956. Q&AF: Self-Accountability, Leading By Example & Scaling Without Lowering Standards

On today's episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to stop lying to yourself so you can make positive change in your life, how to lead others by your actions, and how to scale your business without lowering your standards.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today, we have Q and A F, that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers.

• 0:37Andy Frisella?

  Isn't that right?

• 0:38Speaker 01

  That is, that's correct.

• 0:39Andy Frisella?

  So, why don't we tell everybody how you could submit your questions and be on the show?

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean if you guys really wanna, you know, submit questions, there's a few ways to do it. First way guys, you can email your question in to [email protected]. You guys can also check the link in the description below and submit your questions there for a chance to be on a call-in. Or, if you guys go to the Q and A F episodes on the tube, submit your questions in the comments.

• 1:08Andy Frisella?

  Now, if you're new to the show, which there always is new people, this is not just a Q and A show, okay? We have Q and A, personal development on Mondays, and then we have shows within the show throughout the week. Tomorrow, we're gonna have what's called Cruise the Internet. That's, we call it CTI. That's where we put topics on the screen, we speculate on what's going on, we talk about what might be and what might not be, and how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're gonna have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Verses. That is where someone who has completed the 75 Hard Program

• 1:47Andy Frisella?

  comes on the show, talks about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard Program to get their shit together, alright? If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, you can get the entire program for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. It's audio feed only. It's not on YouTube. Okay. Uh, that will give you the entire 75 hard program, which is the boot camp, the initial phase of the live hard program, which is the world's most popular mental transformation program ever in history. Okay. There's also a book you can buy. The book is called the book on mental toughness. You can get it andy for seller.com. It is not free, but it has

• 2:32Andy Frisella?

  a plethora. You like that word? I do like that word. Of extra information that you will not find in episode 208. So if you're like me and you want to know the nuts and bolts and the ins and outs and the whys, uh, the book is probably a better option. We have trouble keeping it stocked, so it must be pretty good. Um, again, you get that at andy for seller.com. Now, we do have this thing on the show that we call the fee and it's just very simple. All right. If you enjoy the show, if it teaches you something, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, do us a favor and don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up? Hey. How's it going? Good. Yeah. Yeah. Been waiting for this. For what? This. Why? Make people better. Oh, you've been waiting. Yeah.

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  Uh, I do want to remind people, uh, the amazing people that we do have this promo going on right now with, uh, the form energy drinks. Okay. We went to 711. We came, we saw, we conquered and we did a great job, all of us. And, uh, now we're on the second phase of this. And again, like I said last week, we're doing buy one, share one. So if you took advantage of the dollar deals at 711, we're asking this week that, uh, you go out, you make some people happy, you make some people smile and, uh, video that shit, tag me in it. All right. And then at the end of the week, probably the beginning of next week, we're going to award some kings and queens of dollar days. All right. And

• 4:03Andy Frisella?

  I can't tell you what that's going to be, but it's going to be awesome. So buy one, share one all through this week and, uh, let's see how many people we can make smile. All right. Yeah, there's a special deal on the grape, grape ones. Yeah, free. Buy one, steal one. Buy one, steal one. Yeah.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  What's going on though, man?

• 4:23Andy Frisella?

  Nothing dude.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, another beautiful, beautiful fall day here in Missouri.

• 4:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man. It got cold and started raining.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:30Andy Frisella?

  Out of nowhere.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I mean, it's Missouri, bro. I tell people that all the time about Missouri, like, dude, I love it here. It's great. But like, we get all the seasons.

• 4:39Andy Frisella?

  Day.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  And, and, yeah.

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm convinced Mother Nature is a black woman.

• 4:44Andy Frisella?

  Why you say that?

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Cause she's always pissed, yelling at us, don't want nobody to be happy.

• 4:49Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  You know?

• 4:54Andy Frisella?

  You gotta go home.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  I'm coming to your house, bro.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  No, man, but guys, yeah, it's Q and A, man. Let's, uh, we got some write-ins. We're gonna do some OG write-ins. We got some really great questions here.

• 5:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we're actually recording this on Sunday. We usually record it, uh, at the end of the week, but we had our Tay Syndicate here.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Which was great.

• 5:12Andy Frisella?

  Oh, dude. Dude, that was awesome.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  It was great. Lot of great people, man. Lot of great people. Really awesome, uh, packed couple of days.

• 5:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  It was really cool.

• 5:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, so we weren't able to record on Friday, but that's why we don't have the call-ins today.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:28Andy Frisella?

  So we're gonna do some write-ins today.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  We're gonna do get some write-ins, man. We're gonna make some people better. Guys, Andy, I got three good ones for you. Let's kick these off.

• 5:36Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Guys, Andy, question number one. Uh, Andy, a few episodes back, a young man called in talking about his dad. Uh, and during his description, I caught myself thinking, what the fuck? That kinda sounds like me. Uh, it wasn't one of my sons, but a lot of what he said hit close to home. I'm thirty-nine, uh, five-eight, three-hundred-and-thirty pounds. I was medically separated from the army about ten years ago, but back then, I was in the best shape of my life. Two-hundred-and-eleven pounds of pure fuck around and find out. When I got out, I had no plan B. Married at seventeen with four kids. Life has always been an uphill battle, mostly from my own choices.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  I've been listening to your show since twenty-sixteen, so I know exactly where I've dropped the ball and what needs to change. My biggest problem is discipline. It's a tangible skill and somewhere along the way, I lost it. Now, I'm finally taking steps to make a lasting change. I've started Seventy-Five Hard and launched a dog training business I'm passionate about. Right now, I'm still working the nine-to-five while building my dream, but I struggle to stay focused at work because my mind's on the business. At my age... I'm trying to make the most of what I've got left and start living life for me now that my kids are grown. Um, any advice on balancing the grind, building my dream and maintaining discipline would mean a lot.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Side note, I know I'm a fat fuck right now, but I'm an active fat ass. Bench 345, hit the gym and can still outrun some of these teenagers. I just love food too damn much.

• 7:12Andy Frisella?

  Number one, you can't outrun shit. Okay? First of all, don't fucking lie to yourself. You ain't running shit. You're 5'8", 350 fucking pounds. You're gonna die if you don't fix your shit. Okay? That's the truth. Quit lying to yourself. Quit saying, oh, I was 211 pounds back in fucking, you know, when Jesus was alive. No one gives a shit, bro. Okay? And you're attaching your identity to what you used to be, not what you could be. And the way that you say it shows that. I'm trying to make the time the best of what I have left, bro. You're 30 fucking nine years old. You're still a fucking kid. Okay? What the fuck are you talking about? All right? If you don't get your shit together, bro, you're gonna fucking die. You got like a year left or two years left. If I were you, I'd be completely focused on that.

• 7:57Andy Frisella?

  Because without that, you don't have a training business. You don't have balance. You don't have a family. You don't even have kids. Cause you're gonna be in a fucking ground. So my advice to you would be to take that more seriously than anything else in your life. And as you get that into change and you get that in line, you are gonna become way more effective in everything else. And I know you say you know this. Well, if you know this so much, then how the fuck are you so fucking fat? Okay? Let's be fucking real, bro. You need to tell yourself the truth. The truth is this, doesn't matter what you used to be, doesn't matter where you came from, doesn't matter what you used to think. What matters is what you do from this day forward.

• 8:36Andy Frisella?

  And if you don't take care of that problem of being that little and that fat, uh, you, you got a big, you got a big problem on your hands, bro. You know, you ain't, oh, I'm gonna outrun the, no, you can't. You can't. Go do it. Let's see it. Let's see the video. Tag me in it. You're full of shit. All right? So before we talk about balance and, uh, you know, how do I balance the grind and this and that, bro? You need to grind some of that fat off your motherfucking body. That's the truth. Okay? So, uh, and by the way,

• 9:08Andy Frisella?

  And people get mad when I say this, but you know what dude, it's the truth. People judge you on your physical appearance. Your success in life is gonna come down to what people perceive of your presence when they first meet you. Okay, and if you walk in, you're gonna train somebody's dog and you're fucking just as wide as you are tall. Yeah, you're gonna get some clients, but you sure as fuck ain't gonna get the premium ones. The premium ones are gonna look at you and they're gonna say, this guy doesn't have his shit together. And that's what people who are in this condition do not understand. You are judged. This is real. Doesn't make it right? Maybe not, but we don't deal with maybes. We deal with what is. And what is, is that you have a big problem and it's in your fucking self. And um, you know, I think the rest of the answer is irrelevant until you fucking get your shit together. That's the truth.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Do you think that's a thing with?

• 9:55Andy Frisella?

  I think, I think it's bullshit that people say, oh, I can't balance all, if you're really doing 75 hard and you're really doing live hard, you are much more effective at everything else that you do in your life. That's just the truth. So it opens up time, it shows you how ineffective you are. And uh, the balance aspect works itself out because you're coordinating your day every single day. You're not floating through. You're not uh, taking it by chance. You're intentionally living day by day by day by day. And the fact that, you know, you let yourself go, you know, you've lived a long time just floating in the fucking wind. Okay, so don't feed me this bullshit because I know about all.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Ask me how I know.

• 10:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, I was fucking 350 pounds too dude. You know what I'm saying? This isn't like some dude who's just naturally ripped up here belittling you. I'm telling you the truth as if you're my homie. If you were my homie and you were sitting right here, I'd tell you that. So um, yeah, man. Uh, you're lying to yourself. That's what it comes down to.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  I think the discipline thing is very interesting, like especially to hear from somebody, you know, being in the military, that's all it is, is discipline, right? Like you got, you know, people are telling you when to eat, when to work out, how long you're working out, right? And so like, you know, is it, is it, how important I guess, I mean, I guess that's the whole point of 75 hard, live hard is like developing, having that system that holds you accountable and keeps you in that because I think most people are, I wanna say inherently, super lazy and undisciplined. I don't think that's like a unique thing. You know what I'm saying?

• 11:24Andy Frisella?

  Most people are just really good at telling themselves what they need to hear and talk themselves out of what's going on. This is the whole concept of the bitch voice and the boss voice. This dude's bitch voice owns him. It owns him. Owns them and the results speak for itself and until he balances that out. Nothing's it's gonna get worse and worse and worse. Where are you gonna be at forty three? You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know what to say to that.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, bro. That's real, bro. That's real. Address that then right back back in.

• 11:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you need to lose a hundred and fucking fifty motherfucking pounds. You're what do you say? Five eight? What?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Five eight, three thirty.

• 12:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you need to lose a hundred and fifty fucking pounds, bro. And you need to do it right now, or you're gonna be fucking dead. That should be your number one priority. We all think, oh, it's not gonna happen to me. No, you're exactly what it happens to. You're a walking, fucking, medical nightmare, bro, and you're about to fucking learn that. So you better fix it.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  I love it, bro. I love it.

• 12:23Andy Frisella?

  I didn't want to talk about his business.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  No, it's real, man. It's real. It's real. That's real shit, man.

• 12:29Andy Frisella?

  And, bro, by the way, kind of example are you setting for your fucking sons? You know, you said that stung. It should sting. Should sting. You know what you're telling your sons? You're telling your sons what everybody else tells their sons. By the time it's forty, you know, your life is over. Bro, that's such bullshit. It's such a bullshit lie.

• 12:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it is what it is, man. You better fix it.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  I love it, man. I love it. Now, this is gonna be a transition, but staying in line with this. Uh, let's go to question number two. This is, this is, I'm interested in your, your thoughts on this. Uh, guys, Andy, question number two. Uh, Andy, thanks, thank you, uh, for all the work you do, the time, effort, energy, intent. My life is a complete one eighty now. I went from three hundred and seventy-five pounds to two hundred and twenty-five pounds in two years. I have changed my life, saved my marriage. Um, I can see my you know what now. Uh, it's been absolutely amazing. My coworkers have been treating me differently in a good way.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Uh, I feel better, breathe better, sleep better. Everything has changed. Here's my problem.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  I have been noticing that I have been building some major resentment towards the people around me. For one, because not one of those motherfuckers said anything about me being a fat lazy piece of shit. Secondly, and what's really bothering me is now I can't help but to look at them like fat lazy pieces of shit for not wanting better for themselves. I do my best to be a good man. I'm not an asshole, but it's getting really hard to respect the people around me when their standards are so low, even with seeing everything that I have achieved. Any help working through this would be appreciated, brother.

• 14:20Andy Frisella?

  Well, this goes back to the first question. He's telling you right there, the second guy, how people look at people like the first guy. That's how they fucking look at you, okay? People that have their shit together, people who are winning, people who quite honestly, hold the fucking keys to your opportunities, look at you and think that. So, back to the first guy, you need to listen real close. As far as the resentment goes, no one's gonna tell you you're fat, bro. It doesn't happen. And if we're being honest, had they told you you were fat, you would have cried about it. You know, you would have felt sorry about it. You would have said, "That guy's a fucking asshole." And you probably would have just brushed it off as that. So, let's be real.

• 15:02Andy Frisella?

  People don't tell the truth when it comes to that because it feels rude. It's not rude. The truth, that's actually kind. It's actually a kind, hard truth, okay? And those things can exist together. If you really cared about someone and you really, really, really wanted them to improve, you would tell them the things that no one else would tell them. But we don't live in a kind world, bro. We live in a scared world. We live in a world where people don't want to tell people the truth. We live in a world where people don't want to tell themselves the truth, okay? So, you can't get mad at people for not telling you. That you were fat. They're not gonna do it. It's not gonna happen. And Can knock them for that.

• 15:46Andy Frisella?

  And if they had, you would have fucking thought they were a piece of shit. Yeah, right. So you were in a different place mentally then. You're now you're second guessing it. But the other part of the equation, I think is a natural part of getting your own shit together. You start to look at people different. You start to see people different. You start to understand how easy relatively it is to handle that part of your life. And you start to look at people and think, what the fuck is going on with this person that they won't take advantage of? The opportunity they have to get their shit together. And that's a natural reaction. But just like them to you, you don't want to walk around being like, hey, you fat fuck. Like you need to get shit together. Right.

• 16:27Andy Frisella?

  But that could sound, and that could sound differently. You know what I'm saying? That could sound like, hey, man. Let me talk to you for a second. Yeah. Here's the deal. I care a lot about you, dude, and the reality is going back to the first guy, you're thirty fucking nine years old, man. Like, let's go over here and look in the mirror. All right? You're just as wide as you are tall. Do you think this is healthy? Do you think this is gonna provide you with a fulfilling life? Are you happy with yourself? Sometimes they'll say, well, yeah. No, they're not. They're not. There's not a single motherfucker out here, and and this has been the biggest lie that's been told for the last fucking fifteen years. This body positivity nonsense. There's not a single person out here that is

• 17:11Andy Frisella?

  three, four, five hundred fucking pounds that looks in the mirror and says, I love me for me. That's bullshit. I've been fat, bro. I know. I I pretended to like it. And at the end of the day, you have to understand that about life. It it no one cares about all this shit that you tell yourself, oh, I could do this, or I could do that. Most of the shit you can't even do. Let's be honest. You're telling yourself that you could still do. If you really think you could do the shit that at three hundred and thirty pounds that you could do when you were two eleven, let's see it. I want to see it because you'll be the only motherfucker ever in history to do it. Okay?

• 17:47Andy Frisella?

  But yeah, dude, you know, pulling someone aside, having a real conversation with them in a caring way can go a long way. And they may not change at that moment, but they'll remember that when they do change. They'll say, man, you know what? Andy was the only motherfucker that told me anything like that. And, and eventually they'll appreciate you for that. It's like having a hard coach, right? The coaches I hated the most growing up, now that I'm older, I look back, I'm like, man, that dude actually cared. And I'm thankful for that. And I appreciate that's right, dude. And I hated him during, during the time when they were coaching me. So, you know, and that goes for leadership and a lot of people aren't mature enough to handle hard coaching, because they take it personally. But like, dude, those people aren't built to be around winners.

• 18:30Andy Frisella?

  That's, that's the reality. So, um, so yeah, man, uh, I understand the natural way that it skews your view, because I definitely have the same thing. But here's the thing, dude. The right people will follow, the other people won't. And this is what we talk about every single day about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion. When you hold a standard, when you live a standard, when you show people, not tell people what it looks like, eventually people get tired of their own shit and they say, hey, how do you do that? What are you doing? Can you show me what you're doing? Can you, can you, I want to get better. And, and when they start doing that, that's when they change. There's not a single person on this earth, I don't care how good of a motivator

• 19:14Andy Frisella?

  they are, or how good of a, how much logic and, and common sense and truth they bestow on someone. It doesn't matter if it's me, or if it's Tony Robbins, or fucking the greatest speaker or motivator on the fucking planet, bro. People will not change until they are ready to change. So, present the options, be open to fucking helping them, but understand that it shouldn't drive you crazy if they do nothing. That's their responsibility and your responsibility is just to live the standard and the right people will come and the wrong people will, you know, might not and, and, you know, those people will become irrelevant in your life.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Let's, let's talk about mindset in the, in the sense of humility too, right? Like, how important is it for, for this person to remember like, bro, not that long ago, you were there too?

• 20:02Andy Frisella?

  Well, I think that's, I think that's, that's the, the basis of empathy around those situations, right? Yeah. Um, I think, you know, dude, I really connect with people that are overweight. Like when somebody's really heavy, I, I know what that's like, bro, and I know how miserable that is. And I know what it's like to be a prisoner in your own fucking body and literally look in the mirror and fucking hate it. So I definitely, you know, empathize with that, but I also know that coddling those people ain't gonna fucking change it. You tell them it's okay, they'll go eat a motherfucking cheeseburger and they'll say, oh, it's okay. You know, it's, it's not that bad, you know, I'm not, I'm not that bad, you know? I got lettuce on it. Yeah, they get second, they get six beers in and they go and look in the mirror in the fucking bar bathroom and they're like, oh, look all right. Yeah.

• 20:44Andy Frisella?

  I look pretty good and they suck in, you know, they wear the same shirt every, everywhere they go, the same outfit. Um, thinking it makes them look skinny and they're fooling people. You ain't fooling nobody, bro. You look like shit. You just gotta, you, you have to fucking address that. And not only do you look like shit, you feel like shit because you know you could be controlling it, which is driving your confidence, your self-esteem, your, your fortitude, your, your, your, all your belief in yourself. Everything that matters, that brings all the good things in your life are suppressed when you're not controlling what it is that you control. Because when you're not controlling things, you're in chaos. When you're in chaos, you have anxiety. When you have anxiety, you usually have a lot of stress. When you have a lot of stress, that leads to depression. It leads to a lack of belief in yourself.

• 21:28Andy Frisella?

  It leads to all these other dark things. So it starts with controlling the things that we are in control of, which are very simple things, that actually dictate the majority of the quality of our life. What you drink, what you eat, how you move, okay? What you put in your brain, who you associate with. These are things that you are always in control of. And those things, when controlled, produce the best outcome that you can create for yourself. And when you create the best outcome for yourself, you end up in a situation where other people are offering you opportunities because very clearly this person can handle their own responsibilities of self.

• 22:07Andy Frisella?

  Alright, so people can lie and they can say, "Oh, it's okay, you know, I'm happy at 380 pounds" and this and that. If that were true, then why the fuck are all these fat activists out here on Ozempic now? Why have they all lost 200 pounds? If they were so, if Lizzo was so happy being a fat pig, then why the fuck is she down all this weight? Which, by the way, congrats to her. I think it's great. Okay? But they were lying to you. And you have to understand that. You have to understand it. We've been fed a lie. It is not okay to walk around in a body, in a life that you are totally unhappy with, because you refuse to control very basic things.

• 22:52Andy Frisella?

  And when you really think about it, you're losing, you're losing in life to inanimate objects. You are losing to a fucking beer. A bottle of beer. You're losing your life to a thing that literally just has no life, no being, no energy, and it's beating you. How fucking weak is that? How weak is it to, for a pizza, or french fries, or peanut butter, to control your fucking life? That's the weakest shit in the world. Okay? So, until you start controlling these things, until you start getting pissed off that you're

• 23:33Andy Frisella?

  losing to inanimate objects, you're not gonna feel better, bro. And you're certainly not gonna look better. And you're certainly not gonna get the opportunities that you could get. And ultimately, I give this gentleman a lot of props for taking control of what it is, but like, we can't force that on people. We can only show them the way. So, keep showing them, dude, and what you're gonna see, because this is a new thing for you, is if you maintain it over the course of years, almost everybody in your life will follow. Okay? When I lost 110 pounds in 2016, my, when I first started getting my shit together for real. You know, all of us around here, around first form, were a little chubby. Okay, let's be real.

• 24:18Andy Frisella?

  Now my brother's gotten in shape. Now all the guys have gotten in shape. Now my dad's lost 40 pounds. My mom's lost 100 pounds. Everybody in my life has gotten better because of that. Okay, and that's what will happen to you if you give it enough time. But it's not going to happen immediately. And you can't let it rub you raw because it'll drive you fucking crazy and distract you from what you need to do. So just keep leading the way. The right people will follow, some won't. And, uh, you know, two, three years from now, you're going to look around and all your friends are going to look different. All your family's going to look different. Everybody's going to be healthier and they're all going to be, they might not say, hey, you inspired me to do this, but dude, it's going to be very clear that what you did changed a lot of people around you.

• 25:00Andy Frisella?

  And that's, that's a very, I think that's the most noble thing that we can do. Especially, uh, as independent, strong people that want to lead and fix culture. We have all these people that say, oh, I want to, the world sucks. Society sucks. Well, have you looked in fucking mirror, bro? You look just like everybody else. You, you, you're just like everybody else. You're not special. You're just like them. So when you look in the mirror and you see what you see all the way out there, can you not tie together that you're the fucking problem? All right, we have to fix these things in ourselves for the things in the world to fix themselves. And it's not the government. It's not Trump. It's not, you know, a vote. It's not Israel. It's not fucking Ukraine, bro.

• 25:45Andy Frisella?

  It's not the racial division. It's that we all live like shit. And if we all lived better and we tried harder and we lived the standard, everybody would be happier, healthier, more productive, which changes culture and politics is downstream from culture. So when culture is strong, independent, non-dependent on them, the world changes. Okay, but that can't change until you look in the mirror and see what you think Americans should be. That's the truth. So. Yeah, you're setting the example, bro, and I commend you for it, but you can't get upset that people don't follow you right away. A lot of people probably think, oh, this way he's gonna gain it back, which is the point of, you know, you gotta maintain it.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Bro, bro, so 2016, you lost. What was the moment for you that made you like fucking get with it?

• 26:33Andy Frisella?

  Well, it all came down to I understood that me not living at two things. One, I wanted to win, and I don't see anybody at the top that's fat.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:46Andy Frisella?

  Okay, I don't see anybody at the top that's fat. Period. Alright, and I don't come from special circumstances. So I knew I wasn't getting some sort of fucking special boost to get where I needed to go. So I knew and I recognized that for me to get where I wanted to go, I had to be my best self. And I think that's the biggest misconception that people have about winning and success. You are not good enough. I am not good enough. None of us listening are good enough to win unless we are absolute best. That's how competitive this game is. There are gonna be people who handle their shit much better than you that are gonna get your opportunities.

• 27:27Andy Frisella?

  And people don't, people don't connect that. They think, oh, that's, that's, that's not actually true. It's what's on the inside that counts. No, it's not. The inside does count, but the outside counts too. And when you start telling yourself it's only about the inside, dude, it's again, it's a lie. It's just a fucking lie. Robert Greene talks about this in The 48 Laws of Power. Alright, you have to understand reality, not what you wish reality would be. You are judged. How you look matters. And if you don't think so, and you subscribe to the other way of thinking, you're gonna be very limited in what you can do in your life. And you're also gonna end up with a lot of regrets about what could have been, and how I could have lived, and what could have happened, and what kind of example did I set, and those things are gonna eat you up, dude.

• 28:12Andy Frisella?

  You know, this 39-year-old guy, the first question really bothers me, dude. That guy's, that guy's fucking straight up lying to himself. You know what I mean?

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:21Andy Frisella?

  So, yeah, man, you gotta set the example, you gotta live it, and you gotta live it forever. And that's the change that needs to happen in this country. And people...

• 28:33Andy Frisella?

  Abandoning their responsibility as an individual is the reason that we're in the situation that we're in.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  100% bro. I love it, man. I love it. Let's uh, so a third and final question, guys. Guys, Andy question number three. Um, Andy, 14 years in. I didn't build this business to be an employee in my own companies. How do you scale without losing control, standards, or loyalty? What steps would you take to build a self-managed team you trust to run it right?

• 29:08Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, if everybody, if it was easy to scale, everybody would scale. It's very, very hard. Okay? Um, I don't know how many employ, does he say how many employees?

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Negative.

• 29:18Andy Frisella?

  Okay. It doesn't matter if you have three or five or 50, 500, it answers the still the same. It's the same answer that I gave in, in the second question. Number one, are you living the standard? Are you living it every day? Okay. Because here's the thing. You might think you can fool your employees. You might think you can fool your kids. You can't fool either one. They know if you're actually doing it or you're not doing it. And if you come in and pretend, it's not going to work no matter what. All right. So let's throw that out the window and let's say you are living the standard. How do we scale? Well, number one, you've got to take your key reports and you have to consistently work with them every single week

• 29:59Andy Frisella?

  about the standards. We have to communicate about the standards. We have to speak in that standard language. We have to, everything, every action, everything that we take should be tying back to the core values of the business that you, that you have set. If you don't have core values, you need to set them and you need to speak in that language to your employees. Which means every action that we take, every action we don't take, every hire that we make, every hire, every time we fire someone, every time we make a move, these all have to be tied back to these guiding principles of what our value system is. And if you're not doing that on a consistent basis, the culture can't live and breathe and exist inside of your company. All right. So.

• 30:44Andy Frisella?

  The difference between a really great culture and, and, and, and a really bad culture is putting some shit on the wall and never talking about it again, or putting some shit on the wall and making it your only conversation that you ever fucking have about everything that you do. That's the difference. Okay. And those values have to be lived by you to the best of your abilities. And by the way, you're not going to be perfect. You're going to fuck up. And when you fuck up, you gotta be able to own that and say, hey, you know what? I fucked up. The purpose of value system isn't to live perfectly all the time. It's to let them guide you so that you understand that when you do make mistakes, this is where you made them and I need to correct them, which keeps the culture in line. If you don't have a strong culture, it's very hard to scale and

• 31:29Andy Frisella?

  hold standards. All right. And the reason that most people can't scale is the exact reason that this, this guy's putting out. They put all the systems in place to scale, but the standards at the top get watered down by 20% at every level that you see downstream. Okay. Like depreciation. It's just, yeah, it's just, uh, it's just they, you know, it's like the game of telephone, bro. You whisper in the guys here next to you, one thing, and by the time it gets all the way around, it's something completely different. And that's the same way with standards over the course of time. If you don't make them a living, breathing part of your communication that exists all the

• 32:09Andy Frisella?

  time. All right. So when you have a strong culture and your key reports understand what I'm talking about because you work with them day in, day out, day in, day out for years, eventually those guys start to embody the culture exactly as you would. And then that makes scaling much, much easier. Okay. Um, everybody wants to hire this out and you can, you can hire it out, but you're still going to run into the same problem. You're going to run into the problem of people who aren't the culture people of your brand, doing things that aren't in line with the culture of your brand, and you're going to constantly be dealing with this issue. So it's kind of like. It's kinda like the idea of cleaning your house.

• 32:53Andy Frisella?

  All right, it's a lot easier to pick up your shit right after you eat and put it in the sink or put it in the dishwasher than it is to let the shit pile the fuck up to the, to the size of a mountain that you don't even wanna look at because you understand how hard it is to fucking clean. Okay, that's the difference. A little bit every single day is a lot more than a big reset every sixty days. Yeah, right, right, right. That doesn't work. So, because what that comes across as is basically, oh, the bus, he's fired up today and, uh, you know, tomorrow he'll go back to his normal self. And so they don't, they don't ever listen. So it has to be an everyday, you have to live it, you have to breathe it, you have to embody

• 33:35Andy Frisella?

  it, and the only way for that to get spread is for you to help other people embody those things. And eventually you'll have a great leadership team like we have here that helps the culture flow downstream. I would say that most of our people that, that work for me and some way, shape or form, no matter what company, are handling their shit at a pretty high level. Now, are there exceptions? Absolutely. But they're very rare. Yeah. Okay, and those people really never last. Okay, and that's the other good thing about having a strong culture is that it weeds out the people very quickly that do not fit. Once you have it set to where it's living, breathing, and it's part of the system, everybody in the company knows when someone comes in that doesn't fit and that person knows too,

• 34:18Andy Frisella?

  they feel it, and then eventually, you know, they wash out. So it protects you from the cancer and it protects you from the negative, uh, by having that strong culture. So when we talk about scaling, you have to understand, yes, plenty of businesses scale and plenty of businesses are okay because maybe they're in something that makes enough profit to where they don't have to worry about holding these standards, right? Like if somebody's subscribing to a, a tech platform and there's really no communication with any of the employees at all, a lot, you're gonna be able to get away with a little bit less standard because the product's what's people want and they're buying it and, um, you know, you have more.

• 35:00Andy Frisella?

  More freedom. Unfortunately, for most of us, we exist in businesses that require strong culture for us to grow. And even if you have a company that doesn't require and you add it to it, you're going to have a much better company than what the other companies have. So there's never, and I, there's never a, a company that won't benefit greatly from having strong culture. And it starts at the top and it's a consistent message that you have to fucking communicate in all the time. Okay. When you're correcting people, like I said, when you're hiring people, when you're firing people, what decisions you make for how you're going to grow. Um, how you're going to promote people, who's going to be the leaders? All of these things should be culture driven, including how you reward your people. Okay?

• 35:43Andy Frisella?

  And if you want fucking great culture, you reward people for embodying great culture. And that great culture will allow you to scale at a much better rate with higher standards than any other thing I could tell you to do. Okay?

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Well, I want to ask you this, and maybe I'm thinking too much into it on this. Um, you know, but on this, like I, I, I didn't build this to be an employee in my own companies, right? And I, I've heard you say, you know, I am an employee of my company. You know what I'm saying? You made this like separation. Like everybody obviously knows your position here, right? There's no doubt about that, but it doesn't feel like, it feels like you're a part of the team.

• 36:19Andy Frisella?

  Well, because I recognize that I have a role, just like everybody else has a role. Yeah. And that's the biggest mistake that, you know, CEOs and owners and operators make. They think that the employees work for them, when in reality you work for your employees. Okay. Because you're responsible for their wellbeing. You're responsible for their success in life. And if you don't take that seriously as, as a leader, they're not going to take you seriously as a leader either. All right. So you have to give a fuck. Otherwise you, by the way, this is a great point that you bring up because without this point, none of that can even exist.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:56Andy Frisella?

  Right? So like the way I look at my role here is, you know, Sal operates the operating, you know, Jason operates the operating. My role here is to go out and do what I'm good at, run the things I'm good at. And then, you know, go around and be. What you would call like the chief culture officer and you know, talk to people, find out where the holes are, find out if they, what they need, what they don't need. Uh, what the problems are and fix those things as you go. And I look at that as just like me, that's my oar in the boat. Like I've got to, I've got to handle that part. And, uh, that part, while you know, I guess, you know, you would consider one of the most important parts. I don't value it more than the guy in the backpack in the box because we, it takes a tremendous amount

• 37:41Andy Frisella?

  of, uh, humility at first, right? But once you get over that and you're like, okay, well, this is just my role. Then you earn the respect of your teammates and your teammates are your employees. I, I don't look at employees as employees. I don't, I don't think, I don't, I don't know. Maybe, maybe some, maybe some of my employees look that way because we have so many that don't, you know, there's some that don't know me, you know what I'm saying? But I think any of the people that I'm in contact with on a daily basis know that I give a lot of fucks about them. And it hurts me when they decide to leave, bro. Like I, I feel, I don't look at people when, when we lose a good employee, I don't look at it like fuck them. You know what I look at it like? Man, I fucked up. I failed that person. I failed that person as a leader. You know what I'm saying?

• 38:24Andy Frisella?

  And that's the difference, I think, between great leaders that their team respects and, and goes hard for. And leaders that, you know, have people that come in and clock in and clock the fuck out and go home. You know what I mean?

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, bro. I think, I think that's, that's so fucking important there. Just like, it's another oar in the boat. Cause it doesn't matter how good you are at being the chief culture officer. If nobody packing the box, right? It doesn't matter. Doesn't fucking matter.

• 38:48Andy Frisella?

  It's,

• 38:52Andy Frisella?

  I, I think when you first start to have a business, you know, you kind of want that prestige and that, that, um,

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Here's, here's my nameplate.

• 39:01Andy Frisella?

  I'm the boss.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 39:02Andy Frisella?

  Right? But that's not really what makes a boss. What makes a boss is doing the things that I just mentioned. It's giving a fuck about your people. It's doing the best that you can. It's recognizing that what your role is and executing that role for the benefit of the team. And it doesn't matter if you're the chairman like I am, or the CEO, or you're the brand new guy in the back. You know what I'm saying? We are all a part of the team and we all have to row. And if we don't all row, we can't fucking win. And that's that. I love it, bro. So. I love it. I love it, dude. Guys, Andy, that was three, bro. Yep. That's a hell of a way to start a week off. Yep. All right, guys. Well, listen, um, let's go out. Let's make this happen. Don't

• 39:45Andy Frisella?

  forget to share these form energies, tag me in them, and uh, we'll see you tomorrow with CTI. Don't be a hoe. Shut the show.