How the Rich Buy an Easier Life: A House Manager Reveals All

How do the ultra-wealthy use money to make everyday life easier and what can we learn from the people who run their homes? Ramit goes behind the scenes with former house manager Lea Griffin to explore how wealthy families buy back their time, delegate daily decisions, and build a team they trust. From anticipating every household need to handling extraordinary requests, Lea reveals the work that makes their lives look effortless. Alongside helicopter commutes and a request to ship a $500,000 Mustang across the ocean, discover why the most expensive help isn’t always the best, what separates a great employer from a difficult one, and why spending more doesn’t necessarily mean living better. It’s a look at what money can take off your plate and why knowing what matters to you shapes how well you spend it. ⏩ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction 00:59 How a Billionaire Avoids the Daily Commute 02:47 How House Managers Make Life Easier 05:40 What It Takes to Keep Luxury Homes Running 08:18 What the Ultra-Wealthy Spend on Food and Drink 11:54 What It Takes to Handle Extraordinary Requests 16:29 How Wealthy Families Share the Work of Raising Kids 23:02 What Wealthy Families Value—and Spend Money On 28:02 Why More Money Doesn’t Always Mean More Happiness 32:38 Why Trust Matters: Staff, Privacy, and Surveillance THIS VIDEO IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ➡️ Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrolment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #facetadental Ramit Sethi is the host of Netflix's "How To Get Rich" and New York Times bestselling author of "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" and "Money For Couples" 🎟️ COME TO MY NEXT LIVE EVENT • Virtual and In-Person Events: https://iwt.com/events 🤳 CONNECT WITH RAMIT • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ramit/ • X: https://twitter.com/ramit

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ramit Sethi?

  I'm trying something new today because I've always been fascinated by the psychology of spending. And everyone tells you how you should spend less, but nobody ever talks about the skill of spending money meaningfully. So today I'm talking to someone who provides luxury services to some of the wealthiest families to uncover some of the most jaw dropping and awe inspiring things that people spend on and why they do it. Enjoy this special video and I'll be back with another episode of Money for Couples on Tuesday. What really goes on behind the closed doors of really wealthy people?

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Wanted to impress a woman. He wanted me to ship the car from Los Angeles to Hawaii in a day.

• 0:42Ramit Sethi?

  Today I'm talking to Leah Griffin, a former house manager who worked behind the scenes for some of the wealthiest families in America.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  From nowhere, his helicopter appears. It doesn't even land, it's hovering. He steps onto the landing gear, dives in, and just as quickly as it appears, they disappear into the sky.

• 1:00Ramit Sethi?

  You can almost see it happening in front of your eyes. Wow. What does a house manager get paid?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  The most I got was probably like...

• 1:09Ramit Sethi?

  Leah, can you explain what a house manager does?

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Your job is to run their life seamlessly in the home. You know, whatever's needed, you make happen. That can also, a lot of the time, include a staff. So it's almost like you're running a small company in the home.

• 1:26Ramit Sethi?

  And how long had you been a house manager?

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Over the span of 15 years I did it.

• 1:31Ramit Sethi?

  What is the story that you tell your friends about the job? When they're like, what was that like? What's that one story you tell them?

• 1:38Speaker 01

  A billionaire that I was working for, he lived in Malibu and he had a place in Santa Monica that he worked. And he would take a helicopter from Malibu to Santa Monica every single day for work. So we're driving to his helicopter and we get to the street that we're supposed to turn on and it's blocked by cops, like all these cops. I don't know what was going on. So he's like, what the? He gets out of the car. He's trying to like sweet talk them like, hey, let me through, you know? And it's not happening. So he gets back in my car, he's on the phone for like a minute and he's like, go, go up and hang right over there at that street. And I pull off to the side of Mulholland. There's like a cliff area and from nowhere, his helicopter appears in the sky.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  I kid you not, Rameen, it doesn't even land, it's hovering, okay? It's hovering. You, if you've been near a helicopter, the force of wind is extreme. So I'm, my hair, you know, flying. I've got his morning smoothie. It does not land. He steps onto the landing gear, throws his briefcase into the helicopter, dives in, and just as quickly as it appears, they disappear into the sky. And I'm left standing there. I'm like, don't you, don't you want your smoothie? The entire remainder of that week, when he had guests over, some of whom were like celebrities. Leah, Leah, tell, tell him what happened with the helicopter. Tell the story of the helicopter. He was so proud and he, I would tell the story to people.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  And of course I'm working for him, so I want to make him look cool, you know? So I'm like, but truly, I didn't even have to embellish it. Like, that is what happened. It was very James Bond.

• 3:17Ramit Sethi?

  Wow.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Me, that was like insane, yeah.

• 3:19Ramit Sethi?

  That's pretty amazing. That's almost like, you can almost see it happening in front of your eyes. Wow. Why does a wealthy family need a house manager?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  That's a great question. You know, it really varies on the need of the, of the individual and the home. I do believe when you're dealing with such high net worth, like a billionaire status, typically those types of people are really busy. They're running businesses, they're doing a million things at once. So they really need somebody to make sure when they get home, that their home is managed, there's food, they don't have to think, they don't have to think about anything. All the friction is removed in the home. It's like, they know they can come home and everything is as it should be.

• 4:05Ramit Sethi?

  As an example, what do you mean? Like I walk in the door as a billionaire, what do I see?

• 4:10Speaker 01

  You walk in the door as a billionaire, you take off your clothes, they're picked up, they're put away, you go into your kitchen, the food that you've requested is there waiting for you. You go outside, the pool has been cleaned and the things that you requested for your pool, you're having guests over later that day, you wanted pool toys in your pool, they're there waiting for you. Basically, every request, anything that you've needed has been handled, period. There's nothing, you have nothing, no wants.

• 4:38Ramit Sethi?

  Wait, this sounds like being a seven year old. Like a seven year old's like, I want toys in the pool? It's like, okay, mom and dad deliver.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Totally. No, literally, no, it is, it's just, it takes away, it's, it's a convenience. I mean, it's like, it's, you don't have to think about these things, especially if you're running a business and you're a business person or in an industry. Those things are time consuming and they, you know, you don't want to have to think about these little minute details, even something as small as food or a pool toy, you know? If you're having a pool party, you want to know. If you're having friends over that weekend, you want to know, it's handled. I don't have to think about it.

• 5:11Ramit Sethi?

  How many staff did the billionaire have?

• 5:13Speaker 01

  In just strictly the home, there were about on a regular day, 10 to 12 people in the home.

• 5:21Ramit Sethi?

  Okay. You know, it's funny, I hear a lot of people in America say, which is, I don't want people in my house. I don't like people in my area. I never hear wealthy people, especially ultra wealthy people say that. What's your experience with that phrase, I don't like people in my space?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  In the really high net worth homes, there was never not someone there. There was always someone in the home, even in the evenings, whether it was staff, whether it was a live-in nanny, they were never alone. I just, for me personally, I'm, I'm like, get out of my house, you know? Give me my space. But I noticed that they never wanted to be alone. It's felt like there was this like need to constantly have people around.

• 6:12Ramit Sethi?

  Can you walk me through a day as a house manager? What time do you walk in the door and what happens through your entire workday?

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Come in at 8:00 AM, 7:00 AM, 8:00 AM, check in with the staff, you know, make sure everybody's where they're supposed to be. For this particular individual, I managed two homes, so I also had to make sure the other home was stocked, managed. A lot of guests would stay there, so I had to, basically are both these houses in running order? Are the refrigerators stocked? Is everybody doing what they're supposed to be doing? Coordinating, a lot of coordinating, contractors, landscapers, chefs, drivers, we're having a party, order caviar, I'm having guests over tonight, I need this type of setup in the house. All the little mundane kind of details that we just kind of do in our day to day, I managed every day.

• 7:03Ramit Sethi?

  Now, as a house manager, what were your hours when you were working in these homes?

• 7:08Speaker 01

  It can either be 24/7, which a lot of the time it is, or you can have a set schedule, which would be like 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM. And then you have your work phone and if something, emergencies come up, you know, boundaries are really important in these types of jobs. And when you are interviewing, it's very important to make sure you state, hey, if you're looking for 24/7, that's not me. And some people are okay with that, you know? I've done both. I don't like the 24/7. Your life is their life. So to me, that didn't work for me, but some people are okay with that.

• 7:39Ramit Sethi?

  Well, actually I'm curious about their houses. So the houses that you worked in, what were the houses like different than an ordinary house?

• 7:49Speaker 01

  The biggest house I worked in probably had 12 bedrooms. The artwork, you know, just phenomenal artwork, just curated, beautiful. Even the homes that weren't necessarily the largest of homes, beautiful details, beautiful rugs, beautiful couches, high quality product in the home, I would say, was a very common theme.

• 8:14Ramit Sethi?

  Who's choosing that for them? For example, the soap they use or the tissues or whatever?

• 8:19Speaker 01

  As you get to know your employer, you know, you start to recognize things that they like and don't like. So then it's like, you can take it upon yourself to like introduce things into their lives. And if they value your opinion and trust you, a lot of the time they'll listen. I remember one family I worked for, Le Labo, I don't know if everyone remembers Le Labo, it was a very popular brand at a specific time. And this like scent from Le Labo was like it. And it was like Le Labo, Le Labo candles, Le Labo. And it's like a very high end candle.

• 8:50Ramit Sethi?

  What would surprise somebody about something very ordinary that these wealthy clients of yours had in their house? For example, everybody uses Ziploc bags or Kleenex. What would surprise somebody watching?

• 9:06Speaker 01

  Every single wealthy household has a completely stocked fridge of every single drink you could possibly imagine. Perries, sodas, diet sodas, every wellness shots. And sometimes I was responsible for that stockage as well. That's one thing. Another thing I would say is, which we touched on, there's always someone there. That's just the norm, always someone in the home, no matter what. Pretty regular in these homes are like IV drip banana bag type things, which are mobile, they come to your home if you feel like, you get a vitamin B shot in the ass or, you know, IV drip. I always thought this was interesting.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  You know, one of my employers had a standing reservation at Nobu every single night. He went every single night to Nobu for dinner.

• 9:57Ramit Sethi?

  What does a dinner party look like for one of these clients? For example, what do they eat? Who's making it? Decor? Can you walk me through that?

• 10:08Speaker 01

  A dinner party will typically be handled, I will hire a party coordinator, like somebody that I worked with, somebody wonderful actually. And so she would manage all the, it's a lot of outsourcing for me, you know? She would manage all the, the design and the decor based off of our client and what they wanted. And I would hire a chef. The food is incredible. Typically, it's either, it's catered by, you know, it's like a private chef situation, depending on the, how large the party is. Alcohol is mind blowing. I would see people drinking...

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Wines that were like, you know, my salary.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  Like no shit. Like, I remember looking up, they were having a party and I remember having to go get some wine from this massive wine cellar. And I looked up one of the bottles and it was like 10K, just one of the bottles. And it was just this wall of wine. So I'm looking at hundreds of thousands of dollars of wine and they're just sipping the wine, you know, I'm sure it was phenomenal.

• 11:15Ramit Sethi?

  I think what's interesting is the idea that as a house manager, you are outsourcing so much of this. I think people's first tendency would be to think like, oh, well, you would be the one planning it. So why are you bringing in an event planner versus you doing it?

• 11:32Speaker 01

  For this particular situation, the employer would prefer an event planner over me. That would not be considered my area of expertise. So they're going to want the best of the best. Therefore, they're going to rely on me to find the best of the best. It's trusting my judgment and knowing them, what they like. And from there, they trust that I can find the correct person for the job.

• 11:59Ramit Sethi?

  If you're looking for the best of the best, whether it be an event planner, personal trainer, et cetera, how do you find that person?

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Word of mouth and recommendation over Google. Very rarely have I hired somebody off of Google. So if I've attended a wedding that was phenomenal, I'm going to reach out to the friend whose wedding it was and say, hey, who did your wedding? Do they do parties? Yes, they do. Here you go. And if they don't, can they refer me to somebody who does?

• 12:26Ramit Sethi?

  What was the craziest request you received from a client?

• 12:30Speaker 01

  I was working for a billionaire. He was in Hawaii and he wanted to impress a woman. He owned a, quite an incredible collection of cars. One of them was 1968 Shelby Mustang. And they're probably worth, I think about like 500K, something like that. He wanted me to ship the car from Los Angeles to Hawaii in a day. So I was on the phone, you know, cargo freight companies trying to figure this out. Here's what I learned. You can't ship a car in a day. It's 48 hours. It cost at the time, and this was a while ago, 80K maybe, but I did manage to figure out a way to do it. And it was so funny, even calling the companies, these guys were like, are you kidding? Are you serious?

• 13:12Speaker 01

  And I'm like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. So I call him and I'm like, okay, I got it. We can get it there in 48 hours. He's like, forget it. Nevermind.

• 13:20Ramit Sethi?

  Does that happen a lot?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, in that particular household, things like that did happen. Yeah.

• 13:27Ramit Sethi?

  There's this myth that wealthy people are really great with money. Now, I know a lot of wealthy people and they're usually pretty good at earning money, but a lot of them are not good at managing it. They just have a lot of it. That is how some ultra wealthy people end up with advisors who charge a percentage of their assets, which ends up being massive amounts of fees and they don't even know it. Paying a percentage of your portfolio for money help, in my opinion, is the absolute wrong thing to do. If you want quality money help without the fees, that's where the sponsor of this video, Facet, can help. Facet offers real financial planning with dedicated CFP professionals who help you see the big picture. Not just one account or one decision, but how everything fits together.

• 14:11Ramit Sethi?

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• 14:54Ramit Sethi?

  if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn about which membership option is best for you. All right, now, back to it. What does a house manager get paid?

• 15:08Speaker 01

  The most I got back then, and this was, mind you, years ago, was probably like 80K a year. I know, plus benefits, but this was a while ago. And now it, the range is 150 to 200K.

• 15:23Ramit Sethi?

  When you ran these households, did you have a budget?

• 15:27Speaker 01

  No, I never had a budget. No, I had typically in the home, I would be given a credit card

• 15:35Speaker 01

  and entrusted with that credit card to use it at my discretion.

• 15:40Ramit Sethi?

  Now, you mentioned some of your clients had multiple properties and maintaining it, you know, between one property or another. What was it like if they decided to go from their first house to their second house? What did you have to do to get that second house ready for them?

• 15:56Speaker 01

  So whether it was them or guests, because also, mind you, there were times where maybe I would be told, hey, so and so is coming to stay in our Malibu house. There would be a book, which typically connected to the home. And it's almost like a scope of work. And it has all the information you need about the house. And over time, as house managers switch, you add to it, you take away, depending on the home. Does the refrigerator have everything stocked? Is everything in working order? Is the pool heater on? Are the cameras termed off? So for privacy, literally every possible thing. If you're going into a, on a vacation and you're going to a home, it's like, picture in your mind, it's like, what do you want to have at that home, taken care of?

• 16:40Speaker 01

  That is my, that is your job. That is my job. And when you're working for a specific individual, as you get to know them better, you know, they're specific, you know what they like, you know what they don't like. So you want to make sure that when they get there, they ask for nothing. You've fucked up if they're like, hey, where's, where's my, you know, you made a mistake. You fucked up. You should be 10 steps ahead.

• 17:01Ramit Sethi?

  I want to talk about kids. What is different about these households in relation to their children versus anybody that you might meet, let's say, everyday American?

• 17:14Speaker 01

  A hundred percent of the time, there's a nanny involved. A lot of the time, there's a live-in nanny involved. So there will be a live-in nanny on, during the week, and then on the weekend, they will be relieved by the weekend live-in nanny. Sometimes it's really necessary, honestly, is what I've noticed in these homes. You've got, let's say you've got three kids and a lot of these fam, one of the families had three children. One's got basketball here, soccer there, another one's got volleyball. It's like you actually, and there have been situations where there was like two nannies, because we needed one nanny to take this kid here and the other one there. But it's like, everybody's kind of working together, including the parents. It's not like, the parents are like, oh, hands off, you're going to raise my kid.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  I would say that there has, I've never been in a high net worth house where there hasn't been a nanny.

• 18:01Ramit Sethi?

  That's very interesting. That's very interesting. It kind of reminds me of the celebrity profiles you see. And they're like, you know, how do you stay so fit? And then one of the celebs will be like, oh, I just, I love to walk. I just go for a walk every morning with some lemon water. Like, that's not what you do. Tell the truth. You have a personal trainer, nutritionist, chef. It's okay. You're wealthy. It's fine. But also I've learned that the public, we don't want the truth. Because especially with childcare, if you talk about, I have a nanny or two nannies or a weekend, it's like, big, the ultimate taboo in America. Did you find that to be the same in your job?

• 18:44Speaker 01

  I did. You know, people are really judgy and they're quick to say, oh, you're not raising your kids if you have nannies. And it's actually, I found that to be, when you're in the home and you're in such an intimate setting like that, it's one more person to love your kid and one more person for you to love. I saw it way more as like a family unit, especially with a nanny. It's like, they're taking care of your offspring. This is a huge responsibility. And so I always saw the positives of it.

• 19:13Ramit Sethi?

  Hold on, hold on. How, what type of dogs do wealthy people like? I'm going to go out on a limb. Big dogs.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Yes, big dogs, huge dogs. Some, one of the homes had six humongous dogs, like.

• 19:30Ramit Sethi?

  Wow.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  And I was responsible for those dogs and I would have to like stay overnight.

• 19:35Ramit Sethi?

  I'm assuming they have dog walkers, dog trainers?

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yes, dog trainers, dog walkers. I would hire, a lot of the time, I would be the one hiring those people. Yeah.

• 19:44Ramit Sethi?

  Okay, got it. How much did you pay a dog trainer or dog walker, out of curiosity?

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Typically, in these types of situations, I will interview three, I'll get three quotes. That's my thing. I'm like, okay, I need three quotes. Something interesting that I always found interesting. Like a normal person, you're like, okay, three quotes. Why is this one so high? Why is this one so low? What's the difference here? Leaning towards middle, leaning towards low. In a high net worth home, it's almost like.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  The higher the cost, the more likely they are to be chosen is what I discovered.

• 20:19Ramit Sethi?

  And why is that?

• 20:20Speaker 01

  I would guess it's probably because they're thinking this is the best of the best. And that's why they cost the most. That wasn't always the case. I noticed a lot of time when a vendor would show up at the house, you could almost like see the price changing. If they're pulling up to a high net worth home and they're taken in this mansion, I swear to God, it's like you could see it. So I was really, you know, I had to be really mindful of that. And I'm very fair. I'm very like diplomatic. So I don't want people to be taken advantage of despite what their situation is. So it was on me to really, you know, determine, hey, is this person like worth this? I didn't hire a dog trainer for that reason.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  I, he was very well respected, but I felt based off of what I knew of dog trainers, the quote he gave me was so, it was offensive. At the time, and I was just like-

• 21:16Ramit Sethi?

  You remember what it was?

• 21:17Speaker 01

  I think he quoted me three separate quotes, and I think it was like something absurd for me, like a thousand dollars an hour or something for, to work with this dog. And it was just like, what the?

• 21:28Ramit Sethi?

  There's a high net worth price and then there's just fantasy price.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  Fantasy price.

• 21:33Ramit Sethi?

  I think I can get it.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  It felt that way to me. Yeah.

• 21:36Ramit Sethi?

  Let's talk about traveling. So how do these families travel?

• 21:42Speaker 01

  So a lot will travel private.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Which is interesting as well, because typically when they travel private, it's either with their own plane or a private plane that they're using. They usually will have, for one particular individual, they did have a private plane and they had somebody who managed that plane. So when they were going to travel, their plane person, I don't know what the job title would be for that, made sure that had stocked with all the food that they requested, everything they needed for their plane. Everything was ready to go, the heated blankets, and they would fly out of like, you know, Van Nuys Airport, I think it was. And then it's first class. I've never booked a coach ticket for a high net worth individual ever, actually, in my entire experience.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  It was always, you know, if they're flying on a plane, it was first class. And I did the packing as well. So they didn't have to, you know, it's so interesting too. So I would like do the packing, all the travels handled, right? Down to like, they just got to, even there's even a handler at the airport that's going to take them to where they need to go if they're on a plane. There's still so much stress around travel. There was always so much stress around travel still, no matter what, even with the like, you would think it's like seamless, right? Private plane, handler, first class, we're packed, you're ready to go, you don't have to think about anything. It's still, there was always this like frenzy, no matter what.

• 23:07Ramit Sethi?

  It kind of reminds me how I always say people, the way people feel about money is highly uncorrelated to the amount in their bank account. The way they feel about traveling, even if effectively everything is handled, it's this story that we often tell ourselves. Oh, travel's going to be crazy. You literally are not picking up a bag. Somebody's carrying your bag. They're putting it in the car. It's packed for you. It's put in the car for you. It's taken out of the car for you. You don't even pick up the handle. And yet it can feel stressful because that's what we think travel is supposed to be like.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 23:41Ramit Sethi?

  That's interesting. When we think about your clients, what did they spend on that surprised you? What were they surprisingly cheap about?

• 23:50Speaker 01

  The things that were spent on that surprised me, which I kind of mentioned previously, alcohol was always very interesting to me. The amount that was spent on alcohol. I just, it was a difficult concept. To be completely real, I didn't notice a cheapness. There wasn't a cheapness, like it wasn't, that wasn't something that would come up in the homes that I worked in. I was never like, wow, you're really not going to spend on that, but you're going to spend on this, like-

• 24:21Ramit Sethi?

  Tell me more about that. That's, that's actually so interesting.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:24Ramit Sethi?

  And I think what you're sharing with, you didn't ever discover your clients being cheap. That's so interesting because sometimes there actually are not trade offs. If they're generous in one area, they're generous for everything. They have nice soap, they have nice towels, they fly first class. It's all nice.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:43Ramit Sethi?

  Otherwise they probably wouldn't be hiring you. Was that your experience?

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Everything was quality. I didn't feel that there was a sense of cheapness. I just never got that. And then on the more higher end homes, and this is, I don't want to be judgmental because it's like, everybody spends their money differently and they're entitled to. A lot of the, like, that spending felt almost, it was disconnected from intentionality. It was more about like, how much can I spend? That's the best way I can put it. It was like, there was no intentionality. It was just like, I'm going to spend as much as I can possibly spend and, you know, the finest this and the finest that, but no cheapness.

• 25:27Ramit Sethi?

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Cheapness, yeah.

• 25:29Ramit Sethi?

  That's very interesting. So there, no cheapness in your clients?

• 25:33Speaker 01

  No.

• 25:34Ramit Sethi?

  But there's a difference between intentionality and just pure opulence for the sake of it.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  You know what's interesting? The, the family that I worked for that made the least out of all of these families took care of me the best, which was interesting. I wasn't as well compensated in the highest net worth home that I worked in as I was in the lower net worth home that I worked in. So perhaps that could, yeah, which was interesting.

• 25:59Ramit Sethi?

  That is interesting. So they might spend, the high, high, highest end person might spend more on a picture frame than they might spend on your annual salary.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  Or on alcohol than on my annual salary. Yes.

• 26:13Ramit Sethi?

  Right.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  Whereas the lower earner, but still very higher earner, took very good care of their employees is what I noticed.

• 26:20Ramit Sethi?

  That's quite interesting.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  There was a gratitude there as well. Yeah.

• 26:24Ramit Sethi?

  I mean, I can't think of a better thing to spend money on than great people.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:29Ramit Sethi?

  People you love, people you respect, especially people who are going to be in your house.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:35Ramit Sethi?

  Like you want them to be the best. I've found that, it's so interesting. I've found people that we pay a lot of money to. And in my experience, of course, they're great at their job. That's sort of table stakes. What I found is that they actually love their job so much that sometimes they'll just be checking in even on their off days. Hey, how did it go yesterday? Let me, they're genuinely invested. They really want to know, they really want to perform well, even if it's on a Saturday. Or even if they're on vacation, they might be checking in. And sometimes I'm like, we're good. You set everything up great. But I love that. I love that, that they really want to be amazing at their job.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  I agree. I, I think that's really true. And I also think, you know, like you said, this is somebody, they're in your home, they're seeing everything. It's so personal. You want to be able to trust this person.

• 27:33Ramit Sethi?

  For all of your clients at the totality of them, when you look at them, were they easy to work with? How would you describe them as employers?

• 27:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, like again, it varies family to family, you know? No, they're not all easy to work with, absolutely not. But some are an absolute delight. And I, to this day, maintain relationships with.

• 27:55Ramit Sethi?

  What's the difference between the, the good ones, the good employers or clients and the not so good ones?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  I feel like the not good employers almost had their money defining them. It was like, that was their identity. Ah, this is how much money I have. The good employers, money, it was a great thing to have and it bought them some peace of mind in a lot of areas, whether that was childcare or cooking, or whatever it was that they used to help make their life more convenient. But it didn't define who they were as an individual. It didn't define their values. And so that was like probably the biggest difference to me.

• 28:34Ramit Sethi?

  What did you believe about wealth before you started this job that you changed your mind about after working with these ultra wealthy clients?

• 28:44Speaker 01

  I think there's like a common, I've never felt this, but I think there's a very common belief that wealth, more money, you're happier. Everything's easier, life is easier. I don't find that to be true. I think money can bring ease and reduce friction in your life and help in many ways. But if you are using that as your value system, if that's what you meant to fulfill you is just the money. I didn't see happiness that way, when it was used that way. Where I saw happiness and money and true happiness and warmth and joy, even when it was being used to, whether it's nannies or whatever, was the intentionality behind the spending.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  So your value system, it comes down to the, the human really too. It's like, what is your value system? If all you value is money, then that's going to be evident. If you're using money to identify yourself, that's going to be evident.

• 29:39Ramit Sethi?

  What was an example of intentionality that you saw certain families using money for?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  One of the best families I ever worked for, you know, I, I loved this. They shopped at like a mom and pop shops. They supported local businesses. I always loved that. They refused to like, no Amazon. It was always helping keep the community running. They also gave a lot of charity. Yeah, even the things in the home. That were purchased were, you could just tell it was like, you know, not just like, oh, I'll take that and that because that that looks expensive and that look. It was like, there was thought that went into the rug that was the new rug that was on the floor or the new piece of art that hung over the fireplace.

• 30:27Ramit Sethi?

  I love that. When my wife and I went to Japan recently, but one of my favorite memories of that trip, this was in Kyoto, was after the tour, we're just like wandering around, just the two of us. And we saw this ceramic shop, we walk in and there's this older man. He speaks no English. We're using our translator with him. And we, we love the designs. We tell him, this is so beautiful. He says, I make all of this. And we're like, where? He goes, it's in the back. And so I was like, can we see it? And he, he's kind of embarrassed. He goes, okay, but you'll have to excuse me. I also live back there. I said, wow, it totally okay if not, but otherwise we'd love to see it.

• 31:11Ramit Sethi?

  He takes us back. We pass his tiny, tiny living area. And we walk into the back where there's the kiln, he's firing all this stuff. And we realize every single thing in this store is handmade. He makes it himself. He comes up with the design. And this stuff was moderately priced. But seeing him talk about it, he had a little booklet of all the things he'd made. He told us about his family. We bought so much stuff there and we use it. It's all over our apartment and we remember it. And we remember both of the people in that store. It's like, that made us so happy. So hearing a lot of what you experienced with what we do with our money.

• 31:54Ramit Sethi?

  It's like, that's joy to be able to spend and remember these things that are meaningful to you.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:02Ramit Sethi?

  Why do these families hire you? Like, what are they really paying for when they hire a house manager?

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Peace of mind. I'm like, uh, my friends would call me, we would joke, you know, it's like, I'm a, I'm like, it's like a security blanket. For me personally, this is like what my whole goal was when I was going in. It's like, I want them to know I'm going to get it done.

• 32:23Ramit Sethi?

  What are the red flags for you that would have made you turn down a job offer as a house manager?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Rigidity in an interview. To me, like severe rigidity, I'll say. I was once up for a job where I was told not to wear perfume or makeup. Perfume I kind of get because people are sensitive and have allergies. But makeup, I'm like, ooh, you know, that just didn't sit right with me. Also for me personally, it's like boundaries, you know, I do, I have a big family. Family is important. So I have to, if it's a 24/7 job, you, you have to like, if they're like, oh, if you're given a work phone, this is like a prime example. When I had a work phone, I was a bit, I had to be available. It's like, just know you're gonna, they're gonna and call that work phone.

• 33:09Ramit Sethi?

  What was your weirdest day on the job?

• 33:13Speaker 01

  Oh, that was so weird. Okay. When I was hired for the billionaire, it was my first day. I get to his house, this massive mansion in Malibu. You know, it's bustling already. I'm led to his office, this beautiful office. This is my workstation. This is where I'm going to work. I sit down at the desk and on the desk is a sheet of paper that had, it referenced, I can't, I'm not going to say specifically what it was. I don't know if it was a bank statement. It referenced a billion dollars and him. Basically that he was connected to a billion dollars. I thought it was so weird. I'm like, is this for me? Like, why is this here, sitting here? Come to find out later, and this is all my speculation,

• 33:57Speaker 01

  but there were cameras planted in the entire house and he watched them regularly, which is something I also found out. Like, it was a thing he did. He watched and he, it was probably, you know, lack of trust, understandably. I always felt like I was being watched and that that was put there to see like how I would react to that amount of money and like.

• 34:17Ramit Sethi?

  What do you think you wanted to see?

• 34:19Speaker 01

  If I had to guess, like, whoa, holy shit, a billion dollars. That would be my guess.

• 34:28Ramit Sethi?

  Right. Like, oh my god.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  Oh my.

• 34:31Ramit Sethi?

  I can't believe it.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't believe it. Cause it was like very evident, you know? Yeah, it was bizarre. And I just.

• 34:39Ramit Sethi?

  That's pretty interesting.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  It was interesting. It always stayed with me. Yeah.

• 34:42Ramit Sethi?

  Okay. What changed from the beginning to the end?

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Beginning was way more low maintenance. I started on a lower spectrum of wealth. And as I became more experienced, they're putting me in higher net worth homes. The more I can manage, the more higher net worth, I would move up almost the ladder.

• 35:01Ramit Sethi?

  I love it. Leah, thank you so much for walking us through what it's like to be a house manager.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:07Ramit Sethi?

  I just appreciate you taking us behind the scenes, especially with the wealthy and ultra wealthy families that you worked with. And that shows up everywhere. It's walking in my house, I know that it's going to be clean.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 35:17Ramit Sethi?

  Walking in the kitchen, I know that there's going to be no dirty dishes. Someone, there's some SOP somewhere that some person is going to have handled it.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:27Ramit Sethi?

  If my kid is supposed to be doing homework and I had to be somewhere else, somebody is sitting down with them and helping them with their homework. There's a million different life decisions on a daily basis.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  A million. And it varies family to family. And your job as a house manager is to, A, you know, familiarize yourself with their needs and know almost, it's, you want to know what they need before they even know they need it. That's what a good house manager is like.

• 35:58Ramit Sethi?

  It kind of gives us a really cool picture of what people choose to spend their money on.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, agreed.

• 36:02Ramit Sethi?

  Thank you, Leah. I really appreciate it.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Thank you. That was fun.

• 36:06Ramit Sethi?

  The reason that I share these examples of wealthy people and what they do with their money is that if you're following my advice, years from now, you're going to have more money than you ever thought possible. I don't want you to fall into the trap of just constantly seeking to accumulate more. What a waste of a life. I want you to practice the skill of spending money meaningfully so that as you accumulate more, you get better and better. More generous, more dialed in, more adventurous, all of the above. Now, if you want to see more behind the scenes looks at how the ultra wealthy actually spend their money on their house, on travel, on childcare, on all kinds of stuff, leave a comment below. Tell me what you want to see next.