Why You're Still Playing Small (And How to Stop) | Emmanuel Acho

Not everyone is going to like you. And that is okay. Emmanuel Acho built one of the most meteoric rises in media in recent memory. Former NFL linebacker. Fox Sports host of Speak for Yourself. Author of multiple New York Times bestselling books, including Illogical: Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits, published under the Oprah imprint. He has done things no one outside of Oprah herself has done. And still, the criticism came. This conversation is about what you do with that. How do you hold your identity when the world tries to hand you someone else's version of it? Emmanuel turned down comparisons to Michael Strahan because he understood something most people miss: you cannot become the greatest version of yourself by trying to become someone who already exists. He stopped setting goals. Not because he stopped caring, but because he realized goals create a ceiling. Instead he started moving toward objectives, things that stretch beyond what logic says is possible. He fell and got back up. He didn't fail. There is a difference. If you have ever achieved something and felt emptier than you expected, or gotten harder on yourself the more successful you became, this episode will crack something open in you. Emmanuel’s books: Uncomfortable Conversations with a Jew Amazon Ebook Audio Book Illogical: Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits Amazon Ebook AudioBook Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man Amazon Ebook AudioBook Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Boy Amazon Ebook AudioBook In this episode you will: Understand why reframing failure as falling, not losing, can keep you moving when everything feels like a setback Explore the self-love scale Emmanuel used to assess himself at a six and a half, and what it takes to grow that number through success instead of despite it Discover why Emmanuel Acho stopped setting goals and replaced them with objectives that remove the ceiling on what you can achieve Learn how to protect your identity when success brings comparisons, criticism, and pressure to become someone else Hear the story of how a call from Oprah Winfrey led to Emmanuel becoming the only person outside of Oprah to have multiple books published under her imprint For more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1934 For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960 Follow The Daily Motivation for essential highlights from The School of Greatness More SOG episodes we think you’ll love: Lewis Howes Solo [Everything You Want In Life Comes When You Let Go] Kevin Love Amy Purdy TOPICS Emmanuel Acho, Illogical, goals vs. objectives, self-love and success, public criticism, identity and comparison, reframing failure, Oprah imprint, mindset and limiting beliefs, breaking through barriers Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  What's been the biggest lesson in the last couple of years of taking your shot, of putting it out there, being on a limb, and then learning about how to handle the opportunities of success, the fame, the recognition? And also, how have you learned how to say yes and no to certain things that might be big, but not right for you at the right moment?

• 0:21Emmanuel Acho?

  Two lessons.

• 0:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 0:23Emmanuel Acho?

  I'll give you one pre-success, one post-success. I'll start with the post-success lesson, because that one I'm learning right now as I'm talking to you. Everybody will not like you, and that is okay, because you don't like everybody. And you know, I've had to realize, like, yo, people don't like me, man. Like, this person's mad at me, a black person's mad at me because I'm too nice to white people, a white person's mad at me because I'm a race-baiter. Why don't people like me? And then I kick back and I said, wait a second. I don't like everybody. So how can I expect everybody to like me? It was something, dude, I've had a hard time to reconcile with because...

• 1:02Lewis Howes?

  Because you're a nice guy, right? You want to be liked by people.

• 1:05Emmanuel Acho?

  That's it. At least I try to be a nice guy, and in the midst of trying to be a nice guy, I'm still like, why are so many people upset? Daily. And I had to reconcile with that. Pre-success, I think it's, you know, the old phrase, "Noah didn't wait till it started raining to build a boat."

• 1:22Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:23Emmanuel Acho?

  Right? Like, we don't wait until things get crazy to start building. And I think what you've learned, what I've learned, what I hope people learn through this conversation, it's what you do in private and in silence that ends up getting praised in public. It's the wood that you're chopping when nobody's looking. It's the paintings that you're drawing when nobody's buying. It's the words that you're saying when nobody's listening. It's the character you're developing when nobody's watching. Like, what you're doing in private is ultimately what ends up getting esteemed in public. And what I've learned now, retroactively, it was the work in private that ended up getting praised in public.

• 2:03Lewis Howes?

  Oh. And you worked for years

• 2:06Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah.

• 2:06Lewis Howes?

  on developing these skills and...

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Everything.

• 2:10Emmanuel Acho?

  Everything. Well, what I've learned, dude, in talking to you and watching you, my own life, studying from brilliant minds that have come before us as we try to achieve our own. The greatest creations, individually and collectively, are the synthesis of different creations. I think about Velcro. Velcro was created, and I'll paraphrase, but Velcro was created when somebody was walking through the wilderness, if I'm not mistaken, and those little annoying pricklies, those little pricklies got stuck to his sock. And they were like, well, if a prickly can adhere to a sock as an adhesive, why can't I create something? So you take the concept of a prickly and the concept of a sock and you create Velcro.

• 2:52Emmanuel Acho?

  And my life was the synthesis of NFL locker room, predominantly a white private school, a predominantly urban NFL locker room, synthesize those together and create content.

• 3:07Lewis Howes?

  Perspective. Here's a perspective.

• 3:09Emmanuel Acho?

  Bingo.

• 3:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:11Emmanuel Acho?

  So everybody just has to figure out

• 3:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:13Emmanuel Acho?

  what two things can they combine together to become that greatest version of themselves.

• 3:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you really became a bridge for a lot of people that didn't see the other side of the river.

• 3:25Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct.

• 3:25Lewis Howes?

  Right? There's a river, there's a separation of ideas, thought, understanding, whatever you want to call it, connection. And you were able to see different sides and bridge the gap

• 3:34Emmanuel Acho?

  That's it.

• 3:34Lewis Howes?

  with your own Velcro.

• 3:39Lewis Howes?

  Now, for someone who has a gap in their imagination, they see a future that they want to create, they see an idea, a vision, a goal, whatever you want to call it, but they don't know how to become the Velcro and bridge it to get to the other side. What has been your thoughts or your philosophy and your advice on how to accomplish, set and achieve goals?

• 4:03Emmanuel Acho?

  Man, I love that question. I love that question. Dude, I don't believe in goals.

• 4:11Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 4:11Emmanuel Acho?

  I no longer believe in goals. Crazy, because I know we're told for so long, set a goal, write it down, live by it. True story, y'all. Maybe one of the most depressing moments of my life.

• 4:25Emmanuel Acho?

  After my junior year playing football at the University of Texas, Texas a top-flight college football program at the time, I submitted my name to go to the NFL draft. I wanted to go professionally after three years. But I got back from the NFL a report, a manual, you will not be drafted in rounds one through three. You will be drafted in rounds four through seven. There are seven total rounds in the NFL draft for those watching and eventually listening. I'm not going in the fourth through seventh round. I'll come back for my senior year.

• 4:55Lewis Howes?

  Oh, this is junior year?

• 4:55Emmanuel Acho?

  Junior year.

• 4:56Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha.

• 4:56Emmanuel Acho?

  So what I said was this, I took that sheet of paper that said, Emmanuel, you won't be drafted in rounds one through three, and I highlighted that line, you won't be drafted in rounds one through three, and I hung it above my bed, and I put one of those little sticks through the wall and the paper in my bed. I looked at it every morning I woke up and every night before I went to sleep. You know what they say about goals, look at them, commit them to memory. Well, while at the NFL Combine, I'm running my 40 at the conclusion of my senior year. The NFL Combine, again, for those watching, listening, it is the ultimate job interview if you want to go to the NFL. I'm running a 40-yard dash, which will dictate essentially where I will be drafted.

• 5:35Lewis Howes?

  What round you're in, yeah.

• 5:36Emmanuel Acho?

  Exactly. As I'm running, I'm running, I hear this, boom, boom, boom, boom. I thought my heels were clicking, they weren't. My quad was tearing off the bone.

• 5:46Lewis Howes?

  Ugh!

• 5:47Emmanuel Acho?

  I clutch at my quad.

• 5:48Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man!

• 5:49Emmanuel Acho?

  I fall to the ground in sheer agony.

• 5:51Lewis Howes?

  During the 40?

• 5:52Emmanuel Acho?

  During the 40.

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  When every scout and coach is watching.

• 5:54Emmanuel Acho?

  Everyone watching, I still have the picture.

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  NFL TV is filming, it's on ESPN.

• 5:59Emmanuel Acho?

  Bones blowing up with texts, are you okay, X, Y, and Z, it's terrible. I clutch to the ground, I'll save you all the rest of that, details of that story, I end up getting drafted in the sixth round. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Stop setting goals. Here's why. At best, if you set a goal, you will achieve it. But what if you could have achieved more? At worst, if you set a goal and you don't achieve it, you ruin your self-esteem and your self-efficacy. My self-esteem and my self-efficacy, or your self-worth, how you look at yourself, were ruined that day, were undermined that day. So instead of setting goals now, Louis, I have an objective with no limitations. Small difference, but that small difference will make a huge impact on your life.

• 6:41Emmanuel Acho?

  A goal by definition is an end towards which energy is aimed. An objective is simply directing energy towards something. So why, if I'm gonna have a goal, would I focus on the end? When I'm at the beginning. Instead, I direct all of my energy towards some thing. I start my book, A Logical, which you and I are gonna get into. Imagine a life without failure. Why? Cause when you don't set a goal, you can't fail.

• 7:10Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:10Emmanuel Acho?

  And so many of us combat failure, failure in our lives. So many of us are trying to figure out, how can I become the best version of myself? But we can't become the best version of ourself because we're still mourning our former self. We're still mourning our failures from our past. We're still mourning our defeats from our past. We're still mourning our scars from our yesteryears. I'm done mourning my scars. Now it's all about having an objective with no limitations. Similar to that quote, if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you land amongst the stars.

• 7:43Lewis Howes?

  So, as opposed to creating a goal then? What are you, what are you creating? Are you not creating something? You're creating an objective?

• 7:50Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct. I'm creating an objective.

• 7:51Lewis Howes?

  So what would it look like then?

• 7:52Emmanuel Acho?

  Beautiful. People would always ask me when I got into TV, hey Emmanuel, you wanna be like Michael Strahan, right? For those that aren't familiar, Michael Strahan, host Good Morning America, co-host, NFL Hall of Famer. He's that guy. I said, no, I don't wanna be like Michael Strahan. Cause if I say I wanna be like Michael Strahan, I might just be like Michael Strahan. And while that's great for Michael Strahan, he's already taken. So why would I wanna be like this man who's already taken? As great and as great and as great as he is, Michael Strahan's already taken. I gotta be Emmanuel Lacho. So when people ask me, what do you wanna be? I just say, I wanna be as, I wanna be considered one of the most creative people the industry has ever seen. My objective is subjective. My objective is subject to people's opinion.

• 8:35Lewis Howes?

  It's like art.

• 8:36Emmanuel Acho?

  Bingo. It's exactly like art, bro. And let's, let's think of art.

• 8:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 8:41Emmanuel Acho?

  Lil Wayne, one of my favorite verses, he says, when you mention Pac, Biggie and Jay-Z, just remember, just remember Wheezy Baby. Or when you mention Pac, Biggie and Jay-Z, make sure you mention Wheezy Baby. Essentially saying, when you mention the greats of all time, just make sure you mention me too. You're not saying I wanna be the greatest, you know what I'm saying?

• 9:02Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right.

• 9:02Emmanuel Acho?

  He didn't say the best rapper alive, all that. But his objective was subjective. When you mentioned Tupac, when you mentioned Biggie, when you mention Jay-Z, just make sure you mention me too. And where I am now at with my desires in life, I don't have goals anymore, bro. Cause if you have a goal, you can fail. And I'm done failing. While people say, yo, Acho, that's crazy. Remember, our greatest accomplishments in life are typically crazy.

• 9:30Lewis Howes?

  They're not rational.

• 9:31Emmanuel Acho?

  They're completely irrational.

• 9:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:34Emmanuel Acho?

  They're completely irrational. And a quote that I'm hung up on now, I'm hung up on it. Will Smith said in his latest book. He said, remember when somebody gives you their advice? It's just that. It's their advice. Based on their limited life experiences. You and now are a unique combination of which has never occurred before.

• 9:55Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 9:56Emmanuel Acho?

  By which you are the best metric of success. You and now, unique combination, never occurred before. You're the best metric of success. So, me and this present moment and this conversation with you, it's never occurred before.

• 10:11Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 10:12Emmanuel Acho?

  So how this conversation is going to go is dependent upon you, dependent upon me. Me and writing a book. This new book's never occurred before. So why would I be limited by someone else's standards? It's kind of like what you and I discussed off camera. We can bring it on camera, I know you wouldn't mind.

• 10:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:31Emmanuel Acho?

  Don't let insignificant people have such significance over your life.

• 10:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:35Emmanuel Acho?

  And that's often what we do, bro.

• 10:37Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think so many people focus on the insignificance of other people's thoughts and opinions?

• 10:44Emmanuel Acho?

  Because we all want to be liked, man. And, and, and.

• 10:49Lewis Howes?

  And how have you learned to let go of that?

• 10:51Emmanuel Acho?

  Yes.

• 10:51Lewis Howes?

  Feeling of being liked or loved or thought in a positive light?

• 10:57Lewis Howes?

  When people say things that you don't like.

• 10:59Emmanuel Acho?

  Mm hmm. Well, my favorite quote, maybe for the last decade, top three favorite quotes, because I'm a huge quote guy. One of my favorite quotes.

• 11:09Emmanuel Acho?

  And those who were dancing were thought to be crazy by those who didn't hear the music.

• 11:17Emmanuel Acho?

  Imagine, and we've all been in this situation before, imagine walking on the beach, biking through the city, and you see somebody just dancing. You'd be like, yo, what the heck are they doing? Exactly. But maybe they're not crazy. Maybe they just had headphones in and you couldn't see. Those who were dancing were thought to be crazy by those who didn't hear the music. What I've realized, there's come a point in my time in my life where I'm dancing, and people think I'm crazy. They just don't hear the music yet. You're dancing. You start 1,200 episodes in now. People think you're crazy. They just didn't hear the music yet. So many people watching this are dancing, and people think they're crazy. No, the people that think they're crazy just haven't heard the music yet.

• 12:00Emmanuel Acho?

  So we have to understand, we're not crazy. They just haven't heard the music. And that is what keeps me going, realizing, yo, I'm not crazy. I'm on my path to greatness. And eventually, they will catch up.

• 12:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So when you see someone saying something negative for whatever reason, or anything, how do you handle it internally? And then how do you handle it externally? Do you reply to certain things if someone's saying something, maybe it's true or it's inaccurate? Do you take the energy to defend yourself or respond? Or you just say, you know what? Okay, this is their opinion. I'm gonna focus on my vision.

• 12:37Emmanuel Acho?

  That's really good. I, I, sometimes I do fall into that cesspool, if you will, with social media. It's the worst.

• 12:45Lewis Howes?

  Tough, man.

• 12:46Emmanuel Acho?

  It's, at times, it can be the worst. Social media does great things. It clearly has for you, clearly has for me. But it can be the worst. Um, I think about this. In the jungle, not all animals want to be petted. Some just want to roar.

• 13:01Lewis Howes?

  It's true.

• 13:02Emmanuel Acho?

  And Twitter is the jungle. Social media is the jungle. In the jungle, not all animals want to be pet, man. Some just wanna roar. And you have to understand, when you log on social media and when you are in those spaces, some people just wanna roar. And then I also remember, and this is from a movie, another quote. A person is smart, but people are dumb, angry animals. Individually, collectively, you and I are smart. But when you get amongst the crowd, then all of a sudden, you have that, you have that crowd chaos, if you will. And I said this, because I've been thinking so much recently, that cowards turn courageous when they can remain anonymous.

• 13:46Lewis Howes?

  Say it again?

• 13:47Emmanuel Acho?

  Cowards turn courageous when they can remain anonymous.

• 13:51Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 13:52Emmanuel Acho?

  And so often on social media, and in life, people can remain anonymous. In group settings at stadiums, people can remain anonymous.

• 13:59Lewis Howes?

  Say it to my face. Come say this to my face, and then let's have a conversation.

• 14:04Emmanuel Acho?

  That's it.

• 14:04Lewis Howes?

  We don't need to fight.

• 14:05Emmanuel Acho?

  We can have, I told, bro. I reached out to somebody the other day, because, you know, he reached out to me, and he was like, he didn't reach out to me. He tweeted at me, this is a clown take, and not surprising considering the source. Like, you got a million followers on social media. We used to work at the same company. You can get my number.

• 14:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 14:24Emmanuel Acho?

  I called him up. Oh, man, my bad, I regretted it as soon as I said it, man, I shouldn't have said it. I say it's on me. Then I'm like, do we got, do we got issues? Like, just let me know. But I think people get in the midst of that mob mentality, and it's sheer chaos. So, I will say to your point, it's been hard, as you know. Like, that journey.

• 14:44Lewis Howes?

  It's tough.

• 14:45Emmanuel Acho?

  Up the mountaintop. And I'm just, I'm still trying the journey, but it's gonna be depressing.

• 14:51Lewis Howes?

  How do you manage it emotionally? And manage your emotions when you see something that maybe is seeming unfair, or just mean?

• 15:01Lewis Howes?

  And maybe you're not doing it the best way yet, but you're on the journey.

• 15:05Emmanuel Acho?

  Sometimes you've just got to step away.

• 15:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, don't respond.

• 15:08Emmanuel Acho?

  Don't respond, and honestly, log off. I think we have such a mental health crisis right now in society in large part because of social media. We are seeing things we were never meant to see. We're hearing things we were never meant to hear, and we're reading things we were never meant to read.

• 15:24Lewis Howes?

  And we're seeing, hearing, and reading them in a very elaborate manner with a lot of, I don't know, emotion. You know, it's like we used to read or see things or hear stories without watching the news in such a way that was dramatized to its worst point to get the attention. This is one of the reasons I don't really watch the news ever. I want to be informed and educated, but I don't want to be entertained

• 15:53Lewis Howes?

  or captivated by my emotions, overwhelmed by watching information as entertainment. And so I try to step back and say, tell me the facts, tell me the data, so that I can have a rational thought around it. Otherwise, I'll get tied into just watching the news and be like, the world is ending.

• 16:11Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think we all have to do a better job of protecting our own minds, our own spaces, what we can take and what we can't take, because you only get one mind, dude. And I know you pride yourself on your mind. I pride myself on my mind. Dude, we only get one, and I think we all have to do a better job of protecting our own mental health.

• 16:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I grew up in a religion called a Christian Science, and the founder is a female. Her name is Mary Baker Eddy, and she had a quote that said, "Stand porter at the door of thought." Don't allow these thoughts to enter the mind continuously, because then it'll damage everything in your life. So stand porter at the door of thought, be a guard at the thought of the mind, and don't just allow anything to be consumed by it. So what has been the biggest struggle then for you mentally and emotionally in the last couple of years?

• 17:06Emmanuel Acho?

  The biggest struggle is trying to ascend to the mountaintop. And the reason I say that, bro, is.

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  To get to the mountaintop?

• 17:16Emmanuel Acho?

  Yes.

• 17:17Lewis Howes?

  What is the mountaintop?

• 17:20Emmanuel Acho?

  I think the mountaintop is different for everyone.

• 17:22Lewis Howes?

  Is that a goal?

• 17:23Emmanuel Acho?

  For me, the mountaintop is checking boxes.

• 17:26Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 17:27Emmanuel Acho?

  Right? Like, it's checking boxes.

• 17:29Lewis Howes?

  Give me an example.

• 17:30Emmanuel Acho?

  An example. Okay, great. Now I host my own show on sports. Speech for yourself. Check. Okay, great. Now I partnered with Oprah on a book. Oh, another book. Oh, a third book.

• 17:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:40Emmanuel Acho?

  Check. Okay, but the book has to best sell. Check. It's just like, it's just trying to ascend, trying to do, uh, and not being dejected when you don't. And then, bro, I also think trying to figure out our place on this earth.

• 17:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:59Emmanuel Acho?

  I think we're all trying to do that. When we remove the masks and the, the makeup, figuratively speaking of our life, we're all trying to figure out what value am I providing to the people I'm interacting with? What value am I providing to society? Where is my place in life?

• 18:18Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:18Emmanuel Acho?

  And I've been constantly, my biggest struggle the last couple of years is trying to really figure that out. And now that it appears I figured that out, trying to sustain.

• 18:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 18:31Emmanuel Acho?

  The heat, excuse me, and the hate that comes with that.

• 18:35Lewis Howes?

  The heat and the hate.

• 18:39Lewis Howes?

  Because I don't think people understand that once you have audience and attention, there will be heat and hate.

• 18:43Emmanuel Acho?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:44Lewis Howes?

  No matter how pure your intentions are, no matter how kind you try to be, there'll be hate.

• 18:49Emmanuel Acho?

  You know what I've realized, man? And my co-host, Marcellus Wiley, says this. Criticism is the cost of praise.

• 18:56Lewis Howes?

  It is.

• 18:57Emmanuel Acho?

  We don't realize that enough. Like, recently, um, for those watching sports news, Naomi Osaka, number one tennis player in the world just a couple of years ago, um, she tried to stop a tennis match because somebody said you suck. Somebody yelled, "You suck," and she went to the judge and was like, and went to the umpire and was like, "Yo, can we stop the match? Can we get them kicked out?"

• 19:15Lewis Howes?

  Is this recently?

• 19:16Emmanuel Acho?

  Recently.

• 19:16Lewis Howes?

  I didn't see this.

• 19:17Emmanuel Acho?

  It's two days ago.

• 19:18Lewis Howes?

  She tried to stop the match and say, "Kick that person out."

• 19:21Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct. And at the end of the post-game presser, tears came into her eyes for different reasons. And I was just like, criticism is the cost of praise.

• 19:30Lewis Howes?

  If you don't want criticism, don't play the game.

• 19:32Emmanuel Acho?

  It's like, you don't have a choice.

• 19:35Lewis Howes?

  Don't play, don't show up.

• 19:36Emmanuel Acho?

  You can't play if you don't want criticism.

• 19:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:39Emmanuel Acho?

  It's not even like you were advising, Don. It's like, yo, criticism comes with it.

• 19:43Lewis Howes?

  Here's the funny thing, not to cut you off, is that you're gonna be criticized at the top or criticized for doing nothing. So why don't you do something you enjoy? Because if you're sitting on the couch and you have all this potential, but you don't do something, the people closest to you are gonna say, "What are you doing?"

• 19:58Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah.

• 19:58Lewis Howes?

  "This person has so much poten-" Give me their potential.

• 20:01Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah.

• 20:01Lewis Howes?

  "I could do something great with this," but they're just sitting on their couch depressed.

• 20:04Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Lewis Howes?

  Worried about people's thoughts or opinions. There's a price either way.

• 20:10Emmanuel Acho?

  You gotta pay it either way.

• 20:11Lewis Howes?

  You gotta pay it either way. Maybe it's greater price as you're climbing and dealing with the more attention, but there's a price either way.

• 20:19Emmanuel Acho?

  You know what else, man? And I've realized this too, and it's hit me in the face. You can't call for attention and hang up.

• 20:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, so look at me. Oh, but always say nice things about me.

• 20:30Emmanuel Acho?

  You can't, you can't. And whether we intentionally call for attention or we don't, you can't call for attention and hang up, like the boy who cried wolf, like us in our friend groups, like a child in a house cries and cries. Mother asks, "What's wrong?" Father asks, "What's wrong?" "Nothing." And what are you crying for? You can't call for attention and hang up. And so I think there's just a lot of of learning and discovering that I'm doing on this journey.

• 20:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. The emotional regulation is funny. I was just interviewing a neuroscientist slash brain surgeon. He's an expert in both areas. So he studies the brain and the mind, right? The thoughts. And after this two-hour conversation...

• 21:15Lewis Howes?

  The whole thing came down to the number one skill to have is the ability to emotionally regulate your feelings and how thoughts, the brain and the mind are connected to feelings. And the ability to emotionally regulate them, not saying that you're not going to have wide range of emotions, but the ability to regulate under pressure, under stress, so that you can get into flow, that you can get back to your, your mission, your vision and not be in chaos mode. You know, you can defend yourself rationally, essentially, in times of chaos. And he said, that's kind of what it comes down to. If I could teach a skill, it'd be the skill of emotional regulation. And I think the farther we try to strive to unlock

• 21:59Lewis Howes?

  our potential, the more we need to learn that, because the more people are going to be coming at us, it sounds like.

• 22:05Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah. Yeah. One, I think that's a phenomenal thought. I think it was Michael Jordan's trainer who said, emotions are dangerous, but controlled anger, or it's like, or controlled aggression is like the most.

• 22:18Lewis Howes?

  Dangerous of all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Tim Grover?

• 22:20Emmanuel Acho?

  Yes.

• 22:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, he's great.

• 22:21Emmanuel Acho?

  It's like the most dangerous of all.

• 22:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Because being emotional and reacting, you're going to foul out. You're going to do something stupid.

• 22:27Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct.

• 22:28Lewis Howes?

  Which I did many times in multiple sports. And then you learn the lesson, oh, my emotional reaction gets me on the bench, or hurts my team.

• 22:38Emmanuel Acho?

  And you know what's interesting? We're talking sports, but this is a life.

• 22:41Lewis Howes?

  Life, man. Yeah, it's life.

• 22:42Emmanuel Acho?

  Because while you can say foul out, literally, figuratively speaking, if you're at the grocery store and then you get upset and then you get emotional and then you get into it with the cashier emotionally fouling out. If you're talking to a friend and then you get into it with your friend and then you say something you shouldn't have emotionally fouling out, relationship oriented. If you're talking to somebody and you're dating and then you get into it. So we're talking a sports conversation, but it is the controlling of your mind. But to me, bro, everything starts with the mind. Both our greatest limitations and our greatest accomplishments. To me, it's all up here.

• 23:17Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. Well, what has been the biggest, you talked about living a life without failure or fear of failure?

• 23:23Emmanuel Acho?

  Living a life without failure.

• 23:25Lewis Howes?

  What is the biggest fear for you in the last couple of years then? And now that you've, let's call it broken through, right? You were already really successful. I mean, you're NFL player and had a career in sports TV and all these things, but broken through to a different level. What is now the greatest fear?

• 23:43Emmanuel Acho?

  Ooh, that's why I like talking to you.

• 23:46Lewis Howes?

  You understand, man?

• 23:48Emmanuel Acho?

  I like talking to you.

• 23:51Emmanuel Acho?

  My biggest fear is becoming complacent. My biggest fear is not realizing I'm living inside of a box that is around me. My biggest fear is not realizing, hey, there's a door you haven't yet opened and what you think is a world is actually just a locker that you are inside of. One of my greatest, one of my favorite scenes of any movie, it's the end of Men in Black, I believe it's Men in Black 1. And at the end of the movie, they open up a locker and they open up the locker and they realize there's an entire another world out there. They thought they were living in their world, but there's such a bigger world out there.

• 24:28Emmanuel Acho?

  And my greatest fear is not pushing beyond a boundary, because I don't even realize the boundary is set, because I didn't set it. Because somebody else set it. And I've been living inside of somebody else's box or somebody else's boundary. The reason we don't achieve our highest highs, bro, isn't because we're not skilled, it isn't because we're not talented, it isn't even necessarily because we don't want it. It's because we don't realize how high we could achieve.

• 24:57Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 24:58Emmanuel Acho?

  I think that's the biggest limiting reactant, realizing our highs. One of my favorite stories, if not my favorite story, story of Roger Bannister.

• 25:06Lewis Howes?

  Four-minute mile.

• 25:07Emmanuel Acho?

  Four-minute mile. For those that aren't familiar, Roger Bannister, scientists believed it was physically impossible, impossible, to run a mile in under four minutes. Quick history lesson for everybody, that's my favorite story. Scientists believed it's physically impossible to run a mile in under four minutes. May 5th, 1952, it had never been done in 2,000 and years, but by May 6th, Roger Bannister, Oxford, England, runs a mile, 3 minutes, 59 seconds. Within two years, 10 people ran a mile in under four minutes. Now, the world record for the mile, 3 minutes, 43 seconds, and roughly 1,800 people have done so. Why? Because one man, Roger Bannister, removed the barriers that other people set around him.

• 25:51Emmanuel Acho?

  One man said, you know what? I'm not gonna subscribe to that barrier. One man said, I'm not gonna subscribe to goals. One man said, I'm not gonna subscribe to that. And he broke the dam open for everybody. And after that dam was broken for everybody, the whole rest of the running world proceeded to run through it. So my biggest fear, bro, is living inside of a box that somebody else set before me.

• 26:18Lewis Howes?

  So if you don't have goals to break or reach,

• 26:24Lewis Howes?

  what are you reaching for?

• 26:27Lewis Howes?

  Like, what's beyond a barrier that you're not trying to accomplish?

• 26:30Emmanuel Acho?

  For me, I'm reaching for movement.

• 26:32Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 26:33Emmanuel Acho?

  That's all it is. I'm reaching for progress. I'm moving forward. I'm moving forward.

• 26:37Lewis Howes?

  So it's not reaching an end goal?

• 26:38Emmanuel Acho?

  No, it's moving. It's moving forward, man. Like you, you're gonna do another episode tomorrow, and hopefully it's better than the day, and then the next tomorrow, and hopefully it's better than that day, and then you're just gonna keep moving. Like, let's not get so bogged down by, "But I didn't get this. Oh, but I got that." Just keep moving forward. When you go to a beach and you end up standing in the ocean, eventually after about five minutes, you'll look back and be like, "Yo, I drifted way far away." And you just drifted further than you ever thought. That's where I'm at now. Let's keep moving forward.

• 27:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:15Emmanuel Acho?

  We get so caught up in, "I want to be married by 26, and I wanna have two kids, and I wanna have bought my first home by 29, and by 35, I wanna be done having kids, and I wanna have four kids, two boys, two girls, preferably twins, cuz that would be easiest." Bump all that.

• 27:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:35Emmanuel Acho?

  Forget all that goal setting. Goals lead to failure. I want to live the most impactful and significant life I can possibly live. And if I happen to live that life with somebody else, great. And if I don't, great. And at 35, I want to see where I am, and at 30, I want to see where I am, and I want to just continue to move forward and make progress as a human being. But at the end of the day, bro, the reason we have these goals isn't even because of us. It's because of other people.

• 28:05Emmanuel Acho?

  This blew my mind. This blew my mind. And you're a sports guy, so this may as well, this might blow yours as well. This truly blew my mind. We often debate LeBron James, Michael Jordan, greatest basketball player of all time. Who do you say, sir?

• 28:18Lewis Howes?

  I, I mean, I'm from Ohio, so I go for LeBron.

• 28:21Emmanuel Acho?

  Go for LeBron.

• 28:21Lewis Howes?

  I just saw LeBron last night too play, so.

• 28:24Emmanuel Acho?

  So, right, let me blow this Michael Jordan LeBron James debate open for a second.

• 28:29Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 28:30Emmanuel Acho?

  For those that claim Jordan's the greatest basketball player ever, they, they claim it primarily for this reason. He went to six NBA championships.

• 28:37Lewis Howes?

  He won six.

• 28:37Emmanuel Acho?

  And he won six. But outside of those six NBA championships, Jordan never went back to an NBA finals. He won six times, and he won all six times. LeBron, on the other hand, has gone 10 times, and he's only won four.

• 28:52Lewis Howes?

  It's more like, he's more like Tom Brady, you know?

• 28:54Emmanuel Acho?

  Gone 10, won four, Jordan went six, won six times. Okay, great. Now, let's talk about the same exact sport, basketball. Let's talk about the same exact result, first place and or second place, Jordan and LeBron. But now, let's talk about a different measuring system, a different metric system, the Olympic Games. In the Olympic Games, Michael Jordan would have six golds, no silvers. LeBron would have four golds and six silvers. On an Olympic scale, four golds and six silvers is abundantly and clearly greater than six gold, than six golds. But in the NBA scale, six golds is better.

• 29:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 29:30Emmanuel Acho?

  So, the question something comes down to, whose metric system are you using?

• 29:34Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 29:34Emmanuel Acho?

  And the problem is, we let other people's metric systems dictate the happiness in our life. Because in the NBA, you finish in second, you leave the court crying and weeping devastated. The Olympic Games, you finish in second, to a degree, you're elated, depending on what country.

• 29:49Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 29:50Emmanuel Acho?

  Why? Because somebody else dictated how we should feel about a certain situation, based upon their metric system, not even our own.

• 29:58Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 29:59Emmanuel Acho?

  And I'm just done subscribing to other people's metric systems.

• 30:02Lewis Howes?

  I go to the, I go to the Olympics, that's an accomplishment. I go to the Olympics and get a bronze, I'm like, a medal, you know?

• 30:08Emmanuel Acho?

  I'm one of the three best in the world.

• 30:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 30:10Emmanuel Acho?

  In what I do.

• 30:11Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 30:11Emmanuel Acho?

  But in the NBA, you get third. In the NFL, you finish in third. In the MLB, you finish in third or fourth, you're like, you're petrified, you're distraught. And I've realized, bro. We just subscribe to other people's metric systems and we let it dictate our happiness.

• 30:26Lewis Howes?

  Now, tell me, okay, I love this approach. I love the philosophy and the mindset. But for someone watching or listening is like, okay, but I really want to accomplish some goals to feel like I'm accomplishing something because I wanted to build my, because it's always built my confidence when I do accomplish. But I hear you say, but if you don't accomplish this, they're going to hurt your self-esteem. So how do we? If someone's like, I want to write a book this year.

• 30:48Emmanuel Acho?

  Right.

• 30:49Lewis Howes?

  Do I set a goal to write a book or is it a journey of writing the book? Do I create micro goals on a weekly basis and have accountability? You know, there's going to be deadlines. Or, uh, you know, how do we think about the process of like completing a project? Launching something we want to launch, doing our artwork, creating our music, whatever it might be. How do we then set these things and make them happen?

• 31:13Emmanuel Acho?

  Right. So I got my master's in sports psychology and I dedicated my final thesis paper, if you will, for my master's degree to this concept. I elaborate and expound on this concept in a logical, but I will give you a snippet. Because I studied goals so long, I understand there is a use for goals. When you are talking about the micro in order to accomplish something, there is a use for goals in a relay race to stick in Olympic sport of track and field. It does not matter how fast we run if we do not get the baton around. So the micro goal needs to be to get the baton around. When I say don't set goals, have an objective with no limitations, I'm talking about a larger principle of life.

• 31:55Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 31:55Emmanuel Acho?

  When you're talking about macro things such as, hey, I just want to write a book. Right. When the macro of writing a book, sure. Say, I want to finish a chapter on Monday and I want to finish my, I want to write a chapter every week, every Monday. If you have a employer who's like, hey, we need this done by this date. Well, within that stance, there is a means to set a goal. You talked about talking to the neuroscientist. You mentioned this pivotal word flow. In order to achieve flow, flow is simply when you no longer conscious of time in the midst of a task. In order to achieve flow, you need automatic feedback, autonomous feedback. In order to get that feedback, you need to set goals.

• 32:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:35Emmanuel Acho?

  So there are principles, objectives in life within micro constructs where goals have value. I'm talking about the macro look of life where goals will do more damage than they will success. Or at least, goals will just be a limiting reactive.

• 32:53Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha.

• 32:53Emmanuel Acho?

  Because I always think, what if Roger Bannister wasn't just trying to break the four-minute mile? How much faster could he have gone? You never know. He went 359.8. He broke it barely. There's literally two tenths of a second was the difference. How much faster could he have gone? Maybe no faster, but maybe. If my goal, Louis, was to write a book, I would have wrote a book. I wouldn't have wrote the second one. And I might not have written the third one. So that's where I'm thinking, like, bigger picture. I just want to see people be the best version of themselves.

• 33:28Lewis Howes?

  So how do we, I mean, people are going to fail, but you're saying to reframe failure or to not even look at failure as an option? Because if you don't set the goal, you can't fail in that sense.

• 33:38Emmanuel Acho?

  Bingo. I, I, I thought about this the other time. I don't, I don't think people fail. What I say is this, and I thought about this. I didn't fail, I fell. And as long as I get up, I win.

• 33:50Lewis Howes?

  Ooh, yeah.

• 33:51Emmanuel Acho?

  Like a child.

• 33:52Lewis Howes?

  A child falls hundreds and thousands of times, and they never think to themselves, maybe this walking thing isn't for me.

• 33:58Emmanuel Acho?

  To do.

• 33:59Lewis Howes?

  They fail, they fall, and they get up.

• 34:01Emmanuel Acho?

  We didn't fail, we fell. As long as you get up, you win. The winning isn't getting up. So many people think they failed. They didn't fail.

• 34:10Lewis Howes?

  They stopped.

• 34:11Emmanuel Acho?

  You stopped. You didn't fail, you just failed, fell.

• 34:14Lewis Howes?

  And you just never got up.

• 34:15Emmanuel Acho?

  That's it. A relationship didn't work. You didn't fail at that relationship. And in the fourth, you didn't fail in that relationship. Job, you got fired. You didn't fail. You fell. Get up. You'll look back. You win as long as you get up. So when people keep talking about failure, I don't subscribe to that, but I don't subscribe to goals. Because ultimately, to fail is to put a period where a comma belongs. I ain't doing that no more, big dog.

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  Dot, dot, dot.

• 34:43Emmanuel Acho?

  Exactly.

• 34:44Lewis Howes?

  To be continued.

• 34:45Emmanuel Acho?

  I ain't putting periods where commas belong anymore. And then we do that too often in our life. It's like, ah, this relationship ended, period. No, this relationship ended. I found somebody who was more suitable for me, who I am more suitable for. And I now ended up significantly happier than I was.

• 35:00Lewis Howes?

  That's a good way to look at it. You know, looking at, I mean, I feel like it took me a long time to learn how to walk in relationships. I was just falling and wobbling all over the place. You know, I just needed some coordination sooner. But it took me a while to be able to look back and learn the lesson. And I feel like I'm in a much more stable place. You know, I have coordination with my body now in relationships in terms of walking. And some people learn faster in certain areas of life. But it's, it's not about giving up on love, giving up on your career, your, your books, or your, your message, or your art.

• 35:34Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah.

• 35:34Lewis Howes?

  It's about learning. A, a friend of mine posted this video, his name's Devin Rodriguez. He got big on TikTok. I think he's got like thirty million followers in the last two years. He started drawing people on subways in New York City. And he would just see them, he would draw them and hand them a sketch, and people would blown away. He did a video recently where he, he started learning in two thousand and ten how to draw. And he posted a, a photo from two thousand and ten to two thousand and twenty. Every year, his, his work. And it was ugly the first five years. I mean, it was, you'd throw it away. It was so bad, right? It was like a five-year-old sketch. It was like something I would do right now. It's about how I draw. But now it looks like you take a photo of someone and he can draw it perfectly.

• 36:19Lewis Howes?

  But it took him ten years to master this skill. He didn't fail the first five years, seven years. He fell forward by kept improving. I think it's a beautiful lesson you're talking about. Don't, don't think of it as failure, think of it as falling.

• 36:31Emmanuel Acho?

  Bro, and so many people in our life, even our loved ones, want to tell us that we failed. And we begin to believe them. And that's the problem. We've all committed to believing the lie that we have failed in life. We failed in our school, we failed in our relationships, we failed in our jobs. We haven't actually failed, but if you believe and listen to a lie long enough, you will be convinced that it's the truth.

• 37:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:03Emmanuel Acho?

  And what I now practice is detangling so many of the lies that we've been told over time, deconstructing so many of the thoughts that we've believed over time. Because it's those thoughts and it's those lies that bog us down.

• 37:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:20Emmanuel Acho?

  And bro, this also blew my mind. The Mona Lisa, I went to Paris last summer. I went to Paris, I went to the Louvre. And bro, you been to Louvre?

• 37:29Lewis Howes?

  I think I went to the outside, I didn't go inside.

• 37:31Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah, yeah. So I'm in the, I'm in, I'm in the Louvre and there's art everywhere. There's art on the ceiling, there's freaking art on the walls, art on the left side. There's art everywhere. As I'm walking through this, you know, hundreds of acres seemingly, I see a huge long line.

• 37:48Lewis Howes?

  For the Mona Lisa.

• 37:49Emmanuel Acho?

  I don't know yet, though. I don't know. So I'm like, what in the heck is this line for? There's art everywhere, y'all. Why y'all standing in the line to see a piece of art? Just look left. I turn a corner, huge line for the Mona Lisa. I was like, I ain't waiting in the line, so I'm gonna just walk by and see. I look at it. It's nice, it's nice.

• 38:06Lewis Howes?

  It's a painting.

• 38:06Emmanuel Acho?

  It's a painting. Painted somewhere from 1503 to 1518, I believe, historians suggest. You realize if the Mona Lisa were painted today, might go to garage sale for $20.

• 38:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 38:17Emmanuel Acho?

  Maybe, but why? Because the Mona Lisa back then depicted a pale woman with thin lips and a large forehead. And that was the depiction of beauty back then. Depiction of beauty in 2022, sun-kissed skin, you know, thin waist, nice build. But why, bro, do we subscribe to a definition of beauty that somebody else said? Because you could never catch it. The definition of beauty in the 1500s vastly different than the definition of beauty now. What was beautiful then, we don't value now. What we value now, we don't value then, but either way, we didn't even set it back to. Why do we let such insignificant people have significance in our lives?

• 38:59Emmanuel Acho?

  And man, I'm just like, what all are we believing?

• 39:03Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 39:04Emmanuel Acho?

  That we just don't need to.

• 39:08Lewis Howes?

  So what would you say people can do to build self-confidence if they're doubting themselves? What are some things, if it's not setting and accomplishing goals, what can we do to build it?

• 39:20Emmanuel Acho?

  Well, like you just said, self-confidence starts with self. And I think, and this is what I will tell, I will share, I believe you and I have had this conversation either off or on or off the record. June 9th, 2020, get that call from Oprah. And when Oprah calls me, she says these words. Well, okay, true story, let me not lie to you. I missed the call. Oprah and I did a conversation on Apple TV, Uncomfortable Conversations meets the Oprah Conversation. I missed the call. Oprah's right-hand woman rushes in, "Hey, great job, Emmanuel," but I think Oprah called you. I scurried to call her back. I call her. This is what she says. "You have the thing, my friend. You have the thing." And coming from someone who had the thing and has the thing, "You, my friend, you have the thing."

• 40:05Emmanuel Acho?

  So I'm like, "Yo, Oprah just told me I have the thing."

• 40:08Lewis Howes?

  She just anointed me with the thing.

• 40:10Emmanuel Acho?

  So what is the thing? She said, "You have an ability to communicate with people difficult truths and they still want to hear you." So what would my advice be to people who are trying to get that confidence without setting goals? I would tell them what Oprah told me. "You have the thing." The question is, what is the thing? What is the ability that you are uniquely skilled, gifted, and/or excel at? We all have it. I promise you, you have it, because we all do. Your thing might be an incredible painter. Your thing might be simply being a servant, a great listener. Your thing might be being great with kids. Your thing might be being great with animals. You might be great with secretarial tasks. You might be a skilled mathematician, but you have the thing.

• 40:53Emmanuel Acho?

  So for those that are lacking confidence, you don't need to set a goal to know that you're skilled. You just need to believe that you're skilled and you need to figure out what is it that you are skilled at. I shared this story today on my social media, but you're my boy. Let me share it now.

• 41:06Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 41:08Emmanuel Acho?

  2014, I'd been released by the Eagles for the fifth time.

• 41:12Lewis Howes?

  By them or by the Eagles? Holy cow. How do they keep bringing you back?

• 41:16Emmanuel Acho?

  They cut me. They would sign me back. They cut me. They would sign me back.

• 41:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh, man.

• 41:20Emmanuel Acho?

  They cut me, bro, for the five, by the, the Eagles cut me for the fifth time by the age of 24. When I got cut this time, my coach, southern draw accent, he said this. He called me E. He said, "E?" Ah, yeah, I wish I could buy stock in your future.

• 41:36Lewis Howes?

  I was like huh?

• 41:37Emmanuel Acho?

  He said, I wish I could buy stock in your future. I said, Coach, you wish you could buy stock in my future? You all just released me for the fifth time.

• 41:48Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy.

• 41:48Emmanuel Acho?

  In the last two years, and I'm not even 25 yet.

• 41:54Emmanuel Acho?

  Fast forward seven years, eight years, I realized what he was saying. He saw in me what I hadn't even seen in myself, not as a football player, but as a person. My coach texted me about three months ago and he said, stock price is too high now.

• 42:11Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's pretty cool.

• 42:13Emmanuel Acho?

  And so what I would just tell people is like, man, I wish I could buy stock in your future. Because my coach saw in me what I didn't see in myself. And I think sometimes it's our job to see in people what they don't even see in themselves.

• 42:27Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's interesting is we should be reinvesting in our own stock daily. And like pouring back into ourselves, buying into ourselves so that we appreciate over time. The more we do that by acquiring skills or learning how to heal traumas of the past, or mending friendships, or forgiving people, or you know, being consistent with the habits that help us live a better life, we will ultimately be more valuable in the future.

• 42:55Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct.

• 42:56Lewis Howes?

  So start investing now.

• 42:58Emmanuel Acho?

  That's it, like investing in yourself and learn to fall in love with yourself.

• 43:03Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. On a scale of one to 10, 10 being the highest form of self-love,

• 43:13Lewis Howes?

  one being the lowest form of self-love, where are you on that scale? Not, not, if you stripped your ego away and the, the shell, and you looked within your heart and you said, I love myself unconditionally, this much on the spectrum of one to 10, where would you be at?

• 43:29Emmanuel Acho?

  A six and a half.

• 43:30Lewis Howes?

  Where were you two years ago?

• 43:33Emmanuel Acho?

  Huh.

• 43:34Lewis Howes?

  Pre.

• 43:37Emmanuel Acho?

  An eight?

• 43:40Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so you loved yourself more before you love yourself now?

• 43:45Emmanuel Acho?

  Why? I believe that.

• 43:49Lewis Howes?

  This is interesting.

• 43:50Emmanuel Acho?

  Expectations minus reality equals disappointment. Expectations minus reality equals disappointment.

• 43:57Lewis Howes?

  You didn't have the expectations before that?

• 43:59Emmanuel Acho?

  No, man. Before Uncomfortable, there was no expectations. Not by the world. I had my own expectations, but the world had no expectation of me. Now, my expectations are freaking through the roof. Now you're your number one best seller. You've won an Emmy. You got a show. Sit down with you. Expectations are through the roof. So now, I've gotten harder on myself.

• 44:23Emmanuel Acho?

  Because, you and I spoke about this in our off-camera combos. It's just as good as our on-camera combos. It's so hard to maintain excellence.

• 44:35Emmanuel Acho?

  It it it will keep you up at night. It will take years off of your life. It will cost you to burst blood vessels in your vocal cords, which I have. It is so hard, unbelievably hard, to try to maintain excellence. And that is why I'd say it's at a six and a half. Because I'm just hard on myself now.

• 44:57Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:57Emmanuel Acho?

  And I'm hard on everybody around me. Now, I believe that the fun isn't winning. You know, my coach told me the fun isn't winning. I've never met too many happy people that don't win.

• 45:06Lewis Howes?

  You say the fun is or is not?

• 45:08Emmanuel Acho?

  Fun is.

• 45:09Lewis Howes?

  Isn't winning?

• 45:09Emmanuel Acho?

  My coach, linebacker coach.

• 45:10Lewis Howes?

  No one's having fun losing all day.

• 45:12Emmanuel Acho?

  Nobody. And so, it's at a six and a half because I'm just.

• 45:17Lewis Howes?

  But you're winning. You're winning more than two years ago.

• 45:20Emmanuel Acho?

  Yes, but bro, and again, Will Smith.

• 45:22Lewis Howes?

  You've got three books in two years, an Emmy. Massive press over the world, massive social media following. You're changing lives. You're impacting people. You're spreading your voice to the world.

• 45:33Emmanuel Acho?

  The biggest fear.

• 45:35Lewis Howes?

  And you love yourself less.

• 45:36Emmanuel Acho?

  The biggest fear, dude, isn't in non-attaining, in not attaining. The biggest fear is in having it and losing it.

• 45:44Lewis Howes?

  So how do we let go of that?

• 45:47Lewis Howes?

  How do we let go of that fear?

• 45:49Emmanuel Acho?

  Well, to let go of that fear.

• 45:52Lewis Howes?

  What are you gonna lose? What could you lose?

• 45:55Emmanuel Acho?

  In theory.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  Reputation or like.

• 45:58Emmanuel Acho?

  Right, you could lose reputation, you could lose emotional comfort, you could lose financial stability, emotional stability, and thus you could ultimately lose spiritual stability.

• 46:07Lewis Howes?

  And then what?

• 46:10Lewis Howes?

  Lose it all, then what?

• 46:12Emmanuel Acho?

  Honestly, it probably wouldn't be all that bad.

• 46:16Lewis Howes?

  Where were you five years ago?

• 46:18Emmanuel Acho?

  Where was I two and a half years ago?

• 46:20Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, man. You were fine. You were eight.

• 46:23Emmanuel Acho?

  You know, honestly, here's the thing now.

• 46:25Lewis Howes?

  Now, what you're saying, this is a powerful conversation. What you're saying is with success, you love yourself less.

• 46:34Emmanuel Acho?

  Yes, twist. I would say that my highs are high and my lows are low. My highs are significantly higher and my lows are lower.

• 46:41Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 46:41Emmanuel Acho?

  And I think that is what lands you. Bro, two and a half years ago, just chilling.

• 46:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:46Emmanuel Acho?

  Not much good, not much bad, just here. Now, Emmy.

• 46:50Lewis Howes?

  There's more at stake.

• 46:51Emmanuel Acho?

  Solitude. Number one best seller.

• 46:54Lewis Howes?

  Isolation.

• 46:56Emmanuel Acho?

  Oh, man. You know, it's just, it fluctuates.

• 46:59Lewis Howes?

  So how do, how do we become the Tom Brady's of life? You know, where it's just more even keel?

• 47:05Emmanuel Acho?

  Well, here's what's interesting. Let's not be bamboozled by Brady.

• 47:09Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah, he could be emotional Tom Brady.

• 47:11Emmanuel Acho?

  Well, here's why I say let's not be bamboozled by Brady. If you are married to someone for 22 years, and then you file for divorce, and you go back within two months, there's an issue. Either internally with you, or you didn't think through your decision. Tom Brady was married to the game of football for 22 years.

• 47:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 47:31Emmanuel Acho?

  Divorced the game of football.

• 47:33Lewis Howes?

  Now he's coming back.

• 47:34Emmanuel Acho?

  And then within two months, was like, you know what? Give me this football back. It makes me wonder like, how happy was Brady without it? Clearly not.

• 47:44Lewis Howes?

  Maybe he just wasn't done.

• 47:46Emmanuel Acho?

  Sure.

• 47:47Lewis Howes?

  I mean, he can still play at the highest level. He's still one of the best in the game.

• 47:50Emmanuel Acho?

  But the question that you just asked me is what I would ask him is like. But you still, okay, what happens if you don't play? What happens if you lose it? Right? Like, yeah, I, I, I, I think Brady's, Brady's greatest accomplishment was walking away playing at the highest level. No top five or top 10 player in the history of American sports has done that. None. The late, great Kobe Bryant, one of your best interviews on this show, the late, great Kobe Bryant, his last year played 60 games out of 82. Second to last year, he played 35.

• 48:21Lewis Howes?

  His last game, however.

• 48:22Emmanuel Acho?

  Went crazy.

• 48:23Lewis Howes?

  Was a banger.

• 48:24Emmanuel Acho?

  60 points on 40 shots.

• 48:25Lewis Howes?

  It was a banger. He went out on top there.

• 48:27Emmanuel Acho?

  Went crazy, phenomenal. But the Kobe's last three years.

• 48:30Lewis Howes?

  Wasn't a championship, yeah.

• 48:31Emmanuel Acho?

  He was just hurt. I mean, think about our greatest of greats, Peyton Manning, albeit his team won a Super Bowl, he was hurt. So I think you go out on top, but I think back to the crux of this con- that, that conversation, there's a dichotomy of success. And I love what Oprah says, and I believe she says it best. You can have everything, but you can't have it all at once.

• 48:58Lewis Howes?

  Can't have all of what, though? Cause I feel like you can be healthy. You can be fulfilled. You can have love in your heart. You can have a beautiful relationship. And you could be on your journey of a fulfilling life mission.

• 49:14Emmanuel Acho?

  Yes.

• 49:16Lewis Howes?

  So what does it mean you can't have it all? I mean, I can't, what, I, I don't know, what is this all?

• 49:21Emmanuel Acho?

  I think all is, in the context of which he's speaking, is like, there are no, there are no, uh, uh, uh, what did I say? It's like, okay, having, having it all is like, if you want to be the best media mogul.

• 49:38Lewis Howes?

  Yes, you can also be a, you can't, full-time traveling musician or something, or like an athlete.

• 49:43Emmanuel Acho?

  Or even like you, Tom Brady, you can't be the greatest quarterback of all time and also be the greatest husband. Something's gotta get on 24 hours in a day. So the time you are, you are putting towards football, you're taking away from your kids. Time you're giving your kids is taken away from football. Like, something has to give. Um, and so when I think about it, it's like, something's gotta give.

• 50:02Lewis Howes?

  Well, I mean, if you've been tra- I mean, just, I don't know, I don't know Brady's life or what, what is going on there, but if you've given so much to one thing for decades and you've built momentum. You don't ride on it, but you've laid the groundwork. So maybe you can have more time for family or other things, downtime. Once you've done twenty years of effort to master your skill. So there might be, you know, at a certain point, you can transition into, okay, now I have more time with friends or family or whatever it is. Again, I don't know, his personal life, but. So maybe not all at once, but I think.

• 50:38Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct, but it's an interesting exploration.

• 50:40Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 50:41Emmanuel Acho?

  It's an interesting exploration as so many people, when they hang it up, retire from their profession. I just wanna spend more time with my spouse and my kids.

• 50:50Lewis Howes?

  I mean Oprah hung it up, right? I mean, she stopped her show and transitioned into different shows and projects.

• 50:57Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct, and now, you know, she'll, she'll do three, four conversations a year. She'll produce a couple of things.

• 51:01Lewis Howes?

  She's got her Apple show, right? She's got, whenever she wants to do it, I guess.

• 51:04Emmanuel Acho?

  But she, um, you know, when she was banging out her show, two hundred sixty days a year. I mean, just going, going, going. Uh, but I think even she would admit, like, and her and I spoke last week. I think even she would admit, like, didn't have the same level of downtime, didn't have the same peace about life, didn't have that same tranquility.

• 51:26Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 51:26Emmanuel Acho?

  Uh, even you're grinding away, dude.

• 51:28Lewis Howes?

  I'm in the grind phase.

• 51:29Emmanuel Acho?

  You're in the grind phase. You just finished one conversation, you having another conversation.

• 51:33Lewis Howes?

  But at one point, at one point, I see a evolution, you know, and it's been evolving over the last nine years. And I see a evolution of when you bring in an amazing team and you're able to systematize and you're able to create other, you know, parts of a network and shows. It doesn't have to be you grinding in the same area.

• 51:52Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct.

• 51:53Lewis Howes?

  You can evolve.

• 51:54Emmanuel Acho?

  I can't wait for that.

• 51:55Lewis Howes?

  You know, I mean, it's like, if you wanted to do ten more books, you aren't gonna be the one that has to write them all yourself. You can have support. A ghostwriter to help with you or an editor or something, so it's not just all you. You can evolve beyond it.

• 52:07Emmanuel Acho?

  Correct.

• 52:08Lewis Howes?

  But there is a period of time where we must go all in on something. Absolutely, for years. To do, if you wanna do anything at a high level, you've gotta obsess over something, you know, an instrument, your art, your craft, whatever it might be, so. Hundred percent agree that you can't have it all. I can't be the greatest public speaker in the world and a media host and this and then playing the guitar and touring around the world or whatever. It's like. But I feel like you can have your all.

• 52:34Emmanuel Acho?

  So then, then it comes down to if people's all, like my all right now is significance. People say, Emmanuel, how'd you get so successful? I don't care about success. I care about significance.

• 52:45Lewis Howes?

  What does that mean? Impact?

• 52:47Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah.

• 52:47Lewis Howes?

  Service.

• 52:48Emmanuel Acho?

  Impact.

• 52:50Lewis Howes?

  But significance, I feel like when I think of significance, it's me being significant. As opposed to being of service and creating significance in the world.

• 53:01Emmanuel Acho?

  I, I say they're the same. Why would I say they're the same is you being of service is significant to you.

• 53:06Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 53:06Emmanuel Acho?

  Like, for example, um, it was 2014. I'm laying in my bed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and playing for the Eagles at the time. And these words came into my head and I never was able to shake them. And I literally, I end a logical with this. That's the last thing in the book. My desire is to inspire those to go higher, past the required, so those I admire can also admire whom they've inspired before they expire.

• 53:30Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's beautiful.

• 53:31Emmanuel Acho?

  And it was like, I was like, wait a second. I was laying in there and it was literally what you just said, impact, significance. My desire is to inspire those to go higher, past the required. So those they admire can also admire whom they inspire before they expire. I was like, that's my life. I didn't come up with it. It was just, it was imprinted onto my heart. My, my true desire, dude, I just want to inspire people to be a better version of themselves.

• 53:58Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 53:58Emmanuel Acho?

  So that the people who admire me, I can admire them before I get a bat of here.

• 54:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 54:04Emmanuel Acho?

  That.

• 54:04Lewis Howes?

  So you mentoring or supporting others.

• 54:08Emmanuel Acho?

  Being God.

• 54:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 54:09Emmanuel Acho?

  Dude, what's, one of my favorite things is when people are like, I saw your uncomfortable conversations and I use that. And we've now built a curriculum around it or at our job.

• 54:18Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's cool.

• 54:18Emmanuel Acho?

  I'm like, y'all admired me for sitting down and having these conversations. Now in turn, I'm admiring you for having conversations based upon a conversation I had.

• 54:29Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 54:30Emmanuel Acho?

  I'm like, that, bro, is my deepest desire.

• 54:34Lewis Howes?

  Now, now here's my, I'm gonna get back to this, cause I want to put a bow around this topic of self-love.

• 54:43Lewis Howes?

  What's it gonna take for you or anyone as they start to break through certain levels of success or accomplishment or whatever they might be looking for? What's it gonna take for people to increase their level of self-love with criticism? With the weight of gold, as the Olympians call it? I don't know if you've seen that documentary, The Weight of Gold? Powerful about how Olympians, not all, some of them get extremely depressed after they accomplish the gold medal or the Olympics. Some even commit suicide and things different things because what's next? And I'm living from this past now as opposed to something greater for myself. So how can we, when we accomplish, when we succeed, when we get recognition, significance,

• 55:25Lewis Howes?

  develop deeper sense of self-love as opposed to you go from an eight to a six and a half? I'm not saying it's bad or something, but how do you stay at an eight or improve as you make more impact in the world, as you accomplish more and have more that you've received? That's my question for you on how you can do that personally and how we can support others in doing that as they accomplish.

• 55:49Emmanuel Acho?

  I think it's a constant journey. I'd be lying if there was an answer. I think it's a constant journey. And again, I've referenced it so many times, but I felt so seen in reading Will's book because he was like, I was my own drill sergeant. His own drill sergeant. And I think it's a constant journey, man, of trying to say like, hey, it's okay to fall.

• 56:08Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 56:09Emmanuel Acho?

  It's okay if one of your books don't best sell.

• 56:11Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 56:12Emmanuel Acho?

  It's okay if a conversation doesn't go as great as you thought. It's okay if this date didn't go as great as you thought. It's okay if this relationship ends. It's okay if this job isn't for you. It's okay. And I think it's that constant exploration of saying like, you know, it's okay not to be okay.

• 56:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:30Emmanuel Acho?

  And what you just said is like, dude, what happens if you lose it all? You're back where you were two years ago.

• 56:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Emmanuel Acho?

  And I think-

• 56:37Lewis Howes?

  Well, you're an eight. Self-love.

• 56:39Emmanuel Acho?

  I think it's reconciling that. I think it's reconciling like, let go of that.

• 56:47Emmanuel Acho?

  Fear of failure. Um, because I've let it, that's why I stopped setting goals is to let go of that. But now it's like, now that you've achieved, it's okay. Just the, to me again, it's just a matter of like, hey, you've, you've, you've, you've made it.

• 57:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:06Emmanuel Acho?

  But there, if we're being honest, there's just a dichotomy that I'm, that I'm figuring out along this.

• 57:13Lewis Howes?

  I think this will be powerful for you over the next few years or whenever you figure this out. To share with me or share with your audience. How people can accomplish, achieve and have the responsibility of success and continue to have immense self-love. And I think it comes, for me, what I've learned is letting go of the expectation of the accomplishments. You know, my last book, my first book was a New York Times bestseller and then there was an expectation. I gotta make the next one a New York Times bestseller. Probably same for you. I gotta make this, this is big, if not bigger. And I remember going into it saying, my, my last book, I was like, you know what? I'm writing a book that's probably not going to be the biggest thing ever. Cause it's talking about how men can be more vulnerable.

• 57:57Emmanuel Acho?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:57Lewis Howes?

  And it came out right when Me Too happened. So I was writing this a couple of years before and it came out during it. I was like, this could either be the biggest thing in the world or this could be like the last thought people have. Is how men can heal their hearts. And it did well, but didn't hit New York Times bestseller list. And I remember for a day I was like, if I'm being honest, I was upset and angry and frustrated. That it didn't, it hit the numbers, but it didn't hit the list. And I said, what was the reason why I wanted to write this in the first place? It was to be able to help one man who might be going through mental challenges or struggles to heal. And improve the quality of their relationship with their partner, their friends, their family, and then their community and the world. And it's been doing that. It's been continuing to do that year after year.

• 58:40Lewis Howes?

  And I'm just like, I gotta keep focusing on the impact and the significance, like you call it, the service to one human being, or thousands, or millions, whoever wants to listen or read or consume. And when I, it took a few days to kind of let that go, my ego go of being hurt or frustrated or angry. Angry. And when I did that, I just said, okay, I'm gonna just really appreciate the people that are reading it, that are messaging me and take it in and be like, wow, that was impactful, that person. And that's been a big game changer for me. Um, it still doesn't mean I don't want to accomplish goals and all these things and, and, you know, succeed in my own, in my own right, but it letting go of the expectation of it needing to look a certain way has been extremely helpful for me still loving myself,

• 59:26Lewis Howes?

  even with the success.

• 59:27Emmanuel Acho?

  And I think.

• 59:28Lewis Howes?

  It's hard to do though, because the bit you get, people expect it, you expect it.

• 59:32Emmanuel Acho?

  That part.

• 59:32Lewis Howes?

  It's the expectation.

• 59:33Emmanuel Acho?

  People expect.

• 59:34Lewis Howes?

  And they'll look at you differently. Oh, why didn't it get New York Times this time? Or why didn't it do a million copies this time if it did half a million last time? Or that video used, got five million views, why did this one get a million?

• 59:47Emmanuel Acho?

  To me, there's such a fear of, in life in general, in my mind, of other people's expectations of you.

• 59:54Lewis Howes?

  Gosh, so how do we let go of that?

• 59:58Emmanuel Acho?

  I've journeyed with it and at times I do well with it, at times I don't. Um, I, I, I'll say it in story form. Morcuus cuus phobia, morcuus cuus phobia, the fear of ketchup. True thing. Sixth grade, bro. Sixth grade, I'm at my friend's house eating a burger. And his older brother walks in and he throws something at the table. My friend runs and hides behind, uh, the chair. I'm like, yo, what the heck just happened? I look at what his brother threw at the table and I see it was a ketchup packet. And after checking on my friend, I bust the packet open, I finish eating my fries. And I was like, wait a second, I really thought about that story and learned a lesson. We can't be afraid of other people's fears. And so often in life, we're afraid of other people's fears. Imagine if I would have ran and hid because of a ketchup packet like my friend did.

• 1:00:43Emmanuel Acho?

  Friend was afraid of ketchup, more chiuscious phobia. I am not, but I'm not gonna hide because he was hiding. And I think what I've done at times is being afraid of other people's fears. So we all do, like, we're afraid of getting into a relationship because our friends are afraid of commitment. We're afraid of getting out of that toxic relationship because our friends are afraid of being single. Well, we've never left a small city in Texas, our parents haven't, so we're not going to. And I think the only way to get rid of that is to let go of other people's fears. Let go of other people's expectations. Because, truth be told, it's other people's expectations that kind of dictate the weight of our own imagination.

• 1:01:25Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 1:01:27Emmanuel Acho?

  When you think about one-hit wonders in the music industry. They're one-hit wonders because we called them that. We called them a wonder and we said that song was a hit. So, I think it's a matter of not being afraid of other people's fears and letting go of other people's expectations, which dictate our own, man.

• 1:01:44Lewis Howes?

  If you could go back, when was the post you did? First post, two years ago?

• 1:01:50Emmanuel Acho?

  It was June 1st, 2020.

• 1:01:52Lewis Howes?

  June 1st, 2020. If you could go back the day before June 1st and have a conversation with yourself from where you are now to that day. And you're about to go in and do this thing, or maybe it's the morning of and you're about to put this video out that you've been thinking about and you wrote the script to, or you didn't write the script, I think it was all off the cuff. But you've been organizing in your mind for a period of time and sit down, if you were gonna literally stand face to face and have a conversation with yourself almost two years prior, what would you say? Before you jumped in and did this video? With everything you know now, what would you say?

• 1:02:32Emmanuel Acho?

  I would say two things. The first would be breathe, it's gonna be okay. Cause I I I couldn't eat that morning. I didn't say anything. I'd say breathe, it's gonna be okay. And then I would say buckle up, your life is about to change forever. Wow. Cause when I recorded that video, I lived in Austin, Texas. I now live in Los Angeles, California. When I recorded that video, I worked for another sports network. I've since switched. When I recorded that video, um, I had no team outside of a broadcasting agent. I now have a team of like five to 10 people. When I recorded that video, I wasn't in partnership with Oprah. I now am. I would say buckle up, man. Your life's about to change forever. And I'd say prepare yourself.

• 1:03:17Emmanuel Acho?

  Um, because it's about to be a roller coaster of good and bad. What did you need to prepare yourself? How could you have prepared yourself more? Emotionally, emotionally. Um, I could have let go of my desire to please all people. Uh, I think it's Abe Lincoln. You are either please all people some of the time or some people all the time.

• 1:03:43Emmanuel Acho?

  I could have prepared myself. Uh, you, nobody prepares you in my mind for like how to be well-known. Unless you're the son of somebody famous, right? And fame is, you know, and it is famous relatives. That's why I said a well-known. Nobody prepares you for that. And nobody prepares you for the constant opinions of other people, bro. It's hard. I had a depth of loneliness after I first saw you, maybe a month later. Really? In December of 2020, just depressed. Really? Yeah, because thousands of people, I love you, thanks for the conversations. But then I'm sitting in my house in Beverly Hills, just by myself, just, you know, no friends, middle of a pandemic, just isolated.

• 1:04:25Emmanuel Acho?

  Nobody prepares you for the constant comments, Acho, you're a sellout. Constant comments, Acho, you're a racebator. Acho, you're a race grifter. Nobody prepares you for that. So I would have told myself buckle up. Um, it's gonna be tough, but it'll be worth it.

• 1:04:44Lewis Howes?

  And if you were sitting in front of yourself right now, your two-year-old self, older than today, what would you say to prepare you for these next two years?

• 1:04:55Emmanuel Acho?

  So now-

• 1:04:56Lewis Howes?

  Your future self.

• 1:04:57Emmanuel Acho?

  Yeah, what would it say to this self?

• 1:04:58Lewis Howes?

  Yes. And with everything that you've created and learned and are going to learn, and you have this experience now, your future self, what would your future self say to you?

• 1:05:07Emmanuel Acho?

  Enjoy the process. Enjoy the process. I think the biggest thing I've forgotten, and I think the biggest thing so many people can forget, we forget to enjoy the process. We forget to enjoy the journey.

• 1:05:21Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:05:21Emmanuel Acho?

  The fun isn't winning, but you can still find joy in the journey, win or lose. And at times, I don't enjoy the process because I'm so focused on moving that I don't enjoy where I am. When you have an objective without limitations, it's all about movement, man. It's all about movement. But you gotta enjoy the journey. These conversations, enjoy them. Your third book, dude, I'm the only person not named Oprah to have multiple books under the Oprah imprint.

• 1:05:52Lewis Howes?

  Right. It's crazy, man. Enjoy it.

• 1:05:54Emmanuel Acho?

  Enjoy. I didn't know Oprah 17 months ago. She'd walk right by you.

• 1:05:57Lewis Howes?

  Now you got three books.

• 1:05:59Emmanuel Acho?

  Now I got three books. So enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process.

• 1:06:04Lewis Howes?

  I think everyone needs to hear that for sure. Illogical: Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits, Emmanuel Acho. This thing is gonna be inspiring. Lots of great lessons, wisdom, stories. Yeah, don't let other people's fears become your own. That's what I just opened up. So the first thing I opened up, right there. So don't let other people's fears become your own. Powerful stuff, man. I got a couple of final questions for you. I asked these same the last time. Before I ask them, I want people to follow you on social media. You got great content over there. If you love sports and life lessons, you always have these great moments when you're at the sports desk, sharing your life lessons, which I love that stuff. Get the book, Illogical: Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits. Make sure you guys check this out.

• 1:06:49Lewis Howes?

  Get a few copies for your friends. Share with people. And if anything, when you're reading it, you get a handsome smile on the back of the book. So make sure you spread the light and love with your friends.

• 1:07:01Lewis Howes?

  This is called The Three Truths. I asked you last time, and I've got your three truths here. I'm curious if it's changed. If this was your last day and you've accomplished everything you want to accomplish. And you've lived as long as you want to live, but eventually you gotta turn the lights out. And you can't leave anything behind. Your message, your content, your books, there's none of this behind. So all of your words and content goes with you somewhere else. But you had three things you could share with the world, three lessons. What I like to call three truths, what would you say were yours?

• 1:07:33Emmanuel Acho?

  Ooh, it's so funny because it's been what 18 months and I don't remember what I said last time. I can't wait for this. I think my, my most important truth. Love God, love others. I think I'll, I'll never flinch or waver on that. Love God, love Jesus, love others. That's, that's just, that's me as a man of faith. I can't waver from that. I think my second biggest truth. Man, and I love this and I forever loved it. You're worth getting to know. You're worth getting to know, man. I think that's hit me more now than ever, bro. It's like, people don't realize they're valued and people don't realize like you are worth getting to know.

• 1:08:16Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 1:08:18Emmanuel Acho?

  My third biggest truth. Where would it be right now? If I could only leave a truth. You have the ability to change the world. You truly do. And I just wish people would believe that. Changing the world looks different for different people. But you have the ability to change your world. Those would be my three. What were my three last time?

• 1:08:49Lewis Howes?

  If people want to know, they have to go listen to the three. You had two of the three identical. So if people want to know what they are, they'll have to go check that out. We'll have it linked up for you to listen to that. Before I ask the final question Emmanuel, I want to acknowledge you man for your constant growth and your commitment to service. I think people can get scared of success or they get scared of the growth as fast as you've had it and the fact that you keep showing up, keep delivering, and I think learning about yourself in this process is really beautiful and keep serving. It's really cool man and I just am excited to know that you're continuing on this journey, that you're gonna keep showing up. I don't see you stopping anytime soon. No matter what

• 1:09:34Lewis Howes?

  happens with books and projects and other stuff, just keep serving and I really acknowledge you for being authentic to who you are man. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing to witness. My final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:09:45Emmanuel Acho?

  Ah, that's definitely changed since. My definition of greatness, oh, um,

• 1:09:57Emmanuel Acho?

  my definition of greatness would be stepping outside of the box that others have built around you and constantly becoming the greatest version of yourself. I don't like using a definition of definition, so stepping outside of the box that others have built around you and constantly becoming the best version of yourself, constantly evolving. We have to constantly evolve and learn to fall in love with the evolution of ourself, so now step outside of these boxes, bro. Cause there is a box there. Step outside of it, let's evolve and let's just become the best version of ourself, man.

• 1:10:33Lewis Howes?

  My man, appreciate you.

• 1:10:35Emmanuel Acho?

  Freakin' brother.

• 1:10:37Lewis Howes?

  I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately,

• 1:11:16Lewis Howes?

  that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.