MFM Minisode 410

This week’s hometowns include picking up a hitchhiker and ordering the “Garbage Plate” in Rochester, New York.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

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• 0:36Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know it's the holidays when somebody in the family starts cooking before the sun comes up. The babusas are grilling in the pan, everybody's sneaking bites, and somehow, there's always room for one more person at the table. And nothing goes better with that first holiday plate than a delicious Coca-Cola. That crisp, refreshing taste makes everything that much better. Because the best holiday traditions aren't just about what we're eating. They're about who we're sharing those moments with. So check that shopping list twice. Stock up on Coca-Cola for all your family fiestas y disfruta Coca-Cola.

• 1:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello. And welcome. To My Favorite Murder. The minisode. We read you your stories. You love it so much. You love it and we appreciate it. Oh. What? That seemed insincere.

• 1:46Karen Kilgariff?

  I meant it. I love it and we appreciate it.

• 1:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Truly, if I add truly to the name.

• 1:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Truly, for real. Do you want to go first?

• 1:55Georgia Hardstark?

  I have a great one to go first with because this might end up a classic hometown. It's about picking up a hitchhiker. I'm not going to read you the subject line.

• 2:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 2:05Georgia Hardstark?

  "You asked for hitchhiking stories and boy, do I have one. Here we go." And how have you not written this one in before? It's like, fuck, it makes you wonder how many people haven't written in their insane hometowns.

• 2:16Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, you know, there's a million incredible stories out there just waiting to be sent to [email protected].

• 2:24Georgia Hardstark?

  We appreciate it. "I commuted from Forks, Washington to Port Angeles, Washington to attend community college classes for years. My naive 16-year-old self did not have any sense of self-preservation." You usually don't at that age. "One cold and wet Pacific Northwest winter day, I saw a man roughly my age walking at the junction that branches off towards the road that leads to Nia Bay." N-E-A-H?

• 2:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Sounds good. I mean.

• 2:51Georgia Hardstark?

  "I thought to myself, oh, poor guy. It's so miserable out there. I'll see where he's going and if he wants a ride."

• 2:57Karen Kilgariff?

  No, dude. He wasn't even fucking hitchhiking. He was just walking.

• 3:01Georgia Hardstark?

  "Why do I do this? I don't know. I was very young, reckless, and apparently foolish." "The man did indeed say he'd appreciate a ride to Port Angeles as he had missed the bus. I introduced myself, and so did he. He said his name was Israel."

• 3:17Georgia Hardstark?

  "We talked. I am very chatty. I found out we had a lot of mutual acquaintances, and he worked with my then-boyfriend, now-husband's friend. We arrived in Port Angeles. I dropped him off, and as he's leaving, he says to me, 'You really shouldn't pick up hitchhikers. If I wanted to, I could have hurt you. But since I know you, I wanted to warn you. You should never do this again.'" "I laughed. His eyes turned black, and a cold chill went down me. I linked eyes with him and said, 'Okay, I won't.'" Years later, when the news broke about Israel Keyes, my husband said, hey, you know that guy that worked with my friend in Nia Bay that you said you picked up hitchhiking years ago?

• 4:00Georgia Hardstark?

  He was arrested for murder. So it was corroborated. It wasn't like, I saw him on TV. And I was like, that's definitely that guy. It was fucking definitely him.

• 4:08Karen Kilgariff?

  It was him. Oh, my God.

• 4:10Georgia Hardstark?

  She says, my stomach dropped. I heeded the advice and never picked up another hitchhiker in my life. It wasn't hitchhiking. It terrifies me to know how close I could have been to a very bad situation.

• 4:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you weren't close. You were in a very bad situation. He chose not to do anything in it.

• 4:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. By the grace of fucking dog. Thank you for educating us naive people to the dangers of the world so we can SSDGM. Your podcast has seen me through some rough times and I appreciate your candor and comedy. Keep fighting the good fight. L.

• 4:44Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean,

• 4:45Georgia Hardstark?

  L.

• 4:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Epic. Sorry, we're being mean to you, but goddamn, that's scary.

• 4:50Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean, you're 16. You just make the worst decisions and you just, by the fucking, some dumb luck, you survive it.

• 4:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Also, you just going, he wasn't even hitchhiking. It's like, it's like you are going out of your way.

• 5:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, to not SSDGM.

• 5:07Karen Kilgariff?

  And also that guy, like, if you haven't listened to the podcast True Crime Bullshit and you are interested in Israel Keyes and kind of the story, that guy has been doing that podcast for a while and it is the deepest dive of all time. Fascinating. Okay, here's mine. It says, made up parent story. Hey, Karen in Georgia and everyone on the MFM team. You recently asked for stories about stuff our parents told us or did to us as kids. I think I have a banger story for you. I was 10 or 11 and it was the late 90s in Australia. My family went for our annual trip before Christmas from Sydney to the sunny Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia, and stayed at an upmarket golf resort. My brother and I are

• 5:51Karen Kilgariff?

  born on the same day, three years apart.

• 5:54Georgia Hardstark?

  That sucks.

• 5:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 5:55Georgia Hardstark?

  No one wants to share their fucking.

• 5:56Karen Kilgariff?

  That's an insane coincidence.

• 5:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Saying coincidence, it's worse than a Christmas birthday. Like, what the fuck?

• 6:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. Yeah, that really sucks. You're just always sharing.

• 6:07Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't know if there's a phrase to refer to this kind of scenario, and then a question mark, and then it says, "Not quite twins." Anyway, he was either 13 or 14 at the time. At this stage in our lives, we fought a lot. And then it says, "We're very close now." "One morning, Dad was playing a round of golf, and Mum was left with us in the room whilst getting ready for the day. She was putting on her makeup, and my brother and I were wrestling in the empty bathtub and yelling at each other. Eventually, Mum had had enough, so left us in the room to go and get coffee and go for a morning walk. Ten minutes passed, and a phone call comes to the room phone, leaving my brother and I to fight over who answered the phone first. I was the unlucky and unwitting victim

• 6:50Karen Kilgariff?

  who picked up the receiver and heard, 'Hello, we've had a complaint about excessive noise coming from your room.' I think this was one of the first times in my life where I felt my heart fall out of my arse. I apologized quickly. My brother was asking questions and flustered. I hung up the phone. We both began freaking out, thinking our holiday was ruined and that Dad and Mum would be so pissed at us for the noise complaint. Finally, Dad showed up after golf and was upset with us because he said, 'I've never been kicked out of a hotel before. You two are diabolical.' I was in tears, my brother was very subdued, and there was general unease in the room. Cut to Mum coming back from her walk and shopping, of course. A few hours later, brother and I beside ourselves,

• 7:35Karen Kilgariff?

  and Mum walks in and says, 'Did you enjoy the noise complaint?' Oh. 'The original trolls, how dare they?' Long story short, Mum came, Mum caught up with Dad on her walk, and they came up with a plan to make us shut the fuck up for five minutes. It was a great success, and I will never forget the terror that rose in my body that day. A bonus story is that Dad used to make up facts and tell them to me. Don't do that. We do that all the time on this show.

• 8:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, wait, yeah, that's true.

• 8:07Karen Kilgariff?

  He once convinced me that chip-a-lotta sausages, which are, I guess, what they call the mini sausages over there, were made out of chips. I told everyone in school and they were so confused. Anyway, I write this after a very long day of giving chemotherapy to patients battling cancer. Love, Edwina, the nurse from Sydney.

• 8:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 8:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Edwina, you have the best name.

• 8:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, you do.

• 8:31Karen Kilgariff?

  You have the best name. That was a great story.

• 8:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Good one.

• 8:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Thanks for doing that hard work.

• 8:37Georgia Hardstark?

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 8:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 8:46Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 8:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break-in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone and SimpliSafe is going to show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there, they already know. And if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 9:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind, that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year. 70% off your new system with professional monitoring when you visit simplisafe.com/mfm.

• 9:33Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplisafe.com/mfm. And when you order, write in "MFM" at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 9:40Georgia Hardstark?

  SimpliSafe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 9:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Nothing makes you take a good, hard look at your furniture like inviting people over for the holidays.

• 9:49Georgia Hardstark?

  So give your home a little holiday upgrade with Article.

• 9:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price.

• 9:57Georgia Hardstark?

  They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time. There's no filler, every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.

• 10:06Karen Kilgariff?

  And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new Furniture, you can easily return it.

• 10:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Plus, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week. I know we're getting into fall and winter, but we live in Los Angeles, so my outdoor furniture is just like the perfect focal point for the pool parties we still end up having. Sorry, everyone, when it's like sunny and gorgeous year round. I sit on my Article patio furniture every morning and have my coffee and watch Cookie lay in the sun. And the whole thing is just so peaceful and pretty. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 10:44Karen Kilgariff?

  To claim, visit article.com/murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

• 10:50Georgia Hardstark?

  That's article.com/murder for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 10:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Cozy season is nearly upon us.

• 10:58Georgia Hardstark?

  That means crisp weather and soft layers.

• 11:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Prepare accordingly with fall staples from Bombas.

• 11:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Bombas has your favorite footwear for fall, including new suede moccasins with cushy soles, shearling lining and water-resistant suede, plus soft slippers, slides and booties.

• 11:13Karen Kilgariff?

  There's a Bombas sock for pretty much any fall occasion, from warm merino wool blends to sweat-wicking sport socks and dressier options for weddings.

• 11:22Georgia Hardstark?

  And for every Bombas item purchased, they donated an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity, with more than 200 million items donated so far. Okay, so when fall comes around, I have a pair of the Bombas booties pretty much in every room so I can grab them when my feet inevitably become freezing, which they are constantly. And they're so comfy, you can wear them around the house. I wear them to bed and they just make everything feel a little cozier.

• 11:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to bombas.com/mfm and use code MFM for 20% off your first purchase.

• 11:53Georgia Hardstark?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash MFM. Code MFM at checkout.

• 11:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 12:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Here's grandpa's Hell's Angels mishap.

• 12:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 12:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello and welcome to a memory that was so deep in my brain, I forgot it was there. I'm currently listening to episode 450 and Karen was discussing how the Hells Angels were hired to be security at the Altamont Free Concert. Being a native Southern Californian, I'm familiar with the Hells Angels. I truly don't know why, being born in 1997, but I remember hearing about them as a kid and knowing they were bad news. Yeah, it was like a total like urban legend, but true.

• 12:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, I mean, they were state famous.

• 12:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Fast forward, my dad was sharing stories about his late dad, my grandpa Gene. My grandpa lived in East County San Diego, where a lot of biker gangs are based and hang out. My grandpa had his license and drove for almost his entire life. In his early 70s, he was driving home in his old ass minivan and accidentally cuts off a motorcyclist. I put accidentally in quotes because if he drives anything like my dad, then he's a maniac. And then it says, I can say that because I also drive like my dad. And then there's like a smiley face emoji that's melting from the bottom.

• 13:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Mm-hmm. I like that one.

• 13:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. So he accidentally cuts him off on the freeway and as they're getting off the freeway, the motorcycle speeds ahead of him and shakes his head at him. They get to the same off-ramp and are stopped by a red light. The motorcyclist is now in front of my grandpa. The motorcyclist then proceeds to get off his bike and start walking towards my grandpa's car. My grandpa is now shitting his pants. What does he do? All caps. Floors it. The motorcyclist jumps out of the way and my grandpa runs over the motorcycle.

• 13:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Holy no.

• 13:43Georgia Hardstark?

  He just like turned into the bad guy.

• 13:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh my god.

• 13:47Georgia Hardstark?

  He then speeds home as fast as he can, runs inside to my grandma Irene and my dad and says, I almost just got murdered by a Hells Angel. He goes outside to the backyard, to the shed, grabs spray paint and begins to spray paint his van a different color. My dad and his mom are now inside the house laughing hysterically. Apparently, my grandpa was known to overreact and this was just another example of it. My dad then went outside to the newly gold painted minivan, it was hunter green before, and proceeded to tell my grandpa that he's overreacting and quote, Dad, he was probably just going to come back and tell you to be more careful. Also, I don't even think that any Hells Angels were in San Diego back then, and my grandpa just automatically associated any biker with the group.

• 14:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 14:32Georgia Hardstark?

  My grandpa passed away about 15 years ago, but he was exactly like my dad, who is goofy, a hard worker, cares about his loved ones, and just all around is pretty cool. Stay sexy and maybe brush up on your motorcycle gang patch knowledge? Autumn.

• 14:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Autumn, who paid for that motorcycle? Was that a hit and run?

• 14:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Mayhem. Grandpa was like, "Oh, I was scared." Like, "You weren't the thing to be scared of." He was scared of you.

• 14:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 14:58Georgia Hardstark?

  You drove at him. First, you cut him off, then you drove at him, then you ran over his fucking motorcycle. You're the problem here, dude.

• 15:05Karen Kilgariff?

  You are... That is totally insane. All right. Subject line of this is "Hot Dog Hometown."

• 15:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Cool.

• 15:14Karen Kilgariff?

  And then in parentheses, it says, "2 minute 15 second read." Yes, I timed it. Hello, MFM fam. I'm a longtime listener, multiple email author, and hopefully a first-time Minisode feature. My hometown is Rochester, New York. You know her. She's featured in episode 19, Miniso 202, and episode 386.

• 15:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow, I did your research.

• 15:36Karen Kilgariff?

  In addition to being the home of George Eastman and the Alphabet Killer, Rochester is the birthplace of the Garbage Plate. The Garbage Plate was originated by Alexander Tahou, I think, T-A-H-O-U. Tahou?

• 15:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Tahou, yeah.

• 15:51Karen Kilgariff?

  A Greek immigrant who founded the restaurant Nick Tahou's Hots in 1918. In its original form, the dish consisted of hots, either standard hot dogs or Rochester-style white hots, served with potatoes, cold beans, and Italian bread with butter. The dish evolved over time to become a modifiable dish of three elements. One, hot dogs or hamburgers. Two, macaroni salad or potato salad. And three, french fries or fried potatoes. All three elements are piled together on one plate. If you want to take the express track to a heart attack, you can top it off with chili, like, hot meat sauce. It is the greatest hangover food ever invented, and everyone should try it.

• 16:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god.

• 16:35Karen Kilgariff?

  This is purely just information about, you have to know this about Rochester.

• 16:40Georgia Hardstark?

  I've never heard of it, so I fucking appreciate it. Like, I feel like we're getting an education. A hot dog education.

• 16:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Please tell us, do you want to tell us about your hot dog from your hometown?

• 16:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Send us your hot dogs.

• 16:52Karen Kilgariff?

  There's just a little bit more. It says, "Thank you for the community you created, for the money you donated, for the voices you amplified. But the most important thing you both do is tell stories with the victims in mind. Now that true crime has become mainstream and famous killers get multiple shows or are mentioned as a dream dinner guest by out-of-touch celebrities, it is incredibly important that the victims are remembered. Of all of the true crime podcasts and shows out there, only few focus on the innocent victims, which you two have consistently done. Thanks for all the laughs, inside jokes, and my favorite face mask. S.S. DGM, Christina, she/her."

• 17:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god, I did not think an email about hot dogs was gonna tear me up a little bit.

• 17:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Did it getcha?

• 17:34Georgia Hardstark?

  It got me. Thank you for saying that.

• 17:37Karen Kilgariff?

  That was very, very sweet. And Christina, we appreciate your appreciation.

• 17:42Georgia Hardstark?

  We do. I'm like a little choked up.

• 17:45Karen Kilgariff?

  It means a lot.

• 17:46Georgia Hardstark?

  That estrogen is working.

• 17:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Let's get those tear ducts going.

• 17:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, that estrogen patch, baby. The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 17:58Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 18:03Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 18:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break-in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone, and SimpliSafe is gonna show you not only the video of like, "It's a raccoon at your front door," but also that they have staff that's sitting there they already know. And if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 18:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention, is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year, 70% off your new System with professional monitoring when you visit simplysafe.com/mfm.

• 18:50Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplysafe.com/mfm. And when you order, write in MFM at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 18:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Simply Safe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 19:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Cozy season is nearly upon us.

• 19:03Georgia Hardstark?

  That means crisp weather and soft layers.

• 19:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Prepare accordingly with fall staples from Bombas.

• 19:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Bombas has your favorite footwear for fall, including new suede moccasins with cushy soles, shearling lining and water-resistant suede, plus soft slippers, slides and booties.

• 19:19Karen Kilgariff?

  There's a Bombas sock for pretty much any fall occasion, from warm merino wool blends to sweat-wicking sport socks and dressier options for weddings.

• 19:27Georgia Hardstark?

  And for every Bombas item purchased, they donated an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity, with more than 200 million items donated so far. Okay, so when fall comes around, I have a pair of the Bombas booties pretty much in every room, so I can grab them when my feet inevitably become freezing, which they are constantly. And they're so comfy, you can wear them around the house, I wear them to bed, and they just make everything feel a little cozier.

• 19:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to bombas.com/mfm and use code MFM for 20% off your first purchase.

• 19:59Georgia Hardstark?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash MFM, code MFM at checkout.

• 20:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Some people know exactly what car they want before they start shopping.

• 20:10Georgia Hardstark?

  And for the rest of us, there's cars.com.

• 20:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Cars.com helps take some of the guesswork out of car shopping with expert reviews, guides, recommendations, and side-by-side comparisons to help narrow down your options.

• 20:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Once you know what you're looking for, you can search for the features that actually matter to you, like blind spot monitoring, smartphone integration, or automatic emergency braking.

• 20:31Karen Kilgariff?

  You can also shop based on your budget with financing tools that show real rates and monthly payments, so you can have a clearer idea of what you can afford.

• 20:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Their deal ratings tags let you see how the price compares with similar vehicles, so you can feel more confident about buying your car.

• 20:45Karen Kilgariff?

  From research to shopping to finding the right fit, cars.com gives you what you need to choose your next car confidently.

• 20:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Start your search at cars.com.

• 20:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 20:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, here is Chloe, I need your finger. That's my last one. Hey ladies, I know we're writing in about anything now, so I have a funny cautionary tale from Mardi Gras that I hope at least Alejandra, or whoever else is reading these, enjoys. My friends and I have a tradition that we meet in St. Louis every year for Mardi Gras. Yes, I know, ladies, St. Louis, not New Orleans, but a little info, St. Louis hosts the country's second-largest Mardi Gras celebration.

• 21:26Karen Kilgariff?

  I did not know that.

• 21:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Who the fuck knew that?

• 21:28Karen Kilgariff?

  That's cool.

• 21:29Georgia Hardstark?

  It also tends to be much safer and more family-friendly. I digress. One year, we were enjoying our day drinking when my friend Taylor and I became separated from the larger group. We decided to sit our butts on the parade route and wait for our friends to return. As we were waiting, a young woman literally falls on us. She's slurring, her eyes are unavailable, and she's definitely more than a little unsteady. Being friendly and also worried about her state, we began questioning her. We found out her name is Chloe, she's under 21, and she's lost, clearly. We try to get her phone open to contact her adult, or at the very least, her sober person, when our friends find us. This leads to at least 15 minutes of us repeatedly asking Chloe for her finger to open her iPhone and contact her people.

• 22:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Try getting a drunk person's fucking finger.

• 22:18Karen Kilgariff?

  For real, and for a second, I thought you were gonna say, "her finger to make her throw up so she would not be so drunk."

• 22:25Georgia Hardstark?

  I, in my also-drunkin' state, realize Chloe is much farther gone than us and might, in fact, have alcohol poisoning. Picture me, drunk, flagging down one group of the ever-present cops who also walk the parade route. We explain, "This is Chloe, she is lost, but more importantly, she needs medical services." Rather than get us these without question, we get lectured by the cops on letting our friend get so drunk. Despite having explained that we don't know her, then they tell us to just leave her.

• 22:54Karen Kilgariff?

  What?

• 22:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Ladies, when I tell you the group of us adult, professional women, looked at these all-male officers like they were the drunk ones, I'm not kidding. My friend Kelly, not her real name, is a prosecuting attorney for the state of Missouri, and she explained in no uncertain terms, "We would not be leaving this girl alone until, one, a female officer showed up, or, two, her friends arrived to claim her." She fell on us, rather than any of the thousands of other revelers, so we were responsible. Despite simultaneously being yelled at by the officers to leave her and that we were bad friends for letting her drink so much, we held our ground until both a female EMT and her friend showed up to claim her. I am grateful for Chloe falling on us because

• 23:38Georgia Hardstark?

  that could have gone so much worse for her. To this day, we still yell, "Chloe, I need your finger!" when opening someone else's iPhone. Make smart choices, guys. Stay sexy and fall in a group of girls who will have your back regardless of the situation. Cho, she, her. I mean...

• 23:57Karen Kilgariff?

  We're all Chloe.

• 23:59Georgia Hardstark?

  We've all been Chloe.

• 24:00Karen Kilgariff?

  We've all been Chloe.

• 24:02Georgia Hardstark?

  We've all been Chloe and we've all been Cho.

• 24:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Thank God for Cho. And thank God women are doing this for each other.

• 24:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 24:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, more and more now, kind of connected in that way.

• 24:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 24:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Because, Jesus.

• 24:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Looking out for each other. I feel like you, like, don't have to mind your own business anymore because we're looking out for each other because guess who's gonna do it? Fucking nobody else.

• 24:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Nobody else.

• 24:21Georgia Hardstark?

  It's up to you.

• 24:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Also, but it's, it's kind of funny, like, they're trying to get drunk and party themselves and then suddenly it's like, "Here's you in four hours."

• 24:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Chloe, yeah, right.

• 24:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Deal with it.

• 24:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Chloe's like, "Help me."

• 24:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, goddamn, okay. It says, "My illegal very first job." Light-hearted, question mark? "Hey, all you cool cats and kittens," and then in parentheses it says, "Are we still doing that?" My answer, no. "I recently listened to Minisode 401 where you read a hometown of a 10-year-old who got to be a bartender for a day. I'm normally not a one-upper," and then in parentheses, "Yes, I am, but I knew I had to write in. Let's go, girls." And then in parentheses it says, "Said like the incomparable Miss Shania Twain."

• 25:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, I heard it.

• 25:07Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, how can you not?

• 25:09Georgia Hardstark?

  It's, yeah.

• 25:10Karen Kilgariff?

  So it says, "Picture this. It's the early 90s. You walk into your local small-town Wisconsin dive bar on a Saturday morning. It reeks of stale beer, neon signs line the wall, and Saturday morning cartoons play on the TV. Why? Because I'm your bartender every Saturday morning and I am five years old." Let me explain. My parents never had a ton of money growing up, so they often had weekend jobs on top of their regular nine to fives. My mom Bonnie picked up shifts at our local hospital, working the counter that sold candy and other small items in the lobby. So on Saturdays while she did that, she couldn't watch my sister and I, and that left my dad. My dad's name is Mark, but for as long as I can remember, everyone called him Sugar.

• 25:54Karen Kilgariff?

  He was born diabetic and he couldn't have sugar, so it seems like maybe his friends were just assholes. Who knows?

• 26:03Karen Kilgariff?

  I love that nickname for a man.

• 26:05Georgia Hardstark?

  I do.

• 26:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Anywho, my dad would pick up night and weekend shifts as a bartender around town. And on Saturday mornings, my nine-year-old sister and I would pack into his blue Chevy station wagon and head to our Saturday morning shift at a bar called Shimshack's, AKA Shimmy's. When I say "our" shift, I mean it. My sister and I would take orders, pour beers, and handle money while my dad smiled on "In Pride." And then in parentheses, it says "he worked too." Imagine an irritated five-year-old walking up to you from behind the bar and using a bored tone as they ask, "What are you having?"

• 26:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god, like, dream job for five-year-old Georgia. Like, that sounds fucking incredible.

• 26:49Karen Kilgariff?

  So fun.

• 26:50Georgia Hardstark?

  So fun.

• 26:51Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, how would you, I guess you'd have to be up on a higher...

• 26:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 26:55Karen Kilgariff?

  They'd have to build you a little ramp behind the bar.

• 26:58Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm picturing cheers, but the casts are all five-year-olds. Like, how great would that be? You know?

• 27:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. Coach kinda was like a five-year-old.

• 27:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 27:09Karen Kilgariff?

  It says, "We got to know the regulars, ask them about their week, and formed somewhat of a community there. Looking back, I now know this was super illegal." Right? "I also realize now that the reason we had so many customers on a Saturday morning is because people were coming just to see if the rumors were true. A nine and five-year-old were tending bar."

• 27:30Georgia Hardstark?

  And they were alcoholics, but, okay.

• 27:32Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, all of it combined. "Despite how this might sound, I have nothing but fond memories of opening the bar with my sister and dad, knowing what the usual was for the regulars, learning how to pour the perfect draft beer, and fighting with my sister over what TV shows we would have on the old dingy TV above the bar. I usually won, and we would watch dinosaurs."

• 27:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, I remember that.

• 27:54Karen Kilgariff?

  My dad passed away in April after a very long and complicated health battle. During his services, I looked around the packed room of guests and there, sitting in the corner, was the shimmy's crew. The ones who got to know us, helped teach us life lessons and came to visit us every Saturday morning. Shit.

• 28:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 28:16Karen Kilgariff?

  I hadn't seen many of them in over 30 years, but I recognized them immediately. Most of them, well now into their 60s and 70s, would sheepishly walk up to me and start with, "You probably don't remember me." But I absolutely did. It would only take a minute before we would be reminiscing about the good old days at the bar and telling ridiculous stories about Sugar in his heyday. Love you both, proud of you both, stay sexy and toast one up for Sugar tonight.

• 28:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Sugar.

• 28:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan.

• 28:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 28:50Karen Kilgariff?

  God damn you, Megan.

• 28:51Georgia Hardstark?

  That is beautiful.

• 28:53Karen Kilgariff?

  They came.

• 28:55Georgia Hardstark?

  They probably like were a bunch of lonely, I'm sorry, I called them alcoholics. They're probably like lonely people who's like kids and grown up. And so Saturday mornings, they could just have a fun little hangout and a drink. But also like, that's adorable.

• 29:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Wisconsin bar culture is pretty like neighborhood bars, right?

• 29:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Definitely.

• 29:15Karen Kilgariff?

  It's all, they're into it. So it's kind of like, yeah, they're repping their team. Those are their people.

• 29:21Georgia Hardstark?

  That's beautiful. What a sweet story. Thank you.

• 29:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan, thank you so much.

• 29:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Great one to end on. Yeah.

• 29:27Karen Kilgariff?

  So, so good.

• 29:29Georgia Hardstark?

  If you want to send us a story and see if you can make Karen cry.

• 29:32Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, it's not that hard.

• 29:33Georgia Hardstark?

  See if you can make Georgia cry. Cry, then like, you know, Gmail, what is it? MyFavoriteMurder at Gmail.

• 29:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy.

• 29:43Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered. Goodbye.

• 29:56Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 29:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

• 30:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 30:03Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Leona Scolacci.

• 30:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 30:09Georgia Hardstark?

  And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at MyFavoriteMurder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder.

• 30:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 30:19Speaker 01

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• 30:47Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know it's the holidays when somebody in the family starts cooking before the sun comes up. The babusas are grilling in the pan, everybody's sneaking bites, and somehow, there's always room for one more person at the table. And nothing goes better with that first holiday plate than a delicious Coca-Cola. That crisp, refreshing taste makes everything that much better. Because the best holiday traditions aren't just about what we're eating. They're about who we're sharing those moments with. So check that shopping list twice, stock up on Coca-Cola for all your family fiestas, y disfruta Coca-Cola.