Claudia Oshry: How to Stop Letting Your Body Image Hold You Back & Build Lasting Confidence

Do you ever feel held back by body image? What’s one thing that instantly boosts your confidence? Today, Jay welcomes Claudia Oshry, a comedian, podcaster, and social media personality. Claudia is the co-host of the extremely popular podcast "The Toast" and has gained a large following on Instagram for her relatable and often self-deprecating posts. Claudia has been open about her personal life, including her struggles with body image and her journey to motherhood. Claudia opens up about the misconceptions surrounding her online persona, her journey with Ozempic, and her decision to embrace motherhood. She discusses the challenges of vulnerability on social media and the importance of self-acceptance and living life on your own terms and finding fulfillment. Jay and Claudia share their personal experiences with weight and body image, revealing the societal pressures and internal struggles they have faced. They explore the complexities of Claudia's weight loss journey and decide to use Ozempic openly in the public eye. Claudia shares her personal transformation and the newfound confidence she gained through her weight loss journey. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Overcome Misconceptions How to Embrace Vulnerability How to Deal with Weight Stigma How to Build Confidence How to Find the Right Partner Remember, it's okay to seek support and share your struggles. Embrace your true self, live life on your own terms, and never stop pursuing your dreams. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:27 How It Feels to Be Misunderstood 04:57 Protect Your Own Peace 06:56 What is Fat Camp? 08:34 The Struggle of Losing Weight 12:38 Responsible Use of Ozempic 16:20 Struggle with Self Image and Confidence 19:36 How Does Getting Pregnant Feel? 24:18 Getting Ready to Start a Family 30:46 Friends Change Throughout Your Life 33:08 Choosing What to Share About Your Life 39:45 Becoming a Content Creator 42:45 Learnings from the Corporate Life 46:16 Building a Brand as a One-Man Team 49:26 Smart Advice for Content Creators 52:49 Just Get Started 55:08 Stability is Beneficial in Running a Business 58:04 Running a Business with Family 01:01:44 How to Record a Good Episode 01:03:27 Know When to Listen 01:07:11 The Worst Type of Humor 01:10:46 Greatest Lesson from Grief 01:14:50 The Girl with a Dead Dad 01:18:37 The Dangers of Exposing Children Online 01:21:30 Claudia on Final Five Episode Resources: Claudia Oshry | Website Claudia Oshry | TikTok Claudia Oshry | Instagram Claudia Oshry | Youtube Girl With No Job: The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:40Speaker 01

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• 1:10Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favourite podcast. Choose a cellar or North East Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can see my On Purpose podcast live and in person.

• 1:50Jay Shetty?

  Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on sale now. Head to JayShetty.me and get yours today.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  I think a lot of people let their weight control their lives. I didn't think that I was capable of changing. And now I know I'm capable of that. Like, bitch, I can do anything. Like, I really can. She is a multi-talented entertainment personality. I hope everybody's having a gorgie, gorgie Monday.

• 2:29Jay Shetty?

  The one, the only Claudia Oshry. What do you feel is the biggest misconception about you?

• 2:33Speaker 02

  I felt so misunderstood by people. I remember getting married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't gonna be there. When I was struggling with my self-image. I feel like I'm gonna cry now, sorry.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 2:55Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you choose to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Today, I'm excited because I'm actually speaking to someone who is my team's number one pick. My team will only wanna show up for Michael B. Jordan, Lewis Hamilton, and Claudia Oshry. I'm not kidding.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Women and male-dominated fields.

• 3:15Jay Shetty?

  I'm not kidding. My team are the biggest fans of today's guest. I was lucky enough and grateful enough to go on her show, The Toast, the hit show, award-winning, incredibly huge, huge, huge podcast called The Toast last year. It is genuinely the thing. Whenever I get stopped, people are like, "I heard you on The Toast. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it." So I am so excited I get to return the favor today with Claudia Oshry. Claudia, thanks for being here.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. Best intro ever. Do it again.

• 3:44Jay Shetty?

  I'd be happy to. It was genuine. It was honest and...

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I love you, by the way. Like, when we met, I'm not gonna lie. I was like a little, I'm like, who's this guy? Because I wasn't super familiar. I read your book and I was like, okay, let's see what it's about. I feel like sometimes when someone becomes really known with a lot of celebrity friends, it can be like a little smoke and mirrors. And I was like, honestly, I'm suspicious. This guy's coming in. And you were so kind the second you walked in. It was very disarming. I was like, oh, never mind. I take back. Like, I love him. And we had such a great conversation. And I actually loved so many things about your book, because your book was like really heavy on relationships. And I just loved it. And ever since then, I've just like loved you.

• 4:19Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that genuinely means the world to me. And you made me feel so comfortable that day because I was like, guys, like you guys, I was talking to my team and I was like, you guys listen to her and I was like, I'm not cool, I'm not funny. I was like, how am I gonna fit in? Like, how's this gonna work? And they were like, no, no, no, she's gonna be wonderful. And you were and you are. And I'm so grateful that I now get to do this back. So let's dive straight in.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:39Jay Shetty?

  Because you just said something to me. I wasn't gonna start here, but you just said something to me. And I wanted to ask you, like, what do you feel is the biggest misconception about you?

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. That's a good question. I don't know if I would say there's one misconception. I would say like, though largely, and there was a period a few years ago, because I remember writing about this in my book, where I felt so misunderstood by people. And I feel like unless you were watching my podcast every day and listening to everything else's thing that I said, you didn't really get me. Because I feel like I come off as like a lot of different things, like a little crazy, a little outlandish. But I feel like the person that I really am is like a sister, a wife. I feel like kind of gets lost in the mix sometimes. I like to think I'm like, and I'm always like joking about how funny and sweet and kind and beautiful I am. But I really do believe that about myself. And I feel like just because I always lead with like humor and a little bit of like outrageousness, I do feel like that softer, very what I think is genuine, gets a little bit lost.

• 5:30Jay Shetty?

  That's so interesting. I mean, I can relate in so many ways. I feel so misunderstood so often. And it's because we have a view of what a spiritual person, or a teacher, or a guide looks like. And I think I'm just trying to be people's friend. I'm trying to be the person who's just reminding you something.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Yes, I feel like your job title definitely, like you lead with that and people have conceptions about that before. And I feel the same way like coming from a comedy space, especially when you make jokes that like sometimes are a little, you know,

• 6:00Speaker 02

  people are like, oh, she's crazy, she's radical. And it's just like, I'm actually just a girl. Like, I'm just a girl. And nothing makes me happier than making people laugh. And like, sometimes I take it a little far, but like, it's funny, it's funny. What's a big deal?

• 6:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that's why for me as well, it's like, I wanna help people, I wanna make people feel better, I wanna introduce people to great ideas and insights. It's not, it doesn't have to be heavy, it doesn't have to be like everything. I also love soccer and love fashion and love, you know, just I'm a normal human being and it's like, I love that balance and I think that's how I see myself as someone who has these very nuanced interests and hobbies and everything else. But I think naturally, we're kind of forced to be in a box.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, you could be both.

• 6:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you can be both.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  A hundred percent, I still believe that. I feel like I'm so hard and I'm so soft.

• 6:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:47Jay Shetty?

  At the same time.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  At the same time, and I feel like I'm always leading, obviously, because what I do is like, just try to make people laugh, which I love. So I'm always leading with that and I do feel like my sort of so we sensitive side, and I'm very sensitive, I feel like I don't show that a lot. And I don't wanna show it that much because I feel like on the internet's so toxic. If you open up about a vulnerability or something, people throw it back in your face and they use it against you, so I'm also really protective of my own piece.

• 7:13Jay Shetty?

  Wow. When did you learn that you had to do that?

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Um, I feel like when I first started opening up, I feel like the first thing I really opened up about, because I share everything on the internet and it's not hard. I don't feel like I'm digging deep to share, I'm a not, like if I meet you for the first time, I'll tell you my life story, that's just how I am. So I've never felt like I was sharing something that I wasn't comfortable sharing, until I shared my journey with Ozempic, which was so personal to me. And, you know, I got a lot of support for it, but there were also people, you know, you're stealing drugs from diabetics, like literally, no I'm not. And there was like a lot of, there's a lot of discourse around that. Do people who struggle with their weight need medication? Are they stealing medication from diabetes patients? So I felt like scared to share that. One, because I think the emotion I felt most was like I was really embarrassed that one, I'd gotten myself to a place where I required a medication.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  And two, I did feel a little pushed to share, just because it was so obvious to people that I was on it and that, you know, everybody, nobody would let me live, nobody would let me sleep for five minutes. They're like, she's on Ozempic, she's on Ozempic, she's on Ozempic. And when I did share, I'm ultimately so glad that I did, but I didn't feel... At first, like it was my choice necessarily.

• 8:20Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, that that always feels harder.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, when you feel like you had to share something because there was already so much.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Speculation.

• 8:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  And now, when I look back, I wish I shared sooner. It's like the greatest journey I went on. I have so many positive things to say about it. I think when I tell people, it makes them feel like a little less embarrassed about their journey. Because look at me, I'm so fabulous. And even I did it. And I wish I did it sooner and I loved every minute of the journey. Um, but at the time, I was so embarrassed. Like, that was just the I the the emotion I remember feeling was like pure shame.

• 8:51Jay Shetty?

  That's, I mean, and that sounds like such a hard place to be. We actually interviewed, I interviewed Johann Hari, a good friend of mine who wrote the book The Magic Pill.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 8:58Jay Shetty?

  He's on Ozempic and he's gone and done all the research from the biggest experts in the space and the naysayers in the space. And so, for anyone who's looking for a

• 9:06Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 9:07Jay Shetty?

  very research guy to Ozempic, he he was brilliant and he talked about it from so many different perspectives. But going back to what you said, one of the first things that I think so hard for people is how society has made people feel shameful about their body in general. I mean, you've talked before about, I saw that, I I actually couldn't believe this existed, but you've talked about going to fat camp.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:27Jay Shetty?

  Like, I'd never heard of that.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Of my life.

• 9:29Jay Shetty?

  We never, I've never heard of that, living in

• 9:31Speaker 02

  It's so American.

• 9:31Jay Shetty?

  growing up in London.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:32Jay Shetty?

  Like, first of all, explain to me how you can get away with calling something fat camp and what is fat camp?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Well, actually, at the time, I believe they were going by weight loss camp, not that it mattered. Like, colloquially, it's called a fat camp.

• 9:42Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Um, and yeah, so I went to summer camp my whole life and when I was like, I feel like maybe I was in like the sixth grade. I don't remember how old I was. My older sister was really struggling with her weight. I never struggled with my weight as a kid. And, you know, my parents tried a lot of different things. And one of the things that they tried was sending her to like a summer camp that was focused on physical fitness. I think what people think of as a fat camp, like a fat farm, where like the kids are up every day pulling tires up hills, it wasn't like that at all. It was a very standard all American summer camp with fitness and diet just sort of at the forefront of meals and activities. And all my sisters went to support my older sister and we ended up having like the most amazing time. We went back, I never went back to the old camp that I I had originally went to. We went back every summer. It was the greatest experience.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Of my life, some of my best friends I still talk to to this day from camp. And so I know how it like sounds and looks to other people, but for me, it was just such a regular camp experience. But I also wasn't on the program. So for any of the summers that I spent at a weight loss camp, I was actually never struggling with my weight. So I would wear this special bracelet that just let everyone at the facility know, like, I'm not on the program. And then it turns out, you know, the second I left camp, I actually started to, you know, struggle with my weight and I really could have used a weight loss camp.

• 10:51Jay Shetty?

  Wow. I mean, so what was that like then in the beginning years? Because I think what's interesting as we, as we talk about Ozempic. To me, so much of it is about how we're conditioned since we're young. So I grew up overweight.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Oh, did you?

• 11:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, for I was overweight until I was about like fifteen.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 11:07Jay Shetty?

  Sixteen years old, maybe.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  I can't picture it.

• 11:09Jay Shetty?

  And yeah, I'll, I'll show you pictures.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  I would love to see.

• 11:12Jay Shetty?

  I will, I will. My wife has plenty of embarrassing pictures of me and, and she was as well.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 11:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, she was as well.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Let me tell you, people who have never struggled with their weight, like are, are not people, not that there's anything wrong with them, but like they're not people I can relate to. I feel like struggling with your weight makes you such a real bitch. Like, can I curse on here?

• 11:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Like, I feel people who have struggled with their weight, they know real struggle. They know being uncomfortable. Like, I just feel I, when I meet someone and they've struggled with their weight, like I automatically know they're like, they're my type of person. Do you know what I mean?

• 11:40Jay Shetty?

  Well, that's, that's what I'm, I'm sharing.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  It creates such a resilience, like you're seriously, especially as a kid. Oh, my God.

• 11:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's huge. I mean, like, I remember the bullying, the name calling, the awkward thing of trying to pull myself out of a swimming pool and not being able to.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  So real.

• 11:54Jay Shetty?

  You know, moments like that where you're just like, oh gosh, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened. And then being forced to wear speedos at school.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  So British.

• 12:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, not in America, right?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  No, never.

• 12:05Jay Shetty?

  That's our version of fat camp. Yeah. You have to wear speedos.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  That's terrible, actually.

• 12:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And so when I look back at all of that, I think about how much shame, guilt is already set up just in our perception.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:18Jay Shetty?

  Of what it means to be overweight.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:19Jay Shetty?

  And now you're talking about feeling shame of going on Ozempic, which you're taking to do the opposite.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Well, it's like you can't win. I used to get like so much, you know, backlash and, and messages like that I'm setting a bad example, that I live in unhealthy lifestyle. So then I take control of it and like I, I start changing my life and now I'm. You know, running diabetics over with a bus like you really can't win. So you just have to do what makes you happy and going on that journey made me really happy. It was like the first time in my life where I ever felt in control of my weight. Like since I'm like, I started gaining weight in college. So, but since I'm 18. I, it was the craziest feeling. It was so foreign to me and I think a lot of, especially girls who struggle with their weight, maybe able to relate to this, like. I was always a confident person, even when, you know, I was struggling with my weight and I was always really happy in my own body.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  That was like something I really worked on. I think a lot of people let their weight control their lives, whether it comes to work or personal relationships. For me, I was never gonna let it stand in my way, but that didn't mean that I didn't like that I liked it. Like, I loved myself and I loved my life, but deep inside, I always wanted to be skinny. So when you're an overweight girl, like you wake up every day and you think about, like you look, you pass a mirror, you pass a window. You're thinking probably a hundred times a day about like the inevitable day when maybe one day you will be skinny. So Ozempic gave me that, like, and to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think, and I know it sounds so dramatic, but to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think is gonna come to fruition is the craziest feeling. And that's why I really felt so compelled to share my journey because at the time when I shared, it was 2023.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  I think maybe around the end of the year, and it was like the summer. There was so much negative stuff out there about Ozempic, like the Daily Mail, every time somebody ended up in the ER with a headache, it was Ozempic's fault. And I just felt like everybody was being made fun of for being on Ozempic and no one was really talking about how life-changing it is. And especially as like a girl who always wanted to be a mom. I was, I was like, I can't ever get pregnant at this weight. I have to lose the weight before I can gain the weight. So it just gave me opportunities. It gave me a whole new life and I felt so compelled to share. Cause it bothered me how negative everything was about this journey. Like we were all supposed to feel shame. Like the amount of negative media representation, negative mentions of Ozempic, like was supposed to, I think, shame people into not doing it. And I was like, I don't feel like, and I think that's why Oprah did her special too.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Her special was really powerful because she's somebody who's benefited enormously from it. And you don't hear those stories enough and it makes me so sad. So ultimately it was the best decision I ever made, going on it and also sharing the journey. But at the time. I just wish people had given me like a little bit more space to process it, you know?

• 14:55Jay Shetty?

  Did you ever worry about the side effects and and what you because I'm guessing you're thinking about those things as well?

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. So um when I when it was first brought up to me by my plastic surgeon, I was like super intrigued. Then I spoke to like my primary care physician about it and both of them were really like down and excited and they wanted me to do it. So I felt really good like knowing that my doctors supported it. And that's why like I I didn't share from day one because one, what if it didn't go well? Two, so it doesn't work for some people. So I make this whole big thing. I'm going on and then I don't even lose the weight like there were so many factors at play. So I I couldn't share from day one. And then when I started to to drop significant weight, I was just then feeling embarrassed. That's why I didn't share. I was like, wow, I my life got to a place where it was where I'm so out of control. I need medication to get me to stop eating like.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  And that's what I loved about Oprah's special was she really dived into like the illness, the disease of obesity and how it's like telling someone to stop eating is like telling a depressed person to just be happy like it's really not in our chemical compound. So I felt like the whole journey I was learning about myself. I was learning about the disease. I was learning about the medication. And yeah, of course, I was worried about side effects. But after a couple of weeks, when I had minimal nausea and it went away pretty fast, I felt like this was the right drug for me.

• 16:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And then what was it that decided to get you off it?

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Oh, well, I had lost the weight and I feel like I was on it for a year and the first six months, I just kind of let the drug like do its thing. I didn't change my life at all. I was like still eating like crap. But that's how the drug works. You eat like crap, but you eat half. So I was losing weight. And then halfway through, I was like, OK, now that I've kind of gotten my life a little bit under control, let me actually try and change my life. So I joined the gym. I got a trainer. I started working out. I started eating way healthier. So I did the journey like in two parts, one where I just kind of let the medication run me. And then where I use the medication as like a a tool to change my life. And I really wanted to see if I could do it without. And I also knew that I had wanted to get pregnant sometime soon and you have to be off the medication for a minimum of two months.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  So I got off of it in December of 2023. I knew in the next year I'd wanted to get pregnant and I kind of wanted to put as much time between being off the drug and starting my journey. And I wanted to see like if I could keep up with my working out and my eating well regimen without the drug and I was able to. And that's like one of the things I'm most proud of because like and I never would have been able to get there if it weren't for the the tool of Ozempic and all those GLP one medications.

• 17:18Jay Shetty?

  Wow. And how did you? How has it changed you? Because you, like you said, you're already confident.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:23Jay Shetty?

  You already liked yourself.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  No.

• 17:24Jay Shetty?

  You knew who you were. What's changed?

• 17:26Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm insufferable now. Like, no, I think that so much of my confidence was, like, I really had to work at it. Do you know what I mean? It was, I don't want to say fake, but I just remember one day waking up and like deciding to be confident. And slowly, but slowly, brick by brick, I built up a sense of confidence that really, it was real, but I do think it was built on a foundation of like, kind of lies. And now that I like really changed my life, I felt so confident, but I also felt so confident that I was capable of change. I think for many years, I'm such a stubborn person. I, I didn't think that I was capable of changing anything, anything, let alone this huge thing for me, which has always been my weight, which has kind of been like my Roman Empire.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  So I think the fact that I successfully changed something in my life, something bad, and turned it into good, like, that, and now I know I'm capable of that. Like, bitch, I can do anything. Like, I really can.

• 18:22Jay Shetty?

  I love that attitude. But, but how did you build that energy before? Like, I don't, I don't want to take away from the fact that even though you say you were faking it.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:30Jay Shetty?

  Obviously, it was working in that you were still doing well. It seems like you were comfortable in your own skin. Like, what would you say to someone who maybe doesn't have, doesn't want to go on a Zen pick?

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:42Jay Shetty?

  Because they're scared or whatever it may be, but like, what would you say with them?

• 18:47Speaker 02

  So I feel like people don't like my answer because when I was like struggling with my self-image, I feel like I'm gonna cry now, sorry. So much of my confidence, I would say like all of it, came from the fact that I had a husband or a boyfriend at the time, fiance, who loved me so much. And he thought I was like the greatest thing. And so if he thought it, and look at him, like, I just, I love him so much. And so he thinks I'm so great. Like, that's not that you should get your confidence from a man, whatever. But like, I did. Just to be loved so, um, unequivocally by somebody who I think is so great, um, that gave me a lot of confidence. Like, he thought I was the best. He thought I was the smartest. He thought I was the prettiest. So like, I was. Cause his opinion is the only one that matters.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  But also, like, I look at him and I think of him as like so charming, attractive. Like, who wouldn't want to marry him? And he likes me? Like, oh my God, I must be like the greatest thing ever. And, and I really feel like so much of my confidence, and it's so funny, cause he says, That he gets confidence from me, which I feel like really happy that it's a two-way street, but having a relationship that I felt really solid about, but also somebody who just loved me so much, really, um, it just made me believe like what he was saying. Do you know what I mean?

• 19:57Jay Shetty?

  What's interesting to me is just so much of how, whether it's body shaming we do to ourselves, or that society does to us, how so much of it is built up around aesthetics and visuals, and how health and vitality are actually not based on simply visuals.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  No, but I will say visually, at the top, like if you were to just compare me visually now and me visually then, like, I was very unhealthy. Like, I had a lot of random medical issues that like a 25-year-old girl shouldn't be having. So, I agree with you that like a lot of times we judge people's health based on their weight, and that's not the case for everyone. But, to be clear, like, it was the case for me.

• 20:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Like, I was not healthy. I did not walk to work. Like, I was really, like, living a very inactive, unhealthy lifestyle. That's not the case for everyone you see who's overweight, but that was 1,000th percent the case for me.

• 20:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And now, what's the new schedule?

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Oh, bitch. Well, now I'm pregnant, so like, it's kind of reverted back. But, so, not pregnancy-wise. I just really, like, lead my day with little pockets of activity. I think that, like, me, going to meetings, going to work, like, I'm always being like, okay, I'll walk. Um, I worked out, like, before I got pregnant. I worked out, like, you know, three to five times a week. Um, I would spend my weekends, like, doing things that I enjoy whilst being active, like going for walks in the park with Ben, just like making sure that I wasn't rotting in bed as much as I can, I'm capable of, because I'm capable of a great deal of rotting. Um, and then with meals, that's really where I probably struggled the most, but just, just trying to be a little bit more well-rounded.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  I feel like I eat like a six-year-old. And so, I do, like, I eat rice and chicken fingers. And so, just changing sometimes to, like, brown rice and grilled chicken, you know? Thinking a little bit more. But it's hard, because I'm such a picky eater, that, you know, I'm not gonna be making bronzino on the weekends with, like, an, a tapenade, you know? That's never gonna happen. I don't even know what tapenade is.

• 21:52Jay Shetty?

  And then, I mean, as I'm hearing you speak, I'm just like, is there a, a lot of people talk about this right now, like this idea of when you become pregnant, is there like a loss of the life you had?

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Oh my god, a hundred percent.

• 22:04Jay Shetty?

  Like, is there a feeling of like, wait a minute, just a few moments ago, a few months ago, I was?

• 22:10Speaker 02

  I would say I don't feel, I, I really, I mean, I've been married for a hundred years and we decided to wait to have kids. And I think that because we made that choice, I am now not spending my pregnancy and, you know, hopefully the next year or two mourning a life. I feel like I lived life to the fullest and I really, really waited till I was ready. So the only thing I feel like I'm mourning is my body, like that, that nobody talks enough about like what it's like to lose significant weight and then get pregnant. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't have like fully fleshed out. I'm like struggling every single day. But no, I don't, I don't feel sad about like a life left behind. I feel like

• 22:52Speaker 02

  I lived every minute, minute of my twenties, like on the edge of cliffs, going on trips, partying, like doing everything I wanted to do. And when I turned thirty over the summer, I was like, you know what? I, I'm done. Like, I really feel, and that's what I'm so happy about. Cause yeah, I like see my friends with kids and I'm like, oh, I do wish I had like, you know, joined them. But I feel so fulfilled in that one chapter of my life that I'm really ready to start the next chapter.

• 23:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What was the reason for putting kids off in the beginning? What was the?

• 23:18Speaker 02

  I, I would say it was, it was mostly career. I've been working since I'm eighteen and I just could not fathom taking time off. And I, I don't know. It just, it really scared me. It doesn't scare me so much anymore. But also the weight thing played, played, I could not fathom at my previous weight getting pregnant. I think it would be a high risk pregnancy, one and two, like, I think it would take me to a new weight, a new category that I might not be able to come back from. So I always knew I had to figure it out before.

• 23:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  And Ozempic came to me at like the perfect time.

• 23:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I think the first thing you mentioned, I relate to that as well. Obviously me and my wife don't have kids yet. And we'd love to one day, but I think a big thing for me also was I was very clear on who I was when we met. And things were kind of going in the right direction for me. And then my wife, I was like really. Patient and I really wanted her to find her purpose before we had kids. Because I wanted her to know who she was and know her identity and have clarity on her worth and her value and everything. Before we have a child because I just felt I was like, I want her to also live a life. And what that looks like in, you know, the past couple of years, she's just like blossom and grown. It's been so fun to watch. And it's like now I'm like, yeah, now, now, you know, from when we're lucky to have children.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  It's more, you can conceive it, right?

• 24:34Jay Shetty?

  Totally, yeah. And, and that you're coming at it from a point of like, I know who I am without anything.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 24:40Jay Shetty?

  Uh, and I think that was so important to me for her. I already had it myself.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  And it's the career thing, right? Like as, as a woman, it's not like you give birth and then you go back to work. It's like a two-year thing from conception to the, like till you really start to feel like yourself again. Especially when your job is like being public and people have so much to say about your body. Like, I don't necessarily, didn't want to put myself through that. Like, I really wasn't ready for it. So I cannot recommend enough waiting till you're really ready. And I know that that's a privilege, but like, I, I'm so pleased with how it's worked out so far. And I'm really, really glad that I waited because I, I remember I always used to say like, I wanted to have kids when I was 25. And I remember sitting on my friend's couch and I was like drunk and he was like, by the way, like, when do you want to have kids? I'm like, when I'm 25. And he was like, how old are you? I'm like, 25. So maybe, maybe when I'm 26.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  And I don't know, I, I always, I've always, always known I love kids. Like my nieces and my nephews are my whole life. Like I've always known that I wanted to be a mom. And then I started to get a little worried because I didn't feel it. I'm like, oh crap, like, I, I was so annoyed at the biological clock and I was so annoyed at COVID. It like took two years for me that like, maybe if COVID hadn't happened, I would have been living my life those two years and been ready when I was 28. But I was like, crap, no. And I got a little worried that I was never gonna be ready. Um, because I know it's something that I want and that's why I feel so grateful that I very naturally came to, to the conclusion that I'm ready. And my husband was amazing about, like if I had said to him five years ago, let's have a kid, he'd say, okay. If I said to him this, he'd like, he was really let me lead, which I so appreciate. He never put pressure on me to like either wait longer or hurry up.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Same with our families. Like nobody really tortured us about it. And I know a lot of girls get like, endless harassment from their parents and their in-laws. Like I didn't get that and I'm so grateful because I really came. To the conclusion on my own. So no, I don't, I don't like look around and I don't look at social media and see people like, you know, on trips and flying out of planes and think, oh, I wish that was me. I'm like, you know what? I did my time. Honestly, that video makes me tired. I want to go take a nap.

• 26:35Jay Shetty?

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• 27:09Jay Shetty?

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• 27:48Jay Shetty?

  credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe, listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller

• 28:30Jay Shetty?

  fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. Walk me through that internal dialogue of like, how do you get to that place of feeling ready? I think so many of us are waiting to feel ready in life, whether it's waiting to feel ready to start a podcast, whether it's waiting to write your book, whether it's waiting to have a kid, whether it's waiting to get married and you're, we're just waiting.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:04Jay Shetty?

  But we never feel ready for most of us.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  I know.

• 29:07Jay Shetty?

  Walk me through what you feel being ready means.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  I feel like jealousy is a really powerful emotion and I started to feel like I might be ready to start a family when like I would hear about other girls that I knew, friends, people telling me. And up until that point, when people would tell me, I would be so happy for them. Like I would cry, like really genuine. And I remember the first time, it was like December of 2023, one of Ben's friends, who, um, his fiance, uh, excuse me, wife is one of my good friends. They told us that they were pregnant and I was so happy for her, but like I was a little jealous. And then I was like, oh, that's interesting. And that's why I feel like it's so important to like, listen to yourself and be able to identify emotions. Cause I was like, okay, let's jot that down. I told Ben, I'm like, by the way, I'm a little jealous of Natalie. He was like, oh, that's great. And that was in December. That was actually when I decided to get off Ozempic. And I was like, okay,

• 29:54Speaker 02

  good to know. And then I just started like, listening to my feelings. And when other people would tell me, I'd be like, damn, now I'm starting to feel a little left behind. And so really, it was my own emotions that told me I was ready. And I've always been very good at like identifying my own emotions and like thinking, how does this make me feel? Am I pissed? Am I happy? And that's really, I would say, how I knew.

• 30:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  But it was, it was a struggle.

• 30:15Jay Shetty?

  It feels like you're someone that always knows you're ready though. Cause you got what, married at 23?

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Yes, I got married very young. I got engaged, me and Ben met when I was 18. We got engaged when I was 21. So we dated all through our college and then 23, yeah, when I got married.

• 30:26Jay Shetty?

  How did you know Ben was the one and you were ready to get married then?

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Uh, it just wasn't even a question. Honestly, I would have gotten married sooner. Like, I know it sounds so crazy and it is, but we met when I was 18. So I was a freshman in college. And then when I was a senior, I wasn't allowed to get engaged in college. It was like, girl, get a degree and then we could talk. So I graduated in May and then Ben and I got engaged in June. It was, I know it sounds, it was four years. I was like, bitch, I'm ready. Like, let's go. Like I knew, like from day one that Ben was love my life. It took him, I want to say like three months to know that I was the love of his life, but it's okay. Some people, we're all on our different journeys. We all have our own process.

• 31:01Jay Shetty?

  I'm you and my wife's Ben.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I try not to like hold resentment. I'm like, oh yeah, no, I remember that time you didn't think I was so cute. And you're like, okay, you don't like me. Um, I don't know. I just, I just knew and it's so crazy because we met when I'm 18, I'm 30 now. So there is a huge part of my life where Ben isn't a factor, but I don't even remember. It's like before Ben and after Ben. Like, I don't remember. It's weird if I'll like tell him a story and he wasn't there. I'm like, ew, where were you? Like you, I actually feel like we're related and we might be, but like, whatever. I, it's the craziest thing. I can't really explain how I knew, but I think when I, when we first met, I was like so excited to have a boyfriend. Cause like I loved watching movies growing up. I'm like, oh my God, I'm literally Cher from Clueless. I finally have a boyfriend. And I was so obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend and like the fact that there was this person who wanted to spend time with me.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  And I was so excited about it. And then like I, I feel like our relationship, we really grew up together. So the longer we were together and the more time we would spend, it was like becoming abundantly clear. Like we really had the same values and we really are the same person. And it's so funny because Ben is so funny, but he's married to me. So it's like, good luck. And I would say if he had married anyone else, he would be the funniest guy in every room. But people say to me, people have known Ben for like three years. Like, by the way, Ben's funny. I'm like, no, I know, but he can't get a word in with me. Um, he's just the best. And I, I honestly, I know it sounds so crazy to have gotten married so young. And when we were getting married, I, I grew up in a modern orthodox Jewish community. So it really wasn't that crazy. Most of my friends have been married around the same age as me.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  But when I would meet like people, you know, regular secular folk, um, they would think it was so crazy. And I remember like being offended when people would say that. I'm like, you don't know me and Ben. You don't know. But let me tell you something. The older I've gotten, the more I learned, like we were crazy. We've changed so much, you know? And when people say like not to get married young, like they're right for that. They're saying it for a reason. I think that the way it worked out for me and Ben is really not how it works out for most people. Because I'm so different. Oh my God, I used to be so annoying, if you can imagine it. Like I was just such a different person and so was Ben, you know? I was like, Very insecure and I don't know, I just was weird and I, and I grew up, I think into a person that's amazing.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  But I grew up to be somebody a little different and it's possible that I had, that I would have grown into somebody that Ben didn't like. And it's possible that Ben would have grown into, he was 21, that he would have grown into somebody that I wasn't particularly into. But we really made a conscious choice to like grow up together. So I understand why people said that and they were probably right for that, but we're different. Sorry. We just are. We are.

• 33:33Jay Shetty?

  No, I, I, I think that's a really fair point. And I think even Radhi was 25 when we got married. I was 28. And even that is somewhat, it's still, you know, it's still younger and it's like, it's, it's the same for us. Like we were sure, you know, it, it worked out for us, but I would say I knew myself very well. Radhi knew herself enough at the time. She's definitely grown. I've kind of stayed the same.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:56Jay Shetty?

  And so there is a sense of like, sometimes you get lucky and you're fortunate and you're blessed and it's beautiful. And sometimes it can be really hard.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 34:04Jay Shetty?

  And crazy. And I, and I think what I'm hearing from you is just like, it's not an issue if, whether you're the rule or the exception, or whichever one you think you are, the, the point is just be thoughtful about it. Like be, because you don't wanna, you don't wanna rush into something too young.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. I also think Ben's a really patient person and I definitely did not know who I was, literally until I would say a year or two ago. And I think I led with that, like sort of insecurity and he was very patient with me. And he was still like dealing and growing with his own thing, but I don't know if in those early years, if I was like the best version of myself. And I think that he really saw in me who, like my potential and was very measured and really patient. So it takes two people to tango and he definitely is like the kinder, patient one in the relationship. And I'm a little bit more like rough around the edges, if you can imagine. And he, I, I, I would attribute a lot of our marital success to, to him.

• 34:58Jay Shetty?

  I love how much you love Ben.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  He's the best.

• 35:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's amazing. I can't wait to meet him.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Oh my God, you've never met him. He's downstairs, obviously on a call. Like, let me tell you, my, my husband is always on a call. I don't know who the hell he's talking to. Literally this morning, he doesn't answer the phone for 40 minutes. I'm like, where are you? He's like, I'm walking the dog. I'm on a call. Who the hell are you talking to? I can't.

• 35:15Jay Shetty?

  No, it's lovely to see how much you love him. Like, it's really beautiful.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Thank you. I will say, like, one other reason why you shouldn't get married young is I have oddly made so many lifelong friends, much later in life, and these people weren't even at my wedding. It's the weirdest thing, like, and some of these bitches at my wedding, like, girl, I don't know you, get out of here. And they're like in my pictures and shit. Also, I wish I had waited, because like, if I had been on Ozempic at my wedding photos, I would have been a lot happier with the end results of the pictures, but that's my fault. That's my fault.

• 35:42Jay Shetty?

  No, I could so relate to that. I'm at that, I'm at that stage where I've got a lot of friends who are older than me, and they all are renewing their vows right now.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:50Jay Shetty?

  And they literally were like, Jay, you weren't at my wedding, but I love that you're here.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  How weird.

• 35:54Jay Shetty?

  Because friends change so much from when you get married to...

• 35:57Speaker 02

  So much. And I feel like there's a point in your life where like you, you have made all of your friends. And 21 was not that for me at all.

• 36:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, because you haven't, you haven't worked enough, you haven't lived enough, like...

• 36:08Speaker 02

  And so many of my best lifelong friends are people I've met through work.

• 36:12Jay Shetty?

  How's that, how does that work?

• 36:13Speaker 02

  I, like, my, some of my best friends, like Brian and Taylor, like, I met, they were guests on our show. You meet a lot of people and like, you know, the reputation of podcasters, content creators, influencers, like, is what it is for a reason. Like, some of them are insufferable, but some of them are just like the most fabulous people you'll ever meet in your entire life. And that's my friends, Brian and Taylor, and they were not at my wedding. And sometimes I'll think about that, and I'll be like, oh, I shouldn't have waited. I should, I should have listened to everybody.

• 36:39Jay Shetty?

  Well, you're giving New York vows.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  I know, but you know, they do say that's a curse. I don't know if that's just for the Real Housewives, but every Real Housewife who has ever renewed her vows ended up divorced.

• 36:48Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Just a fun fact.

• 36:49Jay Shetty?

  That's a fact?

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:50Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  I don't know if it's a fact, but it's like, it's a fun fact. It's a fun fact. I don't plan on renewing my vows. Also, I feel like vow renewal is like an inherently non-Jewish thing. Like, Jewish people don't renew their vows. Like, I don't know a Jewish, single Jewish person that's renewed her vows.

• 37:03Jay Shetty?

  Oh, interesting.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know if it's like in the Bible or anything. I just feel like it's not culturally Jewish.

• 37:07Jay Shetty?

  Interesting. Got it. Okay, understood. Understood. Yeah, it's a, I guess, yeah, I've, I'm always trying to convince Ravi that I want to do it. And she's like, yeah, of course you want another wedding, because you didn't plan the last one.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm so with her on that. Although, the only reason I would do it was to, would be like to get new pictures, because I was like so ugly at my wedding. It's kind of like one of my biggest regrets.

• 37:26Jay Shetty?

  I think Ravi would do it for new pictures, because she wants, even though she looked absolutely gorgeous, she's still...

• 37:30Speaker 02

  She's evolved.

• 37:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, she wants, she wants to change it up.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  But I guess they are. It's a time capsule, you know? It's a moment in time. Ugh, not a moment I want to remember.

• 37:38Jay Shetty?

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• 38:18Jay Shetty?

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• 38:58Jay Shetty?

  That's drink J U N I dot com and make sure you use the code ONPURPOSE. How do you decide what parts of your life to share publicly and what parts to keep private?

• 39:09Speaker 02

  I generally just lead with what I'm comfortable with. Like if I wouldn't be ashamed to tell the person next to me on the train and I don't really feel shame about a lot of things. I feel like maybe that's something I could and should work on, but no, the, I would say the Ozempic thing is like the one thing I really had to push myself to share, but for the most part, I share what's comfortable and I'm just, I'm an open person. I think that some people find that inconceivable, but I just am.

• 39:31Jay Shetty?

  So it's easy for you, but you were saying earlier that there's, there's times when you're like, oh, this could be judged, this could, you know, like this could be misconstrued. And so, and I think that's a really valid point. I appreciate you being so honest about it. That's why I'm raising it because I think at one point we were in this phase where we're like vulnerability means you share everything with everyone.

• 39:49Jay Shetty?

  And I don't subscribe to that definition of vulnerability. I think vulnerability is actually, I know why I'm sharing it with this person and I feel safe to share it there. And so I think that societies had to evolve. And then you also see performative vulnerability, where people are like literally telling a vulnerable story only because they know.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  Because you think you get rewarded for it.

• 40:09Jay Shetty?

  Totally, exactly. Which then ruins the purpose of vulnerability because then it's not vulnerable. So it's like this messy space where I'm trying to, I'm constantly reflecting on like what's truly vulnerable. How comfortable do I feel about it? What does that mean?

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess then like I, I wouldn't categorize myself as a particularly vulnerable person because when I share things, even things that are deeply personal, I, I don't feel like it's a big deal. Do you know what I mean? I'm just an, that's just how I am.

• 40:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  So I would feel weirder not telling people things.

• 40:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Like even when I was trying to conceive with Ben, I do a podcast every day and I'm always talking about what's going on in my life and my marriage and, and it was this huge part that I wasn't sharing and it felt so deceitful. It was so foreign to me because I'm so used to saying, yeah, last night I did X, Y and Z and my color, my underwear is purple. Like I'm such a sharer that actually not sharing is what makes me uncomfortable.

• 41:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And why did you not share that? What was there?

• 41:02Speaker 02

  You know what? It's, it's like a Jewish superstition thing.

• 41:05Jay Shetty?

  Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same in our culture. Indian culture has that.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  It felt, um, private.

• 41:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  You know?

• 41:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. No, no, I, I think Indian culture and Jewish culture.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Are very similar, yes.

• 41:14Jay Shetty?

  Has a lot in common and yeah, there's definitely, there are definitely certain things that you don't share and you don't open up too much about. You wait till they're real and taking care of you.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 41:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no, I respect that and I get that. I think it's, I, I think it's healthy for people to, you know, find, I, I just, I just want to encourage people to think about, you know, whether they're a public figure or not, who you share what with is so important and just don't. Don't fall into the trap of, oh, everyone's being vulnerable. That's what it means to, you know.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I think that's like a byproduct of the internet is like, nobody really keeps anything to themselves anymore. And I think what started out as like a genuinely like good initiative to like open up about things is now like we're all sharing. We all know a little too much about each other, you know?

• 41:56Jay Shetty?

  That's how I feel.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  Let's pull back.

• 41:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, sometimes I watch something like, we shouldn't tell us that, like, I don't think there was a need for us.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  Even myself, like today on the podcast, I was like, I gotta go, I gotta poop. And it's like, why would I say that? And just say it again. Do you know what I mean?

• 42:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and also one thing's really interesting to me. I had a friend, I was at a friend's birthday last month. And he said to me, he was like, Jay, like, I I know it's like you never post what we're doing personally and privately. And and I said to him, I said, it's because I'm really lucky. I think my my public life's amazing, but my private life's better than my public life. And I imagine a world in which I'm sitting in an old rocking chair, talking to my grandkids and talking to family and sharing these stories that no one knows anything about.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:39Jay Shetty?

  And there's something about that feels really sacred and special to me. And I really want that because I remember years ago, sitting with someone and I'm not even family or close with him. But I remember sitting on a beach with him and he was an older man. I was in my late twenties. He was probably in his late sixties. And he just had so many life stories to share. He wasn't famous. He wasn't well known. And he just had all these cool stories that I was like, no one's gonna know these.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:02Jay Shetty?

  But he gets to live them every day. And there was something about that. I was like, I want to have memories that are only mine.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 43:07Jay Shetty?

  Like, that was important to me.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  I think that that's something I learn as I get older, but it also makes it complicated when sharing is your life.

• 43:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Um, and I feel like there used to be a time when I would literally be sharing a piece of content every thirty minutes. I would have a cocktail and post, which is like so dangerous and stupid. Um, but now.

• 43:26Jay Shetty?

  What was the craziest?

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, I used to be like blackout in a drive through at Whataburger in Texas, like blackout ordering, like a crispy chicken biscuit, like whatever, like. And it was just, I looked so scary and I had ketchup all over my face, like, and I think that's why people, you know, that's why I have a lot of the following that I do. They loved that life, but that's not my life anymore. And it occurred to me like several years ago that I didn't have to share every thought that I have. One, it was getting me in trouble. And two, like, yeah, some things can just be like thoughts or memories or things that you keep to yourself. And so I do feel like my strategy has shifted, but it's tough when that's also how you make a living.

• 44:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  You know?

• 44:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, yeah. So how do you balance that?

• 44:04Speaker 02

  I'm working on it.

• 44:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's hard.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  It is hard. I think that I've gotten much better and I look at it a lot like this is my job. We're putting out content like for the job, but it doesn't have to be like the most authentic, one hundred percent, three hundred and sixty degree view of my life. Like I can have things for myself.

• 44:18Jay Shetty?

  That's it's it's good to know you're working on it. That's the point, right? It's like none of us have figured it out.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  No, if I went back and watched like an Instagram story from two thousand and nineteen, I would die. I would die. I was out of control. Like I just used to say so many things like, stop talking. Okay, stop. Like not everything needs to be shared.

• 44:36Jay Shetty?

  One thing I want to dive into with you, we've talked about Ozempic, we've talked about pregnancy, we've talked about marriage and and of course, we can keep talking about those. But I think what often happens with someone like yourself, and I I'm projecting because I feel this happens to me sometimes. But I'm projecting this idea that people don't see the hard work from a business perspective, the strategy perspective, the sleepless nights, the growth, like you've built something incredible.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 45:04Jay Shetty?

  And it's shadowed, not in a bad way, but it's overshadowed by this amazing persona that you have. And your charisma and your aura and everything else, right? It's like it's that's what we're watching and that's what we're captivated by. But there's a really thoughtful business person behind it who's and I and I don't mean that from a, oh, you're just figuring out how to build a business.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  No, I know what you mean.

• 45:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I mean it from like a you've you've figured out how to turn a Tumblr.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:32Jay Shetty?

  Page into, you know.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  A business.

• 45:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly, which which is really amazing. And I think so many people today want to do that.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:39Jay Shetty?

  So I wanted to kind of go back to the start and ask you like, what did you want to be before Girl with No Job?

• 45:44Speaker 02

  That's a great question. I almost like didn't have time to figure it out. So I started this Tumblr in freshman year of college, which is when people figure out what they want to do and it varies slowly, but also quickly like became something I was making money off of. So much so, by the time I graduated, I was making like sponsored Instagram posts for a fee that would have been my salary if I ended up with like a job in media. And at the time, like content creation was not a job. So when I made the decision, it just made no sense, like to sit at a desk and earn a living that was. Comparatively small to what I was pulling from my Instagram, but people were just like, they couldn't believe it. And they're like, it's not going to last forever. And I'm like,

• 46:27Speaker 02

  maybe, but maybe what if I just ran with it? And it was really inconceivable to people that I was not getting a job post grad and that I would be on my phone. And I understand why, because right after that, I was making a really good living, but I was doing nothing. Like, I was home all day and I was watching a lot of TV and I was recapping it and writing funny blog posts and I was making money. But I was not doing anything. Like, I had no structure to my day. I did not set an alarm. And it was lovely, but it was not fulfilling. And I knew that it wasn't a sustainable way. And that's why when we started the podcast, I loved it so much for a million different reasons. But it gave me structure. It gave me a day. And now, even to this day, I very much operate like on Monday to Friday, nine to five. I work 40 hours a week like every other American. And I think some people run

• 47:10Speaker 02

  from that sort of convention. But when you didn't have it, it was kind of horrible. So I craved that sort of structure and stability. Like, seriously, if you're looking to answer an email from me after five o'clock, I'm not answering. I have boundaries and I love that my life kind of mirrors that conventional work life. But that was a goal that Jackie and I set, because this line of work, well, yes, it can be very lucrative. It is kind of nuts. And it can be a little unstable. You have a month where you get a ton of work and a month where you don't get. So it was fun for a girl who was 21, but I knew it wasn't going to be a sustainable way to live. But the funny thing is that I think there's a large misconception that I work an hour a day. People are always saying that to me. It's like when you say someone from SNL works an hour a week. Like, no, no, you see them an hour a week. You see me one hour a day on the show. But there's so much that goes

• 47:54Speaker 02

  into running a show of that size. And also, it's not the only thing that I do. I'm not bothered so much that people think I don't work. Like, whatever, you know? Like, sorry, you're dumb. You don't know how the industry works. Like, bitch, I work hard, okay?

• 48:06Jay Shetty?

  Have you ever had a real job?

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. Okay, so, yes, in the sense that throughout high school and like summers in high school, I was a camp counselor. I worked at a toy store when I went to college. All through four years of college, I worked. I had an internship, like a paid, five-day-a-week internship at a media company. It wasn't internship, but it was structured like a corporate job. So, yes, I did work in a corporate office for four years, never like full, full-time, because I was part-time student. And it probably would have worked to that media company post grad if I didn't decide to become a full time content creator. So like yes and no.

• 48:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What did you learn from the toy store, the internship?

• 48:45Speaker 02

  That working at a toy store was not for fucking me. Like, seriously, gift wrapping is hell on earth. I still can't do it. And honestly, when anybody asked me to wrap a gift, I actually have trauma from that fucking store.

• 48:56Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was horrible. Like that stupid gift wrapping section. Like, no matter how many times somebody showed me how to do it, like, I could not fucking do it.

• 49:04Jay Shetty?

  Here I am, trying to make this amazing point that you landed all these amazing.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Continue your point. Just no.

• 49:09Jay Shetty?

  I was trying to put forward this idea that maybe you picked up all these really cool skills that help you in your career today, but.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Actually, I will say, like, working at a toy store, like, having to talk to strangers, like, who you don't know, and, like, pretend like you know what you're talking about, that builds character, that builds, actually, like, a great personable vibe. In the corporate space, I don't feel like I learned much, honestly. I liked the free lunch. Like, it was amazing. It was one of those big companies that gives you free lunch. And there were snacks everywhere, like, free snacks. I was always eating goldfish and M and M's. And I liked, I don't know, actually, my sisters worked at the same company. It was this huge company with, like, different media companies within it, so they all worked at different companies, so we all would have lunch together. I have very fond memories of that time. And I think it's a good corporate, like, media, especially that's, like, a lot of women. It's a good environment to learn how to talk to people, learn how to deal with, like, workplace

• 49:58Speaker 02

  antics and people's personalities. And sometimes I do miss, like, I think there's a lot of stability that comes with a corporate job, especially when you're thinking about, like, motherhood. I mean, some of these bitches over here with their six months paid maternity leave, like, that is a joy. And their corporate health insurance, there are a lot of things about, like, what people consider a boring corporate life that actually, as somebody without a lot of, like, without a lot of that, I'm very envious of, especially when I'm, like, entering this phase of my life. Like, me and my husband both have our own companies. Like, we don't have maternity leave. We leave and the company suffers. Do you know what I mean?

• 50:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  There's no built in, we have our own two person health insurance. It's expensive and it sucks, okay? Like, people, there is a little bit of that privilege from the corporate life, and I know people who are in corporate would look at someone like me and be like, "Oh, I always wanted to be my own boss." And it's great. But you know, there's no insurance.

• 50:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, there's pros and cons either way.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  There is, a hundred percent. And I feel like I'm only, as I get older, appreciating the pros of that sort of, what people would say more stereotypically boring life.

• 50:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I think that stigma needs to go as well.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 50:56Jay Shetty?

  I think that there was this whole cultural shift towards entrepreneurship, quit your job, build your passion, da, da, da, da. And it's like, I don't think either is for everyone. And I think we've kind of made, like, I think about it.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  We've put more value on the latter, the entrepreneurship.

• 51:11Jay Shetty?

  Correct.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  But to be clear, I feel like we did people a disservice when we did that because there is something lovely about a boring job that doesn't keep you up all night, that you can set boundaries with, that pays, that makes, that pays your bills, and you don't owe any, you don't owe around the company. If things are going south, that's literally not my problem. Like, there is a piece in that.

• 51:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  Now, you don't have as much creative control, who cares?

• 51:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and also just like, I, I think about this very often, like, I couldn't do anything without my team.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:37Jay Shetty?

  My team are all employed.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:39Jay Shetty?

  Like, and it's like, I couldn't last without them, so.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Isn't that like, one of the best parts, though?

• 51:44Jay Shetty?

  It's amazing.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Of being a business owner, is like, other people making their living from you.

• 51:47Jay Shetty?

  I love it. It's the best feeling in the world.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  It's the craziest feeling.

• 51:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's the most fulfilling feeling. I, and I know I couldn't do anything without them, which is why I value, I'm like, are we gonna push entrepreneurship, you know, to the hill?

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:58Jay Shetty?

  But it's like, what would we do without our amazing team members? Like, I, I know I wouldn't survive. My chief of staff was like, unwell for like, a week. And I was just like, I was like, I don't know what to do.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  Right. No, that toxic, like, hustle culture entrepreneurship, I'm not a fan of.

• 52:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And, but was there ever a time you had to do it? Was there ever a time you did have to work 24/7?

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Before, when, when things started to really blow up for me, but it wasn't this like, standardized economy like it is now. Like, there's a formula. You blow up on Instagram, you get an agent, you get a manager, you get a rate card, you get a media kit, like, no, that was like, not the case for me. So when things started to work really quickly, I was doing all my own deals. I did not have a publicist, I did not have a manager, I did not have an agent, I didn't have an assistant. It was literally just me. And it was manageable because it was my full-time job, but I don't know shit about fuck. Like, I'm literally 17, like, somebody help. So, I was just kind of making it up as I went. And I think people really underestimated me because I was advocating on my own behalf. I was 18. I'm much better now, but I used to have like, a really thick, long And accent and I was just like every other word out of my mouth is like and totally and it's not necessarily giving you, you know, businesswoman.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  So I would get underestimated a lot and it was a unique time. Now, the girlies and boys, but mostly girlies, who end up doing what I do now, it's kind of all set up for them. But at the time, it wasn't a thing. People like a brand would reach out. And based on like if it was a brand I heard of, like one of the first brands I ever worked with was Burger King and they're like, how much would you want to? And I was like, a thousand dollars and they were like, okay. And I was like, bitch, a thousand dollars. I bought a purse. I was like, and then I forgot like I had to pay taxes, but whatever. Um, and that's another thing, by the way, when you do this line of work and nobody teaches you how to do your taxes. Not me getting a bill from the government like in 2018 for like a hundred thousand dollars and you don't pay taxes. Yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  And my biggest fear is going to jail. But yeah, that's another thing they don't tell you and nobody teaches you. You kind of just have to learn along the way. Now I feel like it's pretty set up where if you join this line of work, there are certain business managers and accounts who know how to do this. But at the time when I was getting started, it was like, girl, you're on your own. Good luck.

• 53:58Jay Shetty?

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• 54:43Jay Shetty?

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• 55:28Jay Shetty?

  but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home.

• 56:10Jay Shetty?

  That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Have you ever been close to going to jail?

• 56:19Speaker 02

  No, no. If only I was that interesting. Like, when I was a senior in high school, I went to go visit my sister Jackie at college, and it was a flight, so I packed up my things. I didn't have a, so I grew up in Manhattan, so I didn't have a license at the time, which used to make traveling really hard because I didn't have any form of identification. I used to give them my high school ID, they're like, "This is not legally admissible." So I'd be like, "I don't have a license, sorry, I'm literally 17 and I don't have a driver. I don't have a driver's license." And for some reason, they pulled my bag, and they were going through my wallet and they found my fake ID. And they were like, "I thought you didn't have..." Now, now I realize they were like doing this to scare me, but at the time, I thought I was really going to jail. They brought a cop out, she wants to call my parents.

• 56:55Jay Shetty?

  Oh my gosh.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  She's swiping my hands. You know when you ever get like that, and they're like, "You tested positive for explosives." I'm like, "Bitch, what are you talking about? I'm literally a high school student."

• 57:04Jay Shetty?

  Wait, how do you test positive for explosives?

• 57:06Speaker 02

  I don't know, I mean, I had gotten a manicure, so I imagine there was like some chemicals on my hands, but like, it was so, they were really trying to scare me. And this police officer was like, "Listen..." I think you're a good kid. I'm gonna let you go. And I ran for my fucking life. I was so afraid. But I was never, I didn't break the law. I didn't say that this was my ID. It could have been my cousin, Sandra. Like, it was the scared, most scared I've ever been in my life, and probably the closest I've ever gotten to going to jail, which is like, not that close.

• 57:30Jay Shetty?

  Still, it was scary.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  It was scary. And let it be a lesson to any of the minors listening, like, put your fake ID in your checked bag.

• 57:37Jay Shetty?

  Got it. Put your fake ID in your checked bag.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Don't say I never taught you anything.

• 57:42Jay Shetty?

  What advice would you have? Like, you were saying, like, it seems like, and I agree with you, there is more setup. We kind of, I think our careers actually, we didn't know each other then, but they took off around the same time. Mine was 2016 as well. I was a lot older. I was 28.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 57:55Jay Shetty?

  So 27, 28.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  So you had like a pretty good idea of the world.

• 57:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, to some degree, for sure. I mean, I'd never knew a person, I'd never known anyone who'd worked in entertainment.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:04Jay Shetty?

  Anyone who'd worked in media, anyone who'd done outside, anything outside of London. So it was a whole new world for me, completely. But you're right, there are more systems today than there were then. What advice would you have for people who are at the age you were when you first blew up, like 17, 18 years old? Because that's happening more and more now. Like, you were more of an anomaly.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  Yes. Now I'm old in the space. Yeah, I have two, a really hardcore piece, yeah, I mean, you're ancient, sorry. I have two extremely important pieces of advice. If you find yourself wanting to get into this line of work, like, I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you've done, delete all your old social media posts. Like, none of it is gonna age well. It's gonna come back to bite you in the ass, and it's gonna ruin your life. Like, if I had to go through what I went through, like, everybody found my old tweets, and they were like, oh my, she's fucking crazy. Delete your tweets. I can't believe people are still having their tweets. Girl, delete your tweets. Like, stop. That's the first. Second of all is, every dollar you make, put 50 cents in a savings account for your taxes. Because that's, depending on where you live, like, that's what it is. It's half. And the good thing is, sometimes you save too much, and then you get a little leftover. But just know, if somebody pays you $100, you got 50.

• 59:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, very pragmatic advice.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  Well, the taxes have ruined my life.

• 59:13Jay Shetty?

  Oh, tell me about it.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  When, when, before I had a business manager trying to do my own taxes with like an old school accountant who like, I think I got from like a family member, they had no idea what I did for a living. And so I was underpaying, I was underreporting, I was not getting any like 1099s from the brands that I work with. It was such a mess. It was the wild, wild west. So much so that years later, I got that huge bill and it was like the worst thing to ever happen to me. I almost had to go on a payment plan with the government. Like, it was so crazy. And I think that happens a lot in entertainment, especially just like new wave of social media entertainers. So finding a, an accountant, a business manager, or teaching yourself, that's fine. But as long as you're putting away half of what you make for taxes, like you're safe.

• 59:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Don't you think it's incredible how much you've learned in the last eight years?

• 59:54Speaker 02

  Yes. Sometimes I go back and like read my old emails of like me like talking to people and I'm like, girl, that's the worst email ever. But it's like so cool to see how different I speak now and how I'm, I think a lot smarter and able to advocate on my own behalf and, and that little girl sending those emails from her couch, like that's who I am.

• 1:00:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  That's me.

• 1:00:15Jay Shetty?

  Did you ever pretend to be own manager or agent?

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  A thousand percent.

• 1:00:18Jay Shetty?

  What was the name?

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  Rebecca. I was always pretending to be my own assistant, like trying to get dinner reservations, trying to set up calls. Claudia's available. Meanwhile, it's like literally me.

• 1:00:26Jay Shetty?

  And it worked?

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:00:28Jay Shetty?

  It worked. Did they negotiate on your behalf sometimes?

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Well, I actually was always negotiating on my own behalf and I, cause I always found that like so many of the girls who worked at media companies, worked at agencies, these account managers, were followers of mine, were listeners to the toast. And that's always worked on my own behalf. Actually, I think like a huge demographic of my following is media girls. Girls who, who work at brands, who work at agencies. And so it's always kind of benefited me to lead with me. Because they're excited to work and they want to make it work. And look, it's Turdy on the other line.

• 1:00:55Jay Shetty?

  If someone wants to be the next you and start the toast and, you know, start their version.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Don't, don't. Everybody's set. The toast isn't off.

• 1:01:05Jay Shetty?

  What advice would you have for someone who's listening to you, watching you going, "I want to build that, I want to create that"? Where should they start? What should they think about?

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Well, I would just get started. I think a lot of people are always talking about they're like making strategy plans and outlines for projects. Just get the project up and running. You can record a podcast on your phone. The voice memo app actually is very high quality audio. It's good enough for a starting podcast. Then you can start to make money, invest in the Shure microphones that everybody has. But before then, like, just get started. People are always like throwing the lunch parties for things that don't exist yet. Like, just get to work. Do it.

• 1:01:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Don't overthink it.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  No, and it's also like it's a podcast, okay? It's not like the nuclear program. It's just, just talk.

• 1:01:42Jay Shetty?

  What's the nuclear program?

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't know. I was trying to sound smart. I couldn't think of anything.

• 1:01:49Jay Shetty?

  No, I love it. I couldn't agree with you more as well. I think there's just such a, I feel like we're all stifling ourselves by procrastinating.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  No, we're afraid of being judged, right? We want to put something out that's perfect. But it's like, you don't get far without people making fun of you. Like, I'm sure my old posts used to get sent around my high school, like, "Oh my god, look what Claudia's doing, cringe, cringe, cringe." Well, it's not so cringe anymore, like, girl, because I'm successful and you're not. But that's just part, if you can't take being mocked, like, I wish that weren't the case, because people are cruel, and it is what it is. And think about how you talk to your friends about people on social media. Someone's going to talk about you like that, and you'd be okay with that.

• 1:02:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Did you lose any friends along the way?

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  No, actually, I've always been really good. I've never been that girl with like a thousand friends. I've always had like five really good friends, and they're the same friends.

• 1:02:30Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  I love that too. They're, I have like the best friends. But, you know, you do notice people treating you differently, like, peripherally. And whenever anybody like started being extra nice or whatever, I always accepted it. Like, "Sure, you want me to come to your Hampton's house? I'll be there." But, you know, you got to keep note of people who only started acting that way at a certain time in your life.

• 1:02:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is definitely that switch. And, yeah, I'm the same as you. I have all my same friends from back in the day. I can't wait. I literally fly to London tonight to see everyone.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  It's the best.

• 1:03:01Jay Shetty?

  Looking forward to just, yeah, just catching up, kicking it. And it's one of those things that I feel so fortunate that I had such a good group of friends.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:09Jay Shetty?

  Before everything took off. You must feel that with Ben too, because it was around the same time.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  So I was like, yeah, I guess I met Ben freshman year, and freshman year is also when I started my blog. I don't think it really took off till a year later, but he's been there since the very beginning.

• 1:03:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. How much do you think that?

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  That's a good question. Well, I often like thank the Lord that I don't have to date. At all, period, because I think dating in this day and age is horrible, but also like with my weird job, like I think it would just, I wouldn't even know how to explain it to people and like I would just feel so like awkward and embarrassed. So I'm like grateful for that. But again, I think having this really stable force in my life and Ben, when it came to, when it came to like, you know, how I felt about myself, how I felt about my job, like I think stability is so beneficial when you're trying to build a business and like having someone to come home to and having a very stable personal life, I think it allowed me to be a little nutty in different areas of my life, like my job. Cause I didn't have to worry that I was gonna come home and it would be chaos. Like Ben was always there. Just, how was your day?

• 1:04:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think that's what it is. You just hit the nail on the head. I think there's certain stages in life where you go, if I decide this, it now no longer takes up any space. I felt that way about getting married. I felt that way about deciding which city we were gonna live in, because when we first moved to the States, we lived in New York for two years. Then we moved to LA, we've been there for six years. When we decided we were living in LA and we got our place, it was like another thing.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  Settled.

• 1:04:26Jay Shetty?

  There was a settled that freed up space. And I think we're currently living at a time where we struggle to make decisions.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:04:33Jay Shetty?

  Because we don't want to kind of, you know, put our roots down, but actually that creates more chaos in our lives.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  A thousand percent. And I think we also live in a culture that values that sort of like wanderlust. So I live in my car and I don't care. I don't have a job. Well, I like a little bit of structure, a little bit boring, a little bit settled. I think that's me getting older, but I also think it's just like, there's value in also leading a very sort of ordinary, that's one of my sister's favorite quotes. I forget, it's like, you know, being ordinary in your personal life, so you can be violent in your creative or artistic life. Cause it's like, you can't have a million balls in the air at one time, but so to have a very, um, I don't want to say regular, because I feel like that has a negative connotation, but like a very peaceful, very settled, private life, it really does allow you to, you know, for me, it's my work, for anyone, it could be something else, just to like, I don't know, fuck shit up, you know?

• 1:05:26Jay Shetty?

  What's the hardest part about working with family?

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  There isn't one.

• 1:05:31Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, and I'm unique in that.

• 1:05:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's very unique.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  I think some people have different family issues. I could never, I mean, look at how many female podcasting duos that it's every day. We're talking about another one breaking up. Me and Jackie will be podcasting till the day that we die. Like, we are bound by blood. She's the only person I can really talk to honestly. Like, I think a lot of people think I'm very confrontational because I'm loud and like a little aggressive. But actually, like, if I have a problem with you, I'll just start crying. Like, I cannot talk to people. Except my sister, I could say whatever I want. And it just, like, I don't have a single complaint about working with family.

• 1:06:03Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I know.

• 1:06:05Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  Me too. To some people, they're like so confused by it. For me, I wouldn't have it any other way.

• 1:06:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I love that for you. I'm glad. I mean, it's, it's the best thing when it works.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, and I know I'm special and lucky that it, that it does work.

• 1:06:19Jay Shetty?

  How has your relationship had to change? Like, what's it meant to keep that up? Like, what have you had to do in order to have a sister relationship?

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:06:28Jay Shetty?

  And a business partner relationship? Because, or are all your conversations always about the podcast?

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it's so intertwined. But interestingly enough, when Jackie and I were growing up, we're four sisters total from top to bottom. Like, there's six years between us, and we're all really tight. And we were all really tight growing up. You know, there were different dynamics as we got older. Like, in the beginning, it was always the two older sisters and the two younger sisters, me and Margo. Like, we were just sort of divided by age, and Olivia and Jackie would, like, leave us out. And me and Margo were just, like, sharing a room. So we were like, okay, whatever, I guess it's just us. And then as we got older, my interests started to align a lot more with Olivia's. And then Jackie and Margo became, like, really similar and really close. So the dynamics of what we shifted, but the dynamics when we were kids were never Jackie and I. We actually probably got along the least. We didn't fight, we didn't hate each other. We just were not drawn to one another. So I would say we were probably the least close out of all four. Not that we had issues, but we were just not.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  I don't think we understood each other. Jackie's very reserved. Jackie's very quiet, but not shy, quiet. Me, I'm spreading my legs for everybody. I'm like, what's up? Who you want to talk to? Let's go here, let's go there. So I think that I thought she was like, you know, weird and she thought I was weird. We didn't understand one another. And then when we started to work together, our differences ended up, you know, working in our favor. It made the conversations on the podcast more dynamic. And we just very naturally became so close through work, but also we were talking all the time, you know?

• 1:07:52Jay Shetty?

  So wait, when you're, when you're putting out an episode, how much of it have you talked about before?

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Zero.

• 1:07:57Jay Shetty?

  Zero, literally zero.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Zero. Every single episode is completely off the cuff.

• 1:08:00Jay Shetty?

  Everything about it.

• 1:08:01Speaker 02

  We have like five topics that we need to hit every day, whatever the, the news of the day is, but everything else is completely off the cuff. Like we've never once had a conver- Sometimes we used to sit on FaceTime for like an hour before we would start recording to get set up and we would just end up talking and we actually felt like it was ruining the show. She calls me at 10:30 and we start recording at 10:31. Like we do not, because we don't want to waste any of the, it's, we, we'll never recreate a conversation. That's so fake. Like we just go for it.

• 1:08:24Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing. So that way you're really catching up in that time too.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:08:28Jay Shetty?

  Because you're avoiding talking the night before.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:08:30Jay Shetty?

  You saying what you did.

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  And she lives in a different state, so we have a lot to catch up on.

• 1:08:34Jay Shetty?

  How, when did she move and how, when did you guys?

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  She moved, I think 2021 and I was like, okay, it's the end of the show. Like we'll, we'll do remote, but who the hell wants to listen to remote podcasters? Like it's so COVID-y and it sucks. And I knew that it was the beginning of the end and I was freaking a little bit. And let me tell you, it's the best thing to ever happen to us. One, um, because of COVID, we were forced to really invest in the tech. So there's actually no delay. There's no lag. A lot of people don't know that we live in separate states. So I think a lot of the times people are shocked to find out that Jackie doesn't live in New York anymore. Which makes me so happy. And two, a little bit of the distance physically has benefited us greatly because we're no longer on top of each other and we get to like, you say, have these natural catch-up conversations that-

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  We might not be having if she lived down the block from me, which she did for many years. So it's actually been the best thing to happen to the show and I thought it was gonna be like the beginning of the end.

• 1:09:30Jay Shetty?

  What makes you feel like when you've recorded a great episode, how do you know?

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  Oh my God, when we just laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. Like sometimes we are just so silly that I don't even think we're speaking English anymore. Like it's just that sisterly thing where you really only act so nuts with your sister. Those are the best episodes, like true belly laughs.

• 1:09:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And that is something you can only do with someone you know very

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:09:51Jay Shetty?

  Very well.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:09:52Jay Shetty?

  And you guys call each other afterwards and like, oh my God, you are so funny.

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  That's a good question. No, actually. It's so routine to us now.

• 1:09:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's become, yeah.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  That's kind of sad. We should be like, listen, that was so funny. Um, no, we don't do that.

• 1:10:05Jay Shetty?

  But it kind of protects why that hour is so good.

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:10:08Jay Shetty?

  Right? Like that's the point, like.

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  And we're not trying so hard. Like we're just talking.

• 1:10:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. That's, it's such a special skill. It's actually such a special talent and skill.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  I agree that podcasting is a skill and it's a talent. Cause I think every, I mean, the running joke is like, you know, everybody has a podcast, not everybody should, but there are a lot of failed podcasts. And I think that a lot of people think like, yeah, I could talk for an hour a week. Well, I actually don't think you could. It is an art, especially with a co-host, especially as an interviewer, when to talk, when to listen, when to stop. And so a lot of people don't possess that skill. And, and I appreciate you saying that because it's definitely a skill, the same way like, you know, any other job is a skill. Like if you're a mathematician, you know, you, you need a certain set of skills and podcasting definitely requires that too.

• 1:10:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I, I just like to point it out because I think we just, it, it is that I, I have so many friends who are just like, I remember when, when I first started creating content and my friends are like, oh, we can do that. And, and then it was like this whole journey where everyone realizes that it's different. And I think with you, because it's so natural and because it's so off the cuff, it can often be, you can kind of be like, oh yeah, well that's whatever. But it's like, no, no, no, there's, there's a real talent, there's a skill there.

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:11:13Jay Shetty?

  How much have you practiced over the years? Or was this who you were at school, with your friends? Like is this just who you've been? Where was the training? Where were the reps?

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  It's, this is always who I've been, like very, like

• 1:11:25Jay Shetty?

  Just born this way.

• 1:11:26Speaker 02

  Leading with, like, I've always loved attention. I've always loved to talk. I've always loved to make people laugh. But I do think that I have practiced and rehearsed a little bit in recent years. Just knowing when to listen. That's always been my, um, that's the biggest critique people have of me on the show and they're totally valid in that. I never let my sister talk. I talk over people. I'm sure I've done it to you. I'm so sorry. Like, and I'm really trying. Um, it's one of my worst skills personally and professionally. I do it at a dinner party. It's so annoying. And like when other people do it, I'm like, oh my God, she didn't shut up. And people are like, bitch, that's you. So I am working on that. I used to be much worse. So it's a work in progress, but it's important to know like your skills, but it's also important to know what you're not good at. And I know that I'm not good at knowing when it's my time to listen.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  Like right now.

• 1:12:11Jay Shetty?

  Have you ever measured how fast you talk?

• 1:12:14Speaker 02

  No, but I know it's insane. And if you can believe it.

• 1:12:16Jay Shetty?

  It's insane.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  I used to talk so much faster.

• 1:12:18Jay Shetty?

  And it's funny because me and you, I'm at the opposite end. Like I usually talk so slowly.

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're very measured.

• 1:12:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no. So it's so funny because when we're together, I'm just like, I'm speeding up slightly, just to, you know.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  Jay, I need you to listen to episodes of The Toast from like 2019. I used to swallow full paragraphs. Like, I don't even know what I was saying. You think it's fast now. To me, this is me being so much better.

• 1:12:37Jay Shetty?

  It's amazing.

• 1:12:38Speaker 02

  It used to be really bad.

• 1:12:39Jay Shetty?

  It's amazing. Have you, you talked about there like wanting attention and I think anyone who's doing something publicly, naturally, there is a part of them that enjoys the attention, enjoys. I, I always say like, I love when people come up to me on the street and say hello. I tell people in the podcast to say, hey, if you see me, come and say hello. I want to say hello to you. Uh, I, I really appreciate the feedback and the energy I get. I had a, I was walking a few years ago now, quite a while ago with one of my clients who's a well-known actor. He gets recognized a hundred times for every one time I get recognized. So super well-known and successful. And like, he'd get stopped. I'd get stopped once. He'd get stopped multiple times. I'd get stopped once. And I asked him like, how does that feel? And he said, you know what? He goes, Jay, you're really lucky. And I was like, why? And he said, you're lucky

• 1:13:24Jay Shetty?

  because people stop me for who I pretend to be and people stop me for who you are. And I was like, wow, like that really stayed with me. Yeah, it really stayed with me. It was one of those moments.

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  And you're not going to tell us who it was?

• 1:13:34Jay Shetty?

  No, I can't. Uh, but.

• 1:13:35Speaker 02

  You are no fun.

• 1:13:37Jay Shetty?

  But it's I that's my private part.

• 1:13:39Speaker 02

  Of course, of course. You'll tell me after we stop recording.

• 1:13:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but but that was one of my favorite moments. It stayed with me ever since that. And I'm like, wait a minute, like, and same with you, like, people, when they're coming up to you and saying the toast is amazing. Or when I keep hearing, Jay, we heard you on the toast. It was so fun. And, you know, when I get that feedback from people, I'm thinking, oh, wow, like, you're doing that. How have you been careful about your relationship with attention so that it doesn't get unhealthy? How have you thought about that?

• 1:14:02Speaker 02

  You know what's so funny? The more attention you get, the the less you want it. Um, and so I think as somebody who was an attention whore, I was an attention seeking whore growing up my whole life, to end up in a line of work where you get a lot of it, it's fulfilling for a second. And then it's like enough. And I actually feel like, I say I'm an attention whore, I'm actually really not so much anymore. Um, I like, I got the attention that I wanted and it felt good, but it didn't solve all my problems like I thought it was going to. So not that anybody who's, you know, is an attention seeker should get the attention because then it'll, it's kind of a problem that fixes itself. Um, but I'm really not, um, I think when people meet me like on the street, sometimes they're a little, uh,

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  taken aback how actually I'm not like a dancing monkey, like, I'm not so crazy all the time, like, making jokes on like, I I actually, and definitely as I've gotten older, like, a little bit more pulled back. You know, I'm still a little nuts more than the average person, but not not, I think, as much as people would expect.

• 1:14:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What part of your confidence are you still working on?

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  I'm really not, honestly. Like, I feel very confident in all aspects of my life. Like, I know that I'm great at my job. I know I'm a great wife. I know I'm literally gorgeous. Like, I don't feel like I'm lacking confidence in any area, honestly.

• 1:15:13Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:15:14Speaker 02

  I have a lot of other problems, though, but not that.

• 1:15:16Jay Shetty?

  Like?

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Oh, girl, where do I begin? Okay, um, what would I say is my biggest problem?

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  I actually would say my biggest problem is sometimes my humor can be mean, and I think that's like the worst type of humor. And I'm actually really working on it. Um, like, when you poke fun at someone, sometimes I feel like I really take it too far. Like, it's okay to, like, think something and not say it because I've noticed that a lot, that I sometimes border on mean. And I don't like being mean. That's not funny to me. I think some people feel like they have to be mean in order to be funny, and that's not true. I can be funny without being mean.

• 1:15:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that's something you're working on.

• 1:15:51Speaker 02

  Yes, like, sometimes I'll say something, I'll be like, damn, that was rough, you know, like, and and so I'm aware of it. And I'm really trying to stop.

• 1:15:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:58Speaker 02

  Who knows if I will.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  At least I'm aware of it.

• 1:16:02Jay Shetty?

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• 1:17:37Jay Shetty?

  You love the 1% evil. It's fun.

• 1:17:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, it's a... No, that's so beautiful to hear. I mean, to hear you say, hey, you know what? I'm actually really confident. I love hearing that. I love it when someone says that because...

• 1:17:50Speaker 02

  It's a journey.

• 1:17:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. No, but but I mean, you've not that you've arrived because there is no arrival, but the idea that you feel that way.

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  I mean, that doesn't mean that like I don't see a picture of myself and like literally want to die, but I don't try not to place too much value on that because there are other parts of me that are worthy, probably more worthy than than how I look.

• 1:18:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:09Speaker 02

  But I am a shallow person. I do place a lot of emphasis and value on my physical appearance.

• 1:18:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Is that something you've ever tried to change your shift or you've just accepted?

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  It's actually like a new thing. I think since losing weight, I've kind of become obsessed with it. And that's like one thing that I've gained during my weight loss journey that I don't like. The obsession with how I look. Because before, like I knew I didn't look great. So like, whatever, you know, I worked on other things. But then I started to really like the way that I looked on the Ozempic journey and I kind of became obsessed with it.

• 1:18:36Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  Like I used to weigh myself and be like, I mean, it's not great, but whatever. Then I would lose weight and when I would weigh myself and it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I would be so hard on myself and I used to not care about that. So that's actually something I'm working on. But with a pregnancy, like it's a problem for later me.

• 1:18:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:18:52Speaker 02

  I can't fix everything all at once. Okay. I'm not Jay Shetty.

• 1:18:54Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, trust me. I can't either. But no, but it's interesting how sometimes the things we work on more become our greatest stresses.

• 1:19:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:19:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  That's definitely how I feel with my weight.

• 1:19:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And and it's one of those things that it's but the great thing is you're aware. And I think that's what I always think about. I remember when Kevin Hart came on the podcast, he was talking about how in a very different context, but he was talking about how like, some of the mistakes he made and not comparing at all, but he was talking about some of the mistakes he made and they came from a place of him feeling like this was never going to go away. And then he was like, now I need to deal with the fact that one day I may not be as famous or successful as whatever. And it was just really interesting him saying that when I still think he's crushing it and killing it. And he's like, you know.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  But how we perceive people versus how they perceive themselves is so interesting.

• 1:19:39Jay Shetty?

  Correct. Yeah. And that's what I find is always fascinating because you think someone's peaking.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. Living the best life.

• 1:19:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And in and in their head, they're like, oh, I'm insignificant right now.

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. But it does. Not that you want people to feel poorly about themselves, but seeing someone whom you perceive to be on top of the world, talk about how they perceive themselves and it's not necessarily like the best. There is like solace in that.

• 1:19:59Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  Like even people who are killing it and rich and famous, like even they hate themselves. So who cares if I do?

• 1:20:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:07Jay Shetty?

  I wanted to end with talking about, you know, you talked a lot about last year losing your dog.

• 1:20:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:20:12Jay Shetty?

  I think.

• 1:20:13Speaker 02

  No one prepares you for it.

• 1:20:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I had so many friends who sadly went through the same thing in the last 12 months. I don't know what it was about the last 12 months and maybe it's sadly always the case, but at least in my life, I had so many people telling me that. Um, I had my business manager, a really close friend, like just, just so many people in life. We had a Taylor Hill who came on the podcast and talked about the loss of her dog Tate and just how hard that was for her. What has been your greatest lesson for grief in that journey?

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  So funny because you know, I lost my dad when I was in the eighth grade or excuse me, the ninth grade, like literally the first month of high school, worst time ever. And it was extremely hard and I actually feel like being younger, um, I was able to bounce back a little bit more. I remember going through that and really, I had just transferred schools and then my dad passed and I really didn't want to be known as like the girl with the dead dad. So I, I remember making an active effort to get back to my life and I leaned so heavily into my sisters and that's really why my sisters and I are so close. And my friends and extra, and I really, and that's just being a kid, right? You're more susceptible, you're more adaptable, like you just bounce back. And I've found like when, you know, friends of mine now are losing parents, like it's so much harder. Like you're an adult, you understand the importance of life, you have kids of your own.

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  And so, not that it's the same at all, but like losing my dog at 29 was like the first experience with grief as an adult. And let me tell you, it is so much harder and this was, you know, a dog, not a human being. The difference was, and I, I have long wondered, um, my dad passed away overnight, like he was not sick. He had a heart attack and he died before he even got to the hospital, like completely kind of freak accident. And people always talk about like, is it better, you know, for someone to die like that? Or to get a chance to say goodbye to somebody who has like a terminal illness, but you have to watch them suffer for months. And I feel like there's no right answer, just everybody thinks their own. And I never really knew what the answer was, but with Theo, he, um, had terminal cancer. I mean, we ended up putting him down, but so we lived with the cancer, I want to say for like two or three weeks, like really not a long time.

• 1:22:08Speaker 02

  It was the worst time of my life, like it was worse than when he actually had died, like seeing something you, someone you love so much, be in such pain. It's not worth being able to say goodbye, honestly. So oddly, that experience brought me peace with my dad. Like I like, yeah, I didn't get to say goodbye, but like, I didn't have to watch him suffer like that's it's definitely worse. And so the older I get, the actually, the harder grief is, you know, like, I remember getting married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't going to be there. And feeling like this was so unfair, but I hadn't really felt that anger up until that point. Like the older you get, the more important life moments, marriage, kids, you realize like how much you need a parent.

• 1:22:49Speaker 02

  And so as a kid, like, yeah, okay, he's not at my soccer game, but like you just are, you're more resilient as a kid, you really are. And so going through grief as an adult is 45 times harder. And that was just with my dog, you know, whom I loved more than anything, but a dog is not a person. And it was the most challenging thing. I actually don't even remember it. I blacked out that part of my life. It's coming up on a year, actually, like this week. It was the hardest thing I'd ever been through in my life. Like seriously, I like, I, I can't believe, I don't even think about that time because it was so, it was traumatizing.

• 1:23:20Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. That's so profound, though, the connection between the two.

• 1:23:23Speaker 02

  I know. Well, it was, they were so polar opposite. It's like, would I, I think I actually would have preferred just like to take Theo to the doctor and have him die. Like the three weeks of diapers of medic, oh my God, it was horrible. And I felt like I was doing the wrong thing because, you know, it's cruel to keep a dog like that alive for your own. They're so clearly in pain. It's the right thing to do to put them down. And if you're selfishly keeping them, and I said, I'm not going to do that. And so when we woke up one morning, it was so clear that he was suffering. We were like, listen, this is cruel. We're keeping him alive for us. Like, we knew we had to do, do that. And with my dad, like I had always felt like, oh my God, I never got to say goodbye.

• 1:24:02Speaker 02

  It was, you know, hi one day, bye the next. But what Theo, the passing of Theo really taught me is like, honestly, it's better. It is, I think.

• 1:24:12Jay Shetty?

  What did girl with a dead dad like mean to you? Like, what did that kind of like, what did that symbolize for you that you didn't want to be?

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  You know, I just remember in middle school, there was a girl um whose dad had died and her, she was in my grade and then her brother was in my sister's grade. And it was just kind of like the thing people said, do you know what I mean?

• 1:24:29Jay Shetty?

  Like pointing and saying?

• 1:24:30Speaker 02

  No, not pointing, but like if you overheard like another parent talking, oh, did you hear? It was just kind of what, what, you know, they were led with. And I didn't want that. I wanted to be a girl who was funny, a girl who was good at soccer, a girl who was beautiful, like literally anything. I did not want to have that to be the thing like, oh, did you hear about that Austrian girl? Her father died. Like, I didn't want that to be the first thing people said about me. So I remember making a conscious effort to just like bounce back and, and it did work for, for a period of time.

• 1:24:56Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. I can't, I can't imagine how challenging it is to, you know, be going, be giving birth, having lost and then...

• 1:25:03Speaker 02

  Let me tell you, it sucks. Like, and I see Ben, who has both parents, I'm so happy for him, but I'm jealous.

• 1:25:08Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. Yeah, naturally.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think that's bad.

• 1:25:12Jay Shetty?

  No, no, of course not. It's definitely not bad.

• 1:25:14Speaker 02

  And they're the best, Ben's parents, like his dad is like always inviting me out on Father's Day, like, but you know, a parent is a parent.

• 1:25:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, for sure. Thank you for sharing.

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:25:24Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for being open. It's uh, I'm hoping that, yeah, I'm hoping that people who've been through similar things or, you know, I, I know plenty of people in my life who lost a parent early and it's, it's something that's not talked about enough online. Like, you don't, you don't really hear about it. Like, it's, it's kind of like something you talk about in therapy and nowhere else.

• 1:25:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just like hard to talk about. Nobody wants to be crying all the time. And I think that no matter what stage of your grief that you're at, like you can't talk about it without crying. That doesn't mean that you're not healed. It's just sad. Like, it's, and I don't want to be sad. Like, that's my whole thing. Like, I love being happy. I love making people laugh. I love laughing. Like, if I'm laughing, I'm so happy. So I hate to like sit around. And that's why, like, I know when I talk about this on the podcast, people don't like it, but I don't do therapy. Not for any reason. I'm not like against it. I, I know it's really powerful for a lot of people, but I've never really had a hard time communicating. And I'm very blessed that, like, I have a lot of people in my life who I feel completely open. And comfortable opening up to. And I know that's a privilege that not a lot of people have. Um, but I also like, I don't know, I just don't want to spend my life being sad.

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  Like, the world is sad enough, like, my, I wake up every day with the, the goal of like making people laugh. Like, I like to be joyous and spread joy and, I don't know, sitting in the therapist's office for an hour a week, like crying, like, oh my God, like, seriously, I can't.

• 1:26:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, no, and I, and I think that everyone has their different coping mechanisms, like you said, and for some people, that is the only place they have.

• 1:26:48Speaker 02

  To open up.

• 1:26:48Jay Shetty?

  A safe space and a space where they don't feel judged and a space where they don't feel, you know, looked at a certain way because their family, friends may be that way.

• 1:26:56Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:26:57Jay Shetty?

  And, and it's beautiful that you don't have that. I was gonna ask you, what's been your, have you thought a lot about like, your energy, baby's energy, like what, like walk me through that?

• 1:27:07Speaker 02

  Yes, I have, a lot, because, you know, people tell me that I'm kind of like a baby whisperer. Cause I love to sing and I love to dance and I love to like, I'm obsessed with babies. And that's what babies love and that's what babies need, like their first couple of months, always looking for somebody to sing and dance to them. And so that's the type of mom I want to be, like, super joyous, super like, always singing. Um, I don't know if you follow Jessie J, the singer on Instagram.

• 1:27:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  But she had, okay, so she had a baby and like, she's always singing to her baby on Instagram. Now, I know she has like one of the best voices in the world and I don't, but like, I'm, I'm gonna be Jessie J. Like, I'm gonna be singing to my baby and my baby's gonna think I have the most amazing voice, because my baby's gonna be my number one fan.

• 1:27:44Jay Shetty?

  It's gonna be so funny if they don't.

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  Oh my God, stop, I'll be so upset if like every time I sing, the baby cries.

• 1:27:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well, they'll love it till they're like four.

• 1:27:50Speaker 02

  Oh, of course, no, I'm talking about like year one.

• 1:27:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, year one, year one's, one, one fan for one year is, is good enough. I love that, I love that. And have you thought about whether you're gonna be sharing baby journey online and?

• 1:28:02Speaker 02

  I have thought about it. Um, I definitely want to share my journey. Um, I'm pretty against, you know, putting your kids on social media. I don't judge other people who do, but I'm not going to. And I feel like I see a trend of people sharing less and actually pulling their kids off social media because the dangers of it are like so obvious.

• 1:28:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I know, that's something me and Riley talk about a lot, like it's.

• 1:28:21Speaker 02

  I would love to.

• 1:28:22Jay Shetty?

  It's one of our discussion points.

• 1:28:23Speaker 02

  If the internet wasn't such a disgusting place, I would love to, like have fun, but no, we can't have nice things, people are disgusting and absolutely not.

• 1:28:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, it's challenging, it's, it's such a. Yeah, that's, that's the hard part, right? That's the hard part, that it's like, in the same way as you wouldn't just put your kid up somewhere physically in that way that they're exposed to anyone and everyone.

• 1:28:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they just actually passed that law in California about like family channels. And Demi Lovato was a big part of it of like just child actors, but also child like family channels, like basically exploiting your kids on social media for money. They're, they're all still actively happening, but I feel like in 10, 15 years, like we are going to be hearing like the most craziest stories about kids who were forced to be on like YouTube family channels. It's disgraceful, um, but it's also a slippery slope, like, you know, like you start posting your kids and that's the most engaging content, so you post more and more and more. And then you rely on it to pay your bills, so you're yelling at your kids to smile for the thumbnail and I never want, I never want to be that.

• 1:29:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, it's great that you guys have sat because it's hard.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  Actually, I haven't even talked to Ben about it, but I don't care what he says.

• 1:29:20Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:29:21Speaker 02

  I'm sure he'll agree with me.

• 1:29:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:23Speaker 02

  But we haven't had like a full conversation about it.

• 1:29:25Jay Shetty?

  Okay, good to know, good to know.

• 1:29:26Speaker 02

  So he'll be hearing about this on the Jay Shetty podcast.

• 1:29:29Jay Shetty?

  Is this usually how it goes?

• 1:29:30Speaker 02

  No, actually, certain things I feel really strongly about and I say, Ben, like, this is what we're doing, certain things he feels super strongly about, I'm like, okay. Sometimes we both don't know how to feel and there are people in our life whose opinions we like, respect and will call them and ask and, and get their opinions and we'll come to a decision together. It just depends on what the topic is, you know?

• 1:29:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, that's fair. If you feel strongly enough, it's a rule and.

• 1:29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's important to know, like as a half of a part, like a half of a marriage, like if there are certain things you don't have like strong feelings about, but your partner does, like, so let them have that one. And then when you have strong feelings about something and they don't, they will let you have it, like that's the whole, you know, shtick with compromise, but also, um, knowing when you don't know, like some, all of this is new to me, motherhood, pregnancy. And so knowing that I have no experience and talking to people who do and if I trust them and I think that like their values align with mine, taking their advice, um, but like it's important to know, like when you don't know enough.

• 1:30:26Jay Shetty?

  Claudia, you are, you're one of the most fascinating people.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:30:30Jay Shetty?

  I've ever met, you are hilarious, you're smart, profound today at times.

• 1:30:35Speaker 02

  I really didn't want to cry, but it is what it is.

• 1:30:37Jay Shetty?

  No, I, I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable with us and showing that soft side.

• 1:30:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 1:30:43Jay Shetty?

  You know, like for people to be able to see.

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  You can't put Turney in a box, like she is going to surprise you.

• 1:30:48Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 1:30:49Jay Shetty?

  Well, Claudia, it's been such a joy talking to you.

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:30:52Jay Shetty?

  We end every episode with a final five.

• 1:30:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:30:54Jay Shetty?

  These have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. Not a Claudia sentence.

• 1:30:58Speaker 02

  Okay. Oh, I promise I will do one word.

• 1:31:00Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yeah. One word or one sentence.

• 1:31:02Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:31:02Jay Shetty?

  But but not a sentence at a hundred miles per hour where you squeezed in seventy nine words.

• 1:31:06Speaker 02

  Oh, but not Jay calling me out. Okay.

• 1:31:07Jay Shetty?

  All right. Okay, yeah, I'm not judging you.

• 1:31:09Speaker 02

  No, no, of course not.

• 1:31:10Jay Shetty?

  Okay, so question number one. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:31:15Speaker 02

  Um, this isn't like, you know, a curated sentence, so I'm just gonna like speak. And I think it's something I've realized as I've gotten older, especially as like a woman in the industry. You feel really competitive with like other people. I feel now like I like to work to live and not live to work. Like, I just would like to make a living. I don't need to be the biggest podcaster. I don't need to be the number one selling comedian. I just would like to provide for my family. I think when you get really caught up in like the hustle culture, it's good to have ambition, of course. But what used to be important to me is actually really not important to me anymore. Now, like, just a job is a job. It's to provide, and that's it.

• 1:31:48Jay Shetty?

  Great sentence.

• 1:31:49Speaker 02

  Thanks. Oh, God, I forgot about the sentence. Okay, sorry. I'm good.

• 1:31:52Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, it's well explained. I would have asked you to explain. Uh, question number two. What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:31:58Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, there is a, okay, sorry, it's gonna be more than one sentence. There is a phrase that I hate. It's called, um, like, being realistic is the quickest path to mediocrity. Like, I so disagree with that. I think being realistic is so important, like, so important.

• 1:32:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, good answer. Uh, question number three. What excites you most about motherhood?

• 1:32:14Speaker 02

  I'm such an affectionate person. Like, I love all my nieces and nephews who are growing older now. They're like starting to hate it, but like I cover them in kisses. Like, I just am obsessed with kisses and hugs and like, this baby like is gonna, like, this baby's gonna love me more than anyone. It'll probably end up liking Ben more. But this baby like is mine, you know, and I can kiss it as much as I want.

• 1:32:33Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Uh, question number four. What are you most excited to see about Ben becoming a dad?

• 1:32:39Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, like, I just know Ben is gonna be the best, the best, like, most affectionate. The kids are gonna love him. They're gonna like him so much more. They're gonna go to him. Like, I don't know what exactly I'm most looking forward to, but I feel a lot of peace in knowing that I'm bringing a baby into the world with like, someone who's seriously gonna be the best dad on the planet.

• 1:32:57Jay Shetty?

  Uh, fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:33:05Speaker 02

  Um, it should be. Absolute law that everybody listens to the toast every single morning.

• 1:33:11Jay Shetty?

  And then on purpose.

• 1:33:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah, actually, no, this is my answer, not on purpose. Sorry, just the toast.

• 1:33:17Jay Shetty?

  Oh, thanks. All right, Claudia.

• 1:33:19Speaker 02

  No, it should be law, like it should be NPR, it should be public radio.

• 1:33:22Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Yeah, that's a great law.

• 1:33:23Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 1:33:24Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Thank you.

• 1:33:25Speaker 02

  And then I ultimately, you know, that affects my bottom line.

• 1:33:28Jay Shetty?

  Claudia, thank you so much. I loved every moment of this.

• 1:33:31Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 1:33:32Jay Shetty?

  Thank you. If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.

• 1:33:42Speaker 06

  You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that's not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?

• 1:33:54Speaker 07

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.