:03:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:03:21Joe Rogan?

  It's an old, old timey science fiction movie. But, uh, people were being fed Soylent Green and then this guy figures out that Soylent Green is made out of people. And they're, they're serving people like this fucking protein biscuit that's made out of humans.

• 2:03:36Speaker 01

  Oh, that sucks.

• 2:03:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but there's people that would do that.

• 2:03:38Speaker 01

  Is that the one, the old movie, right?

• 2:03:40Joe Rogan?

  There's people that would do that.

• 2:03:40Speaker 01

  Do they end with a woman boiling a, a foot?

• 2:03:44Joe Rogan?

  Ooh, I don't remember that. Maybe. I don't remember. It was a long time ago. I just remember the premise of the movie. I probably haven't seen that movie in twenty plus years.

• 2:03:51Speaker 01

  I saw one where a guy, a movie was called, uh, Microwave Massacre.

• 2:03:56Joe Rogan?

  Microwave Massacre?

• 2:03:57Speaker 01

  And this guy murdered his wife.

• 2:03:59Joe Rogan?

  In a microwave?

• 2:04:00Speaker 01

  And, and no, he, he cuts off her pieces and microwaves the body and makes lunches and he takes them to, to work every day and then-

• 2:04:07Joe Rogan?

  Wait, this is a real guy?

• 2:04:08Speaker 01

  Real movie.

• 2:04:09Joe Rogan?

  Wait, a real movie or a real person?

• 2:04:10Speaker 01

  It's a real movie called Microwave Massacre, but it's probably based on a real guy. And he would take, um, food that he made it from people he murdered and they would eat it at work and then when they, they finally caught him, everybody at work was throwing up.

• 2:04:23Joe Rogan?

  I think there was a woman who got caught eating her husband and serving him to the neighbors.

• 2:04:31Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:04:32Joe Rogan?

  How much you have to hate that dude? To serve him to you. How much you hate your neighbors? Say, I'm gonna watch these motherfuckers eat my husband. I wanna cook it up nice.

• 2:04:41Joe Rogan?

  Cook up that ass cheek.

• 2:04:42Speaker 01

  I hear you really like my husband.

• 2:04:45Joe Rogan?

  You're gonna love this dish. This is his favorite.

• 2:04:50Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ.

• 2:04:51Speaker 01

  I made a consomme for him too.

• 2:04:53Joe Rogan?

  A consomme? A nice bone broth. Good for the soul. Yeah, so that's where that shit comes from. Preeons. It's a, they're scary. There, there's, that's mad cow disease. That's what, um, cannibals get. It's a very sketchy disease. And there's another one right now that deers have. It's called chronic wasting disease. Same, same kinda deal. It's a prion disease. And, uh, deers are getting it and they froth at the mouth and drool and they, they, they, their, their body shrivels up. Very creepy, man.

• 2:05:24Speaker 01

  You can eat those?

• 2:05:25Joe Rogan?

  No. You can? Cause there's no crossover to people, but I wouldn't suggest it. I wouldn't recommend it. I mean, I, I wouldn't. The thing is, you can test and you could find out if your deer's okay. Like, you can shoot them and then test them and then you know you're good to go and you can eat the deer. But if it's, it tests positive, it hasn't jumped from animal to people. It's only an animal, but the, what it does to animals is so grave. Why would you take that chance? This is how I feel. Like, why would you take a chance of consuming an animal that literally has the plague inside of it? Cause for deer, that's the plague. These deer, they're, I mean, they're, they're not even, see, the thing, like, with people, a disease like that would spread like wildfire, right? With deer,

• 2:06:08Joe Rogan?

  they're out in these big, giant, open areas and yet still, it's spreading from their saliva onto leaves. And then other deer pick it up.

• 2:06:17Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 2:06:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's, um, it's super fucking contagious and it kills the shit out of them. And if that jumps to people, that's a real problem. That's a real fucking problem. Cause I don't know if they have, uh, medication that combats it in deer. I don't know what research they've done and trying to figure it out, but I know it's, it's such a problem that there's a lot of places where they're killing extra deer just to try to keep the populations lower so they don't interact with each other as much and so don't catch it from giving it back and forth to each other.

• 2:06:49Speaker 01

  And people have this right now?

• 2:06:50Joe Rogan?

  No humans have it yet, but I think chronic wasting disease has been, it used to be one type of deer. I'm not sure what deer it started out with, it might have been mule deer. But it's in a lot of whitetail deer in America and apparently it's made its way into other ungulates. Like, I think it's in elk, and I think they might have even found it in moose. It's scary shit, man, because it's basically a zombie virus. It turns you into a fucking skeleton and you waste away. Yeah, it's horrific. And it's, um, probably some of it came from farms. Because they think that that's one of the ways that it's spread. Like, there's a lot of deer farms that do a great job, they're very ethical.

• 2:07:33Joe Rogan?

  So if you wanted a property and you wanted your own private hunting property, and you wanted to put a high fence up, take care of the ground, put food plots in there for the animals, this is how you, you know, you got a thousand acres, you want to fence it all in. Like, you could do that in Texas, and you can buy deer. So you say, okay, I want to buy, you know, like, twenty whitetail deer and let them loose on my property. You know, you got this thousand acre spot or wherever you're at.

• 2:07:56Joe Rogan?

  If you get a deer that is from a farm that's unethical, they're all going to be stacked next to each other, just like pigs. When you watch fucking factory farming for pigs, they're going to be corralled and shitty. Most of them don't do this, but you're always going to have people that are unethical. And when people do things where diseases start getting spread, and they kind of cover it up or lie about it because they don't want to lose money, and then they're sending deer around, so like, there's a lot of regulations now on how you can move deer across state lines because of these diseases.

• 2:08:28Speaker 01

  If you have bad deer meat, can you cover it up with a bunch of good deer meat where that bad meat disappears?

• 2:08:38Joe Rogan?

  What do you mean?

• 2:08:39Speaker 01

  She say like, because I remember myself cooking, and I had like, I spilled like, a shitload of garlic on my oatmeal, and I was making oatmeal for. Fifteen motherfuckers in rehab. So I just started putting more oatmeal, more oatmeal and more milk to hide the garlic smell. But in the end, everybody was farting anyway, so they still got it. But do people do, that's what you're saying, that people do that with deer meat? That they cover it up?

• 2:09:05Joe Rogan?

  Do that, yeah, you could make sausage.

• 2:09:06Speaker 01

  People are not unethical, they hide it by it.

• 2:09:09Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no. See, what we're talking about, chronic wasting disease, is it's, that's different. Alright, it probably wouldn't even affect the taste of the animal, they'll probably be very lean, because there's not much left of them. Or they could have just gotten it and they could look, be healthy looking, and they still have this disease, they're still test positive for it. My fear would be about what that disease is gonna do, if it jumps to human beings. And if you're consuming it, are we sure that it just goes out of your system, or is it just inert? It doesn't work in your system? Could it work eventually? Is it something that has an incubation period that maybe, maybe not now, maybe it will have one in five years from now, or ten years from now. Maybe the version of chronic wasting disease, if it evolves and changes, is gonna be making the jump to humans. That's a scary fucking disease to make the jump to humans.

• 2:09:55Joe Rogan?

  You know, there's a bunch of those out there.

• 2:09:56Speaker 01

  Like bird flu.

• 2:09:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, man. And then there's the ones that we make.

• 2:10:02Speaker 01

  Gonorrhea.

• 2:10:04Joe Rogan?

  No, like covid, they fucking made that shit in a lab. They made it in a lab, it's spread across the whole world. You think they made aids in a lab? Did you say like aids?

• 2:10:14Speaker 01

  Like aids, or somebody, I read that somewhere, somebody say, oh, they make all that shit in labs.

• 2:10:18Joe Rogan?

  Well.

• 2:10:19Speaker 01

  Wasn't it like part of like, um, chemical warfare, right?

• 2:10:24Joe Rogan?

  That is a part of chemical warfare, yeah.

• 2:10:26Speaker 01

  Like putting, um, disease blankets on natives, you know, and...

• 2:10:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, they've done a bunch of fucking studies, like, that's the, the big conspiracy theory about Lyme disease.

• 2:10:35Speaker 01

  Influencer blankets, that's what they had.

• 2:10:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, no, no, no, that was, um, smallpox.

• 2:10:40Speaker 01

  Smallpox.

• 2:10:41Joe Rogan?

  But I don't know if that's even true, because I don't think they really knew what, like, how diseases were spread back then. I don't think they knew that you could just, like, put scabs on a blanket and give people smallpox. And if you had smallpox, are you trying to dish out smallpox, are you trying to catch it, so you're, you're handling it, then putting it in blankets? It seems like an exaggerated cruelty of what happened. And what happened was, Europeans came over here, the Native Americans had, you know, whatever you wanna call them, the indigenous people, they did not have any, uh, immunity to smallpox, and it wiped out ninety percent of them. Diseases from North Americans or from Europeans rather coming to North America, they wiped out everybody with disease.

• 2:11:23Joe Rogan?

  It's somewhere in the neighborhood of ninety percent of the people that were here are gone because of disease. So, you know, when people want to think that there's there's no way to prepare like a a group of human beings that has no immunity in, you know, fourteen ninety-two. There's no way to, there's no way to prepare. There's no way to prepare anybody. You're, you're coming in with these stinky European streets filled with shit water, right? Everybody's got some funky parasite, funky disease. They probably fucking stink. They're probably infested with all-

• 2:12:03Speaker 01

  They probably smell that boat of all the way.

• 2:12:05Joe Rogan?

  They probably have viruses fighting viruses inside their body. Coughing phlegm and blood and they're drinking whiskey and they come over to-

• 2:12:13Speaker 01

  Probably having sex with each other.

• 2:12:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and it's probably none of it's consensual. It's probably animals biting each other and holding each other down, fucking each other. And then they come to North America and they start slaughtering people and the, the, there's this one. Uh, uh, we've talked about this before. He was like a bishop or some religious man who chronicled one of Christopher Columbus's early interactions-

• 2:12:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:12:37Joe Rogan?

  With these people and it's horrific shit, man. Cutting people's arms off if they don't bring back their weight in gold and dashing babies on rocks in front of their parents. Horrific shit, man. And those are the kind of people that brought those diseases. Like you want to talk about, that's like a real demon horde.

• 2:12:57Speaker 01

  Crazy, huh?

• 2:12:58Joe Rogan?

  Crazy. A real demon horde of people come over on a boat stinking, covered in their own shit, breathing diseases on everybody. Everybody's dying like, wow, he's so unhealthy.

• 2:13:11Speaker 01

  I know, man, like, um, I think about, um, that, uh, that pirate, um- I don't know, one of the pirates.

• 2:13:18Joe Rogan?

  Blackbeard?

• 2:13:19Speaker 01

  Blackbeard, man, he was full of gonorrhea.

• 2:13:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that.

• 2:13:22Speaker 01

  And he would drop, um, he would drop, um, mercury on his penis. To ki- to, uh, relieve, to, for, uh, to cure his diseases on his penis. Cause that's, that's all they had.

• 2:13:34Joe Rogan?

  The, what a good move. Who invented that? What asshole was like, try mercury?

• 2:13:38Speaker 01

  He probably was on, on a pirate ship somewhere, met a voodoo doctor and said, hey, man. Mercury, put it in your dick.

• 2:13:45Joe Rogan?

  Did mercury kill his dick?

• 2:13:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13:47Joe Rogan?

  It says, when held prison, when he held prisoners for ransom, such as the governor's son during the week-long Charlestown blockade in seventeen eighteen, he asked for expensive medical supplies. This included liquid mercury, which, when injected through a urethral syringe.

• 2:14:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:14:04Joe Rogan?

  Was a common ineffective treatment for syphilis. Injected through your pee hole with a fucking syringe. Yo. Blackbeard, Blackbeard had up to fourteen wives in different ports. Wow. Damn. Well, somebody's do a movie about that guy.

• 2:14:24Speaker 01

  Imagine, man, he had the money to put mercury in his dick. The rest of the crew probably didn't. So they're, they're fucking everything, man. Fucking shut up.

• 2:14:33Joe Rogan?

  There's this, uh, temple in China that they are afraid to go into. They discovered it. And this emperor, when he died, was such a great emperor that he had this whole field of terracotta statues that were, were built that looked like warriors that are guarding him. Like this, it's crazy discovery that they had.

• 2:14:52Speaker 01

  They're giant, right?

• 2:14:53Joe Rogan?

  But the ground all around where this temple is, is tests for high levels of mercury. And the, the ancient story is that anybody who ever dared open up this temple, open up this tomb, brother, where this emperor is buried, will drown.

• 2:15:11Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:15:11Joe Rogan?

  In mercury.

• 2:15:12Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna say they got gonorrhea.

• 2:15:14Joe Rogan?

  No, imagine drowning in mer- imagine like two thousand years ago, a dude sets up a booby trap for greedy people and sets it up where he fills the entire tomb up with mercury. First of all, is that even possible? How much mercury would you have to handle and how many people would have to die from that mercury? Could you imagine, where, first of all, where did, where did they even get it? Yeah. Where do they get mercury in two thousand plus years ago? Do you know that story about that emperor and his temple?

• 2:15:44Joe Rogan?

  No, Teotihuacan is Aztec.

• 2:15:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's probably a common booby track, I bet. But this one where there's a temple in China.

• 2:15:58Speaker 02

  On top of Google, it says temple drowned in mercury refers to the temple of Teotihuacan.

• 2:16:02Joe Rogan?

  Can you say temple booby trapped with mercury in China? I think it's like the first emperor of China.

• 2:16:10Speaker 02

  It says it too. I mean, it says it could have been another thing that they did.

• 2:16:13Speaker 01

  On Earth.

• 2:16:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, this is the one. So, there's one that they're, they have not entered into. And I think this is the one with the terracotta statues in front of it. There's one of the, I think this is a common thing when great people died, they probably made a terracotta army for them. When they find these things, it's like.

• 2:16:34Joe Rogan?

  You. Here it is. It's us talking about it. Crazy story of first emperor of China's tomb. That's me and Schultz talking about it, right? Click on that.

• 2:16:48Joe Rogan?

  So I'll remember. It's not our video. It's my fucking video, bitch.

• 2:16:51Speaker 02

  It's somebody else's video.

• 2:16:52Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 2:16:52Speaker 02

  Somebody else uploaded, I should say.

• 2:16:53Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's ridiculous, but it's ours, right?

• 2:16:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's 41.

• 2:16:57Joe Rogan?

  So what do you, what is this, I mean, like, they would have a copyright on my voice?

• 2:17:01Speaker 02

  I don't want to get into it, but yeah, we probably have, the revenue's probably coming to our thing if you're people claiming it, but it's up. I'm just saying. My point in bringing that up was I don't know how it's been edited.

• 2:17:10Speaker 01

  A lot of the clips I watched are from other people sharing them.

• 2:17:12Speaker 02

  I was just saying, it's not ours, so I don't know if they edited it or not. That's why I didn't watch it.

• 2:17:16Joe Rogan?

  Okay, okay, don't put it up then.

• 2:17:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:17:18Joe Rogan?

  Got it. But anyway, the point is, there's a tomb in China that's supposedly booby trapped with tons of liquid mercury. I'm sure Jamie will find it. But it's, uh, this area around it apparently tests high for mercury. So they think that it might be a true story and they don't want to go in there. They don't want to fucking open up the door and die. Which is wild that this dude set this up, if he did, 2,000 plus years ago. I don't even remember how many thousands of years ago it was, but it was insanely impressive.

• 2:17:46Speaker 01

  Wow, amazing to dig up something like that and it still works.

• 2:17:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like where the, where do you, while Jamie's looking this up, where the fuck do you think they get mercury and how much can they get? How much can they have back then?

• 2:17:59Speaker 01

  I've only seen an thermometer.

• 2:18:01Joe Rogan?

  I know, like where are they getting it?

• 2:18:02Speaker 02

  Throughout antiquity, remember we've talked about Cinnabar before?

• 2:18:05Joe Rogan?

  Cinnabar.

• 2:18:06Speaker 01

  Cinnabar.

• 2:18:07Joe Rogan?

  It's where they got red stuff also.

• 2:18:10Speaker 02

  Uh, Cinnabar in antiquity was the source of all mercury.

• 2:18:13Joe Rogan?

  So how did they do it?

• 2:18:14Speaker 01

  Little pool of it?

• 2:18:17Joe Rogan?

  How did they do it? Does it say how they did it?

• 2:18:19Speaker 02

  I mean, it says to extract, you need to roast it in air, converting the sulfur to sulfur dioxide. While the mercury is released as vapor, it can be then condensed. Mercury boils at 357 Celsius. This process needs temperatures well within. They needed some kilns. They had those.

• 2:18:34Joe Rogan?

  Wow. So they just cooked up mercury?

• 2:18:37Speaker 02

  It's just hard to do, but they did it.

• 2:18:39Joe Rogan?

  Wow. Well, if they can make a temple like this guy had, they can cook up mercury and fill that temple. That is crazy to think of. That that, I wish, maybe there's gonna be a way with, uh, new technology where they can like pierce into the ground. Where they can see into things without having to like actually go in there physically. Cause I know they're doing like the lidar stuff. I know they can kinda detect where there used to be agriculture in places.

• 2:19:03Speaker 02

  Someone digging into, is this claim real? And this says that even if, uh...

• 2:19:10Joe Rogan?

  So even though mercury either as a Cinnabar or as the elemental metal has been found in tombs dating as far back as the second millennium B.C. It's not clear why it was put there. Might its toxicity have acted as a deterrent to grave looters? Probably not. The dangers of mercury fumes were not recognized until Han times. If so, it seems there's a lot of mercury in the burial chamber. It's likely to be either a preservative or an anti-theft device. So the, the, the big theory is that it's an anti-theft device and that's why people are terrified of going in there. Here, hold it right here. Based on estimates of mercury production from the Song era and allowing for the imperfections of the earlier refinement process.

• 2:19:52Joe Rogan?

  He thinks the chamber might have contained at most 100 tons of the liquid metal.

• 2:20:01Joe Rogan?

  Holy shit.

• 2:20:06Joe Rogan?

  A hundred tons.

• 2:20:08Speaker 01

  How did Black Bear find this shit?

• 2:20:11Joe Rogan?

  Whew, well, that wasn't Black Bear, that was China.

• 2:20:14Speaker 02

  Here's a...

• 2:20:15Speaker 01

  How did he find mercury back then?

• 2:20:17Speaker 02

  That's the urethral device.

• 2:20:18Speaker 01

  Shiver me timbers!

• 2:20:20Joe Rogan?

  They probably had a bi- oh, they have like a, look at that, that was the device they stuck in their dick? Oh my god.

• 2:20:25Speaker 01

  And that's a saying, right? Shiver me timbers?

• 2:20:29Speaker 01

  Were you surprised or shocked?

• 2:20:30Joe Rogan?

  I think they're saying that just for funsies.

• 2:20:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:20:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, they found this in a wreck.

• 2:20:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, this guy had a mercury syringe in a wreck.

• 2:20:39Speaker 01

  For my pee pee.

• 2:20:40Joe Rogan?

  And look, it's all rough looking and it's not even polished good.

• 2:20:44Speaker 01

  Man, he probably drawing his map, "Don't go over there, man. If you're gonna go to this island, take lots of mercury."

• 2:20:50Joe Rogan?

  Meanwhile, they all died from that, right? Syphilis.

• 2:20:53Speaker 02

  Look at this, a pump cluster, which would have been to use pump fluid into the rectum, allowing the body to quickly absorb it. They were taking...

• 2:21:03Joe Rogan?

  Like animals?

• 2:21:03Speaker 02

  They're boofing.

• 2:21:05Joe Rogan?

  They're boofing. So they were doing that for drugs? Pump liquid into the rectum.

• 2:21:09Speaker 02

  Figure out, figure out what they're doing.

• 2:21:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, liquid into the rectum. Well, aren't people doing that with like moonshine? Don't they pour moonshine in their asshole? This is what I heard.

• 2:21:17Speaker 01

  They pour coffee now.

• 2:21:18Joe Rogan?

  I heard, uh, people take, uh, tampons filled with vodka and stuff them in their asshole.

• 2:21:23Speaker 02

  I mean, they've been doing it since the days of the pirates, so it's not new.

• 2:21:29Speaker 02

  There you go, it's a device.

• 2:21:30Joe Rogan?

  Bro, what the fuck is wrong with people?

• 2:21:31Speaker 02

  Severe dehydration by pumping fluid in their ass.

• 2:21:35Speaker 01

  People like putting stuff in their butt.

• 2:21:37Speaker 02

  And also a bloodletting instrument called a poringer.

• 2:21:40Joe Rogan?

  I had a buddy of mine, and he did his, uh, medical residency in Miami in the 1980s during the cocaine times. And he said, "Dude," he, that's where he did his residency, so he was in the emergency room. So it's like every day someone's coming in with something stuffed up their ass. Their coke died of their mind, they got G.I. Joe stuffed up their ass, they got, he found people with light bulbs. Those like twisty pine cone looking light bulbs stuck up their ass.

• 2:22:03Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 2:22:03Joe Rogan?

  Bro, all kinds of things stuck up their ass.

• 2:22:05Speaker 01

  I did a show at Lumpok State Penitentiary, and one of the guards told me that, um, some guy made a vibrator out of seven handballs.

• 2:22:19Speaker 01

  You know the one, the void?

• 2:22:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 2:22:22Speaker 01

  And he taped them all up. And then, um, what hap- how do you guys know? Well, he didn't tie them up too good and they were all stuck and they had to take them all out.

• 2:22:31Joe Rogan?

  Oh no. He didn't tie them up good?

• 2:22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, because he didn't put enough wrapping, I guess.

• 2:22:36Joe Rogan?

  So they had to go in his butt and get all those balls?

• 2:22:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:22:39Joe Rogan?

  How many were in there?

• 2:22:39Speaker 01

  Like five, whatever, whatever, um, how many balls make this?

• 2:22:47Speaker 01

  And you thought he was hiding a knife?

• 2:22:51Joe Rogan?

  That's a hard way to go too, because sometimes people die that way. You get, you know, toxic shock, something goes wrong, you tear your rectum, you bleed out internally. Ugh, stuffing things up your ass, like the Mr. Hand story. You know the Mr. Hand story, right?

• 2:23:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:23:06Joe Rogan?

  There's a whole movie based on it called Zoo. Zoo is a, it's a thing called zoophilia, where people are sexually attracted to farm animals. And so these people met up online and, uh, they found out that you're still allowed to fuck animals in Washington State. So they all went to Washington State.

• 2:23:22Speaker 01

  This is a movie?

• 2:23:23Joe Rogan?

  It was Washington State, right? Yeah.

• 2:23:24Speaker 01

  It was a movie?

• 2:23:24Joe Rogan?

  It was based on a true story.

• 2:23:25Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 2:23:25Joe Rogan?

  And, uh, this dude got fucked to death by a horse. They bring him to the emergency room, like, what's going on? And, you know, everyone's acting a little shifty and then they have to tell the whole story. And they find out these people have like hundreds of hours of people getting fucked by donkeys and horses and shit. And they all did this out on this, uh, this weird ranch.

• 2:23:44Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:23:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:23:46Speaker 01

  You know, one of the-

• 2:23:46Joe Rogan?

  That's how the dude died.

• 2:23:47Speaker 01

  One of the first books, you know, there used to be a lot of sex books when we were kids?

• 2:23:51Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:23:52Speaker 01

  And they were all ra- they were all nasty books about sex.

• 2:23:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:23:55Speaker 01

  The first one I ever read was about people having sex with animals.

• 2:24:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:24:00Speaker 01

  But they were like, remember the Penthouse stories or Playboy stories?

• 2:24:03Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:24:04Speaker 01

  But this were all with animals. And I remember the woman telling this whole story about having sex with a horse.

• 2:24:11Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ.

• 2:24:12Speaker 01

  And like just riding that fool.

• 2:24:16Joe Rogan?

  You never see the Mr. Hands video. There's a video, one video that got leaked online way back in the day. Brian Redban sent it to me. And it's this dude getting railed by the horse. And it's not even the one where he dies, apparently. He dies in another video. But in this video, you see the size of the horse's dick and you see his body and you see his ass and you're like, there's no way.

• 2:24:36Speaker 01

  How many people helped him because it's something you can't do?

• 2:24:39Joe Rogan?

  One guy grabbed it and just pointed it in the right direction. And the horse was one gigantic thrust of death. The guy makes this horrible sound and then his friend goes too much. And then his friend is like, oh, he came, he came, the horse came. And you're like, this is the sickest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. And that's how that guy died. That guy in that video that's getting fucked by that horse was the guy who eventually dies from it.

• 2:25:05Speaker 01

  Did they put the horse to sleep afterwards?

• 2:25:07Joe Rogan?

  I don't think so. It's not the horse's fault. What the fuck did the horse do? The horse is gonna, you know, I wouldn't bend over in front of him. You know, he's kind of, right? He's kind of conditioned now. It's not his fault. Kind of says they only found out about all this because he died. Yes. Like. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, yeah, but it's like, it's just go, yeah.

• 2:25:22Speaker 01

  Was that his first time or did he try with ponies first?

• 2:25:25Joe Rogan?

  No, he had been fucked by a bunch of horses or a bunch of times by the same horse. But there was like apparently many hours this guy getting fucked by horses.

• 2:25:32Speaker 01

  Sounds like that, uh.

• 2:25:33Joe Rogan?

  A hundred VHS tapes and DVDs.

• 2:25:35Speaker 01

  But it's real, right? Not like an urban legend like when people say I went to TJ and saw a donkey show.

• 2:25:40Joe Rogan?

  You want to see it? No.

• 2:25:42Speaker 01

  You gonna show it?

• 2:25:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. This is still my old computer, I guess.

• 2:25:44Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:25:45Joe Rogan?

  Do you have it? You can still get it, right? I don't know where to look. I'll look. I bet you could get it. I bet if you put it on, up on X. X is one of the few places where, actually, it's actually illegal. So maybe you can't have it on X. Hold on. Because, uh, bestiality, it wasn't illegal when they were doing it, though.

• 2:26:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:26:03Joe Rogan?

  There's a point, kinda.

• 2:26:04Speaker 01

  No, that's what's called, that's called bestiality when you have sex with a, with an animal, okay?

• 2:26:09Joe Rogan?

  It's called, you're fucking gross.

• 2:26:10Speaker 01

  And what's the one where you have sex with dead bodies?

• 2:26:13Joe Rogan?

  Uh, that is, um.

• 2:26:14Speaker 01

  Necrophilia, right, oh, necrophilia.

• 2:26:15Joe Rogan?

  Don't look on X for that. Yeah, you can't find it on X. It's a different search result that pops up. Oh, yeah, they probably game the search results now, right? Um, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of twenty-one and older material.

• 2:26:29Speaker 01

  People have sex with animals, right? Like, since, so you want to talk about gangs of New York, how ugly it was?

• 2:26:35Joe Rogan?

  Right. People just fucked everything that was in front of them. All right, I found it. You found it? Okay, here it is. Headphones, please. We'll make sure it, oh. Yeah, there it is, baby. I mean, you verify that that's it? Oh, that's a hundred percent it. Okay. Absolutely. Go full screen. And, uh, don't show it on screen at all. Thank you. Don't they, uh, mute the sound when we play this? Nope. Nope, let's hear it.

• 2:26:59Joe Rogan?

  Dana Cruz.

• 2:27:03Joe Rogan?

  It's on a porn site, I guess. Here we go. Here's the sound.

• 2:27:08Speaker 01

  That's reverse him?

• 2:27:09Joe Rogan?

  So, that's the guy's butt, the horse gets on top of him. And then the guy grabs it. Look at this, watch this. Look at the distance, look at the amount of tissue we're talking about here, watch this.

• 2:27:19Speaker 01

  Like Long Dong Silver.

• 2:27:41Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 2:27:44Joe Rogan?

  This is on a loop, this is repeating.

• 2:27:46Speaker 01

  It's repeating, yeah.

• 2:27:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, this is, it's already... The whole thing really only lasts a couple of seconds.

• 2:27:51Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:27:53Joe Rogan?

  That guy died.

• 2:27:54Speaker 01

  The guy has no ass.

• 2:27:54Joe Rogan?

  The movie's fascinating, because the movie is like a documentary sort of recreation of those people, and it's not like that, you don't see things. But you just see how fucking bananas the whole story is.

• 2:28:05Speaker 01

  That horse is known for that, or they just grabbed a random horse? Because he seemed to know what he was doing, bro.

• 2:28:11Joe Rogan?

  Well, he probably been fucking that guy for a long time. They probably been doing, that's what I'm saying, like, it killed him one day, but I think he had done it a bunch of times.

• 2:28:19Speaker 01

  You're not gonna show that, right?

• 2:28:20Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, we've had enough.

• 2:28:21Speaker 01

  Peter will come after us.

• 2:28:22Joe Rogan?

  We've had enough. Who knows what I was really showing? Yeah, we were just making noises. Cartoons.

• 2:28:27Speaker 01

  That is...

• 2:28:29Speaker 01

  Mister, what the, my name is Mister Ed.

• 2:28:32Joe Rogan?

  There's people out there that are out of their fucking minds. They're out of their fucking mind, you're getting fucked to death by a horse in a grainy video. You know? Like, what is life for you?

• 2:28:47Speaker 01

  That must be crazy.

• 2:28:49Joe Rogan?

  That's your thing, you're getting off work at 5:00, and I think the guy who died was an intelligent guy, was he, wasn't he an engineer? He worked at Boeing for over 8 years, yeah. Bro, he was a Boeing engineer who liked to get fucked to death by a horse. That horse's dick is as long as an arm. Look at how long that dick is.

• 2:29:07Speaker 01

  Oh, like Long Dong Silver?

• 2:29:08Joe Rogan?

  Do you see the size of that thing?

• 2:29:09Speaker 01

  It was like 17 and a half inches.

• 2:29:11Joe Rogan?

  It was gigantic, it was probably bigger than that. When it goes into his body, you're just like, where's this, where's the room? Where's the space? How?

• 2:29:20Speaker 01

  How do you warm up to it?

• 2:29:22Joe Rogan?

  I guess you start with fingers.

• 2:29:26Speaker 02

  The ability to experience certain sensations after a motorcycle accident.

• 2:29:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, so that was the only way you could feel things?

• 2:29:35Speaker 02

  Started going ham.

• 2:29:37Joe Rogan?

  Oh, God, that's terrifying. That's terrifying.

• 2:29:41Speaker 02

  I don't know why he started filming it, though.

• 2:29:43Joe Rogan?

  Well, you know what? That also kind of makes sense, right? Because we've talked about this many times, about, uh, brain injuries. About people with brain injuries, they get very impulsive and they do reckless things. That totally makes sense. If this guy had a motorcycle accident that fucked up the way he feels thing, he probably got wrecked.

• 2:30:01Speaker 01

  That's crazy, man.

• 2:30:02Joe Rogan?

  So he got wrecked, he probably got a brain injury. And it probably turned him into a wild man.

• 2:30:06Speaker 01

  I twisted my ankle, man. Now I want a moose to fuck me in the ass.

• 2:30:12Joe Rogan?

  You want to get fucked to death by a wild animal. You want to be the first guy to get buttfucked by a bear. Yeah, but you, you, you break your brain in that way? Like, for some people, they're just different now.

• 2:30:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 2:30:25Joe Rogan?

  Now they're different. I've seen it happen to a bunch of dudes when they've been knocked out.

• 2:30:31Joe Rogan?

  Been knocked out really bad.

• 2:30:32Speaker 01

  But that's crazy, getting like, get knocked out, fucked out, and you wake up and goes, "Is there a horse nearby? Because I'm really horny right now."

• 2:30:40Joe Rogan?

  Well, who knows what's going on with the chemistry of your brain? You just want experience, you want excitement. You want to see if you can suck a horse's cock.

• 2:30:49Speaker 01

  But that goes back to your old bit, old joke, man. The old joke, just say, "Hey, you take a break today."

• 2:30:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, take a day off.

• 2:30:57Speaker 01

  You know what I said when you had that joke about, uh, the Playboy Mansion? And, and you said that, uh, what's his name? Well, whatever? He would have, um, every once in a while, a gay will pop in. And then he goes, and then the punchline was, "Nah, man, you take a break."

• 2:31:13Joe Rogan?

  Don't start fucking guys. Take a break.

• 2:31:14Speaker 01

  You take a break.

• 2:31:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, relax. You're getting a little crazy.

• 2:31:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, you fucking take chicks a day. You don't have for a guy. You take a break.

• 2:31:21Joe Rogan?

  I think for some people with brain injuries, though, they, they get addicted to skydiving, they get addicted to gambling, they get addicted to, like, really reckless behavior.

• 2:31:28Speaker 01

  Gary Busey was in a head injury, right?

• 2:31:30Joe Rogan?

  A bad one.

• 2:31:31Speaker 01

  I wonder what he's up to?

• 2:31:32Joe Rogan?

  He, uh, looks like he's been in an accident. He, um, he fell on a motorcycle and hit his head on the curb with no helmet on. Yeah, it was a bad one. So California didn't used to have a helmet law.

• 2:31:44Speaker 01

  It was because of him though.

• 2:31:46Joe Rogan?

  Well, I don't know if it's because of him.

• 2:31:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did read that. He started a big push.

• 2:31:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:31:51Speaker 02

  To help that.

• 2:31:52Joe Rogan?

  Um, so he helped it, but I know that people wanted, you know. I'm torn on that shit. It's like, yeah, you should have helmet laws because there's eighteen year old boys out there that can have motorcycles and that's fucking crazy. That's crazy to give. I am so glad that when I was eighteen, I never got a fucking motorcycle.

• 2:32:09Speaker 01

  What's your thought of a motorcycle like, um, at seventy miles an hour with a helmet is like nothing, right? Like a nothing.

• 2:32:16Joe Rogan?

  Depends on how you fall.

• 2:32:17Speaker 01

  How you fall, right?

• 2:32:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you might slide. If you slide, you probably just get your skin ripped from your body.

• 2:32:21Speaker 01

  Did you survive it? Yeah, well, just woke up to a fetish. That's it.

• 2:32:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but that's the thing, man. If you get really banged, you could have some screwy brainwaves after that. You know, and you could think everyone's out to get you. You get like, people get real weird. They get real weird and they feel like extra vulnerable. Cause they, you know, their brains not working the same anymore. So they don't know who they are anymore. They don't feel like they used to feel.

• 2:32:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:32:44Joe Rogan?

  They started to feel crazy. You know, and they start thinking no one wants to help them. You start getting really angry and real negative. And then you get fucked by a horse.

• 2:32:56Joe Rogan?

  It's just.

• 2:32:58Joe Rogan?

  Out of all the things that you could be doing, that that's, that's how you chose to go out. All these things that you could be doing. You know, you could be seeing the world.

• 2:33:09Speaker 01

  He said, nah, I wanna see biscuit.

• 2:33:11Joe Rogan?

  You could be a food blogger.

• 2:33:12Speaker 01

  Nah, ponies.

• 2:33:15Joe Rogan?

  You could be a fashion influencer. Nope.

• 2:33:18Speaker 01

  Nah, I wanna be Willie Shoemaker.

• 2:33:20Joe Rogan?

  I wanna get taken out by a horse.

• 2:33:22Speaker 01

  A black stallion.

• 2:33:23Joe Rogan?

  In some dirty barn somewhere. That's where you breathe your last breath. In a dirty barn with horse jizz in your asshole.

• 2:33:31Speaker 01

  What his friend do?

• 2:33:32Joe Rogan?

  I don't know. They freaked out. They brought him to the hospital. They tried to drop him off. Then the, the cops start questioning him, I believe. I'm paraphrasing for sure, uh, but I think that's how they got busted. They brought off the guy and he's got a giant hole in his asshole. He's pale like a sheet. Like what happened?

• 2:33:50Speaker 01

  Same face.

• 2:33:51Joe Rogan?

  What, why is he, why is the inside of his body missing? Why does he have a fucking telephone pole?

• 2:33:58Speaker 01

  Why could we see his shoes through his mouth?

• 2:34:00Joe Rogan?

  What is going on with this dude? What did you do? What'd you do?

• 2:34:06Joe Rogan?

  That story about Jimi Hendrix still freaks me out. I think about it. I've been thinking about it the entire time we've been talking. I go back to the idea of them just pouring pills down the greatest guitarist of all times' mouth and then just pouring jugs of wine down, holding him down, and that's how he dies. Motherfucker, that's scary.

• 2:34:24Speaker 01

  His manager?

• 2:34:26Joe Rogan?

  Motherfucker.

• 2:34:27Speaker 02

  His US manager said this story is not true, just for...

• 2:34:30Joe Rogan?

  Of course. I would say that too.

• 2:34:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:34:35Joe Rogan?

  I would say that too. I mean, I don't know if it's true. Who fucking knows? But the idea, and he did, but he definitely did die. He definitely did die by asphyxiation.

• 2:34:43Speaker 01

  Don't people say also, like, that the CIA did it? Jimi Hendrix?

• 2:34:49Joe Rogan?

  I don't know. I haven't heard that one. But if anything happens, people always think the CIA was involved somehow. Anything, no matter what it is, right?

• 2:34:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:34:56Joe Rogan?

  Pretty much.

• 2:34:57Speaker 01

  They always say that.

• 2:34:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't trust nothing.

• 2:34:59Speaker 01

  Secret agent, man.

• 2:35:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's either them, or it's China, or it's Russia. Who's really sending me this text telling me that I'm qualified for the $4,000 in savings? Who's, you know those texts you get? Like, who's sending those?

• 2:35:12Speaker 01

  Who's texting?

• 2:35:13Joe Rogan?

  You know those texts that you get, like, random texts? "Hey, congratulations, you've received approval for your loan."

• 2:35:18Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't get those.

• 2:35:19Joe Rogan?

  You don't get those? I get them from, for a dude named Ray. So Ray had my fucking phone number before I moved here. And fucking Ray, Ray must have signed up to every goddamn list. Ray must have put in that number every chance he could. I keep getting these fucking text messages for Ray. And it's all like, loans, and you qualify for this, and you're, this is available, we're looking for someone to hire. There's always some weird scams.

• 2:35:45Speaker 01

  You qualify for aluminum siding?

• 2:35:48Joe Rogan?

  I don't understand how they can't stop that from happening. It seems weird that you get so many of them. You get so many of these scam things, where they get a hold of your, your phone number and just spam you lies.

• 2:36:00Speaker 01

  I think um they they think you you get to a certain age fifty and they think you're gullible to these tricks now.

• 2:36:05Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think young people are gullible too.

• 2:36:07Speaker 01

  They they send it to twenty two year olds, hey, man, you wanna uh uh fix your loan, your home? I don't even have a home.

• 2:36:13Joe Rogan?

  If you're dumb, if you're dumb and you're twenty two and you get something that you qualify for four thousand, oh shit, they think this is me. Then I say, yes, yeah, yeah, I'll I'll take that money. And then, you know, whatever the fuck they do. I don't know what they do.

• 2:36:25Speaker 01

  There was a guy in LA that was calling women at their jobs and telling them they had one something. And he convinced them to cut their heels off their shoes.

• 2:36:37Joe Rogan?

  And he what, film it?

• 2:36:38Speaker 01

  No, he was just calling them up randomly, hey, you just won blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All you gotta do is cut your heels off your shoes right now. And women were doing it and he called a bunch of chicks and they all just fucked up their shoes for nothing.

• 2:36:51Joe Rogan?

  Oh, what an asshole. It's funny, but it's also like.

• 2:36:55Speaker 01

  That person was mean, I wasn't, but it was somebody.

• 2:36:57Joe Rogan?

  Rude thing to do to a lady, especially if it's your favorite shoes and you only have one pair.

• 2:37:02Speaker 01

  Not my red bottoms.

• 2:37:03Joe Rogan?

  Bro, shoes are hard to get. Those bitches are expensive, right?

• 2:37:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:07Joe Rogan?

  So why are we so lucky? We don't have to wear shoes that hurt? Girls wear shoes that hurt. They they can only wear them for so long. Like, I can't imagine. I don't even like wearing things other than sneakers.

• 2:37:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37:19Joe Rogan?

  Or like a comfortable boot, like, you know, I got a pair, a couple pairs of these Origin boots. They're real comfortable, easy to walk around in, like, nice, smooth leather.

• 2:37:29Speaker 01

  I've never had boots.

• 2:37:31Joe Rogan?

  Boots are great, but the point is they don't hurt.

• 2:37:33Speaker 01

  I've never had cowboy boots. I've had Doc Marten, but not cowboy boots.

• 2:37:36Joe Rogan?

  Point is they don't hurt to wear, but ladies are always wearing shoes that hurt.

• 2:37:42Joe Rogan?

  What a crazy choice.

• 2:37:43Speaker 01

  Five inch heels, stilettos.

• 2:37:45Joe Rogan?

  That's probably why they have better pain tolerance, too. They have to give birth and they wear shoes that hurt all the time, so they have to deal with pain.

• 2:37:56Speaker 01

  We're so lucky we don't have any of that stupid shit.

• 2:37:59Joe Rogan?

  Imagine if we had to wear makeup every day? Imagine what it'd be like? Like Felipe, what have you done to your eyes?

• 2:38:04Speaker 01

  I don't know, man, I put mercury on them.

• 2:38:06Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that interesting? Like, women, all, I mean, most, lot, let's say a lot of women, wear makeup every day. Or wake up, make up regularly. On a regular basis, they wear makeup. It's not a very rare occasion thing. Most, I don't know what the number is. Want to find out? Let's, let's Google it. Because that's probably, a lot of that stuff's probably not healthy for you either, right? What's in those colors? What's, what kind of dyes are they using?

• 2:38:29Speaker 01

  The red dye, huh?

• 2:38:30Joe Rogan?

  Like, what is all that stuff made out of? Are we sure? I mean, maybe some of it's really good for you, maybe some of it's terrible for you. Maybe it's just like the scented candle thing.

• 2:38:37Speaker 01

  The lipstick, well, I know the lipsticks, well, the native lipsticks is made out of smashed little bugs.

• 2:38:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that, that's one of the red dye things, too, right?

• 2:38:45Speaker 01

  Smashed little bugs, and you put them on here.

• 2:38:47Joe Rogan?

  Can't be bad for you, right?

• 2:38:50Speaker 01

  It couldn't be better than a horse up your ass.

• 2:38:52Joe Rogan?

  So, what percentage?

• 2:38:53Speaker 02

  Forty-three percent reported.

• 2:38:55Joe Rogan?

  Okay, forty-three percent of US women reported wearing makeup daily or weekly. But it doesn't break out the daily portion explicitly. Rewinding to 2019, the same source noted a higher share of women wearing makeup daily. Gen Z, eighteen to twenty-four, at thirty percent, and millennials, twenty-five to thirty-four, at thirty-five percent, suggesting a decline over time. Separate 2023 YouGov poll of a thousand US women found that thirty-eight percent wear makeup at least a few times a week or daily, with older women sixty-five plus being the most likely to wear it daily compared to younger groups. They probably wore, all wore it daily back in the day, right? You gotta keep up your looks, Gladys. Go that back, back up again, please?

• 2:39:39Joe Rogan?

  Another study from 2017 by Statista indicated forty-one percent of US women aged thirty to fifty-nine wear makeup daily.

• 2:39:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was a woman, um, back in, I don't know if the eighteen-hundred or nineteen-hundred, she was the first woman to make a woman's magazine on clothing and home gardening, how to cook, she was the first lady to put recipes in a magazine.

• 2:40:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah?

• 2:40:04Speaker 01

  Kind of like for a homemaker.

• 2:40:06Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:40:06Speaker 01

  And then, yeah. There was nothing, there was a magazine back then, I don't know what the name of the magazine, but...

• 2:40:12Joe Rogan?

  Jamie, Google, uh, is makeup bad for you?

• 2:40:16Joe Rogan?

  What do you think?

• 2:40:16Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 2:40:17Joe Rogan?

  Uh, Google is makeup toxic?

• 2:40:19Speaker 01

  When I was a kid, my seventh grade teacher thought it was bad. Put on, don't put on that makeup, young girl.

• 2:40:24Speaker 02

  There's toxic makeup for sure.

• 2:40:27Joe Rogan?

  Wait, are the, whatever, what are the ingredients in makeup that are toxic?

• 2:40:31Speaker 02

  The Wizard of Oz guy got.

• 2:40:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right.

• 2:40:33Speaker 01

  The lady with the green makeup, yes.

• 2:40:35Joe Rogan?

  Bro, no, the lady with the green makeup, the Wizard of Oz, or the Tin Man.

• 2:40:39Speaker 01

  The witch.

• 2:40:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they got real sick, man. Yes, some makeup can be toxic. Wow. Lead, mercury, and arsenic, heavy metals can be found in cosmetics. Thallates, common contaminant in cosmetics. Formaldehyde, a chemical found in some makeup.

• 2:40:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, that's why a lot of comedians back then stopped blackfacing.

• 2:40:57Joe Rogan?

  Bah!

• 2:40:58Speaker 01

  Hey!

• 2:41:03Joe Rogan?

  Man, that's scary shit. That's scary shit. I wonder if that contributes to a higher incidence of certain, um, issues, health issues that maybe women have that wear, use daily.

• 2:41:15Speaker 01

  I wonder how many, um...

• 2:41:17Joe Rogan?

  God wonder, right?

• 2:41:18Speaker 01

  How about the, um, the people that worked the news back then in the 450, they were a shitload of makeup.

• 2:41:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah. And what the fuck kind of makeup did they have back then? That was probably all chemicals.

• 2:41:29Speaker 01

  Cake makeup, man, that was big.

• 2:41:31Joe Rogan?

  What the fuck?

• 2:41:31Speaker 01

  Phil Donahue shit.

• 2:41:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yeah, man, like, you don't have to wear that, ladies. We're not, we're not that complicated.

• 2:41:39Speaker 01

  You guys gotta wear makeup when you do UFC fights?

• 2:41:42Joe Rogan?

  No, I don't, I don't wear anything. I'm like, are you crazy? I have to go in there with dudes who literally have their head split open. You know? I have to interview people that are soaked in blood and sometimes the blood is spitting out onto the microphone while I'm talking.

• 2:41:56Speaker 01

  That happens?

• 2:41:57Joe Rogan?

  All the time. I get blood on me all the time. Like, the idea of me wearing makeup to look better while I'm out there, while they're dealing with people that just got their face punched in is crazy. That's ridiculous. I won't do it.

• 2:42:10Speaker 01

  So when they're speaking to you, like, when you get a fighter that's real bloody, like, you can, what's, what's, um, because you, you, you're really up close to these guys. What do you see on their eyes after a fight, like, when they're, and they're also bleeding, man? Do you see, like... You see like their intensity, man, you see things like other people don't see when you're interviewing them.

• 2:42:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, I'm sure you see something.

• 2:42:31Speaker 01

  You've been in the, you're there in a fight, right in front of them.

• 2:42:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I think you're probably gonna get more of a sense of how they feel after it's over. Like, there's like some historic moments where you could see that when the fighter wins, it's like, it's a big fucking deal. And, uh, one of my favorite ones was when Israel Adesanya had his second UFC fight against Alex Pereira. And he knocks him down, knocks him out, cold, beautiful, c- clean right hand, then finished him on the ground, and then fires off three arrows into his body.

• 2:42:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I remember that guy. Yes, yes.

• 2:43:00Joe Rogan?

  I mean, that was a fucking c- classic moment. And then he grabs a microphone and gives like one of the most inspirational speeches. Like, pu- pull that speech up.

• 2:43:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:43:10Joe Rogan?

  Cause it's amazing. This is my favorite moment, I think, of anybody after they won a fight. Because it's just like, this was real, in the moment, from a guy who's the fucking boogeyman, dude. Alex Pereira is the boogeyman. He's the scariest motherfucker in the sport. He knocked Izzy out twice. He left hook KO'd him in kickboxing, and then he beat him down in the UFC, and then Izzy finally knocked him out. And when he knocked him out, when he fires those arrows into his body, and then... See if you can find that speech. And when you hear it, man, you're like, wow. That's like, that's what, that's what makes the whole career worth it. These moments where you reach out.

• 2:43:51Speaker 01

  Oh, I remember that kid, yeah.

• 2:43:52Joe Rogan?

  And you touch the world. I hope every one of you can feel this level of happiness just one time in your life.

• 2:44:02Joe Rogan?

  You'll never feel this level of happiness if you don't go for something. When they knock you down, when they talk [BLEEP] about you. If you stay down, you will never, ever get that resolve. Fortify your mind and feel this level of happiness as you rise. One time in your life, but I'm blessed to be able to feel this [BLEEP] again and again and again and again and again. Amazing. Amazing. That's like human fuel. You hear someone saying something like that after doing something like that, that can help you all throughout your day. That's human fuel.

• 2:44:39Joe Rogan?

  Amazing.

• 2:44:43Joe Rogan?

  Amazing.

• 2:44:44Speaker 01

  If you're gonna go, go all the way or don't even try.

• 2:44:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:44:49Speaker 01

  Charles Bukowski.

• 2:44:51Joe Rogan?

  That guy was out there.

• 2:44:52Speaker 01

  If you're gonna go, go all the way or don't even try, this could mean losing girlfriends, this could mean losing wives, relatives, it could be time spent in jail, lonely nights in the dark, lonely nights by yourself.

• 2:45:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:45:07Speaker 01

  But in the end, it's all worth it. I don't know the rest.

• 2:45:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's a great. He was, did you ever see the movie they did on with Mickey Rourke?

• 2:45:14Speaker 01

  Both.

• 2:45:15Joe Rogan?

  They did two movies?

• 2:45:15Speaker 01

  They did one with Matt Dillon called Factotum, too.

• 2:45:18Joe Rogan?

  When was that?

• 2:45:19Speaker 01

  That came out in like in two thousand something and he plays um, there's Barfly and there's Factotum.

• 2:45:26Joe Rogan?

  Ah.

• 2:45:26Speaker 01

  Factotum, he plays him at that age.

• 2:45:29Joe Rogan?

  He's way too handsome.

• 2:45:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 2:45:31Joe Rogan?

  How dare he?

• 2:45:32Speaker 01

  He plays him good.

• 2:45:33Joe Rogan?

  How dare he?

• 2:45:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:45:34Joe Rogan?

  He's way too handsome. That's outrageous. Mickey Rourke made himself look fucked up. A toast to all my friends, you know, he like.

• 2:45:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. Charles Bukowski is actually in Barfly, he's one of the, one of the drunks in the bar.

• 2:45:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:45:50Speaker 01

  All women in the world aren't whore, just mine.

• 2:45:56Joe Rogan?

  You ever see one of those um, readings that he used to do? He used to do these readings, he'd read from his books and people would yell and he fucking, you have hecklers and shit and yell out to them. He's just a, a guy, just constantly drunk with profound.

• 2:46:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. When I, when I, when I started reading, I wanted to read books about authors that were from Los Angeles, like in the forties and fifties, cause he's from the, and I said, I gotta find something that, that talks about Los Angeles, these streets that I live in. And there was Charles Bukowski, he writes about Los Angeles and I found out that his inspiration was a guy named, um, man, what's his name? He, he, he, he writes just like Charles Bukowski. He wrote a, he wrote a book called Ask the Dust and um, The Adventures of Arturo Bandini. I'm I'm lost here of his of his name, but he John Fonte, yes, John Fonte.

• 2:46:52Speaker 01

  John Fonte wrote books in the style of Chalbukowski and um. Chalbukowski, when um, when he found out about him, he helped him um. Publish all his books again, so that's why I know that John Fonte exists because Chalbukowski. He republished all his books for him when he was dying of diabetes. So after this, bro, he talks about Los Angeles during nineteen thirty two, bro, when Los Angeles. Had a a metro rail and the world, the nineteen thirty two um earthquake in Los Angeles.

• 2:47:26Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:47:27Speaker 01

  So this it it's all about this guy from Los Angeles, he talks about Armenians and. Working the docks in nineteen twenties.

• 2:47:35Joe Rogan?

  Wow, that's a great catch.

• 2:47:37Speaker 01

  And they're alcoholics, bro, this guy's an alcoholic and. So is Chalbukowski, these are dudes that work jobs and still were authors.

• 2:47:45Joe Rogan?

  Imagine going from those guys to TikTokers at Boa.

• 2:47:50Speaker 01

  Exactly. Yeah, exactly, like these guys actually had jobs during the day. Chalbukowski, he worked at the post office, he never worked, he never quit.

• 2:48:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:48:01Speaker 01

  And Arturo Brandini, well, what's his name, the other guy, he. He his, he started writing for Hollywood and he just disappeared.

• 2:48:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:48:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:48:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, like writing screenplays and stuff.

• 2:48:12Speaker 01

  He got into under contract.

• 2:48:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, man, there's a lot of like talented writers who just decide to write for a company. It's kind of like give up on the dream and do it for a job.

• 2:48:21Speaker 01

  Get hired to be a writer and then you said, this is not for me.

• 2:48:25Joe Rogan?

  Uh, I got a book deal once and I gave them the money back because they were, they had too much input. They wanted to have too much input and want to, and then they wanted me to transcribe my stand up. That was one of their ideas, I'm like, that's a terrible idea. They're like, they're like George Carlin did, I'm like, well, that's fine, I'm, I love George Carlin, but so what? I'm not doing that, like, that doesn't make any sense to me, like, why would I want like the worst version of what the ideas are? Which is just print, the best version is a live performed version, second best version is a video. Worst for sure is print, audio is slightly better. But it's like, you don't want to do that. Why would I do that? That's a dumb way to write a book. I just want to write about things that I'm thinking about.

• 2:49:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, why would you write your whole set list on a book?

• 2:49:05Joe Rogan?

  And then I realized, if I'm gonna write something, I have to want to, and it has to be something that I do, because I'm controlling the entire thing, and then if they like it, they like it, if they don't, they don't. But it's, it's not something that I would ever want to have somebody help me out with.

• 2:49:20Speaker 02

  According to this article about him, part of the reason why he didn't explode when other writers did is because his publisher was in a legal battle for an unauthorized publication of Mein Kampf.

• 2:49:29Joe Rogan?

  Whoa!

• 2:49:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't know that. That's good to know.

• 2:49:31Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 2:49:35Joe Rogan?

  Holy shit.

• 2:49:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:49:38Speaker 02

  That kind of drained their resources.

• 2:49:39Joe Rogan?

  The financial drain on the publisher hampered the distribution of Ask the Dust.

• 2:49:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:49:43Joe Rogan?

  While Fan put out a short story collection, Dago Red, in 1940, more than a decade would pass before another Bandini novel. Wow.

• 2:49:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, he disappeared.

• 2:49:52Speaker 02

  Created, then was a bunch of stories about this fake.

• 2:49:55Speaker 01

  He used to live in downtown L.A.

• 2:49:56Joe Rogan?

  He got in a legal battle with Adolf Hitler.

• 2:49:58Speaker 02

  Well, his publisher did, but yeah.

• 2:50:00Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 2:50:02Speaker 01

  Crazy, huh? Insane.

• 2:50:03Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy. Dude, I'm gonna read that. Is it on audio? I hope it's on audiobook. I'm so lazy. Sitting down and actually reading a book right now, it's too daunting. It's too daunting. Felipe, one more time, Tell Everybody Special on Netflix, available right now.

• 2:50:22Speaker 01

  Oh, my Netflix special is available right now, Raging Fool on Netflix. Go check it out, directed by my wife Lisa O'Daniel. And I want to give a shout out to my, my, um, my brother-in-law, who listens to you religiously with his daughters, Johnny O'Daniel. What's up, boo?

• 2:50:42Joe Rogan?

  Shout out to Johnny.

• 2:50:43Speaker 01

  In Dayton, Ohio.

• 2:50:44Joe Rogan?

  All right. Instagram, all that shit, what is it?

• 2:50:47Speaker 01

  Oh, my Instagram is Felipe Esparza. My, my website is felipesworld.com. I'll be in, I don't know when this airs, I'll be in Grand Rapids, Iowa, and Indianapolis, Helium. But, um...

• 2:51:03Joe Rogan?

  One of those states.

• 2:51:04Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 2:51:05Joe Rogan?

  Okay. Go to the website, go to the website.

• 2:51:07Speaker 01

  April 5th, I'll be in San Diego with Paul Rodriguez, and April 20th... Fifth, I'll be in San Diego with a bunch of comedians.

• 2:51:14Joe Rogan?

  Beautiful. All right.

• 2:51:15Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 2:51:15Joe Rogan?

  Always good to see you, my brother.

• 2:51:16Speaker 01

  Thank you, bro. Happy to be here.

• 2:51:17Joe Rogan?

  Thanks for being here. All right, bye, buddy.