Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 766: A Different Breed of Pervert About this episode We’re all very excited to play with our Magic Baby Mario Egg machines. But first we gotta answer some questions about karate peer pressure, bird perverts, and why Justin has Green Day stuck on his screen.
Suggested talking points: Baby Under Baby, Blessed are the Speedy, The Donut is the Glottis, Birds are Easy to Lie About, Don't Doxx Daddy
Transgender Law Center: https://transgenderlawcenter.org/
Transcript 10,807 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:11 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me. And if I show for the modern era, I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.
1:18 Griffin McElroy? What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy. It's me, sweet baby brother, Griffin, baby under baby, media luminary, Griffin McElroy.
1:27 Travis McElroy? Gamers, gamers, rise up! Gamers unite!
1:32 Griffin McElroy? You guys hear that sound all across the nation?
1:35 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
1:36 Griffin McElroy? Gamers are rising up and ready for the Switch, for the new Nintendo Switch console.
1:41 Travis McElroy? The new Nintendo Switch console has come out.
1:44 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
1:44 Travis McElroy? And as is my-
1:46 Griffin McElroy? My knees are so tired.
1:47 Travis McElroy? And I just had time for Pride Month.
1:49 Griffin McElroy? Thank you, Nintendo!
1:51 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
1:52 Griffin McElroy? Did you see what?
1:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
1:53 Griffin McElroy? What I did was-
1:54 Travis McElroy? No, hold on, can I do mine?
1:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
1:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do yours, do yours. So I was, as is my habit, I let you guys get the system first, and I find out if it's worth it. So I'm dying to know, the Nintendo Switch, is it the top or the bottom?
2:08 Griffin McElroy? And that's, so we've had another great- We've had two great jokes.
2:10 Travis McElroy? So I would like to do mine clean. Oh, okay.
2:13 Griffin McElroy? I can I just say before you do yours that I do not have a Nintendo Pride Month joke? And so I'm, this is gonna be it. This is gonna be the second and last one. I don't have.
2:22 Travis McElroy? Well, you know what? Now that it's, if you don't have one rule of threes, I think I'm gonna stick with the rule of ones.
2:27 Griffin McElroy? I could gin one, I could probably gin one up real quick.
2:31 Travis McElroy? Okay, but would you start to dig into the bottom of a barrel where it starts to feel a little iffy?
2:35 Griffin McElroy? No, people will not like it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
2:38 Travis McElroy? So I'll just skip mine. I mean, I kinda did mine, so I think it's like one and a half.
2:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, for sure.
2:43 Travis McElroy? Do you think Nintendo's proud of their little Switch?
2:46 Griffin McElroy? Um, I don't know why you said it like that. I don't think it's a little Switch. In fact, it's, the screen size is considerably larger. So what you said is the dumbest ass thing I've ever heard.
2:55 Travis McElroy? Now, I haven't bought a video game system since 1998, so I'm assuming it's what, like a hundred dollars? And it comes with a Mario?
3:05 Griffin McElroy? It costs a hundred dollars. It comes with a little Mario that you have to keep alive.
3:09 Travis McElroy? Oh, my God. I'm not ready for that. The system is called Switch to Mario in Your Pocket.
3:14 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:15 Travis McElroy? And in order for the, the first, it comes as an egg.
3:18 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
3:19 Travis McElroy? Oh, my God, the responsibility.
3:21 Griffin McElroy? Tamagotchi, but in, but kind of like a real guy, like a real little guy, and he really shits in everything. And you have to, there's a special button to clean it up.
3:30 Travis McElroy? His name is Tamaguchi.
3:31 Griffin McElroy? His name is Tamaguchi, and he show, every like five minutes, Travis, this little five inch high Mario pulls his overalls down, and he leans down, he bends over on the table, and he shows you his gooch. And it's fucking weird, dude.
3:43 Travis McElroy? The droppings are, the droppings are nine microscopic, Travis. That is the biggest relief for the gamers.
3:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:50 Travis McElroy? The droppings that the mini Mario.
3:52 Griffin McElroy? The shits the PS5 made were so big and arduous, but the Switch.
3:56 Travis McElroy? Evolution, yeah.
3:57 Griffin McElroy? This tiny Mario, after he flashes his, his gooch at you, he takes the littlest.
4:03 Travis McElroy? So let me give this a try.
4:04 Griffin McElroy? So easy. Yeah, go for it.
4:05 Travis McElroy? I go to my nearest Babages.
4:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
4:09 Travis McElroy? I buy the Switch too. They give me an egg. Funko Land.
4:13 Griffin McElroy? It's a Funko Land and Babages and KB Toys.
4:15 Travis McElroy? They give me a little egg. How many more, how many more, just real quick sidebar. Travis, super quick, super quick round robin. How many places can we do that used to sell video games?
4:24 Griffin McElroy? Electronics Boutique, Elbow, I'll do a short it.
4:27 Travis McElroy? Uh, Blockbuster.
4:28 Griffin McElroy? Blockbuster Video.
4:29 Travis McElroy? Uh, Circuit City, Radio Shack.
4:32 Griffin McElroy? I'm out. Travis went way harder than I did.
4:35 Travis McElroy? I worked at Best Buy for a long time.
4:36 Griffin McElroy? So anyway, this little tiny Mario.
4:38 Travis McElroy? So I go, I buy the Switch 2. They, instead of handing me like a console in a box, they hand me an egg.
4:44 Griffin McElroy? Egg.
4:45 Travis McElroy? Egg. And that egg.
4:46 Griffin McElroy? And, and a bowl of spaghetti.
4:49 Travis McElroy? Oh, okay.
4:50 Griffin McElroy? That's his food.
4:51 Travis McElroy? But Trav, that's plastic.
4:54 Griffin McElroy? It's Mario, don't eat it.
4:56 Travis McElroy? Yes, for the Mario. Okay, so then I take the egg home, I hatch it. You don't hatch it, that's crazy. You don't have that kind of power. Okay, great, great. Travis, you're not time, you're not the sun, you're not God, you can't make the egg hatch, the egg just hatches.
5:10 Griffin McElroy? The egg hatches.
5:11 Travis McElroy? And then a tiny man comes out, a tiny Mario. Man is reductive, he's a video game console.
5:17 Griffin McElroy? Icon.
5:18 Travis McElroy? Sorry, uh, a. He is the Switch 2, or in a more accurate sense, will give birth to the Switch 2. Oh, I see, okay. So then, he pulls down his overalls and shows me his gooch.
5:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
5:31 Travis McElroy? That is all a schedule and unrelated to birthing the Switch 2.
5:34 Griffin McElroy? And, and, and listen, just because he came out of an egg, he is not a baby. This is so, we must be so clear. This is a grown man who has made the adult decision to show you his perineum.
5:47 Travis McElroy? Yeah. But here is the really amazing part, Travis, with that, the perineum showing, the, the, will get to a point where it gets to be too much.
5:59 Griffin McElroy? It makes him get too hot.
6:01 Travis McElroy? Thinking, I regret the, and it's too much for you.
6:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:04 Travis McElroy? You're thinking, I regret this purchase. Not to do it? No, that's.
6:08 Griffin McElroy? Good fucking luck, buddy.
6:09 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's the best part, Travis, because when the system is ready to emerge, and when it's pupated enough inside Mario's belly, which is.
6:17 Griffin McElroy? Now I know your one.
6:18 Travis McElroy? So it's like an egg within an egg.
6:20 Griffin McElroy? The egg hatches, Mario comes out nine months later, after gestating the Switch 2, it comes out, and this is a more traditional video game.
6:28 Travis McElroy? Right? Babies having babies. Okay. This is the twist, right?
6:30 Griffin McElroy? Not a baby, hold on.
6:32 Travis McElroy? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
6:33 Griffin McElroy? Mario, the Mario that comes out of the egg is not a baby, he's a grown man who's made the adult decision.
6:37 Travis McElroy? Like a mork, this kind of thing. He's a small, full grown man.
6:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:41 Travis McElroy? And then, when the moment arrives. Okay.
6:43 Griffin McElroy? And Mr. Wilson has waited 30 years for this moment. He's watching as the-
6:48 Travis McElroy? And Dennis the Menace has been just bothering him this whole time.
6:51 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, so the, what happens is he lies on his back and he shows you the taint and you think it's just like every other time, right? Yeah, four times a day. I don't blame you for thinking that. You start counting in your head, 23, 22, 21, because he always does it the exact same amount of time, but then you get one, zero, and it's still out, and then it's glowing, right? And then it starts to split, okay? Like wide, and then it splits to a point where it's bigger, the split is bigger than his body. It's like larger than-
7:19 Travis McElroy? Oh, right, we're getting into like tesseract.
7:22 Griffin McElroy? And I'm not gonna lie Travis, this part's scary. This part-
7:25 Travis McElroy? You will not like-
7:26 Griffin McElroy? This is when you're about to experience the ninth generation of consoles. This is when you're about to really touch the future.
7:33 Travis McElroy? Guys, you're video game journalists, so I know you've really been in the trenches and the wars-
7:37 Griffin McElroy? This is all NDA, obviously. Disgraced a video game journalist, thank you very much. And I was more of an editorialist. And I was more of a critic. I'm not as hardened to this as you guys are, so I'm afraid to ask this question, but does the little Mario survive the birthing process?
7:54 Travis McElroy? Well Travis, the most beautiful part of it all is you're breathing him now.
7:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Oh, he star stuff. Sort of a crystalline- Baby!
8:03 Travis McElroy? Oh, okay.
8:05 Griffin McElroy? Do you have- He returns to the loam. That's why when you buy it at the electronics boutique, they have to ask you, do you have asthma or any kind of breathing conditions? Because after he ruptures and the Switch 2 comes out in nine months from him, um, then he's gonna turn into ash and you're gonna breathe him in. Thirty years from now- If you're wearing a KN, if you're wearing a KN95 when you purchase Mario, they ask to ensure that you've removed it. They want you to breathe it. Oh, you have to breathe it in.
8:34 Travis McElroy? It's disgraceful.
8:35 Griffin McElroy? Is that how you connect to the system? Is that, you don't really connect to the system and you don't really play it, and there aren't really games. Yeah.
8:44 Travis McElroy? Are you, are they worried at all?
8:45 Griffin McElroy? Mario Kart World Tour, it's not like- That's basically it, pretty weak launch line.
8:49 Travis McElroy? Is Nintendo worried about 30 years from now, the class action lawsuit about like super mesothelioma from breathing in the Mario dust?
8:57 Griffin McElroy? Super mesothelioma! Yeah, and that's a good one too. It's a mesothelioma!
9:05 Griffin McElroy? We're the Super Misotia Brothers and we're here to play.
9:09 Travis McElroy? Sorry about your cancer in a major way. Wanna join a lawsuit for all of us, guys?
9:19 Travis McElroy? Sorry about my cooch and you're gonna die.
9:22 Griffin McElroy? He shouldn't have to apologize.
9:24 Travis McElroy? Class action?
9:27 Travis McElroy? So that's the switch too, Trav. It's $500 and probably out of stock.
9:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I have my Nest Cam open and a live monitor, live feed on my phone on my desk just in case Mr. FedEx comes to deliver my special guy today.
9:41 Travis McElroy? Well, he has to breathe, so he has to let him see if he gets it.
9:44 Griffin McElroy? Wait, does he breathe? He, mm, he.
9:48 Travis McElroy? Wait, the guy didn't bring your thing?
9:49 Griffin McElroy? It comes today.
9:51 Travis McElroy? It comes today, oh.
9:52 Griffin McElroy? That's why I'm saying I'm gonna have to probably, if I stand up and run out of the room.
9:55 Travis McElroy? Mine came yesterday.
9:56 Griffin McElroy? Okay, well.
9:57 Travis McElroy? Mine'll come in nine months when I buy it.
9:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, we got, Justin and I got a special Fast Track Zero Zero Mario Imprag Edition.
10:06 Travis McElroy? This is pro, though, though Griff, I would say, judging from the past 10 minutes, that's probably the last time that old connection's probably gonna go. I imagine those emails are probably gonna start going to spam, you know?
10:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, no one, no one, um, hey, disgraced video game journalist Griffin Backright, please don't tell Nintendo about this whole show.
10:26 Travis McElroy? Don't tell Nintendo about our distance.
10:26 Griffin McElroy? Really, anything we do that's not gamer stuff, they look at me and Juice and they think like, these are two honored voices in this community, in this industry.
10:36 Travis McElroy? Long, long, dead video game critics.
10:39 Griffin McElroy? You must realize.
10:39 Travis McElroy? Not disgraced, though. That our audience is like one big, like, kid in class who raises their hand or remind the teacher that they forgot homework. The second you say, please don't tell Nintendo about this, everyone's gonna be skeeting and TikToking and.
10:58 Griffin McElroy? Well, before you do that.
10:58 Travis McElroy? Instagramming to Nintendo all about this.
11:01 Griffin McElroy? Before you do that, please think about how sad it would make you if Daddy Nintendo got mad at you and stopped making, and stopped letting you play their games.
11:09 Travis McElroy? Turn the switch off.
11:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah.
11:12 Travis McElroy? Um, oh, now I'm sad. How about a question? Yeah.
11:16 Griffin McElroy? I would love that.
11:17 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
11:17 Griffin McElroy? This is second.
11:18 Travis McElroy? Sorry.
11:19 Griffin McElroy? You all right?
11:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I I got a picture of Green Day stuck on my computer and I.
11:24 Griffin McElroy? You want to explain why?
11:26 Travis McElroy? It went full screen and I I was trying to get rid of it.
11:28 Griffin McElroy? Why did you have a any a picture of Green Day open and ready to ready for your?
11:33 Travis McElroy? I was gonna talk about it with you guys, but then I didn't know if it was worth mentioning to you. So. You're just gonna talk about the band Green Day in general or? No, I was last night I had needed I needed coffee, but I couldn't leave the house. I didn't need a coffee for the morning. So the only place that I could get coffee from was Speedway. And the only coffee Speedway had was Punk Bunny Coffee by Green Day.
11:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, this looks cool, dude.
11:57 Travis McElroy? How is it that in this photo, which we'll share somewhere? There's four people in it.
12:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
12:04 Travis McElroy? And the least excited one to be there is the bunny. Yeah.
12:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I don't know, man, but this that's not gonna play.
12:12 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
12:12 Griffin McElroy? Hey, how come the the three members of Green Day seem like they're aging at three completely different speeds?
12:18 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's very it's very strange. Here's all the like different um products. So with Punk Bunny Coffee. They've got uh.
12:27 Griffin McElroy? Can you do can you just do the like the Munch Squad sound just so we feel like?
12:30 Travis McElroy? Yeah, okay.
12:30 Griffin McElroy? Or just like really.
12:32 Travis McElroy? Munch Squad.
12:33 Griffin McElroy? Thank you.
12:33 Travis McElroy? Okay.
12:35 Griffin McElroy? You're good. You don't have to do the whole thing. That's.
12:37 Travis McElroy? That's it. That's like so.
12:40 Travis McElroy? In addition to, are you still seeing the screen here?
12:42 Griffin McElroy? No, you made the picture of Billy Joel go away.
12:45 Travis McElroy? Uh, I would never. Billy Joel. Let me show this tab. Hold on.
12:48 Griffin McElroy? Billy Joel Young is his name.
12:51 Travis McElroy? So you're let's say you love Green Day and you love coffee. Of course. So we can start with this. Classic.
12:56 Griffin McElroy? Dookie.
12:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah, Dookie is one of their big flavors. I feel ashamed that they didn't make any albums after Dookie. It was so good. Why'd they stop there? Yeah, you got Last Ride In. That's a medium dark. There's Light Club. That's a light roast.
13:10 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
13:10 Travis McElroy? There's Sound Check. That's a dark roast. And then there's Father of All Dark Roasts.
13:15 Griffin McElroy? Wow.
13:16 Travis McElroy? There's also a limited edition fancy sauce roast.
13:20 Griffin McElroy? Huh?
13:21 Travis McElroy? And then they got some K cup pods. There's five different K cup pod varieties. Now that's just a coffee though. Are those? You love the brand of pink punk bunny coffee. Yeah. You could get yourself bunnied with merch that'll make your tail twitch like the graffiti tote, the love bunny tumbler, the baby crop tea, the patron saint tea, the punk bunny coffee green day. Uh, mug. Wait, Justin, can you go up? PBC tumbler, the punk bunny, the dookie X PBC mug and the graffiti case. You, okay, I want to point out. Yeah. What did you see? It bothers me. They here in the merch have like the Americano idiot. Yeah. Right? Yeah, very good.
14:05 Travis McElroy? That's high end. How come in the coffee flavors, none of them, maybe I'm just out of touch with Green Day's more recent things. Are those? It's just about the life of being on the road, Trav. It's just about like being a road dog. Like, and I'm not sure you would, you would get it. Um, it's just about road life. You know what I mean? Like sound check, you know, last ride out. So what was? Father of all. So my question. Of all. So I got this, uh, cause they did a special collaboration. With Speedway? With Speedway and they're also a seven 11 cause around here they're kind of mixed up. They're a little bit the same and a little bit different. So it's kind of confusing sometimes.
14:46 Travis McElroy? Yeah. But they're also doing a, a special Slurpee flavor, um, for, for a green day. Slurpee flavor exclusive with seven 11. So my question is this, guys, here's what I'm going to ask you. What was American idiot about? That's a good, good, good one, dude. I thought I got it, got it kind of a little bit. And then I feel like maybe I didn't get it. Cause like. Yeah, for sure. They got bunny coffee at seven 11. So I feel like I don't maybe get it. All right, Justin. I maybe I didn't get it. I came to you guys for information about the switch as, uh, the lead Duke head here. I'm happy to explain this to you. You see, Justin, American idiot is.
15:30 Travis McElroy? Whatever you want it to be. And that's the idiot part. That's the idiot part, you see, because like, every American will think American Idiot is about one thing and they're inherently wrong.
15:43 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
15:43 Travis McElroy? You know what I mean? Do you get it?
15:44 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Can we? I mean, let's, let's dive into the lyrics skipping over the wild gay slur that's in it for Pride Month. And it, cause if we sort of start to look at it, I think you can probably see the clues that they're gonna do a major brand partnership with 7-Eleven. In the lyrics to 2004's American Idiot.
16:01 Travis McElroy? Uh huh.
16:01 Griffin McElroy? Um, don't wanna be an American idiot. One nation controlled by the media. Information age of hysteria. It's calling out to idiot America. Make you think.
16:11 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it says here, I'm looking at the genius. Make you think, but also make you thirsty. Yeah, I'm looking here at the genius lyrics and it says specifically that Billy Joel Osmond said that that lyric, that that lyric says, and in 21 years, we're gonna do a partnership with,
16:29 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
16:29 Travis McElroy? Pink Bunny Coffee and 7-Eleven.
16:31 Griffin McElroy? A decade and a year, in two decades and a year, slop it, slop it down, slop it down, American idiot. Yeah.
16:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
16:39 Travis McElroy? I don't know if it's art at this point, but like you have the members of the band and they're all this like fisheye lens and they're all just like gargling. These fucking bright green slurpees with the 7-Eleven branding everywhere. What's the slurpee? Oh, candy grape?
16:54 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
16:54 Travis McElroy? It's Kerplunk Candy Grape, Travis.
16:56 Griffin McElroy? What's that mean? I mean, read the fucking lyrics to any of their songs, dude.
17:00 Travis McElroy? You're right. Green Day. It's an album. I was all by myself. I was eating some candy. I love candy grape, but only a slurpee. Masturbation.
17:10 Griffin McElroy? Slop it down. Here we go.
17:14 Travis McElroy? Uh, yeah, so I guess that's, I'm really happy for him. Slurpee on the road.
17:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Wow, man. When you go back, how did it was, it's one of those, is the dress blue and black or golden black things where it's like, he was actually saying those words all along, but we couldn't even see it.
17:30 Travis McElroy? Mr. Police, man.
17:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
17:31 Travis McElroy? Um, uh, I gotta say that I, I know that maybe this seems a little bit, um, disingenuous for us to have a little bit of fun. At Green Day's expense. We do have our own merch page. I understand the way the merchandising works, but I will say this. We've always been pretty fucking consistent about where we stand.
17:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, we did a whole.
17:51 Travis McElroy? I think I've been in corporate America's pocket for a very, very long time.
17:55 Griffin McElroy? I'd like to be deeper in there. If Emery Searers, we did a whole episode about a coffee brand we had started that we then sold. And that's right, and gang, that's selling out, but it's right over the plate.
18:06 Travis McElroy? Here's what I'm saying, is that right now, we're in corporate America's little pocket, at the top of the jean pocket, where they keep like keys or a quarter or something.
18:13 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
18:13 Travis McElroy? I'd like to be deep in their cargo pockets with like more money coming in.
18:18 Griffin McElroy? I would love a little bit of extra elbow room.
18:20 Travis McElroy? I'm so open about that, like, I'm trying to sell out and no one's buying, is the problem. I've been an influencer for years now, and no one's paying me to influence shit. Is the problem.
18:32 Griffin McElroy? Can I ask?
18:33 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
18:34 Griffin McElroy? How long are you thinking about trying to keep that going?
18:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah, when is it time to hang it up and lead the Hoops Troops?
18:39 Griffin McElroy? Till the day you die? Are you sure? Cause there's other stuff you could do.
18:42 Travis McElroy? I'm doing other stuff too, I'm just saying my primary focus is selling out.
18:46 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
18:47 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
18:48 Griffin McElroy? Well, team up with Green Day.
18:50 Travis McElroy? I'd love to. Are you kidding me? I would erase this episode from time in a heartbeat, if they were like, do you wanna design the next Kerplunk Candy Slurpee flavor? I'd be like, yeah, man, let's do it, it's gonna be toxic brown or whatever, let's go.
19:07 Travis McElroy? Hey, let's help people. I'm tired, I'm tired of not being useful, I wanna make myself useful. I walk fast, my natural comfortable pace is brisk, and it takes real conscious effort for me to slow down to keep pace with people who walk more slowly. I work at a Burke store, where part of my job is leading customers through the store to help them find the book they're looking for. And I often catch myself zooming ahead and having to stop and wait for the customer to catch up, so I don't lose them among the shelves, or walking so exaggeratedly slowly that it feels like I'm mocking them. Brothers, how can I train myself to keep pace with these slow pokes without feeling like I'm waiting through molasses? That's from Sonic in Seattle, gotta go fast.
19:44 Griffin McElroy? Sorry, uh, today must be pretty hard for them, with the Nintendo, with the new Nintendo, gotta be pretty hard.
19:50 Travis McElroy? Sonic would love to give birth to something, and no one will let him.
19:54 Griffin McElroy? That's, that's what the internet has told me.
19:56 Travis McElroy? I, I'm also a fast walker, and I've worked in. And they make you wear shoes. Yeah. I'm a fast walker who's worked in retail and I'm a fast walker who shopped at places. And so I can come at this from both directions.
20:10 Griffin McElroy? Whoa.
20:11 Travis McElroy? I know, man. I don't, all I want, if I ask someone to help me find something in a store, I want them to get me there as quick as possible and then go on about their business, right? Like, they should keep up with you. I don't think you needed to slow down for them. If they ask you to help find a book and they're slow, just yell like, knowledge waits for no one.
20:31 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
20:31 Travis McElroy? Come along, squire.
20:32 Griffin McElroy? If you're at Home Depot and you're like, I need this pipe fitting, nowhere, no idea where to look. And then you go up to someone. They go up to someone and you're like, hey, can you show me where these pipe fittings are? And they say, sure. And then they take off in a dead sprint?
20:45 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
20:47 Griffin McElroy? That's the ideal.
20:48 Travis McElroy? Blessed to be the speedy when those who knock are needy, baby.
20:51 Griffin McElroy? I guess so.
20:52 Travis McElroy? I'm just saying that given the option between dead sprint or like a slow meandering walk, I'll tell you what happens more and more these days if I can, as an old curmudgeonly retail, former retail worker, I ask them where something is, they pull out a little like handheld device, they gotta look it up. They don't know top of their head.
21:10 Griffin McElroy? They don't know the whole store's inventory.
21:13 Travis McElroy? They don't know top of their heads. I, by that point, I could have done that.
21:17 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Well, I was at Home Depot last week. A guy asked me to, to, uh, help him figure out what pipe fitting he needed. Why the fuck did he do that? Uh, cause I had an orange hat on.
21:31 Travis McElroy? And we were too deep down the rabbit hole. By the time he asked me, I had to look at it and say, sir, I, you've not only, you have not only picked a non-employee, you've maybe picked the, the most non-employee you could have selected. I, I am.
21:44 Griffin McElroy? Not working at Home Depot any harder than you already are.
21:47 Travis McElroy? But I bet you felt pretty good for a second, right? For a second, there was like a, I'm flattered, but I don't. I bet you didn't. Straight to sheer panic. Oh, okay.
21:56 Griffin McElroy? But that's a, you understand. Pretty unforced error that you took on there, wearing that hat to the Home Depot store.
22:03 Travis McElroy? The Home Depot employees don't wear orange hats. They're not hunters.
22:07 Griffin McElroy? They wear.
22:07 Travis McElroy? No, you know what? I don't go to Home Depot. It must have been Lowe's. That's even weirder than, because it wasn't orange hat. Now, think about it. To be fair, you made yourself extra visible. So whether they thought you weren't there or not, they just scoped you and they were like, ah, a human being. They must know. That's why everywhere I go, camo, ghillie suit, crawl on my belly. Never get perceived.
22:30 Griffin McElroy? Goku.
22:31 Travis McElroy? Huh?
22:33 Griffin McElroy? Goku.
22:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
22:34 Griffin McElroy? To get stronger.
22:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
22:36 Griffin McElroy? Trained with these weights on his arms. Sorry, Justin has a little toy donut that he keeps rubbing on his face and I don't know. It's so distracting, this little toy donut that you have. What is that?
22:49 Travis McElroy? What's wrong with?
22:50 Griffin McElroy? What is that, man?
22:51 Travis McElroy? Why? What are you choosing?
22:52 Griffin McElroy? Dude, you can't. I know that it's not strictly a ritual.
22:55 Travis McElroy? We've talked about it before, Griff, but like again, again, you're doing this? You're going down this road again?
22:59 Griffin McElroy? If I hold up a tiny whale and rub it on my face while we're doing the podcast, you can't be like, what are you doing with that tiny?
23:05 Travis McElroy? Why are you looking at me? Like, what is wrong with you?
23:07 Griffin McElroy? Cameras are on and you're rubbing a little donut.
23:09 Travis McElroy? No, you have me, Justin.
23:10 Griffin McElroy? There's so many other tabs to look at. Don't look at me.
23:12 Travis McElroy? You got mad at Griffin for looking at you.
23:14 Griffin McElroy? Why are you looking at me?
23:15 Travis McElroy? Cause we're on a video call with each other.
23:17 Griffin McElroy? Look at the other tabs. You know what I look like. You don't need to be looking at me. Okay. I genuinely.
23:24 Travis McElroy? This is for later for TikTok. It's not for you.
23:26 Griffin McElroy? The donut is later for TikTok. Okay, so.
23:28 Travis McElroy? It's for them. The video's for them. It's not for you.
23:31 Griffin McElroy? Um, what were we just discussing?
23:33 Travis McElroy? Goku wore weight. I'm building my grip strength, Griffin, to answer your question. As my arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome continues to claim.
23:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, it's a medical thing, Griffin.
23:44 Travis McElroy? It was just a question. You wanted to make it a funny topic for the show.
23:47 Griffin McElroy? Funny topic? Again, no humor intended here. I just.
23:52 Travis McElroy? Should I clear things? Should I clear things with you before? So I'm just, you guys know, you might be seeing a blue donut.
23:58 Griffin McElroy? I'm feeling extraordinarily othered by you right now for not jumping in and being like, it was distracting.
24:02 Travis McElroy? No, I'm just trying to decide who's gonna win and then I'm gonna side with them.
24:07 Griffin McElroy? Goku to get strong wore these crazy like weights and shit on his.
24:13 Travis McElroy? And ate his vegetables.
24:14 Griffin McElroy? Just let me finish my Goku bit.
24:18 Griffin McElroy? Let me finish my Goku stuff.
24:19 Travis McElroy? I'm siding with Justin.
24:20 Griffin McElroy? Cause let me tell you Travis, I don't actually know this stuff very well. It may have very well been a Vegeta or a Gohan or some other, a Boruto.
24:29 Travis McElroy? No, there's a classic scene where Goku takes off the weight vest while he's in the middle of a tournament. And they're like, what? He did all that with a weight vest? Yeah, you're right.
24:37 Griffin McElroy? I think it's not, I think you're wrong. So like, I don't even want to go that hard.
24:41 Travis McElroy? Whoa.
24:42 Griffin McElroy? So Goku.
24:43 Travis McElroy? Wait, I was, wait, I was.
24:46 Travis McElroy? Trav, do you see what I mean? Yeah. Do you see how he's being? He's beating, right? He's beating. If you're too. For sure.
24:52 Griffin McElroy? If you're too fast, you gotta put on the Goku bracelets.
24:56 Travis McElroy? But that's just gonna make him faster when they take the weight off. Griff.
24:59 Griffin McElroy? Is Goku or Vegeta or?
25:00 Travis McElroy? Griffin's being a real Vegeta right now.
25:03 Griffin McElroy? Perhaps Piccolo. I know the guy's names. I've never seen it. I've never seen the show. I would never, I would never fuck with this. Um, but anyway.
25:12 Travis McElroy? Why, why would you make that call? Why, why spread that kind of violence? That's like, uh, absolutely an ask for Griffin, just a huge type of your.
25:19 Griffin McElroy? I'm so sorry. I like thinking about Goku.
25:22 Travis McElroy? But not consuming Goku content.
25:26 Griffin McElroy? No, not.
25:27 Travis McElroy? You're like fantasizing about Goku is what you're saying.
25:29 Griffin McElroy? Who's got?
25:30 Travis McElroy? Cause he doesn't want it to be reality based.
25:31 Griffin McElroy? Who's got the?
25:32 Travis McElroy? You just want to make up your own head canon about Goku.
25:34 Griffin McElroy? My brain, my mind works so fast. I could imagine an entire season of the Dragon Ball show. Before you could even finish the first episode of the real Dragon Ball.
25:45 Travis McElroy? Let's skip the first six episodes of the season. Cause that's gonna be a lot of setup. And setup and yeah. A lot of junk. Let's pick them up in episode seven. As far as I know, we have Goku.
25:55 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
25:56 Travis McElroy? We have Brian Piccolo.
25:57 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
25:59 Travis McElroy? We have steak Vegeta.
26:06 Travis McElroy? We have Brian Piccolo from Brian's Song.
26:08 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:08 Travis McElroy? A reference that everyone should enjoy. Actually, I actually, the only human beings that will appreciate the Dragon Ball Z Brian's Song overlap.
26:18 Griffin McElroy? Yep. The bald, the bald one's there too. Everyone's, because the bald one, his head looks like a dragon ball. Old man with sunglasses, he's there too.
26:27 Travis McElroy? All right, Grif, episode seven, where do we find the gang?
26:30 Griffin McElroy? Well, get this, they're in the middle of a big tournament.
26:33 Travis McElroy? Whoa.
26:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:35 Travis McElroy? That's good.
26:35 Griffin McElroy? And Goku has just come back to life. He died in three and then, yeah, Gohan.
26:40 Travis McElroy? He's been dead, wait, in the first six episodes Goku was dead for three of them?
26:46 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:46 Travis McElroy? That's why they felt like filler a little bit.
26:48 Griffin McElroy? A little bit. So they're losing and then the bad one, whose name I should really, really, really remember. Krillin? That's the bald one.
26:57 Travis McElroy? Pinzance.
26:58 Griffin McElroy? Pinzance, he goes Super Saiyan, which is like a thing they can do where they get even stronger. And then he kicks Goku's ass to hell and he dies again and he has to ride on a big turtle back.
27:10 Travis McElroy? So literally kicks his ass to hell.
27:12 Griffin McElroy? Kicks his ass right to hell, rides a big turtle back, he comes back, he turns Super Saiyan two, which is like Yellow Super Saiyan, only blue.
27:18 Travis McElroy? But if they're both Super Saiyan, Griffin, wouldn't it cancel each other out?
27:21 Griffin McElroy? Listen to me, listen to me. Does a one cancel out a two? Does a one cancel out a two? What's two minus one? You still have a remainder, so Goku wins this one. There is no Super Saiyan three. There is no Super Saiyan three. This is the last episode of Dragon Ball Z.
27:35 Travis McElroy? Oh, he goes Super Saiyan two, number two.
27:38 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Oh, sorry, yes, I can see how that would be confusing.
27:41 Travis McElroy? Very confusing.
27:42 Griffin McElroy? He goes Super Saiyan dose. And he, and then he kills him and then, uh, that's the end.
27:49 Travis McElroy? That's the end. And then after that, well, the next season's Wizard and Glass, where Goku goes back in time. Well, we flashback to Goku going and traveling with his friends to stop, um, I don't know, a bad guy or whatever. But it's like 20 years earlier and we don't care about it.
28:05 Griffin McElroy? That's true. Do you guys ever, while you're in the middle of a bit, that's heavily referential of a piece of important cultural media? Just feel the sudden urge to just wanna stop, wanna stop doing, like, be able to like, press a button and just not be doing that bit anymore?
28:22 Travis McElroy? I, you know what, Griffin, sometimes I think if I can make it through this for the next 30 seconds.
28:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
28:29 Travis McElroy? I'll never be able to justify watching this show to myself because the only reason I would do it is for if it came up on a podcast. And I'd be able to like play in the space, right?
28:38 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
28:38 Travis McElroy? So if I'm right now kind of testing if I have a deep enough pool to do Dragon Ball material. And so far I've used like literally everything I have.
28:48 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
28:49 Travis McElroy? And I don't know more about it.
28:50 Griffin McElroy? And it wasn't.
28:51 Travis McElroy? I had, none of us have said over 9,000, which is good.
28:53 Griffin McElroy? That's kicks ass. That lends us an air of credibility at least, I think.
28:57 Travis McElroy? Griffin, if you could teach me how to have the impulse to want to stop a bit that's not working, I'll pay you.
29:03 Griffin McElroy? The show would be Travis, the structure, the fundamental bindings of our show would be, would be.
29:10 Travis McElroy? It actually, Travis, it's not your fault. It skips a generation. So. Oh, I see. I have it. Griffin has it, but you don't. It makes sense. Yeah, that tracks.
29:18 Griffin McElroy? Travis is our uncle.
29:23 Travis McElroy? Actually, Griffin, what I was saying was a joke for the show.
29:25 Griffin McElroy? The big secret's out, guys. The name of the show's bit, Travis has been the me the whole time because he's an uncle now. Technically, you are an uncle.
29:35 Travis McElroy? I mean, I am, yeah.
29:35 Griffin McElroy? Not my uncle, but.
29:37 Travis McElroy? Can we go to the money? Not my uncle.
29:39 Griffin McElroy? This is again, the second consecutive bit I have wanted to absolutely leap out of like a moving car.
29:55 Travis McElroy? You know, the most precious thing to me, Griffin?
29:57 Griffin McElroy? Oh, your walk with Christ.
29:59 Travis McElroy? No, my dreams, my dreams. But the problem with my dreams is they die with me.
30:05 Griffin McElroy? Whoa.
30:05 Travis McElroy? Unless, unless.
30:07 Griffin McElroy? Unless?
30:08 Travis McElroy? Unless I can start taking the steps to make those dreams a reality. You know what I mean? Though everyone should get to share in my dreams.
30:17 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
30:17 Travis McElroy? And if I want to bring those out of this, this thing here, this meat here and put it out into the real world where people can walk around my dreams.
30:24 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
30:24 Travis McElroy? I gotta reach out to Squarespace and say, hey. What's up with websites?
30:28 Griffin McElroy? Dude, I did not have the ad copy up and open when you started doing this. And that was not the company that I assumed we were advertising today.
30:39 Travis McElroy? What if you had been like, you know, the problem is my dreams die with me. Anyways, Rocket Money will save you. I just wish, I wish you guys would let me finish them before you start dismantling it because it is like where I'm flying the plane.
30:52 Griffin McElroy? You have a point, dude. You're right.
30:53 Travis McElroy? You haven't finished the second wing. I know I haven't. I'm trying to build the plane as I go, guys.
30:57 Griffin McElroy? Cook chef.
30:58 Travis McElroy? I don't know the next sentence. You know that, right? Griffin, it says right here in the ad copy, do get creative with your ads. Talk about how your dreams die with you.
31:06 Griffin McElroy? Die with you.
31:07 Travis McElroy? Spiral the audience into an existential crisis, but then bring them back. It's not an existential crisis. I'm saying a dream unshared is a dream unrealized. And the first step to sharing your dream is to go to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial. They've got templates that are made by some of the best designers in the business and you can stand on the shoulders of those giants and get your dreams out of your head. And let us all walk around your beautiful dreams.
31:33 Griffin McElroy? Let us in.
31:33 Travis McElroy? Let us in.
31:34 Griffin McElroy? Why are you keeping us out?
31:35 Travis McElroy? Your beautiful dreams at Squarespace? Yeah, man, let me in your dreams. What are you hiding in there? The website's gonna look great. Don't worry about it. Don't beat yourself up. Don't get in your head about it. Just go to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Do you guys want to hear something absolutely tragic? For sure. When I die, my memories die with me. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless I get aura. Yeah.
32:02 Griffin McElroy? Can we time out? That was the most, you just did a.
32:04 Travis McElroy? Were you eating a bunch of pudding before we recorded?
32:07 Griffin McElroy? That was crazy, man.
32:09 Travis McElroy? Are you cool? I have carpal.
32:11 Griffin McElroy? That doesn't have any effect on what your glottis, dude.
32:16 Travis McElroy? And early onset. Arthritis.
32:19 Griffin McElroy? You don't have arthritic glottis. You can't convince me.
32:22 Travis McElroy? Right, but they That is my favorite Pokemon though. In my morning coffee. Glottis into arthritic glottis. He gets a powerful attack.
32:30 Griffin McElroy? Don't just throw the donut at the microphone. Justin is absolutely.
32:33 Travis McElroy? The donut is Justin's glottis. He removed it from his throat.
32:37 Griffin McElroy? He's doing his glottis.
32:38 Travis McElroy? This is a, this is a glottis model that I brought from home, Griffin. So you're, you're pretty embarrassed now. It's a scientific tool. See, my glottis is like doing this. Oh, Griffin, you're embarrassed now.
32:50 Griffin McElroy? Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on. Wait. I'm reading the Aura Frames ad copy now and it says, give it the muddiest, cruddyest delivery you absolutely can.
32:58 Travis McElroy? Oh, fr-. Work that glottis nasty boy.
33:01 Griffin McElroy? It says, work that waggle.
33:02 Travis McElroy? The last ad on my flipping back, guys. Why don't you cruise on down the road with this one? Do you have a man that's all glottis and no memory? Sure. We all do. Get him an Aura Frame. So at least he'll still have the glottis, but now his memories can be digitally downloaded directly into Aura Frame.
33:21 Griffin McElroy? No bullshit.
33:22 Travis McElroy? I'm not talking about cyber stuff. I'm talking about your photos. Uh, because Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and it's easy to see why. There's unlimited storage, so you can add as many photos, videos, and get this, funny memes as you can find. And it's so simple to set up. Just plug it in and share away. You can even share remotely. So like, if you get it saved for your dad who doesn't live with you, maybe he still lives in Ironton for some reason. I could just upload photos directly to my dad.
33:54 Griffin McElroy? Why would you not, why would you not want to live with your dad? It's crazy.
34:00 Travis McElroy? Okay. So Aura Frames has a great deal for Father's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off their bestselling Covermat Frame. That's A U R A frames.com promo code. My brother, support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.
34:28 Travis McElroy? Terms and conditions apply.
34:32 Speaker 03 Who's ready for some science?
34:36 Speaker 03 With sources and nuance.
34:40 Speaker 04 And some funny jokes from me.
34:44 Speaker 04 And some funny jokes from me.
34:46 Speaker 03 Well, let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.
34:52 Speaker 04 From quantum physics to the history of swearing.
34:55 Speaker 03 As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.
34:58 Speaker 04 And some funny jokes from me.
34:59 Speaker 03 Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hubber.
35:02 Speaker 04 And Tom Lum.
35:03 Speaker 03 So join us next time where we will learn about everything.
35:11 Speaker 05 Hey, are you playing a video game right now?
35:14 Speaker 06 Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.
35:20 Speaker 05 Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.
35:22 Speaker 06 I'm Jason Schreier. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.
35:27 Speaker 05 A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.
35:30 Speaker 06 Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.
35:35 Speaker 05 On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.
35:38 Speaker 06 And breaking news out of the video game industry. And we also talk about other stuff besides games. So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click. Listen on maximumfun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.
35:54 Travis McElroy? Over the past couple of years, I picked up bird watching as a hobby.
35:57 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
35:57 Travis McElroy? To really put this into perspective for you, I skipped my senior prom to look at birds. I've recently acquired a nice set of binoculars. You could have looked at some nice birds at the prom.
36:08 Travis McElroy? Check out them birds. I recently acquired. My gym in high school was full of birds. It's important.
36:14 Griffin McElroy? Holy gym.
36:17 Travis McElroy? I've recently acquired a nice set of binoculars, which are great for when I'm out in the middle of nowhere. But when I'm sitting on my porch trying to figure out what kind of bird is on my neighbor's roof, how do I use my binoculars without looking like a complete and total freak? That's from Scared of Being Perceived in Cincinnati.
36:31 Griffin McElroy? There's gotta be a shirt.
36:33 Speaker 06 Or a sign. Would a sign help?
36:35 Griffin McElroy? A sign.
36:35 Travis McElroy? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We've.
36:39 Travis McElroy? Have we had, have we talked about having a shirt that says, I'm definitely bird watching? And how that will definitely make you seem like you're doing anything but bird watching?
36:47 Griffin McElroy? It feels like us. It feels like some shit we'd say.
36:49 Travis McElroy? That does say like, it sounds like something we would say, but maybe we dreamed it.
36:53 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
36:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
36:53 Griffin McElroy? And then like-
36:54 Travis McElroy? It's possible. It could be a day, it could be like a matrix thing. Just yell out a bird every time you see one. You're good.
36:59 Griffin McElroy? Few seconds yell out a bird could help. There's another one.
37:02 Travis McElroy? Whistling is probably detrimental, right? Like that you, or do you have to do bird calls to summon the birds you want to catch? Maybe a big book of birds that you're checking off? I, the level of self accountability you would need to not sell, to, to, to do this hobby, to do this hobby, period, is absolutely beyond me. Like I would stand in one place for 10 minutes and just decide like, it has to be that thing. It has to be that bird I wanted to see. It has to be. There's no way it hasn't. I've been out here 10 minutes. That's definitely a red breasted warbler, you know, whatever. As long as you do just a, a small bit of research into birds in your area.
37:47 Travis McElroy? How's that? If you're like, I saw a hawk. No one's gonna be like, no, you didn't.
37:51 Griffin McElroy? No fucking way, man. Hawks, I would believe any, anywhere's gotta have hawks, right?
37:55 Travis McElroy? Yeah, everyone's got hawks.
37:57 Griffin McElroy? Cause if there's a place that doesn't have hawks, one hawk could show up in that place and would be fucking in charge.
38:03 Travis McElroy? Big bird flies by, I just point at it and go, ah, turkey vulture. And the, whatever it is, I don't know. They're so fast. Like birds are so fast and so small.
38:13 Griffin McElroy? It's so easy to lie about birds.
38:16 Travis McElroy? That's a really good point, Griffin. We, we often forget that.
38:18 Griffin McElroy? I was thinking a shirt that said like, I'm not a pervert, I'm bird watching would be cool.
38:23 Travis McElroy? Like-
38:24 Griffin McElroy? But then I thought that would be a very specific use case that you could wear that shirt. There's probably lots of hobbies that would benefit by having a shirt that just said, I'm not a pervert on it. So if you were doing something that might be interpreted as perverse, they would see your shirt and be like, must be bird watching instead.
38:43 Travis McElroy? Here's the problem, Griffin. What if I am a pervert? I just don't feel like answering a lot of questions right now. That's what I'm saying. How do we check for perversion before? Or a different pervert. Oh, a different like flavor of pervert.
38:55 Griffin McElroy? I'm a pervert.
38:56 Travis McElroy? I'm a different kind of pervert. I'm not this particular kind of pervert. Ask me, ask me about my perversion. Yes, I'm a different breed of pervert. Yeah, 100% pervert, but not that kind. Not that kind.
39:07 Griffin McElroy? That would be cool. And then it would have all the big dog iconography on it.
39:13 Travis McElroy? Legally binding.
39:15 Griffin McElroy? It wouldn't say big dog. It would say a different, a different breed of pervert.
39:19 Travis McElroy? I'm not a regular pervert. I'm a grandma. We could fill it in with a bunch of different ones. I'm not a regular pervert. I'm a woodworker. Right? We can have a- I'm not a regular pervert. I'm a Pisces. Yeah, there we go.
39:32 Griffin McElroy? The difference between me and you? I am a, I'm a, I am a pervert and I don't want to talk about it.
39:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I, the difference between me and you is our flavor of perversion. I think the type of bird watching is important here, too. If you're one of these types of bird watchers that's looking for specific birds, or they want to note the birds that they've seen or keep track of it. I think that that kind of bird watching is going to look somewhat suspicious. I think if you get into a more, what I like is a more sort of free form, open-ended bird watching that gets back to the heart of it. You're watching birds. You're smearing peanut butter on your arms and sprinkling bird seed on them, standing out in the yard. Hey, man, yeah. If you just see someone in your neighborhood with binoculars pointed at the sky,
40:21 Travis McElroy? swinging around like, yeah, man, go! Or woo, look at him go! Oh. They're not going to think that you're, you're a pervert. I was, I was kind of contemplating more of a Brenda Fricker, like, the birds come to me. I don't need binoculars.
40:35 Griffin McElroy? End game. Once the birds are super comfortable with your presence in the neighborhood, that you will be able, you will have Brenda Fricker bird powers. Bird watching is a thing that I think sounds very cool. And one time I downloaded an app that can help you identify what different birds are. Um, and that's cool because I would have no way of knowing that information otherwise. So I was using this- App to identify birds and that for about five minutes and then I just instead opened up Pokemon Go. Cause that's what I was doing. That's what I was, if I'm being honest.
41:07 Travis McElroy? Which is like bird watching.
41:08 Griffin McElroy? If I want a digital animal collecting experience, there's a place for me to do that already.
41:14 Travis McElroy? Okay, listen, guys, here's my billion dollar app idea. It's a bird identifying app. That is localized right to your neighborhood, but it doesn't tell you like the species of bird. It tells you their first name. So when I see that bird, like the first user to find that bird gets to name that bird. And then every time that bird gets recognized by the app.
41:37 Griffin McElroy? How is the app tell, just a quick question off the top of my head, how's the app tell the different? The who the different individual birds are.
41:45 Travis McElroy? Microchips.
41:46 Griffin McElroy? Chip them. Yeah, chip. I was thinking chip. I'm glad you said it, Travis. Who is chip? Who is?
41:50 Travis McElroy? The first person to find it. Yes, Griffin. God, Griffin. Do I have to spell it out for you or do you want it on the ground floor?
41:57 Griffin McElroy? Okay, well, there is a difference. I don't know. I don't know much about the bird watching hobby. I don't think grab. I don't think grabbing them.
42:06 Travis McElroy? You use, you don't grab them. You use a little hook. There's watchers and hookers. There's two different breeds in bird watching. Okay? And yeah, we have a lot of fun with that. Yes, Griffin, before you laugh. Yes, like hookers, okay? We're job creators. Yeah. Every, every, every bird you hook earns you one bird coin. And that's not a hobby, right? That's a profession.
42:31 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that's an obligation. What do you do with bird coins?
42:34 Travis McElroy? Well, you can spend them on skins for your avatar. Fuck. Or skin. Yeah, or skin. Bird skin, the best. The bird hooking doesn't always go smoothly. You take those skins home, you fry them up, bless for your kids. They're gonna love that. They're gonna think they're having. Today's sponsor is bird skins, the best. Don't throw those things away. No. The bird. Whenever you buy, whatever you buy skillless chicken breasts at the store, you gotta think, oh, man. Cause they're not selling big shrink wrap packets of skin. I just love the skin. That's why my new company is so powerful. We're turning them into chips.
43:12 Griffin McElroy? Nando's gets really frustrated with me when I roll up like, let me just get the skin.
43:16 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
43:17 Griffin McElroy? They say that's not possible, sir.
43:19 Travis McElroy? Then what are they doing with it? Are they using it for bird coin?
43:23 Griffin McElroy? They're doing something with it and they're not fucking telling the rest of us.
43:26 Travis McElroy? Wait, are they trying to undermine my business?
43:29 Griffin McElroy? You guys have a Nando's or is that just, you ever have a cheeky Nons? No? Damn.
43:33 Travis McElroy? I'd love to have a cheeky Nons. That sounds great. Uh, recently at my work, a local karate dojo paid to set up a table and prize wheel to advertise to new clients. I spun the wheel when I asked.
43:46 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
43:46 Travis McElroy? May only be polite since I'd be in the lobby with them for the next eight hours. I won a karate patch. Hmm. But then they asked me to give my phone number instead of date and time to collect it along with two weeks of free karate nice try. They couldn't bring the patch with them?
44:03 Griffin McElroy? No, it's heavy.
44:04 Travis McElroy? Brothers, I have no time or desire for karate classes, but now I keep getting texts from them about how they can't wait to see me and the other winners. They printed us name tags and everything.
44:12 Griffin McElroy? Fuck.
44:13 Travis McElroy? I didn't even win the bo staff or the nunchuck. Shit. How do, like karate peer pressure, that's from No Nugi in New Jersey, which is good. Good shit, man. Are they gonna, are they gonna teach you how to fight using the patch? Because if a bo staff and nunchucks were available and a patch, perhaps it will be some sort of like, yes, it seems like a simple patch, but it can also be thrown as a weapon.
44:37 Griffin McElroy? Think about it. You can't just give someone a patch for your dojo without knowing that they are going to be responsible practitioners of this martial art.
44:47 Travis McElroy? Or at least be a good face for the dojo.
44:51 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
44:51 Travis McElroy? If there's a bar fight, somebody steps up and I'm like, oh, this guy is gonna protect me. He's got a karate patch on. And then he gets slid down the bar like an old timey western bag and like he smashes all the glass out of the way. And I'm like, that dojo sucks. They can take the patch and sew it on the back of their members only jacket and then go out to the local bar and just start spin kicking people.
45:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:12 Travis McElroy? And that's gonna look terrible for you. Your form's gonna be bad. There'll be a bully.
45:15 Griffin McElroy? As just, as Travis has suggested, they're wearing a karate patch and you're like, yeah, I saw this guy is absolutely handed to it at the bar. They took him in the bathroom, kicked him a hundred times, made him eat a urinal cake and he had this patch on? And I was like, must be a pretty shitty dojo.
45:31 Griffin McElroy? Every time I'm at a farmer's market and I see almost always a dentist with like a little tent set up and he's like, you got, we got prizes. You guys like fidget spinners? It's like, nice fucking try, dude.
45:42 Travis McElroy? That is, especially when you're walking around with your kids. All of a day, see a big spinning wheel and prize. And we're five feet away from the human being at the table. And my kids are like, oh, I want to spin the wheel. And I have to, like, I have to shut that down without saying, because this is a scam.
46:00 Griffin McElroy? Stop indoctrinating my kids into your cult of dental wellness. It's mostly made up and that's a big position to take.
46:08 Travis McElroy? For me, Griffin, it's always gutter services. There are people who will do gutters and they're like, spin the wheel and you'll get a piece of bubble gum and I'll get all of your daddy's info and dox him. Yeah, I think we've covered on this show before, how my slide into financial instability began with me getting a free hat at a Reds game for a credit card application that my mom told me I shouldn't have signed up for. She was right. So I got tricked by that. And then I, oopsies, flash forward to I'm in college and things are going pretty bad for me. Now here's what I'll say about that little scam that I got roped into versus the, this karate scam, which is maybe a scam, maybe it's a great business idea. I don't know. It depends on if it works on you or not. But.
46:50 Griffin McElroy? That's the nature of scams.
46:51 Travis McElroy? It did not, when I went through my experience, my trial, it did not equip me with the tools to make sure that I was never a victim again.
46:59 Griffin McElroy? Right.
47:00 Travis McElroy? Like that.
47:04 Travis McElroy? Yeah, at least if you get, if you get bullied and if this works on you, you need it.
47:10 Griffin McElroy? Worst scenario. Yes, absolutely.
47:12 Travis McElroy? Yeah, if you, if this sales pitch works on you, you do not have the inner confidence of a karate master. If Justin were to get bullied in his 30s, he wasn't able to say like, ha, joke's on you. I have crippling financial debt. Blah, and then use that to his advantage. You know what I could say Travis? I have a blue belt in Taekwondo and I'm never going back.
47:31 Griffin McElroy? Never. It's too hard.
47:34 Travis McElroy? I have an old Reds baseball cap somewhere.
47:37 Speaker 04 I have no idea what to do with this blue belt at this point, guys.
47:42 Travis McElroy? It doesn't come up as often as you thought. It's been a year and a half even. I remember nothing, dude. But if I went back in, I had to start at white belt, I'd lose my fucking mind. But you must. So now I'm just stuck. I can never go back.
47:56 Griffin McElroy? You must understand that of all the things that the three of us have kind of picked up and then sat down as we went on our merry way, you are the only one with any kind of prowess. I think that will make you useful when the shit hits the fan. I want you in my corner. I can't be like, yeah, guys, you want to know about making hard candy?
48:18 Travis McElroy? I gotta say, Griffin, Travis and I know how to cut a lot of stuff in a lot of different ways. That's true.
48:23 Griffin McElroy? That's a good point.
48:23 Travis McElroy? I know how to hit really hot metal with a hammer. But Justin, here's the thing, right now, yeah, sitting here in your comfy podcast chair and your comfy podcast studio, you don't remember it. What you need to do is get yourself in a high tension, high adrenaline situation, and it's all gonna come flooding back to you. Now, I have to warn you, Justin, there is a 5% chance that it will not all come flooding back to you.
48:46 Griffin McElroy? And I'm gonna say, Justin, it's not 5%, it's like 79%.
48:51 Travis McElroy? You will die, but if it all comes flooding back to you, baby, you will feel alive for maybe the first time ever.
48:58 Griffin McElroy? New business idea.
48:59 Travis McElroy? Okay.
49:00 Griffin McElroy? It's a business that
49:01 Travis McElroy? Beat up Justin.
49:02 Griffin McElroy? teaches you, beat up Justin, fight Justin for money online. New business idea is a business that teaches people how to not get scammed and ripped off by predatory farmer's market vendors. And then also teaches them how to fight really well to kick ass in case they do get slipped up. And the business is called Scamwise Slam G, and G is me. That's my new name is Scamwise Slam G.
49:31 Travis McElroy? I love that, Griffin.
49:32 Griffin McElroy? And if you get, if I get you.
49:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
49:35 Griffin McElroy? If I get you at the farmer's market, then I say like, this is bad for you. This is an expensive program, but no.
49:42 Travis McElroy? So you're like getting them to do it and then you're like, that was a mistake.
49:44 Griffin McElroy? That was a mistake.
49:45 Travis McElroy? They only have to do, maybe they only have to do it until they can get the next person to do it. You know what I mean? Like you just get the next person to sign up and then you're off the hook.
49:54 Griffin McElroy? That's interesting.
49:55 Travis McElroy? And then they're stuck. Now, what if each person you got, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Paid you a dollar.
50:00 Griffin McElroy? Justin, this is an exciting new business shape that you're describing.
50:04 Travis McElroy? Kind of a like a rhombus.
50:07 Griffin McElroy? Yes, I call it the half diamond. I don't know how to fight.
50:12 Travis McElroy? Okay.
50:12 Griffin McElroy? Just I have to say.
50:13 Travis McElroy? If you were, okay, here is, here is a question. If you were to pursue some means of self-defense and I'm, I was like, Griffin, you gotta sign up for self-defense elective this year. Where, where send jokes out of the room. Where do you think you would be best, best. Like, where do your strengths lie? And don't say a capoeira because that would be a joke and I'll know it. Okay. So don't say capoeira.
50:40 Griffin McElroy? Well, that sucks, dude, because that's the right answer and it is what I'd say, but it's not like now I feel like I can't.
50:45 Travis McElroy? That's a cool answer, but you, there's, you know, that if you were to go to capoeira class and then come to my brother, my brother and me like, guess what, guys?
50:54 Travis McElroy? I'm a capoeira master. Like, it would be good for your brand, but it would take a very long time for, for it to be re-plausibility. This is mine straight up and I think I'd have to build from here. But I don't think it would be physical so much as it would be mental. I would have to be trained to take a lot of pain and punishment because I don't think I'd win in the fight so much as I think I'd be able to tire them out. By just letting them hit me a lot until they didn't feel good about what they were doing anymore.
51:22 Griffin McElroy? That's a costly one. It'll work, it'll work at some cost.
51:25 Travis McElroy? As you guys know, I took the skills I learned as an Olympic level judo master into the boardroom. But then I got so good at using those judo skills in the boardroom that I didn't have to do judo anymore. I just had the business stuff going on for me.
51:39 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
51:39 Travis McElroy? I would like to pitch a new series, a sequel series to Cobra Kai.
51:45 Griffin McElroy? All right.
51:45 Travis McElroy? In which a, a new dojo emerges.
51:49 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
51:49 Travis McElroy? Where Cobra Kai is strike hard, is strike first, strike hard, something like that, right? When this new dojo is.
51:56 Griffin McElroy? Know what it is. You've seen that show more than anyone else I know.
51:59 Travis McElroy? That's true. Um, and this new dojo though is like, well, we're going to strike before you Cobra Kai. And they start showing up at Cobra Kai's house before the matches and punching Cobra Kai there. Yeah. And they're really, they're really well-funded, this dojo, right? The guy who runs it is named Joe and he's really, really rich. It's Joe Doe's dojo and they're, they're.
52:21 Travis McElroy? Do they teach judo there? It's Jo- it's JoDo's Judo Do- Do.
52:26 Griffin McElroy? JoDo's Judo JoJo.
52:28 Travis McElroy? One more time, Graff, get it clean.
52:30 Griffin McElroy? JoDo's.
52:31 Travis McElroy? Nope.
52:32 Griffin McElroy? JoDo's Judo Do- Do.
52:35 Travis McElroy? Yes, there we go.
52:36 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, this is a good show. I would watch this. Uh, who's in it? Who've we got attached?
52:41 Travis McElroy? Seth Rogen. Machio's down.
52:42 Griffin McElroy? Seth Rogen, Ralph Machio.
52:44 Travis McElroy? I didn't say Ralph. No, I didn't say Ralph.
52:47 Griffin McElroy? Sorry, sorry. Which Machio? Hachi Machio? You got Hachi Machio?
52:50 Travis McElroy? Machio's, Machio's involved.
52:52 Griffin McElroy? Machio Randy Savage?
52:55 Travis McElroy? We got the family, the Machio family. Okay, Seth Rogen voices the dog, obviously.
52:59 Griffin McElroy? It'd be a kickass episode of Cobra Kai if they were nervous about the big fight coming up. And then they, so they snuck into one of their opponent's houses and put an actual cobra in bed with them.
53:09 Travis McElroy? Oh, Griffin. Oh, Griffin. They've, they've certainly done that. There's lots of snake intimidation factor here.
53:17 Griffin McElroy? Is there actually a lot of cobra work in Cobra Kai?
53:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah, multiple cobras appear throughout the season. Cobra Kai RPG. I feel like we're missing a trick here, guys, for, for not having our own dojos. There's a, there's a Cobra Kai ARG, but.
53:30 Griffin McElroy? Oh, perfect.
53:31 Travis McElroy? That's just getting beat up by teens. Here's the first clue. Kicking.
53:37 Travis McElroy? I've solved it.
53:38 Griffin McElroy? Kick your, kick your cellphone.
53:39 Travis McElroy? Kickyourself.org.
53:44 Travis McElroy? Anita Reynolds, kickyourself.org/739.
53:49 Griffin McElroy? I don't have, I don't have time to go on the.
53:51 Travis McElroy? There's a second dot in there?
53:52 Griffin McElroy? I don't have time to, uh, do the kick yourself eco hunt. Uh, I'm just gonna wait for the four hour explainer videos that come out in a couple of years.
54:02 Travis McElroy? Hey, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. I really enjoy, this has been a stressful week for me at the theater. Uh, but, uh, this has been a very enjoyable respite from that. Why is it stressful, you ask? Well, we're doing, uh, the prom this, uh, summer. It's going to be. That's a musical.
54:20 Griffin McElroy? I should make it clear. I also did not realize this is a musical. I thought Justin was hosting, uh, some sort of independent prom.
54:28 Travis McElroy? No, it's a fantastic musical. It's gonna be. Huntington Ritter Park Amphitheater. Uh, uh, at the shows at eight thirty. There's a pre-show before, I'm pretty sure. And you can search for tickets on Facebook or there's.
54:40 Griffin McElroy? What days? What days are this?
54:42 Travis McElroy? It's this weekend as you're listening to this, right? So it's June. I gotta get a calendar. Hold on. This is ridiculous. I'm supposed, I used to be a professional. Listen, guys, listen. My freaking. Are you listening?
54:54 Griffin McElroy? Like the 12?
54:56 Travis McElroy? It's the 13th, 14th. It's the, it's the 13th, 14th, 15th, and then the 20th, 21st, 22nd. Come on out. Speaking of coming on. It's gonna be great. Next week. Come on out. Next week, June 19th and 20th, we're going to be in Columbus, Ohio, doing Taz and My Brother, My Brother and Me at Origins Game Fair. Doing another Taz versus live show, I believe, Taz versus Midsummer Night's Dream. If you're coming to that My Brother, My Brother and Me live show and you have a question that you want answered, make sure to email it to m b m b a m at maximumfun.org and put Columbus in the subject line. Also, later this year, we're coming to California, Texas, Georgia, and Utah.
55:37 Travis McElroy? All Taz shows will be Taz versus except for the Anaheim Taz show, which will be Dadland's, uh, GM'd by Brennan Lee Mulligan. Tickets for all shows are on sale now. More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly/macaroytours.
55:51 Griffin McElroy? We got some new merch in this merch store over at macaroymerch.com, including a Monster Factory sticker set that I adore. It was designed by Will O'Quillan. Uh, you can check that out and all of our merch over at macaroymerch.com. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Transgender Law Center. Also, thanks to Montaigne for the use for a theme song, "My Life is Better With You." It's probably the greatest song ever written and we're extraordinarily lucky to be able to use it. So thank you.
56:19 Travis McElroy? Can I read the fear this week?
56:21 Griffin McElroy? I would.
56:22 Travis McElroy? Absolutely. Okay.
56:25 Travis McElroy? This year I will be faster than my fear of when the cardboard biscuit tube pops open.
56:30 Griffin McElroy? Oh, my God, yeah.
56:32 Travis McElroy? That's real. Indeed. My name is Justin. I'm Travis McElroy.
56:35 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
56:36 Travis McElroy? This has been My Brother, My Brother and Me. Kiss your dad. Square.
56:47 Speaker 07 Good life, ah. It's better, it's better with you. It's better with you. Good life, ah. It's better, it's better with you. Is it true? Ah. It's better, it's better with you. Good life, ah. It's better with you.
57:14 Speaker 06 Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.
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