#109 - Andy Milonakis

Andy Milonakis joins the pod to discuss being an internet trailblazer, growing up in NYC, his wild career path, his early love for reggae, being hilariously good at computers, being a high school dropout, his favorite vacation spots in Greece, rapping, getting scouted for a role in Waiting, and much more. Andy and Stav help callers including a guy who wants to get on TRT but whose girlfriend is against is, and a woman whose boyfriend is very insecure about her past number of partners. Follow Andy Milanokis on social media: https://www.twitch.tv/andymilonakis https://www.instagram.com/andymilonakis https://www.youtube.com/@andymilonakis https://x.com/andymilonakis 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:46Stavros Halkias?

  Opah! Welcome, everybody, to Stavios World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. It's about to be a new year. And we have to celebrate with truly a Hellenic legend on the couch, folks. Our boy Andy Milonakis is here. Andy, thanks for coming, dude.

• 1:06Speaker 04

  Thanks. I think Speed is a Hellenic legend now because he phrased "putana malaka, putana malaka."

• 1:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really? I didn't see that. There we go. That's big.

• 1:15Speaker 04

  He went all around Greece screaming "putana malaka" at Greek strangers.

• 1:20Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Speed. We'll get him in. We'll get him in the... Yeah. I'd love to have Speed. If you want to talk about putanes, malakis, you let us know.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was like a really, like, probably like a 92-year-old guy. And he's like, he couldn't really articulate in English what he was trying to say, but he's like, trying to say like, "I don't like that language."

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's so funny to see, like, the most energetic black teenager, that these people have never seen someone like Speed. And he's just saying... And by, for those at home, "putana malaka" means whore jerk off.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  So he's just yelling it at old Greek people. But, you know, I just like that it's getting, that the culture's getting out there.

• 2:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:02Stavros Halkias?

  I like that Speed is raising awareness of all the whores and jerk offs in Greece, of which there are many.

• 2:07Speaker 04

  I would have gone with "gamotos Speedi su."

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, that's a good one, fuck your house.

• 2:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:13Stavros Halkias?

  We have a lot of great phrases, uh, my favorite is when you're, when you're saying someone's not gonna do shit to you and they're threatening you, you say some class is that hit ya, which means you're not gonna do shit to me and it literally means fart on my balls. He's like, this is how little I care about you, you can fart right on my balls, chief, which is such a great insult, makes no sense. You're, it's like, how would a guy even do it? He would have to get really close to your dick and balls. It's kind of a homoerotic thing, but hey.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Also for a big religious group of people, the Greeks are insanely religious. They have one of the most vulgar fucking phrases of all time, that's like sacrilege.

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Fuck the Virgin Mary.

• 2:59Stavros Halkias?

  I fuck, I fuck your Virgin Mary, which is very interesting, which is like, who's, yeah, it's like, why are you, who's, do they have a specific Virgin Mary that's not yours? But it is very sacrilegious, it means, cause their whole thing is being overt, we actually covered this in a recent, actually this will, we covered it in an episode that will come out weeks from now, but we do some theology on the Patreon and basically her whole thing is that she just never fucked. But, you know, Mary.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got in trouble, I was up in the mountains of Crete and I was walking around and there was like an old church, you know, and I'm super nostalgic, I've been going since I was seven.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  And they have like a big bell and I just rang it.

• 3:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  And they're like.

• 3:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're just trying to have a nice time on the mountains, like, oh, this will be cool, the bell ringing, and they're like, oh no, oh no, Dimitri's dead. Dimitri finally kicked the bucket, that's so fu- it's also very funny to have a death bell.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, that's pretty depressing, man.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  They're, yeah, they're, they're very blunt about a lot of shit, like death and life, but that's what makes them so cool because they're so like. Wear their heart on their sleeve type like I have a really big family in my mom's side but you go to Christmas and it's all like niceties and small talk and like so yeah you're doing good oh

• 4:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 04

  Oh, you're doing good. My aunt is like my heart bleeds until you come back.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  I know they love they love guilt Greek people are great at guilt that very like descriptive guilt. Um, that's also is your mom's side uh your mom's American?

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. My mom is um yeah, I mean she's born here like it's it's generations removed she's Irish Italian but

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Generations removed so I'm not like I don't like pose that like yeah I got this I got that you know it's it's a few generations removed so I'm not really in touch with that culture.

• 5:13Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  She's born and raised here.

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  My dad's the Greek one.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, so that that does the that's the that is a definite like a stark difference between a Greek holiday and a like American Irish holiday.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  They love I mean Easter especially we got the best Easter of all.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  Easter is more important than Christmas for Greeks.

• 5:34Stavros Halkias?

  Without question. Well, they they also like that's why I like last year we had Yanis Papas on for the new year. I like having Greeks on because Greek people love New Years. That's their like big act like my my family tried this. They tried to make us wait till New Years for presents because that's what they do in Greece. And we weren't having that shit we're like look motherfucker we're in America I need my fucking Legos right the fuck now.

• 5:59Speaker 04

  And you gotta find the lucky coin in the cake.

• 6:01Stavros Halkias?

  Of course you know who's got who gets the good luck in the fucking Easter cake you you American cretins know nothing about that.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Hey, watch the Cretin work.

• 6:11Stavros Halkias?

  C R E T I N not not A N.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  Your gift is you find the lucky coin.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  I've gotten the coin before I don't think anything good has ever happened to me didn't you get the coin and then you had like the worst year of your life elders?

• 6:24Speaker 05

  I don't remember.

• 6:27Speaker 05

  So I don't know if I did it definitely did not change anything about my life.

• 6:31Stavros Halkias?

  Elders of course is Albanian Andy do you have any uh what's your relationship to the Albanian people?

• 6:37Speaker 04

  I don't know shit.

• 6:40Speaker 05

  Hey, Speed went to Albania too, that was fucking awesome.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  I do wanna explore more of Europe though, cuz I mean, I've pretty much traveled for a living for like eight years and like, there's a lot more of Europe I wanna explore.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Um, but, in my eyes, just from what I've seen and where, where, where I've been, if I had to like rank countries in, in Europe, I feel like Greece and Italy are the two kings of Europe.

• 7:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Greece is awesome dude, yeah, that's your blood speaking and it's true. It's fucking sick. It's the best like hangout culture. Now, do we have, uh, the best public transit? Do we have the best, like, infrastructure?

• 7:21Speaker 04

  Do we have the best people that work at cell phones, cell phone stores? Or when you go up and ask for help, do they say, "Wait," and walk away? And then talk to their cousin for forty-five minutes?

• 7:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's not, it's like, the customer service is either incredible in places that's like pure tourism, or it's the worst you've ever gotten in your life. And if you're there with a woman, they will try and fuck her in front of you.

• 7:44Speaker 04

  True. I mean, this is what I boil it down to. If they're in the food industry, or like, like, you know, selling like baked goods or restaurants, they're really nice to you. If they're in any corporate setting, banks, cell phone stores, they're mentally retarded.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right about that.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  They're like, "I'm getting a fucking SIM card and the guy is typing like fucking the Bible, the Holy Bible." He's, he just keeps typing for like an hour. I'm like, "Bro, it's a SIM card."

• 8:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Wait. And then he goes off like, it's fucking brutal, man.

• 8:22Stavros Halkias?

  And, I don't know if you've gotten this, but I, cuz my, my Greek is like whatever. Like, I try and get better. I'm fluent, but at a small, like a fucking eighth graders.

• 8:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  But when I'm in Greece, I'm like, "I'm gonna learn, I'm gonna like speak Greek, I'm really gonna get back in there." They have no patience for a Greek-American trying to connect to his roots. Like, I was trying, remember I was trying to rent a car and I was speaking Greek and they were just like... I heard that I'm like trying to like piece it together, not doing horrible, it's just that when the fuck do I ever talk about cars with my family? Like if we're talking about like making plans, doing whatever, like I can speak Greek, but I'm like He has almost have to kill the uh you know actually at the and and then she just hears me, she's like When do you need the car for, we have, we have SUV if you need SUV and I was just like

• 9:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I will come pick, just the most emasculated I've ever felt in my fucking life.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  This is gonna be faster for me if I speak English.

• 9:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I speak two languages, you fucking idiot. I'm smarter than you and I work it, I'm a guy at a fucking car deal, a car rental place. I'm a fifty year old man in a car rental place, I am bilingual. You live in a different country and are from ethnically this country and you still can't manage two languages.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  Where have you been in Greece, by the way? I was curious about that.

• 9:47Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, my family's from Athens and so, and then my yaya, her island is Thasos, which is in northern Greece, Thasos, and then My godfather lives on Noxos. I've been to a lot of the, Noxos fucking rules, yeah. Noxos, I've been to like, you know, some of the touristy islands there, Santorini, Mykonos, that kind of shit.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:06Stavros Halkias?

  Um, had a horrible time and I just think those are a little overrated.

• 10:10Speaker 04

  They're big overrated.

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hugely overrated.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Paros is kind of turning into Santorini a little bit, it's getting much more touristy.

• 10:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:16Speaker 04

  I think Milos is fire, has fire.

• 10:18Stavros Halkias?

  Milos, yeah, I wanna go there, my friend just went this summer. I've never been to Crete yet, uh, I wanna check it out.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  It's like a whole different subculture.

• 10:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  The food is different, the people are different. I was shooting guns at weddings when I was like nine.

• 10:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 04

  Like they're fucking wild there.

• 10:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cuz it's the most, it's southern Greece, so it's like, it's like if you mix like Greece, North Africa and like Even like some Middle Eastern stuff, it's like, and I have friends who are like Crete, from Crete, and they're like You look at them and you're like, you're like from Egypt. Like they're like dark as shit, and of course their father is one of the most racist guys I've ever met in my life. And talking about how like he's superior to black people, it's like you are African. You're like dark as shit, you look darker than like Hispanics, like you look darker than a lot of Dominicans. Uh, but that happened, so that that's a very funny thing that you'll get like, and that happens in other islands too, like Carpathia, which is like really close to Turkey and shit.

• 11:16Stavros Halkias?

  Those motherfuckers look straight up North African, they have like curly ass, and they'll, they are the most racist guys you've ever met in your life. Cause they're, they're just like, yeah, we're superior to that, we're not the same person.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  To me, this sums up what Creed is. Um, my father, you know, we have like a, a house in the village, like way high in the village. A lot of the places like no guardrails, you just windy roads, no guardrails. There's little statues of the Virgin Mary for any time like a tourist or somebody drunk.

• 11:48Speaker 04

  In your memory, here's a little statue.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  And him and his friends would go in the back of a pickup truck. At night, one holding a flashlight, one holding a shotgun, and they would go around, driving around those mountain roads, like shooting rabbits.

• 12:07Speaker 04

  Creed is some crazy shit.

• 12:09Stavros Halkias?

  Just good, just having a good time with the fellas.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Probably drunk as shit. I know, that's my favorite shit is that they have guardrails nowhere, and they'll also just let like children drive mopeds drunk, and they're just going up these fucking winding ass roads. I remember being a thirteen year old and being like, so scared at how like, like experienced Greek children, village children were, they're like thirteen smoking cigarettes, getting pussy, talking about having gangbangs together. What the fuck, I wanna play Pokemon, I was so fucking scared when my mom was like, go play with the kids. And I was like, oh, these guys are getting pussy and fucking shooting guns and shit, I was legit afraid.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:54Stavros Halkias?

  But I would show them a dollar, and they'd be like, oh.

• 13:00Stavros Halkias?

  They thought one dollar was like worth like so much.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Was that back when it was the Dracma?

• 13:05Stavros Halkias?

  It was the Dracula, but it was still like. One dollar was still not that much money, you know what I mean like? I could, I could basically, I traded kids like. A dollar for the equivalent of like twenty dollars. And they're like, I got an American dollar. I was like, oof. I can use fucking US imperialism to get these kids off the scent of what a pussy I am. If they wanted to, they could just beat the fuck out of me and took it, taking the dollar, but you know, Uncle Sam had my back.

• 13:33Speaker 04

  That's one interesting thing I was thinking of because like. I watch a lot of travel shit. I travel a lot. For people who are like, it's not like, I know they don't really classify shit as like third world, second world anymore. But for a pretty fucking core, like poorer country.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  I don't see like, you know, besides like some motherfucking in Athens who are not even Greeks like.

• 13:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  People don't like, there's not a lot of fights. There's not a lot of people like stealing your shit or robbing you like.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty chill.

• 14:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, like, of course it does happen once in a while. There's fucking millions of people everywhere, but like. I was surprised with how like peaceful it is there.

• 14:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I think it's just such a chill. It's a culture of hanging out and having a good time.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's like everyone's just chilling. They're like, yeah, there's not that, I mean, you know, we also probably go. In relatively safer places. I'm sure it happens a little more, but you're right. You don't hear about people complaining about it that much. Um, like, I mean, there's just more of a social safety net, like homeless isn't as big as an issue. Cause also, there's, there's more family, there's a bigger family culture and there's a bigger social safety net. So it's like, if you're struggling. Your family will help you and then you can also get support from the fucking government. Whereas here it's like, Americans, it's like they'll kick their children out. Like when they're fucking sixteen and then the, and there's no, and there's no social safety net really to speak of, so. Uh, that's why you, I think that's why you get those fucking issues.

• 15:06Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, you've been traveling a bunch, right? Like you've just like, you like to.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  It's, it's winding down a little bit, but I'm.

• 15:13Stavros Halkias?

  Every time I see you on the internet, you're like in fu- you know, having fucking Korean barbecue in Korea.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, my last Greece trip was three months ago. I went to a couple of new islands I haven't been to in the Ionian, Lefkada in Kefalonia.

• 15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  And then bef- I think like maybe four months before that I did Italy again. Which I almost got robbed in Naples. I love Naples. Naples is seriously one of my favorite places in Italy, like Naples and and and like Palermo Sicily. But.

• 15:44Stavros Halkias?

  Nobly done.

• 15:46Speaker 04

  I was streaming late night and fucking. This guy was like eyeing me.

• 15:50Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 15:51Speaker 04

  Hotels are so fucking weird in Naples. You have to like buzz yourself in and you open, you open the door and it's this pitch black, deep garage. And it's just pitch black and the garage goes like fucking a hundred yards. And then you you walk a hundred yards in that pitch blackness and then there's like a little tiny elevator that brings you up. So this guy like right when I buzzed myself in, he kinda like scurried over to me. And then he held the door for me. And I was drunk as hell, but I still had that. I saw that New York street. And I'm like, nah, after you, after you. He goes, no, no, no, after you, after you. And I go, no, no, after you.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  And he walks in and holds the door for me and I just fucking jet towards like where I saw some people.

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  And this was all like, this was late, so there wasn't that many people. And as like I looked behind my back as soon as I walked like ten feet, he like walked out and left.

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for sure. He had a huge knife. He was like, hmm.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  Yeah. I like. I wouldn't really mind losing like my camera setup, but if I got fucking like beat up too, like I'd be pissed.

• 17:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's a very chill way to look at it, man. Like I wouldn't mind losing my, you know, expensive, specific camera setup. That I may use to make my living, but I just don't want to get the shit kicked out of me.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  Exactly. I don't want to get fucking beat up by some goon.

• 17:17Stavros Halkias?

  Have you been robbed before? Have you gotten like, have you gotten like?

• 17:20Speaker 04

  Back, I mean, back in the day in in like Manhattan, in Manhattan, um. I was buying like reggae mixes at this place called House of Nubian.

• 17:33Stavros Halkias?

  How old were you? What are we talking? What years are this?

• 17:35Speaker 04

  This is probably like, I was like, maybe sixteen.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, young Andy at House of Nubian?

• 17:44Speaker 04

  I buy the licorice chew stick.

• 17:47Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny dude.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  And my Egyptian musk.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  And I had like money on the table to buy like all the stuff I was buying. And this guy fucking, who's selling sun kissed orange cans. For like a dollar each.

• 18:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the outside, the guy outside?

• 18:04Speaker 04

  No, yeah.

• 18:05Stavros Halkias?

  With a cooler?

• 18:06Speaker 04

  He walked in, he goes, "I got sun kissed orange broth", like.

• 18:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  And um, and then he saw my money and he grabbed it. And I chased him and I was screaming on my, top my lungs to get it back. That was all I had and that's a lot for me. And um, and like I caught up to him because I wasn't as much of a fat fuck at the time.

• 18:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, a youthful.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  He goes, "Follow me to the park, son. I'mma fucking stab your ass." He just said stab or shoot. And then like some undercover cop like heard me screaming and chased the guy down. He couldn't catch the guy and the guy just threw the money on the ground, so I got the money back, but.

• 18:46Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  That's very adventurous. I mean, I guess sixteen, you don't know any better. But that's an insane thing to do. It's like, just fucking chase some guy. And fucking, man, you're a teenager.

• 18:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:59Stavros Halkias?

  Trying to buy, trying to buy reggae mixes?

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, man.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Trying to fuck up my style. That's my personal growth. That shit made me a G. No, I'm kidding.

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's fascinating. Were you living in Queens? Like where were you? Where'd you grow up?

• 19:15Speaker 04

  No, I was actually living in Westchester County.

• 19:17Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  But I, I've told this story before, but it was, it's a weird part of Westchester County. Because it was like a little pocket of ghetto. I think people don't understand that. They're like. Oh, it's Westchester, everything is rich.

• 19:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  There's little pockets of ghetto.

• 19:33Stavros Halkias?

  And this is also a while ago, right?

• 19:35Speaker 04

  This is a long time ago, it's like, it's like, uh, nineties.

• 19:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, nineties, yeah, I mean, it's like, Westchester was, I mean, I'm sure it was nicer than parts of, you know, New York, but it's like, there's definitely parts of it that could be kinda shitty in the nineties.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  I never glamorize it, I've never seen and like, no one's ever been like, shooting and holding up guns.

• 19:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  But, like, late eighties, early nineties, there was a lot of crack and a lot of like, fucked up shit.

• 20:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Like, I got in an argument with some guy's like, fucking son and he picked me up by my fucking neck.

• 20:09Stavros Halkias?

  You were a kid? And an adult started like, gave you the Darth Vader?

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, and my mother called the cops on him and he was in the back of the cop car and they're like, do you wanna press charges? And, and he goes, she goes, no, I think it's gonna make it worse. Don't press charges, but if you touch my son again, you're going to fucking jail like that, you know?

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, dude.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  But.

• 20:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking insane, choking a child, that's so fucking crazy.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. But I mean, my memories from my life there, like, all the weird shit, like going to, um, this place Maple Avenue in Mount Kisco, and getting the Mexican guys to buy us forty ounces and we would just buy him one.

• 20:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  And.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  Hey mister, a classic hey mister situation.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, and the crack dealer that worked out of my best friend's house, he like, he like bought us all the ill shit. He like, he took us to Brooklyn, like, to Bushwick and, this is before like, like fancy ass motherfuckers are living in Brooklyn.

• 21:04Stavros Halkias?

  Bushwick in the nineties was not chill, yeah.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  He would just buy us like Nintendo games and food and stuff, like, we basically had like, um, a guy to fucking give us money and.

• 21:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny, so you had, so your crew, your mentor was a crack dealer who got you, who showed you like Bushwick and got you Nintendo games?

• 21:24Speaker 04

  So my best friend named Muti, his, um.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's the crew like, you, Muti?

• 21:30Speaker 04

  Me, Muti, um, there's a guy named EJ, there's a bunch of like, old school guys, right? But it was basically me and Muti were like inseparable, he lived like, so the complexes are like this, and then you walk outside, you go upstairs, and then there's another row of apartments.

• 21:47Stavros Halkias?

  So you guys live in the same like apartment?

• 21:48Speaker 04

  Housing like bullshit, right?

• 21:50Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  So. I would be over there every day, we'd be watching like, you know, shit on TV, you know, playing Nintendo, whatever. Um. And. The crack dealer befriended Mutti somehow and was cooking crack out of his apartment. So because he was.

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  How old was Mutti, just like?

• 22:10Speaker 04

  He was nine, I think we were both around fifteen at the time, maybe fifteen sixteen, I forget.

• 22:15Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Since he was cooking crack out of Mutti's apartment. He was just generous with all the money he was making.

• 22:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's a crack dealer with a heart of gold.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  He buys like fucking Street Fighter, Chinese food.

• 22:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, didn't molest you?

• 22:34Speaker 04

  No. But I did, when I, when I was a kid, I, I, I was in the room when some guy raped somebody.

• 22:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no dude. That sucks. That probably fucked you up, huh?

• 22:48Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 22:50Stavros Halkias?

  I think so, man, I think we can safely say that fucked you up.

• 22:54Speaker 04

  And he tried to like grab my dick to see if it was hard.

• 22:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so damn, yeah, you got, you got drive by molested during a different sex crime, you got, you got a little molested.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  So the, the craziest thing about it, we're, me, the crack dealer, Mutti, were all eating Chinese food. Um, and then the lights went out and it was getting late anyway, and you know, I'm still. In early teens, I still have to go home and shit.

• 23:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:20Speaker 04

  So I was like, alright, what the fuck, I gotta see if my lights are out too, I'll see you tomorrow, I went home, my lights were on, I didn't think anything of it. Went to bed, next day I walked downstairs. And he had, Mutti has no door.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  Battering ran open.

• 23:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no dude.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  The feds ransacked the place.

• 23:39Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 23:41Speaker 04

  Cut her up.

• 23:41Stavros Halkias?

  No dude, and he lived with his parents, I guess?

• 23:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, well, his mom.

• 23:46Stavros Halkias?

  His mom, yeah, yeah, damn dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, damn dude.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  Um.

• 23:51Stavros Halkias?

  So.

• 23:52Speaker 04

  But we had so many adventures.

• 23:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it sounds like pretty adventurous, sounds like it was a pretty laissez faire parenting, if you could hang out with crack dealers and no one cared. Like, it seems like you guys were able to do some fun stuff.

• 24:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, my mother was just naive, she didn't know what was going on, she was just like, oh, they're going to play Nintendo at Mutti's house, you know what I mean?

• 24:11Stavros Halkias?

  And pops is shooting rabbits in Crete?

• 24:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Um, but yeah, I mean, when, when you have no fear and you're young, you have no fear of death or jail.

• 24:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  Shit's like a movie.

• 24:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  It's all like good times.

• 24:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, I get that for sure.

• 24:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:37Stavros Halkias?

  That must have been fun. So you, you would like pop into the city.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would always go to the city. I'd go to Tad's Steakhouse. It was like the little cafeteria style steakhouse.

• 24:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I love those style steakhouses.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's kinda like ghetto for what it is. When you're a kid, that shit's fucking luxury.

• 24:53Stavros Halkias?

  We had a place called King's Court in Baltimore that became an Applebee's.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:58Stavros Halkias?

  But when it was King's Court and you just picked out your, you picked out your sides and then they would cook your steak while you waited. I, I ordered a T-bone as like an eight-year-old fat boy. And my dad just thought it was hilarious. And obviously I didn't finish it, but it felt, I just wanted the kinda steak that like, you know, a dog in Looney Tunes eats.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  With the big fucking.

• 25:20Stavros Halkias?

  The circle in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  But yeah, going to the city was special to me cause like, I, I always liked having jobs from when I was fourteen. I was like, working at a gas station.

• 25:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Then I was like a bus boy, working at retail stores. I always had jobs. There was never gaps between jobs. Cause I just loved the feeling of getting a check and getting my own money.

• 25:42Stavros Halkias?

  Were you, how's he doing on the, can you keep it a little?

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry.

• 25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Closer. No, no, this, this is good stuff. And Eldis is a bad producer. That's why I wanna make sure we're not missing any of it. He sounds good. Okay, cool.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  So, um, yeah, going to the city on like the weekend. And just being able to buy some clothes, buying, to buy some like fucking bootleg fucking movies and.

• 26:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  Music back when we didn't have easy access to it.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  Um, it was amazing. I loved every minute of it. You know, getting to Grand Central, I'd walk my ass all the way down to fucking Eighth and Sixth. That's where, um, Fat Beats was. And there was also a record store called Rockin' Soul.

• 26:22Speaker 04

  Sold all like the hip hop vinyl.

• 26:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's fun dude to be like a a young unsupervised delinquent. In in New York in the like nineties and two thousands. That's fucking sick dude. That must have been a fun time. Cause it was still kinda like kinda dangerous, kinda grimy, kinda like you get into some fun stuff. It was probably, you know.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Back when Times Square was actually grimy.

• 26:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, did you ever jack off in Times Square?

• 26:45Speaker 04

  No.

• 26:49Stavros Halkias?

  They have the jack off booths or whatever.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Maybe I was, I don't know if I was too young or I stopped going around that time. I don't know, but.

• 26:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:56Speaker 04

  I I I used to go into the adult like sex tape shops and shit, but I never went into those little like jack off booths.

• 27:03Stavros Halkias?

  I know. It is, that is funny that you caught the tail end of that, cause pretty soon after it became just the M and M store. It'd be funny, a guy just comes in the M and M store. I used to beat off here. Bro. Make the fucking blue M and M show me your, make the green M and M show me your pussy.

• 27:17Speaker 05

  This city's changed.

• 27:18Stavros Halkias?

  This city's changed, man.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Times Square is so fucking bad now.

• 27:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  I always loved New York around Christmas time, but now I'm starting to like rethink it. Like I'm staying downtown. And I'm, I met up with a bunch of friends and they all like wanna go like here and there to do touristy, touristy shit, but like. Bro, downtown is still kinda cool, but like.

• 27:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, Times Square is, is tough.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  I did go there. I went to a Broadway show, um, I went to see Elf on Broadway.

• 27:46Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  Cause it was a little Christmas scene.

• 27:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Sean Astin was in it. I didn't even know he was in it. Um, but, but we took an Uber. It took an hour and we were still like gonna be a half an hour late. So we got off at Grand Central, rushed to the fucking shuttle, fucking subway. And just got off at Times Square, just literally like if a big picture of like a bunch of humans together.

• 28:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  Could be classified as AIDS.

• 28:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Especially Christmas. It fucking sucks dick, but you know, not, not the New York of your youth. Why don't you hit us with any other fun adventures? Another one you wanna recount? Anything? That was the time you got robbed? Uh, any drug deals that went bad, any weed buys that went bad?

• 28:32Speaker 04

  Well, I you, well, I just, I never, I was very safe with like pills. But, you know, a little bit later in life, like I like to dabble in like taking some perks.

• 28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  And, um.

• 28:45Stavros Halkias?

  I'm with you, bro.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  I used to, I used to buy like perks out of a tanning salon in LA.

• 28:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's the place to do it.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Everybody was getting tanned and I walked in the back, he grabbed a hairnet and it's like, what you want?

• 29:01Stavros Halkias?

  Do you remember the hairnet?

• 29:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. When did you move to LA?

• 29:08Speaker 04

  I moved to LA in like two thousand four, maybe?

• 29:12Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  Two thousand three, maybe, I forget, yeah.

• 29:15Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I, was the first thing, cause like, was the first thing that like popped for you? How old were you when, what was it, the Super Bowl is gay?

• 29:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:23Stavros Halkias?

  Cause we're, by the way, we're huge fans, just to let you know. We were, the Andy Milanokis show, the like, we were fucking legit and having the Greek name, you know how Greek people are, dude? You see a Greek name, there's pride, but you also were just doing shit that we loved. We were, we were battle rap fans when we were younger, so it's like, you hit a lot of the, we watched a lot of your shit, dude. So, yeah, we know all about it, just so you know.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  That's cool, that's cool.

• 29:47Stavros Halkias?

  But like, how, yeah, how old were you? Cause that was like a big thing that was just random, right? Like you, you were just a guy talking about the Super Bowl being gay.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  Yeah. I, um.

• 30:01Speaker 04

  I just, I don't know, I don't know why I started making videos, but I was doing these like photorealistic comics.

• 30:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  And then it was just like three random pictures, um, and each one had a little caption. And then one of them was a rap and I was like, why? I have a webcam now, why don't I just make this video?

• 30:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  And. I did that and then I did probably like a hundred of them. And I'd get a little bit of response here and there. But the crazy part is, once I started doing improv at UCB, I took like a comedy writing course in Gotham. I literally thought like the next step to making those videos, what was to kinda like go out there in the world and do like improv classes and that. And while I was doing that shit. Instead of uploading like, you know, a video every few days, it went from like a video every like few weeks. So that section of my website was pretty much dying. When I made the Super Bowl as gay.

• 31:05Stavros Halkias?

  A banger, a classic.

• 31:07Speaker 04

  It just turned out to be a banger and like horrible, but.

• 31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hey man, it was a different time.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  You always talk about like how like close you were for shit to not happen, but like that was. You know, when I, once I started doing all that real world shit, met a lot of people that had similar interests, doing writing classes, doing improv.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  You know, that site could have very well died without any of them becoming that popular and then. What sealed the deal for me with was another one of my videos that was like a freestyle rap video. Got the eye of a casting director, which at the time, casting people from online videos was unheard of.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, this is literally like pre, is it even pre YouTube?

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 31:53Stavros Halkias?

  Like that's how crazy, that's what an internet OG you are. It was like, you were fucking, you had a shitty webcam, you were putting them on your own website. That's so fucking weird and then it worked, it's awesome. Yeah, cause I remember, yeah, cause there weren't. We would have to go to weird websites to watch videos. That was the era of e-bombs world and like, you know, shit like that where you had to just be like. You would find a video, there was no YouTube, which is fucking fascinating.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  And yeah, so that could easily, yeah, oh yeah, so the casting director found another one of my raps and was just like, we've been casting this movie waiting for a couple of years.

• 32:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you were great in Waiting.

• 32:31Speaker 04

  Are you in LA? She didn't, she didn't know Jimmy Kimmel discovered me because like, I was just being like correspondent, man on the street. I wasn't really getting my name super out there yet. Um, and I was like, yeah, I'm already out in LA, blah, blah, blah. So I went on audition and got it, but those, the Jimmy Kimmel thing and Waiting both happened from separate videos that I uploaded.

• 32:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cool, fuck yeah. And you were already in LA at the time when that happened or you moved?

• 32:55Speaker 04

  Uh, when the, when the Waiting thing happened, I was already in LA. When the Kimmel thing happened, I was in New York.

• 33:00Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like fucking Hollywood, baby?

• 33:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:03Stavros Halkias?

  Time to get to Hollywood?

• 33:04Speaker 04

  Well, I like, I didn't know if it was a joke or if it was, I didn't know if it was like a troll or like, I thought I was gonna go out there and do one thing and it was like, oh, he thought this was interesting and that's it.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  But then they, um, they made me, they're like, we saw you have some man on the street videos. Can you make another one? Cause you're not in them. I'm just holding the camera. I was walking around Queens in a fucking blizzard, asking people why they're outside in a blizzard.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Yo, I gotta get my coffee. I'm like, you're risking people's life for coffee?

• 33:44Speaker 04

  One guy's, I'm like, why are you out in a blizzard? And one guy finally got, got it and was like, why are you fucking out in a blizzard with a thirty dollar camera? I'm like, actually, it's a fifty dollar camera. Um, so that was the video where I was just filming and then they wanted me to make like another one. So, I went out in Manhattan with my boy Brian Lynch, who's like fucking insane writer. He writes a lot of movies now.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sick.

• 34:08Speaker 04

  Um, and he filmed it for me and I was just like, I was hand feeding chicken wings to homeless people. I was rapping with people on the street. I was just fucking wilding the fuck out. I sent them the like mini DV tapes.

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, a physical tape? That's fucking hilarious, dude.

• 34:28Speaker 04

  And then they were like, okay, we're gonna send you to Florida and you're gonna do correspondent shit for the show.

• 34:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. That's fucking sick, dude.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  It's just all fucking, it's still like Twilight Zone-y when I think about it. Cause I was, I was working in Manhattan in an office doing like computer tech shit.

• 34:43Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 34:43Speaker 04

  And it just like, and like, you know, over time it changed my life, but like in, When I was staying in these hotels and they were moving me from hotel to hotel because they kept giving me more work. It was like the most surreal weird fucking.

• 34:57Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, because you don't feel like you live anywhere. And it's like all this weird shit and you just have to make these videos and. Yeah, you feel, I mean, I at least feel that way when we're on tour so much where it's like. Do I even exist? Am I just a fucking floating entity? Just doing shows and like you don't feel like you have a home, so I can imagine it would be surreal since like your first thing. Is ju- and it's on TV by the way, which is like that's fucking huge and those were, those were big like. We watched those, you know what I mean? Like those were fucking funny as hell.

• 35:28Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, that must have been fucking crazy because, because. So you were just living in Manhattan and doing like you had your place, do you have like room, what was your?

• 35:35Speaker 04

  I was living in Queens.

• 35:36Stavros Halkias?

  You live in Queens, okay. Were you, do you have roommates? What was your?

• 35:39Speaker 04

  I had a roommate for a while in, um, on Stein, I was living on Steinway.

• 35:43Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, hell yeah, in the neighborhood.

• 35:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. And then, um.

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, just hanging out on Stein, you were just like, like, you know. A guy in your twenties doing like, having shitty jobs and like doing like comedy stuff, trying to figure it out.

• 35:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I was working in Manhattan on Fifty First and Madden Accounting Firm. I was like their network admin.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  I, I got hired to go in like three days after nine eleven happened.

• 36:11Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, damn, they're like, alright, we got two days off. Get back, nine fourteen, everybody's back in the office.

• 36:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking crazy dude.

• 36:26Speaker 04

  I'm going through Grand Central, there's all the fucking missing posters.

• 36:29Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god dude.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  That's when it really hit me, like when I saw like the shit happen, but like once I saw like names and faces, it really fucked me up.

• 36:39Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 36:39Speaker 04

  So I'm like, walking from Grand Central to Fifty First and Madden. Um, my first day of work, there's a major computer virus. Um, I I have to stay three days after fucking nine eleven happened. I have to stay in the office by myself overnight till eight in the morning. Fixing every.

• 36:59Stavros Halkias?

  Fixing a computer virus.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  And when they s- when they came back, I had everything fixed, cause all the accountants book out at like a lot of money per hour and shit. And they like had a little meeting in the semicircle and they they sent me um home in like a limo.

• 37:16Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa dude.

• 37:17Speaker 04

  It was a it was a good first impression.

• 37:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you fixed a huge problem that could have cost them so much money.

• 37:22Speaker 04

  I started coming in late.

• 37:26Speaker 04

  And my boss sat me down and I seriously thought I was gonna get fired. He goes, Andrew, what time? What time would you like to come in? You seem to not come in on time. And I was like, you know, I was getting there like fucking seven thirty, eight AM. It was miserable. I fucking.

• 37:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's brutal dude, that's too early.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  And he's like, I was like, I don't know, maybe like eleven? And that's when I thought he was just gonna fire me and he goes. Andrew, I look at you like an artist, you know, you're different. You you know how to fix shit.

• 37:58Speaker 04

  Your job now starts at eleven. But you're gonna stay later. But I was like.

• 38:05Stavros Halkias?

  Those are my hours. That's so fucking funny that you were just, so you you've been good at that shit? You're also like a techie like.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was I was I dropped out of high school because I was fucking around with um computers and shit. And just like I I I wasn't like some fucking elite hacker or anything, but I was kinda messing with those types of people. Who are doing like fucked up weird.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  Eventually, um, my father only hangs out with like Greek guys that are in dirty clothes, cause they're working in restaurants all day. So I came home one day and there's three white guys in suits. And. It was the fucking FBI.

• 38:46Stavros Halkias?

  For what? You were fucking, just your friends, your hacker friends?

• 38:48Speaker 04

  Cause I was fucking around online. Now I was, I was the lowest on the totem pole as far as guilt.

• 38:55Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 38:58Stavros Halkias?

  What kinda shit?

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Like I stole like hundreds of AOL accounts.

• 39:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 39:07Speaker 04

  I had staff accounts so like normally if you like scroll in a chat room you just get kicked because it ruins the vibe of the chat room but if you have a a staff account you can create these little asky scrollers and it will just make like pictures and scroll for hours of just like crazy shit. And you can make your own keyword like people would go there and type keyword weather and see the weather on AOL. You could type keyword and then like my name and it'd be a picture of me telling the other group to fuck themselves.

• 39:37Stavros Halkias?

  So you're just fucking with people in chat rooms?

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, just fucking around. And then my friends who were doing worse shit. They would charge cars to other fucking hackers so they would try to get them caught.

• 39:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Or caught or like large items like four thousand dollar items with stolen credit cards.

• 39:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  And they would do it to the address of these other like hackers that got doxxed and shit.

• 39:58Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Um, but I didn't really know all that shit so basically I told everybody I was like, you know, my dad's like, let, we gotta get a lawyer and I go, no. Let them take my computer now because if they leave, I could just delete everything so it makes me look guilty. And they ended up not taking anything. They left, never heard from it again.

• 40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  Uh, one of my friends got got it way worse. I don't know if he did federal prison or if he just got like fucking five years of probation. I don't know what. But there's a, there's a whole, um, there's a Village Voice article about it. Uh, yeah.

• 40:34Stavros Halkias?

  So you were just at this point in your life, you're like a hacker, you're like a mi- like a small-

• 40:39Speaker 04

  I'm like a fake hacker hanging out with hackers, learning shit, yeah.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  You're small, yeah, you're like a small time hacker who's also like doing improv comedy and like just living in Queens with some other guy. Just fucking hanging. What a hilarious life dude. What, that's so funny. And and your dad was back from Greece and he was around or what was he doing at the time?

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Um. Well, once I lived in Queens, I would go back once in a while, but my father never like, um, once he came here. Um, he never lived in Greece, but he would take, he would take me and my family there like, you know, every few years.

• 41:15Stavros Halkias?

  But he was living here?

• 41:17Speaker 04

  He was living here, yeah.

• 41:18Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, got you, got you.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  No, he was living in, in Mount Kisco in Westchester.

• 41:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, in Westchester, got you, got you, got you. I see. So they went to your family's house?

• 41:26Speaker 04

  Oh, at the time, yeah.

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's you were living there at the time, got you, got you, got you.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  This is before I got any jobs when I was like, uh, I think maybe eighteen, seventeen or eighteen, I had before I had the computer jobs. And, um, this is in Katona and, uh, yeah. When I got back and I saw those people, I was scared as shit.

• 41:45Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, that's so funny doing, doing small time online crimes, but you were nice with it?

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I met up with like strangers, like that were like doing like some like light hacking shit. Like when we met up in the city and we were like going to like web cafes to do like fucked up shit. It was like, we were trying to like, we were trying to steal like very short AOL names, like. I had like God or Job, like we were taking. I don't know. It was like, a lot of it was just like script kitty shit. It wasn't like, like crazy. When you think about the crazy hackers and what they really do, it was just kitty shit.

• 42:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it, man. Don't worry, the cops won't find out about this. You're good, dude.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  Well, I just don't wanna like be like a poser, like I'm so fucking elite hacker, man.

• 42:31Stavros Halkias?

  I respect that, man. You felt, you, yeah, you, you tell it like it is. You were a small time hacker. That's so funny. And then you were just so good at the, that, that, how long did you, did you have that like?

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Uh, when I dropped out of high school, I went to this offset of Skidmore College in White Plains, which is all for tech. And I did like MCSE A plus, like certification, just like basic shit. So when I wanted to put shit on a resume as like a

• 42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  non-high school diploma, just that I have like some qualifications with computers. And we had like twenty-one people, we had like twenty something people in our class, um. And none of them could touch me. We had like our final thing, they basically um they software broke like twenty computers and then an extra credit one. And we had to go around fix it and then when we fixed it, the next person, uh the teacher had to like.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  But yeah, I like. I knew more than everybody in that class like.

• 43:27Stavros Halkias?

  And were they paying you well at that other at the nine eleven job?

• 43:33Speaker 04

  At the time, I mean, I forget what year it was, but I think at the time it was like maybe like forty five fifty K.

• 43:40Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  So like, this was like over twenty years ago.

• 43:43Stavros Halkias?

  And you were a fucking young high school dropout?

• 43:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:46Stavros Halkias?

  So uh I'm sure they were, I'm sure you were doing like four times the amount of value for them, but they were like, he doesn't know that. He's some fucking, you know.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  Well, the thing is, it was, it was a small accounting firm and. They didn't know shit. So like, and I I was really good at what I did, so I had the place fucking well.

• 44:09Speaker 04

  And then they would. Once in a while, the partners would come up to me, they're like, what are you working on right now? They just wanted to make sure I was working, even though my job was just to make sure everything was up and running, well oiled, nothing wrong. And I would always just make shit up. I'm like, I have to defrag the hard drive.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  It's lagging and I'd be on like just different fucking websites.

• 44:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're trying to, yeah, you're buying fucking, you're buying more reggae stuff on the, on the dark web. You're trying to get Bob Marley shoes.

• 44:41Speaker 04

  See, Bob Marley's a legend, but.

• 44:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, not your thing.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  I listened to like, I like that raspy fucking just harsh voice.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Fucking Capleton.

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, okay, nice dude. Yeah, I don't know shit. I'm not, I'm not a man of the world like you. I'm not as well versed in that shit. Me and others were just mixtape. You know, we're a little, we're a little younger, so it was like we, we were down, I mean, I would buy bootlegs at school. We were at the tail end of bootleg shit and then everything was just downloading it off, off the fucking internet.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:15Stavros Halkias?

  We never did anything, we weren't really, I was a fucking pussy as a child. My family was like so overprotective and like worried. And they never let me do anything fucking cool. So it was like, until we were like, maybe seventeen when I got my mom's Dodge Grand Caravan. And we could whip it to like, kinda sketchy parties and then I started selling weed. We didn't really do anything sketchy at all, to be honest with you, we were fucking pussies.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:41Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 45:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's funny, like, I did some fucked up shit, but I wasn't like. Maybe I just seemed too much like a good kid to them, cause I wasn't like, I wasn't getting into.

• 45:53Stavros Halkias?

  You had an innocent look about you too.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:56Stavros Halkias?

  You know, young, young you.

• 45:58Speaker 04

  I wasn't doing like psycho shit where they're like, oh no, our kid's crazy, we gotta put him in psych ward.

• 46:06Speaker 04

  Like I was just like, shit that an adult should do maybe, but like, I'm just drinking a forty ounce, a little fucking joint, bro. I ain't hurting nobody.

• 46:17Stavros Halkias?

  I love it dude, yeah, that's so funny. And then you just go to LA and you're just, the spoils of Hollywood, you're taking pills. You know?

• 46:26Speaker 04

  I, I never got addicted, I used to always just dabble and then like stop, I was like always paranoid, I've never done like. You could name any drug in the world, if it's like a street drug and not, not like a pharmaceutical, I've never done it.

• 46:38Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm, respect dude.

• 46:40Speaker 04

  Just cause I'm scared.

• 46:41Stavros Halkias?

  Scared, yeah, yeah.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  If I wasn't scared, I would, I'm curious about it. I'm curious, if you tell me, I guarantee you nothing bad is gonna happen to you and I could just have some acid right now, I would do it right now.

• 46:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, no acid, no psychedelics for you.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  No, I'm just scared.

• 46:55Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 46:56Speaker 04

  I'm fucking pussy when it comes to shit like that.

• 46:58Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting, yeah, well, I've definitely done plenty of those, oh, you could probably get some. Maybe some mushrooms in Amsterdam, the truffles, those are pretty well regulated over there.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have to eat so many of them. I went with a group of my friends and I was the only fucking bitch who didn't take them. They were all just like shoveling them down their fucking mouth.

• 47:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they're a lot and they're fresh, they taste like shit, but they will get you fucked up.

• 47:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yes, brother, you better believe it. Uh, well, there's so much more we can talk about. We got, but we, you know, half the show is we need to give people their sage advice here.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, people leave voicemails, they're gonna wanna hear from you. We have way more questions, you gotta come back someday, or maybe, maybe we'll come visit you in Tex- sometimes we do travel shows, maybe we'll come, we'll come to Texas.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  I'm down.

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see what we got here, Eldis. Who, what do we have, uh, and by the way, in the midway point, tell people where they can find you, your streams, like, you know, where, where, what do you wanna plug anything here? Here's the, here's a nice choice place for, cuz we're huge fans, me and Eldis, we love this fucking guy, he's hilarious.

• 47:59Speaker 04

  Stop it.

• 48:01Stavros Halkias?

  You know, now you're stream, which I think is a, you're great for stream. I think a lot of people who stream, I don't understand why they have an audience, but you're a, a very interesting, funny personality that I would love to watch.

• 48:13Speaker 04

  Thanks, brother.

• 48:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's fun to watch you do shit and it's fun to watch you, even when you're not traveling, just like hanging out, you're a great streamer, so where can they, where, where can the people find you, Andy?

• 48:31Stavros Halkias?

  We'll put it in here, man.

• 48:33Speaker 04

  Nah, I'm just kidding.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  It's just twitch.tv/andymelanakis.

• 48:40Stavros Halkias?

  There it is. Go find the boy.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  Find me, motherfucker.

• 48:45Stavros Halkias?

  Go find him and then come see us, the Dreamboat Tour. It's a great, if you missed Christmas, great last minute gift, get people tickets to come see us on tour.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  You do a lot of shows, huh?

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gone. The Dream, the, the, this coming tour, we're going February through May, we're gonna be on a tour bus pretty much the whole time. We're gonna have a 10 day break in the middle, but other than that, yeah, we're out the whole time.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah.

• 49:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna be fun. I'm very, I'm fucking excited. Uh, I took this year off of touring and so I'm excited to get back out there and see the people.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah, buddy. You gonna stay in New York for Christmas?

• 49:20Stavros Halkias?

  I'm going to Baltimore. My family's in Baltimore.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 49:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a little place there that I, that's, you know, we were talking about it off camera, but it's like as much as I love New York. Life is so much easier, literally everywhere else. And like I have a whole house in Baltimore. It's fuck it, I got a nice, big ass kitchen, I got a nice.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:41Stavros Halkias?

  I love it here, but relaxing, it's not a relaxing place. It's a great place to do shit, to see shit, to have a good time, but I need a couple, I need a little relax- relaxation time. So I'm hitting beautiful Baltimore for that.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  Just kinda like, it's kinda like Greece, like it's so beautiful, so many views are just like. Feel like you're, it's like unrealistic how beautiful it is. And then you walk down the road and spraying your fucking ankle on all the bumps. The fucking rooms have no A C. The beds feel like they're made out of a rice cake.

• 50:15Stavros Halkias?

  The bed technology in Greece is so, mattresses are like in nineteen forty-two. Like I feel like a luxury hotel, you're sleeping on what like a World War Two G I slept on.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  It's not very comfortable.

• 50:28Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 50:29Speaker 04

  When you go to the beaches and you just see the insane views, you're like, oh man.

• 50:33Stavros Halkias?

  The beach is beautiful and tranquil, but you're right.

• 50:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's not.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Not very comfortable of a place.

• 50:38Stavros Halkias?

  It takes a while to set up. You're right, actually, the, the infrastructure is pretty similar. Where it's like every, to get something comfortable would be so fucking expensive.

• 50:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:47Stavros Halkias?

  But it is beautiful, it's a good place to vacation.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  We had the luxury of America, but like the beautiful weather and scenic views of Greece. I mean, there's no way we could live there comfortably, cause everybody would wanna fucking live there.

• 51:00Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's my goal, it's gonna take a while, but I wanna like get a place. I wanna get like a mattress for a fat man. I wanna get a specific fat mattress. I wanna get A C, like I want to get a place and actually turn it into that, but that's like a year project, you know what I mean? It's gonna take years to really get right.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  I've been waiting for my Greek citizenship for about three years now. I'm like, there's like, there's always like a new piece of paper that I need and shit. Once I get that, I, I do wanna buy a house and like probably create.

• 51:29Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah, bro. It's fucking awesome.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  I just think it'd be cool, like to have a bank account there, if I need to help my friends, like my, my, not really my friends, my like family.

• 51:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, family, yeah. Yeah, I'm with you, I wanna set, set up shop there, I wanna live there like three months out of the year if I can figure it out.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:46Stavros Halkias?

  We'll see, I am a Greek citizen, but they, I don't wanna get, I don't wanna go to the army.

• 51:54Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm waiting a little bit.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  I'm waiting a little bit, but we'll see, we'll get there. Aldis, what do we got? Can we help these people? Can we help these idiots?

• 52:04Speaker 06

  What's up, Saban Aldis? Hopefully the healthiest bros too.

• 52:07Stavros Halkias?

  Can't hear you dumbass.

• 52:08Speaker 06

  I have a relationship question for you guys. I've been in a relationship about three-

• 52:14Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, we got it.

• 52:18Speaker 06

  What's up, Saban Aldis? Hopefully the healthiest bros too. I have a relationship question for you guys. I've been in a relationship about three years now. I was originally about 300 pounds when we got together. I'm now a 180-ish.

• 52:33Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, nice dude.

• 52:34Speaker 06

  My question is, I wanna get on gear. But, my girlfriend is staunchly against it. And I'm willing to play the long game here. Hopefully hop on TRT. I'm 29 years old now.

• 52:47Stavros Halkias?

  29?

• 52:48Speaker 06

  My question is, how do you think the best way for me to go about

• 52:54Speaker 06

  warming her up to that idea? Alright guys, thank you.

• 52:57Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about? Why do you wanna be on fucking gear, bro? You're 29. That's nuts. His girl, he's mad his girlfriend doesn't want him to do steroids. She's worried about you, it's an unhealthy thing to do. You've done a great job losing weight, you should be proud of that, but like-

• 53:16Speaker 04

  I wish his girlfriend was the one writing in about this issue and then I could tell her to dump you.

• 53:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, you're fucking nuts, like, what the fuck are you talking about? She should, she's staunchly against it because it's bad for you. You've done a great job getting healthy. Um, are you gonna be a fuck- what, what do you get out of this? You wanna be the jacked, the most jacked guy at fucking Office Depot? Who gives a fuck? Um, you wanna be the classic T-Mobile jacked guy? Like, you have a, you have a good relationship. You've lost weight, you've been together three years. This is like- And I know it, it's not exactly the same, but this is like being like, "I really wanna get into pills, but my girlfriend is against it." It's like, unless you have a reason to be, unless you have some kind of like, you know, hormone deficiency.

• 54:09Stavros Halkias?

  Like, it's been shown that this shit is bad for you. You'll prob- and even, let's say you just get jacked, like, you will have probably anger issues, like- This is, unless you're competing, like, doing steroids is, at your age is not smart. Now, TRT when you're older? Seems like fifty year old guys get to like continue to feel young like that's one thing that you know I'm not gonna dismiss outright but at twenty nine You're not a professional bodybuilder all this will do is be expensive and maybe like You know detrimental to your health like

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Fuck yourself loser

• 54:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude have you maxed out what you can do without gear like are you really working out that hard We're basically we're completely on her side you're fucking stupid um it must be maybe it's weird you probably got loose skin and you feel weird about it but

• 55:06Speaker 04

  He's trying to brag to us

• 55:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah yeah yeah he called in he was like I'm not as fat as you guys I used to be but not anymore Don't get on gear unless there's some medical reason for it especially if your girlfriend's against it staunchly against it

• 55:21Speaker 04

  Staunchly oh

• 55:25Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah man

• 55:26Speaker 04

  Fuck the muscle gain ain't go to be scholar I'm staunchly against it what shall I ever do Scarlett

• 55:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude don't get on gear that's fucking nuts Although I would like to get on gear personally I mean I get it I get the fantasy of it It's like it's like if your girl was like I wanna get a fucking crazy BBL and big fake tits It's the male equivalent of that it's like yeah you wanna look fucking awesome

• 55:56Speaker 04

  I don't know but I feel like these huge asses to where the fact that there's like ass cleavage Like I feel like our caveman in instincts kick in because the like first glance I'm like oh that's not And then my and then my brain tells me nah

• 56:14Stavros Halkias?

  Too much why

• 56:15Speaker 04

  Because like I I feel like my animal instincts like is telling me that it's like not real Just like if you ever grabbed like fake tits.

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 56:24Speaker 04

  Like you wanna get turned on, you see the tits, they look nice and then your brain kinda goes like.

• 56:32Stavros Halkias?

  I have never had that issue with fake tits personally.

• 56:35Speaker 04

  Really?

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm simple enough that if the titties look, this is the thing, sometimes fake tits from a purely aesthetic. They stay kinda hard, like when you're fucking someone, they kinda stay perfect in a weird uncanny way, but. My dumb brain's like, nice, two fucking tits that are right there. And I don't mind the grab, I think it's fun. I'm a man of science. So when I grab a fake tit, I'm like, thank you. Thank you, Dr. Fauci for making this possible.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  That, that goes against all I stand for, because when a girl is bent over and the fucking, the gravity physics of, of. Natural tits when a girl's bent over.

• 57:13Stavros Halkias?

  Those are awesome, yeah.

• 57:14Speaker 04

  It's just like, that's the best part about.

• 57:16Stavros Halkias?

  That actually, that is actually an awesome, yeah, the, the bent over titty hang is awesome. I, I agree with you. Now, I see your point. And my biggest issue with BBLs, having dabbled, is that my dick is too little.

• 57:32Stavros Halkias?

  Those huge asses swallow up my little ass dick. And that's, that's why I have to really do some. Some real maneuvering to keep the big ass cheeks from fucking sliding down and just absolute, it's like an avalanche. You know, it's like an avalanche and my dick disappears, you know, when, when those big butt cheeks come down, so, but. I'm, you know, personally, I'm a, I am an admirer of what science is capable of.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  We have the technology.

• 58:01Stavros Halkias?

  We have the technology, let's push, let's push it to the limit.

• 58:04Speaker 05

  Get the bionic BBLs going.

• 58:08Speaker 04

  Bro, yeah, I mean, I don't mind the asses that much, but it's just the face, the face surgery.

• 58:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the face, yeah, sure. That's, that's true.

• 58:16Speaker 04

  That's where it gets a little bit.

• 58:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get some big fake tits, some big fake asses, but keep that face natural.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  It's also like the brain that goes behind it, like what type of human being this is. I'm not talking about just fucking, but I'm talking about like. The brain behind the woman with the fake fucking surgery, fake face, fake tits, fake ass, like.

• 58:34Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 58:35Speaker 04

  How is she for drinks?

• 58:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. Too, if you're too worried about your appearance, are you investing in yourself in any other way?

• 58:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:45Stavros Halkias?

  Sort of thing.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  It's just like what goes on in your mind and how is your personality?

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right, if all you value is how you look, what else, is there nothing else?

• 58:53Speaker 04

  Can you imagine being blown away by a woman's personality that had the fakest face you've ever seen? Fakest tits, fakest ass?

• 59:00Stavros Halkias?

  It would be interesting. I think that's a rare breed.

• 59:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:04Stavros Halkias?

  I think that some of them are out there.

• 59:06Speaker 04

  To start injecting some dope personalities in these fake bitches.

• 59:11Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe I'm a much more of a simpleton than you, cuz I'm like, fake tits. I'm like, I'm hearing that, I'm like, I, it'll take me a while. It'll take me like dating that person for a month to realize, hmm, what is her personality?

• 59:28Stavros Halkias?

  I do think, I do think that we have gotten to a point where like, more, way more people are sort of like doing some minor stuff, like almost everybody does something these days. Cuz it's gotten, the technology has gotten kinda good enough, like, how many friends, I don't know if you, if you feel this way, but I feel like all my dude friends, no one, no one is a fucking, no one has the desire, no one has the fucking guts to go bald anymore. All these fucking guys are getting fake hair, you know what I mean, like? And, and that's the same thing with like, oh, this is the light up one, I just realized.

• 1:00:01Stavros Halkias?

  And I feel like the same thing with like, like filler, they've kinda figured it out where it's not, usually if you're light about it, it doesn't go crazy, so. I think we're finding more people, but I take your point though.

• 1:00:14Speaker 04

  My friend, my friend that I'm hanging out with this week is, is bald, but he's like, he's like bald, he's like a handsome, like, like really tall, like. And he was like meant to be bald.

• 1:00:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  So I don't think he's ever.

• 1:00:26Stavros Halkias?

  The right angular.

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. Shout out to Joe.

• 1:00:29Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to just Sexy Joe. Sexy Q, that's Sexy Q Ball.

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but yeah, I'm with you though, that's, that is a good point.

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  Funny, everybody flies to Turkey for hair transplant and shit.

• 1:00:41Stavros Halkias?

  Turks have figured that out.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  Get some pomegranate juice and some hair.

• 1:00:46Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna get plugs when I'm like sixty-five years old. I'm gonna zag. That's always been my, that's always been my move.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  It's your character.

• 1:00:55Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, what else we got, LD?

• 1:00:57Speaker 07

  Dobby, alright.

• 1:01:00Speaker 07

  I broke up with my girl, or me and my girl fell apart.

• 1:01:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:05Speaker 07

  A month ago. And I started seeing this new girl. And she's like, you know, five, five, hundred and twenty pounds, loves to work out. And she's like, gauze, with a lot of like miniskirts, like tights. She wore a collar in my first day with her.

• 1:01:24Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:01:24Speaker 07

  Like, I'm about it. It's awesome. It's fucking dope. But she also has this like, you know, anti-establishment. Patriarchy thing going on. So like, she doesn't wanna like shave the legs.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  Is this ChatGPT?

• 1:01:42Speaker 07

  She doesn't like to like.

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  The fuck is this?

• 1:01:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's a lot of these guys, man. A lot of these calls are like this.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  ChatGPT, can you write this long simp message about me and my girl?

• 1:01:59Speaker 04

  And instantly it's like, yes, here's nine paragraphs.

• 1:02:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, oh, we've been doing this a lot. ChatGPT is mostly used for this. Uh.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Okay, sorry to interrupt.

• 1:02:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. Feel free to interrupt.

• 1:02:11Speaker 07

  She doesn't wanna like shave the legs.

• 1:02:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:14Speaker 07

  She doesn't like to like wear deodorant.

• 1:02:16Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:17Speaker 07

  Um.

• 1:02:20Speaker 07

  And I'm just like, I don't really know how I feel about it, you know, cause like, I get it.

• 1:02:24Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:02:25Speaker 07

  I wouldn't wanna shave my legs either, fuck that. But like her legs get like almost hairier than mine. So I'm just kinda like, I don't really know. How to feel about it. And it's like authentically her. So I don't wanna like pressure her to like change this thing about her.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 07

  But that tail is good, you know, like that shit is fucking top tier.

• 1:02:53Speaker 07

  So what are you thinking, man? I just don't really know where to go from here.

• 1:02:57Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:02:58Speaker 04

  Get her a fucking razor for Christmas.

• 1:03:01Stavros Halkias?

  This is awesome.

• 1:03:02Speaker 04

  And be like, you could use this one or two ways.

• 1:03:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, whatever. Oh, I just found this. Um, yeah, this is so funny because this question boils down to like, I'm dating someone and I don't like a couple traits of hers. Should I accept her anyway? Or should I do? Like, what are your options here?

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  All I know is your answer is the right one.

• 1:03:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, it's like, I got good news for you. If you try and pressure a girl like this, she will relish breaking up with you. She's waiting. She would, she's waiting for some fu- for like a straight guy that she's dating to be like, mm, why don't you adhere to some beauty standards? She'd be like, fuck you, you don't tell me what to do. Either way, either whether you go along with it or whether you fucking tell her to shave her legs and she tells you to fuck off, it'll be good for her. Like, you're not changing this girl.

• 1:03:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:58Stavros Halkias?

  You got nothing here. She's the one who's pussy so good, you're like, you, a guy who's ne- you've actually started thinking about feminism. This girl's pussy so good that you're like, hey, yeah, I don't want to shave my legs either.

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  I mean, he could break her confidence. He could start thinking about dead people in the bedroom and his dick will be soft. And he'll be like, I don't know, it's just, honey, it's just the legs.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  It's just, it's just my animal instincts, my brain. But you're really sexy, but my, my pee pee, it can't get harder.

• 1:04:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, I mean, you're just, this is just.

• 1:04:32Speaker 05

  You hear it in his voice. She knows she's got him on the razor's edge and it's like,

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  No pun intended.

• 1:04:40Speaker 05

  And it's like, hey, man, this is the big leagues. If you want hot goth pussy.

• 1:04:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this comes with, this comes with, and look, I'm not saying it doesn't, other, but other, is it other types of, uh, you know, goth pussy isn't available, but it's like, whatever this guy, girl's got going on, she sounds awesome and it's like, you're just gonna have to put up with some hairy legs if that, I mean, some people, it sounds like it's not a problem for him as of yet, you know what I mean?

• 1:05:06Speaker 04

  I think the underarms is even more cringe to me. When people, when girls make videos and they, they let it fly and I'm just like.

• 1:05:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of the two, I would have, I would actually prefer the arms to me personally.

• 1:05:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think so, yeah.

• 1:05:19Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I gotta have a, uh, look, I'm a, I don't think, I honestly don't think as mu- you know, at a certain point, it's just what you can, what you want to put up with and it's like, or what you're, it's like, hey, do what you want, but it's not for me. I think, um, you know, not shaved legs. And it's, I'm not saying like, you know, a girl's gotta fucking get a wax every day, but I just like, I'm a little old fashioned. You get some hairy armpits, great, but shaved legs, I feel like I'm gonna need personally.

• 1:05:50Speaker 05

  Um, yeah.

• 1:05:51Stavros Halkias?

  But hey, that's up to you. And, uh, you know.

• 1:05:55Speaker 05

  I wonder how old she is, not to call this a phase or something.

• 1:05:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. I do know, I do know girls who like, definitely have a rebellious, like.

• 1:06:03Speaker 05

  How many girls who did this in their twenties, like, kept it up, like, into their thirties? Uh, not that this will last more than like a few months, clearly from the, from the dynamic.

• 1:06:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  I mean, she is anti-establishment, so maybe she makes TikToks of her protests, like, you know.

• 1:06:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's possible. She could get, uh, you know, she'd get diss- under the Trump administration, if she's at a protest, maybe they black bag her, put her in, take her to Guantanamo Bay for being at a anti-Israel.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  And the shaved legs, you know, there'd be a problem there.

• 1:06:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So, yeah, man, it's funny because there's really no question here.

• 1:06:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's just like, I like this, uh, this girl, I like this girl, I just wish she shaved her legs. And it's like, okay, the fuck do you want me to do about that?

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  Like, it's about, is he gonna deal with it or not? He's the only one who could answer that.

• 1:06:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no, there's nothing to be done other than accepting this person as they are.

• 1:07:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Stavros Halkias?

  Or not dating them. And my hunch is she'll probably, uh, dump you, so it won't be a big issue. But hey, good luck out there, buddy.

• 1:07:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. If he gets dumped, he could just constantly text her, girls with the shaved legs and be like, damn, she's so sexy.

• 1:07:16Stavros Halkias?

  She's so smooth. You like a goth? What, what's, uh, what's, do you have a, a type, Andy?

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  I really like Japanese girls a lot.

• 1:07:25Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, respect.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Stavros Halkias?

  With.

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  They're like, they're just.

• 1:07:29Stavros Halkias?

  With regular tits, with non-fake tits.

• 1:07:32Speaker 04

  It's not just like the looks, it's like the demeanor and they're like, the only problem I have is when you're in Japan.

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  World War Pearl Harbor.

• 1:07:44Speaker 04

  And then Hiroshima, I actually went to the Hiroshima Peace Museum.

• 1:07:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh whoa.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  And it was fucking dark, man.

• 1:07:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, of course.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  I didn't know there was gonna be so many personal, very personal stories there. But, the problem is...

• 1:07:58Stavros Halkias?

  Your dick's hard at the Hiroshima museum?

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  No, the problem with the language barrier is it's all small talk. And after a while, like, you know, small talk, small talk, small talk, small talk. It's hard to have like a real spark when it's just all small talk, when there's a language barrier.

• 1:08:15Stavros Halkias?

  A language barrier is tough in general.

• 1:08:17Speaker 04

  I mean, we're like flirting with Google fucking translating shit, like, you know what I mean like that?

• 1:08:22Stavros Halkias?

  Are you gonna be an expat man? You gonna go there? You gonna wear a short kimono? With your Japanese wife?

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  I don't really like weeb's and like the whole like anime obsessed. Like, there are a couple anime movies I like, but the anime obsessed, when their whole personality is that? Like, I don't like that. I like, I just, how Japan works as a society? And just how people behave.

• 1:08:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty orderly.

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, some of it is, is, is scary on like a work level.

• 1:08:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, everyone killing themselves, cuz they, cuz they've brought dishonor to their boss.

• 1:08:56Speaker 04

  But on a personal level, it's like, it's like super respectful and kind and sweet, you know? And I, I fuck with that.

• 1:09:04Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there, aren't they-

• 1:09:05Speaker 04

  These white bitches out here could never-

• 1:09:08Stavros Halkias?

  Passport bro Andy Milonakis is going to Japan.

• 1:09:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, I've, uh, it does feel, Japan is so interesting because, everything you said is true, there's so much respect and all this other shit, but then, their culture is like, they work too hard, none of them are fucking it seems like, like they have a negative birth rate.

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Stavros Halkias?

  They're all like too, like, and it's this weird thing where it's like, yeah, that's, it's honestly the polar oppos-

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  I'll help you fix that problem.

• 1:09:36Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's the thing. It's the polar opposite of Greek culture. Where it's like, no one works at all, but everybody's fucking fucking and having a good time and getting drunk and sitting on the beach.

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  I call my cousin, I'm like, I'm coming to Greece. You wanna go to a few islands? He's like, yeah. I'm like, it's gonna be like 12 days. He's like, I was like, do you got work? He goes, I can do work when I get back.

• 1:09:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. Maybe you're onto something. Maybe Greece and Japan, if you take the two extremes, it just makes a functioning society. You know what I mean? It's like, if you get that.

• 1:10:05Speaker 04

  It's funny, cause those are my two favorite countries on earth.

• 1:10:08Stavros Halkias?

  And they could not be more different, honestly. That's so interesting. That's so, I never thought about how we are basically the exact opposite of Japan. And I, I fuck with Japan too. I loved, I loved it over there. It is funny, cause they also have this very polite racism. It is a very racist place, but they're just like, no, you can't, no, only Japanese people here. But they're smiling. And they, like, I knew somebody who lived there, and the landlord was like, and of course, we're gonna charge you 600 extra dollars, cause you're white and not Japanese. And they're like, what? And they're like, well, yeah, I mean, so like a foreigner's tax.

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  And the real estate person, you have to pay like fucking 10K as like a thank you for like, it's a, it's very annoying and expensive to like, um, rent a place there.

• 1:10:54Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, yeah, sounds good, man. You gotta fucking bring, bring some grease, some grease into Japan. I love it. Yeah, yeah. Um, alright, what else we got, Eldis?

• 1:11:05Speaker 06

  Hey, Doug, big fan of the show. Um, I got up to some shenanigans at the company Christmas party this past weekend. Um, you know, one thing led to another, accidentally hooked up with a coworker.

• 1:11:22Stavros Halkias?

  Accidentally, huh?

• 1:11:23Speaker 06

  Um, she doesn't work for me, but she's definitely a level below me and on the same team, so we work fairly closely. Um.

• 1:11:32Stavros Halkias?

  She is

• 1:11:36Stavros Halkias?

  ten, eight years older than me, maybe? Nice. I'm twenty six. Um. Sex is great, so I definitely want to keep doing it, but not.

• 1:11:47Stavros Halkias?

  She's an intern from the local middle school.

• 1:11:51Speaker 04

  I read it quick, it's like, she's ten.

• 1:11:56Stavros Halkias?

  Great, so I definitely want to keep doing it, but not sure if I should and what the repercussions might be. Would love your advice. Thanks. Wow, cla- this is classic stuff. This is like, this is the stuff that I'm mad I didn't have a regular job at any point in my life because I never really got to experience the office holiday party. Um, I'm sure, I mean, it sounds like maybe you didn't either, right? You were kind of just bouncing around. Did you ever go to a classic office holiday party?

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  Not really, no.

• 1:12:26Stavros Halkias?

  Not really. Eldis, you're the only one, huh?

• 1:12:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, I went to a few holiday parties, uh.

• 1:12:31Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever take any shots at a coworker?

• 1:12:33Speaker 05

  I never did. The, the like.

• 1:12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Pussy.

• 1:12:37Speaker 05

  The holiday parties, I, most of them, like, I was already in a relationship, but.

• 1:12:42Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, I see, I see.

• 1:12:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, people were getting fucked up and you could tell.

• 1:12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Was there ever some drama? Was there ever some, we found out? Did you ever gossip at all?

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  No, I never heard about any drama or anything, but. In the moment, you could tell.

• 1:12:55Speaker 04

  Did you write this question?

• 1:12:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, I fucked Stav last weekend.

• 1:13:00Stavros Halkias?

  Our holiday party, me, you are two editors.

• 1:13:11Stavros Halkias?

  We should have a Stavvy Baby Enterprises holiday party. It's just.

• 1:13:15Speaker 05

  Probably won't like get to it till like late January or something.

• 1:13:18Stavros Halkias?

  Not like March somehow. We do it on the road.

• 1:13:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Um, okay, this is a classic thing here, buddy. Now, my hunch is to say it's sort of like, uh, Vegas rules of like, whatever happens at the holiday party stays at the holiday party. And that if you had just, my hunch is like, look, just take the free pussy, the free Christmas pussy and move on. Don't make this a thing. This is the cleanest way to go about this. Move on, whatever, but.

• 1:13:54Stavros Halkias?

  You know, he's twenty six.

• 1:13:56Speaker 04

  None of this shit fucking matters like the thing is like. I think people are so caught up with like societal rules like ob- obviously don't break the law and don't be like a fucking. Rapist serial fucking killer but like when it comes to like this might not be the right thing to do but I kinda did it anyway is it okay? Like, bro, we're fucking animals, man. You fuck some chick, keep fucking her or don't.

• 1:14:27Stavros Halkias?

  Right, what do you ultimately want? I ca- I'm with you where it's like, you know. They sa- he, it's not like he really has that much power over her. The fact that she's older is kind of fun. Uh, the fact that it's kind of bad, like kinda naughty is probably fun. Your options are basically like. The he- the negatives are. What if, what if she, like, what if somebody catches feelings like it just becomes much messier when you're working together? Cause the thing is, most relationships like this don't work, right? And it's like, are you, ultimately it comes down to what is better, the pussy or the job? Like, you're twenty six, do you really care about this job? Do you have a foot out the door anyway?

• 1:15:12Stavros Halkias?

  Um, do you wanna work here long term? If so, probably shouldn't keep fucking her. But if, if not, who cares?

• 1:15:21Speaker 04

  Just keep fucking her, like, when you're, when you're sixty, are you gonna remember, wow, and I lasted an extra three years at this job? Are you gonna remember fucking some fucking MILF?

• 1:15:32Stavros Halkias?

  It was cool to fuck, yes. It was cool to fuck someone ten years older than you. That is cool. Um. But does she want that also is the other thing, you know what I mean? Like, we only have hit, like. It's very possible this woman's like, well, that was fun. Like, I feel like this is a classic move. People just fuck at the party and then pretend. It's like The Purge. It's the sexual purge, the holiday party. And so, take your cues from her. Does she seem down? Does she wanna keep it casual? If not, do you wanna date this person? If that's the case, are you down to have a secret little romance? And do you care about your job? How much do you care about your job? Personally, if I was twenty six, I got some pussy from a thirty-four-year-old.

• 1:16:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna keep trying to fuck her. I just am, but I also never cared about my job at any point in my life, so.

• 1:16:25Speaker 05

  I feel like because she is thirty-four, he just needs to like play it cool no matter what and like, you know. If you're, if you're like a thirty-four-year-old chick fucking like a twenty-six-year-old guy, you know what's up and you're probably not looking to like settle down with your coworker.

• 1:16:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right. So. That's probably true. I al- I often feel like usually in these situations, I feel like it's the younger man who catches feelings. Cause the woman's like, well, no, obviously I'm just using you for that youthful prick. I don't wanna fucking settle down with your stupid ass. Although this lady is a sub- works underneath him, so she might be a dummy. So who knows? Lot of variables it comes down to. Do you care about the job more than you care about getting slurped off? You're gonna have to do that math yourself, pal. We don't, we can't tell. We can't tell you. Damn, I would have loved to fuck a lady in my office. I never did.

• 1:17:16Stavros Halkias?

  Couple nice, couple more nice ones here, Eldis?

• 1:17:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, this is a longer one, but it's awesome.

• 1:17:21Stavros Halkias?

  Alright.

• 1:17:25Speaker 07

  Thank you so much for all that you do. Um, I'm twenty-four and my boyfriend is thirty-two. And one of the first questions he asked me is if I've ever had a threesome. And I have. I've had two and uh, he particularly had issues with the threesome that I had with two guys. He asked me for more information about it.

• 1:17:51Stavros Halkias?

  Uh-oh.

• 1:17:51Speaker 07

  And I initially lied.

• 1:17:53Stavros Halkias?

  Sound the cuck alarm. This guy hates it because he fucking loves it. He wants to watch you get fucked by two guys, but anyway.

• 1:18:03Speaker 07

  He asked me for more information about it. And I initially lied to him because of the look on his face. He was very upset that I had I had a threesome with two guys and. I had lied and said that I um did it with people that I knew and then like a a month or so in I was like hey I lied to you um I actually like I didn't know these guys

• 1:18:31Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares?

• 1:18:31Speaker 07

  So like I I and this stems from I lied about my body count

• 1:18:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god Who's out who asks about body count this guy This is crazy to ask about a body count like early on is

• 1:18:45Speaker 05

  You're thirty two and she's twenty four

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  You're thirty two and she's twenty four oh I didn't even think about that if you're that age and you're asking a twenty four year old about her body count Come on man what the fuck are we doing here the whole point is you're like you're supposed to Aren't you supposed to be like a fucking mature guy who knows this shit doesn't matter but in reality this is a guy who didn't fuck when he was twenty four And he's just seething that also she didn't know him who cares what she was up to before you like that's crazy anyway

• 1:19:15Speaker 04

  I think we've like Devolved as humans not just like you know in in every single aspect

• 1:19:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah yeah yeah

• 1:19:24Speaker 04

  Not not that whole like crude thing was perfect like back in the day was like My lady can I take you out on a date and you hold their hand and like

• 1:19:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah courting

• 1:19:34Speaker 04

  Yeah courting

• 1:19:35Stavros Halkias?

  Traditional courting

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  And she you might not get a kiss on the first day

• 1:19:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah yeah yeah

• 1:19:39Speaker 04

  Like The thing is like

• 1:19:44Speaker 04

  Certain things about that seem old fashioned and whack but also I think there's a thing called sexual tension that is actually important

• 1:19:53Stavros Halkias?

  Sure

• 1:19:54Speaker 04

  When when these motherfucking kids are like Adults whatever are like swiping on Tinder and the person just shows up and you instantly fuck them and then they leave like

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  That's not as hot.

• 1:20:08Stavros Halkias?

  I agree with you, there there is definitely like an immediacy that does cheapen things a little bit. Um, I definitely feel that way about like. My personal, uh, let's say dating life is like, I I li- yeah, there's something nice about going on a couple of dates. Kinda like, or even even the like, meeting somebody. And like, building up attention over time, like, you know, that's.

• 1:20:31Speaker 04

  And just like, you don't even know if you're gonna to hook up at all.

• 1:20:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe you won't, you know.

• 1:20:35Speaker 04

  And then like.

• 1:20:35Stavros Halkias?

  Longing is very powerful.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then when it happens, it's just like, i- it's like. Then it bec- can become like magical almost.

• 1:20:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  But like, when it's just like. And this might be an unfair thing about this paragraph specifically, but like. I was just thinking about like how how it is these days.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I I agree with you in general, but I also think like, hey, at the same time. If you're gonna go have some fun that doesn't really matter, you know what I mean, like? Yeah, like if I were to meet someone in a way that you're describing, where it's like. Kinda, you know, kinda nice, uh, and a relationship evolves over time. I'm not asking her how many guys she's fucked.

• 1:21:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 1:21:14Stavros Halkias?

  And I don't want her to ask me how many women I fucked. It's like, that's not what this shit is about, like.

• 1:21:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:19Stavros Halkias?

  We both are adults who have had. You know, separate lives, we didn't really know each other.

• 1:21:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:24Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, whatever, it's like, that's pretty much. It's like, what is the issue there? What are you worried about that it's like? Yeah, do you like this person or not? That's what's important, cuz nobody, it's not like everybody knows how many people. Are you worried about people judging them, judging you? Either way, you're worried about the wrong shit. You're not worried about your actual relationship. Um, and it's like, it's also to like, get your feelings hurt that your girl. Was a freak before she met you is kinda strange to me too, it's like. Anyway, let's figure out, let's let's get to the absolute bottom of this cuz it's very interesting to me. Count, and um, he was kinda like sniffed out the lie, um.

• 1:22:05Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I'm already feeling bad for this, but he, uh, then, um, you know, w- we got. Over the lying thing, he understood why I lied initially. And then he was um just upset that I had had this threesome with two guys that I didn't know. I met them at the club. You know, I went home with them. I told him, you know, he he asked me, well, why did you go home with these guys? And you know, it's like, well, I was, well, I mean, you know, when I'm single, like, and I I really vibed with them and um. Basically, it's we're kind of into our relationship and um he can't get over it. And um he wants a threesome.

• 1:22:48Stavros Halkias?

  And last night at dinner, he brought up, hey, would you ever like, would you ever had a threesome with me? And I told him, well, you know, we've had this discourse about issues of like, you know, I when I had a threesome. You know, when I was single, but like enjoying that with you, I I I'm not sure if you're over that issue.

• 1:23:05Stavros Halkias?

  I I just feel really judged by this guy who's um older than me if. And that wants to do something that I've done. Uh, I was wrong for lying at the beginning. I mean. I'm wondering, uh, is this a, is this a flag? What's happening? Did I start off wrong because I lied and it it muddied, muddied, muddied the way? Um, I don't know, Stabby. Uh, I love you. I love you, Elvis. And uh, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Bye. Yeah, I mean, so this is.

• 1:23:41Stavros Halkias?

  Like, okay, the lying, she clearly feels so guilty over something that I wouldn't feel that guilt. Like, it's a minor thing, right? He put you in a, he asked you an uncomfortable question that you you were probably caught off by, caught off guard by. Yeah. And then you saw that he was gonna, that it was gonna hurt his feelings and you lied. Okay, and then you apologized for it. And you explained why it happened. I wouldn't feel guilty about that. I personally think it is weird as fuck to ask somebody that you dated. Very specific, pointed questions about their sexual history. I think it's weird on him. And look, if it comes up, you guys have been together, you're more secure.

• 1:24:23Stavros Halkias?

  But he's almost like screening you and and seeing if like you're worthwhile or whatever. And it's like, did you do something wrong here? No, you were single, you had a fucking, you're not the type, it's not like you're the type of person who just like. Every weekend went out and fucked two strangers.

• 1:24:40Speaker 04

  But isn't this the norm now? I feel like most people are just trash humans.

• 1:24:46Stavros Halkias?

  I wouldn't call her a trash human.

• 1:24:48Speaker 04

  No, no, not her. Like the people, like the people who just like are pressing their girls like, "I'm an evil boss, you're worthy." Just like, like not everybody, but I feel like these types of like situations. Where it's not always the guy that causes the drama, obviously it's the girl too.

• 1:25:05Stavros Halkias?

  It goes both ways, yeah.

• 1:25:06Speaker 04

  I feel like more times than not, there's shitty stuff happening in relationships more than like good.

• 1:25:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I think you're right. And I think like even her feeling like she's done something wrong here and not being like, "Hey, you've been really insecure and weird about a random thing I did when I was young and having a fun time and like, Would I do it every weekend? No. It's like, but I don't want to feel judged because I experimented sexually when I was just having a good time."

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's not the energy I need from my boyfriend. You clearly are insecure about it. It's stemming from something I don't understand. You're taking it out on me. And now you want to have a threesome in a way that feels almost punitive maybe? Like almost feels like, "Well, you fucked two guys before you knew me, so now I get to fuck you and a girl and then we're even."

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:56Stavros Halkias?

  It'll never be even. That, like, there's no even. There's no even like competition here.

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  Nah, he'll still bring it up after that.

• 1:26:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, ah, this guy, there's some strange going on. I definitely wouldn't have, if I were you, I wouldn't feel, don't do anything you're, you don't want to do. Don't feel pressured. You did not, you did, you did nothing wrong.

• 1:26:19Stavros Halkias?

  And this guy seems very insecure, right? Like, and it's like, you know, at the same time, a little element of usually if you're like, you're dating a hot woman, you're just going to assume she's fucked more people than you. And that's the way life is, man. And it's like, if you can't accept that, if this guy's like, "Well, I'm, I've waited, all the girls my age fucked more than me, but maybe if I get one young enough, I'll have fucked more than her." And it's like, if he's got that weird. I I am feeling some red flags from this guy in terms of insecurity. In terms of, you know, guilting him and maybe, maybe the way you respond to him, clearly you're feeling guilty for something. You didn't do anything fucking wrong because you had a nice time.

• 1:27:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:02Stavros Halkias?

  Like, would he have fucked two girls if he could have? Yes. He just didn't have that available to him. So he's basically, it's like kinda jealous, you know what I mean?

• 1:27:11Speaker 04

  A hard no and just say that was, that was in my past, I don't wanna do that anymore, like a hard no. And see his reaction, that could be your answer of like.

• 1:27:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he, he would probably flip out. Oh, so you could fuck two guys, but you can't fuck me and another girl?

• 1:27:25Speaker 04

  And that might be your answer to be like, okay, peace out.

• 1:27:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, we don't have in all the information, but everything I'm catching here is like. This guy kinda sucks.

• 1:27:34Speaker 05

  He sounds like a bitch.

• 1:27:35Stavros Halkias?

  He sounds like a bitch, he sounds like he's like judging you and it's like you don't want that from somebody you're dating. Uh, and you seem like a pretty, like a wildly reasonable person. Like, she's trying to talk things out. It's funny that you're the, you sounds like you're the mature one and he's thirty two.

• 1:27:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, break up with him and then in two days, just write on social media, just had a threesome, it was the best night of my life.

• 1:27:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go find two of his friends, fuck that, get, get Eiffel Towered by them, that'll show them.

• 1:28:07Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude, that sucks. This fucking guy. But you're right, there is like a weird like, all this men's rights shit, all this like weird like red pill shit of like. Women have to be subservient and have value to a man.

• 1:28:22Speaker 04

  Just like those podcasts, like we just gotta start shaming every woman. You're not a ten, you're a three, rank yourself, you rank yourself a ten? You're a fucking two and you're a whore and you have to cook for your fucking husband, you dirty slut.

• 1:28:41Speaker 04

  That's a podcast.

• 1:28:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's so weird.

• 1:28:43Speaker 05

  That some guy was zero swag whatsoever.

• 1:28:45Stavros Halkias?

  No swag, just like mad. I don't know what the fuck's going on. Um, yeah, those are so, those, that's a very odd, that's a very odd like, uh, I mean, I guess on some level, it is, it does, it is like kinda incelly rage or like, there is like, some women have gotten rich by, instead of being exploited by others, they just are like, well, I'm going to exploit my own body and make millions of dollars. And I think like, got some of those got, like, that's part of what's angering a lot of people and then just like, you know, how you can't, some, like, hot, hot women used to need dumb, like, those podcast hosts used to be like,

• 1:29:28Stavros Halkias?

  pimps and like managers. And that kinda guy still weirdly exists where they're like trying to be like online pimps or whatever, but there's definitely like a, a type of rage pointed towards women that I don't, I don't fully understand what the fuck's going on. I mean, it could just be that a lot of guys are, they don't have like options and they feel like they're not getting pussy and they're like, instead of working on myself.

• 1:29:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's not me, it's women who are the problem.

• 1:29:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, manipulation works like both ways, right? I mean, there are some like really fucking pleasant male human beings who are just getting manipulated and just like, toxic ass fucking females.

• 1:30:07Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. That's also a tale as old as time.

• 1:30:09Speaker 04

  But, I mean, the influx of like the incel population and just like, be horribly rude and fucking weird and fucked up to like females, that's like, a big uprising in the population as well. And it's interesting too, cause different cultures have different ways of like, like fucking up relationships, like, you know, like in Japan, they might be like, look down, don't ever look at a man. In fucking Muslim countries, your, your female has to be completely covered head to toe.

• 1:30:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:41Speaker 04

  Like, there, there's always ways to make relationships uh, uneven and fucked up and different cultures have different ways of doing that, you know? And America is just like a hodgepodge of just being a horrible fucking person.

• 1:30:54Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, for sure.

• 1:30:55Speaker 04

  In some way, like.

• 1:30:56Stavros Halkias?

  And don't, listen, make funny videos online if you're a fat guy that wants to get pussy. I think I speak for me and Andy. I think I speak for both of us, where I'm like, be a pleasant guy and make a funny video. You'll get some pussy, man, or work on whatever your skill is. And that's, that's the actual secret.

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  Um.

• 1:31:17Speaker 04

  You can't have the mind of a fat guy.

• 1:31:18Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. Yeah.

• 1:31:21Speaker 04

  In your mind, you're like fucking Brad Pitt level confidence.

• 1:31:25Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly. And offer something fun for them, man.

• 1:31:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, and don't be, don't be a fat guy that smells and has stains on their shirts and shit.

• 1:31:33Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 1:31:36Speaker 04

  That's a, that's a no-no.

• 1:31:37Stavros Halkias?

  Hygiene's important for sure.

• 1:31:39Speaker 04

  Because then you seem like a fat guy.

• 1:31:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:41Speaker 04

  Do you ever see fat guys like come in like a nice restaurant and they're just like so well dressed?

• 1:31:46Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  And just like, everything's look perfect, but they're fat.

• 1:31:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 04

  And they're like, that guy has aura.

• 1:31:54Stavros Halkias?

  He's got an air about him, absolutely. I love being that fat guy. I love, I love doing that for certain, sometimes you're like, oh, what's going on there?

• 1:32:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:02Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, that's what's important, boys. Work on yourselves, then you'll get pussy, we promise. We did it, look at us. Next question.

• 1:32:10Speaker 04

  We're about to have a threesome after this.

• 1:32:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're gonna fuck that girl.

• 1:32:16Stavros Halkias?

  Hit us something to take us home, Eldis, what do you say?

• 1:32:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, here's something in the more sex positive direction.

• 1:32:21Stavros Halkias?

  Perfect.

• 1:32:23Speaker 07

  Hi, Tommy, I hope you're doing well. Um, quick question, so I've been in a relationship with a girl, um, for about five years. Um, but I am bi, so.

• 1:32:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:32:38Speaker 07

  I also listen to Tom Segura and Christina P's podcast, and about a year ago Christina went through this obsession of going airtight.

• 1:32:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:32:48Speaker 07

  And now I have that same obsession, but it's gotten so much worse, uh, the past year. I like, full on, just wanna be like gangbang by a bunch of dudes. Um, there's just an itch that isn't being scratched in this relationship currently, um. Also don't know if I ever could, just because she is a girl, um, and I'm just having so many fantasies about guys, um. So what would you do in this situation? Um, I really love this relationship, but I'm just a little bored, I guess. And it seems silly to blow up a five year relationship for a fantasy, I guess.

• 1:33:33Speaker 07

  But let me know what you think. I'm trying to keep it short. I know the girls are long with it, so.

• 1:33:39Stavros Halkias?

  Pick me behavior. Throw the other girls under the bus. No.

• 1:33:45Speaker 04

  This is the fucking chauvinistic incel podcast. Fuck all bitches. You think you're tens, but you're fucking dudes. You dumb whores.

• 1:33:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. This is a chauvinistic podcast and we're here to tell you that's God trying to get through to you. You've been living in sin and finally you're returning to what you naturally need. Um, no, I mean, look, this is pretty fun. And again, I always, I'm like, I get it as somebody who wants to fuck multiple girl, like fucking two girls at once is awesome. It's a great, it's like, so I get from the flip side wanting to be aired. If, if that's what, if being airtight feels like eating pussy while fucking a girl or getting your dick sucked or, you know, like, while sucking four titties, then that sounds awesome, right? And can you work your way up to this? Can you do a,

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  some kind of strap on situation with your girlfriend while, you know, there's a suction cup dildo to the wall that you're sucking on or something? Uh, can you, uh, approach her with like, would she want to have a threesome? Is she interested at all in getting a guy in the mix? Like, can you, you said it's a five year relationship. How sex positive are you here? Like, is she into any experimentation?

• 1:35:08Speaker 04

  Will she maybe get surgically like a dick put on her?

• 1:35:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, will your girlfriend go trans just so you can get this one sexual fantasy off?

• 1:35:21Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I guess it's, that's the question is like, how into experimenting do you think your girl might be? And can you do some stuff with, you know, lesbians love a bunch of, can you create a fuck machine? You know, I've seen those where it's like a dildo going back and forth. Well, lesbians love sexual accoutrement. You know, can you get some of those in the mix? Will that, will that scratch the itch? Do you feel comfortable telling your girl about this fantasy? Like how open with each other are you? This must be a, I wonder how, I wonder the philosophy of people that date bi people is because this is some, like I know, I've known people who have dated a bi, like I've known a woman who dated a bi guy and she was like,

• 1:36:07Stavros Halkias?

  I would let him fuck a guy every once in a while if he asked me, because that's not something I can provide. But if he fucked a girl, I would feel like that would be cheating, right?

• 1:36:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, that makes kind of sense.

• 1:36:18Stavros Halkias?

  Some people are like, some, and look, if you believe that, great, then you hit the jackpot, right? If your girl's like that. But also, another person says like, no, that's cheating. And I get that too. It's just, it's in the eye of the beholder, I think, like, I've known friends in both circumstances, so you gotta have a conversation. You could try getting airtight with some sex toys, uh, just to kind of start, feel it out, but, you know.

• 1:36:45Speaker 04

  I wonder what it feels like to be bi. Like, I feel like

• 1:36:50Stavros Halkias?

  Should we suck each other off and figure it out?

• 1:36:52Speaker 04

  I feel like the thought of sucking a dick, like, I wouldn't do it for a billion dollars.

• 1:36:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, billion.

• 1:36:57Speaker 04

  But, but I feel like getting my dick sucked by a guy, I feel like

• 1:37:01Stavros Halkias?

  Knock that down at twenty-five hundred?

• 1:37:06Speaker 04

  In my mind, I'll be like, there's a mouth sucking my dick right now. How do I not get hard?

• 1:37:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's no problem.

• 1:37:14Speaker 04

  Just because it's a guy?

• 1:37:14Stavros Halkias?

  And this is, by the way, this is when the podcast gets very Greek. When we're both like, yeah, we could get our dick sucked by guys, who cares?

• 1:37:22Speaker 04

  Like, I, I thought about this before, like, if I was in Thailand.

• 1:37:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hypothetically, speaking.

• 1:37:28Speaker 04

  Like, I've never been to Thailand before.

• 1:37:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:37:31Speaker 04

  If I went to Thailand.

• 1:37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Check his passport. Check the stamps.

• 1:37:36Speaker 04

  If I didn't know it was ladyboy and I was getting my dick sucked and then like

• 1:37:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 1:37:42Speaker 04

  And then all of a sudden she was like, I'm actually a ladyboy.

• 1:37:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:47Speaker 04

  I don't think I would just get up and leave, right?

• 1:37:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, no chance. Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's like-

• 1:37:53Speaker 05

  We have to complete this transaction.

• 1:37:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:37:56Stavros Halkias?

  My dick doesn't get any less sucked by you if I don't come.

• 1:38:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's already been sucked. Let's fi- finish this off.

• 1:38:05Speaker 04

  But like if her, if her, him dick was out, then it changes the story. Then I'm like, I gotta get out of here.

• 1:38:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess, you know, I can't, I couldn't tell you unless I got that fa- face to face with that, that prick, I couldn't tell you. I would be less enthused, certainly, but I don't know, you know? It'd be like when you get a Chick-fil-A sandwich and it has pickles, and I'm not a pickles guy. I don't like that I have to take the pickles off and then I'm tasting a little pickle juice. It makes the sandwich a little less good, but I'm still gonna finish it.

• 1:38:37Speaker 04

  Or if the chicken's too thick and it has like hard parts.

• 1:38:40Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, yeah, yeah. Exactly. It's, that's how I would see it. It's like, not my favorite, but-

• 1:38:45Speaker 04

  I don't, I'm never gonna experience this, but my thought is to try to be truthful. If a mouth was on my dick, that sounds good. But if it, if it happened to be a guy, I don't know, man.

• 1:39:02Stavros Halkias?

  I agree, Andy. I'm with you a hundred percent, dude. Um, so yeah, how flexible is your girlfriend? Could she get a, could she get in the mix a little bit?

• 1:39:12Speaker 04

  Can she bend it back?

• 1:39:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, would she like to, you know, fuck you with a strap on while a guy fucks your mouth? Who knows? There's a lot of interesting stuff to deal with here, but you know, hopefully she's as flexible as me and Andy.

• 1:39:26Stavros Halkias?

  And, uh, you know, we're rooting for you. It's nice to have these sexual fantasies and I think you can scratch the ish one way or another. But hopefully in 2025, you'll be able to get airtight with the consent of your partner.

• 1:39:40Speaker 05

  Resolution.

• 1:39:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's your res- that's our resolution for you.

• 1:39:45Stavros Halkias?

  What a beautiful year it's been, what a beautiful year it's going to be. Andy, thank you, man.

• 1:39:50Speaker 04

  Merry Christmas.

• 1:39:50Stavros Halkias?

  Merry Christmas, Happy New Year to all. And, uh, yeah, thank you, man. This is such, it was, it's a pleasure to have you on the pod. We've been big fans forever, so.

• 1:40:00Speaker 04

  Thanks, brother. It's good to finally meet you.

• 1:40:01Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Thanks, guys. We will see you next year. Bye-bye.

• 1:40:05Speaker 04

  Kala Kristu Yena.

• 1:40:06Stavros Halkias?

  Kala Kristu Yena.

• 1:40:20Speaker 01

  Hi, it's me, Your Gutters. I want to start by saying I'm fine. Everything is totally fine. There's just, there's a lot of debris up here and I've been managing it mostly on my own for about eight months now. And I just thought maybe you could find someone on Angie to clean me up? You don't have to make it a whole thing. It doesn't need to be a whole thing. I just, I could really use your help.

• 1:40:44Stavros Halkias?

  Your gutters have waited long enough. Find a pro at Angie.com.

• 1:40:50Stavros Halkias?

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• 1:41:29Stavros Halkias?

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