Brooks Wheelan

Brooks Wheelan is a stand-up comic and former SNL cast member known for his sharp, self-deprecating style. A biomedical engineering grad turned comedian, he’s released the acclaimed album This Is Cool, Right?, voiced Fred in Big Hero 6: The Series, and hosts the hit podcast Entry Level. Check out his latest special, Alive in Alaska, out now on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA6UGEnA1I0 #brookswheelan #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast =========================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey KICKOFF GET YOUR FIRST MONTH FOR $1 https://getkickoff.com/whiskey BETTER HELP 10% OFF YOUR 1ST MONTH https://betterhelp.com/whiskey ZOC DOC BOOK LOCAL DOCTORS https://zocdoc.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 0:44Andrew Santino?

  What up Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Got a good one for you today, like what Man Steve Harvey done say. Do me a favor, leave a comment down below. For the Al, go rhythm. I want to thank everybody. We got over a half a million subscribers. That's huge. I'm growing the channel and as you know, I'm starting my new golf show, No Bad Lies, also on this channel. I would love it if you spread that around, passed it around. That premieres every single Wednesday. This is going to be every Friday until the wheels fall off, baby. We're going to continue the Whiskey Ginger and grow with No Bad Lies. If you're a golf fan, check it out. If you're not, maybe it's something you might be interested in. Who knows? Who knows? You never know. Also, only doing a couple of dates. Go to Andrew Santino dot com. I'm out there in Edmonton and Winnipeg.

• 1:26Andrew Santino?

  Edmonton and Winnipeg, doing my thing. So go to Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets. I'm only doing a couple of shows because I'm on the road doing this golf show. And quite frankly, I don't know if I have the time to do more than two shows, but May 22nd and 23rd, Edmonton and Winnipeg, Andrew Santino dot com. And of course, the Bad Friends are on the move as usual, July 18th and 19th. We're only doing two shows for this whole year. That's London and Dublin. So go to BadFriendsPod dot com for those tickets.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the family holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, get a gift that'll cause a stir. A KitchenAid stand mixer. It's not just an appliance, it's a present to help them with the making. Year after year, recipe after recipe, you're enabling the family to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer this year and make more than meals.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 2:27Speaker 04

  Who is that creature in the ginger beard?

• 2:29Speaker 05

  Sturdy and ginger. Like their hair, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey, seventy-five dollars for the horse.

• 2:38Speaker 06

  Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 2:46Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on the other say that from, I guess, but I mean, once again, today, it is Brooks Wieland.

• 2:54Speaker 07

  USA.

• 2:55Andrew Santino?

  USA.

• 2:56Speaker 07

  And I'm only doing that post-election.

• 2:59Andrew Santino?

  You have to do it twice, USA, USA, because if you do it more, then it's a little dangerous. Then you're starting a chant. Brooks Wieland is on the podcast, arguably, if not quite literally, my oldest friend in comedy.

• 3:12Speaker 07

  Truly, yeah. We met when I moved here in 2009, like, right away.

• 3:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, 2008? No, '09.

• 3:19Speaker 07

  I moved here in 2009.

• 3:20Andrew Santino?

  And I met you before that, though, in my heart, in my heart.

• 3:23Speaker 07

  In your heart, yeah. You would come down to Long Beach when I lived in Long Beach.

• 3:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, the good old days.

• 3:29Speaker 07

  I remember one time I said, I was like, why don't you come down to Long Beach more? Because you were living in West Hollywood. You go, that's not how this works.

• 3:38Andrew Santino?

  You come up, dude.

• 3:39Speaker 07

  Yeah. We didn't move here to live in Long Beach.

• 3:41Andrew Santino?

  No, but I did. But the reason it's so funny is because I lived in Long Beach, like, you were on, hold on, hold on.

• 3:49Andrew Santino?

  I was on Santa Ana and Second, and your place was on...

• 3:53Speaker 07

  It was on Second, I don't remember.

• 3:54Andrew Santino?

  Second and, I do, though.

• 3:56Speaker 07

  You do?

• 3:57Andrew Santino?

  Wait, hold on.

• 3:57Speaker 07

  I don't remember. I was only there a year.

• 3:59Andrew Santino?

  It was, like, only four streets away from my old spot. God, why can't I? I do see the name in my mind, because I remember...

• 4:05Speaker 07

  I'll think of it.

• 4:06Andrew Santino?

  With an F, like a fair... Dude, I'm gonna look it up, but who cares? I'm gonna look it up for two seconds, just because I want to. Anyway, we lived in Long Beach when we first started comedy, and then we grew up, and then we moved up here, and nothing really has changed. It feels the exact same.

• 4:20Speaker 07

  I was working in Irvine at an engineering place, that's why I was down there.

• 4:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, you were smart and accomplished. Yes, smart and accomplished.

• 4:27Speaker 07

  But I, so when I moved to Los Angeles from Iowa...

• 4:30Andrew Santino?

  Laverne.

• 4:31Speaker 07

  Yes, it was Laverne.

• 4:32Andrew Santino?

  Damn it, Laverne.

• 4:33Speaker 07

  I remember my old landlord's name was Betty Duckman, and she was cool.

• 4:38Andrew Santino?

  Betty Duckman?

• 4:38Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 4:39Andrew Santino?

  That's such a great name.

• 4:40Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 4:40Andrew Santino?

  What was Betty Duckman's vibe? What was her thing? Was she retired?

• 4:43Speaker 07

  She was retired. I'd write her a check, I'd walk it over, I'd put it in her mailbox. It was great. Betty Duckman rocked.

• 4:49Andrew Santino?

  Was she a solo? Was she divorced?

• 4:51Speaker 07

  I don't know. I didn't talk to her a lot.

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  You really didn't dig in with Duckman?

• 4:54Speaker 07

  No, I just wrote her a lot of money.

• 4:57Andrew Santino?

  No, what was rent back then? Do you remember?

• 4:59Speaker 07

  I was a two-bedroom house, two-bedroom, two-bathroom house with a front yard and a garage. And it was probably fifteen hundred. It's insane.

• 5:09Andrew Santino?

  Dude, that's so funny.

• 5:10Speaker 07

  This is 2009. This isn't that long ago. This is fifteen years ago.

• 5:14Andrew Santino?

  Now that same house is probably five, six grand a month in rent.

• 5:17Speaker 07

  And it was, I would say, two, now...

• 5:21Andrew Santino?

  It was a beach, it was a beach house.

• 5:22Speaker 07

  I would say a quarter mile from the beach.

• 5:24Andrew Santino?

  Right, it was like a bungalow beach house that you could walk to the beach. It wasn't that bad. My rent was, me and my buddy Colin, I think each of us paid, um... I paid four seventy-five, I think he paid five seventy-five because he had his own, uh... He had his own bathroom, you know, en suite bathroom.

• 5:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 5:42Andrew Santino?

  I had a lot of roommates.

• 5:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 5:43Andrew Santino?

  I had three roommates and one bathroom. Easy situation.

• 5:48Speaker 07

  That's rough.

• 5:49Andrew Santino?

  Easy situation.

• 5:50Speaker 07

  Well, here's what happened one time when I was in college. Another friend in our apartment complex came over and opened up milk and put it behind our toilet. Like hid it, hid it there. It was like this prank.

• 6:02Andrew Santino?

  That's a bit, yeah.

• 6:03Speaker 07

  And then me and my roommates were so upset with each other, whoever was smelling the bathroom.

• 6:10Speaker 07

  We genuinely thought someone was doing awful things in there. We didn't think it was rotting milk.

• 6:16Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 6:16Speaker 07

  For like months.

• 6:18Andrew Santino?

  No one, well, nobody cleaned, obviously.

• 6:19Speaker 07

  No, of course not. I was just like, I swear to God, I like kicked, I like opened my friend Reese's door and I was like, "What the fuck are you doing in the bathroom, man?"

• 6:27Andrew Santino?

  Dude, think about how lazy.

• 6:29Speaker 07

  He woke up, he's like, "What are you doing in the bathroom?" It created complete dissent.

• 6:33Andrew Santino?

  Dude, how lazy are young men that they'll complain to each other before they'll even think about cleaning? What maybe is the problem? They're like, "You did it, dude. You did it."

• 6:42Speaker 07

  And also the part where you have roommates where it's, you're out of shampoo by so far that you're just putting water in it. And then throwing that on your head because you're like, "If I buy shampoo, that fucker's gonna use it."

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, they will. Well, that was the rule in that old house. You had to take all your stuff back to your room. I had a shower caddy.

• 6:58Speaker 07

  It's so dark.

• 6:58Andrew Santino?

  I had a shower caddy. Dude, I did. I had a shower caddy because we didn't trust each other.

• 7:03Speaker 07

  No, you don't trust each other.

• 7:04Andrew Santino?

  Well, we were also so broke, everyone was broke, that you're like, "I can't afford for you to use my shit, and me get into a fight with you about me having to go buy new shit." It's just a waste of a roommate fight. It's like, I'd rather fight with you about, "Hey man, when you had those people over on Friday, like 5:30 was a little overboard." 4 o'clock would have been, "Could we shut it down at 4?" 5 was like, "Come on dude, like I definitely want to go to bed."

• 7:26Speaker 07

  I pushed my buddy too far one time, where I realized I'd taken it too far. Uh, because we lived in this hallway, I'm living in Iowa City, and like you could hear me pinballing down the hall, like coming home.

• 7:38Andrew Santino?

  Bumping into the walls?

• 7:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, at like 2:30 in the morning. And I was mad at my friend for not going out with me that night, because he had to get up early in the morning. And I was just banging on his door, I was banging on his door, I was like, "Reese, you're a bitch, you don't party anymore, what happened to you?" And like, I just hear, "Jesus Christ." Like, you hear some, when you hear someone from a duck, like outside the room, take their blankets off, like, I heard like, "Hush!", and I was like, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." I ran into my room and I locked my door, and he's kicking, he kicked my door in.

• 8:08Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:09Speaker 07

  Like, just because, you know, it's a paper-thin door. But he kicked it in, and I was like, in bed, I was like, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he's like, "I'll fucking kill you", yeah.

• 8:17Andrew Santino?

  Like, I was sleeping, no, no, no, that wasn't me at all. I wasn't blacked out bumping into the walls. The roommate life, by the way, there is a piece of me that, look, obviously we're too old, but it was kinda rad. You'd come home and see friends.

• 8:30Speaker 07

  So fun.

• 8:31Andrew Santino?

  You see friends at home?

• 8:32Speaker 07

  It's so fun, you come, like, me and this roommate had the same deal, whoever woke up first, they would go and get, uh, Gatorades.

• 8:39Andrew Santino?

  Huge.

• 8:39Speaker 07

  And you would open it for your other, for them, and you'd be like, "Here's a Gatorade for you."

• 8:42Andrew Santino?

  So sweet.

• 8:43Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's like best friend stuff.

• 8:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's, you don't get that anymore.

• 8:45Speaker 07

  No!

• 8:46Andrew Santino?

  He just got out of it, he just got his own place, and he's 25. And now this is the end of it, though. You'll never experience this again, because now you're not gonna go backwards, you're either gonna move in with a girl, or you'll move, or you'll get, keep getting your own spot.

• 8:59Speaker 07

  The loneliness is odd.

• 9:00Andrew Santino?

  It's weird, right?

• 9:01Speaker 07

  Yeah, I've, I've lived alone for the last, over a year, it's the first time, I think, in my whole life I've lived completely alone.

• 9:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because you've always lived with, you've, well, you've lived with chicks.

• 9:10Speaker 07

  Roommates.

• 9:11Andrew Santino?

  Right. Uh... This is your first alone for a long time.

• 9:13Speaker 07

  First alone, 37, I was 37, lived, lived alone the last year and a half. Don't love it.

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 9:20Speaker 07

  It's boring.

• 9:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, you got, but you leave your house a lot, you're not there a lot.

• 9:23Speaker 07

  I like to gossip!

• 9:24Andrew Santino?

  You're a gossip girl, dude.

• 9:26Speaker 07

  Yeah, I want to wake up and gossip!

• 9:28Andrew Santino?

  That is exactly, that is what's fun about going out to the living room, seeing someone on their, you know, playing a video game, what someone else is thumbing through their phone and you're like, "What's going on last night? What'd you guys do?" It's, that is a fun, it's a fun little thing to stir to like, what's, what-

• 9:41Speaker 07

  Ooh, somebody got home late.

• 9:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what happened to that dude, huh?

• 9:44Speaker 07

  I had, I had, um, I won't say who this roommate was, but it was, uh, when I was like thirty-four.

• 9:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, so I know who it is.

• 9:51Speaker 07

  You know. I won't, but I won't, I will not disclose, um, but it was roommate, comic, love him, still love him.

• 9:58Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:59Speaker 07

  He texted, "Don't come home tonight." And I was like dating a girl and I was like, "Fair."

• 10:04Andrew Santino?

  Right on.

• 10:04Speaker 07

  Uh, so I didn't. And I get home the next day, like at noon, and I was like, "What's up?" He goes, "I fucked up, man." He's like, he had gone to see, um, fuck, what's that movie? Like, Quentin Tarantino wrote it, but he didn't direct it, uh, True Romance. He went and saw True Romance at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Fun, fun thing to go do. Uh, met another couple. They gave him some Vyvanse or something.

• 10:31Andrew Santino?

  I don't even know what that is.

• 10:32Speaker 07

  It's like-

• 10:33Andrew Santino?

  It sounds like, uh, is it like antidepressant stuff?

• 10:36Speaker 07

  No, it's like, uh, it's like sex medicine or something.

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  It says it's a, it's a, it's a stimulant.

• 10:43Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's like ecstasy or whatever.

• 10:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, so, oh, oh, okay, okay.

• 10:47Speaker 07

  It's not, it's not ecstasy, it's a, um-

• 10:50Andrew Santino?

  He just Adderall?

• 10:51Speaker 07

  It's Adderall. So they take a bunch of Adderall, they take a bunch of Vyvanse with these strangers.

• 10:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Speaker 07

  And then they came home and had a foursome.

• 10:59Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 11:01Speaker 07

  And I come home and he's just like, "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." And I was like, "You did what?"

• 11:08Andrew Santino?

  That's why you don't come home to me?

• 11:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's just, "Don't come home 'cause I'm having a foursome."

• 11:13Andrew Santino?

  Pretty rad though, good for that dude.

• 11:14Speaker 07

  Very funny.

• 11:14Andrew Santino?

  Good on you and Vyvanse. Thanks Vyvanse.

• 11:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:17Andrew Santino?

  This episode of Whiskey Ginger is sponsored by Vyvanse. You looking to have a foursome? Go see True Romance, get yourself some Vyvanse.

• 11:23Speaker 07

  In a cemetery.

• 11:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, at the Hollywood Forever?

• 11:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:26Andrew Santino?

  Dude, that's a pretty good lineup. Hollywood Forever Cemetery, True Romance, Vyvanse, foursome.

• 11:32Speaker 07

  Fun night.

• 11:33Andrew Santino?

  Fun night, dude. You ever had a foursome?

• 11:35Speaker 07

  No.

• 11:36Andrew Santino?

  Threesome?

• 11:37Speaker 07

  I-

• 11:37Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever had the devil's threesome?

• 11:38Speaker 07

  I hooked up with two girls one time, uh, not like, we didn't have sex, but we were fooling around.

• 11:45Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 11:45Speaker 07

  And it was after I was doing the Bell House in New York, and I felt terrible afterwards, and I was like-

• 11:52Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 12:06Speaker 07

  I was like, I'm, I'm sorry, this felt like-

• 12:08Andrew Santino?

  Why? Cause you didn't, you didn't think you did a good job?

• 12:10Speaker 07

  It just felt like a, I was like, I'm not a threesome guy.

• 12:13Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 12:13Speaker 07

  And then they told me that like, we came to the show with this purpose and then I felt like I had been used.

• 12:23Speaker 07

  I was like, oh, oh, I guess I'm just a piece of meat.

• 12:26Andrew Santino?

  Well, you were.

• 12:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 12:27Andrew Santino?

  And you should be.

• 12:28Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:28Andrew Santino?

  I did the devil's threesome with my buddy Todd.

• 12:31Speaker 07

  Oh, no.

• 12:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was tough. That one was pretty rough.

• 12:33Speaker 07

  I just turned into Pete Seeger from that Bob Dylan movie. Oh goodness.

• 12:36Andrew Santino?

  Oh goodness gracious.

• 12:38Speaker 07

  I just-

• 12:39Andrew Santino?

  Get him his banjo, please.

• 12:40Speaker 07

  Try and just have a nice tribulation. So wait-

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no.

• 12:43Speaker 07

  So you did, uh-

• 12:44Andrew Santino?

  A girl, a girl-

• 12:46Speaker 07

  How? What age?

• 12:46Andrew Santino?

  A girl, this is sophomore year of college.

• 12:49Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 12:50Andrew Santino?

  A girl- Yeah, 20 maybe we were.

• 12:52Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:53Andrew Santino?

  A girl was at my buddy's house and was flirting.

• 12:56Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:56Andrew Santino?

  But it was like, kinda like a flirt. She was talking to everybody. She was being cutesy with everybody.

• 13:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  So it wasn't like exclusive to us. You know, it wasn't like, I didn't feel like, ooh, she likes me. And then she had said to me, uh, I kinda like your friend Todd. And I was like, oh, alright, that's annoying.

• 13:14Speaker 07

  And this is in Arizona?

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:15Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  And I was already kind of annoyed. I was like, why'd you fucking go talk to him then? Leave me alone. Like, why are you flirting with me? And then, and she's like, no, no, no, but I was thinking, maybe both, both you and Todd could hang out. We could all hang out.

• 13:24Speaker 07

  Whoa!

• 13:26Andrew Santino?

  And then I went up to him and I was like, are you cool with this? Is this weird? I don't know, is this, I mean, obviously I've never done this. And he was like, he was like very like a, yeah, bro, like one of these fucking San Diego, you know what I mean? These San Diego, that's why I went to, Arizona, Arizona State was filled with like those guys. He was like, I don't know, bro, I think it's fucking kinda chill. I think it'll be fucking cool if you just don't be weird about it. And I was like, no, I'm not. I just, you would, that, do you wanna, is that what we were gonna do? He's like, yeah, fuck it. We go back to their, we go back to the, this other house party.

• 13:50Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 13:51Andrew Santino?

  We go upstairs.

• 13:51Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:52Andrew Santino?

  Real tough, dude. One of the, one of the most embarrassing tough moments in my life was starting to get started together. Like hooking up and then hearing him go, oh, yeah.

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  And I was like, "No! No!" I had full panic. I was like, "I can't, I can't." And literally, this is so gross and sad and weird. I literally stopped. Oh, this is so embarrassing and stupid. Wait, I stopped, I went to the bathroom, and I took a shower.

• 14:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:16Andrew Santino?

  I was just like, I had to shower to like, get rid of how sad I felt. They still, dude, they were going at it. He's like-

• 14:22Speaker 07

  Of course!

• 14:22Andrew Santino?

  He was like, "Whatever, dude, you're like, I was being a pussy about it." So then, they kept hooking up when I left. I showered, cleaned up, and then it was like, "Later, have fun."

• 14:29Speaker 07

  I had a joke about, like, showering in college. Uh, about how a stand-up shower can turn into a lay-down shower if you're sad enough.

• 14:36Andrew Santino?

  I remember this joke, yeah. That's a great joke, dude.

• 14:38Speaker 07

  But it was, yeah, it was, it came from, I mean, first of all, that is that, that story's insane.

• 14:43Andrew Santino?

  It's disgusting. What was I thinking? Did I think that was gonna be rad? Like, "No, it's my buddy." I don't know why I thought that was a cool idea. And it wasn't like a alpha like, "Yeah, dude, we're gonna hook up with this chick."

• 14:54Speaker 07

  No, it's not fun!

• 14:55Andrew Santino?

  It was very pensive and weird and nervous and like, "What are we doing?"

• 14:58Speaker 07

  No, part of that sounds cool.

• 14:59Andrew Santino?

  It was whack.

• 15:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:00Andrew Santino?

  But it was her idea, which is like-

• 15:02Speaker 07

  Sure.

• 15:02Andrew Santino?

  Made it feel better, cuz I was like, "All right." It's not like we went up to a girl like, "You're hooking up with us." She proposed it, so I thought, "Maybe she's gonna be in control." Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna walk in the room and she's gonna be like, "Here's the deal." No! We all got in the room and we were like, "Okay." It was so fucking weird, man.

• 15:17Speaker 07

  We have a friend who, it's his joke, so I'll let him tell if he chooses to, but he has a story where, when he was like a senior in high school, uh, he was hanging out in a hot tub with a gay guy, and the guy was like, "I bet I can make you come really fast." And he said, "Okay." The dude blew him.

• 15:34Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 15:35Speaker 07

  Yes. And then he's, then he spent the night laying on, laying on just like, the kitchen floor being like, "I think I, am I gay?"

• 15:44Andrew Santino?

  "I think I'm gay." By the way, a guy, a guy betting you, "I bet I can make you come."

• 15:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  What are you gonna say to that? I don't gamble?

• 15:52Speaker 07

  I don't know.

• 15:53Andrew Santino?

  I'm not a gambler.

• 15:53Speaker 07

  I haven't had it happen yet.

• 15:56Andrew Santino?

  McCone, propose? No. First of all, before we go too far-

• 16:00Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 16:01Andrew Santino?

  Because you and I will just ramble about nothing forever. Please, ladies and gentlemen, watch, uh, Brooks's stand-up special. It's out right now.

• 16:08Speaker 07

  It's out.

• 16:09Andrew Santino?

  Cause we're talking about comedy. It's out right now. It's called Alive in Alaska.

• 16:13Speaker 07

  Alive in Alaska. It's good.

• 16:15Andrew Santino?

  It's beautiful, dude. It's, uh, it's really, really pretty.

• 16:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:17Andrew Santino?

  You did such a great job. You sent me stuff before you ever posted it when you were on the road doing like the documentary of it.

• 16:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:23Andrew Santino?

  This is really rad. Go watch it. The link will be in the description down below.

• 16:26Speaker 07

  Very cool.

• 16:26Andrew Santino?

  But please go watch, uh, my old dog Brooks. My old dog Brooks. Anyway.

• 16:31Speaker 07

  It's the best special you'll see someone lose $20,000 making.

• 16:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you lost money making it. You told me, you're like, dude, you're, you go, you're not gonna believe this. I lost money making it.

• 16:39Speaker 07

  I lost a lot of money making it.

• 16:41Andrew Santino?

  You know what, though? Eh...

• 16:43Speaker 07

  Well, that's why you should watch it.

• 16:44Andrew Santino?

  You should watch it, please.

• 16:46Speaker 07

  I didn't get rich on it.

• 16:47Andrew Santino?

  Is there a donate button on the thing? Do you do that for YouTube and stuff?

• 16:50Speaker 07

  No, I don't know how it works.

• 16:51Andrew Santino?

  You should do that.

• 16:52Speaker 07

  No.

• 16:53Andrew Santino?

  Wait, what do you mean? That's a very normal thing. He could, he'll tell you.

• 16:55Speaker 07

  I'm not gonna, just come see me live. Come see me live.

• 16:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but what it does, though, it is kinda rad. I've seen this with specials where people self-produce them. It, there's an option to tip, and then people will help kick back to finance it.

• 17:08Speaker 07

  Well...

• 17:08Andrew Santino?

  You don't need the money.

• 17:09Speaker 07

  Wish I knew that. It's also, it's not on his channel. It's on 800 Pound Gorilla.

• 17:12Andrew Santino?

  It's on 800 pounds. Oh, well, they wouldn't give him that money, huh? That's disgusting.

• 17:15Speaker 07

  I also, just watch it. It's good.

• 17:16Andrew Santino?

  Listen here, 800 pound. Good people, though. I did my special with, or did my first album.

• 17:21Speaker 07

  They're great. Um, okay. Co- college bullshit, uh...

• 17:26Andrew Santino?

  Wait, hold on, though. I wanna talk about Alaska.

• 17:28Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 17:29Andrew Santino?

  For a second. Cause I've never been. My buddy Josh did wilderness touring there years ago.

• 17:33Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:34Andrew Santino?

  I foolishly didn't take him up on the offer. He's like, "Come up, dude. I'll give you the free run. Like, you'll come with me on the, on the wilderness tour."

• 17:40Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 17:40Andrew Santino?

  And I had like one little gap chance to do it, and I blew it. And then he left and quit doing it, but I was su- super bummed. Did you ever do like one of those wilderness where we go camp for a while?

• 17:49Speaker 07

  I've been to Alaska twice. I went up for my 30th birthday with Nick Rutherford, and we camped in Denali for a week.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  Did you have a guide or no? You went solo?

• 17:58Speaker 07

  No, solo. And then this last, uh, no, I've been three times. Went to Fairbanks. Fairbanks is fucking whatever. Fairbanks sucks.

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 18:05Speaker 07

  Southern Alaska's the best part of Alaska. You think you wanna go north, you wanna stay in southern Alaska.

• 18:09Andrew Santino?

  Why does Fairbanks suck?

• 18:10Speaker 07

  It's tundra.

• 18:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's too much. It's too cold. It's just nothing.

• 18:13Speaker 07

  No, it's just, there's, the mountains aren't even there. It's just like, it's just flat and high up and cold.

• 18:19Andrew Santino?

  Flat, empty, high up.

• 18:20Speaker 07

  Flat, empty, high up.

• 18:20Andrew Santino?

  And you can see Russia.

• 18:22Speaker 07

  Not from Fairbanks. You can, maybe, I'm do it. So I just booked another tour in Alaska in September, if you want to come.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  Who tours more than, more than you in Alaska?

• 18:31Speaker 07

  I'm like the Alaska guy now.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  You're like the Alaska guy.

• 18:34Speaker 07

  I love it.

• 18:34Andrew Santino?

  No, that is rad.

• 18:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 18:36Andrew Santino?

  But tell me though, so Fairbanks? You gotta go down.

• 18:38Speaker 07

  Fairbanks sucks. Uh, Juneau's the best. Juneau's cool.

• 18:40Andrew Santino?

  Juneau I've heard is rad.

• 18:41Speaker 07

  Anchorage is boring, but it's in Alaska. The, the thing they say about Anchorage is like, when you're in Anchorage, you're an hour and a half away from Alaska. So it just means you drive anywhere for an hour and a half and you can get to somewhere cool.

• 18:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, do you fly in Anchorage though, don't you?

• 18:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 18:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you have to, right?

• 18:55Speaker 07

  Yeah. Um, Juneau's cool. Just like Southern Alaska rocks.

• 19:00Andrew Santino?

  How, okay, the people, the crowds. Like, when you started going there, what's, what's the vibe of the humans that are there?

• 19:06Speaker 07

  The vibe for like these really small towns I do, because I did like this big tour and then finished with the special in Anchorage. But it's the only, anytime we've ever done comedy in our whole lives, uh, you're like, hey, if you don't want to see comedy, go to a different bar. But I was in towns where I was like, this is the only bar. And I'm so, if you don't want to see comedy, talk as loud as you want.

• 19:28Andrew Santino?

  I'm sorry, I'm in your bar.

• 19:29Speaker 07

  Yeah, I'm at the only bar in town and you're, they're telling you to be quiet and you just got done working all day? This is on me. Yeah.

• 19:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 19:38Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:38Andrew Santino?

  And the promoters were like, that's kind of how it goes.

• 19:40Speaker 07

  Right. People there were cool though, but they're a little like, if you're good, why are you here?

• 19:46Andrew Santino?

  Hmm, interesting, okay.

• 19:47Speaker 07

  That's how I felt in Iowa. Like, anytime anybody would come through Iowa, I'm like, must not be doing good.

• 19:53Andrew Santino?

  As if Iowa's just like an empty place in the middle of nowhere.

• 19:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, like, what, if you're, you must need some money.

• 19:59Andrew Santino?

  Someone has a fucking child, a little child support payment.

• 20:02Speaker 07

  Yeah, we got a lot of, um.

• 20:04Andrew Santino?

  Did you take someone with you, by the way?

• 20:06Speaker 07

  No.

• 20:07Andrew Santino?

  You, so, so you called a show?

• 20:10Speaker 07

  Well, I, it was even crazier. I had local Alaskan comics opening for me everywhere.

• 20:14Andrew Santino?

  Was it, did you find anybody that you were like, this person's really good?

• 20:17Speaker 07

  Absolutely.

• 20:18Andrew Santino?

  Would you take them with you on a tour of the?

• 20:20Speaker 07

  No.

• 20:20Andrew Santino?

  The lower?

• 20:21Speaker 07

  No.

• 20:23Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 20:24Speaker 07

  Yeah, I like them.

• 20:25Andrew Santino?

  Not that much.

• 20:26Speaker 07

  Yeah, they were great for there.

• 20:27Andrew Santino?

  Well, shout out a name. Give us a name of somebody. Do you remember?

• 20:29Speaker 07

  Ben Peterson was great.

• 20:30Andrew Santino?

  Ben Peterson.

• 20:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:31Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to BP.

• 20:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, Justin Sands is super duper funny.

• 20:34Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna shout him out. Just Ben. No, no.

• 20:37Speaker 07

  Yeah, Ben's, I mean, there was, there was a, I did like, probably 20 comics I met along the way.

• 20:43Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 20:44Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah, it was like-

• 20:45Andrew Santino?

  But there's no comedy club.

• 20:47Speaker 07

  No comedy club.

• 20:47Andrew Santino?

  It's only bars and maybe a theater, a couple of theaters.

• 20:50Speaker 07

  One theater, the Bear Tooth Theater, yeah.

• 20:51Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 20:51Speaker 07

  So, but like I got there, hopped in Ben Peterson's car, drove to McCarthy, that's like an eight, a nine hour drive.

• 20:57Andrew Santino?

  Nine hours?

• 20:58Speaker 07

  Yeah, McCarthy's a town of 50 people.

• 21:00Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 21:01Speaker 07

  Five zero.

• 21:02Andrew Santino?

  It's just one family.

• 21:02Speaker 07

  It's in a, yeah, the guy, a guy had taken over the town, truly.

• 21:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, seriously, it's a small family.

• 21:09Speaker 07

  He's like, I'm in charge of the roads here, and they were like fighting with him, but I was doing stand up at his bar, so I had to side with the man who owned the roads.

• 21:16Andrew Santino?

  Always gotta side with the man who owns the roads.

• 21:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:17Andrew Santino?

  That is, that's a key to life. Side with the man that owns the road.

• 21:21Speaker 07

  And so that, the tour kicked off with me doing this called Last Man Standing. It was, uh, in McCarthy, it was the last day, like, the town was open, they're all leaving. So what Last Man Standing is, is they all drink and eat the supplies that they had for the summer.

• 21:37Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 21:38Speaker 07

  So they're like, we gotta get rid of all this, cause it's gonna go bad when we leave.

• 21:41Andrew Santino?

  Right, cause it's gonna rot.

• 21:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:43Andrew Santino?

  So they just throw a big eating and drinking party?

• 21:45Speaker 07

  Eating, drinking party, it goes, it gets crazy.

• 21:48Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 21:48Speaker 07

  And I did stand up in the middle of it.

• 21:50Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, people are, people are gorging and binging months of food.

• 21:55Speaker 07

  The food was so fucking bad, cause it truly was, like, the end of their season.

• 22:01Andrew Santino?

  It's like a bunch of elk and, it's like all-

• 22:03Speaker 07

  No dude, no.

• 22:03Andrew Santino?

  No?

• 22:04Speaker 07

  Like, somebody was like, they, like, it's just like, they had like hot sauce in a bowl, and like chips next to hot sauce, and like, do you wanna dip the chips in hot sauce? And then like old macaroni, and it was fucking awful, cause it was just-

• 22:17Andrew Santino?

  I do love old macaroni though.

• 22:18Speaker 07

  Sure, but I remember I was sitting there and somebody was like, they put out ice cream cones, and I was like, oh fuck, I gotta go get an ice cream cone. Just cones!

• 22:25Andrew Santino?

  Just a cone?

• 22:26Speaker 07

  Just a cone!

• 22:27Andrew Santino?

  No ice cream?

• 22:27Speaker 07

  No ice cream!

• 22:28Andrew Santino?

  That's insane.

• 22:29Speaker 07

  So it was like, you could eat an ice cream cone if you wanted.

• 22:31Andrew Santino?

  But is there no, was no one creative? Did not someone make something with the stuff?

• 22:35Speaker 07

  I don't know, man.

• 22:36Andrew Santino?

  See, this would be the trick, right? Old macaroni? What do you do with old macaroni? You know, you fry it. You fry old macaroni.

• 22:42Speaker 07

  Look, I performed in front of a fucking buffet, man. A bad buffet.

• 22:46Andrew Santino?

  Tough dude.

• 22:47Speaker 07

  And then I found out like 20 minutes in, I was like, do you guys speak English? And they didn't. It was a lot of German people.

• 22:53Andrew Santino?

  Wait, Germans?

• 22:54Speaker 07

  I don't, it's a national park. It's an interesting place to go.

• 22:57Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 22:57Speaker 07

  Some people ended up there. It was a wild way to start off.

• 22:59Andrew Santino?

  What did this do for your ego? Is it helping or hurting?

• 23:03Speaker 07

  Well, it was all good because truly, you know, like I was like, I want to be in Alaska for two weeks before I shoot the special so I can open with Alaska material.

• 23:10Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 23:10Speaker 07

  So I'm just like, this is good stuff. This is good stuff.

• 23:14Andrew Santino?

  Getting good stuff, baby?

• 23:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:15Andrew Santino?

  So it's gather, it was gather, it was, it was all worth the experience.

• 23:18Speaker 07

  I was trying my best.

• 23:19Andrew Santino?

  But it was tough a little bit.

• 23:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, it was really bad.

• 23:21Andrew Santino?

  Like the, what do you have in the nights at night where you're like, what, what am I, what am I doing? This is a bad idea?

• 23:25Speaker 07

  No, I never thought it was, I was always pretty stoked.

• 23:27Andrew Santino?

  You're rad on it, yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 07

  I was having fun.

• 23:29Andrew Santino?

  So then it's all good.

• 23:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:30Andrew Santino?

  Cause some of those, you know,

• 23:33Andrew Santino?

  historically, there's some moments where you're like, maybe this is the worst idea I've ever had in my entire life.

• 23:36Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 23:38Andrew Santino?

  Like sometimes.

• 23:39Speaker 07

  I knew, I had known how well the Anchorage shows had sold.

• 23:42Andrew Santino?

  Sure, you were fine.

• 23:43Speaker 07

  We're good. We're gonna get there. This is just B-roll.

• 23:46Andrew Santino?

  Right. When you bolster it to something that's already done, you're like, this other shit doesn't matter.

• 23:50Speaker 07

  Right.

• 23:50Andrew Santino?

  It'll be fun. If it's rad, it's a bonus. If it's not, it's a wash.

• 23:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:54Andrew Santino?

  And I don't really care. But, but you, but you financed it. Film that had your own film crew. So you didn't have a production company help with all that? You did all that?

• 24:02Speaker 07

  Eight Hundred Pound helped, but okay, so when, so it all started with Eight Hundred Pound Gorilla being like, hey, do you want to shoot a special? Um, cause it opened for John Oliver at the Ryman Theater National. He's a comic. He's doing all right.

• 24:14Andrew Santino?

  Popular?

• 24:15Speaker 07

  No. Uh, but I was at the Ryman and then it was good. And they were like, hey, do you want to shoot a special? I was like, I do. And they're like, all right, which city? And I was like, I want to go to Alaska. And they're like, no.

• 24:25Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 24:26Speaker 07

  Yeah. They're like, here's how much we'll give you to do Chicago. It was $15,000. So like, if you want to go to Chicago and shoot it for 15 grand, we can do that. And I was like, I want to go to Alaska. And they're like, we're not going to Alaska.

• 24:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 24:36Speaker 07

  And I was like, what if I cover everything over 15 grand? And they were like. Okay.

• 24:42Andrew Santino?

  It's on you, yeah, they don't give a shit.

• 24:43Speaker 07

  So then, yeah, so then it was like, I put in like twenty to do it.

• 24:47Andrew Santino?

  Twenty on top of the fifteen?

• 24:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 24:49Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 24:49Speaker 07

  So it's an expensive, nice special. Um.

• 24:53Andrew Santino?

  Dude, that's a lot of money, I mean, you doubled the budget.

• 24:55Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 24:56Andrew Santino?

  Well, what are you gonna do? You'll make it back.

• 24:59Speaker 07

  Sure, sure, sure. But so that's, that's like how, so they were helping and they were producing and then I was just covering extra costs.

• 25:06Andrew Santino?

  That's good.

• 25:06Speaker 07

  By going to a dumb place to do it.

• 25:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but you did it your own way, which is kinda, that's the best part about it, cause then, then, then no one's gonna tell you like it has to feel like this or look like this. No one's gonna do that, cause they're like, well, it's his money, who gives a shit?

• 25:17Speaker 07

  Right, yeah, and I edited, me and Martine, the, my, uh.

• 25:20Andrew Santino?

  Say it the right way. Martine.

• 25:23Speaker 07

  Martine.

• 25:23Andrew Santino?

  Martine.

• 25:24Speaker 07

  Martine.

• 25:24Andrew Santino?

  Mar, can you go Mar?

• 25:25Speaker 07

  Uh, Martine.

• 25:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 07

  Martine. Uh, we, we edited the intro and outro to give them that shit and it was good.

• 25:32Andrew Santino?

  You did it and then you let them, let one of their editors do the rest of it?

• 25:35Speaker 07

  No, we did.

• 25:36Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you did all of it?

• 25:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:37Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow. That's pretty rad.

• 25:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that, that's the difference in this day and age is like people, I think fans are so like smart and keen now that they know that like, most of the time, everybody wants to do self-funded shit because then, no, you have all the control. Cause the, the early days, like back in the, you know, when we did our half hours together, it's like.

• 25:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:55Andrew Santino?

  You have zero, literally zero control. In fact, I remember sitting with, I won't say her name, sitting before and them like going over your jokes and I was like, what? I feel like tell you what I'm gonna say.

• 26:04Speaker 07

  The half hour was like one of the most fun things. We did it together.

• 26:07Andrew Santino?

  It was awesome.

• 26:09Speaker 07

  Uh.

• 26:09Andrew Santino?

  But you had no control, by the way, it was like, that's their shit.

• 26:11Speaker 07

  But no control, but like I had just gotten done, I'd done, just left, been fired off SNL.

• 26:17Andrew Santino?

  You didn't get fired.

• 26:18Speaker 07

  Sure.

• 26:18Andrew Santino?

  You exited.

• 26:19Speaker 07

  I exited SNL and so I was like, I didn't take the half hour too serious, but I, maybe very, I, I just felt like I didn't need it.

• 26:27Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 26:27Speaker 07

  When, when in fact, I totally needed it.

• 26:29Andrew Santino?

  We absolutely needed it, yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 26:31Andrew Santino?

  It was very important.

• 26:32Speaker 07

  Somebody gave me this advice, like, don't, like do twenty-two, don't do anymore, so then they can't fuck with it.

• 26:37Andrew Santino?

  Correct.

• 26:38Speaker 07

  And I remember I did twenty-two and walked off and they're like, go back out and do a little more. I go, no, fuck off.

• 26:44Andrew Santino?

  That was so smart, man. I wish I did that. That sucked a little bit, because they, cause then they have control over what you leave in.

• 26:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, because it was, but it was only because I was like in that moment, thought I was bigger than it, which I wasn't, but that was a good way to feel at the time.

• 26:55Andrew Santino?

  I guess you were at the time, cause you had just done SNL, so you were.

• 26:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, I was like, I don't need to do this.

• 26:58Andrew Santino?

  You were a hotshot, baby.

• 26:59Speaker 07

  Yeah, I was like, I wanna do an hour and they're like, we're about to not be a network anymore.

• 27:05Andrew Santino?

  You know Autozone? They bought us. I think they own us right now. I think we're gonna be in the parts department. Yeah, no, it was a, it was a cool moment for our

• 27:13Speaker 07

  Our friend group.

• 27:14Andrew Santino?

  Our career and our friend group. Yeah, it was kinda wild. And we stayed in the same hotel room.

• 27:17Speaker 07

  Yeah, I remember the night before, I closed on a joke that we had gotten stoned in my room, you, me and Hampton. And I was doing a bit to you and Hampton, a guy who gets mad at a party and tries to storm off, but he had roller blades on.

• 27:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 27:30Speaker 07

  So I was just doing it in my hotel room, like screaming at you, being like, "Fucking fucker, fucker." And then I closed the special with it.

• 27:37Andrew Santino?

  It was great. When you were acting it out in the hotel room too, the act outs, the best part about it. But to watch a guy struggle to get up after he's yelled at everybody. "Kiss my ass!" And then like, "Fucking assholes, man." It's such a good bit.

• 27:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, it was so fun. Like, that was peak, uh, like, being excited to do comedy.

• 27:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, cause it was also, like, real TV for us. Cause back then too, getting on TV was impossible. It was like Tonight Show, maybe Conan, and then Leno was not a real thing for any of our friends anyway.

• 28:06Speaker 07

  First guy I ever saw do comedy was Barry Rothbart did Leno.

• 28:09Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he did Leno?

• 28:10Speaker 07

  Yeah. And I went with him and I was like, "That's Jay Leno, man."

• 28:14Andrew Santino?

  It's Jay Leno, dog. He's right there. You could touch him.

• 28:17Speaker 07

  What was the first late nights that you saw, like?

• 28:18Andrew Santino?

  Conan.

• 28:19Speaker 07

  Did you do it? Was that the first time you saw it? Was when you did it?

• 28:22Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. The first time I went to one?

• 28:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:24Andrew Santino?

  The first time I went to one was

• 28:29Andrew Santino?

  to watch, I'm trying to think of who I watched do Conan.

• 28:35Andrew Santino?

  Maybe...

• 28:37Speaker 07

  Did you?

• 28:37Andrew Santino?

  Maybe Moran? Moran did Conan?

• 28:39Speaker 07

  That makes sense, cause I remember when I did Conan, Brent was there.

• 28:42Andrew Santino?

  He worked at Conan?

• 28:43Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  I think I went to go see him do a spot. That was my first time watching a live one. And it's so funny, when, back then, when you go to watch it too, you know, you don't know how the ins and outs of this work. And so like, I waited in the regu, the line for the audience.

• 28:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:56Andrew Santino?

  And then someone had found out that I was like there, cause Brent had asked someone to go in. And the woman was like, "What are you doing?" I was like, "I don't, I thought I was gonna go here." She's like, like so annoyed at how dumb I was. It was like, "No, you fucking guy, you're supposed to be in the thing." But I was, I thought you sit in the audience. I was like, "Isn't that where you go?" She was like, "No, you fucking idiot, you stand backstage." So I stood and watched, uh, who used to open, who used to do warmup, uh?

• 29:19Speaker 07

  Jimmy Pardo.

• 29:19Andrew Santino?

  Pardo. Yeah, I watched Pardo light up the crowd. Those are the fucking, those days were the best Conan days.

• 29:24Speaker 07

  I did Conan, uh, and Pardo came backstage and he was just like, "Not a good crowd." What?

• 29:30Andrew Santino?

  Don't tell me that dude. Don't tell me that dude.

• 29:32Speaker 07

  He's like, they're rough. I'm gonna go home. I was like, okay.

• 29:35Andrew Santino?

  It's so funny that, and then you cracked it anyway, but sometimes that does work. Like I, in a bad way, I was in Vegas. I've told this dumb story, but like Joel McHale was hosting like a weekend for, um, uh,

• 29:50Andrew Santino?

  oh my god, what's wrong with you? Jim Beam. And Jim Beam was like, hey, we want a bunch of comics. It was me, Gary Veder, you know Gary, right?

• 29:56Speaker 07

  Love Gary.

• 29:57Andrew Santino?

  The best, um, Alonzo Boden and one more, and I'm forgetful, but, um, I was like, oh, this is gonna be a great, like Gary, we're gonna hang out in Vegas. It's gonna be rad. We'll go get something to eat. Like, you know, they paid for this nice hotel room. And we get down there and Joel McHale is the saddest I've ever seen anybody in my entire life. And he comes backstage and he's like, yeah, have fun guys. Like, like that, like, yeah, enjoy. And I was like, what's his deal dude? He's being a real weiner about it. This is awesome. We're getting paid like five grand. I was like, we're billionaires.

• 30:22Speaker 07

  Whoa.

• 30:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we're billionaires.

• 30:23Speaker 07

  That's a lot.

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  I was like, we're billionaires. And Gary and I are like all amped up and I'm like, Joel's just having a night dude. We're gonna go rip. And then we went out there. I remember I go out there and I, it hit me. Jim Beam wasn't good old Southern Kentucky boys. It was bought by Suntory, the Japanese whiskey maker. Like, they're a huge company. It was all Japanese men in business suits. And I'm telling my jokes to people at round tables cutting into meat. And I was like, oh, this is the saddest I think I could ever be. Not one la- dude, not even, some of the guys didn't even turn their shoulder to look at you. They kind of shouldered away from you even more. And I was like, right, Joel's right. This was the worst. It, it worked, whatever he was doing.

• 31:03Speaker 07

  But also like, that's when you're new and you're like, I have to do well. Now it's nice to like be in that room and be like, well, we're all just gonna fucking eat.

• 31:10Andrew Santino?

  I don't care. Yeah, I couldn't care less. Yeah, back then it was like nerve wracking.

• 31:13Speaker 07

  No, you need to do well so you get ass back. But now it's just like, it's not going well and people are eating and you're like, alright, we'll just stand here.

• 31:20Andrew Santino?

  Right. Like I don't- Veder did good. I ate it. And then Alonzo Boden, of course, killed it because they were like, please stay clean, stay clean. And we did do squeaky clean. And Alonzo Boden, obviously not gonna be able to say it. But he comes out and he goes, y'all ever seen an N-word this big before? And they loved it.

• 31:36Speaker 07

  Of course.

• 31:37Andrew Santino?

  And I was like, let these little Japanese guys are racist. Look at these guys. Like they fucking lost it. They were like, they couldn't believe he would say it.

• 31:43Speaker 07

  I remember, I was-

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  Crushed. Alonzo crushed.

• 31:46Speaker 07

  Well, I mean, of course he did. I was doing the Comedy Central South Beach Festival.

• 31:51Andrew Santino?

  I remember you went to that.

• 31:52Speaker 07

  It was me.

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  It went, by the way, wasn't that like one year it only happened?

• 31:56Speaker 07

  We ended it.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you started and ended it.

• 31:59Speaker 07

  It was me, Chris DiStefano, Sean Donnelly, and Michael Che. And, um, those, uh, DiStefano.

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  And with your powers combined, you can end any festival.

• 32:10Speaker 07

  Sean Donnelly, New York guys, ready for anything. I come out my little LA attitude, like, hey, we're just gonna work through it. It was in an outdoor venue, in a, in like, it wasn't even in a theater. It was free comedy at like, two in Miami.

• 32:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, gross. Who's going to that?

• 32:26Speaker 07

  I'll tell you who came on. A homeless woman fought me on stage.

• 32:31Speaker 07

  She came up and she was like, what is this? And I was like, how are you? And then she like, punched me.

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  Not good.

• 32:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:38Andrew Santino?

  I'm in Miami.

• 32:39Speaker 07

  But then Che and DiStefano go up, fucking laser. They did well, and I'm like, what the heck?

• 32:44Andrew Santino?

  They had the thing.

• 32:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because they were used to the chaos.

• 32:47Speaker 07

  Exactly. I was just like, I, don't you guys wanna see me read out of my notebook a little bit? Yeah.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Born from the intensity of a night in the Eternal City. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to remain your king of your domain. Showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, get paid, all in one place. Squarespace is phenomenal. If you've never used it before, you don't know what you're missing. I've created so many websites over the years. They're usually inefficient and stupid and ugly. And thanks to Squarespace, has wonderful templates and they guide you step by step on how to make something appealing and something that can grow your business and your audience. The best part is, they've got so much, they have cutting-edge design. And these SEO tools, these integrated Squarespace SEO tools, they're going to help you,

• 34:10Andrew Santino?

  your website become optimized and indexed with meta descriptions. So an auto-generated sitemap and much more. This way you show up many more times, more often when people are looking for you, even if they're not looking for you, might just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop up. They really do a great job over there. They have a donation station. They also have videos, a video platform where you can be promoting your own content or whatever you're selling or whatever you're making, whatever you're offering. And Squarespace has condensed this down to one simple place. So if you're building a website, I don't know what you're doing, you got to try it out. Get over to Squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use the offer code WHISKY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey, I'm here to tell you about Kickoff. Everyone needs credit and it is the bane of many of our existences, you know?

• 34:55Andrew Santino?

  When you're trying to build it, you're trying to retain it. And that's why Kickoff is here with the most popular plan at just $5 a month. Kickoff Premium has even more power. It's a feature pack plan that's $20 a month. Kickoff gives you a credit line just for building credit and it reports it to the three major credit bureaus, alright? That's what Kickoff does. They give you this credit line just for credit building, reports it. It's pretty amazing. Kickoff helps you quickly improve the key factors that determine your credit. Many people are like, "What are they? I don't know." I had to look online for all this stuff and find out what builds your credit. I'm in my 40s, I still don't know. Factor one is your new account immediately diversifies your credit mix. Factor two is each on-time monthly Kickoff payment builds payment history. And factor three, because your monthly payments are so small, your credit utilization, the amount of credit you're using, gets healthier fast.

• 35:39Andrew Santino?

  So, you know, whether you want to buy a home, you want to buy a car, you know, take advantage of a credit card rewards program to travel or whatever that may be for you. Or you're new to the United States, like my good friend Fancy on Bad Friends, and you want to establish credit. You're new here, you got to, you got to, you got to try Kickoff. No matter how fast time seems to be flying, it's never too late to make progress, okay? If you're saving up for a big purchase like a home or a car, you need to build credit fast, Kickoff can help you. Their number one credit building app and the apps are in plans to start at just $5 a month. That's dirt cheap, man. No credit check, no hidden fees, and no interest. No interest whatsoever, man. This stuff has helped so many people and I needed so much help on my credit, particularly when I first moved to Los Angeles. So, thank God for Kickoff. Because it is, it is helpful. Building, building credit can happen faster than you expect with Kickoff.

• 36:24Andrew Santino?

  Don't wait. Get your first month for just a dollar at GetKickoff.com/Whiskey. That's kickoff without the C. It's get, it's 80% off at GetKickoff, K-I-K-O-F-F.com/Whiskey. Must sign up at GetKickoff.com/Whiskey to activate offer. Offer applies to new customers, first month only, subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Terms and conditions may apply. Points set based on Equifax Vantage Score 3.0. Changes for Kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside of Kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary.

• 37:00Andrew Santino?

  You miss, you miss New York at all?

• 37:03Speaker 07

  I'm there a lot, actually.

• 37:05Andrew Santino?

  You'll never move, though.

• 37:06Speaker 07

  Never, ever, ever again moving back to New York.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  What's the quote? I quote you a lot. What's the quote?

• 37:12Speaker 07

  Oh, it's the city that broke my brain.

• 37:14Andrew Santino?

  City that broke my brain.

• 37:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:15Andrew Santino?

  Whenever somebody asks me about New York, I go, "It's the city that Brookes's brain."

• 37:18Speaker 07

  It did. It destroyed me.

• 37:20Andrew Santino?

  It was awesome to watch.

• 37:21Speaker 07

  I moved there.

• 37:22Andrew Santino?

  It was a firework.

• 37:23Speaker 07

  Feeling pretty good.

• 37:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, feeling really good.

• 37:25Speaker 07

  Came back and was like, "I gotta go to therapy now."

• 37:28Andrew Santino?

  Yep, you did.

• 37:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:30Andrew Santino?

  By the way, too, coming to see you at SNL. You have, to this day, the funniest headshot photo on the wall at SNL. It's the most un-Brooks.

• 37:41Speaker 07

  No, it sucked.

• 37:42Andrew Santino?

  It's such a shitty, look at this shitty photo you.

• 37:44Speaker 07

  It sucked.

• 37:45Andrew Santino?

  Because you're a handsome, good-looking dude.

• 37:46Speaker 07

  No, but they like.

• 37:47Andrew Santino?

  No, you're a cute boy.

• 37:48Speaker 07

  They like airbrushed me, man.

• 37:49Andrew Santino?

  It looked so dumb.

• 37:50Speaker 07

  It looked like.

• 37:50Andrew Santino?

  Whenever I walked by it, I was always like, "That's not Brooks. I know Brooks."

• 37:53Speaker 07

  I, dude, seriously, when I, so the first time I ever saw it was the first episode of SNL, where they showed, you know. You always like, I think of like, you know, Sandler and Farley, when they would be like, "Where's Farley?" And he's like drinking at a bar. And I was like, "That's so cool." You know, it's like a little bit who you are. And then for me, it was just a still shot of like, a men's warehouse.

• 38:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. It looks like a Joseph A. Bank commercial.

• 38:20Speaker 07

  So, so straight up, so when they were like, I was with Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney. We were in our dressing room and they're like, they're like, "Here's the first episode." We hadn't seen this. We, you know, we never, the guy's yelling our name. And we're like, "Oh, cool. Let's watch. Let's watch." And they were like, "Cool, cool." And then I saw mine, I go, "Fuck!" Take it down. That looks really bad. Cause I remember just pointing at it being like, who thinks that guy's funny? That's not a funny guy.

• 38:43Andrew Santino?

  Well, it just doesn't look like you. It's a funny thing when the business tries to like, package what they already have. They're like, you already proved yourself. And then they try to do something with it and you're like, just show me the way I am.

• 38:51Speaker 07

  I remember, so I was 26 when I got it. And I remember in, when they were doing those photo shoots, they like, they were like, this is the new Jason Sudeikis. Cause he had just left.

• 39:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh, right.

• 39:02Speaker 07

  And I'm like, that guy's like 35, man. Like, however you want. I'm like, I'm a 26 year old, very nervous guy. Yeah. I'm like, I don't have like, the dad of the group energy right now.

• 39:15Andrew Santino?

  The dad of the group, no.

• 39:16Speaker 07

  Yeah. They were like, you should be like.

• 39:17Andrew Santino?

  You had the beaten stepson.

• 39:18Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. But you were.

• 39:20Speaker 07

  Let me panic in a wall.

• 39:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Whenever I hear a story, by the way, about uh, about like brothers and families fighting, especially because like Bobby always tells stories about his dad and stuff. I always think of you and your fucking brothers and like the nonsense of your world.

• 39:33Speaker 07

  They're crazy. Uh, they're good. They're good now.

• 39:36Andrew Santino?

  How are they? Everything's okay?

• 39:37Speaker 07

  Yeah. My mom, I was just home recently. I was just home.

• 39:41Andrew Santino?

  Cause your nephews are how old?

• 39:42Speaker 07

  They're, so my nephews are exactly the same spaced out as me and my brothers. They're like, I don't know, 15, 13 and nine. And uh, we, my grandmother passed away in uh, November. So I went home and I was with them. It's okay.

• 39:55Andrew Santino?

  So let's clap for a second for his grandmother. She's gone.

• 39:57Speaker 07

  Shout out to Shirley.

• 39:57Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to Shirley.

• 39:58Speaker 07

  Yeah. Um, so we're, we drive from Des Moines to Clinton. And they're really cool. They're really nice in the back because they're just like, you know, on their iPads and shit.

• 40:08Andrew Santino?

  I was just gonna say, they're not, they're in digital world.

• 40:09Speaker 07

  Right. And then my mom was like, they fight a little bit. I'm like, not like us. And she was like, you didn't fight. And I was like, there was a game we played in the backseat where the, the seat buckle was a snake and it bit knees.

• 40:25Speaker 07

  Like if you fell asleep, the snake bit your knee.

• 40:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you got a snake bite.

• 40:29Speaker 07

  It's just the meanest jab your knee with a seat buckle. And she was like, it was fun. I'm like, it wasn't fun.

• 40:35Andrew Santino?

  No, it's terror.

• 40:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 40:37Andrew Santino?

  That's so much, that's just all this. Why do you think I'm like this now? Cause of the snake bites in the back of the Oldsmobile.

• 40:42Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 40:43Andrew Santino?

  Or did you ever get to do the turn the lights off? And run at each other. Do you know this game?

• 40:47Speaker 07

  No.

• 40:48Andrew Santino?

  Dude, we used to turn the lights off at my buddy Castella's house. We had friends who were like Josh and And we turned the lights off. The game was really with pillows to like swing and hit.

• 40:56Speaker 07

  Right.

• 40:57Andrew Santino?

  But it turned into like a fight. It was like somebody would get elbowed. It was never like a It was never like a sweet like, oh, you got smoked with a pillow. It was like, oh, you got forearmed and your tooth pushed into your

• 41:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:06Andrew Santino?

  And now you're bleeding and then someone's freaking out and then the mom is like, I fucking told you. Yeah, it never was calm.

• 41:12Speaker 07

  I remember.

• 41:13Andrew Santino?

  It was never chill.

• 41:14Speaker 07

  We had a pillow fight. And it was a big pillow fight. And then somebody goes, what the fuck? And my friend Mark had put a clock in his pillowcase.

• 41:22Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit, Mark.

• 41:23Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:24Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck?

• 41:25Speaker 07

  Swing around like a clock.

• 41:27Andrew Santino?

  He's a hardened criminal. Mark is destined for prison. He's putting clocks in the pillowcase.

• 41:32Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:33Andrew Santino?

  He's like, I know it'll fuck these kids up.

• 41:34Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 41:34Andrew Santino?

  Where's Mark now? Do you know?

• 41:36Speaker 07

  I think he's dead.

• 41:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Mark died. Let's give it up for Mark. Mark's also dead. Shout out to Mark, dude. God rest his head.

• 41:42Speaker 07

  And you genuinely do think he's dead?

• 41:43Andrew Santino?

  By the way, probably.

• 41:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:45Andrew Santino?

  By the way, your grandmother just died now?

• 41:47Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:47Andrew Santino?

  At what, 90?

• 41:48Speaker 07

  91.

• 41:49Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 41:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:50Andrew Santino?

  We got 93 out of ours. That was incredible to me.

• 41:52Speaker 07

  Yeah, she crushed it.

• 41:53Andrew Santino?

  But did she get, was she, um, see, this is what I'm always fascinated with people that break the 90 mark. Was she like health conscious her life or no?

• 42:01Speaker 07

  No.

• 42:01Andrew Santino?

  See, isn't that crazy?

• 42:02Speaker 07

  She was just ripping cigs.

• 42:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's not, see, I don't know. One 90 story of any of my friends whose grandparents lived past 90, not one of them was like, Yeah, they were in pretty good shape. Like she really took care of herself.

• 42:11Speaker 07

  She was in good shape.

• 42:12Andrew Santino?

  Amazing. No, well, physically, not on the inside.

• 42:16Speaker 07

  I don't.

• 42:16Andrew Santino?

  She was probably tiny, but she didn't, she was like, she didn't have like a diet of like, oh yeah, she only eats.

• 42:21Speaker 07

  No, but I'm just saying like you wouldn't, at no point in my life was ever like, my grandma's unhealthy. I was always like, this lady rips cigs and is the chillest woman I've ever met.

• 42:29Andrew Santino?

  Super unhealthy, yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 07

  We would go, we, she was rad. She, when I was in college, she'd send me $50 every Monday and it was. Crazy.

• 42:36Andrew Santino?

  That's how you buy your first car, baby.

• 42:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, it was awesome.

• 42:39Andrew Santino?

  It's impressive.

• 42:39Speaker 07

  So I would live off fifty dollars and then once a month I'd go, I'd drive over and her and I would go gambling at the Clinton Riverboat.

• 42:46Andrew Santino?

  Damn, she was the shit.

• 42:47Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 42:48Andrew Santino?

  Ripping cigs on the Clinton River. What kind of cigarettes, by the way?

• 42:51Speaker 07

  I don't remember, but I remember she was like, I was like, you know, when you're nineteen, you're really like, I'm like, I'm doing stand up.

• 42:57Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 42:57Speaker 07

  Like she like told the casino or some, at some luncheon.

• 43:00Andrew Santino?

  Love this.

• 43:01Speaker 07

  And she was like, I got you a gig. So I did stand up.

• 43:05Andrew Santino?

  What, seriously?

• 43:06Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 43:06Andrew Santino?

  Damn, man.

• 43:07Speaker 07

  Yeah, three months in where you think you have an hour.

• 43:10Andrew Santino?

  Would you have four, three?

• 43:12Speaker 07

  I had zero minutes.

• 43:13Andrew Santino?

  You had no time?

• 43:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, but I did it thirty minutes.

• 43:15Andrew Santino?

  No, you had time when we were young.

• 43:16Speaker 07

  Of course, of course.

• 43:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I remember.

• 43:18Speaker 07

  But like nineteen, I was at, that's how delusional I was. I was like, I can, I can crush a casino luncheon.

• 43:26Andrew Santino?

  A midday luncheon?

• 43:27Speaker 07

  In front of my grandma?

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 43:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  And you stayed, did you stay squeaky clean? You stayed clean?

• 43:32Speaker 07

  No, I didn't, I never stayed clean for, in front of my family. I was always like, whatever, they'll hear it eventually.

• 43:36Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 43:36Speaker 07

  But then the worst part was bombed and then had the lunch with everybody.

• 43:44Andrew Santino?

  The pain of having to eat after you eat shit.

• 43:46Speaker 07

  But I was so dumb at the time. I was like, ah, it's tough crowd, it's all good.

• 43:51Andrew Santino?

  Hey, Dolores, the peas, please?

• 43:52Speaker 07

  Cause I think that's like, when you start stand up, you have to be like rational, but also hyper delusional.

• 43:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 07

  Like it's a real sliver.

• 44:00Andrew Santino?

  The, the thin line between like, uh, drive and complete and utter delusion.

• 44:07Speaker 07

  Delusion.

• 44:08Andrew Santino?

  It's, they're right next to each other.

• 44:09Speaker 07

  Very close.

• 44:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's super close. Dude, I bombed at a, uh, I did a, um, Sons of Italy or whatever it was, like the Italian festival down in Hawthorne.

• 44:18Speaker 07

  Sons of Italy?

• 44:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Hawthorne. I know. It was an Italian festival.

• 44:22Speaker 07

  Sounds super right wing.

• 44:24Andrew Santino?

  It was. It was. Yeah, to iron my hood and everything.

• 44:27Speaker 07

  This is like what the mob puts on.

• 44:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the Sons of Italy?

• 44:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:30Andrew Santino?

  No, it was the Italian Heritage Festival. And, uh, it was in Hawthorne, um, and, uh, my friend Mish, her, her dad was the, uh, mayor.

• 44:41Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 44:41Andrew Santino?

  And she had been like, my buddy's new to stand up. You gotta let him try, right?

• 44:46Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 44:47Andrew Santino?

  So I wrote and wrote and wrote and like, I wrote all Italian stuff about my Italians out of my family and I'm, this is like two years in, three years in.

• 44:53Speaker 07

  Remember when you used to write?

• 44:54Andrew Santino?

  In the book.

• 44:55Speaker 07

  I don't, I just do it on stage now.

• 44:57Andrew Santino?

  Well, I do it, but then I do it on my phone app. It's funny. This is it now. This, it's no longer the, remember all the notebooks? We had thousands of them.

• 45:02Speaker 07

  I still do notebooks because I, I, it makes me feel good.

• 45:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but it's not real.

• 45:06Speaker 07

  No, I do it in the phone.

• 45:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I do it in the phone. Yeah, it's bullshit.

• 45:09Speaker 07

  Okay, but go ahead.

• 45:10Andrew Santino?

  No, it's just I wrote in this stupid bu- book and I'm writing like a lot of material about my Italian side of my family and I'm thinking like, this is really gonna hit. Like, this is gonna connect. And it was also clean, because they're like, gotta stay clean. So I get up there and, uh, immediately.

• 45:22Speaker 07

  Clean Italian heritage?

• 45:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude. Immediately, and I'm two years in. Immediately, just unbearable buckets of shit. I mean, like, and I'm falling apart in a way where I can't believe I'm doing so bad. People are kind of annoyed. Like, they don't like it, they're mad.

• 45:37Speaker 07

  Right.

• 45:37Andrew Santino?

  And it's just like this. I get off and I'm sitting and eating with her and her family. And this is kind of a glorious story, but I'm feeling like shit. And I'm having people come up and be like, "Yeah, yeah, what are you, yeah, that's, you keep doing, you do, you do stand-up." And I'm like, "Yep, yep, yep, yep, I'm gonna keep trying." And then I hear this voice that's like, "Oh, it's alright, kid. You, you know what? You, you, they, they, you know, that's not, this isn't for them." And I'm like, "Oh, thanks, man." And I turn and it was, uh, Uncle Frank, Jimmy Kimmel's now passed away uncle. Frank Patenza, I think his last name was. This is a crazy story. And Frank was kind of chumming me up and being really sweet to me and was like, you know, "Jimmy would like you. You, you, he, he likes comics." And this is not for the, this is not for these people. Like, he was being so nice to me.

• 46:19Speaker 07

  That's so kind.

• 46:20Andrew Santino?

  Dude, it was unbelievable. And he goes, "This isn't what they would want. You, this, you're not, this is like, th- th- th- these guys are all stiffs and it's, that, and and he goes, "Uh, you, you, you wanna meet Jimmy?" And I was like, "Oh, I mean, yeah," you know. And he goes, "I'll leave you tickets to come see the show."

• 46:31Speaker 07

  That's awesome.

• 46:32Andrew Santino?

  And he did. He left me tickets to come see the show. And then we got to the VIP area of Kimmel and I was, kept saying, "I'm on Frank Patenza's list." I, Frank Patenza's list. And they were all like, "I don't think so. I don't, I don't see anything. We'll go ask." They go ask. He comes out. And he's like, "Hey, hey, come on, let's go."

• 46:48Speaker 07

  That's awesome.

• 46:49Andrew Santino?

  Dude, it was, he was like this, "Rest in peace, by the way. Give it up for Frank, he's gone too." But that thing saved my life, because I remember feeling like I should quit. This was like, what am I doing? This isn't for me. If, I felt like that's what the world of stand-up was going to be, like, "You gotta be able to do these crowds."

• 47:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, you don't have to be able to do this.

• 47:05Andrew Santino?

  No, you don't. But when you're young, you think you might have to.

• 47:07Speaker 07

  Do you remember the John Lovitz Comedy Club at the Universal CityWalk?

• 47:10Andrew Santino?

  Please, the worst club in the history of comedy clubs?

• 47:12Speaker 07

  Andy Kindler had the best joke about it. He goes, "It's not just the worst comedy club ever built, it's the worst building."

• 47:19Andrew Santino?

  Dude, it was like a four story. It was straight up, you looked straight down, it was all, and, and by the way, the underhang overtook the crowd so much, only the first three rows had like light, it was insane.

• 47:30Speaker 07

  It was awful.

• 47:32Andrew Santino?

  It was terrible.

• 47:32Speaker 07

  Truly awful.

• 47:33Andrew Santino?

  Terrible.

• 47:33Speaker 07

  And Emily LaFord was booking it, who now books the store.

• 47:36Andrew Santino?

  She was, right.

• 47:36Speaker 07

  And I was freaking out because I was gonna audition for Saturday Night Live the next day, and I was, I found out like that day, and it was, she was the only person I knew to text me like, can I go up tonight, I'm gonna do audition for SNL tomorrow? She was like, yeah. I bombed so fucking hard. Like, and with stupid being like, I'm auditioning for Saturday Night Live tomorrow, here's my five minutes that I'm gonna do. And it bombed so hard, and what, the, I do like, respect myself for this, at the end of it, I go, imagine if you see me on that show.

• 48:07Andrew Santino?

  So good.

• 48:08Speaker 07

  Can you imagine in two months if I'm on that show?

• 48:11Andrew Santino?

  And you, with this?

• 48:14Speaker 07

  It went so bad.

• 48:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because that, but it wasn't you, that was, that place was-

• 48:17Speaker 07

  No, it wasn't me at all, it did the next day, it went really good.

• 48:20Andrew Santino?

  And you got the show. That place sucked so much for people that don't, don't, it was Universal Studios.

• 48:25Speaker 07

  It's in between like a bubba gum shrimp and a fucking-

• 48:27Andrew Santino?

  It's above a bubba gum shrimp. And next to, it is, it's like next to, it's like literally above a bubba gum shrimp, and it was right next to a, um, what is it, why can't I think of the name?

• 48:36Speaker 07

  Like a Howling Wolf?

• 48:36Andrew Santino?

  Yes, exactly, a piano bar, that's exactly right. The Howling Wolf. And it was in Universal Studios, uh, all tourists, no locals, and by the way, not that that matters, but no one who lives here knows that, that that was there. So like, it wasn't like anybody from LA knew it existed.

• 48:52Speaker 07

  It was awful, it was awful. Also, the next year, you got close to getting SNL.

• 48:55Andrew Santino?

  I tested for SNL, yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, I remember at my birthday, Brian Tucker, who was the head writer there, asked me about you.

• 49:00Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 07

  Because you had just tested, and I was like, he's a good dude.

• 49:02Andrew Santino?

  Wild world.

• 49:03Speaker 07

  And then they gave it to Peedy.

• 49:04Andrew Santino?

  They gave it to Peedy.

• 49:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:06Andrew Santino?

  It was me, Soder, and one more person up for it. And, and then they gave it to Pete, well, Pete, well deserved, I've talked about that on the show, I always thought that was funny when Lauren was like, because what, I was 30 at the time, you were 20?

• 49:17Speaker 07

  I was 27.

• 49:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 07

  It was, would have been my 28th birthday.

• 49:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was 30.

• 49:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:21Andrew Santino?

  And I remember Lauren flew me back to New York, after flying me to LA after I already auditioned, and I thought, oh, they fly me back? It was pretty good.

• 49:28Speaker 07

  That's fucking-

• 49:29Andrew Santino?

  And they flew me back, and I was like, what's going on? And he's like, you're not the puzzle piece I'm looking for.

• 49:33Speaker 07

  What? He had a meeting to tell you you're not on?

• 49:35Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, I thought I told you that.

• 49:36Speaker 07

  No.

• 49:37Andrew Santino?

  And I went back to go, they're like, go have, Lauren, Lauren wants to like, have a meeting with you. It was supposed to be like a lunch or something.

• 49:42Speaker 07

  Such a crazy move.

• 49:43Andrew Santino?

  It was hilarious though. In retrospect, I actually thought it was kinda tight cuz it was like.

• 49:47Speaker 07

  No, it's really, it's like actually nice, but I'm like, if you're going to have a meeting with the dude, you think it's probably good news.

• 49:53Andrew Santino?

  For sure. Also, it would have been, just keep me in New York. It was like three more days or whatever. It was wild.

• 49:58Speaker 07

  So when I, oh, keep going though.

• 49:59Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no. I just, but it was, it was, uh, when he said I wasn't the puzzle piece that they were looking for, and then I knew Sodhi didn't get it, um, I was like, man, what the fuck? Who'd they, who'd they pick over? Cuz I thought.

• 50:10Speaker 07

  And we'd known Pete, we did Montreal with Pete. We've, we did all the things together. We did Montreal together.

• 50:15Andrew Santino?

  Half hour.

• 50:16Speaker 07

  Half hour together. Adam Devine's house party?

• 50:18Andrew Santino?

  House party, that's right. When I, when I heard it wasn't Soder, I thought, if it wasn't me, it's gonna be Dan.

• 50:22Speaker 07

  Right.

• 50:22Andrew Santino?

  I didn't know Pete was in the running. They had, no one had told me.

• 50:25Speaker 07

  Meanwhile, one of your super close friends is, I, I told Colin Joseph the other day, uh, I was like, he's like, how was it after you got fired or something? I was like, I like had a gun and I didn't know if it was for me or someone else. I was not handling this.

• 50:39Andrew Santino?

  That's so accurate, dude.

• 50:40Speaker 07

  Yeah, I was just like in a basement being like, you, me, you.

• 50:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you broke, you broke.

• 50:47Speaker 07

  It was, it was awful.

• 50:49Andrew Santino?

  You had a fracture.

• 50:49Speaker 07

  So, and then, and then like, you know, then there's the, oh, Pete, Pete and Andrew and Soder are testing for my job. Okay. You know, like a little shaky.

• 51:00Andrew Santino?

  I remember being like, dude, I think I'm gonna test for SNL. And you're like, really? Cool. That's cool.

• 51:05Speaker 07

  I think I said, I'm not the guy to talk to about this.

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm not the guy to talk to about this. I, uh, I'm holding on for dear life.

• 51:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 51:11Andrew Santino?

  Now, but you, your, your, what it did for you was, made you a way stronger comic.

• 51:16Speaker 07

  Way stronger. Going to New York, living in New York for two years makes you way stronger.

• 51:19Andrew Santino?

  Way stronger comic.

• 51:19Speaker 07

  Um, but, but yeah, no, I don't even know what we were talking about besides, yeah, that was, you got close. I remember.

• 51:25Andrew Santino?

  We did, I sniffed it.

• 51:25Speaker 07

  Tucker was asking about you at the, at my birthday and I was like, yeah, he's good.

• 51:29Andrew Santino?

  You're like, I don't wanna talk about it, man.

• 51:30Speaker 07

  I don't wanna talk about it. It was like a week after I got fired.

• 51:32Andrew Santino?

  Well, cuz it's hard with, with that show. That, that is the weirdest part about that.

• 51:35Speaker 07

  Also, we was, I was 28, you know, like, in that moment, it was very. Hard and difficult.

• 51:42Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 51:43Speaker 07

  To then see Pete, like, you know, get to do thirty updates his first season. I'm like, what the frickin' heck?

• 51:49Andrew Santino?

  That's not what he said.

• 51:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 51:51Andrew Santino?

  What the frickin' heck, dude?

• 51:52Speaker 07

  What the frick, dude?

• 51:53Andrew Santino?

  What the farge?

• 51:54Speaker 07

  He let me do two.

• 51:55Andrew Santino?

  I think the wildest part was me going back. I went back to SNL and Drake was the musical guest. And I was, I had a few on the floor and I went out to go watch Drake on the floor. And Lauren walked up next to me and I didn't really know it was him. And we stood there for a good couple of minutes. And I turned and he turned to me and he goes, oh, it's great to see you.

• 52:14Speaker 07

  Oh, that's nice.

• 52:15Andrew Santino?

  I was like, it's great to see you. He's like, you're doing well. I was like, pretty good.

• 52:18Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 52:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was kinda nice. It was like a, it was like a weird time leap where I was like, hey, yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 07

  Dude, he is just like, you wanna be mad at him, but then when you talk to him, he, you're like, that was cool.

• 52:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no dude, I, I, I mean, I never worked with him before, so I like him.

• 52:32Speaker 07

  Like, the last time I talked to him, talked to him, I went and sat down with him at like a after-party. And he was like, why aren't you working more? You know? And I was like, buddy, you fired me.

• 52:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude. Yeah, what did you want me to do? Why are you working more is hilarious.

• 52:47Speaker 07

  You should be working more. I was like, okay, it was up to you.

• 52:50Andrew Santino?

  I'll get right on it.

• 52:51Speaker 07

  Do you produce comedy?

• 52:53Andrew Santino?

  They in fact do, by the way.

• 52:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, for the fifteenth, so the fifteenth is coming up and I was like, ah, do I go?

• 53:00Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 53:01Speaker 07

  But my friend won the lottery to do a three-week camping trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon.

• 53:08Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 53:23Speaker 07

  And I was like-

• 53:23Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean one, I don't understand.

• 53:24Speaker 07

  So you have to put in to get these, a permit.

• 53:27Andrew Santino?

  So you can't just, you can't just buy the tickets?

• 53:28Speaker 07

  No, he got a permit drawn. And that's all of February. And I was like, I think that's gonna be better for my brain than going back to SNL.

• 53:37Andrew Santino?

  I agree, but also it would be cool to go back.

• 53:39Speaker 07

  Of course, I would go if I wasn't going on this camping trip.

• 53:41Andrew Santino?

  Two week floating down-

• 53:42Speaker 07

  Three week.

• 53:42Andrew Santino?

  Three week down the Colorado River.

• 53:43Speaker 07

  Down the Colorado River.

• 53:44Andrew Santino?

  Wow. What city do you start in?

• 53:46Speaker 07

  Lee's Ferry.

• 53:47Andrew Santino?

  Lee's Ferry?

• 53:47Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:48Andrew Santino?

  And where do you stop?

• 53:48Speaker 07

  Put in there, like, right before the Hoover Dam. It's like, uh- Lake Mead.

• 53:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 53:54Speaker 07

  I don't know.

• 53:54Andrew Santino?

  Whoa.

• 53:55Speaker 07

  But I'm like, I'm not a, I don't, I don't have like, I used to be really mad at SNL, clearly.

• 54:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 07

  Uh, and now I'm like, nah, it's cool. It was a cool thing, but um.

• 54:04Andrew Santino?

  Cause it is, you've moved on so much.

• 54:05Speaker 07

  Yeah, but I also, I was like, oh, that'd be fun. And then I was like, but I think this is more fun.

• 54:09Andrew Santino?

  Way more rad.

• 54:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:10Andrew Santino?

  Who you, how many dudes are you going with?

• 54:11Speaker 07

  Four skate pals that I have.

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  Guys that I know? No guys, no guys that I know?

• 54:16Speaker 07

  No guys, you know.

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  Not like Wit or those guys?

• 54:17Speaker 07

  Uh, I met him through Whitmer and Tim Robinson.

• 54:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you did?

• 54:20Speaker 07

  They were like skate pals of theirs.

• 54:21Andrew Santino?

  Are they professional skaters?

• 54:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:22Andrew Santino?

  They are. You don't wanna say their name because you're afraid. I get it, dude.

• 54:25Speaker 07

  No.

• 54:26Andrew Santino?

  I'll name them. I know who they are.

• 54:27Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 54:27Andrew Santino?

  Jamie Thomas. Um, hold on. Artosari and.

• 54:33Speaker 07

  I mean, I don't know him though.

• 54:34Andrew Santino?

  Hold on dude.

• 54:34Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 54:34Andrew Santino?

  I'm not done. And, uh, Daywon Song.

• 54:39Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm. And Christian Hesoy.

• 54:41Andrew Santino?

  Hesoy's gonna be there!

• 54:42Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:43Andrew Santino?

  Daywon Song was one of my favorite skaters of all time, by the way. Watching his videos, watching his videos, I remember thinking, how can not, you know, it's very stonery when you're like, how does not everyone think this is the greatest thing that's ever happened on planet earth? And you show it to someone who doesn't care about skateboarding, they're like, so what? You're like, what are you talking about?

• 54:59Speaker 07

  When you were living in the Midwest.

• 55:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 55:01Speaker 07

  Would you watch surf videos?

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  Skate videos?

• 55:03Speaker 07

  No, I would watch surf.

• 55:04Andrew Santino?

  No, I never.

• 55:05Speaker 07

  I was lasered on surf videos. I was obsessed with surf videos.

• 55:08Andrew Santino?

  Skate videos only. I love, I was obsessed, I, I could name you all the skate, the, the DVDs are still in a box in our closet of all my old skate videos that I loved. Like all the four-on-ones. Dude, I, I fucking loved those. I watched them like grossly. That one time, Chris Cole, who, who's a skater who dates Whitney, one time him and I got in, we were chatting and he's like, how do you even know that? I was like, dude, I watched these, I don't know why I got, I'd re-watch parts for no reason, I got obsessed. Like, there were guys that, I, I think it's because it's such a difficult skill. When you see someone do it so good, it's, it's, I don't know, because you, if I, if you ever skateboarded, you know how hard it is?

• 55:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:43Andrew Santino?

  Then when you see it, you're like, do you guys not understand that this is fucking like magic? We're watching magic happen?

• 55:48Speaker 07

  I love, I'm not, I'm, I'm an A to B skater, I can get around.

• 55:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 07

  Like, one of the greatest compliments ever in front of some pro skater one time was like, Brooks is, Brooks alright. Cause like, but I can't, I'm like, I can't ollie or anything.

• 55:58Andrew Santino?

  But you can skate.

• 55:59Speaker 07

  I can skate.

• 56:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 56:00Speaker 07

  My favorite, like, the happiest ever was in my life, was in New York City. And I got really good at skating home from 30 Rock to my place in Alphabet City.

• 56:08Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:09Speaker 07

  And I would try to do this thing where I was like, how, like, it's a slight decline the whole way. It's like 50 blocks or more than that, because it was on like 6th and I was on D. But, uh, I was like, I got to the point where I only touched the ground three times on the, on this skateboard home, which is like, you know, like five miles.

• 56:23Andrew Santino?

  That's huge.

• 56:24Speaker 07

  Just going through traffic and I was like, that's the most fun I've ever had in my life.

• 56:29Andrew Santino?

  Three pushes is crazy.

• 56:30Speaker 07

  Three, three, just taps, like, because it was all slightly down, it was perfectly downhill.

• 56:34Andrew Santino?

  That is fucking amazing. That's your, that is, uh, that feeling is kinda like if you ski or snowboard.

• 56:40Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:41Andrew Santino?

  Is when you get off a lift and you don't get into any traffic and you cruise all the way down.

• 56:44Speaker 07

  I forgot how good you are at snowboarding.

• 56:46Andrew Santino?

  I'm not, I'm okay. I love it. I love it, dude. I love, when you don't hit any traffic, it's the great, you're like, I own the mountain.

• 56:52Speaker 07

  Did we snowboard once? No, or maybe we were just talking about, but maybe we snowboarded once.

• 56:56Andrew Santino?

  We did one time.

• 56:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, because you were like, I'm gonna put my headphones on and I'm gonna fucking see you later.

• 56:59Andrew Santino?

  See you later, yeah. I do that a lot.

• 57:01Speaker 07

  And I was like, okay, I'm gonna like, think about breaking my knees while I'm on these fucking ski.

• 57:04Andrew Santino?

  No, I get in my fucking zone.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 57:09Andrew Santino?

  This episode of Whiskey Junior is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is incredible. I know you've heard about it. I know you've heard me talk about it. But BetterHelp, uh, is so important to me. Getting therapy, getting help, um, it's so, it, it, I think it genuinely does, does really improve your life. I, I mean that. Uh, and let's talk Turkey, let's talk numbers. Traditional in-person therapy can cost anywhere from a hundred dollars to $250 per session. That adds up fast. That's a lot of money. But with BetterHelp online therapy, you save an average up to 50% per session. All right, with BetterHelp, the best part is you do it from the comfort of your own home. You know, it's fast, it's accessible, it's very easy, um, and you wanna break away from that anxiety and that's, and that stress.

• 57:48Andrew Santino?

  And BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists, the world's largest online therapy platform. It's, they've served over 5 million people globally. Um, I don't know what you're waiting for to talk about whatever issues you may have, but now is the time. You gotta get that done before it eats you up inside. All right, you don't wanna let it explode and it blow up at a barista for some reason because there was too much foam on your coffee and that's really because there's something going on inside of you. All right, you gotta get the help, uh, and it's convenient. Join a session with the click of a button. Helping you fit therapy into your busy life. You can switch therapists at any time. Uh, your well-being is worth it. All right, visit betterhelp.com/whiskey today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, better H E L P dot com slash whiskey. You ever woken up with a weird symptom, like a tingling in your foot or something like that, something's going on, something doesn't feel right? You need to go see a doctor.

• 58:32Andrew Santino?

  Don't waste, okay? Don't, don't waste your time and sit around being like, "Who cares? I'll figure it out." Then you're walking with a weird limp and you got a hump. You got a hump in your back and a limp, you know? You're not, you're not taking the time to care for yourself physically. You're gonna be in some trouble as time goes on, alright? You got that itchy eye from that weird pillow you slept in in that Airbnb in New Orleans? Go see a doctor. I move neighborhoods, I'm telling you, and I use Zocdoc. It helped me out so much finding a new doctor. It was so fast and easy and convenient. Zocdoc is a free app, if you don't know, and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Hundred thousand doctors are on there, okay? With, and we're talking in-network specialty too, whatever it is, podiatrists, phoniatrists,

• 59:15Andrew Santino?

  philanthropists are not on there, but all the istitists that you need to help whatever you got going on. Appointments made through Zocdoc can happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking, that's so quick. You can even score same-day appointments if you're lucky. And you can filter for doctors who take your insurance, that's the best part. I know insurance is tough these days, but you can find someone locally nearby who's a good fit for you and you can trust that the reviews are from real patients. So that's something that you really want when you're looking for somebody new, to trust with your, you know, your health in their hands. So stop putting those doctor's appointments off and go to zocdoc.com/whiskey to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's zocdoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash whiskey.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  Zocdoc dot com slash whiskey.

• 1:00:01Speaker 07

  Coolest you've ever felt, okay? Coolest you've ever felt like going to work? Like, for me, it was straight up, going to do a weekend update, putting on my head, putting on my Beats by Dre.

• 1:00:11Andrew Santino?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 07

  Skateboarding in New York, like, at 11:00 in the morning, skating to 30 Rock, being like, "I'm fucking going to do update today." Like, it was really cool.

• 1:00:19Andrew Santino?

  That is so cool.

• 1:00:19Speaker 07

  It was a genuinely cool, like, I would never make fun of me for thinking that was cool, because it was cool in the moment.

• 1:00:24Andrew Santino?

  So rad.

• 1:00:24Speaker 07

  What about you?

• 1:00:25Andrew Santino?

  Uh, God, what's my coolest work moment? Probably like, um... Uh, probably like calling my parents when I did, uh, Curb. Uh, because I was so excited to work with Larry that I thought that was like the coolest day on earth. That I was like, because my parents didn't really get it, but they were excited for me. I was like, you guys don't get it.

• 1:00:43Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:00:44Andrew Santino?

  Because they were like, you've been on TV and you're like, no, this is not.

• 1:00:47Speaker 07

  I remember when you were on the first Arrested Development, the reboot of Arrested Development. I thought that was so sad.

• 1:00:52Andrew Santino?

  That was rad too. I was beyond nervous. Bateman was very nice to me, very, very nice to me. Because I was just, I remember thinking, if I improv and it doesn't go well.

• 1:01:01Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:01:02Andrew Santino?

  They will send me back to Chicago.

• 1:01:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Andrew Santino?

  Like I was like, they'll, they'll be like, you know, you're fired from Hollywood, not just the show. Like being, he was so nice because I tried a few things and he kind of would, he did like a very Bateman like smirk, like he liked it. But I was careful, like the way you try stuff, you know what I mean?

• 1:01:19Speaker 07

  Yeah, of course. Also, you're new, when you, when you do just a guest on a show, like they have such a connection. They're, they've been together for years and then you come in and they're like, who's fucking, who's Tony over here?

• 1:01:30Andrew Santino?

  Fucking out of town hardhat over here, thinks he knows what he's fucking doing.

• 1:01:33Speaker 07

  He's gonna come in and try to steal the show?

• 1:01:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No, drive into, the reverse of that would be also the, when I, when I auditioned for Larry and I made him laugh and it made him break in the, in the read.

• 1:01:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Andrew Santino?

  That kind of, I did, I did have a moment of like, this is the greatest feeling on planet earth. I'm actually funny, like Larry laughed in, because he did the Larry laugh, you know, you've seen the ah, ah, ah, like that thing? That you're like, oh, he's really laughing.

• 1:01:57Speaker 07

  That's awesome.

• 1:01:57Andrew Santino?

  He's not doing like a fucking phony, yeah, that was kind of my fit, my shining moment.

• 1:02:03Speaker 07

  I mean, but it's, but these are the moments that happen when you're little and then you're like, yeah, this, it's like how I think Gladiator is the best movie I've ever seen. Because I saw it when I was in seventh grade. I'll just never have a better Gladiator, I'll never have a better movie going experience than seeing Gladiator in seventh grade with my older brother. Like I was just like, this is the best movie ever. And like, I will never like a movie as much as I liked Gladiator.

• 1:02:23Andrew Santino?

  No, that's so true. That's so funny. Like Batman in the theater to me, I was like, uh, Bat, well, now there's a billion Batmans. But it's like, I remember seeing Batman being like, okay, coolest thing that's ever happened of all time. And now if I go see a movie, I'm like, it was pretty good.

• 1:02:37Speaker 07

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:02:37Andrew Santino?

  Everything's pretty good. You're like, yeah, it's pretty good.

• 1:02:39Speaker 07

  Uh, my, I was trying to, I just wrote this down, I don't know if there's a joke here, but my dad fell asleep taking us to see Jurassic Park in 1993.

• 1:02:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Speaker 07

  And he still claims it's because it's boring.

• 1:02:52Speaker 07

  He won't be like, no, I was just tired. I was a dad and I was.

• 1:02:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it wasn't good.

• 1:02:55Speaker 07

  He's like, nah, it's a boring movie. I'm like, Jurassic Park's boring, Jim?

• 1:02:58Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, whoa, did you like the dinosaurs that impressed you?

• 1:03:01Speaker 07

  And it was, and it was, that's the first time they ever did the dinosaurs like that.

• 1:03:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but also first time anything ever looked anything like that.

• 1:03:07Speaker 07

  It was incredible. And he's like, nah, it's not for me.

• 1:03:10Andrew Santino?

  It's like when your dad first saw Star Wars, he was like, I don't know, space, kinda gay. You're like, what, what? This is crazy.

• 1:03:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:17Andrew Santino?

  That, I only fell asleep, I've only, uh, left or fallen asleep in one film. Uh, and it was, this is heartbreaking because I love both of these guys. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly's, um.

• 1:03:30Speaker 07

  Step brothers?

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  No, the Sherlock Holmes.

• 1:03:32Speaker 07

  Well, that's five.

• 1:03:33Andrew Santino?

  Dude, but it killed me because I thought both of these guys are the kings.

• 1:03:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Andrew Santino?

  And I literally was dozing off and I was like, like dozing off and I caught myself, I turned to my right, my dad, it was back home. My dad was kinda like looking down sad and my mom kept like turning to me and my sister being like, is this bad? And I was like, it is kinda fucking bad. And they were like, we should leave. I was like, we have to go.

• 1:03:53Speaker 07

  I remember, okay, I was two, I was twice in my life. So I grew up in Manchester, Iowa, which is an hour from Cedar Rapids. And so if you want to see a movie, you had to go drive an hour.

• 1:04:02Andrew Santino?

  It's a big deal.

• 1:04:03Speaker 07

  Yes. And so two times, everyone would see a movie and I said, no, no, no, I want to see this movie. And I went and watched a different movie alone.

• 1:04:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:12Speaker 07

  Uh, the first one was, everyone would see Forrest Gump in my family. I said, no, baby's day out.

• 1:04:20Speaker 07

  I prefer baby's day.

• 1:04:21Andrew Santino?

  Baby's Day Out. Skip the Gump.

• 1:04:23Speaker 07

  Over Forrest Gump.

• 1:04:24Andrew Santino?

  Give me Baby's Day Out.

• 1:04:25Speaker 07

  Uh, the runtime difference is pretty dramatic.

• 1:04:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Forrest Gump is like five hours long.

• 1:04:29Speaker 07

  Baby's Day Out, cool, eighty-one minutes.

• 1:04:31Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna watch it three times?

• 1:04:33Speaker 07

  So I just was in the lobby for like two hours after Baby's Day Out. Just kinda being seven or whatever. I thought it was pretty good.

• 1:04:42Andrew Santino?

  Did you do that more than once or that was the one time?

• 1:04:43Speaker 07

  So, so, but then a different time this happened where, but it wasn't with my, cause my family came up, they're like, Forrest Gump's incredible. I'm like, you didn't even see Baby's Day Out.

• 1:04:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you think that's good?

• 1:04:51Speaker 07

  You think that's good? Wait till you see, it's gonna stand the test of time.

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  Oscar, it'll win an Oscar.

• 1:04:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, the baby, for sure. The other time, my friend's mom drove us, it was like nine of my friends and I would have been in like sixth grade. Uh, van, we all go down, they're all gonna see the Blair Witch Project and I knew it would be scary. And I did not want to see it. I was like, that's gonna, that's not like, I will take being called lame. Over not sleeping for a year.

• 1:05:20Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:05:21Speaker 07

  So, everybody was saw Blair Witch. I went and saw Bowfinger.

• 1:05:27Andrew Santino?

  Dude, the juxtaposition of these movies is amazing.

• 1:05:29Speaker 07

  I was a sixth grader watching Bowfinger being like, this is pretty good.

• 1:05:34Andrew Santino?

  I'm not gonna get scared. I'm gonna go watch Bowfinger, baby.

• 1:05:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:38Andrew Santino?

  Wait, can I say something about, cause I see your tattoo seeking up your sleeve?

• 1:05:41Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:42Andrew Santino?

  You have a joke about it. You've talked about it, but you texted me the other day.

• 1:05:46Speaker 07

  Yes, a big fucking, a big get.

• 1:05:48Andrew Santino?

  Will you tell, will you tell?

• 1:05:49Speaker 07

  Big fucking get.

• 1:05:50Andrew Santino?

  You texted me and I was like, this is so rad.

• 1:05:52Speaker 07

  Well, because I texted people, cause I'm like, this is actually pretty crazy.

• 1:05:54Andrew Santino?

  It's so rad.

• 1:05:55Speaker 07

  Uh, Adam Devine hit me up and he goes, that's big.

• 1:05:58Andrew Santino?

  It's huge, dude. It's fucking huge.

• 1:06:00Speaker 07

  Uh, I was so, it's also about a movie. I saw that Bob Dylan movie and I loved it and I had the date.

• 1:06:06Andrew Santino?

  It was so good.

• 1:06:06Speaker 07

  It was good. It was fun. I rode a lot and I was like, I need to change it up. So,

• 1:06:09Andrew Santino?

  Fantastic.

• 1:06:10Speaker 07

  I went to Malibu. I just drove to Malibu, took my bike, took my skateboard, some, uh, notebooks. And I was like, I'm gonna read and write and bike around Malibu.

• 1:06:21Speaker 07

  Just have a day.

• 1:06:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:24Speaker 07

  Uh, it's like, you know, December 22nd or something. It was a Tuesday. I don't know, nothing. So I'm just like, go for a ride and then I'm on my bike.

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  Let's be honest. You don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 1:06:47Speaker 07

  It's Point Doom. It's a kind of a one-way street. At the end, so I hop on my bike. I'm riding out. And then another guy, it's not a busy day, is riding in. And so this tattoo, for people to know, is Anthony Kiedis' tribal tattoo.

• 1:07:02Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:07:02Speaker 07

  I got it in seven, in, when I was, uh, uh, 17. Red Hot Chili Peppers when I was 17 is my favorite band of all time. Of all, all time.

• 1:07:10Andrew Santino?

  Still one of your favorite bands of all time.

• 1:07:11Speaker 07

  Still enjoy them.

• 1:07:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:12Speaker 07

  Have dunked on them a lot on television.

• 1:07:14Andrew Santino?

  But it's fun.

• 1:07:15Speaker 07

  Because I-

• 1:07:16Andrew Santino?

  It's fun.

• 1:07:16Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:07:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Speaker 07

  Scarred my body over them.

• 1:07:18Andrew Santino?

  What I got, you gotta give it, put it in you, dude.

• 1:07:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:07:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:21Speaker 07

  So, I'm riding.

• 1:07:24Speaker 07

  And I I've seen him a couple of times and I I love it every time. And another guy's riding and we make, you know, you're riding. Eye contact, stop, stop. It was Anthony Kiedis. He's riding his mountain bike and I'm riding my bike and I was like. Like, no fucking way.

• 1:07:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:39Speaker 07

  So then I was like clock it like and he can tell that I clocked it, you know? He knows when a thirty eight year old guy loves.

• 1:07:45Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 1:07:46Speaker 07

  So he was like.

• 1:07:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:49Speaker 07

  So I go and like, I'm like, holy fucking shit. Anthony Kiedis in the wild.

• 1:07:55Andrew Santino?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:07:56Speaker 07

  Uh.

• 1:07:56Andrew Santino?

  In the bear, dude. Alone, by the way.

• 1:07:58Speaker 07

  Alone.

• 1:07:59Andrew Santino?

  How crazy that he's not even with anybody.

• 1:08:00Speaker 07

  Dude.

• 1:08:01Andrew Santino?

  Solo Kied.

• 1:08:02Speaker 07

  So then I was like, I know he has to turn around.

• 1:08:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:06Speaker 07

  Cause he's going to a dead end.

• 1:08:07Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:08:08Speaker 07

  So I act like my bike broke.

• 1:08:09Andrew Santino?

  Aw, damn. Damn, this chain, this chain again.

• 1:08:13Speaker 07

  Flip the bike up. Like pull my chain and fuck with the chain. Silhouette starts coming over the hill, baby.

• 1:08:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:08:20Speaker 07

  Yeah. Get that phone out.

• 1:08:21Andrew Santino?

  You hear that?

• 1:08:24Speaker 07

  Get the phone like straight up like he's right there. He can tell that I'm about to take a photo of him.

• 1:08:29Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:08:30Speaker 07

  He takes arms off, cross like crosses, like looks cool as fuck.

• 1:08:34Andrew Santino?

  For sure.

• 1:08:34Speaker 07

  I'll send you, I'll show you the.

• 1:08:35Andrew Santino?

  Send me the photo so we can show the audience.

• 1:08:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Andrew Santino?

  He's looking like you would think Anthony Kiedis would look on a mountain bike in Malibu.

• 1:08:41Speaker 07

  It's like, it's the only silhouette you'll ever see and be like, that is Anthony Kiedis. Uh, and then I proceeded to just like be the happiest guy I've ever.

• 1:08:50Andrew Santino?

  Panic for call like text me like.

• 1:08:52Speaker 07

  Look at that guy.

• 1:08:53Andrew Santino?

  It's the greatest.

• 1:08:54Speaker 07

  That's Anthony Kiedis.

• 1:08:55Andrew Santino?

  It's a hundred percent, it's unmistakable Kiedis.

• 1:08:57Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:08:57Andrew Santino?

  Text it to me so I can show the crowd.

• 1:08:58Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:08:59Andrew Santino?

  It is, it is one of those moments where, uh, when your childhood is enters your adulthood, you're. It, you wish you could talk to your little self and be like, dude, you fucking, how sick is this shit?

• 1:09:09Speaker 07

  I mean, a true, another thing happened too with another mutual friend of our Drew, Drew Tarver.

• 1:09:13Andrew Santino?

  I love Drew.

• 1:09:14Speaker 07

  So Drew Tarver got invited to the Red Hot Chili Peppers playing a benefit for the ocean in a backyard in Los Feliz.

• 1:09:20Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:09:20Speaker 07

  Uh, this is right before the pandemic. And he knows that I have this chili peppers tattoo and he was like, yo, do you want to go see? The Red Hot Chili Peppers play a benefit in the backyard in Los Feliz? I was living in Los Feliz, I was like, yeah, come over, we'll we grill them and have some beers and we'll walk up there. And then we walked to the house. The Red Hot Chili Peppers played.

• 1:09:37Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 1:09:38Speaker 07

  Um, and like ten minutes in, I started crying.

• 1:09:42Speaker 07

  And he's like, you're all right? I go. This is what I thought would happen when I moved here.

• 1:09:48Speaker 07

  You'd think when you're a dumb idiot from Iowa,

• 1:09:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:51Speaker 07

  you will move there and walk to a backyard party that the Chili Peppers are playing.

• 1:09:55Andrew Santino?

  You do.

• 1:09:56Speaker 07

  I was like, it's happened, man. It's fucking happened.

• 1:09:59Andrew Santino?

  It's pretty beautiful.

• 1:10:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:00Andrew Santino?

  Do you remember the song you cried at?

• 1:10:02Speaker 07

  Uh, I don't know. It was like parallel universes. I was just like an emotional situation.

• 1:10:07Andrew Santino?

  Sure. Yeah.

• 1:10:08Speaker 07

  I remember there's two bodyguards there, like two, like, um, that I also really liked hearing this, like two, like, security guards and big guys. And one guy was like, who's this band or whatever? And the other guy goes, they got that song, uh, um, City of Angels. Like he's just getting under the bridge wrong, uh, which is fine. He's like, City of Angels.

• 1:10:27Andrew Santino?

  Calling it City of Angels is so good.

• 1:10:29Speaker 07

  Angels? And the guy's like, I don't know City of Angels. And this big bodyguard goes, Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner. And I was like, I love this moment for you guys.

• 1:10:39Andrew Santino?

  You're like, is that City of Angels he's singing?

• 1:10:41Speaker 07

  Dude, and honestly, I thought about, I thought about this too. So I've run into Flea. Flea is hanging out in Los, in Los Feliz a lot. And I ran into, um, uh, Chad, uh, fuck, what's Chad's, the drummer's name? Anyway, I can't.

• 1:10:54Andrew Santino?

  I know. I want, I can see him.

• 1:10:55Speaker 07

  Chad Smith.

• 1:10:56Andrew Santino?

  Chad Smith. Tough last name to remember.

• 1:10:57Speaker 07

  Yeah. Uh, I was at the SNL after party. Chad Smith was there one time and Patrick, who's the drummer of the Black Keys came over. He knew they had this and he goes, is your tattoo glowing? Uh, I go, no, no, no. He's like, go meet him. I go, too nervous, too nervous. Uh.

• 1:11:10Andrew Santino?

  Is your tattoo glowing? It's such a great line.

• 1:11:12Speaker 07

  I dunked on him so hard on SNL. I felt so bad about it.

• 1:11:15Andrew Santino?

  They don't give a fuck.

• 1:11:16Speaker 07

  I know, but it's still.

• 1:11:17Andrew Santino?

  Those guys are so rad. What do they care?

• 1:11:18Speaker 07

  Sure. But I truly thought in my head, like, if there is at all a situation, the other day in Malibu, where Kedus is, you know, where we're just kind of in the same area, I am going to be like, I got your tattoo, man.

• 1:11:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you have to.

• 1:11:33Speaker 07

  But I was too, he was riding his bike. I didn't want to chase.

• 1:11:36Andrew Santino?

  It's going to present itself one more time and you must do it.

• 1:11:38Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:11:39Andrew Santino?

  Like you don't have a choice. You must do it. And I texted you. I was like, do you, were you showing it? Did you say it?

• 1:11:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:11:44Andrew Santino?

  You're like, I got a ring. I can't.

• 1:11:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:11:46Andrew Santino?

  But you have to, dude.

• 1:11:47Speaker 07

  Well, he was going this way and then I was like, I can't follow him.

• 1:11:50Andrew Santino?

  You go, excuse me. Check it out. Imagine him stopping me like, "What's up dude? No thank you."

• 1:11:57Speaker 07

  Yeah. No helmet, cool beanie.

• 1:12:00Andrew Santino?

  No helmet, little scary. By the way, Ketus, if you're listening, and you are, I know he is, please wear a helmet. Let's start wearing helmets.

• 1:12:05Speaker 07

  It was, but that was, okay, that's my favorite celebrity sighting I've ever had. I also have a different one, then I want to hear yours.

• 1:12:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, okay, go, yeah.

• 1:12:10Speaker 07

  My first celebrity sighting, so I have two great celebrity sightings. It was right when I moved here. I was at the Gelson's in Franklin Village.

• 1:12:17Andrew Santino?

  Got it.

• 1:12:18Speaker 07

  In front of me is Katy Perry and Russell Brand.

• 1:12:21Andrew Santino?

  Russell Brand.

• 1:12:22Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're married. And he ru- he leaves and he comes back.

• 1:12:26Andrew Santino?

  Fucking produced at the time where you were at?

• 1:12:28Speaker 07

  He comes back with two 12 packs of Diet Dr. Pepper. And he like puts them in their thing and she was like, "Take one back, you don't need two." And he goes, "I want two." And that was just such a real moment.

• 1:12:42Andrew Santino?

  Also, why is she so freaked out about two?

• 1:12:44Speaker 07

  Dude, when they got divorced like a year later, I was like, "I saw it coming."

• 1:12:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're finding out that grocery store.

• 1:12:51Andrew Santino?

  Let the guy have two.

• 1:12:52Speaker 07

  Let him have fucking two!

• 1:12:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what do you care? You're rich.

• 1:12:54Speaker 07

  He hasn't allegedly done anything awful yet.

• 1:12:58Andrew Santino?

  At that time.

• 1:12:58Speaker 07

  At that time, he's a movie star.

• 1:13:00Andrew Santino?

  At that time, he was fine.

• 1:13:01Speaker 07

  Favorite celebrity sighting for you? Cause it's gotta be in the wild. You can't just run into him like at work.

• 1:13:04Andrew Santino?

  You're right. No, different when you get older in the business, cause you, I've met a lot of people, but when I was young, I think I've said this on Bad Friends 2, my dad, we were at O'Hare Airport at baggage claim, and I was probably, gotta be 10 to 12, around that time. Where you're, where you're conscious enough to be embarrassed about your parents in public.

• 1:13:25Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:13:26Andrew Santino?

  Where like under 10, they can't really embarrass you that much, but above 10, you like start to think you might start to get cool.

• 1:13:32Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:13:32Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean? And, uh, uh, there, I see a guy across the, uh, across the fucking carousel, and I think it is who I think it is, and of course, my dad validates it, and he literally out loud goes, "Tom Selleck!" And waves and Tom Selleck like looks, Tom Selleck is in a moment of like, why would you do that? He just starts looking around like, why the fuck would you yell my fight? And he goes like this, like a dude, what, don't fucking do that. And then I was looking at my dad like, why would you yell at Tom Selleck? In my mind, I thought, he's gonna come beat the shit out of you, dude. Tom Selleck, by the way, I don't know if you know, Tom Selleck's a big boy.

• 1:14:08Speaker 07

  You got a big ol' mustache.

• 1:14:09Andrew Santino?

  He was, but he was a big dude. I don't know how tall he was, but I remember, I remember seeing him and going, are all celebrities huge? Cause he was probably six four, six four, but dude, honestly, no, he also was like thick as fuck. He might've been like two forty. He was a moose. And I remember thinking, dad, if you talk that way to celebrities, they'll beat you up in public. Tom Selleck was the funniest, actually the sweetest, not a funny story. I recognized, and I don't remember her name because I'm dumb, but the mom from Wonder Years, she, she was at an ice cream shop downtown Chicago. And I was with my mom and I was tugging on my mom. I was like, that's the woman from, that's the mom from Wonder Years. Ally Mills. And my mom had no, she was like, who are you talking about? And I go, Wonder Years, the show that I like. That's the mom. And my mom was like, what do you mean the show? And I'm like, on the TV.

• 1:14:54Andrew Santino?

  And my mom like didn't get it through her head. And then finally she goes, well, go, do you want me to go say hi to her? Like my mom wasn't really, she was like, I don't get why this matters.

• 1:15:01Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:15:01Andrew Santino?

  She walks me up, she said, my son wants to say hi. And I was like, hello, I like the show. Will you sign a napkin? And I still have the napkin of the ice cream shop signed by her, by the, by the mom from the Wonder Years. It's worth millions, by the way.

• 1:15:13Speaker 07

  First slab I ever saw Iowa City is more, it is better when it's not in LA.

• 1:15:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, way better when it's not in LA.

• 1:15:19Speaker 07

  I was in a brand new Chipotle in Iowa City. There's this tiny fucking cool looking guy. Uh, and I said, that guy looks like Trent fucking Resner. And he looked over and I go, that Trent Resner.

• 1:15:30Andrew Santino?

  It was him.

• 1:15:31Speaker 07

  It was him.

• 1:15:31Andrew Santino?

  Wait, is he a tiny man?

• 1:15:33Speaker 07

  He's not that big.

• 1:15:34Andrew Santino?

  Wow, I didn't know he was a tiny guy.

• 1:15:35Speaker 07

  He's short. Um, but, um.

• 1:15:37Andrew Santino?

  Tiny Trent?

• 1:15:38Speaker 07

  Sure, he's strong now. Okay, dude. Uh, so then I realizes him, I, I time it to where I can go meet him at the, where we're both getting sodas at the same time. Perfect, dude. Play it cool. I've never, you know, I love Nine Inch Nails. And I was just like, hey Trent, I'm a fan. Like while I'm getting a soda, he goes, uh huh. I go, when you're done eating, I'd love an autograph. And he was like, uh huh. Uh, so then I go and I watch him eat. You just watch him eat Chipotle? Just watched him eat from across the Chipotle, being like, is he done? When I kinda, cause I just thought it was nice to be like, I don't want to bother you while you're eating, but when you're done. Did you get Pinto or black, Trent? You get Pinto beans? He takes for fucking ever. Of course he does. He doesn't want to sign the fucking autograph. He's hoping you'll fuck off.

• 1:16:22Speaker 07

  So then he throws it away, leaves. I'm so dumb. Sprint outside. Trent, you forgot about the autograph we'd agreed on. Silly me. That's so good. Uh, yeah, no. And then I told him, I go, I'm in the arts too. No. I was like 19, I was doing stand up. I had a stand up show that night. And I almost was like, do you want to go to my show? But I was like, nah, nah, don't do that. Uh, he signed a napkin. Cool. Uh, and then I skipped my show and I went to see Nine Inch Nails that night, uh, in Cedar Rapids instead. And like, then I laminated it, not framed, laminated the poster with the Trent Reznor thing. That's, you still have this?

• 1:16:58Speaker 07

  No, cause when I fucking moved, when I moved from Iowa out here, I shipped it and they lost it. And I was like, guys, you lost like all my cool posters. And they're like, what's the value? I go, it's priceless.

• 1:17:11Speaker 07

  It's Trent Reznor Chipotle napkin sign. I don't know how much that is. It's a billion dollars, pal. You can't insure that. My dad did this crazy thing one time that's really, really funny. It's like, you know, your, your parents do something, your dad, my dad especially, it was just like, sometimes he'll, he'll, you know, I'll be mad at him and then he'll do something that I'm like, God, that's funny. Yeah, yeah. He told me the other day, his favorite president's like, he guess he just likes the horny guys.

• 1:17:36Andrew Santino?

  So he's like Clinton. Yes.

• 1:17:38Speaker 07

  Clinton and Trump.

• 1:17:39Andrew Santino?

  Clinton and Trump, horny guys.

• 1:17:40Speaker 07

  The horny guys.

• 1:17:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Horny boys.

• 1:17:42Speaker 07

  I was like, that's really funny, Jim.

• 1:17:44Andrew Santino?

  That's a great shirt, by the way, horny boys.

• 1:17:46Speaker 07

  I like the horny guys. So he, so we lived next to the Field of Dreams.

• 1:17:52Andrew Santino?

  Right, that's right.

• 1:17:53Speaker 07

  And they would have, yeah, like build houses next to the Field of Dreams. And when I say build houses, I mean, got yelled at while I took.

• 1:18:00Andrew Santino?

  Correct.

• 1:18:01Speaker 07

  Got fired from a construction job. But they had this like Hall of Fame night at the Field of Dreams. And it was like, you know, in the 90s when baseball players weren't rich afterwards and they had to go do shit.

• 1:18:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they go to work.

• 1:18:13Speaker 07

  Yeah. So all these fucking Hall of Famers come, my dad's favorite baseball player is George Brett. He likes, because George Brett fights people.

• 1:18:20Andrew Santino?

  He does.

• 1:18:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:18:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he was a man.

• 1:18:22Speaker 07

  George Brett and Tony Story, these guys are psychos.

• 1:18:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:25Speaker 07

  So he buys, at the end, he gets drunk enough to where he bought George Brett's game worn jersey.

• 1:18:32Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit.

• 1:18:33Speaker 07

  Yeah. I don't know how much it was, but he got it.

• 1:18:35Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be a lot.

• 1:18:35Speaker 07

  Throws it on right away, fucking buttons that guy up.

• 1:18:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:38Speaker 07

  We're like out in the parking lot afterwards, like he's like smoking a cigarette being like, fucking, I don't know if this jersey was, you know, like, I might have spent a little too much on this jersey. And then somebody comes over, they're like, oh my God, George Brett.

• 1:18:52Speaker 07

  He's like, yeah?

• 1:18:55Speaker 07

  Holy shit, will you sign, will you sign my baseball? My dad goes, ah, so my dad starts signing, has George Brett, a line forms.

• 1:19:04Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:19:05Speaker 07

  Yes. It's, he signs like 10, 15 people.

• 1:19:08Andrew Santino?

  Your dad does not look like George Brett?

• 1:19:09Speaker 07

  He looks, at this time, he did.

• 1:19:10Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he did?

• 1:19:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, they were the same age, big old dumb mustache.

• 1:19:13Andrew Santino?

  Just a mustache, yeah. White guy with a mustache.

• 1:19:15Speaker 07

  Then like the 16th guy gets up and goes, what the fuck dude? This isn't George Brett.

• 1:19:23Speaker 07

  My dad goes, never said I was. And then he, somebody came over and they're like, you really fucked up my baseball, man. Because they had all these Hall of Famers.

• 1:19:34Andrew Santino?

  Oh shit.

• 1:19:35Speaker 07

  And then one fake George Brett on it.

• 1:19:37Andrew Santino?

  That's a way better story for that guy. He's like, this actually isn't George Brett.

• 1:19:41Speaker 07

  That's Jim Wheelan.

• 1:19:42Andrew Santino?

  That's Jim Wheelan, dude. That's Mr. Jim Wheelan.

• 1:19:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:19:46Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Mr. Brooks Wheelan, I love you.

• 1:19:49Speaker 07

  Dude, this is so fun.

• 1:19:49Andrew Santino?

  Uh, please, ladies and germs, uh, go, uh, watch the special. Uh, it's in the description down below.

• 1:19:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:19:57Andrew Santino?

  Alive in Alaska. And also, I'm sure you're on tour. You want to plug some dates? I mean, when are you going back out?

• 1:20:01Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, I'm on, um, I'm out right now, uh.

• 1:20:04Andrew Santino?

  You're going back on the road?

• 1:20:05Speaker 07

  Yeah, I'm in Bloomington, Indiana this weekend. Then I'm in, I'm on a, this long residency in New York City with John Oliver and Seth Meyers.

• 1:20:12Andrew Santino?

  This is right. I should have mentioned this.

• 1:20:13Speaker 07

  No, it's fine.

• 1:20:14Andrew Santino?

  You talk about it.

• 1:20:14Speaker 07

  They don't need to help selling tickets.

• 1:20:16Andrew Santino?

  No, but it is kind of fun, but if you're out in New York.

• 1:20:17Speaker 07

  Once a month, I'm at the Beacon with John Oliver and Seth Meyers. And then I'm also in Cleveland at Hilarities. And then, um, in Sunnyvale at Rooster.

• 1:20:26Andrew Santino?

  Rooster T.

• 1:20:26Speaker 07

  Feathers.

• 1:20:27Andrew Santino?

  Uh, brookswhelan.com?

• 1:20:29Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 1:20:29Andrew Santino?

  brookswhelan.com. Uh, we're going to end the show the way we always do it with one word or one phrase. And look in that camera, one word or a phrase whenever you're ready.

• 1:20:38Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:20:45Speaker 04

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard.

• 1:20:47Speaker 05

  Sturdy and ginger.

• 1:20:49Speaker 04

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 1:20:51Speaker 05

  Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers.