#684 - Bad Haircut

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about getting a bad haircut, his midwestern road trip in a broken down camper, and thoughts on the Macklemore/Gaza controversy. He also responds to some of your voicemails and calls a young dad looking for guidance. ------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner @CelsiusOfficial https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Mail stuff to: ATTN: TPW PO BOX 40137 Nashville TN 37204 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend X: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. For 125 years, Nordstrom has been part of your story. The stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview. The first pair of walking shoes for your one year old. The tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe. These are the moments that make Nordstrom Nordstrom. Big or small, we're here for all of it. Celebrating 125 years with new moments still add. Discover it all in Nordstrom stores and at nordstrom.com.

• 0:31Theo Von?

  All, um, fuck, I don't know how to, you ever just don't even know how to start the day? Or a sentence or a

• 0:45Theo Von?

  relationship or anything? Does anybody else ever, do you have that? I don't know, just like, yeah, that's how, I'm just having that day. It's like, I don't know. Okay, y'all, yeah.

• 1:00Theo Von?

  Just, yeah, I don't, yeah, so. So when you can't start something, it's kind of weird. You just kind of have to dislike.

• 1:08Theo Von?

  It's almost like if you were watching a guy at a batting in a baseball game. He's in the batter's box and he just runs straight to second base. And people are like, okay. Then that's how it's going to begin. So, and that's how we're going to begin today, guys. Uh, without a beginning.

• 1:27Theo Von?

  Cause that's where we are. Um, it is the year 2026. Uh, I got a bad haircut. Not sure if anybody can even tell, to be honest with you. I'll show it to you.

• 1:41Theo Von?

  You can see it, it's just.

• 1:45Theo Von?

  You know, it looks Southern Amish is kind of, I think it has kind of a Southern Amish energy, which is, you know? Yeah, it's like, oh, you, you know, you churn your own butter and you churn your own sister, don't you? It's just like, you know, I think it can be alarming to people. It's alarming to me, that was it.

• 2:04Theo Von?

  And I think some people are like, well, dude, your hair, you know? Your hair generally looks like shit and that's fine, you know? But it's my, it's like, I don't know, the guy cut it away that I didn't want it. And so it just.

• 2:21Theo Von?

  You know, I'm okay if it looks like shit, if it's the way I want it to look like, if it's. If, as long as it's the way I want it to look like shit. You know, I'd said, and he was a nice guy, right? But I'd said, like, I'd want a half inch off. And the first thing he does is just rip two inches off of everywhere.

• 2:41Theo Von?

  And you're, if you're a guy like me who, you know, does, is an overall familiar with a lot of inches. You notice when you suddenly lose two of them bitches, dude. And so I was just like, I was in New York City and, you know, it's a time where I was like going to be out and about and walking around and like, yeah, I just got into like just haircut shame, dude, and frustration. I felt like even the birds wouldn't look at me. Do you ever have like that? Where you just like, even the fucking birds won't even, like even a stream, like if you're walking through a park, even the stream kind of flows the other way.

• 3:22Theo Von?

  It just like, that's the effect it had on me. I just like, I'm okay if I look like shit. It just, I want to look like the type of shit that I want to look like.

• 3:36Theo Von?

  And it fricking pissed me off. It fricking pissed me off, dude. And I don't get that angry much, but it pissed me off. And I just wanted to honestly, dude, I just wanted to pull my weener off and fucking, and just fucking just hum it into a, into a crowd of people. Just fucking skip that bitch. You know how people skip it across the lake? I just wanted to just skip that bitch right off the top of a crowd. Just bing, bing, bing, bing. Just hit a fucking bunch of people, even hit a fucking guy in a wheelchair or whatever. I don't give a shit. That's how, that's how I was feeling, dude. I don't care if it hits, hits a fucking woman or a Native American. I don't care. I don't care, or just somebody with braids. Let's just say that then.

• 4:20Theo Von?

  But I just, I, I don't know, it just like, I don't know. Now I'm feeling upset that I'm upset, but.

• 4:29Theo Von?

  So I, but for like a week, I was just dealing with like haircut shame, you know? And sometimes when I get angry, I wish my, cause like all my, like my angst, it just somehow it ends. There's this feeling and I want to detach, this sounds crazy, but I want to detach my weener and just hum that bitch out into a chorus or a crowd of people just singing in the street.

• 4:54Theo Von?

  And one of them just gets, they get clipped right in the jaw with it and they're like, what was that? Like, that's a D sharp bitch, okay? Get on tune, cuh.

• 5:05Theo Von?

  Cause shit, sometimes things suck and you just want to.

• 5:09Theo Von?

  You just want to throw your, I don't know why my, I just want to throw my weener at somebody. Yeah, and I'm sorry if I, and I'm sorry if that's offending some people. I don't, I don't care today, dude. I do not care today. I do care, but I'm saying I don't. Yeah, I've just always wanted that, I just always wanted my weener to come off of me. It just like, I don't know, sometimes it feels like that's where some of my madness lives.

• 5:39Theo Von?

  So, um. But you'd only be able to detach it when you're angry, right? It would only, that would be how, because otherwise guys would kind of take advantage of the situation. They'd be like some lazy guy would just be like, you know, he, he doesn't want to like get his dog a toy or something, so he would just, just keep throwing his weener down the, he'd just keep throwing that bitch down the street or whatever, and the dog would run and get it or whatever. But then the dog would escape with it one day.

• 6:09Theo Von?

  And that would be the tough part. And then you have to like kind of wander around town. You're like, yeah, have you seen, have you seen like an Australian shepherd with, with a small weener in its mouth?

• 6:21Theo Von?

  Anyway.

• 6:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, I'm just complaining about my haircut, so.

• 6:28Theo Von?

  And then dude, I made the mistake, I'll say this, of complaining about my haircut to a bald friend. Has anybody done, that's, do not do that, man.

• 6:39Theo Von?

  I call my buddy Shane, he's like, and I'm talking, I'm just like, dude, I'm fucking pissed, you know? And the hair cutter, he was nice, but he just, he did, like I told him. And then at the end, he's like, sorry, kind of my ego got the best of me. And I'm just like, you're, what are you, I have to wander around now looking like this? You know, and it's getting better, I agree.

• 7:04Theo Von?

  But I, I just looked like a cat, I don't know. I felt like a fucking cactus in a halfway house or something. I just.

• 7:12Theo Von?

  I don't know, I just felt like I fucking just wanted to rub methadone into my scalp. I just, it didn't feel good.

• 7:23Theo Von?

  But yeah, I call my bald friend, that's the worst idea. And halfway through the conversation, I realized, fuck dude, Shane is bald. And he's like, oh man, I hear you, dude. He's like, I remember, he's like, I remember we had a science project due. And I remember making this volcano and then I remember looking down at it and some of my hair had fallen out onto it. And he's like, and I was nine years old. I'm like, oh fuck, this is.

• 7:52Theo Von?

  This conversation is going to be longer than I expected. He's like, yeah, I remember my grandmother had a hairless cat and, um, and I was petting it and snuggling with it. And then one time I looked down and it, and it had hair on it. And it was my hair.

• 8:09Theo Von?

  And I was only 11. All right, uh, gotta go Shane.

• 8:16Theo Von?

  So that, so that conversation took a, hit a real cul-de-sac, you know? Cause I just, I don't know. It's just like, I don't know. And the guy didn't mean to do it.

• 8:30Theo Von?

  And it's, it is what it is. There's much, there's bigger things, there's bigger fish to fry. That's what they always say. There's bigger fish to fry than that. Are there fucking bigger fish to fry than that?

• 8:44Theo Von?

  So anybody who's ever had a bad haircut, man, that I just, I feel you, it hurts. Cause then you'll be talking to somebody and you'll see, you're looking them in the eyes and you see them glance one half of a degree up.

• 8:59Theo Von?

  And you're just like, oh, they fucking know what's going on.

• 9:05Theo Von?

  And you feel you're like, cuz you look like a fucking child. Because a child is the one who usually just cuts their own hair. And suddenly you're wandering around with just fucking with child hair.

• 9:25Theo Von?

  And you run a business or whatever, or you, people trust you to make their smoothie or whatever it is, or to babysit, or to be a nanny, or to bury their friends, or whatever.

• 9:37Theo Von?

  And they see your hair and they're like, fuck, man.

• 9:41Theo Von?

  It's just, it's crazy. An extra inch on the bangs and people lose all trust in you. On a man, on a male, on an adult male.

• 9:52Theo Von?

  And so sometimes I just wanna fucking take my weener off and fucking hum it right into the fucking galaxy.

• 10:01Theo Von?

  And see if Mother Nature will catch it in her fucking mouth cuz I'm, cuz sometimes I'm pissed off.

• 10:08Theo Von?

  So, and I'm sorry for that.

• 10:11Theo Von?

  In other news, uh, me and two of my buddies, my buddy Bizil and my buddy Zita, we rented a camper. And we just, we went up through Kentucky, um, Iowa, Illinois, and Michigan. And did a run there, probably drove about 3,000 miles. And the company that we rented from, uh, it's, it was called, right? And I don't know if it was the camper that we got, I mean, I guess it was. It was, like, every bump we hit in that thing, every little crack in the pavement, it was like, but dang, but dang, but dang, but dang.

• 10:55Theo Von?

  And you'd think the next bump, you're like, oh, it's not gonna make that sound again. You're like, but dang, but dang. And every bump we hit, dude, it turned into a nightmare. You would see like, like, the whole thing, it was like a bunch of kids had put it together. The night before, it was like a last minute school project that they put together with tape and hope and just gooning, right? It was like a bunch of high school kids had just put this thing together with fucking goon lube, right? It was just, every turn we would do was like, the fucking scream would fly across the room, or the windowsill would just jump out of a cabinet and just try to take its own life.

• 11:36Theo Von?

  Like, we lost probably 75 different bolts, uh, spoons, every bump you would hit or turn a spoon. Or just a flock of spoons would fucking fly through the air. I think they were heading to Florida or whatever cuz it's getting colder. It was a fucking nightmare, dude. It was a nightmare. There was like an ambulance following us at one point for no reason. Nobody called it, they just knew, they, they knew in their hearts. That we were not doing good, but dang, every bump we would hit a fucking, you'd hit it again and the light fixture would fall out of the fucking.

• 12:17Theo Von?

  The oven would turn on and immediately go to 7,000 degrees and just start sucking off a shower head in there or whatever. Nothing made, it just, everything in there.

• 12:29Theo Von?

  We left one third of that thing, we left on I-65 or I-40 or I don't give a fuck, we left that bitch everywhere. There were animals migrating into it, there were animals moving in and out of it. Um, there was like, some, something had been gestating in the back near the bed, there was AA meetings and there was like a halfway house group had moved in for a little while. Anyway, I'm just saying, it was a, it was a nightmare, dude. But we huddled up in the front and we made it through every single moment. We had towels stuffed in every little crevice in that thing.

• 13:09Theo Von?

  Do we put a, I mean, there wasn't all the blankets, any clothing we had brought, we had to use to stuff in a crack or in this. And the door would just, just like the whole time you were driving, it had a door and then a screen door. And then the screen door had like a little thing inside of it, like another screen door. And it just, they all just, I don't know if the whole thing was just screaming for help, I don't even know. It was like, say if somebody took a Autozone, right? And turned it upside down and put it in the back of your fucking car.

• 13:48Theo Von?

  And made you drive over 72,000 speed bumps for no reason at all. Anyway, with that said, it brought us closer together, I think, and, and physically it did because we had to all huddle in the front. Because we were just scared, dude, once that silverware drawer opened, it was just fucking.

• 14:09Theo Von?

  You'd hit one curve and a damn knife would fly right by you. Or two spoons would fly by through the air and they would just be doing it doggy style or whatever. You're like, what the fuck? It was a lot. Praise God, praise be to God. And thank you, God, for being with us. But with that said, man, we had a, we had a wonderful time.

• 14:32Theo Von?

  And we did get tetanus shots, just to make sure everybody was okay. But dang.

• 14:39Theo Von?

  Yeah, if you don't know what it was like, go home to your house, okay?

• 14:45Theo Von?

  Go home to your house, right? And open up, don't even open up the silverware drawer, open the drawer next to the silverware drawer, the one that just has the tongs and the fuck. And like the corn, like the corn cob holder and just like the hairspritz, like that one, that has tape. And pictures of missing children, the one that has like the BTK starter kit in it. The one that has like, all your grill, you, go to, go get that one that has batteries and fucking bad dreams in it. Go open that drawer at your house. And then slam your head into it 400, 200 times and 50 times, you little fucking piece of shit.

• 15:27Theo Von?

  And that is what it was like. But dang, but dang. Bro, there's no way, bro. The calcium loss alone from our bones, from just dealing with that, unbelievable. I'm sure I'll need cartilage work, but praise be to God that we made it through it. And we had a great time. We did get to go to the Field of Dreams baseball game. And that was versus Minnesota and the Phillies, and they gave me a hat, they gave me a Twins hat.

• 15:59Theo Von?

  And so that was nice.

• 16:02Theo Von?

  And we went fishing with my buddies up there in Wyoming, Illinois, up there, that was great. We saw a car show up there as well. My mother's from up there and we stopped up there and went fishing and I think we fished in like a, like a data center. Cooling pond or whatever. And I caught a bunch of old data, I caught some emails. I caught, I caught a couple of emails from a data leak from when they had that, um. What was the one where they busted the guy, uh, the religious guy or whatever? 17 children or whatever.

• 16:44Theo Von?

  Looking for hole or whatever, what was that place called?

• 16:47Speaker 02

  You talking about Ashley Madison?

• 16:48Theo Von?

  Yes. So we caught a, yeah, we just went fishing, it was a, you know, it was a data leak pond, you know, that's what, that, you know, a lot of runoff from these data centers. That's what we'll be fishing and eventually you'll just, you'll go fishing in a.

• 17:04Theo Von?

  In data runoff and you'll catch old episodes of shows or you'll catch a, you know, a data leak of, you know. And we caught some Ashley Madison emails.

• 17:16Theo Von?

  My buddy caught like a, it was like a, it was about probably a, like a three gigabyte Excel sheet.

• 17:25Theo Von?

  A spreadsheet, he caught that and, uh, and that might've been a pond record, I'm not sure. But, um, yeah, and I caught some other, we caught some shit we threw back, a couple of Seinfeld episodes that were on Blu-ray. Just some Seinfeld downloads, um, we'll be catching some old Vine episodes, just basic data, it's just data shit, you know. My buddy also caught a, um, I guess this, they had some MySpace pages and shit that we threw back. But yeah, had a good time over there and, um, yeah, then the Midwest, dude, we went ATV and that was great. And, uh, and in the end, we went ATVing over there in Michigan.

• 18:08Theo Von?

  And dude, I hadn't been ATV, and we got there and my buddy, he was like, uh, hey, man, I'm sorry, the track's all muddy. You know, it's been raining here. And we was out rural, we was out rural, out where, you know, goddamn, where there's just. Way out, out past all the basketball hoops, you know what I'm talking about, rural. Out in a place called Marcellus, Michigan. But there, you, I promise you weren't gonna find a dude named Marcellus around there.

• 18:39Theo Von?

  Um, but we were out there, dude, and we went ATV and my buddy's like, man, sorry, it rained a lot. Bro, we, it was so wet, dude, we just like, it was maybe one of the funnest things I'd ever done.

• 18:56Theo Von?

  Just hitting mud and we had some mud. It had so much stink in it. It was just like God had been just, just, just doo dooing in this mud. It just smelled like God had just been doo dooing in this mud. And when those tires would go through it just

• 19:15Theo Von?

  just the fucking bowels of Christ would open up and just hit you right in the fucking snout, honky. Anyway, uh, but that was great. And then one of the neatest things I ever got to do, man, I want to say this. We got to go on a cruise down the Chicago River through the downtown.

• 19:35Theo Von?

  We went right through the downtown, man. And we even, we stuck a cup out of the boat and even all hit a cup of water right there. This is like a commemorative moment and, uh,

• 19:46Theo Von?

  but dude, going through, I'd never gone through a huge city on a, on a, on a riverway. Man, it was, it was one of the neatest things I've ever gotten to do. If you ever get to do it, that's something I suggest.

• 20:01Theo Von?

  And then, yeah, we stopped at this random gas stations here and there and it was fun, man. Honestly, it was one of the best things that I got to do. Just, you know, just sheer joy because sometimes when things are ridiculous too.

• 20:17Theo Von?

  Uh, it makes it more fun, you know? It makes it more fun.

• 20:22Theo Von?

  And we just hit that corn, man. We went all through the corn areas, bro. Everybody in that bitch. They had steamed corn, corn on the cob, corn on your cousin. They had all of that shit. I was like, you got, you guys, you got any spinach? So like, we got green corn. I was like, alright, but

• 20:42Theo Von?

  so it was just like that, homie. Um, but yeah, it was, it was great. And, uh, I had a great time with my friends. Well, I'll, I'll put pictures on the YouTube if you get to look at that. So you can see some of it. And, um, yeah, that's what's going on. Uh, what else? In other news, uh, Macklemore was let go from the Ed Sheeran tour. I'm sure you guys heard about that. Um, he had spoken out on stage about Free Palestine. Uh, he'd spoken out about Gaza and the genocide happening. And he had played his song Heinz Hall and he'd had imagery on the screen of, of the atrocities that have been occurring over there.

• 21:28Theo Von?

  The Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, who owns Gillette Stadium, where the tour was eventually heading, uh, decided that he didn't want that sort of, uh, communication happening at, at his venue. And, uh, Macklemore was removed from the tour. As well, uh, Ed Sheeran's band dropped out. It's been a big fallout.

• 21:51Theo Von?

  And I've been thinking about it, kind of not even thinking, just kind of feeling about it, I guess, because

• 21:59Theo Von?

  you know, Macklemore lost his job because he spoke up, right? Because he said something, right? I mean, it feels like this is probably the biggest atrocity that, uh, that we've witnessed in our lifetime. Um, on our phones, right? Seeing the, the killings and the people getting murdered and the children getting killed and the weaponry and we had a doctor on who was talking about children getting shot right down through their bodies from drones. It's like the Israeli government, and I want to say the government, not the people of Israel. I'm not talking about them. I'm not talking about Jewish people. But the Israeli government has turned Gaza into like a video game, basically for killing people.

• 22:44Theo Von?

  You know, it's like, it's just, it's, it's this first person shooter. They have all this technology and, and, and, and more specifically the killing of children, right? I mean, the killing of children. And every time there's like Hamas is hiding, that, that's Hamas. And it's like, that's a four month old. What, how can, he can't even walk. He couldn't even walk into a Hamas office and sign up. You know, they're like, he's hiding or something. What is he hiding? He's hiding behind what? His own tears? Cause his, his mother is missing? Like, what are we even talking about sometimes?

• 23:24Theo Von?

  Like, I think that's what like, I don't know. It's just like, and, and we scroll past it, right? We scroll past it on our phones. I do it. I do it too.

• 23:36Theo Von?

  You know, just because there's like a new trend on TikTok or it's, you know, it's like, there's a new sale on this new hat or it's like, oh, have you seen this thing? This water filter gets, um, uh, leprosy out of your shower head or whatever. And you're like, alright, you know? Or there'll be a TikTok trend and it's like, you know, it's just like boosting bitches where y'all at? You know, or I need a ten piece lemon pepper Gaza city. What the fuck going? Bro, you can't even get a ten piece lemon pepper in Gaza. Because they stopped the fucking food shippings. They won't let any calories in there while they hunt down children.

• 24:19Theo Von?

  They killed every reporter who was trying to report on the war. Like, what are we even talking about sometimes?

• 24:28Theo Von?

  I don't know. I don't fucking even know. Sometimes I'm like, just what is going on?

• 24:35Theo Von?

  You know, and we see it on our phone. It's like, you just become immune to it. It's like, here's just another legless Arab kid that some family is babysitting now in Texas or

• 24:47Theo Von?

  and it's like a, I think it's like a test, you know? It's a test to see like, how much like uncomfort can we handle before we have, before we say something, right? Like, how mu- how uncomfortable can it be?

• 25:00Theo Von?

  And I'm not calling anybody out. Like, everybody's busy. People are just trying to survive, right? The cost of rent has tripled over the past seventy years or something. I think we saw like, not even that, fifty years. It's like tripled and the minimum wage has not kept up with it. It's like people are living in a spot where they're just trying to make ends meet. I get it, you know?

• 25:23Theo Von?

  But it does feel like we're under this weird test of like, how much pain can we witness?

• 25:31Theo Von?

  I mean, even Miss Rachel said something. Miss Rachel. Dude, big, I, somebody said that Big Bird said something, that he took his head off the other day and he's, he's just like, this shit's gotta stop, you know? But I just like, and I'm not judging anybody here. I'm just fucking, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I can't help but be alive.

• 25:53Theo Von?

  And like, I'm in this fishbowl and at least like, you just see the other fish around you are getting fucking murdered. And their families are not only getting murdered, but like the use of like fancy technol- like

• 26:09Theo Von?

  but then we, we just get placated. Something happens in society and we just, like, you know, the McRib comes back and we're like, oh, they

• 26:18Theo Von?

  the McRib is back. You know, where there's a new like Marvel, um, you know, with, you know, or Spider-Man's gay now or something like, oh, man. I can't barely digest my McRib because Spider-Man's dealing with so much, you know? Or there's another dunk contest or there's a, there's a, uh, they found a possum that fucking gave birth to a salmon somewhere. In Zaire or something and there's a picture of that, you know? Or someone saw a picture of like Mary of Nazareth in like a, in a piece of Texas toast somewhere and that takes over your feed and you're like, God, I want to eat that. I want to eat that thing, you know?

• 27:04Theo Von?

  And it's like, yeah, I don't know. It just like, I just don't even know what's going on some days, man. And if you think I'm crazy or whatever, that's fine. Like, I'm back, here's the crazy part. I'm back on my meds.

• 27:17Theo Von?

  I'm back on my meds and I, and like, and I'm not even fucking talking about anything. I just, like, at a certain point, you just, you're just like, what, what is going on? They're just killing kid every other day. They blew this kid up. Like, he was hiding or whatever. Like, that kid was hiding. Dude, there was a kid the other day. He was hiding behind his hands. He was playing hide and go seek.

• 27:43Theo Von?

  He was hiding behind his hands, counting to ten.

• 27:49Theo Von?

  And while the other kids ran to hide behind the bodies of their relatives, thankfully, there's enough bodies, slain bodies of their relatives where they can stack them up now so they can play hide and go seek behind them.

• 28:05Theo Von?

  And they have to play slowly and they can only play once every two weeks because they don't have enough calories in their body

• 28:13Theo Von?

  to play more than that. But the kid is fucking hiding behind his hands, counting to ten. And they're like, he's Hamas. And they fucking kill him.

• 28:27Theo Von?

  And people are like, well, and, and this is, this is the thing that I don't like. And, and people may have different views on that and that's okay. I don't need to have your view. I don't need you to have my view. I don't, I'm not a, you're right. I'm not an analyst. I don't know everything. And people are like, you don't know everything. You should stay. You're right. I don't. But I am a human being and I just, at a certain point, you can't fucking,

• 28:52Theo Von?

  you know, you're asking me to watch every scary movie that ever existed in a row constantly every day

• 29:00Theo Von?

  and not raise my hand and be like, hey, who owns this fucking theater? Where they're playing this shit?

• 29:17Theo Von?

  I don't know, man. I don't even know, uh...

• 29:22Theo Von?

  Yeah, and sorry to get upset or whatever. I got a bad haircut.

• 29:28Theo Von?

  And when you get a bad haircut, everything else comes out.

• 29:34Theo Von?

  You know? And it's not, I mean...

• 29:40Theo Von?

  My cousin said it's getting better, but...

• 29:45Theo Von?

  But, um... But, but, a- a- and this is one thing, right? Like... I think something that maybe some people don't understand, like these fancy people, these like... Like...

• 30:00Theo Von?

  That a lot of people are living in fear, right? A lot of people are living in fear, right? Because there's a country that has murdered like 20,000 children, right? I'm guessing. I'm sorry if I'm off. I don't know the exact numbers. You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know the exact number of children that were slaughtered. Right?

• 30:22Theo Von?

  But people are like, "Why do you care?" I don't know. I don't know why.

• 30:27Theo Von?

  I think it just, I- I- it's not a choice I'm making. It's just, you feel, like... I don't know.

• 30:36Theo Von?

  You know? I don't know. I can't, you can't help that you feel something, I guess? You know, because it feels scary, dude. That's the thing. I think some people... Well, I don't know what some people think or do. I don't know. It feels scary to me because there's a country that's killing like 20,000 children, right? And we're watching it. And that's a lot. Right? That's a lot.

• 31:02Theo Von?

  And they've taken over, this same country has has used a lot of like, um, tech companies and and scary technology in this in this, uh, war in Gaza, right? In this conflict in Gaza, they've used a lot of crazy technology. Some of those companies are now in bed with American surveillance, right?

• 31:33Theo Von?

  As well as the government of the country that has, that's a- as well as the fact that the government of the country that's done this is, seems to own our country. Right? So I'm just saying that seems scary. That if they'll kill the people right next to them, what would they do to people here? You know what I'm saying? So it's not a crazy, like, maybe it is crazy. Maybe, or maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am crazy to think that

• 32:11Theo Von?

  there's a country that's killing a bunch of children that I'm watching on my phone.

• 32:17Theo Von?

  And that country seems to kind of, I don't know, I don't know everything, you're right. Seems to own a lot of our country and a lot of our politics. Or have the control over them. And the same

• 32:34Theo Von?

  companies that are doing the technology that's part of the murdering in Gaza are some of the same companies that have contracts in our country. Um, surveillance and technology contracts.

• 32:52Theo Von?

  And so if they would kill their people right next door to them, it's just, you get scared.

• 33:01Theo Von?

  You know, because if they, if that government comes here, what will they do to us?

• 33:10Theo Von?

  You know? That's the thing. That, it's just like, it gets real scary.

• 33:16Theo Von?

  But the McRib is back.

• 33:21Theo Von?

  The McRib is back and Halloween's right around the corner. And there's a court case on TV where a woman killed some of her kids, was accused of killing some of her children. And people will, like, are obsessed with that, but meanwhile, and that's fine, right? And that's fine to people. But meanwhile, the other 20,000 something or whatever children, I don't know the exact number, you're right, my bad.

• 33:52Theo Von?

  The other countless thousands of children that are being killed on my phone, that, that is, that's...

• 33:58Theo Von?

  That, you can't talk about that.

• 34:02Theo Von?

  So that, I don't know, i- i- if you think, yes.

• 34:06Theo Von?

  It's, it all, it all feels like a lot. I think that's what I'm saying, man. It all feels like a lot.

• 34:14Theo Von?

  It all feels like a lot, dude.

• 34:21Theo Von?

  But the McRib is back.

• 34:25Theo Von?

  And you know that shit's hype, bro.

• 34:29Theo Von?

  I need a 10-piece lemon pepper Gaza City.

• 34:33Theo Von?

  Let them get one 10-piece lemon pepper into the kid, cut? Let them get one 10-piece lemon pepper into the kids.

• 34:44Theo Von?

  They, the fucking ki-

• 34:47Theo Von?

  Is that too much to ask? To get a 10-piece lemon pepper? Into the children of Gaza?

• 34:56Theo Von?

  Come on, Yang. Come on, Yang.

• 35:01Theo Von?

  It's just all, it's all, it's a lot. It's confusing. I'm not saying, I'm, and I'm part, I'm part of, I scroll past stuff sometimes. It's too much. And I know it's a lot for everybody. I'm not saying anything to anybody. I'm not saying you need to do anything. I'm just like, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying because this is where I say shit sometimes.

• 35:24Theo Von?

  I think. You know? I don't know.

• 35:28Theo Von?

  And if it feels like I'm pointing fingers at you, yeah, I'm not trying to do anything like that.

• 35:34Theo Von?

  You know, I just like... I don't know. Sometimes I just have to talk about how I'm feeling and sometimes there's just nobody really to fucking talk about it to.

• 35:45Theo Von?

  Or there is, but it's like, I don't know.

• 35:49Theo Von?

  You know, this is what we've always done here, so. Praise be, man, um...

• 35:56Theo Von?

  Yeah, and God, thank you just for letting me exist. I know that there's suffering. There's always been suffering, right? There's always been suffering. And thank you for giving me just a place to exist today.

• 36:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, thank you for just giving me food, shelter.

• 36:17Theo Von?

  Yeah. It's just a lot, man. And it's painful sometimes, you know?

• 36:24Theo Von?

  And it's just like, I don't know. And sometimes I think it's just like how we operate, like, or how I operate as a person.

• 36:31Theo Von?

  You know, it's like...

• 36:35Theo Von?

  I don't know. You, it would just seem like we're better than this. And I think it's okay to be scared. And I don't give a fuck.

• 36:43Theo Von?

  You know, I do...

• 36:48Theo Von?

  I do, but I just like... I don't know.

• 36:54Theo Von?

  I don't like the fucking McRib.

• 36:59Theo Von?

  I'll say this, man. It makes me think when I was a kid, uh...

• 37:04Theo Von?

  And, and, and look, and I understand, like, I can say some stuff that people can't say because my job isn't at risk. I work for myself. I'm sure it probably is at risk somehow, I'm sure. Um, but I don't know that, you know, and, um... But it just gets scary to think that we could get into a place where you're not allowed to go, like, like, i- i- like, would somebody be allowed to go to a Patriots game if they, um... Support, uh, Palestine? Like... Like, are they gonna start, like, running an optical test on somebody to make sure that they...

• 37:38Theo Von?

  You know? Like, yeah, see you in an Amendola jersey, but do you, you know, do you support Palestine?

• 37:46Theo Von?

  You know? Are they just gonna start saying Hamas is in the stands? Like, I, it's just fu- it, you know, it's kind of, it's crazy to think.

• 37:56Theo Von?

  It's just scary. I don't know. But, but, but that's, that's, that's the fear. That's what my fear is. It's like, well, if there's a country doing this, their government is doing this, and that country owns a lot of our country, or is obviously, like, who's next?

• 38:15Theo Von?

  And that, like, I'm not a smart guy. You know, I think I'm smart about a couple of things. But I'm not, I know I'm not like a big information guy.

• 38:30Theo Von?

  So I, I just, I don't know. I can't be the only one that's thinking about this or feeling, or like, or feeling about it, you know? I don't know. It's okay.

• 38:42Theo Von?

  It's okay. You know, it's scary.

• 38:49Theo Von?

  And so what? I'm scared. Or I'm fucking, you know, it's uncomfortable.

• 38:54Theo Von?

  You know?

• 38:57Theo Von?

  Spin that shit. Spin that shit. But TikTok just serves you up another thing, you know? Another down-sent him guy with a hammer or whatever, or fucking, you know, the new iPhone 7000. It can tell if your brother's gay or whatever, the second he, you know, looks at it or whatever.

• 39:19Theo Von?

  Or the McRib, or the fucking McFish, or the Mc**** or whatever. It's all back.

• 39:26Theo Von?

  You know, here's another, another Dancing with the Stars. We just found a Chihuahua

• 39:32Theo Von?

  that can recite the Bhagavad Gita. It just, we, every, there's so much information, we can't even, I can't even feel anymore half the time.

• 39:43Theo Von?

  I try to have a feeling and it's just like, I need a 10-piece lemon pepper. You know, it's like, I fucking close my eyes to try to get a earnest, instinctual connection with God.

• 40:00Theo Von?

  I got a pocket full of money, who the fuck want? And it's just like, it's just, it's a, it's a lot. It's a lot.

• 40:10Theo Von?

  So anyway, and I know, I'm, I look, I know I have food in a home and, um,

• 40:18Theo Von?

  you know, and I know suffering has always been a part of existence. I know that.

• 40:26Theo Von?

  So.

• 40:29Theo Von?

  Yeah, sometimes it's just, it's just a lot. It's a lot. And I can't even imagine how much it is for other people.

• 40:36Theo Von?

  Because my basic needs are met.

• 40:40Theo Von?

  Um, anyway, or not anyway, but moving on, uh, what's going on personally? Let me check in. Today was like, I woke up this morning. I was just feeling overwhelmed. I couldn't, I was like, I was just feeling overwhelmed. I felt like everything needed to be perfect today. I knew I was gonna do a solo episode and sometimes that scares me. Oh, I just knew everything needed to be, uh, cause I get this feeling like, okay, this, everything, you know, everything's gotta be perfect. I gotta do everything per, like, I can't do this right. And the second I like, like, at the same time as I gotta do everything perfectly, the, the other feeling that goes with that is that there's no way I can do all this.

• 41:20Theo Von?

  And I will have both of those feelings at the exam, exact same time and almost let them run a race next to each other and neither one of them's gonna win.

• 41:30Theo Von?

  But I'll have those same feelings at the same time. Um, so I had to go to an AA meeting. Thankfully, I didn't have to, but I went to an AA meeting and it was really great. Uh, that just sets me into a place. Like when I go to meetings, it sets me into a place.

• 41:47Theo Von?

  It just like,

• 41:50Theo Von?

  when a day feels impossible, it takes that impossibility away.

• 41:55Theo Von?

  It takes that away. It just gives me more hope. Um, and recently, uh, I've had a tough time, um, keeping sober days together, keeping like, or just building up a decent amount of sober time. Um, I would continue to go to meetings. I just, it was hard for me to keep get like a lot of days. I'd have like this much or this chunk or it's just like, but I wasn't really, I was like, I'd fallen out of my program work. Um, I'd fallen out of my contact with God. Um, and I wasn't working with my sponsor. And, uh,

• 42:32Theo Von?

  or a sponsor. Honestly, I wasn't working with a sponsor and my program just fell off and I fell off. And I'm grateful today. Um, I got forty-five days right now, forty-six, and I'm just grateful to have a piece of time together, where I feel just like a lot more hopeful.

• 42:56Theo Von?

  You know, I'd always stayed going to meetings and I'd had bits of time and I was putting it together. I just, it was just like, I don't know. There's a lot of like little things, stress, uh, being off my Medicaid, just different things that had made, I think made things tough, but in the end, um, it's just, I wasn't working a program and I wasn't, uh, working with a sponsor.

• 43:17Theo Von?

  And I wasn't being honest with, uh, with my higher power. And so today I'm just grateful that I have that in place right now and that I feel more hopeful. Um,

• 43:30Theo Von?

  and yeah, just be, to be able to be honest, I had to be just brutally honest with my sponsor. Like even if I knew part of me in my head somewhere, there was a little, like, just even a little buzzing of a mosquito in the distance of something that I was scared of or that I might do or that I think is wrong with me or something. I just had to share it. And that's been like a saving grace for me.

• 43:58Theo Von?

  I think I've always had a tough time being like really honest about some stuff.

• 44:11Theo Von?

  And I think sometimes when I'm not really honest with somebody else, I, it's, it's, it's hard for me to be really honest with myself too.

• 44:20Theo Von?

  You know, if I can be really honest with somebody that I trust, then it, it, I don't know. It's just doing something different for me today. Um,

• 44:31Theo Von?

  yeah, and I wanna learn more about like the fears of what some of that is and like, but right now I'm not trying to stress myself out too much. Um, I didn't wanna talk about some of it because I've had things in my life where I'll say like, I'm doing this or I'm doing that. And the second I tell somebody about it for some reason, I stop doing it. Or it stops meaning something to me or something. Um,

• 44:53Theo Von?

  so yeah, I'm just grateful to have this time and I'm thankful that, uh, just that I can pray today and feel like, um, I have some possibility and yeah, so, yeah, one day at a time. One day at a time.

• 45:14Theo Von?

  Let's keep it moving, guys. Uh, and yeah, let's keep it moving. Um, all right. Uh, and thank you guys for just giving me a place to work, a place to go to, a place to be alive at. Um, yeah. And yeah, just grateful today to be here today. Um, all right, let's get in a couple of calls. As always, the hotline is nine eight five six six four nine five zero three. Um, and yeah, thank you.

• 45:49Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. For one hundred twenty-five years, Nordstrom has been part of your story. The stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview, the first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old, the tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe. These are the moments that make Nordstrom, Nordstrom, big or small, we're here for all of it. Celebrating one hundred twenty-five years with new moments still add. Discover it all in Nordstrom stores and at nordstrom.com.

• 46:19Theo Von?

  All right, let's take this call.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  Hey buddy boy, it's Tony from Brooksville.

• 46:25Theo Von?

  Thank you for calling, brother. Let's hear more.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  My real question is a moral one. When I was growing up, my dad lost his house because he had a heart attack when I was in like second or third grade. We lost a lot of our things when he, he had that heart attack. And I have nothing that is his. But my old house, my childhood home, it has a, uh, stained glass Jesus up in the old workshop because he was a carpenter. And I know it's there, but someone recently bought the house and they only speak Spanish and I tried to ask if I could have the Jesus. But now I'm wondering if it's morally okay to break onto the property and steal Jesus

• 47:12Speaker 02

  from the abandoned where like stuff or not? Any advice or words? Peace out, brother. I love you.

• 47:20Theo Von?

  Bro, bro, bro, bro. Let me tell you this, bro. You're asking if it's okay to break into a Latino home y mexicano primero, a primarily Mexican home and steal their Jesus out of there? Bro, you could break into a Mexican home and steal a lot of shit, bro. They'll probably give it to you. You feel me? But bro, you could, you could break into a, you could, bro, you, you could sneak into a Mexican home and steal a lot of things, bro. Posible el queso, you know, de chriso, you know, it's greasy, but you can get it.

• 48:03Theo Von?

  You could probably steal a freaking kiss from their tia. But the, the thing you cannot break into a Mexican home and steal dude is their Jesus, bro. So with that said, yeah, I think it's a good idea. I think, oh, you're gonna have to have a good stratagio, strategio, strategio. That's strategy in Spanish. You're gonna need one of those. Uh, mi gente, you're gonna need that, bro. You're gonna need, because here's the thing. A lot of mexicanos, they're, they work a lot, bro. They're hardworking, right?

• 48:43Theo Von?

  They're hardworking or they're praying. They're either working or praying or celebracion. So there's very little time when they're sleeping in there. So if you're gonna sneak in there and steal a stained glass of window that has Jesus, which is basically, which is kind of like an altar. You're gonna get in there and steal a Jesus from a Mexican family. You got, they're got, bro, they're gonna be asleep for maybe forty minutes.

• 49:13Theo Von?

  You got forty minutes, bro, to fucking get in and get out. You feel me? You feel me, guy? But uh, I think you're, you're out of your fucking mind. But with that said, yes, put on your meta glasses, stream it, stream the abuseo. I hope they stuff you with candy, bro, and fucking but uh, but with that said, good luck, dude. I think you got this. I think you got this, dude. I think you're gonna be fine. You have, dude, you have forty minutes in and out, bro. You're like Nicolas Cage, bro. You're gonna be like Nicolas Cage in the art, whatever he steals the art or whatever. You got that, bro.

• 49:58Theo Von?

  Get in there, fucking be quiet, papa. Be quiet in there because the guy,

• 50:07Theo Von?

  that guy,

• 50:09Theo Von?

  the sleeping guy, he's gonna fucking wake up. Cause he gotta be up for work in five minutes anyway. That fucking guy, bro, Mexican people are on, they can rest for fucking nine minutes. I got a Mexican friend, dude, he sleeps for eleven minutes a day. That's it. He sleeps for eleven minutes a night. He fucking

• 50:32Theo Von?

  and he fucking gotta be at work. So bro, I'm just saying, I think it's a horrible idea. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. And we'll see you in encaracion.

• 50:48Theo Von?

  What else? Uh, we got a call that came in right here.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Hi Theo, my name's Jamie. First off, you're amazing and I could go on and on, but I'm calling for some advice. I'm forty years old, two children, and my oldest is about to start middle school. And I grew up poor and I grew up in a rundown house and I unfortunately didn't get out of that situation. I live in a rundown trailer. And she told me that she doesn't want to go on the school bus because she doesn't want kids to make fun of her. What do I do for her to feel better about her life situation? Because it is what it is and we have love and we have food on the table and we have vehicles.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  But I can't give her more than what I can give her and I want her to be confident. I just don't want her to introvert that pain like I did and not be able to be proud of where she comes from. Whatever you can elaborate on, that'd be great. Thanks and you're amazing.

• 51:57Theo Von?

  Well, thanks for the nice words. Uh, and also honestly, that's one, I think this might be maybe one of my favorite calls that's ever come in. So thank you. Um, let me catch your first name again.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  Hi Theo, my name's Jamie.

• 52:11Theo Von?

  Hey Jamie, you're so, uh, you're such a good thinker and speaker. I just wanted to say that to you.

• 52:21Theo Von?

  And I, I think it's awesome that you think about this and that you care about it, right? Uh, and that you care about it on behalf of your daughter.

• 52:33Theo Von?

  That's really, it's awesome. It's awesome to hear.

• 52:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, I, I'm just gonna share my own experience real quick. Uh, yeah, I grew up in that, in that environment. I used to ride my bike to school. It was about five miles to school, which I'm not trying to make it sound crazy or anything, but you know, I was probably eleven, twelve, uh, thirteen riding my bike to school. And sometimes I'd ride right alongside of the school bus that I was supposed to be on, but I didn't want to be seen getting off that bus. You know, that was the poor bus or that was like, you know, they're just, I don't know. And it kind of now, I'm a little almost ashamed of that because, uh, you know, I, I love the place where I'm from.

• 53:21Theo Von?

  And, but I can relate of like trying to manage how you see me. You know, I didn't want to be in some of the situation that we had.

• 53:33Theo Von?

  And I was always trying to manage how you see me, right? Like I didn't make these choices. I didn't do these things, whatever has us here right now.

• 53:43Theo Von?

  But the thing that I, in hindsight, the thing that I feel like was missing for me would have just been a good conversation from my parents and say, hey, this is what's going on right now with our family. And we, uh, we love you, we care about you. The fact that some things we don't have right now is, has nothing to do with, um, that we aren't good people, that we don't love you, uh.

• 54:12Theo Von?

  Let me think about this even more. If my mom would have just sat down with us or my dad and I, they didn't have time, maybe whatever, they did have time. But, uh, if they would have said, look, we are

• 54:27Theo Von?

  together, we are going to get to another place in life. Another, our family's going to evolve and get to another place, right? Like maybe a little bit better financial place or into a safer home, right? We're gonna have to do that together and there's gonna be some painful parts. And maybe my mom could have shared with me like the painful parts for her maybe were, um,

• 54:54Theo Von?

  that when she, she couldn't give me everything she wanted to or she didn't have time to, um, spend with me in ways that were outside of just providing food and shelter, right? Uh, and that was just my scenario, but it could be like just that conversation. Like, hey, we're in this together, right? And I'm so proud of you and I love you and, um, there's gonna be a year or two. Let's, let's try and have a goal where it might be a little tough here and it's, some parts might be embarrassing, but just know the real truth about you is not these things. If, and, and like if somebody judges you or looks at you a certain way or jokes about you.

• 55:39Theo Von?

  Like I think there wasn't any conversation inside of me that went against that. And so, uh, so when people would say stuff, I, I just took it all on like, oh, I'm worthless or whatever. But I think as long as you have that conversation with her and you let her know, hey, we're doing this together and I love you. And, um, this is who we are in the world. We are fighters and we will figure this out. And, um, and there's gonna be some tough moments. This might be what they are. This is how we can get through them individually and together.

• 56:21Theo Von?

  And, uh, that no matter what, more than anything, that if somebody says something about you or looks at you a certain way, you can have a voice inside of yourself and we can have a voice together as a family that speaks back against that.

• 56:42Theo Von?

  Yeah. So I think those are the things, uh, that I think would, would have probably been nice to have.

• 56:49Theo Von?

  And to hear and just see, hearing how much in your own voice that you are, you're gonna figure this out. And it's not even an affliction. It's like, um, I don't know. I'm just proud of you for like caring about it and calling and, uh. Yeah, it kind of takes me back. Maybe my mother had some of the same questions and she just didn't have a place to think about it or, I don't know.

• 57:15Theo Von?

  But yeah, sometimes just, um, yeah, just that season, that, that season is temporary. And it's gonna build you.

• 57:25Theo Von?

  It's gonna build your kid.

• 57:29Theo Von?

  You know, and

• 57:32Theo Von?

  yeah, it's just tough for kids at that age. But also if, if, if, if, if any listeners have other thoughts and suggestions, I think I probably have more. I'm kind of tired from just like a long day of thinking today, um, or talking. Um, but if any listeners have other suggestions about that sort of thing.

• 57:52Theo Von?

  And one thing that was pretty tough, I'll say this, bruh. They wasn't fucking with anybody in our neighborhood. So people could kind of talk shit, but the kids in our neighborhood, bro, they came pretty gassed up about, you know what I'm saying? If people would really run their mouth. Now, the problem was people in our neighborhood were beefing with each other so much.

• 58:14Theo Von?

  So I think maybe another thing would be to help her relate, work on those relationships in the neighborhood. Even if they're relationships that you don't know if you'll have for your whole life. But, uh, so that she feels like she is part of a group, you know?

• 58:32Theo Von?

  And yeah, and that it's okay to find, that it's okay to find people of different cultures and different classes that you can still be in those circles. You know, that you're not exempt from some space just because of, uh, you can't afford a certain thing or just because your mom has to work all the time. You aren't exempt from some possibility in the world.

• 58:56Theo Von?

  You know, when I look back at my own neighborhood that I grew up in, man, it was not comfortable for any of those kids. Um, and mostly emotionally really, the food and the fucking clothing and being poor, like that shit, yeah, it hurts. But it's like, it's the emotional side that was missing.

• 59:14Theo Von?

  But some of the best business owners, hardest workers and heroes of my heart and, and, and life have come out of that space now.

• 59:25Theo Von?

  So anyway, I'm not preaching at you. I think I sound a little bit preachy, but I hadn't thought about this. Or I think about it sometimes, but no, but I hadn't talked about it. And, uh, yeah, I'm just so happy that you love your daughter so much that you care to think about that.

• 59:41Theo Von?

  You know, and I think letting her know that too, that fills in a lot of the part of like,

• 59:49Theo Von?

  I don't know, whatever that part that needs to be filled in so that stuff doesn't hurt as much. And yeah, I'd love some suggestions from other people if they can hit the hotline. The next solo episode we do, I'll put those on to the end of the episode. Or we'll make a little follow-up piece and put it out on YouTube. It'll probably be like a month, just letting you know.

• 1:00:11Theo Von?

  But yeah, I don't know.

• 1:00:15Theo Von?

  It's just cool. I think like, I don't know. It's so funny how like life brings you back into moments. In my own way, I almost channel this as like this is my mother and her voice and that she cared and that I didn't know it. You know, and that's kind of selfish, but I think like.

• 1:00:33Theo Von?

  Life is like that. Sometimes it's like if someone or if a time from your life is gone and it's passed and it wasn't good. You can fill it in with a new time or a new moment.

• 1:00:45Theo Von?

  Or a new person. Sometimes I'll be in an AA meeting and there'll be a man in there that will share something. And it's like something I needed my dad to always say. Or I needed my brother to say, or just, or something I needed to, and somebody else will fill in and for a moment they're your family. They're your, I don't know.

• 1:01:04Theo Von?

  We're the keys to each other's locks. That's what my friend, uh, James says. So anyway, blessings to you and to, uh, blessings to you, Jamie. Uh, I love you so much for just caring about your kid and sharing that with us today. And, um, yeah, it's a cool topic to think about. So sorry. I kind of rambled. I've had some coffee. And, uh, yeah, and that's been it. And I haven't even, yeah, and I'm doing okay. So praise God. Um, maybe let's hit one more call here. This is the hotline nine eight five six six four nine five zero three.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  Hey Theo, it's Rick. I'm from New Jersey.

• 1:01:43Theo Von?

  What's up, Rick? What's up, Rick? Uh, that's probably one of my 11, no, that's one of my favorite names, probably seven favorites onward.

• 1:01:54Speaker 04

  So I've got 12 years sober. Um, apparently I'm just in a bit of a rut mentally. We just had a baby, second boy, uh, about a month and a half ago. And, uh, you know, I've always.

• 1:02:10Theo Von?

  Congratulations, Rick. That's great. Congratulations.

• 1:02:14Speaker 04

  I've always been the type to reach out and help people and help others and, you know, take care of myself, laugh and I'm just, uh, getting really overwhelmed right now. And, uh, it's, it's hard. It's really hard. Just thinking about, should I drink, pick up a drink? And it's just not worth it. Just, uh, I don't want to lose everything. I'm trying to like reach out to people and, you know, offer help for some reason, like that I could give help to somebody. I just feel like I, I just feel like I'm trying to help somebody else, but I really need help myself. I really appreciate you having this line open. I've been watching you for a while, listening for a while and

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  really, uh, appreciate the thing, things that you do for people and you give them advice. I really do appreciate you, man, a lot. I just need to talk and talk to somebody today.

• 1:03:07Theo Von?

  Hey, Rick. Thanks for calling, man. Um, can we try to just call him, Trevin? Do you have that set up?

• 1:03:19Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 1:03:20Theo Von?

  Hey, Rick.

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  Hey, what's going on?

• 1:03:24Theo Von?

  What's up, man? It's Theo. Can you hear me?

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, I hear you, man. How you doing?

• 1:03:29Theo Von?

  I'm doing good, dude. I just was listening to some voicemails and I heard your call, dude. I just wanted to touch base and say, hey.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  Dude, you have, this is great to hear from you. You have, you have no idea.

• 1:03:42Theo Von?

  Oh, thanks, dude.

• 1:03:42Speaker 04

  It's great to hear from you.

• 1:03:45Theo Von?

  What's going on?

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  So, uh, yeah, I was in a bit of a rut in the past. And I was really on that, like that deep decline. It's just, things were, uh, all in on top of one another. It felt like it was just never ending. And I've been, I was sober for, uh, 12 years and it just felt like things I just, you know, started crumbling down and down. And then, you know, you get into that, that mental hedge space of, uh, like I got diagnosed with cancer and, uh, and, uh, I used to be 500 pounds. So like all these things are like, you know,

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  it's, uh, it's, it's going to rest, rest month, to be honest. Um.

• 1:04:28Theo Von?

  Well, cancer will help with that weight loss, huh?

• 1:04:32Speaker 04

  Well, no, I used to be, I used to be 500 pounds. So like, so I used to be 500 pounds. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2010 and I lost like 280 pounds. And, uh, I'm a UPS driver. So, uh,

• 1:04:47Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 1:04:47Speaker 04

  I got diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and, uh, you know, I got through that and then, uh, we lost, we lost, uh, lost the baby, uh, six months ago. So it was, uh, it was kind of rough. Um, she was four months in and it was brutal. And then, uh, you know, things just kept coming back and then got diagnosed with cancer again. And I was just in a really rough mental space. Just felt like, you know, things were really on the, uh, downhill spiral, you know, but that, you know, thinking, thinking.

• 1:05:27Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  Uh, you know, you, you've talked about it before, but it's, uh, I was in a really bad spot. And the day I called you, I was like really down and really out, just ready to just, just pick up a drink again and just throw it all away. But then, you know, I, I do have a five little, five-year-old Luca and, uh, he's just the best thing ever. So it's like, you know, you're getting those little flunk and stuff and then, you know, you forget about things when you get home. Um.

• 1:05:59Theo Von?

  Yeah. What helped you out of it?

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  So, uh, pretty much just trying to not really dwell on the whole diagnosis again. Just try to focus on, you know, being there for Luca and my wife. And, uh, you know, we're having another baby coming soon. So that was also something to look out for and, you know, all those things mentally started to like pile up. And it's like, you know what?

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  You get diagnosed again and it was just like, dude, this is crazy. Like I'm not doing great at all. And like I have, you know, I had a good out. So I had surgery, uh, a few months ago. And I was out of work for a bit and it's just, you know, financials are piling up on you. And then you think about everything else. It's like, oh, another baby on the way. It's, uh.

• 1:06:51Theo Von?

  Oh yeah. Having a drink would feel, feels like that it would be the answer, man. Um, and were you able to stay sober?

• 1:06:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was.

• 1:06:59Theo Von?

  Let's go.

• 1:07:00Speaker 04

  I just, uh, thank, thank God. I was like,

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  you know, it, it's for me, I'm always the one that will reach out to people to see how they're doing. And then at the end of the day, I'd, I'd realize that I was the one really that needed the help. But for me to help others first was like, it helped me get out of my, you know, stage.

• 1:07:21Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  And, uh,

• 1:07:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  even, even up to now, like, you know, I'm back at work now and, you know, driving to UPS still. So I'm in New Jersey. So I just got back last week. So, um, you know, financially things will, will come and go. I get that. And, uh, that's where I think that hedge space was where like, you know, baby coming, you're out because of cancer, like.

• 1:07:48Theo Von?

  Yeah. I mean, yeah.

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:50Theo Von?

  Being overwhelmed.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  Like, how am I going to do this? Yeah.

• 1:07:53Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  Absolutely. And, uh,

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  but dude, like, I, I wanted to like talk to you and really tell you thank you for your stuff that you do because, you know, when you're in those hedge spaces, yeah, you're, you're a, you're a good person down and, you know, down, deep down. And I know that. And then, but you're also a comedian too, but it's great. So like you need a good laugh sometimes. You need to get that chuckle. And it's, uh, a lot of your stuff has definitely helped me a lot. And I really do truly appreciate everything that you do and have done.

• 1:08:29Theo Von?

  Well, thank you so much, dude. I appreciate it. Yeah. I'm just trying my best, man. I think that's all most people are trying to do. Uh, one day at a time, you know? Um, but yeah, I just got 46 days, I think. I'd had some tough moments and I got 46 days. And so I'm feeling grateful for that. And yeah, man, I just, yeah, you just, some days just became too much. But I'm grateful that, um, I've been able to keep, um, just stacking days, man. And it just makes me feel, yeah, this is just the way that it's got to be. And I'm, I'm, I'm grateful for that. And I'm, and I'm happy. I don't have to do it alone, dude. So I appreciate you just sharing what's going on with you, with us. And, uh, yeah, one day at a time, champ.

• 1:09:13Speaker 04

  Hell yeah. Hey, um, all those days start to add up and, you know, soon enough you've got this big ass house that you stacked for all those days. And it's not going to take you down. And you know what? I've always been told, you know, you always have another relapse. But you have another recovery in you. And that, you know, after that little cloud goes over your head and you're not thinking, you know, you think about that stuff. It's like, you know, I don't want to do this whole thing over again. I don't know if I have the courage to do it. But you do, but you just don't want to, you don't want to test it. You don't want to, I don't want to. And I know it's, it can happen anytime. It could happen.

• 1:09:52Theo Von?

  Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah. I mean, everybody like, I have no idea. Everybody's journey is different, but yeah, just grateful today that I get to be sober. And that, um, and that I'm hopeful that I can just keep this going one day at a time. Um, talking to other alcoholics helps, man. I appreciate you, Rick, dude. Congratulations on the new baby. Uh, we'll be cheering that on, man. We'll be cheering on. And the baby is going to be here in two months, you said?

• 1:10:18Speaker 04

  Uh, he'll be here in four months.

• 1:10:21Theo Von?

  Okay. The baby will be here in four months. Awesome, dude. Um, y'all got a name picked out yet or no?

• 1:10:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're going to be Adam. We're going to be Adam.

• 1:10:30Theo Von?

  Adam.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  Hell yeah.

• 1:10:32Theo Von?

  Adam, get down here.

• 1:10:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:34Theo Von?

  Sounds good to me.

• 1:10:35Speaker 04

  Get your ass down here.

• 1:10:37Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude. Adam. Oh yeah, that works.

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  That's about a hockey stick.

• 1:10:45Theo Von?

  All right, Rick. Best of luck, dude. Um, be safe. Thanks for chatting today. I gotta go, uh, I gotta go get a massage, man, to be honest with you. Legit one. And I don't, I tell them, don't jerk me off. Right when I walk in there, I say, don't even jerk me off. Nobody's jerking me off but me.

• 1:11:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. You don't, you're, make sure to tell that guy, hey, don't flip me over.

• 1:11:08Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. I don't even, bro, yeah. Well, some of them are so strong, but, um, all right, bro. Love you, bro.

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  Thank you. I love you too.

• 1:11:17Theo Von?

  Congratulations.

• 1:11:19Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:11:19Theo Von?

  Thanks for sharing that you were having a tough day. And, um, yeah, just appreciate you.

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  Hey, thank you for calling.

• 1:11:25Theo Von?

  Checking in. You bet, Rick, man. Be good, Rick.

• 1:11:27Speaker 04

  I love you, Ben. Love you, love you, love you, love you a lot, man. Hell yeah.

• 1:11:31Theo Von?

  All right. Thanks, Rick. Love you too, bro.

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  All right. I'll talk to you soon.

• 1:11:34Theo Von?

  Peace, buddy.

• 1:11:36Theo Von?

  Rick. Dude, when I go to heaven, I hope they call me damn Rick, bro. That's for some reason, that name just, I like it. I like it a lot. Um, anyway, thank you guys for being here today. Um, thank you for everybody that checked out Bus Boys on Hulu. We appreciate that. Um, and yeah, one day at a time, we'll keep things going. And, uh, just grateful to be alive today and have a chance today. Um, and thankful for this podcast.

• 1:12:12Theo Von?

  And what else? Yeah, just be good to yourself. We gonna keep trying this thing, bro. We got this. Praise God. And, uh, yeah. Have a good one. Yeah.