#614 - New York Circus

Theo is back to talk about the circus coming to Nashville, new glasses, and what happened this past weekend in New York City. Big thanks to Joey Diaz, Bonnie McFarlane, and Lee Kimbrell for their help with the special taping. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/theo to get your $20 bonus investment today. Neuro Gum: Go to http://neurogum.com and use THEO for 20% off your first order. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. ShipStation: Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/theo. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. Okay. Happy October. That's where we are today. Good to be here with you, here in the fall. We are pretty much into the fall now.

• 1:27Theo Von?

  As the calendar, you start to fall off the end of the year.

• 1:31Theo Von?

  And then just bam, you just land right there in Santa's arms over there. Around December 25th, baby, that's where we at.

• 1:41Theo Von?

  I got some new glasses, I guess.

• 1:47Theo Von?

  They're new to me. I don't know, I'm sure they weren't used or whatever. They're B+, I guess, my thing, my vision is B plus, or some B12, what is it? I don't know, they're pretty, they're pretty good, I guess. It helps me read. I didn't know I needed glasses, you know? And then, I guess, I don't know if I was in like a dark restaurant or whatever, next thing you know, I'm at the eye shop and I got these bitches, baby. And so I'm enjoying them, I think.

• 2:18Theo Von?

  I will say this, I don't know, I can't, some people I can't see anymore, so it's kind of,

• 2:24Theo Von?

  I'm not saying these things are making racial choices for me, but they're definitely, uh, these things don't want to get a good look at everybody, you know, so, I may have to mail them back, I'm not sure, but I'm running on about an eight foot radius, or whatever, 12 foot radius maybe in these, so, uh, if you want, you know, get close if you need me, you know, um, but yeah, cuz I fucking, dude, I was, my short sight was getting kinda rocky, you know, I'd go in for a hug and I'd miss that bitch, I'd be like, damn. You'd go in to hug somebody and hug the wrong person, you're like, shit, who's that, you know, that's somebody's damn husband or some, you know, you don't even, you know, you go in to hug a decent woman and you end up over there,

• 3:07Theo Von?

  you know, and you just up near some man's neck or something, it just, so I think getting your visual is important, and so that's kinda what I'm, I guess, doing, I gotta get, yeah, I think these bitches are B, or, B plus, I don't know, I gotta, I gotta look at the, um, package or whatever. I got these bitches online, they came, they just wrote the size of them on the back or something, I think it was like 38, 42 or, I don't know, I gotta look and see, I got a fucking, kind of a big head, um, what else? Thank you guys for being here, uh, the circus is coming to town, I just saw that, I don't know if there's any circus lovers, but the circus is back.

• 3:51Theo Von?

  You know, and when I was a child, the circus was a big thing. You know, you had a couple times throughout the year, you'd get this little ticket at school, and it'd say on it circus at the top.

• 4:05Theo Von?

  And it'd say like Willie's Circus, you know, or Risky Ricks Circus, you know? And it would say like, admit one, just on this ticket, you could get it anywhere. So they were just giving out free tickets, you know?

• 4:20Theo Von?

  And it would be like this petting zoo fucking rocks, it would say, or something like that on the back. Or where petting zoos go to fuck. It would say shit like that's, that's a lot. Um, but it was a big deal back then. When the circus came. Cause you'd see them setting up in that big top, that tent. And they wheel all animals in there.

• 4:44Theo Von?

  And some of the animals, they'd been through a lot. They looked like they'd maybe just got back from war or something war two or something. You know, they, some of them missing an ear, missing, you know, have a fake ear. You know, they'd have an elephant, but then one of his ears, they'd have just two, you know. They'd put a damn potted plant in the hole over there and you have a damn elephant ear plant growing out of the side, you know, it was. And they'd paint that bitch gray over there.

• 5:09Theo Von?

  You'd see a guy on a ladder, just painting that elephant, you know, just painting a big plant ear gray, just trying to. Line it all up and they put a big bow tie on him. Call him big ginger or whatever. Spray paint red hair on his back. There, you know, it was just, you know, you, you'd see a giraffe, but that bitch had a short neck on him. You're like, God. You'd see a damn giraffe. He was four foot four and that bitch was just, you know, pissed too. Pissed. It almost looked like if you tickled him the right way, his neck would just. Just.

• 5:41Theo Von?

  You know, get to the right size. You know, he was just like that wide neck. Remember that fellow wide neck that was running around? He was a, um. Kind of an African American, like. Running back that only played drugs or whatever. Like, you know what I'm saying? He didn't have a sport. And that was the circus and it meant something. You were excited about it. And you'd talk about it at school and you'd go over there.

• 6:05Theo Von?

  And I just saw the flyer that I knew when it's, it was, it's called the circus. It's like a. It kind of had looked like a, like a Circus du Soleil, like a Circus du Soleil circus, kind of, you know, uh. It just looked like a, um, like a rave for children, kind of. You know, they had a couple of damn drones out there. You know, Palantir just shooting popcorn into kids mouths and stuff. Just, you know, it had a different sort of etiquette to it. And I don't even know if they had any animals. They had a couple of kinda gender neutral dudes just kinda whistling in each other's mouths type of deal. You know, they had a blind fella just kinda, just singing Fred again lyrics and stuff. It's just gotten very, uh, progressive. It feels like the circus.

• 6:47Theo Von?

  You know, they, they used to have real animals. You'd go out there, you'd see a couple monkeys out there. And you're over there and one of them be smalking for you. And they, you know, you pay, get you 50 cents over there. Go visit that smocking monkey. See if he'll ash on your mama's back, you know, or something. And they had long arms. They'd ash on a, ash in a baby carriage or something like that. It was, you know, it was more involved. They let the animals live a little.

• 7:16Theo Von?

  You know, and they, they used to have real lions too. They'd have, you know, they had back, back then they had real lions. Now you got a couple, you got a couple of hardy women over there wearing Aidan Hutchinson jerseys. You know, and just complaining that their breasts are too big. Now they got a, uh, gluten-free concession stand. Just a, you know, uh, they, the peanut allergies. They got that. So it's, you know. Back in the day, they had a dude, you would find a dude at the circus with a peanut allergy. They would find that dude. They would give him a couple handfuls of peanuts and then send that bitch running through a ring of fire, baby.

• 7:56Theo Von?

  While people in the crowd sang, "For those about to rock."

• 8:03Theo Von?

  Now it's just, they find a dude with a peanut allergy, right? They put him in a hazmat suit. They have him run and jump through a ring of, uh, peanuts. Into his two mother's arms. So it's, I'm just saying, yeah, it's just a different time, man. It's just a different time. And that's what time does. It keeps making things different, doesn't it? Man, time does not like to wear the same outfit, baby. That's the truth. Time likes to, uh...

• 8:33Theo Von?

  Time likes every minute just freshly ironed, baby, right out the package.

• 8:39Theo Von?

  Time is just, you know, it's just, he likes to feel brand new, baby. But god, that circus was fun. You go over there and sometimes some of the circus workers, they just set themselves on fire and just collect damn workman's comp right there, right in front of you. Fuck. People would cheer and just damn, just, you know, god and just pray.

• 8:59Theo Von?

  So yeah, it was just a different time, man. Um, that's the circus. That's the circus. It's back.

• 9:08Theo Von?

  And we had a circus, we had a circus last week in New York, in New York City. And I want to talk about that. I want to, uh, I want to just go through it because there's like a lot of stuff out there, speculation and all of that. And I want to just get super clear on it, right? Because I think a lot of people, um, don't know, like, what went on. And it wasn't that crazy what went on. And I wish it was going to be a more exciting story, but I just want to, uh, yeah, I just want to share with you kind of what happened, I guess. And I don't want to make it a big deal, but I think, I, but I do want to like, just kind of go into it, right?

• 9:50Theo Von?

  You know, so mental health is important to me, right? It's important to me. We talk about that kind of stuff on here a lot. And, hold on.

• 10:03Theo Von?

  And yeah, it's like, it's a, I think it's been something that we talk about a great deal and just think about and kind of explore, right? So, so I had a comedy special that we were taping. We were taping it last week. And about a, and about a month before I started, I quit taking, uh, some antidepressants I was taking. You know, I just kind of self-weaned myself off.

• 10:28Theo Von?

  And the reason why was because I wanted, like during the comedy show, I wanted to have a little bit more emotion during it. I wanted to have this kind of, like, I just wanted to have some more feelings. You know, if, um, if you've ever taken antidepressants, or if you haven't, uh, they, it kind of takes away your feelings, kinda, you know, uh, so you just kind of stay in this space where you're okay. And it's nice, it's a safe space, but you don't, uh, you're like the astronaut that kind of stays on the ship sometimes. And you get to do the thumbs up and shit, but other dudes are like, you know, there,

• 11:10Theo Von?

  people, other people are out there. Um, anyway, so I quit taking my medication because I wanted to have a little bit more feelings during the show. I wanted to be able to talk about stuff a little bit more that meant something to me and put it into the comedy show. So, that, that was all going fine, right? I was doing fine with that. We're headed into the comedy show and then the, the Charlie Kirk thing happened, right? The Charlie Kirk murder happened, which is really crazy. You know, it was just a crazy thing. Uh, I've talked about it before. I'm not going to talk about it anymore right now. Um, but

• 11:51Theo Von?

  a few days after that, or maybe a week after that, they, the Department of Homeland Security put a video up online talking about, uh, they started making like trap beat edits and like banger edits to evicting people from the country, right? Or eliminating, um, illegal, illegals, maybe some criminals, some people just undocumented, all, you know, just across the spectrum, right? So-

• 12:23Theo Von?

  They put a video of mine that I'd made for somebody in a parking lot, probably like maybe a year and a half ago, just jokingly. They put, I think it was a year and a half ago. They put it in at the front of this Department of Homeland Security, like trap beat, I think they had like, I'm not sure if they had like Young Boilers or whatever they had. But it was uh, it was kinda, it was ridiculous. And the video was a girl had walked up to me in a parking lot and she had said, "Hey, my friend just got deported." What do you have to say? Or do you have a message? I can't remember what it was. And I was just like, "Bye," you know? And I didn't know if it was real and I had no idea. I was just joking around. It's a stranger came up to me in a parking lot. I think it was after a show

• 13:08Theo Von?

  and there were some people gathered around and we were just kind of like, um, BSing and taking, uh, pictures and just kind of associating, right? So, anyway, long story short, that happens. So this video goes mega viral, 25 million, 30 million views, it's everywhere. And the front of the D, of that Homeland Security video, it's on the White House thing, it's on everything. It's, it's everywhere. And the first 10 seconds of it are me, right? Like, I don't have anything to do with this shit. Nobody asked me about it. Um, you know, like, nobody said, "Hey, this is gonna hap," like, and, and I have a lot of different thoughts about immigration, right? They're

• 13:51Theo Von?

  like showing people getting arrested, like, it's just an intense thing, like, and why is the government even making these? I don't know. I, but that's where we're at in the world. And, and I have a lot of thoughts about immigration, right? I have a ton of them. And we don't need to go into them all right now. I've talked about them on other episodes. Um, I feel like they're doing a lot of bookkeeping in the country right now because we're gonna get into a surveillance state and everyone is gonna have to be on the books, right? So, that's where I believe that we're headed. Um, but this was just wild, you know, and people are like sending messages and like hateful stuff and, you know, you think all these illegal shit and all this type of shit and like, I could talk to you ad nauseam about that, but...

• 14:36Theo Von?

  But this wasn't the time for it, it just was something that they used and put out there and everybody saw, right? So I'm getting a ton of hateful stuff. And, and, and, and I'm trying to remember everything. I'm trying to kind of remember everything right now and, um. But this video goes everywhere and I'm getting like a lot of like, dude, what the fu- just all kinds of shit, right? Like my phone just blown, I'm like, what the hell? It's just like the last thing I needed, right? There's a week left to this special, um, and this happens, you know, this thing comes out. And my father immigrated here from Nicaragua, right? Like one of my prized possessions is I have his immigration papers when he came here. And I have them in a frame and, um, him and his, uh, siblings when they came here. And so I have tons of thoughts about it, but this, this was just fucked up, right?

• 15:21Theo Von?

  It was fucked up and it was everywhere. It was like on all platforms and stuff. So, so that had me really kind of paranoid. You know, that had me start to get kind of paranoid and, um, you know, like closing, like, you know, I had the curtains in my house kind of closed. I was just like, you know, you're paranoid. I woke up the next morning. Sorry, I need some water.

• 15:51Theo Von?

  I woke up the next morning to a text from a high government official saying, hey, if you need, uh, some extra security in your neighborhood, um, or some extra police cars on patrol, let me know. And I'm like, what? What are you talking about? Extra security? I don't have any, like, you know, I don't even know the code to my Ring camera. Like, I don't even know how to log in. So it's like, and then, and like, what, you're just gonna put police cars in my neighborhood? What are my neighbors gonna think? Now they're fearful, like it just like, I don't know, man. That, that like really kind of shook me. It really kind of shook me.

• 16:29Theo Von?

  But you just, you keep marching on, you know, and you start getting security and then now, but now you have security, right?

• 16:37Theo Von?

  And the thing is, you just don't know. You just don't know. Right, there was a moment on the, like, it was White House, because the White House also put this out, thank you White House,

• 16:51Theo Von?

  that, and look, I'm all for like, the board, I'm all for tighter boards, I'm all for like, accurate knowing who's on, I'm all for knowing who is in a country, I'm all for knowing what's in the cupboard of a society. I think you should know every, I think you should know every item on the log, I think it should be known, right? I do. Now, how do you get there? That's the bigger question, and we don't have to discuss that today, right? It's not about that.

• 17:15Theo Von?

  And sorry, I'm going slow here, I'm trying to piece this together.

• 17:20Theo Von?

  So,

• 17:22Theo Von?

  now I have this thing with security, but then you get a security person, and they, now you're, if you're walking on a security guard, then that's kind of uncomfortable. Because now you're like, it kind of makes you spooked, you're like, what's going on? So there's just like, all of that's happening, and then we get to just the jo, the job, right? Like, which is performing, speaking in front of strangers. Like, you had just seen this thing with Charlie Kirk, right? It's, like, like, we all watched somebody get lit up. We all watched somebody get murdered casually on our phones, right? Like,

• 17:58Theo Von?

  and I don't mean to say it like that, but that's how it all, it came across to us. There's no warning on a lot of videos you see, and like, so just, lot of, uh, I think, unnecessary pressure, a lot of stress going on that I did, some of it I was aware of, and some of it, you just don't know you're aware of it, I think.

• 18:19Theo Von?

  You know, because I think like, um,

• 18:24Theo Von?

  like, you just, sometimes you don't know what stress you're holding. You know, one day there was a, I got a call from a friend of mine and they said they were going into rehab. And I just started bawling, right? And I didn't realize that there was a part of me that was waiting to hear that from them. And that it uh, it really made me feel some type of way, you know? So sometimes it's like you just don't know what stress is you're holding. Anyway. Uh, so, so anyway, so we get to the, the shows, right? We're there and it's a lot, you know? It's a lot. There's a lot of like last minute choices to be made. Um, it seemed to go messier than the past specials that I'd taped.

• 19:07Theo Von?

  Right? It seemed to be a lot more confusion and it all could have been just kind of my perception, right? Because what started to happen was on this day, I was starting to feel uh, a little bit.

• 19:20Theo Von?

  Like, I don't know if manic is the word. I don't know what manic means. I've said manic, but I don't manic meaning. Let me see. What does it mean when someone is manic?

• 19:32Theo Von?

  Oh, it says trying to meet mans. That's the first one. Like this is fucking, see? This is how bad shit's gotten. You're, you know, you're trying to figure out if you have some sort of an anxiety disorder. And next thing you know, you're getting damn emails from a, a local men's bar or whatever. It is defined as an extremely unstable euphoric or irritable mood along with an excessive activity or energy level. Okay. Excessively rapid thought and speech. I probably could have used a little more of that. Um, so I, I think I started to feel kind of mildly manic. I think it was just being off the medication. I think, uh. And it wasn't insane. It was just little things like the second I got on stage, the first show, my, I couldn't feel any moisture in my mouth. And I started to feel like, um, you ever remember that feeling if you were in high school and you got high?

• 20:17Theo Von?

  And then you were standing there talking to your friends and you were just too high and you were just literally standing there just trying to pretending to be yourself a little bit? So I had a little bit of that going on.

• 20:30Theo Von?

  And it started off choppy. The first show, it started off kind of choppy. We, we were doing like a new intro with Joey Diaz at the last minute. And he was pretty goomed up, you know, he's cocoa. And, uh, and it was a blessing that he was there, but we hadn't ran through it. And so it was just like a lot of, um, like things at the last minute.

• 20:51Theo Von?

  But yeah, I'm on stage and the second half of the first show went good. And there were some beats that I got that had like an emotional piece to them that I wanted. And that felt exciting. But, but the whole show, it was, it was, uh, there were parts where I just couldn't remember the next thing. I couldn't remember like my next sequence. Like I was having trouble just keeping track of stuff. And that's when I really was like, oh, man, I'm, uh, I'm just off tonight. You know, I just, you know, it is just like, I'm just off tonight.

• 21:29Theo Von?

  And I even, I think I remember saying to the audience, like, thank you guys just for being here for me, you know, like, uh, and, and the audience was cool, man. People were, were happy to be there. They were super stoked when I came out. I started to feel bad that I wasn't giving them the best show, but the show ended up going a little bit long, blah, blah, blah. We get to halftime or in between the two shows. And Chris Rock is backstage. He's there. My favorite, right? Like, I mean, I see Chris Rock smiling, you just feel like

• 22:01Theo Von?

  it's gonna be good. You know, this is, it's almost like when, you know, somebody that was good in class at making a good joke? And then you see him and you're like, oh, the Michael Jordan has arrived, you know, like that thing, like, so anyway, seeing him and it kind of like, I kinda, I was like almost way so excited about seeing him. Like I was very excited, but then I realized I was kind of over excited.

• 22:29Theo Von?

  He enjoyed the show. You know? And, and so I went into the second show feeling like, okay, I gotta figure some of this out. I couldn't tell if people were like being like legit, like, okay, was it good? Was it bad? What was going on? And then I took an ice bath between the shows. I was doing my yoga, the same usual stuff I do.

• 22:54Theo Von?

  Anyway, sorry, I know this is getting long, but uh, and then we did the second show and the second show was started out fire. First 22 minutes were cooking and then I just, I couldn't remember stuff. And we didn't put a teleprompter. We like, we've done it for other specials. We didn't do it. And that was a bad choice. I don't know if I probably made the choice for sure. I don't remember. But so I had to ask for hell, you know, I was like having to ask offstage because I wanted to get everything in sequence. You know, and I think I got stuck on this like sequence thing and um, and it was just hard, man. It just, you know, I just did,

• 23:34Theo Von?

  I didn't feel like myself. I felt like I was trying to kind of pretend to be myself. And it wasn't insane or extreme. It just, that was it. And we got to the end of the show and we were standing around afterwards with the uh, producers and the director, my friend Kevin and just like, did we get it? You know, did we get it?

• 24:05Theo Von?

  Excuse me. Did we get it good enough? You know, because I, I want this special to be, you know, you know, you, you do the material for so long. And my buddy Neil Brennan said this the other day before it. He said, uh, I got a hair in my eyes today. He said, dude, this is the last time you'll ever spend with this material. You know, it's really the last time you'll probably ever do it. And, and this material's been, it's been a friend to me over the years. It's been, you know, it's taken me around the world. You know, it's gotten me to see a lot of people that uh, love me and that I love. Um, so that was just a neat sentiment of a way to like embrace the material and stuff. But I was just at the end of the night. I was like, I don't know if

• 24:46Theo Von?

  we got it. And they're like, yeah, well, let's edit together something and see. And I was like, okay, but I just, I don't, I couldn't feel the magic, you know, I just was off. And, and that was it. We left the show, we left the theater.

• 25:03Theo Von?

  We took pictures, you know, I went up by the stage at the end of the, at the end of each show and we're like taking pictures of people that are sitting there. And, um, and that's when some girl, there was a clip of me,

• 25:15Theo Von?

  which I think this is what really like, this is what made things ridiculous. Where in passing, I just was like, or I don't, I don't know if it was in passing, I haven't seen the clip, honestly, and I haven't been online. I woke up the next day to like a bunch of things like, "Bro, what's up?" or things like that. And I was like, "Oh, my God." You know, what's going like, did, you know, did I, you know, did I steal somebody's horse? Did I hit somebody with a vehicle? You know, what, I have no idea. It was just kind of alarming. And then a buddy of mine sent me a clip and I could just see the outside and it was like, you could see me on stage. And then people were asking me about suicide and I was like, "Oh, God." You know?

• 26:00Theo Von?

  And I don't even remember exactly what I said, but I, I can certainly see me saying something like, "Oh, just try not to take my own life," you know?

• 26:09Theo Von?

  Which I, I understand it's not a joke to some people, right? It's not a joke to me.

• 26:16Theo Von?

  But it is something that I'll, you know, I'll say stuff sometimes. I say stuff, right? I, you, you know, you know that. If you've listened to this show before or seen anything, you know, I say stuff.

• 26:31Theo Von?

  I would never take my own life. I would never take my own life. Okay? You hear that, Israel?

• 26:39Theo Von?

  I would never take my own life.

• 26:42Theo Von?

  I'm grateful to God for his grace in my life.

• 26:49Theo Von?

  I love my siblings.

• 26:53Theo Von?

  I have so many friends and people that love me and people that I want to see their children grow up. I'm hopeful, I'm hopeful that I get to have a wife and meet my, and meet my own children one day. Like, there's a ton of things in my life that keep me alive and hopeful, right? I want to be able to have an impact in the world.

• 27:11Theo Von?

  Those are just a few of them, probably, you know? I mean, so many just moments we've shared on this show that I'm like, oh, I live for those things, you know? I mean, I wanna see Vandy win a, uh, a championship, so... I'm gonna have to be alive for a long time, you know what I'm saying? Type shit! Uh, so, but anyway... So, anyway, that was, you know, so I woke up to that, and I was like, oh, man.

• 27:44Theo Von?

  And I guess I had like a lot of different...

• 27:51Theo Von?

  Well, in addition to that, people wrote articles, "Oh, this is bad." And, look, it wasn't great. I didn't love it. And I had a lot of people that said it was great, though. Like, I had people say, "Dude, we loved it. It was great." So, but I didn't think it was, I didn't think it was perfect, you know, for sure. But I thought, let's just look at the edit and see. And so, we still haven't decided. We might shoot again some point. I don't know what's gonna go on.

• 28:23Theo Von?

  But there was just this energy now where it was like, everybody started checking on me, and, uh, I was like, "Oh, man, this is tough." And, and, and there's people that would think like, "Oh, well, he failed," or who wanna write up, write up something that says he failed, or make a meme. I saw one thing it said, uh, uh, "Bombs Netflix," or whatever, taping, or whatever. Awesome. Thank you, dude.

• 28:47Theo Von?

  But, homie, I was fucking in that bitch, cuz. You should've seen me, dog. You should've seen me! You know, you ever see that show, dog? And a lot of times, you'll see that dog show. And it's that, uh, Wista Minst- I think it's Wista Minsta? The Wista Minsta Dog Show. You see that bitch, boy? And they got some dogs in that bitch. And then they got that other, bruh. They got that other little, uh... That little, I mean, this bitch was just a little thought-waller, this bitch, you know? They got that little male thought-waller rolling up. You're like, "Damn, that little bitch." You know, he got a little, maybe an anklet on or something. Maybe he got a house arrest bracelet on his tail, but that bitch is in there. And they're like, "Damn, he ain't supposed to be here."

• 29:34Theo Von?

  But he's over there, he's listening to DMX, "We ride." And all the other dogs got all them crazy tricks and he just fucking, he'll gamble on his phone real quick or do something like that. Or he'll fucking run a parlay or something on his phone. And that's his trick. And he'll smoke a Virginia Slim right there and hit that bitch. You know what I'm saying? So anyway, what I'm saying is, bitch, I'm out there. I'm in the ring, bro.

• 30:02Theo Von?

  And I failed so many times, you could write, bruh, write what you want, big dog. Write what you want. It wasn't perfect, man, I'll agree to that.

• 30:14Theo Von?

  And if, you know, and if, I've gotten so used to, times I have failed, it's okay, I eat failure for breakfast, but I'm fucking, you fill me up with failure flakes over the years, kids.

• 30:28Theo Von?

  And it's okay, man. That's part of the job, the first 10 years of doing comedy is failure. So much of my life, the, the, the, the best things that have ever happened on my life have been on the other side of failure.

• 30:43Theo Von?

  And yeah, it would be great if one day we could all live in a space where we all, you know, we lived in a neighborhood where everybody, when they went out in the world, they was potentially gonna fail, boy.

• 30:55Theo Von?

  We riding right on the edge, baby.

• 30:59Theo Von?

  You know? And that we admire that about each other.

• 31:05Theo Von?

  So anyway, I'm not looking to like downplay it or make it, you know, we might reshoot it again, we'll see what happens and, um, and that's it, you know? Cause you don't, if you like, if you're not on that risk of failing, I don't know what I'm gonna be, if I'm not on that risk of failing, I don't know what I'm gonna be. It's like a bulb, you know, a plant bulb, if you saw

• 31:26Theo Von?

  like a plant bulb is kinda brave, right? Like a, uh, a floral bulb, right?

• 31:32Theo Von?

  Because if he just stays a bulb, he's just that little green little monster, right? That little nugget.

• 31:40Theo Von?

  But when he blasts open, he don't know what he's gonna get out that bit, bruh. He might be a rose, he might be a daffodil, brother. He might be a, um... He might be a damn succubus or whatever. He might be a gladioli. You don't know. When you pop that top, what you gonna get out of yourself? Imagine you walk through the woods and all the flowers are just loked out. They all just in hiding, bro. They're all in witness protection program, bulbs.

• 32:15Theo Von?

  But nah, they took that shot, pow, bitch. So, anyway, I don't know if I'm rambling or just fluffing my own ego. But, um... So that was it, man. And there was a video about, you know, and that, so... So that stuff happened, but then the thing that like made everything hectic was, uh... Someone recorded a video of me making a passive comment, joking around about, um... About suicide. And I didn't even mean to. I didn't know people were recording me at that time, I don't think. Or I don't think that they are anymore, and I think I gotta evolve in my own head that that's how things are now.

• 32:57Theo Von?

  So...

• 33:00Theo Von?

  And another thing that happened, I didn't even tell anybody this, but I went to the doctors like a couple weeks ago. This was like, I think, two days after the Charlie Kirk shooting. I went to the doctors. And, uh... And I'm in the doctor room, and it's just me and a nurse. And she comes in and I'm talking about, you know, I gotta get a checkup and everything where they do you nuts or whatever, you know? And so I'm talking, you know, we're talking about body and everything and, uh... You know, um... You know, talking about genitals or whatever, right? And body.

• 33:38Theo Von?

  And so, we have this conversation, and then the nurse, she says after... She says, uh...

• 33:48Theo Von?

  And she's like, hey, I brought, I brought something for you.

• 33:52Theo Von?

  And I'm like, huh?

• 33:54Theo Von?

  And she's like, I brought something for you.

• 33:58Theo Von?

  And it really spooked me, bro, because I'm in a doctor's office, right? This is a place where you think you can be safe. And, um, and man, that was a, that was a tough moment. My mom was in town and after that, I remember sitting in my car, sitting in my car with her. And I kind of got a little teared up because I was like, oh, man, no place is kind of safe anymore. You know, and the, the, the girl just wanted to do something nice, right? I, I think she wanted to give me something, I don't know. But it was just that invasiveness of like, man, this is like supposed to be a very private place. And I mentioned it to the doctor. And then I even, you know, I made sure that the nurse didn't feel like bad. You know, she's just trying to be a nice person. You know, I believe that her motives were in a good place.

• 34:44Theo Von?

  I don't hold any ill will against her. But it was just like, uh, I don't know, there was just a lot of little things that were adding up to stress. And so, um, yeah, that's what happened.

• 34:56Theo Von?

  And it's just been like, I've had so many people reach out. So thank you so much. I've had so many people say nice things. I can't believe, like, to me, it felt very kind of like in passing. And then I was just kind of burnt out.

• 35:12Theo Von?

  But just know that I'm, I'm never at a place like that. You know, I'm far from a place like that.

• 35:19Theo Von?

  You know, there may have been times when I was a kid or something where I had some negative, you know, some stuff was scary. But yeah, I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here. You're going to be here and we're going to be here together like we always been. And, um, and that was it. There was nothing else to the evening. We tried like to really keep things together.

• 35:42Theo Von?

  There was no drug issue. There was no like, I mean, when Coco showed up, there was smoke and he, you know, it's like, but there was no, uh, there wasn't like, it was just, there was just like, just the fuse was short going into it.

• 35:58Theo Von?

  The fuse was short going into it. I remember right when we got to the theater, some guy was supposed to show me to my dressing room. He took me on like a seven-minute journey out into the fucking caverns of some building. I don't even know where we were. We were like, there was like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles there. And I was like, oh fuck, I'm already, this is, I could feel my fuse being pretty low.

• 36:20Theo Von?

  So...

• 36:22Theo Von?

  But I still tried. I think that looking back, maybe I should have like pulled the cord. You know, I don't know though, you know? You don't, you don't kind of know until you know where you, until where you are, you know, and so... I don't think I would have done anything different. I made all the choices. I didn't realize how much stress I had and that's it.

• 36:39Theo Von?

  But I do want to, I do want to say this about suicide, right? Like...

• 36:46Theo Von?

  You know, a friend of mine, a close friend of mine,

• 36:50Theo Von?

  years ago, his sister,

• 36:54Theo Von?

  was dealing with a lot of stuff. She was dealing with a lot of stuff. And she couldn't say, she, she was having trouble talking about it, like, you know, she was having trouble talking about it. She didn't want to bother people.

• 37:11Theo Von?

  And she finally told a member of their family, and they didn't want to worry everybody in the family with it. And so they kind of told the rest of the family that she had mono and so she was suffering.

• 37:25Theo Von?

  And then...

• 37:29Theo Von?

  Like, within a year, she had taken her own life, right? She just couldn't handle where she was at. And I think it's, and I just want to say her name, Kristi Ann, and just let

• 37:43Theo Von?

  her know that people think of her and that her brothers love her, and that, um...

• 37:50Theo Von?

  And that she's an angel out in the universe, keeping tabs on people. And that's a beautiful thing.

• 37:58Theo Von?

  But I think about that story from my, from my buddy sometimes, and it's like, I think people get stuck in a space where like, yeah, I'm gonna bother somebody if I, or I've already told my friends so many times and I'm not doing good. I don't, none of that stuff matters. It's like, however you have to speak up about something if you have to, um...

• 38:18Theo Von?

  I think it's worth trying to, trying more. You know, and I don't know if that means anything.

• 38:28Theo Von?

  I'm just saying, yeah.

• 38:31Theo Von?

  I don't know what I'm saying. I think I just wanted to, uh...

• 38:37Theo Von?

  Just have a moment and just let it be known that, um... That that young lady is missed. I think maybe that's something that I just wanted to think about out loud. And that however you have to say something, say it. But I was just joking, man, and I know it's not something to joke about, and I get that. And I appreciate all, like, the beautiful concern and the thank yous and, like... Just the outpouring. I just started to feel like, God, I don't even know how to tell everybody that I was just joking. Um, and I joke about some dark stuff sometimes, and I joke about everything, and... Uh, I think that's what makes you able to do comedy sometimes. I don't know. I don't want to, like, look at myself too much like that, because that gets kind of egoy, but, um... But yeah, I'll be here forever.

• 39:20Theo Von?

  And we gotta see how this fucking circus goes, you know?

• 39:25Theo Von?

  We gotta see how this, how this short giraffe balls out! So, I love you. And, uh, and thank you for loving me. I could, it would take me forever to thank everybody for the nice messages. It really would. Um, but gosh, I'm fine. Don't treat me weird, don't be weird, I'm not weird, I'm chill, you're good. We ridin', bruh. We ridin', bruh. Type shit, boy. Um, let's get to a few calls that came in here. Um, and maybe we'll keep it in this space. Let me see what we got right here. Here's one right here. Let's get to it.

• 40:03Theo Von?

  "You know, I've always had a money goal. Have me a goal. Give me some money. Achieve that goal, that's been it. I wanted to go to Antarctica, or Antarctica Rica, that's what I used to think it was called, and it sounded more tropical when you say it like that." But later I found out it was freezing and you're not allowed, so had to change it up. But what I'm talking about is having a money goal. Acorns helps you grow towards the money goals you have today and the ones you'll have tomorrow. Acorns makes it easy to start doing more with your money. In fact, you can start automatically investing with just your spare change. I just got my nephew set up, so his spare change is accumulating while he's just doing his little life.

• 40:45Theo Von?

  Sign up now and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Plus, Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment. Offer available at acorns.com/THEO. That's A-C-O-R-N-S dot com slash Theo to get your $20 bonus investment today. Paid non-client endorsement, compensation provided, incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier two compensation provided, investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/THEO. You know, sometimes I feel like my brain just kind of leaves the building, just on it just like a school child at 3pm, they hear that bell, woo boy.

• 41:30Theo Von?

  And when my brain starts to check out, you gotta ask yourself, do I get me another coffee? What do I do? Do I have somebody tickle me? What do I do? There's a new option, that's Neuro Gum and Mints. Neuro gives you clean, focused energy without the crash, sugar, or sketchy ingredients. For me, it's the easiest upgrade I've made to my routine, swapping in the Neuro. Cause I like gum, I like having me something in my mouth. I like my mouth staying busy and just ocupado, a Spanish for busy. Neuro Energy and Focus is powered by natural green tea caffeine, L-theanine for calm focus, and vitamin B12 and B6 for better mood and metabolism. They've also got caffeine-free options, Memory and Focus Gum with American Genseng.

• 42:17Theo Von?

  That's a mental bump without the jitters right there. They've also got sleep and recharge mints with melatonin and chamomile. Helps you wind down at night without gummies that taste like melted Jolly Ranchers. For a limited time, you can get 20% off your first order at neurogum.com by using code Theo. That's neurogum.com and use code T H E O for 20% off your first order. You can also find Neuro at CVS and Amazon. You know, I've noticed over the years of how much it takes to make something go. You know, you can't, you can't just, uh, put a steering wheel and tie it to a couple of wheels. And then you got an automobile. You can't just put a business idea and, and, and open a website and then you got a business.

• 43:02Theo Von?

  You gotta put in the time. And I remember when we started podcasting, we, uh, we wanted to have a merch shop. So somebody could get them a little item, little tank top, little tank key or something to support the brand. But things started to get busy and, and, and, and, and the growth was outpacing the, uh, attention we were giving it. And we needed help. Thankfully ShipStation was there. ShipStation centralizes your shipping tasks into one easy platform. And their rate browser automatically finds you the best rates across more than 200 carriers at discounts up to 90%. That's right. And you can automate repetitive or tedious tasks to save time and reduce errors.

• 43:44Theo Von?

  You can even create custom automations just for your workflow. Upgrade to the shipping software that does more than keep up with your business. ShipStation propels it forward. Start your 60 day free trial at shipstation.com/theo. That's shipstation.com/ Theo. As always, you know, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, I've needed help. We've all needed it. I've gotten it on and off over the years. I've gotten it at times. I've gotten it from BetterHelp themselves. I remember I was out there driving, I was on an S curve and I, it was just too much. I was in a, uh, four speed or maybe a three speed Ford Escort. I couldn't handle it.

• 44:27Theo Von?

  Had to pull over and just call, God, I need some help. And bam, there they were, BetterHelp. BetterHelp therapists have helped over 5 million people worldwide on their mental health journeys. That's millions of stories, millions of journeys, and behind everyone is a therapist who showed up, listened, and helped someone take a step forward. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/tho. That's betterhelp.com/tho. Here's one right here, let's get to it.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Theo, my name is Tom, and I've called a number of times.

• 45:17Theo Von?

  What's up, Tom, brother? Thank you for calling, man. Well, thank you for calling back. Onward.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  I just want to thank you again for everything that you do, just for being real, for not being too good for anybody. And the hotline, bro, I'm sure it means a lot to a lot of people. I lost my son a year and a half ago to suicide. And it was tough, man. I still have nightmares and visions of just seeing that, finding that, and I don't know, man, it's hard to talk about.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  But I found your show about, I'd say, four months after that happened. And when I tell you that you gave me a reason to laugh for the first time since it ever since it happened, you did, bro. And I gotta say that being an addict and being clean for the last five and a half years, it would've been real easy to use as an excuse to go back. But I didn't. And I truly believe that God, number one, and...

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Just being able to laugh again kept me free and I feel like honestly saved my life, brother, and I appreciate it. I love you. I love what you do. Thank you for everything.

• 46:57Theo Von?

  Praise God, man. Thank you, Tom. Thank you, brother. I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I bet he misses you and I bet he loves you and they may not even have feelings over there where you miss people. I bet it's just pure love. But um, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't even.

• 47:18Theo Von?

  There's not a word I could give you, you know, except that I'm happy to hear your voice today, you know, and thanks. Uh, thanks for letting me make, thank you for letting me be a part of your laughter. You know, sometimes when I'm like in pain and stuff, I won't even let people make me laugh. Kind of it's like, you know that stuff when you're like young or something or something's rough and you want to laugh and it's like, um, you won't let somebody make you laugh. It's like almost out of posterity and stuff. Um, but man, thank you, bro. Thank you just for sharing that story today and for letting us have a moment to remember him. I don't even know what he looks like, you know, but I'm just

• 48:01Theo Von?

  gonna remember a sweet soul, uh, that loved his father and that was trying his best in the world.

• 48:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's cool. That's cool.

• 48:22Theo Von?

  He seems like a, he feels like a neat kid. So, thank you so much, Tom, for sharing that with us today.

• 48:32Theo Von?

  Let's hear another, let's hear another call. We'll take one more here. What do we got here?

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Hey, what's up, Theo? My name is Lane.

• 48:41Theo Von?

  What's up, Lane, baby? And you hear a lot about that Lane, baby? The HOV Lane, brother, that threesome, huh? Let's hear more about it.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  And, uh, I just wanna call in and give my son a shout out. His name is Mateo, he's three years old. And he's finishing chemo for the second time. And, uh, I just wanna ask-

• 49:03Theo Von?

  Let's go! Let me catch his name again.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  I just wanna call in and give my son a shout out. His name is Mateo, he's three years old. And he's finishing chemo for the second time. And, uh, I just wanna ask for a prayer, brother. You know, a prayer that that shit don't come back. Prayer from the community. And, uh, yeah, shout out to my wife for holding us down through this hard time. And I wanna speak into existence that, you know, fuck it, I'm gonna do some stand-up comedy. You know, you've been a big inspiration, so shout out to you too, Theo. Peace.

• 49:42Theo Von?

  Oh, well, thank you, thank you, thank you for the call, man. Yeah. I'm sorry, uh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm glad your son is being a warrior. You know, I'm glad you're here speaking, uh, prayer towards your son. Um, I'm glad you're requesting prayer. Um...

• 50:03Theo Von?

  I'm glad that, uh, that you're reminding us it's okay to call others and ask for prayer and ask for, uh, energy, you know? God, we forget that. I forget that all the time. I forget that all the time. Um...

• 50:20Theo Von?

  Yeah, let's, I'll say a prayer right now. Well, God, we lift up Mateo to you. And, uh, and just keep his smile hopeful. And keep him cancer-free, God. Um... And let him have the joy that he wants in the world. Uh, and we lift up his mother to you, God, and just all the, all the energy you continue to give her and all the mothers out there who, who, um, who have to deal with children who are suffering with illnesses. Um, man, that can be a heavy, a heavy burden. Uh...

• 51:03Theo Von?

  And we give, thanks God, that in witnessing other people triumph and witnessing this man witnessing his young son battle through chemotherapy, that it inspires him to go out and do things. That inspires him to take on things that, like if he wants to do comedy, or he wants to sing, or he wants to do a backflip online, or whatever he wants to do, you know, that it inspires him. That it pushes him through any potential failure, you know? Cause failure is just a little bit of bootleg fear. That's all that shit is.

• 51:43Theo Von?

  That's all shit. That's aftermarket fear, cut. But God, we lift him up, man. Man, that's inspiring. And inspiring to see a little three-year-old fellow out there, waddling around, ringing that chemo, that cancer-free bell out there? Him and Randy Moss out there ringing that bitch? That's beautiful, man. And I lift up my buddy MK, man. There's a friend of mine named MK and his wife and their family is dealing with a lot of tragedy right now. Their brother, um, her brother got shot. And I don't know even the situation right now, but, um, but yeah, I just want to lift him up,

• 52:28Theo Von?

  God, and just, just let his heart know that he's not alone and let her heart know and her brother's heart know that they're not alone, that people are thinking of them. And, uh, yeah. So, in your name, we pray amen, man. Um, I think we did pretty good today. This is as good as I can do today, guys. You know? I appreciate you. I appreciate you getting all the warm messages. I'm sorry I rambled a lot about, um, what happened in New York City, but I wanted to take a few days to kind of digest it because it was all out of my, it was like, it wasn't all out of my control, but there was a lot

• 53:09Theo Von?

  of stuff going on. I'm like, some of this is real, some of this is not. Um, and I don't like to take any action when I'm a little bit tired, you know?

• 53:21Theo Von?

  So, I want to thank the people that did come out to the show and uh Yeah, it was what it was, huh? It was what it was, boy. At that We Smith stuff, bruh. No, but thank you, thank you to anybody that's come out to my show. Thank you to anybody that's just been supportive, that's been a part of this group. We're good. We're good here. We're good here.

• 53:48Theo Von?

  So I just want you to know that wholeheartedly. I'm not here. Uh.

• 53:56Theo Von?

  Uh, we're good here. And um. And I'm looking forward to actually taking some time off. I just want to do things that are fun for me. I want to spend time around my friends and stuff like that. And then at the same time, I gotta get a little bit of space. Sometimes I spend so much time like on my phone, these things like just texting, so many things that are just kind of like, I just want to be able to have a little bit of peace for myself and I deserve it. Right? And I deserve it, we all deserve it. And um, so. Yeah, I want to thank everybody for their calls. I want to thank everybody for their care. I want to thank everybody for their calls, sharing their own words and um, and stories and uh,

• 54:39Theo Von?

  on the hotline and um, I did get back on my medication. I want people to know that, you know, I'm not worried about that kind of stuff. Uh.

• 54:50Theo Von?

  You know? And maybe one day I'll be able to be off of it, you know? I'm going to make sure that I work with a doctor if I, if I think about that again. Um, but one day it would be nice to, you know, be able to kind of have all your feelings, you know, in a manageable way and um, to have all of your feelings, you know? So. Um, all right. Thank you guys so much and uh, man, we got a lot of life to look forward to. I believe that and I know you do too. And uh, yeah, you guys be good to yourselves. I'm gonna do the same thing. Okay, I promise. All right, I'm upstairs. Gang, baby.

• 56:01Speaker 03

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