Ice Cube

Rapper, actor, and producer Ice Cube feels like he’s about to throw up in his mouth about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Ice Cube sits down with Conan to discuss how a typewriting class inspired him to write rap, following the vision of Eazy-E as N. W. A. skyrocketed to worldwide success, founding the pro 3-on-3 basketball league BIG3, and much more. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (323) 362-2295.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 0:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:43Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:46Speaker 01

  Can you?

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• 1:25Speaker 03

  Yo, what's up? My name is Ice Cube.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  And I feel like I'm about to throw up in my mouth.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  About my homie Conan. About my homie Conan O'Brien.

• 1:42Conan O'Brien?

  You can't even say my name. You're so disgusted.

• 1:44Speaker 04

  I thought you'd feel about being his friend.

• 1:46Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, that's incredible.

• 2:09Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm blessed with two good friends.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:15Conan O'Brien?

  But they're not with us now.

• 2:17Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 2:18Conan O'Brien?

  Instead, we have Sona Mobesian.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  That makes me feel more comfortable.

• 2:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. How are you guys?

• 2:23Speaker 04

  I'm good.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  Everyone good?

• 2:24Speaker 01

  I'm doing all right. How are you doing?

• 2:26Conan O'Brien?

  I'm doing OK. I'm doing pretty good.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:28Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, you ever wear contacts, Sona?

• 2:30Speaker 01

  I all, I've been wearing contacts since I was like 12.

• 2:33Conan O'Brien?

  I started trying it recently.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, we know.

• 2:36Conan O'Brien?

  Just out of convenience and I'm doing it more and more now.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:41Conan O'Brien?

  And I, I don't know. What was your experience with them?

• 2:43Speaker 01

  You were struggling at first.

• 2:44Conan O'Brien?

  I really struggled because

• 2:46Speaker 01

  I was fine.

• 2:47Conan O'Brien?

  I'm eye phobic? I'm eye phobic. I don't like things getting near my eye. And then suddenly the people would say, oh, it's easy. Just jam this onto your eyeball.

• 2:56Speaker 04

  This reminds me, we were gonna do a whole thing where you brought your contacts in and tried to get you to put them in. Remember, we talked about this and we were gonna do a follow-up.

• 3:04Conan O'Brien?

  Now I've gotten good, so it wouldn't even be a good segment anymore. Now they come in, they go out. I, I put them on. What's weird is the one on the right, my right eye is for reading and the left is for slight correction on the distance.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  Ugh.

• 3:20Conan O'Brien?

  Is that how you?

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Do you read like this?

• 3:21Conan O'Brien?

  I know. They told me, oh, you get used to it.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 3:24Conan O'Brien?

  Is that what people do? Or am I being sold a bag of hash?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  I think they had two leftover contact lines.

• 3:32Conan O'Brien?

  You're saying I got scammed?

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I think.

• 3:34Conan O'Brien?

  They did go, uh. And I did notice when I left, everyone was laughing.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, one of them's a colored contact line.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, can I tell you? If I did see you come into my office, I would say anything just to upsell you. So like, I feel like sometimes

• 3:50Conan O'Brien?

  And I did a lot of bits that day.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  You did. I was there. I know.

• 3:53Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. We talked about this, but I went in hot. I was doing so many bits for everybody in the waiting room. I was killing.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:01Conan O'Brien?

  And to the point where I just kept wanting to go back out to the waiting room to do more bits. And they were saying, we need to keep, we've just put something in your eye, some, to dilate it. You've gotta settle down. And I'm like, no, no, I didn't get that lady in the corner. Uh, she's tough, but I'll get her. Uh, it was insanity.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I think that what I'm saying is like, they, maybe they did that to you and they don't normally so that both eyes get worse, so that you have to keep going back to the eye doctor's office.

• 4:27Conan O'Brien?

  Why would they do that?

• 4:27Speaker 01

  And they know you're like needy and you need to get that woman in the corner, so you keep going back.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  She was a plant.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  And then they keep upselling you. Yeah, she's a plant.

• 4:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, they were telling me. Oh, so this is interesting. This is what businesses could start doing. Putting a plant in whose job is not to laugh at anything I do.

• 4:45Speaker 04

  Did you notice the bookshelves were lined with Robert Caro books too?

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:49Conan O'Brien?

  No, have someone who doesn't laugh and I'll just keep coming back to your tire store and buying more winter tires in Los Angeles. You know?

• 5:00Speaker 04

  Tractor tires.

• 5:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, tractor tires, every kind of tire. And that's the trick to get me to come in. They want me to come to their restaurant, just hire one waiter who just never gives it up.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:10Conan O'Brien?

  And I'll go back every night. Yeah, yeah. Hey, look at this impression. You know, uh, why the chicken crossed the road?

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would totally upsell you all the time. You're also very trusting. I feel like you just believe people.

• 5:22Conan O'Brien?

  OK, do you think that that's? I'm asking the general community of ophthalmologists. I have one contact on my right eye, which is a completely different strength magnification than the one on the left. Is that crazy? And I keep crashing my car now.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Well, both eyes are never, not never, but they're not usually the same.

• 5:42Conan O'Brien?

  Right, right.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  But it's weird that one is for reading and one is not.

• 5:46Conan O'Brien?

  They made the case that, that your eye just, your brain figures it out and then you start. Is, Eduardo, you're nodding. What do you know about this?

• 5:53Speaker 04

  You wanna hear something really hilarious? My ophthalmologist just called me as you guys were having this conversation. Uh, but anyhow.

• 6:00Conan O'Brien?

  Let's ask the question.

• 6:01Speaker 04

  I, I almost answered so that you could ask the ophthalmologist. But anyhow, uh, no, it's completely normal. Your, your brain tricks your eyes into settling, in your case, uh, adjusting to one being different.

• 6:14Conan O'Brien?

  So this will adjust?

• 6:15Speaker 04

  Yes, absolutely.

• 6:16Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, I think it already kinda has in a way.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  Did you ever have progressive or bifocals? Cause you, you get used to that too.

• 6:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I did. I got used to that.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:22Conan O'Brien?

  OK, so I just wanted to put it out there. Sometimes I like to use the podcast to just, um, discuss my medical maladies and see if I can get free advice.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:31Conan O'Brien?

  Like someone will, yeah, someone will call in and go, no, actually, you know, that's a, that's a pretty wise course of action. Or else, no, you've been played for a fool.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  Your eyes are bleeding, we should tell you.

• 6:41Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, they always bleed. They always bleed. Yeah.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I would, I would lie just to make you keep coming back. Like if I was your dentist, I'd be like, you need braces. And then I would sell you braces. I would like

• 6:54Conan O'Brien?

  Just to see me and giant headgear?

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Giant head.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  And a neck brace and then those

• 7:02Conan O'Brien?

  I don't have a date for the prom.

• 7:03Speaker 04

  Put your hands up here like this.

• 7:05Conan O'Brien?

  I'm in my early 60s and I don't have a date for the prom.

• 7:09Conan O'Brien?

  What about, uh, well, this is, this is really fascinating. The other thing I thought I could do is get a monocle.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 7:17Conan O'Brien?

  For really?

• 7:18Speaker 04

  Really?

• 7:19Conan O'Brien?

  Can you, can you imagine if I had a monocle? Because one of the things, when I got glasses, I was so happy because you can do bits with them. If I had a monocle and it had one of those like strings on it.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:27Conan O'Brien?

  And you know, like Colonel Clink and Huggers here, I just had a monocle in this eye for reading. But then if anyone said anything slightly shocking, oh, I could drop out, which is, you know?

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Just for the bit you want it, you're saying?

• 7:38Conan O'Brien?

  I want it for the bit.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:39Conan O'Brien?

  More and more, if I thought there were a lot of good bits to like a prosthetic foot, I would have my foot taken.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, Conan!

• 7:47Speaker 04

  Why don't you start with a monocle?

• 7:50Conan O'Brien?

  Start with a monocle.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, start with the monocle. There are a lot of bits to one leg.

• 7:54Conan O'Brien?

  It'd be so much, oh, my God, I don't have a, I don't have a leg to stand on. Pull my foot off.

• 8:00Conan O'Brien?

  And then that, even those people that were hired not to laugh at me, they still laugh.

• 8:04Speaker 04

  Let me put my foot down. Let me put my foot down.

• 8:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna do some soul searching. Found it!

• 8:14Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, these are good bits.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  What a heel.

• 8:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, whatever, you know? Look at this. You're liking it. The podcast would

• 8:21Speaker 04

  I'm in.

• 8:22Conan O'Brien?

  How many times it would come across? It would, it would help the podcast.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  My grandpa had one leg.

• 8:26Conan O'Brien?

  What's that? He did?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Did it. My, my, yeah, my K-Cord did it. No, no, not that did it.

• 8:32Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, how many deades do you have?

• 8:34Speaker 01

  I have two, I had two deades.

• 8:35Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know in your crazy culture what you got. Maybe you got seven.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  Most people, everybody has two, like grandpas biologically.

• 8:42Conan O'Brien?

  I had two grandpas.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Well, I had two deades.

• 8:44Conan O'Brien?

  Well, stop that.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  So one of the deades, how

• 8:46Conan O'Brien?

  Isn't one deada and you're there like data or something?

• 8:48Speaker 01

  No, one is one, they're both deades, but one of the deades didn't live that long.

• 8:52Conan O'Brien?

  So he's dead.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  The dead deada?

• 8:57Conan O'Brien?

  That is dead.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  I had a Q core dead, which was my dad's dead. I mean, my dad's dad.

• 9:02Conan O'Brien?

  Your dad's dad's.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  I had a Tanya dead, who was my mom's dad.

• 9:06Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  No, fuck you.

• 9:09Conan O'Brien?

  That's gorly.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  You wish you had a dead.

• 9:10Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, my grandpa had one leg too. He also had the other one. Okay, nice. Nice. You know what? This might be the best intro ever, but Sona.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:20Conan O'Brien?

  He had one leg. Why did he have one leg?

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Cause he had diabetes and they had to cut one of.

• 9:24Conan O'Brien?

  And he had a wooden leg. It's better if he fell asleep on a train track. That's a better story.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  That's better than diabetes?

• 9:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, diabetes is just like, oh, that's no fun.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  But the train track is gruesome.

• 9:32Conan O'Brien?

  But it's a better story.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you're right.

• 9:35Conan O'Brien?

  And from now on, just say, well, he was a hobo for a while and he fell asleep on the train track.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  But just one leg.

• 9:40Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, his blood sugar was a little out of alignment. That's not good.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he had like one of the wooden ones, like.

• 9:45Conan O'Brien?

  Whoa.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, like a wooden leg. Now they're cool.

• 9:49Conan O'Brien?

  Did you ever buy him a parrot? It's just be a fun thing to get.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  No, I didn't buy dead a parrot.

• 9:53Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  And I've had, fuck you.

• 9:56Conan O'Brien?

  He had a wooden leg?

• 9:57Speaker 01

  He had a wooden leg.

• 9:58Conan O'Brien?

  Did it bend in the middle?

• 9:59Speaker 01

  No, it was that his leg was cut at the knee and then he would sometimes take it off to show us his, his stuff.

• 10:06Conan O'Brien?

  It was made of wood? When, what, was this like 1911?

• 10:10Speaker 01

  It was the eighties. Dead, that was alive in the eighties.

• 10:12Conan O'Brien?

  I know, they had better stuff than wood then.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  No, they didn't, did they?

• 10:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Did they? Yeah, but he's not gonna be on blades, like, you know, like, you know, like the, like the Paralympians.

• 10:23Conan O'Brien?

  That'd be great if your dead had been on a blade and his. So one leg walked at about two miles an hour and the other leg went 65 miles an hour. So all he did was go in, all he did was go in circles really fast. But a roller blade. Oh, my God.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 10:39Conan O'Brien?

  I swear to God, there's an opening to the podcast here somewhere. But anyway, um, yeah, can you imagine if I had one blade on my, and, and then I had a different contact and one eye?

• 10:50Speaker 01

  No, monocle and, and headgear.

• 10:52Conan O'Brien?

  And headgear.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  And braces.

• 10:53Conan O'Brien?

  There we go, we wrapped it all up.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  You'd be the coolest guy in the world.

• 10:55Conan O'Brien?

  That was nicely done. Here he comes, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. I can't see where I am and I can't see where I was.

• 11:03Conan O'Brien?

  My guest today. Settle down. My guest today is a founding member of the legendary rap group NWA and has appeared. It's so, there's no way.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  I can't believe this is the intro for him.

• 11:15Conan O'Brien?

  And has appeared in the legendary rap group NWA. And has appeared in such movies as Boys in the Hood and Barbershop. He also founded the three on three basketball league. This sounds cool. Uh, Big Three, which is currently in its ninth season and can be streamed on Paramount Plus and Fubo. Very excited to chat with him today. I always love my time with this gentleman.

• 11:43Conan O'Brien?

  Ice Cube, welcome.

• 11:48Conan O'Brien?

  Bunch of years ago, we shot this goofy remote. We didn't think anything was gonna happen. You, me, Kevin Hart. I can't go anywhere in the world without people coming up to me and talking about us with the Lyft driver. And then we shot another one with a student driver where we ended up downtown buying weed.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:07Conan O'Brien?

  And.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  The good old days.

• 12:08Conan O'Brien?

  The good old days. I think just one of those has like 120 million views.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 12:15Conan O'Brien?

  I go anywhere and what's funny is people think that I do that with you all the time. People are like, how's Cube? And I said, well, yesterday I was driving around.

• 12:26Conan O'Brien?

  That was like this, these, we did it twice. It was really fun. And I had known you because you came on the show a lot. We always had great chemistry, but we did that thing. It blew up. I think half of it is you and Kevin just making fun of me, which was, people seem to enjoy that.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  It, it was, uh, it was totally improv, which was so cool. You know, I, when I heard, I said, we're doing Conan on a Saturday? How? You know, he's like, no, we're gonna do a skit. I'm like, well, what's the skit? We're looking for pages. No, no, no pages. Uh, you guys are gonna just, since you're doing a movie called Ride Along. You guys are just gonna pull, you know, call a Lyft, pull, you know, when it pull up.

• 13:06Conan O'Brien?

  And it wasn't set up? The guy didn't know it was gonna be us? We called a Lyft?

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Called a Lyft. They, they rushed the guy, you know, I think they gave him, you know, a hundred and $20 or something. Put all these cameras in his car.

• 13:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  And we jumped in and had fun. I was like, I said, Conan is being cheap, man. We don't have no script. We just, we just, just go, what if it, we just gonna do some shit, okay? So, so it was, um, it was funny because it was so real.

• 13:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it was very real.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  And, and you know, you can't, you can't script stuff like that.

• 13:43Conan O'Brien?

  And you kept saying you wanted to put me out on the street as a male prostitute. You kept saying, let's turn him out. We'll make some good money.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Good money?

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Good money?

• 13:54Conan O'Brien?

  Well, they'd make money.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Money?

• 13:57Conan O'Brien?

  Well, they might get like a chicken as barter. They might get, they could trade something.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Have you, have you seen the hoes on Santa Monica lately?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  He would have made some money, cuz.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  He would have made some money, man. If they making money, he would have.

• 14:18Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, man. Uh, no, just great chemistry and we've done a bunch of things over the years. I love, uh, you were.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Oh, shit.

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  Uh-oh. That's your agent saying, I tried to cancel the Conan thing. I tried to get you out. I know you said no.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Too late, I'm already here, man. All right, I hit, I hit soon I get out of here. Then you're fired.

• 14:45Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? It's just funny to me because it's, it's fascinating to me that clearly people that are funny were always funny. So you play comedy so well, you must have always been funny. And it's funny because when you first, it's interesting because when you first showed up on the scene with NWA, Straight Outta Compton. You show up, you didn't have to be funny at all. You were a great writer, a great rapper. You're part of this revolutionary group. But pretty soon afterwards, you must start realizing, I can do comedy.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you know, people always talk about the, the Eazy-E record that started it all, Boys in the Hood.

• 15:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  But on the flip side of that, it was a song called, uh, I Got A Fat Girl On My Jock.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  It was just a rap about him running from a fat girl in the neighborhood.

• 15:40Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  And it was funny. You know, people laughed. So we knew our message was hard, but we also wanted to figure out ways to sprinkle some comedy in it. You know, NWA was real hard, but, but actually the Eazy-E record.

• 15:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Full of, you know, kinda comedies, you know, little one liners, you know? And, uh, we knew we wanted to be hard, but entertaining at the same time.

• 16:09Conan O'Brien?

  It's interesting because rap has always had skits, like little sketches. And there was, and, and even in the hardest lyrics, there's really funny, uh, there's funny, you know, insults.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, dark humor for sure.

• 16:24Conan O'Brien?

  Really dark humor.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Goddamn, man.

• 16:26Conan O'Brien?

  Jesus.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  He's trying to get his job back.

• 16:28Conan O'Brien?

  He's got there. Get out of there.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  You're still fired, motherfucker.

• 16:36Conan O'Brien?

  You've got nine phones.

• 16:40Conan O'Brien?

  But yeah, so, cause your first movie, Boys in the Hood, not a comedy role, but there's comedy in there. And you're so great at Deadpan. You've got such a good thousand yard stare, but there's funny moments in Boys in the Hood.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:57Conan O'Brien?

  Even though it's a very dark, sad story, uh, there's also, um, lightness in there. And you could, I think that's what really makes it feel even more authentic is that even in the worst situations, there's always comedy.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  Without a doubt, you know, we laughed a lot, you know, all my friends, everybody I kinda gravitate to is funny, you know? So I had friends that was hilarious and, you know, them making me laugh all the time, me making them laugh. And that was just kinda the.

• 17:30Conan O'Brien?

  Now, guess what? Now my brother Neil is calling me.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 17:37Conan O'Brien?

  Neil, Neil, I'm on the podcast right now. I'm talking to Ice Cube, so I'm gonna jump off, but you wanna say hello to Ice Cube? Hey, Ice Cube, how are you? That's Neil, my brother Neil. All right, Neil.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  I don't wanna hear it, man. Bring the money or you're not gonna get him back.

• 17:52Conan O'Brien?

  I'll talk to you later, Neil.

• 17:55Conan O'Brien?

  That I didn't, hey, I've got my Do Not Disturb button. I don't even know how that came in. I honestly do. I don't know how.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you're right, you do.

• 18:01Conan O'Brien?

  I do, so, uh, anyway, go ahead.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  So comedy was all.

• 18:04Conan O'Brien?

  This is such a fucked up. I'm getting a call from my daughter. She wants to talk to you as well. All right, so go ahead. So comedy is always, always part of.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Part of, of growing up. Like, I don't remember not laughing, even through, you know, any situations that was going down in the hood. Like, even, that's why we wrote Friday. Because we was like, damn, we saw movies like Colors and, and, um, and South Central and Menace to Society and even Boys in the Hood. And we was like, damn, they think we, you know, grew up, you know, um, in this crazy war zone. But we had a little more fun growing up. You know, I'm looking around and I'm like, guys, didn't we have fun? Yeah, you play football on the street. And we had, you know, play stickball, basketball, you know, just tag and, you know,

• 18:53Speaker 03

  water balloon fights and all kind of stuff. So I'm like, man, we need to do a movie that really has more to tone on how we grew up. And then that's how Friday came about. We wanted to be the, the anti-depressing LA, you know, um, hood movie, so to speak.

• 19:11Conan O'Brien?

  Right. Just shootouts every five seconds and darkness and bleakness.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah, that's, that's, it's, that's movies, you know. Uh, there's, there's, it's unpredictability in the hood, which you don't know what day is gonna, you know, it's gonna be a good day or it's gonna be a day where, you know, something happened. You just never know, you know, walking out in the streets. So that's what made it, um, you know, kind of volatile and predictable.

• 19:37Conan O'Brien?

  What, uh, I, I read that, I was reading some interview with you and you said that you started writing rap lyrics because you were taking a typewriting class. And the other kids.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Way back in the 1900s.

• 19:53Conan O'Brien?

  And, and it got me thinking, are all great rappers, do they start in typewriting class?

• 20:01Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, if you talk to any of them, Jay-Z, whatever, they're like, yo, I was typing.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  You know, I don't think so. But I actually became a pretty good script writer. And so maybe that's why I was in typewriting class.

• 20:14Conan O'Brien?

  So this is through.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  I never threw out, I never knew I was gonna use typewriting.

• 20:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no. I, uh, it's so funny because I remember being in high school and this is, this dates all of us. But I had to take a typewriting class with old typewriters and.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Manual.

• 20:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Dear Mr. Johnson, I wish to inquire, they would give you these assignments to write these things because no one knew that these things are gonna be in a landfill in, in five years. But you clearly tapped into something because these kids dare you start writing, which is an outlet for you. And your parents were supportive, right?

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Very supportive. Uh, it started off in school, you know, I was real young, like, uh, fifth grade. I could do, you know, I could draw real good. So I got my teacher's attention. And then when, when it was time to kind of write what you did for the summer, I was able to really, you know, write a nice paragraph for, you know, a fifth grader. And so they end up putting that in the school paper. So as a youngster, I'm running around with this little, it wasn't even a paper, it was like a pamphlet. You know, pointing, look, look, look, my, my little, you know, essay or whatever got, got used and.

• 21:29Conan O'Brien?

  You got positive, you know, affirmation. You, you, you did something and it was singled out, which is huge when you're that age.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  It is. And, um, then they came to me when I went to the sixth grade, they was like, do you wanna do a speech for the class? Like, do you wanna talk to your graduating class? And I'm like, yeah, I do. And, and I wrote my little speech and, and delivered it. And it got a, you know, a nice, uh, a reception. So I'm like, oh damn, I can write it and I can speak it, you know? It's not just stuck on the page. And, um, and that, I think, sparked something. And, you know, when hip hop started to grow, uh, the typing thing came in the ninth grade when I was 14. I was late to all my counselors and shit, you know? They, you're supposed to get your electives. They kind of go to the counselor, get your electives.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Go to the counselor, get your electives. I never went. So when I got there, I had shitty electives. It was like typing, cooking, you know, uh, you know, re, horticulture and shit. You know, I'm like, ah, damn, I, I'm like, I wanna go to wood, I wanna do metal, I wanna do electric.

• 22:40Conan O'Brien?

  You wrote so many songs about horticulture. Three albums on horticulture.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  That's probably why I like weed so much. But, but, uh, you know, I learned how to grow it in ninth grade, you know? Uh, so, so, you know, I had some shitty electives, but I had to do them. So I'm like, I'm always like, if I'm here, we might as well win. Like, I'm not gonna be here not paying attention. I'mma get it and I'mma try to master it. And, um, you know, you do those little, you know, they put a, a, a shit on the board and you gotta type it up. But they want you to do 30 words a minute or they want you to like beat a minute thing. So me and my guy, we, we like, we should be fucking secretaries, you know? We, shit is kind of fun, you know? We like, you know, boom, boom, boom. And, uh,

• 23:30Conan O'Brien?

  This is just so, I love it. I just love it.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  You know, we hitting it, we like boom. And he's, he's the same as me, you know? He, uh, he didn't go to the counselors either. So he got shitty electives too. So we, like, you know, the only two dudes in this class like us. So we're like, uh, and, um, we beat the whole class, like, you know, and we're just talking. Everybody's still typing. And he looks at me and was like, you ever wrote a rap before? Like, uh, no. You write one, I write one. We'll see which one's best. And I was like, okay. And I wrote an original rap. He bit all kind of fucking raps. I'm like, I heard that from LL. That's a line from the Fat Boys. That's from Curtis Blow. Like, dude, you cheating.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  And he couldn't rap it. So mine was way better, you know what I mean?

• 24:23Conan O'Brien?

  But a hell of a typist though.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. He's a hell of a typist now. But, but he couldn't write it. I mean, he couldn't rap it. So I beat him, you know, outside of class. We rapping, we write a little piece of paper and shit. Man, I know that line, you know? And, um, he stopped, I kept going, of course.

• 24:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 24:49Conan O'Brien?

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• 25:27Conan O'Brien?

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• 26:12Conan O'Brien?

  Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should. But I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. That doesn't seem like a good idea. It's a great idea. Okay. You know, uh, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast? My god. Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice. I agree. T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best. Based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data, first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there. Oh.

• 27:00Conan O'Brien?

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• 27:42Conan O'Brien?

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• 28:18Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's crazy is I've heard you talk about your inspirations and you said, you know, like me, you're a sponge picking up stuff that's going on in the 70s. And back then, the biggest star in the world was Muhammad Ali. And I've thought about this many times because I'm obsessed with Muhammad Ali. I've watched tons of the footage on him. He does feel like the first rapper in some ways because he loved poetry and he had attitude and he could back it up.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 28:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And you're, and you're, and so you're tuning into people like Muhammad Ali or Richard Pryor. They didn't necessarily, not necessarily other rappers, but people that displayed an attitude and a defiance.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  James Brown too.

• 29:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, they were like the first real life superheroes in a way. The reason why Muhammad Ali, to me, like you said, becomes the first rapper because he, it wasn't, it wasn't just rapping in a way. He was like, I'm gonna kick your ass in six rounds and by the sixth round, your ass is kicked. So it was like, putting his money where his mouth is, backing it up. And so that made everything stick even more. And then, and then you got the like super fly kind of culture of, of, of just, you know, grown man doing a lot of shit talking, you know?

• 29:51Speaker 03

  And so rapping really is shit talking to a beat, you know? You just, you know, kind of shooting the shit, talking shit to a beat and then you sprinkle a little game in there at the same time.

• 30:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And it's, and it's the same thing, which is you gotta back it up.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 30:08Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and, but it's just amazing to me that even like early Eddie Murphy, there's a guy who's, he's a comedian, but he's got that, I'm gonna take over the world attitude and he's doing it.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:24Conan O'Brien?

  You know?

• 30:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was a bad boy too.

• 30:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and you can sort of channel all of that, which is fascinating to me. And I mean, you couldn't have been prepared for what happened.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:38Conan O'Brien?

  When you guys got together, 1989, Straight Outta Compton, and it just changed everything overnight.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, we was planning to be just an underground hardcore underground group, locals really. Compton, Long Beach, Watts, LA. We thought that was probably, you know, probably the, or nucleus and everything, you know, wasn't gonna be done too far from those places. That's, that was our mindset because we felt like the music we doing is too hard, too much profanity, and it's too LA, you know, street culture.

• 31:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  So.

• 31:18Conan O'Brien?

  Why would someone care about this?

• 31:19Speaker 03

  It's all nichey. It's getting more nichey and nichey to, you know, we feel like we're gonna be some neighborhood stars though. Like, we gonna run Compton, Watts, Long Beach, Long Beach, like, we running this. But far as being biggest Run DMC or biggest, you know, LL and, you know, all those super groups that we looked up to, we had no idea we would ever sniff that kind of fame.

• 31:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and it happened fast.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Overnight, you know, it was like an article in the LA Times by a Bob Hillburn. And it just took off from there, like, everybody was on us. And we had some singles out, but when we put that album together, it just exploded. Then on the record, Brian Turner, Priority Records calls us, you gotta get up here, you guys gotta get up here. What's up, what's up, what's up? You want us up there? And we go up there. He's like, man, did you see this shit? Did you see this? He's showing us a letter from the FBI, like, man, I just got this, man. And man, you know, this is crazy, what we gonna do? What we gonna do? You know, and Eazy was like, that's it?

• 32:34Speaker 03

  That's all they do? They not coming? No bataram, no fucking LAPD, no, no fucking, you know?

• 32:41Conan O'Brien?

  You look at it and go, it's well typed.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, scary.

• 32:46Conan O'Brien?

  That's a Corona.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, so I was, we was like, it's like, what the fuck is he so upset about? And he's like, man, that's the fucking FBI. We so naive.

• 32:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Okay, man. And then Eazy like, satellite publicity to me, man, we should tell everybody they trying to intimidate us. And I'm like, okay, you know, as long as it's not the LAPD or the sheriffs, I'm down to do whatever because those are the ones that really, you know, did a number on our neighborhoods. So we was young, you know, I'm 17, 18 years old, not even thinking that this is a real issue here.

• 33:27Conan O'Brien?

  That's interesting that Eazy, he's a fascinating guy that in that moment, he could see, this isn't a bad thing, this is a good thing.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  That was, that's why he's brilliant because he said the music was gonna be big. We said it's gonna be underground. He was like, no. And we like, yeah, yeah. Nobody's playing this on the radio. He's like, he's like, well, we gonna do radio versions, make them play it, take out the cussing.

• 33:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Okay, smart. All right, Mr. Eazy, you have something here, you know?

• 34:02Conan O'Brien?

  Add some acoustic guitars.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:04Conan O'Brien?

  A tambourine, see if Michael Bolton's available.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, let's clean it up.

• 34:08Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, and that, that, I mean, I really love the movie. Of course, your son was in Straight Outta Compton. It's just a great, it's a really good movie. Did you feel that was a pretty accurate representation? Because when you guys hit, you, you go on this tour.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:28Conan O'Brien?

  And the tour just looked like the fall of Rome. It's just, it's insanity.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  It was damn near that. Yeah, you know, with a movie.

• 34:37Conan O'Brien?

  And you're that age.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:38Conan O'Brien?

  You're that age and you guys are on this tour and.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  Having the time of our life, you know, with all the chaos. We were still like, we on the same stage as Run DMC, LL. We actually are on a national tour. Never thought it would happen. So everything after that was gravy.

• 34:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  Part of the adventure. Um, yeah, it was a, it was a, it was a crazy time. I forget the exact question you asked about, about Straight Outta Compton.

• 35:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Now, you know, you trying to sum up 10 years in two and a half hours.

• 35:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  So you have to create summaries of what happened.

• 35:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  And you're actually making a movie, so you have to have character arcs and you have to have, you know?

• 35:30Conan O'Brien?

  Conflict sometimes that can be summarized in a very simple way.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, and we tried to make a universal movie because like, if you're not a fan of, you know, a bitch is a bitch or fuck the police, you know, why should you see an NWA movie? And so we was like, okay, let's make a movie about brotherhood, let's make a movie about, you know, rags to riches, breakup to makeup, David versus Goliath, you know, all these universal themes wrapped into our story, you know? And that way, we was able to get the public to, to really fall in love with the characters and care for them.

• 36:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  You know, even though the characters are actually us.

• 36:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:17Conan O'Brien?

  But you're doing, I mean, given all those constraints, I, I mean, I love the movie.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 36:23Conan O'Brien?

  And.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  We're proud of it.

• 36:25Conan O'Brien?

  And I thought your son killed it. O'Shea, he's amazing.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  With a movie like that, um, there's a thousand ways to get it wrong and only a few ways to get it right.

• 36:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  You know, and my son, I went to him early in the process and I'm like, hey man, this NWA movie look like it's gonna happen. He's like, man, go for you, man, I'm happy for you. You know, he's playing his game and shit. I didn't even talk to you for real. All right, what's up, what's up? So I want you to play me. He looked back, he said, okay. I was like, ah, shit. He's like, all right, I got it. I'm like, wait a minute, man, you know, it's a process, we gotta, can't give it to you. You know what I mean?

• 37:17Speaker 03

  You gotta like, become an actor and like audition and, you know, like, the powers that be a universal have to, to, to grant you this part.

• 37:28Conan O'Brien?

  I'm hearing video game noises while you're telling him all this.

• 37:31Speaker 03

  You know, he like, yeah, he's, you know, I got you, I'm a guy, I said, okay. So I'm like, I said, okay, I already opened my mouth. I already opened my mouth, so I gotta make him quit.

• 37:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:44Speaker 03

  I gotta make him say, I don't want to do this. You know, so now I'm like, give me an acting coach, I want one in LA, find one in New York, I'm gonna send him everywhere to get better at this and see if he really wanted or he's gonna just, at some point, he'll be like, I don't wanna go to New York, you know, to act. So, um, he met with a couple of coaches and met with the one in LA and I said, so how's it going? You know, he's like, it's going good. He's like, man, me and my group gonna get together, we gonna do some improv stuff. I go, okay, you know? He's, he's falling in love with it, you know, he's like, taking it serious. I'm like, well, I want you, you know, I want you to go meet with this other person in New York.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  He's like, when, when you want me to go? I'm ready. I'm like, okay, this dude is, and I was happy that he just got bit by the bug and he just started to, you know, kind of fall in love with the process. And then I had to convince Gary Gray, you know, when I told him, I said, I want my son to play me. He was like, man.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  God damn, Q. I thought we was making a real movie. I said, look.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I said, we are making a real movie, man. I said, he's gonna be great. Now, you're gonna help him through this process like John Singleton helped me with Boys in the Hood. You gonna help him and he's gonna be great. And he was like, nah. So, he was looking at me sideways till the auditions. So now the auditions are here and my son gotta go. I'm not there. I sent him, he gotta do a screen test. I'm like, I don't wanna have no influence on nothing.

• 39:30Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Either you're good enough or not. And, um, and he gets there and there's four other Ice Cubes there. Ready to audition. So now he's pissed. It's like, y'all trying to take this out of my mouth. So, he really turns in the Ice Cube and gets the part. Gary calls me, yeah, he was the best one. You know, he's good, you know, and they, oh, I told you. Like I told you, man, you know, and, um, now he's, I mean, he's doing Star Wars. He's doing Godzilla. I can't get those damn movies. He's doing.

• 40:07Conan O'Brien?

  Be great if you also auditioned to play Ice Cube, but he beat you.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, he beat me in, turned me down. So.

• 40:13Conan O'Brien?

  Nah, he's more Ice Cubey than you.

• 40:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. So, you know, that's.

• 40:17Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's crazy is, I was thinking about it, it's not that you dabbled in acting. You've had a great acting career. That rap, that music, which was a phenomenal success. You could have just lived off of that the rest of your life and been thought of as one of the great legends of this art form. And then you look at, yeah, it's Boys in the Hood, Barbershop, the whole franchise, the whole Fridays franchise, um.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  Ride Along?

• 40:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, no, the Ride Along movies, but also, I mean, the, the comedy you do with, in Twenty One Jump Street, you know.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Captain Dixie.

• 40:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, which I always loved, cuz I just, I just, I, I, years ago, said, someone's gotta comment on, uh, police captains, sergeants that are always mad and no matter what happens, you know, you two, on my last nerve. And you were the perfect guy to play that police, you know, sergeant.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  I said, I wanna be the craziest one. Like, I don't, I don't want nobody to beat me out as the craziest captain ever. The black, mad, uh, captain, you know, who's always beating on the desk.

• 41:31Conan O'Brien?

  I love those, I mean, I, cuz I, in the seventies, I watched all those movies and then they obviously went into the eighties too, but just that same thing that you were having fun with in such a great way. But, you know, the cops would always do something amazing, like they'd break up the ring. They'd save the day. They'd defuse the bomb that was gonna blow up Los Angeles. They'd do all this stuff and then cut to the captain going, you idiots. You tempted the Buick Skylark. It was community property, you know. What?

• 42:06Conan O'Brien?

  It's the same thing in Top Gun, actually. The new, the, the new Top Gun movie that Tom Cruise made, uh, it's Jon Hamm. But I asked Jon Hamm about this, like, Tom Cruise is just saving the world left and right and Jon Hamm's always saying, you listen to me, you piece of shit.

• 42:23Conan O'Brien?

  If you ever save the world again without our permission. Love it. Just love it. But you have, I mean, it's, you are so good at being mad in a comedy way.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, you know, um, it's, it's, you know, I wanna thank John Singleton again. Because, you know, a lot of those that, you know, I kinda decided to just take the bull by the horns and, and produce them and, you know, write or, you know, direct or, you know, just kinda get behind the scenes. Cuz when I was doing Boys in the Hood, I would, I would, um, meet with John a lot. You know, he would have me coming over, watching movies. He would put you to film school, you know. He's like Clockwork Orange and all these movies. I'm like, oh damn. It's like, I gotta show you what's a good movie and what's a bad movie and why. And, um, one day he looked at me, he said, when you gonna write a movie?

• 43:18Speaker 03

  And I'm like, John, damn, man, come on, man. Like, I'm just not trying to act.

• 43:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I just got here.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like, you know, I'm, I'm still not sure I can act. And he said, um, you think you're gonna get movies good as Boys in the Hood for you? I'm like, uh, bro, I don't know. He said, no. He said, they have no movies for you, Q. You don't have to write your own. And I'm like, hmm, okay. And then when I end up falling in love with the process of making a movie and, and then, you know, going to his film school, so to speak, uh, I started writing and he, he helped me. You know, my first two scripts was terrible and, uh, my third one was Friday.

• 44:00Conan O'Brien?

  That's crazy. And then there's just so many moments from that lines that are just part of the culture.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's great.

• 44:07Conan O'Brien?

  Which is, I mean, you think about all the different ways, without getting a swelled head, that you've been part of kind of like the history of the culture. It's pretty amazing.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  I mean, not being a comedian and having a comedy that's, you know, considered a classic and, you know, you know, making, you know, my favorite comedians laugh, what is like the biggest kick I get out of all of this, you know? Having, you know, a person like Eddie Murphy or, you know, Dave Chappelle or somebody be like, yeah, love that Friday movie, you know, this is funny. And I'm like, damn. As much as y'all made me laugh and I get to make you laugh a little bit, you know, it's, it's very cool as a fan of comedy and comedians.

• 44:51Conan O'Brien?

  I was thinking about that today, like, yeah, the, the whole movie aspect of your career wasn't really the plan and it's been massive. It's been huge.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  I fell in love with the process of just creating on that. I'm like, man, there's no bigger canvas for artists than a, than a movie screen and a movie, you know, two hours of, you know, whatever story you need to tell. And I'm like, this the place I wanna be. Cuz, like you said, the music, the artist skits. We did love, you know, trying to make it sound real, you know, just using audio. You know, we had, they had these little sound effects CDs that, you know, you could buy 250 of them and it's the same scream that you hear. It's the same car horns, it's the same city sounds, you know?

• 45:41Speaker 03

  And you were trying to use them and blend them and EQ them to where, you know, the environment that we're in, we're trying to bring it sonically. So to be able to do that, like visually, sonically, effects, you know, the whole shebang on a, on a screen. I'm like, man, I'm there.

• 46:03Conan O'Brien?

  I go to Outside Line with my daughter and I see Dochi perform and she's killing it, but halfway through, they cut, they cut to this screen and it's a sketch. And it's like a takeoff on like a sitcom, but it's insane. And it ends with one of the characters being thrown out the door and it's a dummy. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And then she goes back to being this insanely amazing rapper, dancer. And I thought, this is, it's everything. It's great dancing, great, uh, incredible, intricate rap. And then one of the funniest sketches, hands down, I've seen anyone do, anywhere.

• 46:49Conan O'Brien?

  And then she's back into it again and it's just, yeah, it's, it's, it's all of it. It's the humor, it's the darkness, it's everything.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I think, uh, and, and the honesty.

• 47:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  And I think that's important too. When people know you're coming from a real place, they wanna see how you package it and present it. You know, they don't want, they don't want you to always stay in the lines. They want you to go outside the lines a little bit.

• 47:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Don't be so safe.

• 47:17Conan O'Brien?

  You've got all these different passions. You've always been passionate about basketball, huge fan. And then a bunch of years ago, you started this three on three.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:28Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, idea, which is, um, uh, starts out small, just like, like anything else. You started out, but you've been working on it since like 2017.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:39Conan O'Brien?

  I think.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:40Conan O'Brien?

  And now you've got this thing, Big Three. It's a three on three basketball league.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:46Conan O'Brien?

  It's streaming. Where's it streaming? Is it Paramount?

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Right now, we're on CBS, Paramount Plus. Um, I think it's on, um, uh, Fubo.

• 47:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And explain how, what, it's three on three and who's participating?

• 48:00Speaker 03

  We just professionalize three on three, you know, um. Seen five on five everywhere and we're like, man, I had more fun playing three on three growing up.

• 48:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Why is it in the parking lot like Mountain Dew and Nike used to do these weekend warrior tournaments?

• 48:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Three on three and we're like, where's the pros? And like, it's a void in the market. Because after the finals end with the NBA, if you're not into those summer sports, you're waiting for the NFL. So there's three months of you want to kill yourself, you know?

• 48:40Conan O'Brien?

  I wouldn't go that far. No, it's true.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 48:43Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what to do in those three months.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  You know, after forty years of that, I just, I couldn't take no more.

• 48:50Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. So this is, this is, this is, I mean, this is way fans can be watching and who's, who's playing three on three?

• 48:59Speaker 03

  It's, it's some, there's some players that used to play in the NBA, former NBA players. Some of these players play in other countries all around the world and it's just the best of the best at this format. You know, a lot of guys that's in the NBA wouldn't be great at this format because some of those guys are specialists.

• 49:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Three point guy or, you know, defensive guy or whatever. Uh, you have to be an all around player for three on three. Like pass dribble, shoot defend at a high level or you're gonna get exposed.

• 49:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  So we're kind of developing our own athletes that can play basketball on this level. And, um, if you look at what we're doing compared to the Olympics, it's night and day. The Olympics is, feels very amateurish.

• 49:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Well, it is amateur sports, but, but ours, you know, feel, you know, more like the NBA, more like a pro experience.

• 49:52Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, you guys have a four point shot?

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Four point.

• 49:55Conan O'Brien?

  How do you get a four point?

• 49:56Speaker 03

  Three, we got three four point circles. So, you know, one of them's in the middle and two on the side. And if you just have a fingernail touching one of the circles, it counts. So. But if you shoot that far and not touch the circle, it, it's just a three pointer. So.

• 50:14Conan O'Brien?

  How do you get the four pointer?

• 50:15Speaker 03

  You gotta be standing on the four point.

• 50:16Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, you can get a four point. Okay. So.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  You gotta shoot from those areas.

• 50:20Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Um, yeah, I always think of ways to improve a sport and I used to think the NBA should have something where if you can somehow put a special hat on while you're playing and sink a shot, it should be like a five point shot.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  I don't know about that.

• 50:36Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, come on.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. I'm with you. I'm with you, Cube. Yeah, that's, that's a bad idea.

• 50:41Conan O'Brien?

  Hear me out. I've got lots of ideas for different sports. We actually don't want to hear you out on the.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  No, we're good. I think we heard enough.

• 50:46Conan O'Brien?

  If you could, it's, it's a hat that if you can access it. We got that part. And it's like a fun hat. It's an interesting hat.

• 50:52Speaker 01

  Is there a hat guy?

• 50:54Conan O'Brien?

  There's a, there's a area of the court where they have a hat on a little table. If you can get that hat on and get the shot off and it's in a certain area, then it's a five point shot. I also think in baseball, you should be able to choose which way you run. I like this. When you hit the, when you hit the ball, you can run to first or you can run to third. Once you pick a direction, you have to stick in that direction. You have players crossing each other on the baseline. This is a better version of baseball. If we could add a hat to that. No, no, no, no.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  The hat sucks.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  I think I saw that on Banana Ball.

• 51:32Conan O'Brien?

  Do you play?

• 51:34Speaker 03

  Definitely not.

• 51:35Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, but I mean, for fun.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  We're serious.

• 51:36Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no. I know, I know. I know that you don't play in the league, but do you play a lot?

• 51:41Speaker 03

  No, I retired and I went to the podium. You didn't see the, you didn't see me at the podium?

• 51:45Conan O'Brien?

  I did, I did. I saw that they lowered a banner.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, all that. So I'm done.

• 51:49Conan O'Brien?

  Do you, do you shoot around then?

• 51:51Speaker 03

  I shoot around a little bit, you know? But I kept seeing some of my friends who are amateurs for sure, getting pro injuries. You know, they were like popping Achilles and, you know, tearing knees and I'm like, who needs this? Like, why would Ice Cube be on crutches? And if he was like, what happened, Cube?

• 52:12Conan O'Brien?

  Do you talk about yourself? Do you talk about yourself? Do you often talk about yourself in the third person as Ice Cube?

• 52:18Speaker 03

  It slips out sometimes too.

• 52:21Conan O'Brien?

  Ice Cube wants pudding.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:23Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'll get you pudding.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  It does slip out and I, I kind of catch myself like.

• 52:30Conan O'Brien?

  I remember when we shot the second remote, we go downtown and then I think it was your guys' idea that we should get weed. We stop off a dispensary.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  That was your idea, man. Come on.

• 52:41Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, please. I would never. He wanted to add a hat into it. Yeah, yeah. I wanted to go hat shopping. You and Kevin Hart fucked up that idea. But we, uh, we go, we get all this, we buy so much and we stop the car with it and then the remote's over. We end up in a parking lot somewhere. I'm thanking you guys, you know, SUVs pull up. You know, Kevin Hart gets in his SUV. People are gonna leave. I'm talking to my crew. I'm like, oh my God, that's great. People are gonna love that. It's gonna be really good. And then I wander back and someone said, hey, where's the weed? It's all gone. And they said Cube took it. I'm like, this man, you do.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  You know, they would blame it on the rapper.

• 53:27Conan O'Brien?

  You do pretty well.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:30Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, so you're denying you took it. You're denying you took it.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  I'm denying I took it. Kev Hart, did he leave first?

• 53:35Conan O'Brien?

  He left first.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  Thank you. He left in a hurry. He left in a hurry.

• 53:41Conan O'Brien?

  True. Okay. I think he said you took it. I don't know, but that would be like him to say, oh, Cube took it.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  You weren't gonna take it.

• 53:47Conan O'Brien?

  No. No.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. So, you know, it's good that it went somewhere.

• 53:51Conan O'Brien?

  If they had been commemorative presidential coins.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  But you're gonna sell it.

• 53:56Conan O'Brien?

  Who took the Martin Van Buren coins? Don't look at me.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  Did you say he was gonna sell it?

• 54:01Speaker 03

  I was asking, was you gonna sell it if you? Why are you looking for the weed?

• 54:06Speaker 01

  I would love to see you try to sell it.

• 54:07Conan O'Brien?

  Sell weed while you're turning tricks on Santa Monica Boulevard.

• 54:13Conan O'Brien?

  Buy my weed. If not, I'll blow you.

• 54:18Conan O'Brien?

  You're gonna blow people to buy your weed. That's the incentive to get the weed.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Business proposal.

• 54:24Conan O'Brien?

  I'm throwing in the blowjob.

• 54:27Conan O'Brien?

  That's just, this is a good businessman. You have to have a multi-pronged model. It's your loss leader to get people in the door.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  You don't buy my weed, I'll blow you. That's terrible.

• 54:42Conan O'Brien?

  Come on. Why don't you want this weed? I said I'd blow you. What the fuck happened here, Cube?

• 54:49Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 54:49Conan O'Brien?

  When we get together, it's, it's good, but it's also full. This is, now I'm gonna blame you.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  I know.

• 54:55Conan O'Brien?

  You took the weed and you got me into this blowjob thing.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  No, you derailed it at hats.

• 54:59Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Let's just, okay. Well, Sona, before we go, you talk all this shit about Cube all the time. Now he's here. So why don't you talk to him?

• 55:09Speaker 01

  No, there's, there's.

• 55:10Conan O'Brien?

  Why don't you tell him?

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Hold on. No, I'm not. There's three LA natives in this, of me and Eduardo and, and Matt and the three of us. I mean, you, what you've done for LA is huge. And you know what? My cousin from Australia came on his honeymoon and I said, where do you want to go? Anywhere in LA? And he says, I want to go to Compton. And, and so we, we drove around Compton.

• 55:30Conan O'Brien?

  Really?

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, we really did.

• 55:31Conan O'Brien?

  It's like Disneyland now.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you know, he's just like, cause that's like his, in his mind, that's LA culture is driving around Compton. So, yeah, I'm not gonna.

• 55:39Conan O'Brien?

  And you're just a, a prime, cause yeah, when, how, you would have been pretty young when Straight Outta Compton came out.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  I was, yeah. I mean, I was born in eighty-two, but.

• 55:48Conan O'Brien?

  I was in high school and I came out. It was huge. Yeah, huge. Well, I was fucking around. Where was I? In Boston? I don't know. It doesn't matter where I was.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  You were not listening to Straight Outta Compton.

• 55:59Conan O'Brien?

  No, I was listening to, yeah.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  You were listening to some nineteen twenties record that's like.

• 56:04Conan O'Brien?

  Button up your overcoat. When the wind blows free, I'd have a little, put on the records. Seventy-eight. Has the big horn, take horn, cattle, you'll shout, you'll belong to me, hody, hody, hody. I can't wait to meet Cube. And talk about my Rudy Valley record collection. Straight out of Brookline. Yeah, straight out of Brookline. It was pretty tough. Someone stole my fifth Eyes Odd shirt.

• 56:29Conan O'Brien?

  Cube, every time I hang with you, it's one of the, it's just a great day. It really is a great day. You're, uh, just a phenomenal force. I'm so happy for you. I want to check out this big three. So I'm gonna start watching it because I do, I really got into the finals, the NBA finals. And yeah, now we've, you know, okay, I could watch World Cup, but oh, wow. One zip. Another exciting game.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Lot of running.

• 56:56Conan O'Brien?

  Lot of running.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  Lot of running.

• 56:58Conan O'Brien?

  Another play broken up. That's ninety-eight plays in a row broken up. Fun's fun. Take it easy. Buy a hat. But. Now they put a hat on.

• 57:12Conan O'Brien?

  But Cube, yeah, so I'm gonna check that out. It's, uh, it's, it's, uh, big three and, um, excited to see it. And just come on by anytime. Cause we love having you here.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  I'm glad to be here, man. You know, anytime, man. Just.

• 57:26Conan O'Brien?

  You still throwing up in your mouth a little bit, talking to me?

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Little bit, but I'm good. You know what I mean? I just need a coke before I leave.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  Taste buzzes, you know?

• 57:37Conan O'Brien?

  All right, all right. All right, man.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  All right.

• 57:47Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, LL Bean is celebrating the moments people look forward to all year. The first school drop-off, the first sweater weather day, and the first chilly evening around the fire pit. For over 100 years, LL Bean has been part of these traditions. Crunching leaves in Maine-made Bean Boots, cheering from the sidelines in Scotch plaid flannel, and walking the dog in a rugged field coat. So grab the layers and people you love and get outside, because that's what makes fall feel like home. Visit llbean.com to shop the fall collection. LL Bean, be an outsider.

• 58:26Conan O'Brien?

  With the US Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal.

• 58:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:34Conan O'Brien?

  No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 58:46Conan O'Brien?

  And I didn't get cash back, and I regret it now.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

• 58:52Conan O'Brien?

  Do you wear a wig, or is that your hair?

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

• 58:59Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:02Conan O'Brien?

  Visit usbank.com/smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association. Pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply.

• 59:16Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, what are some of the things in life that really get you down?

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Uh, driving?

• 59:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  That's the first thing that popped in my head.

• 59:22Conan O'Brien?

  No, but I've seen you drive, and it's true. I'm always picking mailboxes out of your grill.

• 59:28Conan O'Brien?

  You're a creative driver. Uh, look, let's face it. Just living on Earth can be a lot, right?

• 59:33Speaker 01

  It can.

• 59:33Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, oy vey, it's a lot.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:36Conan O'Brien?

  There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, there's this... You know that they say the sun is going to, at some point, go supernova and incinerate the Earth, probably in 5 billion years?

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:45Conan O'Brien?

  But watch your diet, we might be sticking around for that.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 59:48Conan O'Brien?

  So cosmically speaking, you've earned a break.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:50Conan O'Brien?

  And you know where this is going? I think you do.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 59:52Conan O'Brien?

  Pluto TV.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Oh, right, of course.

• 59:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, to escape all of these hassles in life, you gotta get Pluto TV. Turn off all your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. You've seen them, but you want to see them again. They're old friends.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:05Conan O'Brien?

  Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Dirty Dancing, Alias, X-Files. Pluto TV is completely free.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:00:12Conan O'Brien?

  These streamers, all these things cost so much money these days. And I won't mention that when I do an ad for them, but... No subscription, no fees, $0. And as any mathematician will tell you, 0 is one of the most profound numbers ever conceived. I was thinking about that this morning.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  Wow, that's profound.

• 1:00:28Conan O'Brien?

  I really wasn't. The best thing on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 1:00:40Conan O'Brien?

  If you're listening, I'm sure there is a way for you to access video.

• 1:00:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, if you want to check out what's happening.

• 1:00:44Speaker 05

  Team Coco YouTube?

• 1:00:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. But you also can just take my word for it. Yes, everything you're describing is correct. It looks like I just stepped out of the shower.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:53Conan O'Brien?

  Let me explain what happened. Uh, very recently, I don't know when this drops, but, uh, a little over a week ago, my wife and I attended the, uh, grand opening of the, uh, Obama, uh, presidential library.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  Seems like you're bragging. Okay.

• 1:01:11Conan O'Brien?

  It's not a humble brag. Or it's not a brag, it's just a brag brag. No, it's not a brag. I'm giving you this story of what happened.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Conan O'Brien?

  I was in attendance, as were many people. Uh, much greater, uh, higher, more important people than me were there. Uh, but we were very thrilled to be invited along. What I hadn't realized is that, um, our seats were outside. I hadn't really thought about it. And at the last second, as my wife and I were in our hotel room in Chicago, we're headed out the door. I think, oh, we're gonna be outside, so I splashed some sunblock on my face, okay? We go to the event, we're sitting outside, and I'll just say, in our row, at the end of our row, I see, oh, there's Stephen Colbert. Hi, Stephen, you know, good to see you. And there's David Letterman. Oh, wow, I love these guys. These are great. We're all sitting in this row together. And, uh, the sun, the clouds break, the sun comes out.

• 1:02:04Conan O'Brien?

  It's a wonderful event. Amazing speeches, um, incredible performances.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Now you are bragging. It has nothing to do with your hair, that's all I'm saying.

• 1:02:13Conan O'Brien?

  I'm not bragging.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Are you creating the atmosphere?

• 1:02:15Speaker 05

  The amount of names dropped on this floor.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:02:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, you're not understanding. All I'm saying is, the Obamas threw an amazing bash.

• 1:02:24Speaker 05

  There's another.

• 1:02:25Conan O'Brien?

  No, but, well, wait, that is... All I'm saying is that the former president, first say...

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. No, we get it, we get it, we get it. Oprah was there.

• 1:02:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  Have you talked to Oprah?

• 1:02:36Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, no. Uh, she... Oprah was very good at keeping me back. Let's just put it that way. As were most of the people there. Most people there had security, whose only job was to keep Conan away.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Had you in a Conan section.

• 1:02:48Conan O'Brien?

  I noticed that other people could just wander up to them. Strangers could wander up to them. Um, yeah, and, but, they're very good. Uh, they're called Conan bashers. You can hire a Conan basher.

• 1:02:57Speaker 05

  I didn't know that was an option.

• 1:02:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and, um, you can get one. Uh, anyway, it's three hours plus. And when it's over, I'm so glad that I put the sunblock on, and I'm feeling really good about myself, like, smart move. I walk over and I see Stephen Colbert, David Letterman. They look like they've been playing in a sandbox with plutonium.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:17Conan O'Brien?

  Their faces are just bright, bright red.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Mmm.

• 1:03:21Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm like, well, those suckers don't know to put sunblock on. A day or two later, after the event, I feel like my skull is on fire. And then, uh, two days after that, my skull is really itchy, and whenever I... my scalp, and whenever I itch it, it looks like a snow globe.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:39Conan O'Brien?

  It looks like confetti. White, white, freckled confetti is pouring off of my head. It's disgusting. I'm like, what is going on? I'm going crazy. And I talked to someone, and they said, yeah, you got a sunburn on your scalp, which I'm not used to, because I've got so much hair, but it... This sun just went, blasted right through my hair, and it roasted my scalp. And someone said, to treat this, you've got to rub oil into it. So this morning, I rubbed oil into it, not thinking about the podcast, or they were on camera. And then I come in, and I look like I'm in Shana Na.

• 1:04:17Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, I... I'm a grease ball. I'm just this... I'm so greasy.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Frankie Valli.

• 1:04:24Conan O'Brien?

  I'm Frankie Valli, yeah. And so I've got this comb now.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  And you have this comb.

• 1:04:28Conan O'Brien?

  I've got this comb, and I've got this... All this grease in my hair, which is weighing my hair down. My hair can't do its normal thing.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm just like... But I... I look...

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Like you're in grease.

• 1:04:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I look like I want to fight one of you in the parking lot by swinging a chain at you in 1952, or a little switchblade.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:48Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo, I'm gonna come at you with a switchblade.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:50Conan O'Brien?

  But that's how I feel.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  But do you feel different with your hair like this?

• 1:04:54Conan O'Brien?

  I really do. I really feel different. I want to, um, I just want to fight people on the street. I want to get a hot rod and drive it around. I want to get Rizzo pregnant, so that Rizzo has a bun in the oven. You know what I mean?

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  You think you're Kinnicky?

• 1:05:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Okay, you're not Kinnicky.

• 1:05:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I might be Kinnicky.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  You're like, uh, one of the two extra ones.

• 1:05:17Conan O'Brien?

  I'm one of the other... I'm one of the Thunderbirds that is easily 55 years old. That's my favorite thing, is when you look at still... When you look at still photographs of the Thunderbirds.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:05:30Conan O'Brien?

  And it's like, okay, well, there's John Travolta.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  There's Danny Zuko, and there's Kinnicky.

• 1:05:35Conan O'Brien?

  And there's... Yeah. And then you look at the other guys, and there's two of them that easily look like they fought in a war 30 years ago. No, not him, that's Eddie Dezen. No, not him, you're not him. Find him.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  He's not Eugene.

• 1:05:47Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, you gotta find, not Eugene. Eugene is, by the way, Eddie Dezen. That's Eddie Dezen, king of the nerds.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Come on, did you... Did you know that?

• 1:05:55Conan O'Brien?

  His name is Eddie Dezen, and he's king of the nerds.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  Okay. That's Kinnicky. You think you're Kinnicky.

• 1:05:59Conan O'Brien?

  I'm having a hard time here.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  You're not... We need all the T-birds, yeah.

• 1:06:04Conan O'Brien?

  Just go Google T-birds.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he thinks he's that guy.

• 1:06:07Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I... Yes, and I think I am.

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  Conan.

• 1:06:09Conan O'Brien?

  I want to put a cigarette behind my ear, and you know what? As a joke recently, David got me bubblegum cigarettes, so I'm gonna put a bubblegum cigarette behind my ear.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 1:06:17Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Look at the guy who's... He's in high school?

• 1:06:23Conan O'Brien?

  He's in high school?

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Conan O'Brien?

  No, he's not in high school. He was... He's a pipe fitter who fought in the Korean War.

• 1:06:33Conan O'Brien?

  That guy's... I think he's... He's 48 years old. He just had a stent put in. It's unbelievable.

• 1:06:43Conan O'Brien?

  You think you can play high school? Sure, I can play high school. Hey, what's wrong with your knee? I had it replaced.

• 1:06:49Speaker 05

  We just photoshopped Conan's face into that photo?

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Oh, I know, we should.

• 1:06:52Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a greaseball now, and I'm just gonna keep rubbing oil into my head until this, uh, my skull heals.

• 1:06:58Speaker 05

  What kind of oil is it?

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 1:07:01Conan O'Brien?

  I just grabbed, they said, this person just said oil, so I got some WD-40.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. I don't, I kinda like this look on you.

• 1:07:08Conan O'Brien?

  Do you really?

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  I do. I think this makes you look very refined.

• 1:07:12Conan O'Brien?

  Refined? Well, that would be if I combed it straight back.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Conan O'Brien?

  It's sort of Michael Caine in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Yes, it's like, it's like Al Pacino in The Godfather.

• 1:07:22Conan O'Brien?

  We don't have a mirror here because we suck.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:07:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, we do. Come on, we've been doing this a long time, and there's no mirror, I never get any makeup. We're not a real...

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I do my own makeup. Maybe you can do your own makeup.

• 1:07:33Conan O'Brien?

  So you like this?

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  I don't hate it.

• 1:07:36Speaker 05

  I don't.

• 1:07:36Conan O'Brien?

  You don't like it, right?

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  It's very different, but it is like, it is like Conan 2.0.

• 1:07:42Conan O'Brien?

  This is undiluted fat Irish face. This is just big block of Irish face.

• 1:07:48Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 1:07:48Conan O'Brien?

  I think the hair can at least obscure and soften.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  It's very Wall Street, which I think is like against kind of who you are.

• 1:07:56Conan O'Brien?

  No, it, no, I think greed is good.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:07:59Conan O'Brien?

  I am Gordon Gekko.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:08:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, it's Gordon Gekko.

• 1:08:03Speaker 01

  No, in a world of Gordon Gekkos, be Martin Sheen.

• 1:08:07Conan O'Brien?

  Now I'm just a Gekko, I don't know. Now I'm just acting like a Gekko.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  That's why you can never be like Gordon Gekko. No, that's why you can never be like him. That's why this hair won't suit you, is because you do that stuff.

• 1:08:19Speaker 05

  We gotta fix the burn.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  I know, when's your hair gonna stop?

• 1:08:23Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  It actually might have already.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  Isn't there like a powder sunscreen we can get for your scalp? I'm gonna order some for you.

• 1:08:30Conan O'Brien?

  No, you know what it's called? Wear a hat! You know who was wearing a hat? Hillary Clinton was up there wearing a hat. And it wasn't just any hat, it was, I mean, it looked like a giant sail on a sailboat. It was a huge hat.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  She's smart.

• 1:08:43Conan O'Brien?

  Smart.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's smart.

• 1:08:44Conan O'Brien?

  She's laughing at me right now.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, she is. And she's fine. She has no itchy scalp. She really doesn't. But I also, I, it's been long enough, I really don't think that you have to deal with it anymore. Does your scalp even still itch? Like, when I get sunburned and I do it, my skin starts to...

• 1:09:02Conan O'Brien?

  This is my question.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  It's like a day.

• 1:09:04Conan O'Brien?

  No, this is, I know, that's what I'm curious about. It's been over a week.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:09:09Conan O'Brien?

  So something's, this could be a worse problem.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  Oh, come on, don't do that. Don't get into that hypochondriac thing you do.

• 1:09:15Conan O'Brien?

  I'm turning into Gordon Gekko. Or if it's plural, Gordon Gekkai. Why did I force that?

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:09:24Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, I'm sure I'm fine. I just gotta oil up this melon.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  This is like Irish mafia.

• 1:09:30Conan O'Brien?

  I gotta run, I gotta oil up this melon.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I just said Irish mafia, and you said oil up this melon.

• 1:09:36Conan O'Brien?

  Gotta oil up this melon.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  That's not very Irish mafia.

• 1:09:39Conan O'Brien?

  And then I gotta go see Danny Zuko. Because we're about to graduate high school. And then he's gonna drive me in for my lung transplant.

• 1:09:50Conan O'Brien?

  All right, pray for me. Pray for me.

• 1:09:55Speaker 06

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:10:15Speaker 06

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:11:03Speaker 07

  Most ice cream is good, but not Jenny's. Jenny's ice cream is more like an obsession. What you get from over two decades of tasting and tweaking and throwing it out and starting over, chasing flavors until they feel alive. That might sound crazy, and that's because it is. Jenny's. Often imitated, never duplicated, always splendid. Hey, Richmond, Mark Smith, Midas Richmond, 2026. We have been doing what we do for 29 years. Total car care, total community care. In 2026, we are donating $365,000. A thousand dollars a day for the nonprofits we've historically supported. Gooch and Cares, Shalom Farms, St. Joseph's Villa, Ask, the Colonial Heights Food Pantry,

• 1:11:48Speaker 07

  everybody we've helped over the years. These are important things making a big impact in our society right now. Total car care, total community care, that is Midas of Richmond.