Mike Tyson | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

Bill Maher and Mike Tyson randomly riff on why Mike flies Jet Blue, how everybody wants to beat up Jake Paul, pigeon racing, the best punch known to man, and the tragedy of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: [email protected] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Maher?

  Okay, folks, we are digging into the vault and pulling out some of our favorite episodes from the last four years, which we're calling Club Random Classics. What else would we call it? Starting September 18th, every third Thursday, we're dropping episodes that prove good conversation still exists, occasionally interrupted by profanity or an unexpected life lesson or, you know, I OD'd once or twice. But you'll see them all. We're kicking things off with a singular guest, a man who can talk ancient history with surprising detail, who has firsthand knowledge of farting tigers, who still flies commercial despite global fame. Can you guess who this is yet? He's got a big fight coming up,

• 0:45Bill Maher?

  I think with Floyd Mayweather. And who you definitely don't want to cross mid-flight, Mike Tyson. Yes, Mike Tyson. This episode originally aired May 9th, 2022. Ah, those halcyon days. Well, buckle up and don't forget, every third Thursday, we'll release another Club Random Classic. And you can always dive into the back catalog for more conversations you won't want to miss.

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• 2:42Bill Maher?

  Mike, I have to ask you the question the whole world wants to know. Why are you flying on JetBlue?

• 2:49Speaker 04

  My wife says the same thing.

• 2:51Bill Maher?

  And you said it was your favorite airline. And I was just about to ask you, why is it your favorite airline?

• 2:56Speaker 04

  My wife says the same thing.

• 2:57Bill Maher?

  What are they doing on JetBlue?

• 3:00Speaker 04

  You know, I love JetBlue. I don't know why. I got the television.

• 3:04Bill Maher?

  Stevie Wonder used to live the Holiday Inn.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  They are great.

• 3:08Bill Maher?

  You know why?

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Why?

• 3:10Bill Maher?

  Because everything was in the same place.

• 3:12Speaker 04

  Well, maybe. I just love JetBlue.

• 3:15Bill Maher?

  It's comfortable.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't fly any other line.

• 3:17Bill Maher?

  See, that's why you...

• 3:18Speaker 04

  My wife is like... She wants me always in private plane. My wife says, "Why don't you..." She has the key. She can't fathom it.

• 3:26Bill Maher?

  Mike, sound like one tiger. And you could probably just fly whatever airline you want.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  I guess so.

• 3:32Bill Maher?

  You got rid of the tigers. You had tigers, though, right?

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I had tigers flying. I had a bunch of cool guys.

• 3:38Bill Maher?

  Yeah. That's wrong. I'm an animal lover.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, absolutely. 100%.

• 3:47Bill Maher?

  100%, but you had tigers in captivity. That can't be good for the tiger.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  No, no, um... They weren't in captivity. They slept in my bed with me. What are you talking about?

• 4:01Speaker 04

  I got 500 pounds in the bed with me, man. What are you talking about? I got them in cages.

• 4:06Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, they're not... I mean, you're right. You know, I've always thought about animals.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Have you ever smelled a tiger fart?

• 4:12Bill Maher?

  No.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  You gotta evacuate... I had, what, 15,000... I gotta evacuate the house. You gotta open up everything, call those people to blow everything out.

• 4:20Bill Maher?

  Seriously?

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm at the worst thing in the world.

• 4:23Bill Maher?

  The level of it or the extreme stench of it?

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Both.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  Well, you can't, nothing.

• 4:33Bill Maher?

  Well, what were you feeding the tiger that it was farting so badly? Don't you think also?

• 4:37Speaker 04

  Horse meat.

• 4:38Bill Maher?

  Horse meat, is that what they eat?

• 4:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, they love horse meat in Czech, yeah.

• 4:42Bill Maher?

  Oh, so you killed horses and kept tiger?

• 4:45Speaker 04

  Hey, stop, I never killed horses in my life.

• 4:47Bill Maher?

  Well, where'd you get the meat?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  I paid for it, but listen.

• 4:52Bill Maher?

  Well, somebody killed it.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, they're the horses that they send to, what you would call?

• 4:58Bill Maher?

  The glue factor?

• 4:59Speaker 04

  The glue factor, yeah, those guys that can't do it.

• 5:01Bill Maher?

  And Mike, where do you stand on horse fighting as a legalized sport?

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Horse fighting?

• 5:05Bill Maher?

  I'm just making.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  Horse fighting?

• 5:06Bill Maher?

  Just fucking with.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  Horses do fight, remember that horse that the other horses there?

• 5:15Speaker 04

  He did a Mike Tyson.

• 5:17Bill Maher?

  I was gonna say.

• 5:18Speaker 04

  The other horse was winning, he was mad, he bit his head trying to pull him back.

• 5:22Bill Maher?

  But see, I love this that you love JetBlue because I always thought of you as like the people's champ, you know, I mean, when you, first of all, people call you champ and they should, because champ is like, it's like when you're president, they call you president even after you write all of it, senator, governor, they always say, the guy's out of over 20 years, governor, and you always will be champ.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  But I learned something with my last experience, I'm on a plane, I learned I don't belong to me. Too many people.

• 5:49Bill Maher?

  You're just wearing that?

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Yes. My right hand to God.

• 5:53Bill Maher?

  Mike, you've been famous.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  No, but listen, I never know that my actions affect so many people, they worry, you know.

• 6:00Bill Maher?

  Of course, no, they inspire people, though. A lot of your actions have inspired people, I mean.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  But it's that fact that people worry, they see the incident and they just worry.

• 6:10Bill Maher?

  But Mike, your Broadway show, which I saw on TV, but I don't live near Broadway. Fantastic, and it inspired people.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  I like to continue.

• 6:23Bill Maher?

  You don't, you don't know that? You must know that about your life, or else you wouldn't have done that show.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  Sometimes that's my selfishness and not ego.

• 6:31Bill Maher?

  What is your selfishness?

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Just wanting to succeed and be happy, but hey, I want to keep myself to me.

• 6:37Bill Maher?

  Well, that's not selfish, that's whatever you all want. You, I mean, you have some obligation, I think.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  I have to realize that I don't belong to me anymore.

• 6:48Bill Maher?

  You never did, since you were twenty, because you were a champ.

• 6:52Speaker 04

  I didn't understand that till now, like when I got into that incident, so many people calling with, "Bro, and I'm like, oh."

• 6:56Bill Maher?

  That one douchebag on JetBlue did that after thirty fucking years of being in the spotlight? Anyway, I just want to tell you, you really are, when I see people with you, because the over, the reaction is overwhelmingly in your favor. You are like the people's champ, like remember they called Lady Diana the people's princess? You're like her, but with fighting.

• 7:21Speaker 04

  But what am I gonna do on a private plane?

• 7:23Bill Maher?

  What are you gonna do on a private, you can jerk off if you want.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  I know, but look, exactly, but listen, it's only me and people I know. I, I'm like one of those guys, I'm like, I have to be seen, I have to be around the people, I, I don't know.

• 7:35Bill Maher?

  Oh, is that right?

• 7:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm one of those guys. Is he like that? I have, yeah.

• 7:40Bill Maher?

  It's a great documentary.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  I can't, I can't be, um, isolated.

• 7:44Bill Maher?

  Mike, you gotta see, HBO did a documentary about Bird and Magic. Like when they were playing again, you know, the eighties. It's fantastic, because they're such opposite personalities, but they came to quite love each other.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Bird's badass, though.

• 8:00Bill Maher?

  Yes, he is, and he kept, but he's like.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  He's a serious guy.

• 8:04Bill Maher?

  He didn't want the spotlight, legit, he real, and Magic only wanted the spotlight. And he talks about when they were in Barcelona at the ninety-two Olympics, remember the first dream team, basketball team? And he said, "We were in the hotel, we were getting mobbed, there was a side door you could go out, that they told us, and no one would bother you." But Magic didn't want to use the side door, you know? That's who he was, and that's great, but you don't, you're not obligated to do that. They don't own you. They own your work, because you put it out in public and shared it, they don't own you.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  You know.

• 8:41Bill Maher?

  Your family owns you.

• 8:42Speaker 04

  My mind is just, um, my, my, my mentality is jet blue.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Does that make sense?

• 8:50Bill Maher?

  And apparently your travel plans also include JetBlue. No, I mean, that's not, Mike, I have not flown commercial like practically in this century. The second I could get off. Of course, and I used to hide it because I thought, oh, it makes me look terrible with the environment. You know what?

• 9:09Bill Maher?

  I always say it, but the kids, they have to care about the environment more than me because it's their planet they're inheriting, and they don't. They worship Kylie Jenner, who never does anything but flies on a private plane. So when Kylie gives up the plane, I'll give up mine. How about that? You have a drink? Do you drink?

• 9:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, some water.

• 9:27Bill Maher?

  Oh, my God, you have a bag of... Jesus, Mike. How's the business going? How's the pot business? You love it?

• 9:36Speaker 04

  Hey, listen, right, it gave me a new life.

• 9:39Bill Maher?

  You love it?

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:40Bill Maher?

  Yeah. I notice you don't keep that lip, though.

• 9:43Speaker 04

  I know. My friends, they play football and pass, man. You're totally the joy.

• 9:50Bill Maher?

  Yeah. But so how, how do you, do you go into an office every day with the pot business? Do you like, are you CEO, Mike, and you sit at the big desk and you're like, and you, and you, and you, and Jenkins, how does Vice President Jenkins sound? If we can get quarterly numbers up.

• 10:08Speaker 04

  I'm hands on. Listen, I don't look, I am. I don't look at myself as a boardroom guy, but I am.

• 10:15Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  On paper, but that's not, I have to be with, I have to be in the streets with the people. That's how I'm effective. I'm not effective in the room and...

• 10:23Bill Maher?

  Right. Well, you're, and also it's wasting the great ambassador for the product.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  Exactly. I'm a, I'm Mr. Street, I think the work, I'm a worker.

• 10:34Bill Maher?

  Yes, you are. And, and what do you, like, when people say, what has it done for you? Like, what is your testimonial? What is your love letter to marijuana that has made you want to actually be in business with it?

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Hey, listen, you know what?

• 10:54Speaker 04

  You could just, um, I don't even have to do, go through a big discussion about a dissertation. You could just ask my family, "Am I a better guy with it or without it?" And they would tell you a hundred percent with it.

• 11:08Bill Maher?

  I'm with it.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 11:10Bill Maher?

  I'm definitely with it.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  I am like, "Oh, I never knew that I'm a moody guy." You know, I thought I was a great guy and stuff. I never knew how moody I was.

• 11:18Bill Maher?

  You didn't know you were famous and you didn't know you were moody.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  Well, I never knew.

• 11:21Bill Maher?

  Mike!

• 11:22Speaker 04

  Well, I only know I was famous, but I didn't know that to that effect. My selfishness is like, "I wanna love this. I wanna be into this." I had no idea.

• 11:32Bill Maher?

  When you're the heavyweight champion of the world, even if you're a non-charismatic guy, you're very famous. But when you're charismatic like you are, you know, when you have that, you know, X-factor, you could also like, you know, you did your turn in The Hangover. But, you know, you could, uh, you could be in movies. You know, you could fucking do what The Rock does if you wanted to. Probably do it better. You know, you got, not that he's not good, but, you know.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  And I would, I am gonna do that stuff. We getting ready to do, um...

• 12:02Bill Maher?

  You are?

• 12:03Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. We getting ready to do my lifestyle. We gonna do this without anybody. We put our own money out. We just gonna do this stuff.

• 12:10Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you look great, by the way. You really grew into your, what are you, fifty?

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Fifty-five.

• 12:16Bill Maher?

  Fifty, double nickel?

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:18Bill Maher?

  No, you look...

• 12:21Bill Maher?

  The tattoo has, has grown in nicely in age, I feel.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  You know, um, I never thought by doing it, I never knew I would live to see so many other people with it.

• 12:34Bill Maher?

  I know, exactly. Right, when you did it, it was very, very...

• 12:41Speaker 04

  You had to been a hell's angel.

• 12:42Bill Maher?

  Right. Yeah, prison or some, out there. It was very out there to, to do that. And you're right, tattoos, you know, they are moving like a fungus up the body. And they're on the neck, and they're on, now they're on the face, and they're kinda taking over, I feel.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  You know, listen, um... You think about it. Two thousand years ago. All of our ancestors were all tattooed up.

• 13:09Bill Maher?

  They were?

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely. What was those guys?

• 13:13Bill Maher?

  I'm not sure we had the same ancestors two thousand years ago.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  No, what was those guys, um, that the Romans was always trying to gaul at? They were all tattooed up.

• 13:23Bill Maher?

  The Romans did what?

• 13:24Speaker 04

  Remember when they, um?

• 13:26Bill Maher?

  Conquered?

• 13:27Speaker 04

  They, no, but they had, they crossed the Rhine and they conquered, um.

• 13:31Bill Maher?

  Yes, right, well, they crossed the Rhine, but then.

• 13:34Speaker 04

  It was Caesar, it was Julius Caesar.

• 13:37Bill Maher?

  Julius Caesar conquered Gaul.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was Gaul, and he fought Jason Drettrix, the guys who they conquered.

• 13:43Bill Maher?

  Well, actually.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Gettrix, Gettrix, Jason Gettrix.

• 13:46Bill Maher?

  Who is he?

• 13:47Speaker 04

  Gettrix is the leader of Gaul that fought Julius Caesar.

• 13:51Bill Maher?

  Oh, I don't know that name. What is his name?

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Gettrix.

• 13:56Bill Maher?

  You sure we're?

• 13:57Speaker 04

  I'm absolutely positive.

• 13:58Bill Maher?

  Okay, um, okay, so. He fought Julius Caesar, but, uh, Julius Caesar died and then they tried to go up the other side of France, Gaul, is Germany. They never got to, the Roman Empire was halted.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Nine A.D.

• 14:16Bill Maher?

  Nine A.D., the Battle of the Hertenberg Forest, right? Because that's where Herman the German defeated, I think it's Valyrie.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Valence.

• 14:26Bill Maher?

  Valence, correct, the Roman emperor. That's as far as they got, because when they got into Germany, they found the tribes were super tribal.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  But they got, um, in order to do that, they, they were a warring tribe, but they all, um.

• 14:40Bill Maher?

  Yeah, bonded together.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, only way they can do it.

• 14:43Bill Maher?

  And the guy who, uh, was, who defeated him, uh, that Herman the German guy, he had been taken in by the Romans and raised.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, all those guys, the Romans come and they.

• 14:55Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  They take all the kids and they raise them and they enslave them and they use them in the army.

• 15:00Bill Maher?

  So, so this is your, this is a passion of yours, history, obviously. You obviously read history.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  I just know it.

• 15:08Bill Maher?

  Well, you must have read it somewhere.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I used to read, I used to always read about boxing history. And then it went, and I read from the beginning of it. And then I got involved with gladiators, slaves.

• 15:19Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  And then, yeah.

• 15:20Bill Maher?

  That led you to Rome.

• 15:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, it got really interesting.

• 15:22Bill Maher?

  All roads lead to Rome.

• 15:24Speaker 04

  Exactly, and do you know there was, there was gladiators that won their freedom ten, twenty times, but they just couldn't stop the adrenaline.

• 15:31Bill Maher?

  You mean, they wanted to, they could have left, but they...

• 15:34Speaker 04

  They won their freedom, yeah, so many times.

• 15:36Bill Maher?

  Boy.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  But they couldn't, the addiction of the people, they were like fighters today, they were celebrities. Gladiators were celebrities.

• 15:42Bill Maher?

  Athletes still always say that, you know, I did it for the game. Oh, fuck you, that you did it for the game, you did it for you. You, you know, I gave everything to the game, yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  Nothing, but this is what I found out, nothing's bigger than the game. The game is the platform for everybody.

• 15:58Bill Maher?

  Well, again, but see, your platform is, is really premise interparis. There's a lot of things, but something very primal about going into a ring with another man and punching each other in the head is, like, it puts it above, as far as interest level. You know, it's just, it's, it's just, it gets to it in a very deep way. Like, and it's very clear who the winner and as well...

• 16:27Speaker 04

  The fighters doesn't look, the fighters look, how can I outsmart this guy? There is not ever what it appears to be. It looks like two guys killing each other, but the whole objective, how do I outsmart this guy?

• 16:37Bill Maher?

  You think that's, it's always about outsmarting, that's how you...

• 16:40Speaker 04

  Listen, when you're young and you're a kid, you win because you're stronger. But when you're at the top of the game, you only win because you're smarter.

• 16:46Bill Maher?

  Right. But you have to be smart at the beginning too, I would guess.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  Absolutely, but, um, it's from experience, but I'm talking about at the top of the game. Being number one is only because you're smarter.

• 16:56Bill Maher?

  Right, I'm sure. But weren't you the one who said, everybody has a plan until they get hit?

• 17:02Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 17:02Bill Maher?

  Now, that's a great quote.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 17:04Bill Maher?

  Everybody...

• 17:05Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 17:06Bill Maher?

  And see, here's...

• 17:07Speaker 04

  Even with me, with everybody in life in general, we, we have to realize that, um, things can happen. What, um, what's that happen?

• 17:16Bill Maher?

  Should happen.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  It should happen. If it could happen, it would happen.

• 17:22Bill Maher?

  But here's my guess about you, like, now I know, is that Jake Paul wants to fight you?

• 17:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm gonna call him sometime Friday and we're gonna talk.

• 17:34Bill Maher?

  And what, now, would you consider actually doing that?

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 17:41Bill Maher?

  You don't worry about fighting at your age, at 55?

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Check this out, we were talking about Julius Caesar, weren't we?

• 17:49Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  He's the one that raised, he said 365 days is a year. So if he, before he was born, how did we tell our age?

• 17:58Bill Maher?

  Is this a riddle?

• 17:59Speaker 04

  No, no, but really, Julius Caesar told us 365 days is a year. But before he was born, how did we tell our age?

• 18:08Bill Maher?

  By when the sun came back.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  No, how do you know that?

• 18:12Bill Maher?

  Because that's, you know, that's why we have, like, Christmas. Do you know why Christmas is December 25th?

• 18:18Speaker 04

  Why that?

• 18:19Bill Maher?

  Because the so-

• 18:20Speaker 04

  When I was born, that's when Jesus was born, I believe.

• 18:23Bill Maher?

  Well, that's when they said Jesus was born. Okay, even if he even existed as a historical figure, which we don't know. But the reason why Jesus-

• 18:32Speaker 04

  Jesus?

• 18:33Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  It's the, you're listening, you don't believe in Jesus like that? I'm a Muslim, but you don't believe in Jesus?

• 18:38Bill Maher?

  I do not, I'm not atheist, but, but also-

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Oh, I know what I wanted to say to you.

• 18:43Bill Maher?

  What?

• 18:43Speaker 04

  I was, when you were going, I'm saying, I read about all the greatest conquerors in the world and they conquered the world and they still sentenced, they frustrated, they said, "God, there's still something greater than me."

• 18:55Bill Maher?

  Well, when they got defeated, they said that?

• 18:57Speaker 04

  No, no, no, they defeated, they conquered the world.

• 19:00Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  And they said, "God, there's still something greater than me."

• 19:04Bill Maher?

  Why, why? What would it be if they conquered the world?

• 19:07Speaker 04

  That feeling that it's not, I'm not-

• 19:10Bill Maher?

  Not enough?

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it's that feeling that there's something greater than me. It's just, I'm, you have to believe in something greater than you.

• 19:17Bill Maher?

  Well, I, I feel like if you're at the point where you've conquered the world, then your ego's in a place where you're not saying, "There's something greater than me." There's, and they did, many conquerors did, set themselves up as gods on earth. So they thought they were god. You know when they said, "There's something greater than me," when they got their ass kicked? Seriously, that's what I'm saying. Like, do you ever see Alexander the Great, the movie?

• 19:42Speaker 04

  I know everything about Alexander from what there is to know about him.

• 19:47Bill Maher?

  Okay, well, I know a lot about it from Oliver Stone's movie. I'm sure I learned it in college too, but his was much more interesting and Rosario Dawson was really great in it.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 19:57Bill Maher?

  And Angelina Jolie.

• 19:59Speaker 04

  And all really, he was scared of his mother.

• 20:01Bill Maher?

  Yes, Angelina Jolie.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  That's why he never went back. He was scared to go back. His men wanted him to go back. He was scared of his mother. He kept in touch with his mother. He was just a momma's boy.

• 20:12Bill Maher?

  Yes, that's how they portray it in the movie, that they almost had an incestuous relationship.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  No, she was just one of those first stage mothers. Napoleon's mother was the same way. They was afraid of their mothers and stuff.

• 20:27Bill Maher?

  Well, yes, I mean, certainly sexuality in Roman times was quite different. I mean, like, the way we talk about straight and gay, and now, of course, straight.

• 20:38Speaker 04

  In Roman, they do right in the street. Everything right in the middle of the street. Right now, everybody screwing, they're slaying, they're shitting in the street, everything right there. Everything in the street.

• 20:47Bill Maher?

  And that's why you say you're a man of the street.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  It's disgusting. It's just the...

• 20:51Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a mess. Roman is a mess. The Romans are a mess.

• 21:00Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  They're like, hey man, I need you to go. They hit, I need you to go.

• 21:07Bill Maher?

  It's tough when you're trying to get a pay for it. Yeah. But what I was gonna say is...

• 21:12Speaker 04

  I'm a big, I'm sorry to...

• 21:13Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, I want you to...

• 21:15Speaker 04

  I'm a big fan of love letters, so I read some of the love letters from like before the beginning of time. Like Plato had some love letters. I read some of his love letters.

• 21:23Bill Maher?

  Whose love letters?

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Plato.

• 21:25Bill Maher?

  Oh, Plato. Well, that's Greek.

• 21:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, but from the history of the world, the greatest love letters. And so, you know, you read these letters.

• 21:32Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, Greek, the love letters could have been to a boy.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 21:37Bill Maher?

  Okay, well, not that that's wrong, but I'm just saying they had a, you know, the pederast, that was a big thing back then, someone who took an interest in what today we would certainly say is an inappropriate age.

• 21:50Speaker 04

  You know, that's what gladiators, gladiators really in all like they were your fuckboys. They fought, but they were fuckboys, you know what I mean? They've been, they get sexually abused all the time, the gods fucked them all the time, but you know, they'd kill you, but that's what they were, they were slaves, they were sex.

• 22:05Bill Maher?

  Well, and after they had sex with the women, you know what they said? Gladiator.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  I think they liked men more than women back then.

• 22:15Speaker 01

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• 22:45Speaker 05

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• 23:14Bill Maher?

  So Caesar gets stabbed in 44 B.C.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 23:17Bill Maher?

  Right? He crossed the Rhine, the Rhine. He crossed the Rubicon.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  He made him feel governor for life?

• 23:24Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  What would it for life?

• 23:26Bill Maher?

  Like Grand Poobah, you know, with a big cheese, whatever it was, dictator. I mean, this is the theme in many countries, and by the way, it's the, it's the theme they ripped off for the end wisely, because it's a great story, but it was the end, if you ever watched Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones.

• 23:45Speaker 04

  We loved the Game of Thrones.

• 23:46Bill Maher?

  You did? Okay, well, what is the end? What is the plot point? It's the Julius Caesar plot point. In other words, the blonde girl who's like, she's benevolent sort of, and then she becomes a dictator and they gotta kill her.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  She's a bad chick, though, right? With her dragons, she was a bad chick.

• 24:04Bill Maher?

  But she took a knife in the belly, the same way JC did.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, she had to go.

• 24:12Bill Maher?

  She had to go because she turned.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  Too powerful.

• 24:15Bill Maher?

  Exactly, that's the Caesar story.

• 24:17Speaker 04

  She was just a humble girl, taking a vow of sexual, and I think that she conquered the, right in the series. And she conquered everything, she's got dragons. You have flying dragons.

• 24:26Bill Maher?

  No, she let the dragons go to her head.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:29Bill Maher?

  Yeah. And she's the girl with the dragon tattoo.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  Um, intoxicating. Powers intoxicating. Power.

• 24:38Bill Maher?

  Power, exactly. So, anyway, the Romans, sexually though, they, and the Greeks, but especially the Romans, they didn't have this, you know, oh, you're gay, you're straight. It was like, you're cute. You know, I mean, like Mark Antony, very macho guy, right? Who, part of the cabal that succeeded Caesar, right? I mean, he had, you know, the wife, and then he had the, you know, the concubine kind of mistresses, and then he had like thirteen year old boys, was a very.

• 25:17Speaker 04

  I don't wanna say, but, you know, the people, say, what the fuck, do you know homosexuals conquered the world?

• 25:22Bill Maher?

  Homosexuals have?

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:23Bill Maher?

  I know they conquered the West Hollywood.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  No, I'm, forget that, I'm talking about warriors, gladiators. Yeah, they conquered the ancient world.

• 25:31Bill Maher?

  What, what do you mean? You're saying most of the.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Their tribe conquered the world, went out to conquer the world.

• 25:37Bill Maher?

  Who's tribe?

• 25:39Speaker 04

  The Greeks, the Romans or somebody conquered the world.

• 25:43Bill Maher?

  When they were gay?

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, they were homosexual and they conquered the world.

• 25:47Bill Maher?

  But, see, you're saying they're homosexual and what I'm saying is, there wasn't this concept back then that was homosexuality.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  No, listen.

• 25:57Bill Maher?

  Right?

• 25:57Speaker 04

  We're the, Americans are the only, um, phobic people in the world.

• 26:02Bill Maher?

  That's ridiculous. There's many homophobic people.

• 26:05Speaker 04

  Not like this place.

• 26:06Bill Maher?

  Are you kidding?

• 26:06Speaker 04

  Not like America, come on.

• 26:08Bill Maher?

  What? Every Muslim country in the world, you get thrown off of a roof.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  Well, that's some extreme stuff.

• 26:15Bill Maher?

  It's extreme. It's extreme stuff that a lot...

• 26:18Speaker 04

  Listen, as a Muslim myself, I know this. Everybody is in, um, anybody is worthy of the mercy of God. I don't care what you did.

• 26:29Bill Maher?

  I don't think you have to be Muslim to believe that.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  No, no, but that's what I believe.

• 26:34Bill Maher?

  I am good. Good. It's a good thing to believe. But that's not what we're talking about.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  I don't believe nobody should kill someone else.

• 26:39Bill Maher?

  Okay, but I gotta correct the record about, like, intolerance or homosexuality is very much alive in the world today. It's more probably alive in Muslim countries.

• 26:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, listen, those are true.

• 26:52Bill Maher?

  They've studied this.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  I'm talking about a...

• 26:53Bill Maher?

  But it's alive in many countries.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  I'm talking about a country...

• 26:55Bill Maher?

  Russia is horrible with...

• 26:56Speaker 04

  No, I'm talking about a country like this that takes everybody, who fights everybody's rights and everybody's equal. Well, I'm talking about that country like that. All of the other countries are, you know, they're kind of tricky, you know? But a country that promotes, hey, equal rights and all this crap.

• 27:13Bill Maher?

  Yeah, America has so much.

• 27:14Speaker 04

  And then we got, we got some crazy people.

• 27:16Bill Maher?

  Yeah, America is a place with horrible sins in its past and its present. But, you know, if you look around the world, there is perspective to that too.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  I have perspective too in America. I think this is the best country in the world.

• 27:31Bill Maher?

  Oh, there you go.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  But listen, we're not perfect.

• 27:36Bill Maher?

  Agreed, of course.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  We're not perfect.

• 27:37Bill Maher?

  And we never will be. I mean, because it's amazing we're even still here, really. When you think about how primitive and how lizardy our lizard brains are.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  Listen, we can't even anticipate our next breath.

• 27:49Bill Maher?

  What?

• 27:50Speaker 04

  We can't even anticipate, we can, we can get that any moment.

• 27:53Bill Maher?

  Right, life is fun.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  I can't anticipate me another second talking to you.

• 27:57Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, hopefully it's gonna be a good second. But, you know, sometimes when I get up in the night, like, to pee.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  But no, I used to take something for that band, but listen, I used to get up and pee every day.

• 28:13Bill Maher?

  It's only once in the middle of the night.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I'm like four times. And long, too, it's long.

• 28:19Bill Maher?

  That's probably because Buster Douglas hit you in the kidney a million times.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  No, he hit you in the head.

• 28:23Bill Maher?

  Well, whatever. Your body is taking a beating, which gets me back to the fight. Here's my thing about the fight. I worry about you, I don't want you to, like, you have a really good brain and you're doing great things with it. I would hate to see, you know, because here's my guess.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  Go for it.

• 28:41Bill Maher?

  About where you are, like, I bet, of course, at 55, you do not have the wind to go around the ring like a boxer in his prime does. You're also more brittle than you were at 25, but my guess is the actual punch that you have is exactly as it was when you were the champ.

• 29:05Speaker 04

  I don't think so. No? But listen, you know why you believe all the stuff you said, you're brittle? Because you believe that. I don't believe that.

• 29:15Bill Maher?

  Not at 55, a little more than at 25? You don't think your body was a little more rubbery and...

• 29:21Speaker 04

  I have to live my life different in that perspective, but I don't think that I'm brittle and I'm a...

• 29:27Bill Maher?

  No, no, not brittle.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  I'm a frigging guy that's got 25 and I better bend down and suck on him.

• 29:33Bill Maher?

  Okay, but like, you know what? I saw this movie with Stallone and Schwarzenegger that they made recently. I mean, they're both punching 70 in the mouth, right? And like, it's some escape from prison movie and they're fucking hitting each other with lead pipes. I'm like, you guys are 68, that your body could not, I mean, at any age, but maybe at 25, you could come back from it. Come on, you've got to acknowledge that time, you know, it's a river, it flows, Mike, it doesn't stop flowing, you know?

• 30:05Speaker 04

  But listen, it doesn't have to stop flowing, but maybe you, you don't have to flow with it. You know, you just can't give up in life.

• 30:14Bill Maher?

  Speaking of flow.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  I'm old, I can't...

• 30:16Bill Maher?

  When I get up and pee in the night. Like, I don't want to turn the light on because, you know, light is bad for sleep, right?

• 30:22Speaker 04

  Really?

• 30:23Bill Maher?

  Well, sure.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  I need it because I'm gonna piss on the floor and everything. My wife is so mad. Listen, my wife come to go use the bathroom. She's sitting down, I put it on her thing. I pissed all over the thing. My wife, oh god. I'm undomesticated, I'm serious, no, I'm serious. My wife get up and say, you're just a pig. Like, I pissed all over the thing and I didn't pick it up.

• 30:45Bill Maher?

  Well, okay, we can certainly work on this. I feel like this is a totally solvable problem.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  No, it's not.

• 30:58Bill Maher?

  Yeah, introduce me to your wife, we'll work on it together. But here's the point I was going for is that, like, it's, I wanna keep it dark because when you get light in your eye, it tells your body to wake up. So that's why your room should be completely dark when you sleep. And I don't want light. So, I know where everything is, it's my house, I piss there all the time. So, I don't really need light, but I'm doing this because I wanna bump my head on the door or the door to the bathroom, whatever, you know. So, I always feel like that's life. When you're moving forward, everything is in the dark, you can kinda see a little bit, and you're using your hands to protect yourself.

• 31:36Speaker 04

  See, I'm not like, I don't think like, I can't sleep sometime at night. My wife will leave me alone, I wouldn't say I'm jerking off. I used to be one of those guys, but listen, you know, come on, I just can't do it. I'm sitting for my wife, hey, just leave me alone, okay? I gotta sleep. I miss, um, I go to bed at eight o'clock and wake up at two in the morning, can't sleep.

• 31:56Bill Maher?

  But you like being married.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  I love being married.

• 31:58Bill Maher?

  Right, I know you do, and sincerely, that's great to see it. When people, because so many people, when they're married, you know, you say, you know, what's it like? And they're like, well, you know, it's a lot of work. They go right to sort of the...

• 32:09Speaker 04

  It's no work.

• 32:10Bill Maher?

  Really? That's no work, your marriage is no work.

• 32:13Speaker 04

  No, I'm talking about from the fact that it's for Karen, but no, there's no work with, oh god, you give me a hard time.

• 32:20Bill Maher?

  That's fantastic.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  It's just, um, I like her to give me a hard time. You know what I mean? Imagine, listen, that's what you have a wife for.

• 32:26Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 32:27Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  To make you, to remind you that you're a man.

• 32:30Bill Maher?

  That's why I have a wife.

• 32:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, to remind you that you're a man.

• 32:33Bill Maher?

  They do?

• 32:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:35Bill Maher?

  A lot of times they put your balls in their purse, though. I mean, so there's also that side of it, you know.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  Listen, um... All the time they do. If you have that dependence on a woman like that, she got your balls. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. What's a bad thing? Maybe she just wanna comfort my balls or something.

• 32:53Bill Maher?

  Well, that's a different ball theory. Yes, I mean, that's not-

• 32:57Speaker 04

  Manscape. We're always talking about balls. I'm always promoting manscape and we're talking about balls all the time.

• 33:01Bill Maher?

  So you do that for your wife, you manscape, because it's-

• 33:04Speaker 04

  I don't do, never, no. I'm not a hairy person. I'm not hairy at all.

• 33:09Bill Maher?

  No, but the beard looks very good. You're very distinguished. Yeah, I do too.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  Like the beard.

• 33:14Bill Maher?

  Really good. Good look.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  I don't know. I'm not a hairy guy at all.

• 33:19Bill Maher?

  Right, never were.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  Never had no hair.

• 33:21Bill Maher?

  That's interesting. So, okay, so you like being married.

• 33:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:25Bill Maher?

  Uh, and you're a Muslim.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:27Bill Maher?

  Is the whole family Muslim?

• 33:31Speaker 04

  Some of my kids, but listen, it's my wife and my kids, they have to choose what they wanna be.

• 33:36Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  They have to choose.

• 33:37Bill Maher?

  And you're okay with that?

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 33:39Bill Maher?

  That is not a point of view that is even allowed in many, many Muslim countries in the world. There is one religion, it is Islam, and-

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Well, I believe that.

• 33:50Bill Maher?

  They're not big on like, hey, you know what? Let's agree to disagree.

• 33:55Speaker 04

  All right, but listen, I'm not Allah.

• 33:57Bill Maher?

  I know, I'm just saying, that's something you're allowed to do here as an American Muslim.

• 34:03Speaker 04

  No, I learned from experience, I'm not gonna stop their growth from something that my growth is extending with.

• 34:09Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  I'm grown with it, but that's not their growth.

• 34:12Bill Maher?

  I'm just pointing out that this enlightened point of view is not found uniformly around the world. You know, you said America's the greatest. That's one reason why, the thing that's still great about America is that you can have that point of view.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  You'd be surprised how many Muslims wanna come in and think that we, the way we think.

• 34:29Bill Maher?

  Oh, I'm sure they do. Oh, I'm not surprised.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  You'd be surprised.

• 34:33Bill Maher?

  I'm not.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  And with this, and all those guys in Iran and stuff, you'd be surprised.

• 34:40Bill Maher?

  Of course. And women who don't wanna wear the fucking, you know, whatever the thing that looks like a cover of a motorboat.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  Well, there are some people, some people are more modest than other people. I wish I had the, I wish I had the, um, I wish I would have the dignity to be that modest.

• 35:00Bill Maher?

  Modest?

• 35:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:02Bill Maher?

  Why do you say that's modest?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Because they believe in covering themselves.

• 35:05Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  And I'm like you said, I gotta be, don't have much money, I gotta be in this cheap ass plane with all these people and talking to these people.

• 35:14Bill Maher?

  This one thing, modest is one thing, completely covering a woman so you don't see any of her? That's not modest, that's pathological.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  Suppose she's happy with that?

• 35:24Bill Maher?

  She's not, oh my god, she's not happy with it. I mean, you can brainwash someone into liking anything. It's like, oh.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  What's that called again? My kids always they ask me whether the Stockholm drifts.

• 35:35Bill Maher?

  Stockholm syndrome, you can't say that, see?

• 35:37Speaker 04

  My kids and my mother, my wife got Stockholm syndrome.

• 35:41Bill Maher?

  So you, your kids, how old are your kids?

• 35:43Speaker 04

  They go from thirty-three to eleven.

• 35:46Bill Maher?

  Okay, so, and you, I'm sure you have times when you're with all of them.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 35:50Bill Maher?

  And I'm, I'm wondering what the discussion is like. Is it a lot of real shit? I'm sure it is. Like, it's like this kind of stuff. I know, but, but, but you talk about, I mean, there's nothing that's off limits, right?

• 36:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 36:03Bill Maher?

  You talk about sex with your kids, you talk about religion, right, your past.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, everything.

• 36:08Bill Maher?

  What do they say? Daddy, I saw YouTube, you were with this super fly.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  No, they go like this. And this is my kid, and I have a thirteen, what was wrong with you, dad? Dad, why would you say something like that?

• 36:21Bill Maher?

  No, but they must be very proud of you. Come on, they're Mike Tyson's kids.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  They do, but my kids, my daughter's like one of these intellect kids, and she's like, why would you say something like that?

• 36:29Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  I mean, it's curious, how old were you then? It's just ridiculous.

• 36:34Bill Maher?

  But all of us in our twenties are idiots. You can't, yours just happens to be on tape and in front of the world. But we're all that way in our twenties, you know? It's what's so frustrating about youth, that we were the same way, is that you wanna tell youth you don't know anything yet, but because they don't know anything yet, they can't understand why that's real.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  You know what, the youth feels so good, you know what?

• 36:58Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  This feels so good, why would I listen to old motherfucking kids feel like this?

• 37:03Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 37:36Speaker 05

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• 38:05Speaker 03

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• 38:35Bill Maher?

  You became a Muslim when you...

• 38:37Speaker 04

  No, I was Muslim before with the prison.

• 38:38Bill Maher?

  Even before prison?

• 38:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it glamorized me, though, being Muslim in prison.

• 38:42Bill Maher?

  By the way, I never thought you committed that crime.

• 38:45Speaker 04

  Hey, listen, I appreciate that, brother.

• 38:46Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, not that it's important.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  No, but no, it is. But listen, know what I learned? It was the best thing that happened for me. It was a great learning experience.

• 38:54Bill Maher?

  But you know what? When, back in the day, when this subject, because you're very famous, would come up in conversation and people would want to know my opinion, I'd always say, "I don't think that was rape. I think what Mike did was had sex with someone consensually and then wasn't nice enough after."

• 39:10Speaker 04

  No, but listen...

• 39:11Bill Maher?

  And maybe you're guilty of that.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, but no, I...

• 39:14Bill Maher?

  And then someone gets angry.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  I'm guilty because of things I've done and got away with before that was grimy.

• 39:20Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  And, yeah, that's what happened. And that was just a wake-up call.

• 39:25Bill Maher?

  I mean...

• 39:25Speaker 04

  That's things that I did do were bad to women, disrespectful. That I got away with, that I never got to complain with. And this was one that it showed up...

• 39:35Bill Maher?

  That's kind of karma.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's karma. I believe in karma, so my friends say karma is bullshit.

• 39:39Bill Maher?

  I don't believe in that either.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  They believe in karma. My friends say, "A little kid gets molested, how's that karma?"

• 39:46Bill Maher?

  But I was telling you a million years ago, why December 25th is not only Jesus's birthday, but the birthday of many gods in that Mediterranean world before Jesus. They grafted that...

• 40:03Bill Maher?

  December 25th onto his biography for a reason. Because they were trying to sell a new product. And it was familiar to people. And it originated that way because the winter solstice is December 21st. Right? This is three days after the winter solstice.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  So what are you saying about Jesus? That's all I want to hear your opinion about Jesus. That's pretty much what I'm trying to listen to. It's coming along, but it's coming along really intellectually.

• 40:31Bill Maher?

  I'm just gonna say why it's December 25th. It's interesting. It's four days after the winter solstice. Before there was science. On December 21st, it's the shortest day of the year. The days keep getting shorter. The people were like, oh my God, life is gonna end. Every day gets shorter. December 25th is the first day they can notice that the days are getting longer again. So it turned into a celebration day. And that's why Jesus is on December 25th. What? Aren't you glad I finished that?

• 41:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, but didn't Santa Claus, wasn't Santa Claus the mushroom dude?

• 41:05Bill Maher?

  Santa Claus, Jesus, it's all the same thing. Anyway, what is my opinion of Jesus? Oh. Well, as a philosopher, he did do some revolutionary things. The meek shall inherit the earth was really revolutionary. Of course bullshit also because they don't. But.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  But what do you define as the weak?

• 41:26Bill Maher?

  The meek. That was his famous quote.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  What do you define as the meek though?

• 41:30Bill Maher?

  Well, the meek, the meek are, you know, certainly not the ballers and movers and shakers and egomaniacs and the, you know, the people who run the world. Not the Alexander the Greats. Alexander the Great wasn't meek. How could he? You're not meek. You know, the meek.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  Some meek people disguise them meek with masculinity.

• 41:56Bill Maher?

  What do you mean?

• 41:57Speaker 04

  Some people who are, who we say are meek, they see their circumstances, so they hide that with masculinity to accomplish their goals.

• 42:07Bill Maher?

  Like, give me a specific example of that, like who?

• 42:11Speaker 04

  Say I'm a weak guy, right, and I'm looking around, everybody, they're following this particular lifestyle, this guy has to be a gladiator, this guy has to be tough. So I mask myself in that, in the toughness, I'm a tough guy now. You know, it just goes, look at a guy like me, listen, a guy like me, no, look at me.

• 42:29Bill Maher?

  You're saying this is you in this analogy?

• 42:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is, it is, and it is me in a way.

• 42:33Bill Maher?

  You see yourself as a meek person?

• 42:35Speaker 04

  No, I look at myself as a guy that got my ass kicked and abused as a kid and picked on. And so what do you call that, you call that? I never thought I could fight till somebody told me to fight. I never, I used to get beat up all the time and abused all the time. Yeah, then one day my friend said, "Fight him."

• 42:52Bill Maher?

  You got beat up?

• 42:53Speaker 04

  Absolutely, all the time, probably I'm 11 years old.

• 42:56Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 42:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:58Bill Maher?

  But then, that's probably because you didn't, you weren't big enough, you were being beaten up.

• 43:02Speaker 04

  No, listen, I was this size at 12.

• 43:04Bill Maher?

  You were?

• 43:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was that, yeah, I was this size.

• 43:07Bill Maher?

  Well, 12, see, that's the everything change for you.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, everything changed at 12, yeah.

• 43:10Bill Maher?

  Oh, really?

• 43:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:12Bill Maher?

  So, I remember seeing all those documentaries, and you'd always be up there with the pigeons. And, you know, as an animal lover, I kind of love that.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  This is an interesting, this is an interesting phenomenon, because pigeon guys, it becomes a part of their soul, we have birds and we don't even know why we have them. We have other people taking care of them, we just have to have our birds.

• 43:35Bill Maher?

  Who does?

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Pigeon people.

• 43:37Bill Maher?

  Oh, pigeon people, yeah.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:39Bill Maher?

  Oh, there's others?

• 43:40Speaker 04

  All over the world.

• 43:41Bill Maher?

  Is that right?

• 43:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:43Bill Maher?

  The only one I've ever heard of was you.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  No, since the beginning of time.

• 43:48Bill Maher?

  I've heard of falconers, you know, that's a big thing, where they land on them.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Well, they use them because, that's during the Crusades, when they had the messenger pigeons, so the Arabs shoot the falcon, they grab the pigeons, and they can see where their plans are, and they can retract them down and to lean.

• 44:07Bill Maher?

  But pigeons, what is it about the pigeon as opposed to other flying things that shit everywhere?

• 44:14Speaker 04

  Know what it is, it's just that, this is what crazy, they need you to protect them. Most people that fly pigeons, like, they got the image of a tough guy.

• 44:25Bill Maher?

  Because of you.

• 44:26Speaker 04

  No, no, as a little kid, if you flew some birds, you better not mess with them. I got most pigeon flying guys are like tough guys. Because if I'm a little kid, I got birds, I can go there and take my birds.

• 44:37Bill Maher?

  So you followed in that tradition?

• 44:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:40Bill Maher?

  Yeah, and something, it's like, maybe it's like you're this tough guy, but you want to show your gentle side. And you can do it with a, do you pet them? You, because birds are very dirty, aren't they?

• 44:52Speaker 04

  They're cleaner than us. That's what they do all day is clean themselves.

• 44:56Bill Maher?

  Birds are cleaner than us?

• 44:57Speaker 04

  That's all they do is clean themselves.

• 44:59Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 44:59Speaker 04

  That's all they do all day is clean themselves.

• 45:01Bill Maher?

  Could you talk to them about the shitting, though? Because I feel like it's just so much.

• 45:07Speaker 04

  This is what you need to know. We're talking about ancient times again. Ancient time pigeons shit with the manure of the world. That's what.

• 45:14Bill Maher?

  I feel it is still in the manure of the world. There's a lot of it.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  I think pigeons shit on you is good luck. People that fly pigeons can't wait. Their friends come up the first day they get shitted on. And we're like, fuck, I'm up here for 10 years, I don't get shitted on. You get shit on your first day.

• 45:27Bill Maher?

  But it is like they have permanent diarrhea, you know? I mean, it's, I don't know.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  It's because they eat so much. You know what else? Their shit is like acid. If it goes in your car, it eats right through your cars. Yeah, it's like acid.

• 45:39Bill Maher?

  Bird shit is like acid?

• 45:40Speaker 04

  It's like acid, yes.

• 45:42Bill Maher?

  Huh, wow. You ought to do a science show. Mike Tyson, the Science Guy.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  On birds, I know.

• 45:49Bill Maher?

  No, and a lot of things, you know, do your history and, but, okay, so, um, the fight. So, who is this guy? Jake Paul?

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:00Bill Maher?

  Who is he?

• 46:01Speaker 04

  He's sensational. What are you talking about? You don't know who he is?

• 46:04Bill Maher?

  I know the name and I should know more and I apologize, but.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  He's a, he's like, um.

• 46:08Bill Maher?

  Treat me like an idiot.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  I don't even look at him the way people say, I can't even say what they call him.

• 46:15Bill Maher?

  He's a, but he's not a fighter?

• 46:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's a fighter.

• 46:17Bill Maher?

  So he's a fighter?

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, but, um, they don't want to credit him as being a fighter, though.

• 46:22Bill Maher?

  Why?

• 46:22Speaker 04

  He's fucking, fucking white with blue eyes and blonde hair, okay? I don't know, but there's, you know, they don't. You know, white people hate blue eyes and blonde hair. Everybody wants to kill him. You know, that's just the, that's what he, but he can fight. That's what, that's his thing, you know? Everybody wants to kick his ass. Don't care, every national, he wants to kick his ass.

• 46:41Bill Maher?

  Kick this guy's ass?

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, everybody wants to kick his ass.

• 46:43Bill Maher?

  Why? Because he's just some.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  He pisses everybody off.

• 46:47Bill Maher?

  Because he's the looking and?

• 46:48Speaker 04

  That too, but he's a great salesman.

• 46:50Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 46:51Speaker 04

  Great, great, great salesman.

• 46:53Bill Maher?

  Okay, so there would be massive interest if you fought him.

• 46:56Speaker 04

  Promoter, he's a great promoter, he doesn't even know it. He's just naturally a great promoter.

• 47:01Bill Maher?

  And what would the fight look like in your eyes when you picture it?

• 47:06Speaker 04

  It'll be fun.

• 47:11Bill Maher?

  A fun fight?

• 47:12Speaker 04

  He's a beautiful guy, yeah.

• 47:14Bill Maher?

  Because, why? Because it would be so easy for you to?

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Nothing's easy. I'll never look at this gonna be easy, I don't look at life like that, no.

• 47:23Bill Maher?

  See, you know what else I worry about as I talk to you? And I used to see you quite often at our friend Jeff Green's parties, you know? And you were always in a good mood, you know, when we were at a party. But you seem to have a calmness and a true happiness now. I worry about being this focused, centered, happy in life, and then going into the boxing ring. Because maybe what helps you in the boxing ring is being angry, right?

• 47:49Speaker 04

  No.

• 47:50Bill Maher?

  No, like I said, that's a terrible theory.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  The projection that you are angry is the whole objective. It's all an act. Boxing is an act too. It's just physical. It's all psychological. I gotta get under his skin. Maybe I should hit on his wife, something like that. It's all about psychological. And then after you do all that stuff, you piss him off, and it's over, hey, I love you, brother. It's all good. It's all strategy before you even get in the ring.

• 48:17Bill Maher?

  It sounds like what you're saying is like, you know, I know in many sports, if you just compared the athletes on a strictly physical level, you can't really tell which one would be the real champion. I mean, there were many athletes who could jump as high as Michael Jordan and, you know, do some of the physical things, but he had a mental toughness.

• 48:39Speaker 04

  The willingness and the determination to succeed everybody.

• 48:43Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  The willingness to sacrifice. You only do that by sacrifice. Only sacrifice can make you the best in the world. Nothing else. You have to sacrifice.

• 48:51Bill Maher?

  Well, certainly in your game.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  Every game.

• 48:54Bill Maher?

  Yes, but you don't wanna go, I mean, you don't wanna go into the ring flabby. You know, you have to be...

• 49:02Speaker 04

  You have to have an ego. Like, I always, I didn't, I'm a heavyweight. I used to just watch the old fighters. They were always ripped. I just wanted to look like the old time fighters. Always ripped. You look like you hit a fight, you know? I never wanted to be the flabby guy.

• 49:15Bill Maher?

  And, you know, Muhammad Ali. Fought when he was flappy sometimes. I remember Howard Cosell. There's three rolls of fat now where there were once two.

• 49:25Speaker 04

  Uh, he just so beautifully degraded.

• 49:28Bill Maher?

  I know, but he got punched too much.

• 49:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, I agree with that.

• 49:31Bill Maher?

  In shape. You know what I'm saying?

• 49:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, but because he was, he out tough guys. He was tough. When you're tough in this sport, it's not a tough man's sport. It's a thinking man's sport. At the end of his career, he got tough. He was taking punches.

• 49:46Bill Maher?

  I think it's both. I think you, I think like it, like the elite level of anything. You have to have like a, a, it's like, you know, three lemon, three sevens in a row. Like basketball, you have to be smart, high basketball IQ. You have to have crazy skills and you have to be tall.

• 50:05Speaker 04

  Tall, you have to be tall.

• 50:06Bill Maher?

  If you're five nine and have the first two, fantastic. Good luck in your backyard. But to be, and I think at your, in your game, you have to be very tough. You know, smart and skilled. You gotta get all three.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Check it out. I'm five ten. I crush the world to my feet.

• 50:22Bill Maher?

  Five ten?

• 50:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah. So that's perfect for a boxer. You don't want to be too tall, right?

• 50:26Speaker 04

  I agree. Like twenty six, five eleven, six foot, perfect.

• 50:31Bill Maher?

  Right. And then your uppercut.

• 50:33Speaker 04

  It's perfect.

• 50:34Bill Maher?

  Puts their chin bone into their skull.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  It's just that you're short and it's harder to hit. A big target is easier to hit than that.

• 50:41Bill Maher?

  So, you know, just as a weekend warrior, the, the, I have a basketball thing here. I play every day. I, there's something about watching the ball, shoot, go through your hoop. It's like the likes, you know? It's like I get a like in my brain every time the ball goes in.

• 50:57Speaker 04

  It's like magic. How do I, how do, how am I focusing this ball? How am I navigating this ball in that little hole?

• 51:05Bill Maher?

  Uh, right.

• 51:07Speaker 04

  How am I able to do something like that? That's almost impossible when you think about it.

• 51:11Bill Maher?

  I always, I, you know, I had the same thought. Like if you had never seen anyone shoot a basketball and they were 20 feet away, you would think, oh, you'd get that one out of a thousand times.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Somebody could do it all day.

• 51:22Bill Maher?

  All day.

• 51:23Speaker 04

  Larry Bird could do it all day.

• 51:25Bill Maher?

  Lots of guys can do it all day.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  All day.

• 51:27Bill Maher?

  The record for number of free throws in a row is something like 1400. Uh, not in games, of course. This is like somebody, but they still did it.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  Um, Chaiman did a hundred in one game.

• 51:40Bill Maher?

  But.

• 51:40Speaker 04

  Hundred points.

• 51:41Bill Maher?

  When you.

• 51:43Bill Maher?

  Land a good punch. Is that the same as when the ball goes through the hoop? It's just like a, oh, I must feel good.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  The best punch in the world is when you don't feel it.

• 51:56Bill Maher?

  You don't feel it.

• 51:57Speaker 04

  No, when you feel like you missed a guy and the guy's out dead, that's the best punch. I don't know why.

• 52:02Bill Maher?

  Well, you don't mean dead, you mean.

• 52:04Speaker 04

  No, yeah, he's out.

• 52:05Bill Maher?

  Tired.

• 52:06Speaker 04

  No, he's out cold.

• 52:07Bill Maher?

  Cold, yes.

• 52:08Speaker 04

  You count a hundred, you count a thousand, he's not getting up.

• 52:11Bill Maher?

  I'm just saying, you're not wishing that he was dead.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  No, no, that's just boxing terminology.

• 52:16Bill Maher?

  You're not Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  That's painful to see, right?

• 52:21Bill Maher?

  That trial?

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:22Bill Maher?

  Very.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  No, serious, no, that's very painful.

• 52:25Bill Maher?

  I was talking about on my show last week and I said it's literally the definition of a tragedy. Because a tragedy is when the tragic character has this tragic flaw. And because of the tragic flaw, it's inevitable that he's going to go to his doom.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  Exactly, but no, you know, people are beating up on the girl, right? But I understand her too.

• 52:49Bill Maher?

  Who knows what happens inside that relationship? But what do you understand about Amber?

• 52:54Speaker 04

  I understand that she's defending herself. She's fighting for her life.

• 53:01Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  And in fact, a lot of she thinks everybody's against her because she's not getting a good rep. She's not looking good in the press.

• 53:07Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, and there's also, we have to acknowledge the possibility that she could be flat out lying. People do lie. I mean.

• 53:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 04

  But like you said, it's tragic, right?

• 53:18Bill Maher?

  Tragic, yes.

• 53:19Speaker 04

  You see love turn into that.

• 53:22Bill Maher?

  Well, it's tragic because.

• 53:24Speaker 04

  What love is, I guess, supposed to be.

• 53:27Bill Maher?

  Must have known, he had one trial already in London, which he lost. He must have known that a second trial would completely ruin his career forever. Because there's just too much in people's heads about this now. And it went on too long. And he wasn't at an age where you want to start new. And yet he couldn't stop himself from pursuing this because he had to clear his name.

• 53:52Speaker 04

  Check this out.

• 53:53Bill Maher?

  He does not, I don't think he possibly.

• 53:56Speaker 04

  Now, my life is, what do you want?

• 53:59Bill Maher?

  What?

• 54:00Speaker 04

  Like with my relationships, what do you want? Take it all.

• 54:03Bill Maher?

  Oh, you mean if you were in a divorce?

• 54:05Speaker 04

  No, in all my relationships, take it all.

• 54:08Bill Maher?

  Take it all to who?

• 54:09Speaker 04

  Whatever, the finances, whatever you want, you just take it all.

• 54:12Bill Maher?

  You're saying when you get into a discrepancy, that's your negotiating position?

• 54:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, you take it all.

• 54:17Bill Maher?

  Right, because you just don't want to fight.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  It's just, um, it's just, I don't like that tragic stuff when two people love each other and now it's they hate each other.

• 54:26Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  If, if it is like that, let's do that privately, there's no, you know?

• 54:31Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  That's just what I believe.

• 54:33Bill Maher?

  And that's what I'm saying, what, the tragedy is neither one of them is going to work because she will always be the girl who pooped in the bed. I mean, she could be the greatest actress in the world, it doesn't matter. It's like you can't, when she comes on screen, you'll think poop in bed. All you'll see is you, Amber shit bed, that's, that's just, it's not.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  Cry for them, right? You're like, what the fuck?

• 54:57Bill Maher?

  Cry for them is a little, uh, beyond my.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  From a human perspective.

• 55:01Bill Maher?

  No, it is, no, I, I.

• 55:03Speaker 04

  You look at them and you say, what the fuck?

• 55:04Bill Maher?

  No, I'm.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  Do they have kids?

• 55:06Bill Maher?

  No.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  Oh, God, thank God.

• 55:09Bill Maher?

  They got, I mean, look, he was married for like fifteen years, or not married, you know, effectively married to someone who, they lived in France, they had two kids, they seemed very happy. And then he did a movie in two thousand and nine with Amber. And, you know, a movie set is like Temptation Island. Did you ever see the show Temptation Island?

• 55:32Speaker 04

  I've been on a bunch of sets before.

• 55:35Bill Maher?

  But Temptation Island?

• 55:36Speaker 04

  No, yes, a set, I, it's been a movie sets and I see what happens on movie sets.

• 55:40Bill Maher?

  Right. But I'm saying in Temptation Island, they have like couples who have been together for four or five years and then they put them with all these other singles on an island away from each other because they're tempted. And a movie set is just like that, except not only is the wife a continent away and now you're on this island, a movie set with this hot person, but they're actually are writing a script for you to fall in love with her. You don't even have to do the work, it says right there, Tuesday, kiss her all day long, you know?

• 56:12Speaker 04

  But listen. As a group, it all comes back from that Roman stuff. A group of persons, it's all sex, you know what I mean? It's sex-inspired, that's who we are.

• 56:23Bill Maher?

  Everything does come from Rome. I mean, a lot from Western civilization.

• 56:27Speaker 04

  Rome and Egypt.

• 56:30Bill Maher?

  Egypt less so, but...

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Well, listen, can't find out how many pyramids are in this country.

• 56:36Bill Maher?

  Pyramids?

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:37Bill Maher?

  Well, there's the one in Vegas.

• 56:38Speaker 04

  Tons of them.

• 56:39Bill Maher?

  Really? Pyramids?

• 56:40Speaker 04

  And the one in Vegas is still not bigger than the one in Giza.

• 56:43Bill Maher?

  I know, but the pyramid is not something that you'd have to be Egyptian to think of. I'm sure people all over the world thought, oh, look, pointy at the top and bigger at the bottom. It's not like...

• 56:52Speaker 04

  There's pyramids in Mexico, there's pyramids all over the world.

• 56:55Bill Maher?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  There's a pyramid in Bosnia.

• 56:58Bill Maher?

  Yes, because everyone thinks of a pointy thing with, you know, bigger at the bottom. It's like a natural...

• 57:03Speaker 04

  I think it's something at the house of worship.

• 57:05Bill Maher?

  Bullet bras?

• 57:07Speaker 04

  I don't know, I think they always, it comes down to a house of worship.

• 57:11Bill Maher?

  What comes down to a house of worship?

• 57:12Speaker 04

  Pyramid.

• 57:13Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, it certainly has been used in worship. You know, the people do think there's something mystical. It's on the back of one of our...

• 57:21Speaker 04

  Dollars, eh?

• 57:22Bill Maher?

  Dollars, isn't it? Like, what's it doing on American money? You're right, it's everywhere.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  Because, um, we believe, our power, our power system believes that's the way life should be. Roman and Egypt, we have a fixation with that.

• 57:38Bill Maher?

  I mean, there is another, I think there's another Egyptian, you're right, Egyptian thing on the money. But a lot of this is because, you know, all these cultures, I mean, we did come, I mean, Roman culture then spawned European culture, which then spawned America. So we do trace more back to Rome. But they were all, you know, mingling with each other. I mean, look at, uh, Mark Antony married Cleopatra, right?

• 58:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:07Bill Maher?

  And Caesar fucked her too.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:10Bill Maher?

  They were like the Kennedys, sharing Marilyn Monroe.

• 58:13Speaker 04

  But it's, but it all comes down to the power of her. They all fucking Cleopatra. That's the power, though. You know, everybody say, oh, she's getting fucked, but that's the power.

• 58:24Bill Maher?

  Do you think she had the power?

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Absolutely, she had the strongest men in the world at her, at her feet.

• 58:29Bill Maher?

  What do you think? You think Cleopatra was like, great-looking or it was something else?

• 58:33Speaker 04

  No, she was horrible-looking.

• 58:35Bill Maher?

  Cleopatra was horrible-looking?

• 58:36Speaker 04

  She was a monster.

• 58:37Bill Maher?

  How do you know this? You know what fucking Cleopatra was like?

• 58:41Speaker 04

  Well, listen, what's, um... She had a, she had a tomb. People looked at her through the thing. She was, she had a bent nose. She was really unattractive.

• 58:51Bill Maher?

  So what, she just gave the most amazing head?

• 58:54Speaker 04

  No, she was the most intelligent.

• 58:56Bill Maher?

  Intelligent?

• 58:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. And you think- When she came to Julius Caesar, she was in a rug. And she boom, it was.

• 59:02Bill Maher?

  Yeah. She smuggles herself in the rug, yeah.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  She was smarter than everyone else.

• 59:07Bill Maher?

  So you think-

• 59:08Speaker 04

  If she wasn't, how'd she get the two strongest men in the world at her feet?

• 59:12Bill Maher?

  I bet you she was good looking.

• 59:14Speaker 04

  No, she was horrible looking.

• 59:15Bill Maher?

  Well, we don't know.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  To our standards.

• 59:19Bill Maher?

  But we don't, but they were-

• 59:20Speaker 04

  Look at it in your phone.

• 59:21Bill Maher?

  They were, look at it in my phone. How can I-

• 59:25Speaker 04

  Youtube thing.

• 59:27Bill Maher?

  Who took a selfie of Cleopatra?

• 59:29Speaker 04

  No, it's all over the world.

• 59:30Bill Maher?

  In 4 B.C.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  Listen, what is it, um, you can look up information.

• 59:37Bill Maher?

  I know, but you can't-

• 59:38Speaker 04

  She's an ugly bitch.

• 59:39Bill Maher?

  You cannot, we cannot know a Cleopatra looking.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 59:42Bill Maher?

  There was no photograph.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  She's an ugly bitch. An ugly bitch.

• 59:47Bill Maher?

  Mike, I will not sit here and have you denigrate Cleopatra.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  An ugly fucker. Yeah, she was related to Alexander the Great too. That was the bloodline stopped.

• 1:00:00Bill Maher?

  What's this? She-

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  She had the bloodline of Alexander the Great too.

• 1:00:05Bill Maher?

  She had the bloodline, how did she get Alexander's blood in her?

• 1:00:08Speaker 04

  Greeks. Greeks conquered-

• 1:00:11Bill Maher?

  One word. Greeks.

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  You really know the Greeks? She, um, she was Greek too.

• 1:00:16Bill Maher?

  Who was?

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  She was part Greek too, um, um-

• 1:00:19Bill Maher?

  Cleopatra?

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Cleopatra, yeah.

• 1:00:21Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, Greece and Rome, of course, grew up back-

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  Macedonia, they ruled everything.

• 1:00:28Bill Maher?

  Macedonia did not, well, Alexander the Great, of course, was Macedonian.

• 1:00:33Speaker 04

  And Philip, and Philip the Second.

• 1:00:35Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  Philip was the barbarian.

• 1:00:38Bill Maher?

  But Macedonia, even today, it's disputed as a, sort of a province of Greece or its own separate country. It is its own separate country now. But people don't all agree with that.

• 1:00:49Speaker 04

  And the Greeks considered them barbarians.

• 1:00:51Bill Maher?

  Yes. Yes, they were warriors. I mean, they were a little, sort of like Spartans of the north.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  Look how many things are named after him. Alexander this, Alexander this.

• 1:01:02Bill Maher?

  Yes. Yeah. No, I mean, he conquered the world, but he was dead by thirty-three.

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  Thirty-two, yeah.

• 1:01:11Bill Maher?

  Thirty-two. You know.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  I think his men wanted to go back and they poisoned him. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to keep conquering and conquering.

• 1:01:19Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  Because when he got to India and all the armies got together, his men were saying, no, let's not do it.

• 1:01:26Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  And he wanted to cross the river.

• 1:01:28Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  He kept walking down the river, but they kept following him.

• 1:01:31Bill Maher?

  That's your thing about it's never enough.

• 1:01:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:35Bill Maher?

  That's what you were saying about conquerors.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Never enough.

• 1:01:39Bill Maher?

  Never enough. So, listen, I gotta go, but.

• 1:01:42Speaker 04

  Don't go, man. Come on, man. This is bullshit, man. Hang out, man.

• 1:01:47Bill Maher?

  I know. I agree. But I know it seems like we're just sitting here, but they were actually taping it. That's the problem.

• 1:01:56Speaker 04

  Okay. Forgive me for my language. I just can't help this shit sometimes.

• 1:02:00Bill Maher?

  Okay. I can't tell you how appreciative I am that you would think enough of me to do this because you're the very hot property in media and, you know, I just really thank you so much, Mike.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  When I see you, I think of good. I think of when we were there with Jeff. I think we were having a good time. And that's all respect, man.

• 1:02:22Bill Maher?

  Well, we can do it again.

• 1:02:23Speaker 04

  Yes, I do agree.

• 1:02:24Bill Maher?

  Right?

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm going to see Jeff next month anyway.

• 1:02:28Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  I'm getting ready to move to Boca.

• 1:02:31Bill Maher?

  You might?

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, my kids, they playing tennis and golf. I'm moving to Boca. We got the house in there. We got the house in there.

• 1:02:38Bill Maher?

  Oh, you already did it?

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Bill Maher?

  Because Florida is attractive now. I mean, I go back and forth on Florida.

• 1:02:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:02:45Bill Maher?

  Yes, I almost, I look, I literally took a virtual tour of homes in Miami. I, look, I, sometimes you have to look reality stark in the face. And I was scared about, and still am, about the fires out here and other things, but mostly the fires. And I thought, oh, maybe I should go someplace. And people said, well, you know, Miami, they'll have hurricanes and you know.

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  They can't be, man.

• 1:03:09Bill Maher?

  I'm like, I'd rather drown than burn.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  But not Miami. You gotta be in Boca, West Palm Beach, because you're gonna get killed in Miami.

• 1:03:15Bill Maher?

  And there was a sense of freedom there. I mean, especially during COVID, you know? People, I liked it better in Florida, and I was not a COVID paranoid.

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  I was in St. Boston. Everybody was hugging and kissing each other and everything. Yeah, hell, yeah. If I didn't have COVID, then I'm never gonna catch it. Well, I was insane, boss. If I didn't catch it, and I'm never gonna catch COVID if I didn't catch it. Everybody hugging and kissing everybody and...

• 1:03:36Bill Maher?

  Oh, I mean, the inconsistency was insane. But I, I thought about Miami and then I realized, no, actually, at my age, by the time I felt like I was at home there, I would be dead. You know, I've been here forty years in California.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  If you go to Miami, that would energize you. No, you go to Miami, you go, whoa, I mean, you'd be like, whoa, you energize.

• 1:04:02Bill Maher?

  I'm too old to be energized. I just wanna be comfortable.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  That's what you believe. That's what you believe.

• 1:04:05Bill Maher?

  I'm brittle. No, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not brittle at all. I feel fucking great. And, but I'm just saying, you can't deny that, you know, as you go down the path of life, you know, you do get a little diminished in certain ways. If, if not, you'd still be the champion of the world, you know? I mean, so, you can only be, as I always say, when people say, "You look great for your age," is the part they don't say. That's, "You look great for your age." We don't look like we did when we were twenty.

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  Now, we're being serious now, so, life is just, um, look at it, do anything, but it's just a beautiful process of dying. As soon as you're born, the process begins.

• 1:04:48Bill Maher?

  A beautiful process of dying. Did you just make that up?

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Bill Maher?

  That's really profound.

• 1:04:53Speaker 04

  But that's what it is, though, right?

• 1:04:54Bill Maher?

  It, that's a, it's a fucking great way to look at it. Can I get my pessimistic head wrapped into it? Maybe. I mean, like this joint.

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  No, but you just think about it. We can't...

• 1:05:07Bill Maher?

  I mean, this clove cigarette.

• 1:05:10Bill Maher?

  I don't know what they're putting in these clothes lately, Mike, but it's fantastic. Anyway, all right.

• 1:05:17Speaker 04

  Don't, you all have got to do this.

• 1:05:19Bill Maher?

  Because Howie Mandel's here. I'd be rude.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  Howie's, I was just, like, we just watched him on television this day. Do you remember Howie Never Touches?

• 1:05:27Bill Maher?

  Watch Howie's thing and hang out.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  And Howie is still the same guy that he doesn't touch people.

• 1:05:31Bill Maher?

  Watch Howie. And then we'll get together after. We'll, we'll party.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  I gotta get home. My wife is right here.

• 1:05:36Bill Maher?

  And now we've got to get...

• 1:05:38Speaker 04

  That sounds good. That sounds good.

• 1:05:40Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, no. I gotta get home.

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  That's twenty-year-old guy stuff. Hey, man, let's just chill out.

• 1:05:44Bill Maher?

  Right. Quentin Tarantino, he stayed. We partied all night at my house.

• 1:05:49Speaker 04

  God, that was beautiful.

• 1:05:50Bill Maher?

  Well, some night. But you don't drink.

• 1:05:53Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:05:54Bill Maher?

  But you got the weed. That's enough.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  David, the weed, talk about weed.

• 1:05:58Bill Maher?

  Yeah, look at that fuck. Mike, gee, man. That's, you're not gonna do that all in one night.

• 1:06:04Speaker 04

  Well, hopefully I don't, but I will attempt to do. Look at the ears, come on, man, you gotta look at the Tyson. Mic bites, you gotta show that to the world.

• 1:06:11Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  I can't keep them in the store.

• 1:06:14Bill Maher?

  Mic bites.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  I brought you a bunch of stuff, man, I don't know why.

• 1:06:17Bill Maher?

  I rub them into my belly and I stick them up my ass. They're that good. Mic bites.

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  But you still, even when you stick them on your ass, you probably feel the high effect.

• 1:06:25Bill Maher?

  You know, it probably would work.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  Man, you feel good.

• 1:06:34Bill Maher?

  No, I'm telling you, I think the punch is the same. You can't run around, but if the guy just stood still.

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, that'd be problem. That'd be great, right, that'd be great.

• 1:06:50Speaker 03

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