Bill Burr | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

On this month’s Club Random Classics: Bill Maher and Bill Burr chop it up about, cancel culture, aging out of drinking, kids killing the vibe, self-driving cars, and the age-gap roast-off between the two Bills. They also get into Maher’s leopard-shoe incident, the absurdity of award shows, Burr falling hard for his wife, and his thoughts on The Beatles. This episode first aired May 12, 2024. Support our Advertisers: Check out https://www.squarespace.com/CLUBRANDOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code CLUBRANDOM If you’re hiring, you CAN find qualified candidates right away, time and time again—with ZipRecruiter. You can try it for FREE at https://⁠ZipRecruiter.com/RANDOM Try Claude for free at https://⁠claude.ai/clubrandom Check out Zyn.com/find to find ZYN at a store near you Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: [email protected] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 1:00Bill Maher?

  Well, on this month's Club Random Classics, we go back to Bill Burr with "Zero Filters, Duh," and plenty of punchlines. Cancel culture, aging, marriage, being a director for hire. We cut through the crap and nothing's off limits, as usual here. It's funny, it's rude, it's entertaining. I loved it. We get along in our way. So grab a drink and brace yourself for that one.

• 1:29Bill Maher?

  Bill?

• 1:30Speaker 03

  Hello, William.

• 1:33Bill Maher?

  You're there.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we're not confused. All right. What's going on, sir?

• 1:39Bill Maher?

  Match of your word.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. I showed up.

• 1:43Bill Maher?

  You showed up. You said you would, and you did. That means a lot to me. I appreciate it.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  Well, the bar is set low, if that's all it is. Like, who doesn't show up?

• 1:53Bill Maher?

  People. Are you kidding?

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Well, that's why I don't have guests. That's why I don't have guests, for the most part. I don't have guests because I don't want to deal with that.

• 2:01Bill Maher?

  That is something I also am somewhat in awe of. I couldn't do that. You know, there's some things I can do, I think, in show business as good or better than anybody. But then there's things like improv I couldn't do. Rap.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  Rap, there you go.

• 2:15Bill Maher?

  Especially right up the dome.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, that's amazing.

• 2:18Bill Maher?

  That blows my mind. But also, but just talking straight to the camera, just starting and it's just you. Rush Limbaugh did it.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Yes, he did.

• 2:30Bill Maher?

  And you do it. But that is a rare skill, my friend, to just go.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  It's probably some personality flaw in the rest of my life, but in that moment, it works.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Well, I know a lot of people that would agree with you.

• 2:46Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, don't you have a childhood that lends itself to humor because of... What was the Boston comic who used to say he had a bad father like you did? And he was like, when Bing Crosby's kids were like talking about how Bing Crosby was, remember that?

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:08Bill Maher?

  He was like, hey, my dad used to hit us with your father's record.

• 3:19Bill Maher?

  You know, that was a Boston comic, I forget who it was.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, there was a...

• 3:25Bill Maher?

  But yeah, you have fodder, you know, like all of pain in life is fodder for art, right?

• 3:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I guess that's kind of how it, it's kind of how it works.

• 3:40Bill Maher?

  I mean...

• 3:41Speaker 03

  That's class, look at that. I just, I used to, when I used to drink, I used to just fill it up till it was above the ice cubes.

• 3:46Bill Maher?

  Well, I used to drink like that too, but you know, we all have to throttle back as we get old.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Those are my, I like that joke that you used to do. Said if you don't stop drinking, as you get older, you start looking like a Kennedy.

• 3:57Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  But it's not, it's not just...

• 4:01Bill Maher?

  I mean, he did have that.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  He had a lot of demons.

• 4:05Bill Maher?

  No, but he had.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  He would have been a hell of a stand up. All the pain that guy had and then the pain he caused.

• 4:10Bill Maher?

  Ted Kennedy?

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, he would have crushed it, that giant head.

• 4:13Bill Maher?

  I know stories about him from like.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Let's keep it light, huh?

• 4:20Bill Maher?

  What could be?

• 4:21Speaker 03

  You're going, yeah, you're going to Ted, you're Teddy Darkness. Can I smoke a cigar in here?

• 4:25Bill Maher?

  Of course, you can do whatever you want in here. But I dated someone whose mother like was someone he visited as a lady.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  They had a book club.

• 4:43Bill Maher?

  What do you defend? By the way, you were very good as Jack Kennedy in the Seinfeld movie.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you.

• 4:48Bill Maher?

  That was a perfect.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  I had a great, wasn't that a great movie?

• 4:51Bill Maher?

  So good.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  I've loved it.

• 4:52Bill Maher?

  And you know what? I have to say, and Jerry was here just a few days ago. I heard terrible things about it. To be honest, I don't know why.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Because I think younger people didn't know some of the references.

• 5:06Bill Maher?

  I don't think they even saw it yet. I didn't know where that came from. And then I watched it, I was like, wow. Not only is the is the concept so genius, the juxtaposition of the most trivial thing in the world, breakfast cereal with all that stuff that was going on in the 60s, NASA and the Cold War, you know, all the.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  But what's funny is the battle that Kellogg's and Post, it's the same battle that people are fighting with Army. I loved all of that. I also loved when they went to the grocery store when Post and Kellogg's are racing to get their their Pop Tarts there. Did you notice one truck was a Ford, one was a Chevy?

• 5:42Bill Maher?

  No, I did not.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Like, there was a lot of like little things in there.

• 5:47Bill Maher?

  Oh, there were.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  For that.

• 5:48Bill Maher?

  But what's funny is treating it as if it was the end of the world, the space.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:56Bill Maher?

  That's what was funny, the end cruise jet, that it was important, the Cuba, the Cold War, El Sucre, all that stuff. And the pacing, for a first time director, I thought, I love that about it, but it just moved, you know.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Comedians make good directors, though. They do.

• 6:12Bill Maher?

  Like who else's would be in that category?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  There was this guy, Bill Burr, directed this movie, Old Dads.

• 6:16Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I saw it. It was good. You're right.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  I thought you were gonna say, I didn't think it was that good.

• 6:20Bill Maher?

  No, I didn't know you.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  My heart just went down like that. I was like, oh, God, I just set myself up.

• 6:25Bill Maher?

  I actually didn't know you directed it.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  I directed it because there was no one available. That's the only reason why I did it. Because we were coming out of the pandemic, so all the directors that were gonna shoot something in 2020, whenever the hell it was, they didn't shoot it because we were quarantined. And then they were like two projects behind, so they started pulling that like, it's gonna go away, it's gonna go away.

• 6:46Bill Maher?

  You have a big future in filmmaking, very much like Louis C.K., but you know, without the.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Louis is just making movies on his own.

• 6:52Bill Maher?

  I know.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Did you see that one?

• 6:54Bill Maher?

  I loved it.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  That Fourth of July with Chilis?

• 6:56Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was fantastic.

• 6:58Bill Maher?

  I mean, don't get me started on that, but I, isn't it time everyone just went, okay, it wasn't a cool thing to do, but it's been long enough. And welcome back to the world.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  You took 50 million dollars from them. I think they punished them.

• 7:13Bill Maher?

  Enough, enough. Not every, I mean, for Christ's sake, it's not the end of the world. People have done so much more worse things and gotten less. There's no rhyme or reason to the, to the me too type punishments.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Well, it's like most things. It started off with something everyone could agree on, and then quickly it just spun out of, I remember whenever that cancel culture got to the point of where it was, I don't like some of the topics in your stand-up act.

• 7:44Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's when it got weird. But like, it's, that's all over. It's all over. That's, that's.

• 7:49Bill Maher?

  What's over? Cancel culture?

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, no one cares anymore.

• 7:52Bill Maher?

  That's so, that's so not true. Either one of us could get canceled in the next two minutes.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  No. For what? Well, if you're not doing anything. It was just like, you, you, you did this joke about, you know, this group of people or that group of people, and I've decided to, I, I, you know, it's, I don't know. I feel like I'm going back two years in my life. Like, I don't even, I don't even think about it anymore. Nice ashtray, by the way.

• 8:15Bill Maher?

  Isn't that lovely?

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:16Bill Maher?

  I've never known where I got anything. I probably should. Somebody gave this to me.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's the kind of thing they used to give you when you retired after a while. A watch and an ashtray. Martini shaker.

• 8:29Bill Maher?

  When you think about like how much, you know, when you, I don't know, you probably had similar upbringings. You know, you treasured like almost every physical thing you had, even it was a hand me down. Like you had just certain things in your little room. And then as you go through life, so much stuff. And you don't even know where you got all the stuff.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Well, you know what about that? What's great about that is there's no upgrade. And everything became like disposable. Like, like electric cars or like laptops. Like after a couple of years, like they're not worth anything because of like the technology, which doesn't even make sense. But like same thing with like a laptop, with phones, all of that stuff.

• 9:11Bill Maher?

  What do you drive?

• 9:12Speaker 03

  What do I drive? I'm a truck guy. I got a Ford F-250 and I have an old F-100.

• 9:19Bill Maher?

  Really? Why?

• 9:21Speaker 03

  The same reason. Why does a guy drive a Ferrari down Sunset Strip and never take it to a racetrack? That's what he's into. My Ferrari is, I always wanted a Ford F-250, eight foot bed, regular cab.

• 9:31Bill Maher?

  Why? You hauling dirt?

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Is that guy going to the racetrack? Have you ever driven one of those on a racetrack? You cannot flip them over. They're unbelievable, the technology and the respect you get for racing of what they're putting their bodies through. Cause I didn't, you know, I was driving like an asshole. I finally realized that you try to go smooth around the track, not try to just stomp on the gas and slam on the brakes. But like, um, I like driving, that's why I like cigars. I like going slow because my brain goes fast. And there's something about driving a truck. It's slow, it slows me down and I can think.

• 10:07Bill Maher?

  You like driving?

• 10:09Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 10:10Bill Maher?

  Me too. I would hate to be at that stage or for whatever reason, where I had to be driven everywhere, you know? I mean, sometimes you do, like when around the road, probably get picked up by somebody. Right, you're not driving yourself in Cincinnati.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 10:26Bill Maher?

  But I, there's something, and I see these electric cars now, next to me on the highway. That, I mean, not like self-driving cars.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  That's insane. First of all, what, can I ask you a question? Why do we need that?

• 10:41Bill Maher?

  I'll never get used to it is the bottom line is I don't think I will like some things. Look, I don't fight progress. I mean, we all love our phones. Come on, to put a little computer like that in your pocket that does so many things, it was it changed everybody's lives mostly for the better and some for the worst when it's done to kids' heads. Really fuck them up.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Kids' heads, my head. I can't like I stayed off Instagram for a month and my short term memory got like it felt like 30% better. And I realized like, oh, maybe I'm not getting dementia. I just think my brain is like getting scrambled like the amount of times I'm sitting there going like, put this down, put it down, talk to your wife. You're supposed to be watching this movie with her. And like something on TV, I'll be like, is that guy still alive? Or like, what kind of car is that? And then I'm just fucking I'm like that. And I miss.

• 11:35Bill Maher?

  You mean, you're looking up the answer to those questions?

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Which then and then that leads me to videos. And then I'm just going like, I never saw that movie Girl Interrupted. And I saw it on the Criterion Channel. I want to watch that. And there's all these great actors in it. I want to see this. So I put it on. And something in there reminded me of one flew over the cuckoo's nest. And I was trying to think of the cast, you know, who was in it. Danny DeVito was in it, young Danny DeVito and all of that. And I just went down this thing. And all of a sudden, it felt like 10 minutes. And the credits were rolling. And I was going like, like someone I forget somebody won an Oscar on that movie. And I like totally spaced on it.

• 12:13Bill Maher?

  I think that might be the difference in our generations, which is not that I mean, we're maybe like 13 years apart.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  You're one of my elders, man. I respect you for that.

• 12:22Bill Maher?

  I feel like I'm in the Reagan Mondale debate.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  No, I just remember when you did my podcast, you kept getting like, I'm not that much older than you.

• 12:30Bill Maher?

  And I'm not.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Dude, 13 years is a long fucking time.

• 12:33Bill Maher?

  Well, I think the point I made then, and I'll remake it for you is that to anyone young, who is what we care about in this generation, in this discussion, because it's like, well, we don't want to lose that audience. Trust me, when you're 25, you and I are the same. And I told you this story about.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  How dare you. You dress like you paint. Look at you.

• 12:52Bill Maher?

  When Leno and Conan were going through that whole thing that we all remember as comedians so well, remember the fight for the crown at the Tonight Show? I think it was 2009 and I was with a, my girlfriend was 25 at the time. And we were talking about it and I said, well, you know, it's a big age difference. Leno's 59 and Conan's 46 and she went, yeah, that's the same thing to me. And I always remember that. So we're this, we are the younger audience.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  No, no, you and I are just like hanging out, talking, but if we go back far enough.

• 13:25Bill Maher?

  You're a dad.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  If we go, if we go back like.

• 13:27Bill Maher?

  That adds 10 years. You're married and a dad. See.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  No, it doesn't.

• 13:31Bill Maher?

  Yes, it does.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  You just hate kids.

• 13:33Bill Maher?

  I, I do, but like having never gotten married, not, not married, not kids, that definitely closes that gap. Anyway, the point being.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  I don't like how you just made that point and then said, anyway, really quickly before I could refute it. Anyway, did you learn that in debating class?

• 13:48Bill Maher?

  I did.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Cause you said, anyway, I'm gonna roll with that? No.

• 13:50Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, you gotta play.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  No, you, but it's like, I mean, you're like pre stand-up spotlight, you know, as far as like, you know.

• 13:58Bill Maher?

  What does that mean?

• 13:59Speaker 03

  I mean, that's just, I mean, you were like comedy on the road, evening at the improv. I mean, that's, yeah, that's a whole different generation than mine.

• 14:06Bill Maher?

  I was, the point I was gonna make is that we, this to me says two different generations. Like, I don't think many people from my generation ever have what you just described. This, this addiction to social media, going down rabbit holes. Uh, the attention span issue here where you, you're watching something, but it makes you think of something else. And then you go to that, just what you were just telling me.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:31Bill Maher?

  Uh, that's like very elegant to me.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  One of the best things you did for society is you didn't have kids.

• 14:37Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  You know?

• 14:38Bill Maher?

  Thank you. I know you meant that in a snarky way.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  No, no, but I, no.

• 14:41Bill Maher?

  It's okay.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  We know, we need more people like you.

• 14:45Bill Maher?

  We do.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  That can just admit that I don't wanna deal with this shit. The worst thing is, is when a person who doesn't wanna have kids, has kids, cause they think they're supposed to do it. And then they fucking don't like them and then that kid has to spend their whole life without that love. And then they meet my kid and then they're a fucking asshole to them.

• 15:03Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  That's, so then it's one, or they met us or whatever. So like, um.

• 15:08Bill Maher?

  Has that happened? Had kids, your kids have had to encounter kids who you thought were shitty kids because of the parents being shitty?

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Well, that's one of my favorite things that they say, like when they go, you know what, kids are mean. And you know what I always say to them? I always say, yeah, you know who makes kids? God. So stop like worshiping this guy every fucking Sunday. He makes mean kids who say shit to other kids. Who, he makes, he makes people who don't want to have kids who end up having kids and then those kids don't get love and then they go to school and they're fucking mean. And they say stuff to kids, they carry it for the rest of their lives. Like if anything I can instill with my kids is like, like I, the attribute I have as a father is I remember what it was like to be a kid. So one of the big things is when, in the morning time when my kids are getting dressed, my wife picks out the clothes, if they're like, I don't like this shirt.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  I'm like, wear one that you like. Because if you go to school with, I don't like my shirt energy, your shoulders are gonna be slumped and then they're coming at you. I want you liking your shirt. Let's start your day liking what you're wearing.

• 16:15Bill Maher?

  I wish I had someone to tell me that. Most of my schooling, I would say most, I went to school with a knot in my stomach.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, you got, yeah, you got picked on.

• 16:27Bill Maher?

  Because even if I wasn't, it was always the potential and sometimes I was. They just, it just never felt right to me. If you're a control freak, which I kinda am, childhood is a kind of torture because you just do not have control yet. I got happier as I got older because I got more control. I didn't, I don't need the control.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  You know what, I remember the first night when I moved out and I was on my own and I remember just being out and having nobody to answer to when I got home and I was just like, this is fucking amazing.

• 17:01Bill Maher?

  It's an exhilarating feeling.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:04Bill Maher?

  It is.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  But then what you quickly realize is you have to become your own parent, which you have to tell yourself it's time to go to bed or maybe you're drinking too much or something like that because I saw.

• 17:13Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  You know, you see, you watch people mess up, not just show business, but just careers in general because they, they, you know, they can't like, I feel like the people that had the most overbearing parents, a lot of times. Like, just that feeling when they finally move out of freedom. It's like, literally, I can't, it's, I think it's too much for them.

• 17:36Bill Maher?

  Yes, it is. It's, you know what it is? It's, it's, uh, Morgan Freeman, no. Who's the other guy in Shawshank Redemption who?

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Tim Robbins.

• 17:46Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but no, the guy who, he gets out of prison.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Well, the old guy, yeah.

• 17:50Bill Maher?

  Can't handle it because he's so used to prison. And now he's like, he's working at the supermarket. And he says, can I take a pee, boss? And they say, uh, you don't have to ask every time. You just take a pee, you know?

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:04Bill Maher?

  And he can't hack it. There is something to that. I mean, the mind is a strange place.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  I feel like people that watch 24-hour news networks get institutionalized to blame colors of ties rather than the corporations behind them. And they will just sit there convinced that, you know, Trump is the worst thing that happened to this country, or Biden is the worst thing that happened to this country. And it's just like, you know, you might want to just kind of push through that veil a little bit further.

• 18:32Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  And, uh, so I kind of have this thing, like, when I get around, like, the 24-hour news zombies. Um, I just, Jesus Christ, was that Geritol?

• 18:46Speaker 03

  Nobody, nobody under the age of 50 got that one.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Remember that? That was on the Lawrence Welk Show. He used to, he used to, he used to, uh, pedal the Geritol.

• 18:56Bill Maher?

  To my point, the 25-year-old is watching this going, look at these two old guys. They're not going, oh, the guy with cigars is obviously 13 years younger.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  I know, but you have to go all the way down to 25 to appear my age.

• 19:12Bill Maher?

  Well, um, I don't, I don't mind.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Look at the difference, you can just see the way we, the way we dress. We're not different people. This is like, you know, you come from, you know, the slacks generation. Like, slacks were still a thing. No, but slacks were a thing.

• 19:26Bill Maher?

  No, I look good. That's the difference, is that you were wearing, you're wearing sneakers. You got a tee, you got a tee shirt on, like, I-

• 19:36Speaker 03

  You look like a fucking defendant. Look at you trying to beat a drinking and driving charge. He doesn't have any priors, your honor. Look at him, he's wearing his Chelsea boots. He's, he's a fucking, what do they call it? A productive member of society. He needs his car for work. I think that this, this should be a suspension, not a, not a full on.

• 20:01Bill Maher?

  That's good.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  You ever get busted for that?

• 20:04Bill Maher?

  What?

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Trinket of driving?

• 20:05Bill Maher?

  Yes, I had a DUI in 92. It was a nightmare, could have wrecked my life because it was just as I was starting politically incorrect. And I had to get a special dispensation from the court to interrupt my 14 week corrective program that you have to go to when you get a DUI. And if he, if, if they didn't.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  I would have killed to watch you in that classroom, having lost all that control.

• 20:32Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  And just having to sit there in that desk.

• 20:35Bill Maher?

  Everybody who got a DUI, I mean, it was just a cross section of society. We're, we're in criminals. We were just like people, just douchebag millennials coming home from club. And we had one too many and were driving too fast. When I was stopped, I happened to be wearing leopard print shoes. Now, if you think I wasn't gonna get a ticket that night, I don't, and you know.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  I wanna hear why, what, what sort of party were you going to where that seemed like?

• 21:00Bill Maher?

  It wasn't a party, it was 1992. I had just done a sitcom and it was wardrobe from the sitcom I had. I guess we thought, you know, don't ask me about clothes. You had, I'm sure you wore also ridiculous things in the day.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  No, I did, but I didn't, like leopard print was always like.

• 21:20Bill Maher?

  Leopard.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  That was always for that woman of a certain age that wanted, you know, one more lap around the block. She'd go to a local watering hole and she'd wear her leopard print blouse.

• 21:30Bill Maher?

  Well, I'm sure some cool people have worn leopard print in the past. I'm sure I could find pictures of rock stars.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 21:37Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  But they can wear, they can, they can wear anything.

• 21:40Bill Maher?

  Anyway.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  Not Bill Maher, reading the New York Times, driving around fucking leopard print shoes.

• 21:45Bill Maher?

  You know what I really resented, and they were, I mean, they were hard. If you, if you were, if you missed a meeting, or if you were late by even one minute, you had to repeat the whole program. You had to go to 6AA meetings, which I really resented because I was a little over the limit. But I was not, doesn't mean, mean I was an alcoholic. So that I had to go to these meetings and we would go around the room and everybody would say, "Hi, I'm Phil, I'm an alcoholic, I'm Bob, I'm an alcoholic." I wouldn't say it. I just wouldn't. I'm like, "Hi, I'm Bill, I'm not an alcoholic." They made me come to this class.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  That's great. They just said that.

• 22:21Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  No, and that's the thing, alcoholics are cool. Like, they would be like, "All right, I get it."

• 22:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah, absolutely. And I wasn't the only one in there like that.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  You know, and I also, I bet, like, part of being an alcoholic is drunk drivers passing through your classes, groups of them. Yeah, I got busted in 89.

• 22:38Bill Maher?

  So at the, when you got this DUI.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  That was like a part of growing up. That's all you did was drive drunk. And the thing about it is, is there was no Uber back then, so you just kinda had to like, we were all idiots and we didn't understand that we could kill somebody. Even in the days they dragged the wreckage there, you just had that young stupid brain, like, "It's not gonna happen to me." So that would end up being, that was like the best thing that happened to me, because that happened when I was 21 and I was already starting to feel, like, 21 felt old to me then. And I was like, "What am I doing?" You know, I'm going part-time to college, I'm unloading trucks, and I'm getting shitfaced and I'm broke every Thursday, waiting for my check. What am I doing? Like, how long can I do this?

• 23:16Bill Maher?

  That is what has made you the guy who sells stadiums, which is very, very few comics.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Oh, he did.

• 23:24Bill Maher?

  I know, but you're, you, you play to the size of an audience that very, very, very, very few comics do, or ever get to do. Not that I'm, many wouldn't even want to, but they don't even get the option. But it all comes from, you are an everyman. They, every crate you lifted, all that stuff, they see in you. Which, and you're, of course, very funny and great at your craft, but like, there is a emotional connection that they have to you. That's a very valuable thing.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  But I, I think that where I grew up, though. Is another thing, because I've grown up, I'm trying, like, I have a hard time thinking of people in my life, all my childhood friends, everybody I worked with, every place I worked, everybody was funny. There's a weird thing about, oh my god. Dude, there was-

• 24:15Bill Maher?

  Wicked funny?

• 24:18Speaker 03

  Dude, there's guys I went to high school with, I'm still not as funny as they were. And the thing about it was, what made them even funnier was they weren't trying to be funny.

• 24:26Bill Maher?

  Well, they must be really pissed off.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  They-

• 24:29Bill Maher?

  Because they're still carrying the crates.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  No, they had, they just had good childhoods. They had cool parents and like, they were happy and-

• 24:35Bill Maher?

  But you said they're funnier than you.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  I mean, as far as I remember, like, they, they, you know-

• 24:41Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Like, some of the guys that I, I can't even explain, like, they, they, they were, they, there's a difference, like, I tell the story, they were the story. Like, these guys, they would, they would get into a fucking fistfight. They didn't care where they were. And, and I always, like, just looked at them, they were like, they were free. I just loved, like, I would be like-

• 25:01Bill Maher?

  Because they were kids. Because when we're kids, everything's funny, everybody seems funny, you're just, you're just filled with so much extra energy. And part of it, you expend just giggling and laughing if you're in a good mood and you're not, when you're not-

• 25:15Speaker 03

  No, these guys were fucking funny.

• 25:19Speaker 04

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• 25:48Speaker 00

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• 26:16Speaker 05

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• 26:18Speaker 03

  I remember one of my-

• 26:19Bill Maher?

  You remember that one?

• 26:20Speaker 03

  No, I had a buddy of mine, he fucking, you know, all my friends gamble. He was losing so much fucking money on, on, on the Houston Rockets. He kept doubling down, thinking that they were gonna win and they kept losing games. They had these great players and he literally called long distance information, not joking. He said in Houston, last name Olajuwon.

• 26:43Speaker 03

  And he didn't say he was gonna do it. He went up and did it and we just looked over and we just started fucking like, he was high. But he literally thought that he was gonna get Hakeem Olajuwon on the phone and he was gonna read him the riot act the way he played that night. Like, I'm talking about that shit. Like, I would have done that as the joke, just so everyone would hear it. He did it dead serious.

• 27:06Speaker 03

  I'm talking about guys that would go in to get their haircut and they had a fucking joint behind their ear and they would comb out their hair and it would fall. Like, they were, they were fucking hilarious and they weren't trying to be, just how they lived their lives was fucking hilarious. By the way, that was the same guy. My friends will watch this, I know who he's talking about. The same guy did both of those.

• 27:22Bill Maher?

  I guess I'm less of a fan of practical jokes than many others are. I guess I'm more a verbal, but you know, like, I've-

• 27:31Speaker 03

  There was no practical joke in there.

• 27:33Bill Maher?

  Kind of, when you, when you actually do it.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  He was speaking from his heart.

• 27:37Bill Maher?

  No, the Olajuwon thing? I mean, to do that?

• 27:40Speaker 03

  He, he like legit thought he was gonna get him on the phone.

• 27:45Bill Maher?

  I understand. To me, that's a practical joke. It's practical.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  I thought a practical joke is if I stick a bucket of water above a door and you open it and it gets you all wet.

• 27:52Bill Maher?

  That's another kind.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  And then I go, "Augga" with a horn?

• 27:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, like, you always hear these stories about how George Clooney and some of these big stars, they're like, they're practical jokers. Like, like on, on one movie, I forget he did with Matt Damon, and every day, he had the wardrobe department take out his pants just a little bit, take in his pants, so that he thought he was getting fat when he really wasn't, because the pants would not fit.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's fucking, I mean- That's a joke? That's like a fucking nightmare. Here's another thing too, for young actors, when you go to wardrobe, because they wear the same pants, like, I don't give a fuck what it says on the size, it's not that size. They either let it out, let it in, and I used to just go in like, "I'm a fucking 34, like, what is going on, am I retaining water, what's going on?" And like, it really gets in your head, and you start eating like salads and shit, you know, and it's just like...

• 28:41Bill Maher?

  What is your regimen? I'm very curious, like, your health regimen. How much do you care about what you eat, or are you...

• 28:49Speaker 03

  No, I do, I, uh... I don't fuck with desserts, I don't eat bread, and I've laid off like sugar and stuff. I had a little bit of a relapse, but like, when you get to be my age, you're not gonna go to the gym and burn it off. What's gonna happen is your joints are gonna wear out before the donut does. So just stop eating the fucking donut. So, I just try to like,

• 29:11Bill Maher?

  Yeah!

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Maintain, and I keep my shirt on. I'm not, I'm not one of these testosterone fucking HGH guy. What do you think, what do you think the price of that's gonna be? Because you can't have your cake and eat it. You can't get your frat boy yoked body back.

• 29:26Bill Maher?

  At a certain age, you can look good in clothes.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:30Bill Maher?

  Okay? And you just have to accept that. And luckily, women accept that, most women, it's very, very rare that...

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Women are very forgiving. I also think they like if you're a little bit out of shape, because it gives them some leeway.

• 29:41Bill Maher?

  Well, you keep telling yourself that, they don't like that, but...

• 29:44Speaker 03

  I'm not telling myself that, I'm telling you that.

• 29:47Bill Maher?

  Okay. Who, I'm, that's, I just don't think that's true, but, but...

• 29:52Speaker 03

  That's how you say it.

• 29:53Bill Maher?

  But they are much more forgiving of that than men are. You know, the old saying, "Men fall in love through their eyes, women fall in love through their ears."

• 30:04Bill Maher?

  We are...

• 30:04Speaker 03

  It's just somebody selling books.

• 30:06Bill Maher?

  No, that, no, that, there's, no, there is truth in that, are you kidding? There is absolute truth in that. Women can be, what?

• 30:14Speaker 03

  That's, that, to me, is when you're younger. When you get older and you're actually wanting to get married, what you're looking for is a good person. And at that point, I feel like men and women, it kind of levels out. And, and at that point, you realize, alright, I got some baggage, you got some, can I deal with your bullshit? You know what I mean? There has to be that initial attraction and all of that, but it really comes down... To that, like, um, you know what got me, but my wife is gorgeous, but what really got my me like going, who is this person? I remember we were hanging out, I had a sulfur that folded down to a futon when I first met her. And we were watching TV and somehow we were talking about dogs and she started imitating a dog.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Go whoa, whoa, whoa, and she, she just threw herself into it and it was fucking adorable. And there was, there was like a freedom of the way she did it. And that's the second time I brought that up when I used to watch my friends just get into fights, the freedom of it. Cause I lived in such an oppressive fucking kind of thing, control freak thing, that I was really attracted to that. And, and like, um, I was still as a performer, trying to free myself up on stage. And I just saw, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. And I just thought, and just seeing this other side of her, that, you know, like there's this whole stereotype that beautiful women aren't funny. My wife is fucking hilarious. So it was kind of this, and then I got in a car with her one time and she puts on like Steely Dan. I'm in Harlem, okay?

• 31:42Speaker 03

  African American woman, she pops in Steely Dan, like the fucking levels. I was just going like, who is this person? And, and there was beyond anything that I had met. So that's how, I, I didn't be like, oh, look at, you know, nice tits. It wasn't that, it was like, this person is like.

• 31:59Bill Maher?

  Was this the first black girl you ever went with?

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Uh, I was equal opportunity, so no, I, I kinda, I dated them all. I had a good time in New York, put it that way. I had a good time.

• 32:09Bill Maher?

  You lived in New York?

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Well, I, first thing, initially I lived my shutdown years, the cold war emotionally for me was growing up in Massachusetts. And then when I went down to New York and I finally had moved out and everything and finally got through college, I went down there and I, and I.

• 32:24Bill Maher?

  So that's where you went after college, New York?

• 32:26Speaker 03

  I stayed home and paid off my col-, I paid off my college debt. And, uh, my, uh, one of my buddies gave me some money cause, you know, we had a big family. So, I mean, you kinda had to like work your way through college, so, uh. I had to pay that off and then going to New York scared the shit out of me. So I had a day job and I was doing stand up and I was, and I was driving this piece of shit car from high school. I put a new engine in it so I wouldn't take on the debt. And I saved up, like, I had like 10 grand. And then I just went down to New York, you know, and I was going like, all right, I gotta get a day job. And somehow that morphed into, I need to get more gigs and I never got a day job.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  And I, I had just a couple of acting gigs that padded me enough. That, then I got an agent and then I, I, I've been on, like, I haven't had a day job since 95, which is so cool to me.

• 33:19Bill Maher?

  I mean, we are so fortunate. I always say, I hope there's not reincarnation because I will not, I'm not gonna pull a better life.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 33:31Bill Maher?

  And I know that, I mean, I know that sounds crazy to some people like, and maybe it's not, maybe it is crazy because maybe some people live lives that we have no idea about. And it's really great to be an accountant.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  No, but the thing is, if, if.

• 33:43Bill Maher?

  It could be.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  But some people, that's their passion. So for them, that's not.

• 33:48Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  That's not working or managing people's money or construction or whatever. People like building stuff or whatever. I think the big thing that everybody would like is to do a job that they love and work for themselves. That's kind of the best.

• 34:01Bill Maher?

  The idea that we're working now.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Is a joke.

• 34:04Bill Maher?

  We are working.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  It's literally a joke, yeah.

• 34:06Bill Maher?

  But we are working. Now, why can't we just say, people are different, especially.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  You can't say that and you just said it and nothing's gonna, there's nothing gonna be.

• 34:14Bill Maher?

  But we should say it. We're just different when it comes to how we, what we want, how we relate to.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  No, that's true. Cause I'll tell you this.

• 34:23Bill Maher?

  Some people aren't even heterosexual, believe it or not.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Here's one.

• 34:26Bill Maher?

  They're gay and trans.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  And that, ever since that has gone like mainstream, like when we were growing up, it was like. You're either gay or straight. That was it. You didn't realize there was this whole fucking, this whole, there's like a whole thing going on there.

• 34:43Bill Maher?

  There's another difference in generations. When I was growing up, it wasn't even gay. It wasn't even there. I don't remember that coming up in high school at all. And trans, I never even heard of in high school.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  I saw this great, there's nothing to why you should scroll, is the level of comedy by regular people, the comments that they leave on this, oh my god.

• 35:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I agree with that.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  They're fucking amazing.

• 35:02Bill Maher?

  They are, they come, yeah.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  So someone was, they showed this clip of Liberace. And it was that weird period where rock and roll, rock had taken over. And there was these older acts trying to be hip. So they were doing their swing versions of like these rock songs. So I forget, I forget what Liberace was singing, but the way he was dressed and just like, just running around like that. And this guy wrote in the comments, he said, he said, "When I was younger, my dad described Liberace as an eccentric old man."

• 35:35Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  You weren't gay. He's, he's a little eccentric. He wanted it better, but like, all, all his homosexuality was filed under eccentric. And it's just like this.

• 35:44Bill Maher?

  They, they had many, many euphemisms for gay. You couldn't say that in Hollywood, for example, the director George Cukor was, was, everyone in town knew he was gay.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  His name was Cukor?

• 35:55Bill Maher?

  Cuk, no, Cuk, George Cukor, C U K O R. You never heard of him?

• 36:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 36:02Bill Maher?

  Phyllis.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Was his brother Billy Boom Mike?

• 36:05Bill Maher?

  What?

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Oh, Cukor, it's like all like I'm with the camera.

• 36:09Bill Maher?

  Cukor, not Q card.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 36:12Bill Maher?

  Anyway, he was known as a woman's director. They couldn't say gay. That was the.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  He's a confirmed bachelor.

• 36:21Bill Maher?

  That's another one.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  That was another one.

• 36:22Bill Maher?

  Yes, a confirmed, confirmed bachelor.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  I actually, out of all this shit, like, homophobia's gotta be the dumbest. It's just how somebody is born. And I don't understand why anybody gives a fuck, but it's true though.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  You didn't like that?

• 36:37Bill Maher?

  It is true. I'm just saying it just it sounds like-

• 36:39Speaker 03

  I deserved that a little bit, but I don't I don't understand like why all of these people- well, religion, right? That's what gets everybody going.

• 36:47Bill Maher?

  Yes, and I certainly made my bones with that subject. So I'm glad we're on the same page there. I-

• 36:54Speaker 03

  I am 100% on the same page. I'm not saying that there's not something out there, but it doesn't give a fuck about us. Or it wouldn't have set this thing up the way it is.

• 37:01Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Where-

• 37:02Bill Maher?

  That's a good way to put it.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Where sociopaths seem to just fall up the stairs of success. And then these fucking nerds make all their dreams come true, whatever weaponry or robot they want, they make them.

• 37:15Bill Maher?

  No, justice on earth is like an award show. It's just random.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. And it gets dark.

• 37:26Bill Maher?

  That does-

• 37:27Speaker 03

  It does get dark.

• 37:27Bill Maher?

  I thought we'd just let that sit there.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:29Bill Maher?

  But, um, well, you're a great star.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Well, here's something. I'll tell you about great being a parent is all the highs I've had as a comedian. There was no bigger high than teaching my daughter how to ride a bicycle. That day I let go and she took off was fucking amazing.

• 37:44Bill Maher?

  What do your kids think of daddy big star? And like daddy playing these arenas and like-

• 37:51Speaker 03

  They don't really know. My daughter said to me, she's only like, she knows now, but when she was like five, she said to me, she goes, Dad, how come everybody knows who you are? And I just go, I'm old. I've met a lot of people. I don't have like pictures of me, you know, doing stand up in my house. I'm just totally like-

• 38:07Bill Maher?

  You lied to the child.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:09Bill Maher?

  You lied to a child.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Well, she didn't say you were a comedian and I said, no, I just don't bring that home. I'm dead. I don't want to be a comedian in my house.

• 38:20Bill Maher?

  But they're going to notice.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're gonna, but I don't, I'm not embarrassed of my job.

• 38:24Bill Maher?

  Not embarrassed?

• 38:26Speaker 03

  But I don't come home and be like, hey, you know, I made bonus this weekend in the improv. They had to add a show for dad. Like, I would never do that. And also like I, I like-

• 38:35Bill Maher?

  No, but kids-

• 38:36Speaker 03

  I understand that I chose to be in this business and they didn't. If they want to get in the business, I think it's a great business. To be in, no, no, no better or worse than any other business. And it's just like, if you want to get into it, get into it. But don't, I'm not going to be like.

• 38:50Bill Maher?

  But there are positives.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  Stage mom.

• 38:52Bill Maher?

  There are positives and negatives, but it's, it's, it's undeniably a variable in a kid's upbringing when their father is, has fame and a, and a great success. I mean, that's not the, that's not the experience of kids, most kids. Now, there's many ways you can handle it. I mean, we see a lot of nepo babies. We see a lot of.

• 39:14Speaker 03

  I love that nepo baby. Everybody's a nepo baby.

• 39:17Bill Maher?

  No, they're not.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, they are. If your dad's a dentist and you become a dentist, now I don't give you credit for being a dentist because your dad was filling teeth.

• 39:24Bill Maher?

  What a dumb analogy.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Why?

• 39:26Bill Maher?

  Because we're talking about nepo and, and we're talking about in.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  You are.

• 39:32Bill Maher?

  I am?

• 39:33Speaker 03

  That's what you're talking about. No, it's that thing where they go like, I've been doing this bit about, they talk about Hollywood pedophilia, like it's not everywhere. Like the Catholic Church has to be on the fucking Mount Rushmore of that shit.

• 39:44Bill Maher?

  Of course.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  And then Hollywood pedophilia exposed. And it's just like, did you watch The Catch a Predator? That was never in Hollywood. Plenty of people coming up that driveway.

• 39:53Bill Maher?

  Yeah, no one's denying that. No one ever.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  All right, well, the nepo baby, your dad has a construction company, you take it over. Does somebody call him a nepo baby? No, it just becomes, you know, Sanford and Son.

• 40:04Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but it's a little more pronounced when it's in the arts because you have this.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  I hate that word.

• 40:11Bill Maher?

  Why?

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Pronounced.

• 40:13Bill Maher?

  Jesus Christ.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  Because that's like a PED, you know what it was? That was like a PED for your fucking point.

• 40:18Bill Maher?

  Your wife.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  It's a little more pronounced.

• 40:20Bill Maher?

  Your wife must be a saint because like, boy.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Because you're such a victim right now?

• 40:25Bill Maher?

  No, because you do like to like pick a fight about anything.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  You just said I was stupid.

• 40:31Bill Maher?

  Well, that's.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  He just came at me.

• 40:32Bill Maher?

  That's a completely different subject.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  You know, I just like arguing with you. I like, I like arguing with you.

• 40:38Bill Maher?

  I, you kidding? It's like, it's like sparring with Muhammad Ali.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  More, more, uh, who was the guy, who was the white guy back then?

• 40:48Bill Maher?

  Trevor Bobic?

• 40:48Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God.

• 40:51Bill Maher?

  Weppner?

• 40:52Speaker 03

  Before Tex Cobb, it was, um.

• 40:54Bill Maher?

  Weppner, who was the, the, the bayon bleeder?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  I'm gonna remember his name when I get out of here.

• 41:02Bill Maher?

  So, Bill, where are you playing if someone wanted to see you do stand up?

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Coming up, I am at, I'm in the Belko Theater, Denver, Colorado, on June 5th and 6th. The 8th, I'm at the Greek Theater in Berkeley, California with all your libtard friends.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  June 9th, I love how libtard doesn't even make, it doesn't even make sense. It's like, moron came up with that. I hate bad, like, come up with something better than that. June 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, I'm at the San Jose Civic Center in San Jose. And then at the end of the month, at the Moore Theater in Seattle, four nights, and I'm gonna be taping my next special.

• 41:40Bill Maher?

  Four nights?

• 41:42Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 41:44Bill Maher?

  How many nights in a row can you do without being too tired to go on?

• 41:50Bill Maher?

  Can you do like every night in a row?

• 41:51Speaker 03

  It's more like I miss my kids after a while.

• 41:54Bill Maher?

  But you don't mind doing the show every night, in a row?

• 41:57Speaker 03

  No. I mean, two shows at my age, I get, I can get a little like...

• 42:01Bill Maher?

  You do two shows in one night?

• 42:03Speaker 03

  No, I don't. I try not to.

• 42:04Bill Maher?

  That's crazy. I agree.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  I try, that's a young man's game.

• 42:07Bill Maher?

  It is.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  I did enough of those. And these, these kids like coming up, I imagine those gigs still exist. Remember the Tuesday through Sunday, two Friday, three Saturday?

• 42:18Bill Maher?

  I certainly lived it.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And you were just, you were in Portland, Oregon, and you were in Seattle, and you were in, you were just there. You were just fucking there, and it was like, it just, and the hardest show of the week is, is the second show Saturday. Knowing, knowing you still have one more to go.

• 42:37Bill Maher?

  I did three shows sometimes.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying, three shows Saturday.

• 42:40Bill Maher?

  Oh, I mean...

• 42:41Speaker 03

  But the middle show, the first show, you just have no hope, because you got three. And the last one's the last one, so that's cool. The second one, knowing you gotta do your bullshit act again.

• 42:51Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  Going, oh, my god. And the third show, you know they're not throwing anybody out, because no one's really showing up, so they, they gotta sell their booze, so... You had to basically throw a knife at the comic, and they'd be, hey, hey, settle down. Settle down.

• 43:04Bill Maher?

  I mean...

• 43:06Speaker 03

  But that's how, that's how you get good, though. And that's how you, you, I always hated to like, and then once you got through the Saturday, that was like, okay, I'm done. And then you had to sit around the whole fucking day to do one more fucking gig on Sunday.

• 43:19Bill Maher?

  I don't know if that made me better, honestly, that kind of bullshit, but.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Made you tough, right?

• 43:25Bill Maher?

  It made me tough, that's right. It actually didn't make the act better. I remember doing those nights, even with two shows, but especially with three, where you were just petrified, I was, that I would forget where I was. Every comic knows this nightmare, and say the same joke, because you thought you hadn't said it yet, but you said it in the first show. So now you've said the same joke in the second show, and the audience looks at you like, oh, wow, what?

• 43:51Speaker 03

  I would just always ask them, going, have I told this one yet? I've done three shows, I don't even know where I am right now. And I would just say that, and then they would laugh. And then, then even if I did repeat a joke, they thought it was funny, that, because they, they think you're just up there and you got the whole thing together. It's just like, no, this is just like when you're at work and you don't know what's going on, and you're just kind of faking it, like, that's, that's what I'm doing right now. So I think that's another thing that, like, you know, that's actually, in a weird way, it's a way to bond with the crowd, like, all right, this guy's fucking up at work right now, I can relate to this.

• 44:23Bill Maher?

  Wow. I must say, I've never explored that avenue of dealing with it. But I don't, having done two shows.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  But isn't like page one, I always thought page one in comedy, when you learn that it's addressing.

• 44:37Bill Maher?

  I mean, I remember it happening once. I remember where I was, it was so traumatic. It was Sacramento, it was December, it was 1983.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Sacramento, when nobody knows who you are, that's a tough time to do stand-up.

• 44:51Bill Maher?

  Rough. And said the same joke, and I just, I don't remember any of the sympathy from the audience that you describe. I guess when you're a star and you do it.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  Nobody, you own up to it. No, I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about when, when, when nobody knew who I was.

• 45:04Bill Maher?

  There's like this dead silence where there was laughter at your other jokes. So you're just like, oh my God, it's, it's like when you stick a pin in your leg and it's numb there.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  No, but if you just said like, I already told that joke, didn't I? Then they would have laughed, you're like, oh my God, I'm a fucking idiot, it's my third show, and it would have been fine.

• 45:22Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but I was young and, I don't know. I just think it's, it's gauche. But, yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  You go again, with the big words. What does gauche mean? I, I've heard the word.

• 45:35Bill Maher?

  It means great in French.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Gaucho doesn't.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  Menoufit.

• 45:45Bill Maher?

  Do you remember when you were on Real?

• 45:46Speaker 03

  Say, menoufit, monsieur, that's, that's, that's great.

• 45:49Bill Maher?

  You're in the highlight reel.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Super.

• 45:52Bill Maher?

  You're in the highlight reel because you're on the panel on Real. We're in the guest chair on Real Time, but with the panel. And you say, um, I don't know what I'm doing on this show. I feel like I didn't study for the test.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Oh, God, yeah. I still don't know why you booked me on that show.

• 46:10Bill Maher?

  Because you were in the celebrity spot and because you're a very bright guy. You, you play this character of the blue collar, regular guy. But you're obviously very, very smart.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  In a bar?

• 46:22Bill Maher?

  It's a, in a, no.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  You know what's really smart?

• 46:26Bill Maher?

  No.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  Do you know what's really smart? The people they write books about, those are really smart people.

• 46:31Bill Maher?

  Well, that's definitely on a level above us, yes.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying.

• 46:34Bill Maher?

  I'm just comparing me to like your friends who you think are so funny. No, I'm kidding. You just want to defend these friends so bad. Where are they now? What are the, describe the friends to me. What do they do? Andy and, and Bill Bob, what do they do? Where are they?

• 46:52Speaker 03

  What do you mean, what do they do?

• 46:52Bill Maher?

  Where are they now?

• 46:53Speaker 03

  They have, they have regular jobs.

• 46:56Bill Maher?

  Right, like?

• 46:58Speaker 03

  I'm not going to get into their fucking lives. But they, everything that you would look down your fucking nose.

• 47:03Bill Maher?

  Do your kids play together still?

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:06Bill Maher?

  Your kids play with their kids? That must be a satisfying feeling.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  Well, I think you said, do my kids play with the, like, together?

• 47:14Bill Maher?

  With their kids?

• 47:15Speaker 03

  With their, well, they, they live back east. And I also started late, so their kids are grown up.

• 47:19Bill Maher?

  Oh, well, that would be, that would be inappropriate.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, that would be inappropriate, yeah. So they, they just tell me like it's the greatest thing and just, you know, enjoy every second of it because it's going to fly by or whatever. And I let go a lot of that, that whole fucking enjoy every second of it. It's like, the reason why you feel, I think, when you get older as a parent, that you didn't enjoy it enough is because of the responsibility to make a functioning, empathetic human being. So you can't fucking enjoy it because you're waiting for whatever other shoe is going to drop and, you know.

• 47:52Bill Maher?

  You still have that attitude?

• 47:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I'd be honest with you. I don't, I don't listen to any parent that comes at me with some negative shit. I just go like, well, you obviously fucked the job up. You know, and then also there's like this thing that parents have that once they have kids, they become these all-knowing beings because, and they know more than you because their kids are older. And it's like, that doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any fucking sense. There's, like, I remember when, when I thought for a minute, I was playing drums. I was like, well, maybe this is what I'm gonna do. Because I didn't want to have a real job. So I was playing drums, but every time I'd go to the music store, I would see some like eight-year-old kid go in there and he just had it. And he was already expressing himself, or she was, on the drums. And I just remembered like, you know,

• 48:37Speaker 03

  I don't know what the fuck my point is at this, just, but I, I couldn't go up to that kid and be like, well, I've been paying longer than you, and let me tell you something. I, I was like, no, you're better at this shit. You're already better at this shit than I am. So parenting, it could be like that. I could be better than you. So maybe what you're telling me is like, like, how do I know you don't suck at this fucking job?

• 48:59Bill Maher?

  But that had it. You have to be born with it. Because show business is so competitive. That unless you have a great amount of the innate ability, if you're, whether you're a comic, or a drummer, or whatever it is, even then, you may not be, get to the top or close to the top. Because there are people who will have a lot of innate ability, but then their fucking demons fuck them up.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, self-sabotage. They're not good at the business.

• 49:30Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  Not good at the business. Because I, what I-

• 49:33Speaker 04

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• 51:02Speaker 03

  What I experienced, the hardest thing I experienced when I was coming up was watching people that were good at the business and I wasn't, and watching them pass me, whatever that even means. But when you're young, you think this person is passing me.

• 51:18Bill Maher?

  Totally.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  They were on Comedy Central, I haven't gone on Comedy Central. I must be doing something wrong.

• 51:23Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  And, you know, I gotta do, what are they doing? Oh, they have a fucking website, I gotta get a website.

• 51:28Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  And like, people think that shit. Like, I remember when Dane did all of that shit on fucking, on, uh, was it MySpace back then? All of these comics were like, "I'm gonna get on MySpace, and then I'm gonna sell tickets like that." And they did, it's like, that worked for him.

• 51:43Bill Maher?

  You're right.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  You know? So it's just like, you, you, kinda after a while, once you reach a level of maturity, you're like, "Fuck this, I'm doing what I'm doing. And wherever this takes me, this takes me, and I have to be okay with that." Because there's some people out there that are just like, you know, like, if you're in a band, you're never, if you're in a band, that's like a band, right? And you're really writing what you wanna write, you're never gonna sell more records than a fucking pop star, whatever, downloads, whatever it is. And you have to be all right with that. You have to be all right with that there's gonna be these pop stars coming through that are just gonna, and they have, and they have that megawatt... Like electrifying thing and all the girls love him and everything. That was not me. That was not that guy.

• 52:26Bill Maher?

  That's not comedy. That's music.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  No, that happens in comedy. There's

• 52:29Bill Maher?

  Rarely. Eddie Murphy, Russell Brand.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Dane had it. Matt Rife has it. Those guys, they have that in factory where it's like, this is a good conversation if my cigar goes out, buddy.

• 52:45Bill Maher?

  Think of how many comics that is over 40 years. You know, it's not, it's not a common thing.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's like a special thing. Joe Coy. I, I, I worked with that guy one time, man. That fucking guy. The level of talent that guy has to sing and do all of this stuff for the end. I was looking at this guy going, this guy is literally a pop star. Doing standup comedy. The women were going fucking crazy. I can make like people in the crowd laugh, but there's like a different thing with a guy like that where they are like enamored. Like, oh my god, like

• 53:16Bill Maher?

  I didn't know that about.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's like a Beatlemania type of thing. You know, you something from your generation.

• 53:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah, the Beatles. I remember

• 53:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like the four tops.

• 53:27Bill Maher?

  Right. I remember being backstage at the Sullivan Show when they went on.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  You went to Chase.

• 53:31Bill Maher?

  I had some good advice for them that night. Guys, sing the hits. People don't want to hear the B-sides and the moody stuff. Sing the hits and they changed their set list that night.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  What is so amazing about them is they should have been over in two summers because they were essentially a boy band. And they

• 53:48Bill Maher?

  The most ridiculous thing you've said tonight.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  She loves you. Yeah, yeah.

• 53:52Bill Maher?

  Was one of their first songs. They made a few records after that. You've got to be kidding, Bill.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  I'm talking about going from that to the White Album. The fact that they made that trajectory, that they had all of this management that were probably wanting them. Like, remember that guy saying the twist and the next summer he was like, twist again? I mean, it was over. Like, you know that they wanted to be, next summer saying, she loves you. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were just, it was, let's ride this thing to the ground. And they were like, fuck that. We're going to keep developing as musicians and we're going to start our own label. They did a lot of shit.

• 54:27Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  I'm on the same page with you. I know young people shit on you. You're Zeppelin. I know that happens a lot.

• 54:34Bill Maher?

  No, I

• 54:34Speaker 03

  That's invoked for young kids to say, the Beatles stink.

• 54:37Bill Maher?

  I can always talk Beatles and, um, yes, they always, one reason they are prima interna parries among rock gods is that they

• 54:50Speaker 03

  I've never heard all of those words. Was that three words? Was that two words?

• 54:54Bill Maher?

  That's Latin for first among equals.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Don't you say that for your parties when you're wearing your smoking jacket? I'll tell you that Bill Maher is really smart. He is really well read. He just said prima paravartis.

• 55:09Bill Maher?

  Prima interparis.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Interparis.

• 55:12Bill Maher?

  You know what? I'm not the bad guy because I know more. Okay, can we just get that?

• 55:16Speaker 03

  That's right. Don't make me, don't make me, exactly.

• 55:18Bill Maher?

  I'm not the bad guy because I know things. I apologize.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  You should say, "I'm sorry, I'm not stupid, Bill." That's what you should have said.

• 55:28Bill Maher?

  You're right.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  That's what you should have said.

• 55:31Bill Maher?

  And that's why you sell stadiums.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 55:33Bill Maher?

  Because you, you, you, you could, you could fucking, you got it right on the head. Okay. But the Beatles are first among equals, okay, because they always stayed ahead of the audience. Albert Goldman, in his brilliant book, I thought, made the point that 1966, it's only two years after Beatlemania, the first song on Revolver is "Taxman." He said, "What could be less interesting to a teenager than taxes?" So...

• 56:06Speaker 03

  But it's also relatable.

• 56:08Bill Maher?

  Not to a teenager. They don't care about taxes.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  I did.

• 56:13Bill Maher?

  As a teenager?

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, as a teenager. Because I fucking, I, there was a, there was like a fucking glass ceiling on the amount of money I could take home. Like, I couldn't, like, I was working full fucking time in this warehouse. I could not make 300 bucks in a week. I just couldn't. Every, and I, with the overtime, I would get it and they would just punch me back down to 240, 235. And I remember one year, like a fucking idiot, I didn't get any taxes taken out of my check. And then, and I was drinking the whole fucking way, and then it came and I owed thousands and thousands of dollars. So that was one of the dumbest things I did as a kid.

• 56:48Bill Maher?

  When I was 17.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  When I was 17.

• 56:52Bill Maher?

  It was a very good year. No, I was the delivery boy for the only industry in town, the liquor and drugstore. I would do both. And I would.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  That's a great job.

• 57:04Bill Maher?

  I thought it was so cool.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know what I like? Cause you didn't have to be at work. You grew in that time when you were in the, in your car.

• 57:10Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  It's the greatest.

• 57:11Bill Maher?

  And I was delivering drugs and liquor.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Fantastic.

• 57:14Bill Maher?

  Wet my appetite for my future.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  Right. Um, I remember I had a gig, I had a gig one, one summer washing windows and houses. Outside how, you know, those fucking, I remember those stupid, uh, storm windows that they have back east. Like your fingers, by the end of the day, you had to switch fingers from just opening. And they had, for some fucking reason, everybody had a screen and they had like three of these fucking solid ones and they wanted you to wash all of them. And my favorite part of that job was in between when we were driving. My buddy had this fucking sick ass, he had this, uh, F-150.

• 57:47Bill Maher?

  I bet he was funny about it.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Oh, he was fucking hilarious. He was fucking hilarious. Oh my god.

• 57:54Bill Maher?

  About the drug? Even?

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Like, dude, listen, I get it. You're not a knock around guy. You fucking, you looked up Latin words and you didn't fucking hang out with the fellas. And they used to hang you by your underwear at the locker. So now, none of them are funny. Cause this is your one thing. But I'm funny. They could never be as funny as me. Like, there's so much shit about you that's funny that you're not even trying to be funny. Your whole fucking outfit is hilarious.

• 58:19Bill Maher?

  My outfit?

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:20Bill Maher?

  Shirt and pants is an outfit?

• 58:21Speaker 03

  You're dressed like that, you're gonna sing that fu- what is that song? Uh, splish splash, I was taking a bath with your stupid little slippers that you're wearing.

• 58:29Bill Maher?

  Slippers? These are like boots. These are, these are almost beetle.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Oh fuck, you're an outlaw.

• 58:34Bill Maher?

  These are almost beetle boots.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  Chelsea boots. I know that cause my wife's into fashion.

• 58:39Bill Maher?

  Cause they were the greatest.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  What were?

• 58:41Bill Maher?

  Beetle boots.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Those were badass.

• 58:43Bill Maher?

  Well, that's what it was. It was like the half boot. That's what they sang. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:50Bill Maher?

  So what are your?

• 58:51Speaker 03

  You know what I like about their music and when you, is, is it's like two and a half minute song and what they could say about a relationship that's still relatable. Like I used to listen, when I really started going into their, their back catalog, right? Not back catalog, they're, they're, they're later in their, their career. Rubber Soul and all of that shit. Revolver.

• 59:07Bill Maher?

  It was not later, that was mid.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Alright, relax, you fucking historian. Go ahead, throw another Latin word at me. Anyway, uh, I would, I, I started like listening to the lyrics and I would, and I would be like, I literally just went through that with, with whoever I was dating.

• 59:22Bill Maher?

  Which song are we referring to?

• 59:23Speaker 03

  I don't fucking have it memorized.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  I'm looking through you.

• 59:28Bill Maher?

  Well, that's called I'm looking through.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  And that fucking song is like about the end of a relationship. And you experiencing that as a young person. You don't look different, but things have changed. Like the love died. It's fucking over and now you have to learn how to break up with somebody.

• 59:44Bill Maher?

  Can I, um, share something about the Beatles with you without you making fun of me? Maybe you'll find it.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  Bill, that's why I'm here.

• 59:51Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 59:53Bill Maher?

  So.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  To listen to you share your ideas about track three.

• 59:56Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I know. I just, even when I ask, it gets shot down. Okay, but I'm gonna do it anyway. That's from their mid-period. That's 1965, Rubber Soul.

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  You were what, 28?

• 1:00:09Bill Maher?

  That was like the first album. First. That was the first album.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  You bought your first Beatle boots?

• 1:00:16Bill Maher?

  I was nine. First album after Beatlemania. So it's great and, um,

• 1:00:25Bill Maher?

  that period.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Do you ever think that you're older than the hula hoop?

• 1:00:27Bill Maher?

  That period, I remember the hula hoop, that's true.

• 1:00:33Bill Maher?

  And that period, he was, Paul McCartney was with, uh, his girlfriend was Jane Asher. And he lived in her parents' apartment in the garret for like three years in the middle of London. I'm not making this up.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  What's the garret?

• 1:00:52Bill Maher?

  The garret is like an attic. Like, you know, the top of the apartment.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  We're in California, you can just say attic.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  And then after that, did they move, did they move to the garage? And have put some basil on their fry up?

• 1:01:08Bill Maher?

  Knowing things and words asshole.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  That's an asshole thing to do. To use the English word for fucking attic in California.

• 1:01:19Bill Maher?

  Okay, but.

• 1:01:19Speaker 03

  I'm about, I'm like, I'm one more reference away from taking this mic off and just walking out.

• 1:01:27Bill Maher?

  Um.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  I wanna make a list of all the things I didn't know and I'm just gonna fucking say them all to my wife tonight. She'll be like, who the fuck did you have? Are you on mushrooms? What are you talking?

• 1:01:37Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  The Garrett.

• 1:01:39Bill Maher?

  We, we have to do it. Garrett. G A R R O T T.

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  Brad Garrett. I got it.

• 1:01:45Bill Maher?

  Like Garrett. Yes, with an O.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  So when he goes over there, they think his name's Brad Attic?

• 1:01:52Bill Maher?

  No. So anyway, Paul McCartney, he was with this, she was the-

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Oh, Bill Bullock's.

• 1:01:56Bill Maher?

  He, and, and, um, a number of the songs in that period like that one are really about her. And some of them are quite wistful, you know? I think that the beginning is, I've just seen a face, uh, but it gets to, uh-

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  Put more heart into it.

• 1:02:14Bill Maher?

  Gets to some, uh, um, like, you, you could just tell that it was a relationship that was like, I mean, he was, it was the middle of, you know, he's a Beatle in London.

• 1:02:28Bill Maher?

  I don't know how, but he liked, you know, he was a guy who needed a family. He liked having a family. So he lived with the girlfriend's family in the fucking attic.

• 1:02:39Bill Maher?

  It's a, it's-

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  He's a relationship guy.

• 1:02:41Bill Maher?

  He's a relationship guy, yes. Uh, but-

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  A hundred percent.

• 1:02:44Bill Maher?

  I know, I'm not mocking it, I'm just-

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  I wasn't saying you were. Getting really defensive.

• 1:02:50Bill Maher?

  No, I'm just, it's back to my point. People are different. So different about that.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Yes, and that's why I, I have no problem with how you live your life. You are a happy guy.

• 1:03:02Bill Maher?

  I am a happy guy and you're a happy guy.

• 1:03:04Speaker 03

  I am.

• 1:03:05Bill Maher?

  See, that's the thing. We found what makes us happy.

• 1:03:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then you get into your ego and what it, not saying you, you, uh, uh, not metaphorically, hypothetically, generally, whatever the fuck you said.

• 1:03:18Bill Maher?

  Put it in-

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  Garrettly.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  Is you start thinking like, oh, this is the way you're happy is, is what made me happy. You know, so you have to do it the way that I'm fucking doing that, then, you know, that's like, I don't. Right? I can do whatever the fuck I want. Can I?

• 1:03:38Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  Did I lose you in that somehow?

• 1:03:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah, because I feel like now you're reading my lines. That's my line. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  Well, when you're a joke thief, eventually you run into the comic you took it from.

• 1:03:51Bill Maher?

  Well, you are not a joke thief.

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  Uh, no.

• 1:03:54Bill Maher?

  I mean, I don't know if when you came up, being of such a different generation.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Oh, it's totally different.

• 1:03:59Bill Maher?

  It was the same way. But when I came up as a comic, I mean, it was like the cardinal sin.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  Oh, it's, it's still the cardinal sin.

• 1:04:07Bill Maher?

  It is, okay.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  It's still the cardinal sin.

• 1:04:09Bill Maher?

  I would think it would have to be. Because that's all we, that's all we have.

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  In, in, in.

• 1:04:13Bill Maher?

  Is our own.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Bill Maher?

  Take on shit.

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  Right, and, and in, uh, in Boston, before cellphone cameras and all of that stuff, if you took somebody's joke, that person came in and fucking punched you out.

• 1:04:25Bill Maher?

  There's a famous story about Tim Thomerson, who I never worked with. He was even older than me, if that's imaginable.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  It's incredible. So he, was he World War II?

• 1:04:38Bill Maher?

  Yes, they used to call him the major. Um, no, this is like late seventies when, when, when.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  He did, he did, uh, he did Omaha Beach the day after, uh, D-Day.

• 1:04:51Bill Maher?

  He worked with Frank Capra, yes.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  It was a rough, it was a rough crowd.

• 1:04:54Bill Maher?

  He worked with Frank Capra and.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  I know who he is, he's fucking amazing, I'm joking. Yes. Tim Thomerson, he's one of the legends down at, uh, Comedy Store.

• 1:05:03Bill Maher?

  The story was that when Robin Williams, rest his soul, and great guy, but he might have had a tendency, once in a while, because he was on Mork and Mindy, to hear something at the Comedy Store, and perhaps it involuntarily got into the back of his head, and then it would appear on Mork and Mindy. And the story was that Tim Thomerson just walked into the Comedy Store one night and punched him in the face.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, that's, if you do shit like, I mean, and who said he was wrong?

• 1:05:35Bill Maher?

  I'm just saying.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that's how, that's how that shit was handled, it was, it was like hockey, it was settled on the ice.

• 1:05:42Bill Maher?

  Yeah. But Boston comics just seem more truculent and pugilistic than most to me.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  I knew what that meant, I would agree or disagree with it.

• 1:05:57Bill Maher?

  I normally would not have used those words.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  Did you ever play next comedy stop? I bet you had some rough sets in that one.

• 1:06:03Bill Maher?

  I'd had a rough night in Boston once where I was the headliner.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  I could see you not having a good time in Boston. I could see them going.

• 1:06:12Bill Maher?

  That was a long time ago.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  You have, this is a hacky reference, but you totally have the energy of you forgot to give out the homework assignment, Mrs. So and so.

• 1:06:22Bill Maher?

  Boston, you may have heard is a college town. There's quite a few intellectuals there. The audience that's very sophisticated, they like my show. Okay, we all have our niche.

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  Oh God, you're so fucking highbrow.

• 1:06:34Bill Maher?

  Well, it's true.

• 1:06:35Speaker 03

  Does your shit jokes float above ours?

• 1:06:37Bill Maher?

  A little bit.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  Why? Cause you say setment tank or something? Something, something about shit?

• 1:06:43Bill Maher?

  Wait, what was I just gonna tell you? God damn it.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  Nothing interesting.

• 1:06:47Bill Maher?

  No, it was. What were we talking about?

• 1:06:50Speaker 03

  I'm fucking with you. No, we were talking about going to Boston.

• 1:06:54Bill Maher?

  Boston. Thank you, yes. I love Boston, it loves me. That's been go- I did a special.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  You just went Regis on me. Boston.

• 1:07:01Bill Maher?

  In 2007, um, I have a love affair with the Boston audience. We are like this, because they're just very smart. What can I tell you? And I know you hate to hear that, but.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  No, it just sounds like you, it sounds like you have a gig coming up in Boston and the tickets are a little slow.

• 1:07:17Bill Maher?

  No, they're never slow in Boston. Never slow in Boston, but um.

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  Do you perform in Cambridge?

• 1:07:24Bill Maher?

  Cambridge.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  That's where Harvard is. For a guy like you.

• 1:07:28Bill Maher?

  I know that.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  That's gotta be the Taj Mahal. I love that that bugs you.

• 1:07:31Bill Maher?

  I hate Harvard. Are you kidding? Have you heard what's going on on college campuses these days?

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  I don't watch the news.

• 1:07:37Bill Maher?

  You don't realize that college campuses erupted with the kids demonstrating for Hamas? They are in with the terrorists?

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  They were for the Palestinians.

• 1:07:48Bill Maher?

  Well, it's sort of the same cause.

• 1:07:53Bill Maher?

  Why, are you?

• 1:07:55Speaker 03

  Um, I'm on the side of the kids.

• 1:07:57Bill Maher?

  Yeah, that's easy to say. You know, no one wants to see kids dead. Uh, this is a war.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  That was very brave of you to say this.

• 1:08:04Bill Maher?

  This is a, this is a war. No, I'm the one who is actually brave on this.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  Oh, pat yourself on the back.

• 1:08:09Bill Maher?

  It's easy to say, um, for the kids. Who's not for the kids?

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  Well, I don't.

• 1:08:13Bill Maher?

  It comes down to real hard-nosed decisions, like a country.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  Stop talking like you're a general.

• 1:08:18Bill Maher?

  A country got attacked. Israel got attacked.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  I'm not saying that they didn't have a right to go back. I'm just sitting there going like, how do I look at?

• 1:08:24Bill Maher?

  Well, the only country in the world that they get attacked and then as soon as they counter-attack, it's like, well, we gotta stop this shit now. Don't attack them is a very simple solution to all this problem in the Middle East. Stop attacking Israel.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  Hey, you just solved it.

• 1:08:38Bill Maher?

  Stop attacking Israel. I did. I actually did.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  There you go. That's fantastic.

• 1:08:41Bill Maher?

  Anyway.

• 1:08:41Speaker 03

  All right.

• 1:08:41Bill Maher?

  We don't need to get onto that.

• 1:08:43Speaker 03

  Let's, let's go to Russia and the Ukraine. How do you solve that one, Bill?

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  Let me hear your hard-nosed decision about that. Well, let me ask you a question. How, how is war still legal? With all this shit that's been canceled.

• 1:08:55Bill Maher?

  Legal.

• 1:08:55Speaker 03

  Why is that still fucking legal?

• 1:08:57Bill Maher?

  Would you like a real answer to that? Because to, for something to be illegal, you have to have the capacity to enforce it. And you can't enforce against war or else you have to go to war with the country that's going to war. And we don't want to go to war with Russia over Ukraine. What would be the sense of making it illegal? Oh, that's really gonna stop Putin? No, to stop people from going to war, you have to also put boots.

• 1:09:22Speaker 03

  You can't sit down and talk it out? Do a, why can't Putin do a podcast with the head guy? Like, you just solved the Middle East on a podcast. Why can't they solve what they're doing on a podcast?

• 1:09:32Bill Maher?

  See, this is why this is not your thing.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  Make, make some hard-nosed.

• 1:09:36Bill Maher?

  This is my.

• 1:09:36Speaker 03

  It's not your thing. It's what you.

• 1:09:38Bill Maher?

  That is my thing.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  It isn't your thing. It isn't. You're like that guy that has a fantasy football team and thinks he's a fucking GM.

• 1:09:44Bill Maher?

  No. No.

• 1:09:46Speaker 03

  That's exactly what it is. Like, why am I fucking listening to you like, like you've done something?

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  What have you done in Washington? Nothing.

• 1:09:54Bill Maher?

  No, I would never go to Washington.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  It's beneath you.

• 1:09:57Bill Maher?

  It, uh, no, it would, uh, look.

• 1:10:00Speaker 03

  You would be the coolest fucking guy in Washington. You showed up with those boots and no tie. They'd be like, oh, my God.

• 1:10:06Bill Maher?

  It'd be so easy to be.

• 1:10:07Speaker 03

  Did Kevin Bacon just come back to that Footloose town?

• 1:10:09Bill Maher?

  Kevin Bacon?

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  You could teach him how to dance, Bill.

• 1:10:15Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I, I absolutely could.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  You fucking get off your little private jet. I have a TV show.

• 1:10:23Bill Maher?

  Oh, and you go, and you travel Southwest? Is that right, Bill?

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  I love Southwest.

• 1:10:27Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 1:10:28Speaker 03

  I love the order.

• 1:10:29Bill Maher?

  Is that how you travel?

• 1:10:30Speaker 03

  I love Southwest.

• 1:10:31Bill Maher?

  Do you travel commercial?

• 1:10:32Speaker 03

  Most of the time, yeah.

• 1:10:33Bill Maher?

  You do?

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:34Bill Maher?

  Commercial?

• 1:10:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:36Bill Maher?

  Interesting.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  Bigger plane, better pilots. You don't get knocked around as much. You're riding a fucking Cadillac. The only thing that sucks about commercial is boarding. That's it. Once you're there and you got your fucking shit up there, you're flying first class, which all first class is, if you've never flown it, is they treat you like a human being. Supposed to be animals in the back. They just throw you back there. That was my whole career. Working my way up to being treated like, remember the DC-9? When you'd sit there and your window didn't open because there was an engine there? You don't remember that?

• 1:11:08Bill Maher?

  I, I can't.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  How about, how about that last row in the DC-9? The window doesn't open. There's an engine right there. And then right across from you is the bathroom. And you gotta listen to another human being take, take a fucking shit behind one of those things Starlets used to get undressed behind.

• 1:11:24Bill Maher?

  I'm still stuck on you defending.

• 1:11:26Speaker 03

  Stuck on you?

• 1:11:28Bill Maher?

  Still stuck on you defending commercial flights as better. Now, you can make the case that it's wrong to fly private. I, I get that. But I've never heard anyone make the case that it's actually better to be on Delta. That's kind of kooky. No?

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  No, I hate Delta.

• 1:11:49Speaker 03

  Delta's the fucking worst.

• 1:11:50Bill Maher?

  I bet you fly private more than you're letting on.

• 1:11:53Speaker 03

  Listen, I, I, listen, if, if I have to go somewhere and I don't have enough time to get there.

• 1:11:58Bill Maher?

  Oh, suddenly we've got an exception.

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  No, I said mainly I fly commercial.

• 1:12:05Bill Maher?

  Well, you're an idiot. You shouldn't. You know what, it's.

• 1:12:09Speaker 03

  What was this, if I don't agree with you, I'm an idiot.

• 1:12:13Bill Maher?

  You're right. I apologize.

• 1:12:16Speaker 03

  Fucking John Varvatos shirts. You're not young.

• 1:12:20Speaker 03

  Put on a sweater for fuck's sakes.

• 1:12:22Bill Maher?

  Put on a sweater, why? I have to be.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  At your age.

• 1:12:27Bill Maher?

  That's the secret in life. Avoid that.

• 1:12:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:12:32Bill Maher?

  Don't you think?

• 1:12:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:12:34Bill Maher?

  No?

• 1:12:35Speaker 03

  Well, hey, I'm an idiot, right? No, I think the number one thing is to be your age. Like all these fucking people, like they, they go do a college gig at my age, gonna be 56 next month. Be 56.

• 1:12:48Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:48Speaker 03

  And come at them as a 56 year old and you can give them advice on all this shit that you did and just say, hey, this worked for me. And you, you can just have a great time with them. You can have a fucking great time. What fucks you up is if you're looking at what they're wearing and you know, you, you fucking come up with your little, your little outfit.

• 1:13:05Bill Maher?

  I, I don't know why that, this, this simple shirt and pair of plain jeans.

• 1:13:13Speaker 03

  There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you're wearing. That's why it's so much fun. To just make fun of it. It's a little bit of a fucking pirate shirt. You got a lot of extra material in the, you know, that's what it is. It's this.

• 1:13:27Bill Maher?

  Why?

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  The, first of all, you should have buttoned that if you actually were the gentleman you're trying to be.

• 1:13:31Bill Maher?

  Button this? Oh, you're right. But.

• 1:13:33Speaker 03

  You had a woman in your life, she wouldn't let you go on camera like that.

• 1:13:36Bill Maher?

  It's almost like a, we're giving you like an advanced comedy test. Like, can you make fun of this?

• 1:13:42Speaker 03

  Let's not get crazy like you're a fashion thing.

• 1:13:45Bill Maher?

  Kind of bland, you know?

• 1:13:47Speaker 03

  Like your opinions. Yeah, exactly.

• 1:13:49Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  And then when, and then when I fucking, you know, go against it. And I go, ooh, a big word, another big G word. Look at you. You memorizing that part of the fucking dictionary? I don't have kids. I got all day long. Fucking read the dictionary and use my fucking three dollar words. With a guy who unloads trucks.

• 1:14:07Bill Maher?

  Oh. Why do I think there's gonna-

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  Why don't we do a, we gotta do a buddy movie. This is like, perfect. This is Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon.

• 1:14:15Bill Maher?

  I'm certainly not gonna do a movie, but there is something about-

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  You seem like an actor.

• 1:14:20Bill Maher?

  There is, there is something very like, very minable about this vein of comedy, of the single guy, the married guy, the, you know, pompous professor guy-

• 1:14:34Speaker 03

  No, no, but I also-

• 1:14:34Bill Maher?

  And the blue collar guy. I mean, it does kinda write it-

• 1:14:37Speaker 03

  I mean, that was Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad is one of the great dark comedies of all time, where you had this super smart teacher, and he had, like, his biggest fuck up as a student, and then they have to somehow work. It was The Odd Couple.

• 1:14:50Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  Fantastic.

• 1:14:51Bill Maher?

  I never watched that show, and I know everybody loves it. I'm gonna watch it now, 'cause that is interesting to me.

• 1:14:57Speaker 03

  I'll tell you what was the coolest thing about that show, is, you know, you know those, anytime you make a TV show or a movie, you always have these people that go, "Oh, that never would've happened like that." But that's, do everything that they did, right down to me laying, me and Lavelle Crawford laying on that pile of money, they figured out how much money Mr. White would have, in what denominations, and how high it would be, to shoot those people down. When we did the, we did this train robbery scene, I got to be on that. It was so fucking, robbing a train, it was amazing. And they, they would, whatever chemical they had in one of them, they used to make meth. So they were taking it out.

• 1:15:38Speaker 03

  My job was to stall the train. They take it out, and then replace it with water, and they had their teams figure out how long that would take. And they said, we literally had somebody that would be on the internet. "That wouldn't have happened like that." They said, "Actually, it would. The volume of water is this, the volume of that," and they would just shut them the fuck down, like a comedian, just chopping the head off of the fucking loudmouth asshole in the front row. They did that while making one of the great, greatest shows of all time.

• 1:16:06Bill Maher?

  That is satisfying.

• 1:16:07Speaker 03

  Oh, it, like, I already loved them, like, everybody liked the show. It was the most efficiently run, they just knew what they wanted to do. I did it, I did, one of the first times I did the gig there, we got through this scene so fast, they switched my flight from the next day southwest. They go, "We can get you right now, we can go get your bags at the thing," and they, I, I felt like fucking Elvis.

• 1:16:29Bill Maher?

  Do you have like a deal now for make more movies somewhere?

• 1:16:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:16:34Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  It doesn't exist anymore.

• 1:16:37Bill Maher?

  What?

• 1:16:37Speaker 03

  It doesn't exist.

• 1:16:38Bill Maher?

  No more three.

• 1:16:39Speaker 03

  They don't do those.

• 1:16:40Bill Maher?

  No more three picture deals?

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  They're getting away from first look deals. Like, I'm always late to the party. Like, when I started, stand up was right after the eighties. All the balloons were popped on the ground and everybody was getting their wages garnished.

• 1:16:52Bill Maher?

  Oh, yes, that, again, my generation ruined everything.

• 1:16:55Speaker 03

  I didn't say you ruined, I never said that.

• 1:16:56Bill Maher?

  No, but that eighties, that's when I was starting. I mean, that's when I was a young comic.

• 1:17:00Speaker 03

  All right, but I didn't say you ruined it.

• 1:17:02Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:17:03Speaker 03

  I'm just saying, no, but it got bloated. It was on every channel and then it went.

• 1:17:08Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:17:09Speaker 03

  So, I used to open for guys.

• 1:17:10Bill Maher?

  It got bloated, yes.

• 1:17:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I used to open for guys and they would try to discourage me. They would be like, "Oh, man, I didn't know why you even started. If I was your age, I would get the fuck out of this business." That's what they told me. And they would be like, "Wednesday night, look at this, there's nobody in here, you know, fucking three years ago, there'd be a line down the fucking block." And I didn't have any deflector shields, you know, so I would be listening, go, "Really? Oh, my God, should I quit?" But fortunately, I sucked at everything else in life, so I really didn't have any options.

• 1:17:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I didn't have a plan B either, really. I remember when I got out of college, I sent out, um, resumes to advertising agencies. I guess I thought I could get that as a day job, be an ad man, you know, write ad copy.

• 1:17:55Speaker 03

  I could see that.

• 1:17:56Bill Maher?

  I could see it too. I mean.

• 1:17:58Speaker 03

  You know.

• 1:17:59Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you know. It's not that different from stand up in a way. You're trying to be humorous and pithy and, okay.

• 1:18:07Speaker 03

  You'd probably talk down to a few clients, but you'd throw those, you'd throw those words in and they'd be like, "This guy's smart. This guy knows how to sell these widgets."

• 1:18:16Bill Maher?

  I'm telling you, when we both flame out and doing a morning talk show in Seattle, this kind of stuff is gonna be gold. It's Fartman and Asshole Jack.

• 1:18:29Speaker 03

  Oh, that was morning radio. Morning radio was always a real name and then, you know, Eddie and the Bulldog. It was always something like that. We got Wild Man Vermouth with fucking Jerry. It was always a regular name, then something crazy.

• 1:18:44Bill Maher?

  So there's no more three picture deals, no more like deals at streaming services?

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  I shouldn't say that.

• 1:18:49Bill Maher?

  Don't they need content?

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  For someone like me.

• 1:18:51Bill Maher?

  Really? But that, but old dads.

• 1:18:53Speaker 03

  When you're a bald ginger in Hollywood, it's basically.

• 1:18:56Bill Maher?

  But didn't old dads do very well?

• 1:18:58Speaker 03

  Yes, it did.

• 1:18:59Bill Maher?

  Then why?

• 1:18:59Speaker 03

  Crushed during the strike. It was, it was number, let me fucking, for everyone who worked on that movie, Bobby Cannavale and all of those amazing actors and everybody.

• 1:19:08Bill Maher?

  I like him.

• 1:19:09Speaker 03

  Patrick Don Vito, everybody helped me edit the thing, Ben Tischler, all of them. We were number one globally on Netflix two weekends in a row and it streamed like 50 million.

• 1:19:18Bill Maher?

  Because who around the world doesn't understand the concept of old dads? Certainly in Pakistan.

• 1:19:25Speaker 03

  Well, maybe we just made a good movie.

• 1:19:27Bill Maher?

  No, so, okay, so tell, riddle me this about the business.

• 1:19:31Speaker 03

  Was there a compliment, the thanks?

• 1:19:33Bill Maher?

  What?

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  There was no compliment in that.

• 1:19:37Bill Maher?

  Uh, actually, there was.

• 1:19:38Speaker 03

  Kind of shit on it, like you didn't think, you didn't think that it went fucking global.

• 1:19:42Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:19:42Speaker 03

  I didn't say in Pakistan they were watching, they might have. You don't think there's some old dads there?

• 1:19:47Bill Maher?

  No. What I said, it was.

• 1:19:49Speaker 03

  Well, that's right. You figured out the Middle East, I forgot.

• 1:19:52Bill Maher?

  No. I found a way to craftily get a very good compliment into you.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  Well, that's what it is.

• 1:19:58Bill Maher?

  Without making it look like one. Because I am the pompous professor, my friend.

• 1:20:04Speaker 03

  I like it.

• 1:20:05Bill Maher?

  I know you do. So, anyway, but riddle me this about the business, because I'm always reading, as we're always talking of people at dinner when we're in this town and we're all in the business, and we're talking about the changing and the streaming and everything. Why is it, if a movie does well like that, then there isn't at least a offer to do the next one?

• 1:20:26Speaker 03

  Because the people running it now, they, they're.

• 1:20:32Speaker 03

  They're kind of doing like what Germany did, where they tried to take over the whole world. And you can't do that because there's just so many, people don't want that. But there's always something in every business, like Amazon or fucking Walmart. They're always trying, you know, let's open up across from this mom and pop and put them out of business and we'll be the only show in town. Like, there's just always people doing that, so.

• 1:20:55Bill Maher?

  That to do with hiring a guy who just had a big hit movie to do another hit movie? If you want to take over the world.

• 1:21:03Speaker 03

  Streaming service has devalued art. Where back in the day, you used to pay 10 bucks to go see a movie. Now 20 bucks, you get all, you get all the movies. That's what I'm talking about. You ask me a question, I'm trying to fucking answer it.

• 1:21:14Bill Maher?

  We're talking about success. The movie had.

• 1:21:16Speaker 03

  Why don't you just tell me what it is, rather than ask me? We could save some time.

• 1:21:20Bill Maher?

  I'm asking because I don't understand. The movie had success. Doesn't matter if it was art or not.

• 1:21:26Speaker 03

  And I can tell you what happened to me. I fucking went back and I pitched another movie to two junior executives. And I waited six weeks to get an offer that it was just like it never happened. Still starting out like I, like that movie never happened. And that's kind of like, that's how the acting world, that's why I think being an actor is so much harder than being a fucking comedian. Because if I come through town, first time I headline your club, I draw okay, but you see I'm funny. We'll take another chance on this guy. I come back, even if the same 30 people show up, but you see I have a whole new act. They see it and you've proven you're funny. I don't have to re-prove that I'm funny.

• 1:22:06Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:22:07Speaker 03

  Again, where an actor, this fucking actor's with an Oscar. And this people going, yeah, I don't know, can they play that? It's like they won the highest fucking award. And I just, I have empathy for actors for the lack of control they have. First of all, you do the performance and if you're not in the edit, especially if it's a comedy.

• 1:22:24Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:22:24Speaker 03

  And you get the wrong guy editing it, they're gonna, they're gonna leave you hanging out to dry. Like, the actors really are like the quarterback of the team. Where it's like, if you win, you're fucking Joe Montana. If you lose, you're a bust. And it like a lot of times, and as you're making a movie, you have no idea how it's gonna come together.

• 1:22:46Bill Maher?

  No idea. I've been on enough movies to know it is just always a mystery. There's so many things that can go wrong.

• 1:22:52Speaker 03

  Are they gonna promote it? I mean, I, I, I did this, this, um. I did this, this really, really great movie, uh, uh, frontrunner. And it came out the same weekend as Aquaman. And it was just, I saw one of the stars promote it for like two days.

• 1:23:11Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I never heard of it.

• 1:23:12Speaker 03

  And then the next time I saw him, he was promoting his next project. And I said, oh my God, they're burying it. It's not gonna get, and it's just.

• 1:23:20Bill Maher?

  What was it on?

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  What was it? It was in the movie theaters.

• 1:23:23Bill Maher?

  It was in the theater?

• 1:23:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:26Bill Maher?

  I, I mean, most.

• 1:23:27Speaker 03

  It was, you would have liked the movie. It was about Gary Hart.

• 1:23:30Bill Maher?

  I would have watched it. Gary Hart.

• 1:23:32Speaker 03

  Gary Hart, and it was about the, the first politician.

• 1:23:34Bill Maher?

  Never heard of it.

• 1:23:35Speaker 03

  Where they went into his personal life. And there was this big debate.

• 1:23:39Bill Maher?

  And what did you play?

• 1:23:40Speaker 03

  I played one of the reporters for the Miami Herald. And the big thing was.

• 1:23:46Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:46Speaker 03

  They, there, there was like, um, a battle, um, at the paper. They had this great scene where it's like, we can't run this because we'll be like a tabloid. And then the big thing was Gary Hart said, hey, I'm an open book, you know, go ahead, look at everything.

• 1:24:01Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:24:02Speaker 03

  He said that.

• 1:24:03Bill Maher?

  He did.

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  And that, that was their wiggle room.

• 1:24:05Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:06Speaker 03

  To get in that. And then after that.

• 1:24:08Bill Maher?

  Nothing was the same.

• 1:24:09Speaker 03

  Nothing was the same. But, but I always wondered, what did Gary Hart think? Because he had to end his campaign, um, because of, uh, infidelities. And then like, within four years, Bill Clinton comes in and he's like the Teflon Don. None of it sticks to him. And he still ends up getting elected and does two terms. Like, he must have been thinking like, oh, I could have done that. I, I didn't know that.

• 1:24:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:40Speaker 03

  I could have just went like, you know, I did not have sexual relation. I love, I love the look of determinate. I did not. Like, I always wondered if he stood in the mirror and got that bottom lip.

• 1:24:54Bill Maher?

  He was something.

• 1:24:57Bill Maher?

  But I'm still so puzzled by this though that, I mean, just in their interest, you'd think it would be in their interest if you did something that was successful for them to want to, that's all, I mean, you could always count on that in show business. Art is just always, if you're lucky, it coincides with their business interest. But profit, success, people bought it, that's what they care about. That's what I don't understand about this. It's in their interest. So something is very fucked up in this, in this media age we live in, when success is not rewarded. And I've heard a lot of people

• 1:25:40Bill Maher?

  say that about streaming, that success is not rewarded like directly, like it was back in the day. You bought a record, that went to number one, you know, people actually went to the store and bought it. We knew which was most popular. Same thing with movies, the box office, like streaming.

• 1:25:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, now, now like streamers, they're holding all the cards. It's like Stripes. Remember Stripes, that great scene, John Candy, and he's looking, ah, yeah, man, you're lost again. He's looking at his cards and shit. Like, you know, they give you the numbers and it's just like, how do I know that's true? Like, you have, like, for the award season, they can go, this is a massive hit, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then when you come to be like, okay, it's a massive hit, can I have some, well, you know, the numbers weren't that good. The numbers are whatever they need them to be. It's become like that. So, I mean, so I just roll with it. I mean, if that's, that's, I don't think it's gonna stay like this. Like, and it's like.

• 1:26:37Bill Maher?

  But like, are you working on scripts though for ideas?

• 1:26:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're, we're, me and Ben Tushel, we're writing another one. We got another great idea. It's another thing. In the title, you know what it's, that's what I liked about Old Dads. You knew what it was.

• 1:26:48Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:26:48Speaker 03

  And then within that, you could touch on a lot of bigger topics with just regular people. Like, we were commenting on. You know, sort of like summing somebody up in one tweet.

• 1:27:03Bill Maher?

  And you like the process of like writing a movie with somebody?

• 1:27:06Speaker 03

  I love writing. I love writing dialogue. And one of my favorite things to do is every, like, I want every actor that shows up to be excited. Like, that we wrote him something that's gonna be fun to say, cause then they come to the set.

• 1:27:17Bill Maher?

  Of course. Well, that's how you get an actor to do it.

• 1:27:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then for the crew, all you do, once a week, you bring in a food truck. You know, and a coffee truck on another day. They're like, okay, this guy gives a fu- like, the bar is so low.

• 1:27:30Bill Maher?

  You only feed your crew once a week?

• 1:27:32Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. There's a regular, there's a regular thing. But once a week, if you spring for a food truck. Cause that's coming out of your pocket. That's not them. They're like, alright, this guy's a solid guy. So then if you have a long day, cause shit isn't working, which is gonna happen.

• 1:27:48Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:27:48Speaker 03

  They're not looking at you like, you know, how many times gonna eat this fucking lasagna? You know, lasagna is like the big, like, if you gotta cook for a hundred people.

• 1:27:57Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:27:57Speaker 03

  It's, they come out in those aluminum trays. If a truck comes up every once in a while, you, you gotta, you gotta give somebody a ray of light, you know, as, as they're doing it.

• 1:28:07Bill Maher?

  It's a great tip for the kids out there who are thinking about going into the business and treating crews, bad or good, uh, once a week.

• 1:28:15Speaker 03

  Can I tell you how low the bar is? How low the bar is?

• 1:28:18Bill Maher?

  Oh, you just did. A food truck once a week will do it.

• 1:28:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Speaker 03

  You know what? I tell you, just saying good morning to people. They're like, you're like one of the nicest guys I ever worked for. It's just like, what the fuck happened to you? Who doesn't say good morning? There's people that don't say good morning.

• 1:28:34Bill Maher?

  No, I mean, look. Uh, I, I would not, uh, have the, oh my god, to, to, to do a movie, first of all, you gotta get up at like the crack of dawn. I mean, and it's, and it's like, you're, I remember in the eighties doing it. It's like, all you do is the movie.

• 1:28:53Speaker 03

  DC Cab, right?

• 1:28:53Bill Maher?

  DC Cab, right? My first big picture. Uh, you do the movie and sleep. That's your whole life. There's almost nothing else.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  If you're the director, you do the movie and then you answer questions, and then you go to sleep and you wake up and there's more questions.

• 1:29:09Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, I was all, I'm saying, it's just the movie and sleep. There's no life there.

• 1:29:14Speaker 03

  So it was a great experience for me because I- You know, I already obviously respected people that directed and edited and everything, but I didn't understand the process of how tedious it is and like, you know, my ADD and everything, like, I really had to like, I had to figure out a way in the edit room to give your brain a break. So what we started doing was me, Ben and Patrick Donvito, who edited the movie, we would, we would go for walks. We'd be like, you know, let's just take a walk around the block. We gotta get out, because we, you know, just in this fucking editing bay. This, you know, curtains are down and everything, and you're just fucking in this thing and just like,

• 1:29:58Speaker 03

  it became like, really productive to not sit there all day working, to actually get up and like, and you'd be looking forward, what do you think, 11 o'clock, we'll go for a walk? Okay, great. So then I can break my day down. We would have lunch, and then in the afternoon, we would go for like, another like, walk, just walking around, trying different restaurants.

• 1:30:16Bill Maher?

  What about a meditation podcast for you? What do you think? You do just mindfulness, where you just talk?

• 1:30:21Speaker 03

  Did that make you uncomfortable, that I did that?

• 1:30:23Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you see, you do that to me, but what I do to you, it's not, it's suddenly, it's out of bounds.

• 1:30:29Speaker 03

  No, I knew what you were doing. I thought we were doing that thing. So I hit it back to you, did that make you uncomfortable? I took it off of me, I put it on you. That's nothing new.

• 1:30:37Bill Maher?

  No, I'm just saying, I see you doing a kind of a, like, we call it meditation for meatheads.

• 1:30:46Speaker 03

  I am a meathead. I don't have a problem with that. I am.

• 1:30:49Bill Maher?

  What, like, it's a mindfulness?

• 1:30:51Speaker 03

  One of my most, the best thing about me is I know I'm an idiot.

• 1:30:54Bill Maher?

  You're not an idiot. If you were an idiot,

• 1:30:57Speaker 03

  Oof.

• 1:30:57Bill Maher?

  What?

• 1:30:58Speaker 03

  I mean, you know.

• 1:30:59Bill Maher?

  It's just, it's just, it's not an idiot, it's just a...

• 1:31:02Speaker 03

  You're calling me a fucking meathead, and then you're saying I'm not an idiot. You're all over the road here.

• 1:31:07Bill Maher?

  It's a bit, but, um, no, it's just that people perceive truth differently. Like, if you've ever had a lover who is like, in the arts, I know you hate that term, but like, artistic people, they don't like, perceive truth exactly literally. Now, sometimes that's better, and sometimes it's worse, because sometimes the truth is just the truth. And they don't see it that way. They see it sort of artistically, they see it through a very...

• 1:31:34Speaker 03

  Ask your question.

• 1:31:35Bill Maher?

  And I don't think they're stupid, or I just think they see life through a different prism.

• 1:31:38Speaker 03

  I'll ask you a question.

• 1:31:39Bill Maher?

  We gotta go. Good night.

• 1:31:41Speaker 03

  From the bottom of your heart, you said to another human being, you know what? I'm wrong.

• 1:31:46Bill Maher?

  Oh, all the time. All the time.

• 1:31:48Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:31:49Bill Maher?

  My favorite words are, I'm wrong, or I don't know, because every time I say them, I learn something. Absolutely.

• 1:31:55Speaker 03

  And I'm, and I'm. I didn't, I didn't see that coming from you.

• 1:31:57Bill Maher?

  I, I know, but, but we don't.

• 1:31:59Speaker 03

  Extra material in your sleeves.

• 1:32:01Bill Maher?

  We don't know, we don't know each other, and I dress like a clown, so why would we?

• 1:32:07Speaker 03

  This is, you, you, this is one of the most showbiz.

• 1:32:09Bill Maher?

  Ridiculous.

• 1:32:10Speaker 03

  This is one of the most showbiz friendships I have in this business, because the only time I've ever been is podcasts or your show.

• 1:32:17Bill Maher?

  It's just the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Have you seen Casablanca lately? I would recommend it highly.

• 1:32:22Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 1:32:22Bill Maher?

  I did.

• 1:32:23Speaker 03

  I actually.

• 1:32:24Bill Maher?

  It's so great.

• 1:32:24Speaker 03

  Took my wife to go see Casablanca, where they have the symphony downtown.

• 1:32:29Bill Maher?

  I saw it also with a lady friend.

• 1:32:31Speaker 03

  And, and.

• 1:32:32Bill Maher?

  It's very meaningful.

• 1:32:33Speaker 03

  And they, they, they, they had a live orchestra playing the score as you watched the movie.

• 1:32:38Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:32:38Speaker 03

  So cool.

• 1:32:39Bill Maher?

  Where was this?

• 1:32:40Speaker 03

  Whatever that big symphony hall is that I never go to.

• 1:32:43Bill Maher?

  Oh, downtown, the Disney Center?

• 1:32:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, the one that looks all weird.

• 1:32:46Bill Maher?

  Yeah, the one from Frank. Artsey. Frank Gehry?

• 1:32:51Speaker 03

  Frank Gehry?

• 1:32:52Bill Maher?

  He's an architect.

• 1:32:53Speaker 03

  He's an architect. I knew he was an architect. Oh, that's a big thing in your world, knowing architects' names.

• 1:33:00Bill Maher?

  I wasn't trying to brag.

• 1:33:01Speaker 03

  That's an L. Ron Hubbard.

• 1:33:02Bill Maher?

  No, no, it's just, I'm, I'm always.

• 1:33:05Speaker 03

  No, Frank Lloyd Wright. I always say L. Ron Hubbard. Frank Lloyd, that's a Frank Lloyd Wright.

• 1:33:09Bill Maher?

  You knew that one.

• 1:33:10Speaker 03

  I like Frank Lloyd Wright.

• 1:33:11Bill Maher?

  Right. He and his brother invented.

• 1:33:13Speaker 03

  I like Art Deco.

• 1:33:14Bill Maher?

  Frank Lloyd Wright, he and his brother invented the airplane.

• 1:33:16Speaker 03

  I like Art Deco.

• 1:33:19Bill Maher?

  Art Deco.

• 1:33:20Speaker 03

  First of all, I don't think you could change the oil in a car, so don't talk about fucking architecture like.

• 1:33:24Bill Maher?

  I can't and I wouldn't want to.

• 1:33:26Speaker 03

  Oh, let me adjust my glasses.

• 1:33:29Bill Maher?

  Why would I want?

• 1:33:30Speaker 03

  I don't want to.

• 1:33:31Bill Maher?

  Why would I want to, Eliza? I'm Professor Henry Higgins. That's another great one.

• 1:33:36Speaker 03

  It's a really satisfying feeling.

• 1:33:37Bill Maher?

  Have you seen My Fair Lady? Can I recommend something? Watch that with your wife. My Fair Lady. You'll really enjoy it.

• 1:33:45Speaker 03

  Some white woman spinning around in a field?

• 1:33:47Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:47Speaker 03

  I don't think she was gonna be too into that.

• 1:33:48Bill Maher?

  That's The Sound of Music, fool.

• 1:33:50Speaker 03

  Aren't those all the same movie?

• 1:33:51Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:33:52Speaker 03

  Isn't that all Fast and the Furious for the musical lovers?

• 1:33:55Bill Maher?

  My Fair Lady is based on Pygmalion.

• 1:33:58Speaker 03

  Oh, that's based on that?

• 1:34:02Speaker 03

  Can I tell you something, Bill? Most of the shit that you say is not smart. It's just sort of obscure.

• 1:34:07Bill Maher?

  It's not obscure to a certain percentage of people.

• 1:34:12Speaker 03

  People that are in your altitude.

• 1:34:13Bill Maher?

  I'm not some giant egghead. I'm just like...

• 1:34:16Speaker 03

  I know you're not that smart.

• 1:34:17Bill Maher?

  I know. I'm not saying I am. Which has something about all these things I say that you don't know what I'm talking about.

• 1:34:24Speaker 03

  So what?

• 1:34:25Bill Maher?

  I know.

• 1:34:26Speaker 03

  There's subjects I could bring up. It's just, you know, you're just into, you know, musicals.

• 1:34:33Speaker 03

  You're not gonna make me feel dumb. Because who's your favorite?

• 1:34:38Bill Maher?

  You're so dumb, you sell stadiums.

• 1:34:40Speaker 03

  What, let me ask you this. Who's your favorite? What's your favorite top musical?

• 1:34:46Bill Maher?

  You know, I'm not a musical fan at all. My Fair Lady was playing in the house when I was a kid, along with some other ones. But that's the one I gravitated to. I still could play Professor Henry Higgins. I'm almost still not too old to do that. I'm not going to do that. But it's one of the rare parts where I would be perfect for it. He's a pompous professor.

• 1:35:05Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 1:35:07Bill Maher?

  And it's just delightful. The music is great. I'm sure you know many of the songs. I won't sing them all for you.

• 1:35:14Speaker 03

  Sing one for me.

• 1:35:15Bill Maher?

  I have often walked on this street before.

• 1:35:20Speaker 03

  Sing another one. I don't know that one.

• 1:35:26Speaker 03

  I'm walking down it now. Dooby doo.

• 1:35:32Speaker 03

  Good, clean fun.

• 1:35:32Bill Maher?

  What's that?

• 1:35:34Speaker 03

  What is that? That's scat singing from your generation.

• 1:35:37Bill Maher?

  That's scat singing.

• 1:35:39Speaker 03

  That's one of the most annoying things ever. Scat singing? I get it. You sound like a trumpet. Stop it.

• 1:35:45Bill Maher?

  It would make your zoot suit itch.

• 1:35:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wasn't... Scat singing is something I have to walk away from.

• 1:35:54Bill Maher?

  What music do you listen to? What music do you listen to, Bill Burr?

• 1:35:59Speaker 03

  I'll tell you the latest thing I downloaded, Willow Smith.

• 1:36:02Bill Maher?

  Willow Smith?

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  Just put out a fucking incredible album and what I'm loving is the drums are incredible and so much of it is in like an odd time. I was trying to play along to this one song that started in seven and then it stops, there's a bar of eight and then you play in seven and then the chorus is in four. And I literally had to write it out to try and just figure out like the first friggin half of it. So I listened to that. I still listen to Zeppelin.

• 1:36:31Bill Maher?

  Zeppelin, yeah.

• 1:36:32Speaker 03

  I've been listening to Kenny Rogers. I like like old school country.

• 1:36:35Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:36Speaker 03

  I like, I like a lot of hip hop right into,

• 1:36:46Speaker 03

  right about Biggie dying and Jay-Z coming up. I liked all of that. I liked storytellers.

• 1:36:53Bill Maher?

  Nineties.

• 1:36:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, yeah, and a lot of the eighties shit is really cool too, but like, basically the nineties and what I loved about Biggie was he was fucking hilarious and he was an incredible, incredible storyteller and his stage presence was unbelievable. And the fact that he was only 24, he did all of that by 24 and,

• 1:37:20Speaker 03

  you know, I was really into that. Now, you know, you just age out of it because people are talking about stuff. I mean, not like I could relate to what he was.

• 1:37:29Bill Maher?

  Well, actually, Bill, I wish we could, but there's another rap war going on currently. Maybe you've heard about it between Drake and Kendrick Lamar.

• 1:37:38Speaker 03

  And who better to discuss this?

• 1:37:41Bill Maher?

  And.

• 1:37:41Speaker 03

  A sixty something and a fifty something year old white guy.

• 1:37:46Bill Maher?

  What do you make of this rap war, this sort of renaissance of the nineties rap wars?

• 1:37:52Speaker 03

  I think it's, it's great. It's great.

• 1:37:55Bill Maher?

  Great?

• 1:37:55Speaker 03

  Well, it's great for.

• 1:37:56Bill Maher?

  How many got shot today?

• 1:37:59Speaker 03

  Oh, well, you know, you have to make your hard-nosed decisions.

• 1:38:04Speaker 03

  I, uh, no, I think it's great. It's, it's, it's, it's fun. I think it's fun.

• 1:38:10Bill Maher?

  Why can't we all get along?

• 1:38:11Speaker 03

  That are all, why can't we all get along? Because sociopaths want all of it.

• 1:38:16Bill Maher?

  But why, why?

• 1:38:17Speaker 03

  They don't want to share.

• 1:38:18Bill Maher?

  Why Drake and Kendrick Lamar? I mean, why are mommy and daddy fighting?

• 1:38:22Speaker 03

  I don't know what you, I don't know where you're going with this.

• 1:38:24Bill Maher?

  Why are they, why are they, what?

• 1:38:26Speaker 03

  I believe the kids call it beefing.

• 1:38:28Bill Maher?

  I know. It is beefing.

• 1:38:29Speaker 03

  I know. I'm single. I'm into all this. No cap.

• 1:38:36Speaker 03

  I don't know, I don't know anything about, I don't know anything about that world. I, I, I, you know, I don't know. I don't, I don't fucking know.

• 1:38:44Bill Maher?

  Has 60 Minutes done you yet?

• 1:38:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:38:48Bill Maher?

  See, it never stops. That whole thing about, you know, why am I not, somebody passed me. They got 60 Minutes.

• 1:38:55Speaker 03

  No, no, no. I, I, I like, I like, I like where I am in this business.

• 1:39:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:00Speaker 03

  I like that, that this, I just do what I do and whoever likes it, likes it and whoever doesn't moves on to something else. I don't have like that.

• 1:39:08Bill Maher?

  Bet just 60 Minutes does you within the next two years.

• 1:39:11Speaker 03

  I'll take that bet.

• 1:39:12Bill Maher?

  All right. Well, I had a ball.

• 1:39:15Speaker 03

  I had a great time.

• 1:39:16Bill Maher?

  I'm, I hope so because.

• 1:39:18Speaker 03

  You're my favorite smarmy person in this business.

• 1:39:20Bill Maher?

  You're my favorite whatever the fuck.

• 1:39:23Speaker 03

  Meathead.

• 1:39:32Bill Maher?

  All right.

• 1:39:32Speaker 03

  What a dunk. I had a fucking great time.

• 1:39:34Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:34Speaker 03

  I had a, oh, come on, bring it in. Oh, he goes for the side hug, the side hug. Non-committal, even with his male friend.

• 1:39:42Bill Maher?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:39:47Speaker 01

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