Emma of Normandy

Dead Funny History: Emma of Normandy. Join historian Greg Jenner for a fast-paced, funny and fascinating journey through the life of Emma of Normandy - twice Queen of England, mother of kings, and the medieval Kris Jenner of royal politics. This episode of Dead Funny History is packed with jokes, sketches and sound effects that bring the past to life for families and Key Stage 2 learners. Emma’s story is full of twists, betrayals and Viking invasions. Born in Normandy around 985 CE, she married King Aethelred the Unready at just 17, became queen, and had three children including future king Edward the Confessor. But when the Vikings invaded, Emma fled to France, only to return and marry the new Viking king, Cnut. That made her queen again, while Cnut was still married to someone else. Cue royal drama, competitive parenting, and a lot of people named Ælfgifu. Emma’s life was a whirlwind of political alliances, family feuds and strategic marriages. She was exiled, had her treasures stolen, and saw her children fight for the throne. She even spread rumours to undermine her stepson Harold Harefoot, and helped her favourite son Harthacnut become king - only for him to dig up his half-brother’s body and throw it in a swamp. Expect parodies, sketch comedy, and a quiz to test what you’ve learned. It’s history with heart, humour and high production value. Perfect for curious kids, families, and fans of You’re Dead To Me. Written by Gabby Hutchinson Crouch, Athena Kugblenu and Dr Emma Nagouse Host: Greg Jenner Performers: Mali Ann Rees and John-Luke Roberts Producer: Dr Emma Nagouse Associate Producer: Gabby Hutchinson Crouch Audio Producer: Emma Weatherill Script Consultant: Professor Elizabeth Tyler Production Coordinator: Liz Tuohy Production Manager: Jo Kyle Sound Designer: Peregrine Andrews A BBC Studios Production

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers. This fall, I'll be driving across the country, meeting some of today's coolest and most fascinating artists. We'll explore the stories before the moments that changed everything. Because every musician remembers the moment where it all began. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series on the iHeart Radio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 1:09Greg Jenner?

  Hello and welcome to Dead Funny History. I'm Greg Jenner. I'm a historian and I want to tell you about someone cool. Emma of Normandy, an incredibly important medieval woman who was Queen of England twice. It's a story with more twists, betrayals and family drama than a reality show. But it's also a story with so many cool names that I've actually got this cool name klaxon. Cool name. See? Now, Emma was born around 985 CE in a place called the Duchy of Normandy, now a northern bit of France. Now, Emma was a mashup of half French

• 1:50Greg Jenner?

  and half Viking.

• 1:54Greg Jenner?

  Bonjour. Yep, today we're gonna meet more angry Scandinavians than in an Ikea store that's run out of meatballs. Emma's father was Duke Richard I of Normandy, also known as Richard the Fearless.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 2:09Greg Jenner?

  And Emma's mum was called Gunnar.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 2:13Greg Jenner?

  Probably Danish, nothing to do with Arsenal thankfully. Now, we don't know much about Emma's childhood, but we do know that in 1002, she married the King of the English.

• 2:24Greg Jenner?

  A man called Ethelred the Unready. Slightly less cool name.

• 2:30Speaker 04

  George the Snotty. So, present. Amanda the Gassy. Sorry. Ethelred the Unready? Ethelred the Unready? Oh, of course, he's running late.

• 2:44Greg Jenner?

  Now, it may sound like he was always missing the bus with his jumper on backwards, but unready actually meant ill-advised. Now, Emma's brother thought it was a good idea to get Emma and Ethelred hitched, because back then, royal marriages were arranged between families. Bit cringe being seventeen and having your brother play matchmaker. Bro, you're so embarrassing. Stop trying to set me up with boys.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  He's not a boy, he's a widower with ten children. He's thirty-six years old.

• 3:14Greg Jenner?

  Yeesh. So off Emma went to England.

• 3:19Greg Jenner?

  The plan was that their marriage would unite England and Normandy against the invading Vikings. Combo attack, the power of marriage.

• 3:30Greg Jenner?

  And did it work? Mission failed. Not really. It may have actually made things worse. Exeter was attacked by Danish Vikings in 1003, maybe because they didn't like Normandy and England getting all kissy-kissy. Or maybe because the year before Ethelred had ordered the murder of all the Danish men in England. Hmm, sounds pretty ill-advised to me. Either way, some English people were now suspicious of Emma, even though as part of her royal marriage PR, she had been rebranded with an old English name: Elfgivu.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 4:07Greg Jenner?

  But we'll still call her Emma, otherwise it's going to get way too confusing, because Ethelred's previous wife and one of his daughters were also called Elfgivu. Not cool. But at least Ethelred could re-gift all the personalised mugs that he'd bought for his first wife. Now, sometime between 1003 and 1005, Emma gave birth to her first child, Edward, and then she gave birth to her daughter, Godkivu, who was born in 1007, and then along came a boy Alfred in 1012. But things didn't stay chill for long. The Vikings were still raging. My mid-balls! And then along came the fierce Viking, Svein Forkbeard.

• 4:51Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 4:52Greg Jenner?

  Now, Svein Forkbeard invaded England in 1013 and won, so Emma, the kids and Ethelred, still as unready as ever, had to run off to Emma's family in Normandy. Forkbeard was crowned the first Viking king of England.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  Check me out, Svein Forkbeard, a cool name, and king of Denmark, Norway, and England. England's Viking now, nothing can stop me!

• 5:24Greg Jenner?

  Except he dropped dead five weeks later.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  Oh, foy.

• 5:28Greg Jenner?

  With Svein Forkbeard dead, could Emma and Ethelred take back power? Well, Ethelred did return to England, but the Danish army had already decided that Svein's son was the new king, so enter King Canute.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 5:44Greg Jenner?

  However, Ethelred, ill-advised as ever, decided to set up a little stronghold in London and insisted he was still in charge.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  I'll have my own country, a better country, I will never give up, never, never, never!

• 6:00Greg Jenner?

  Ethelred then promptly died in 1016 in his silly little stronghold, very much not king.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Oh, fullie.

• 6:10Greg Jenner?

  Now Edward, Emma's child with Ethelred, was in no position to take on the Viking invaders since he was only about 10.

• 6:16Speaker 05

  Edward, love, uh, think you can help with these Vikings?

• 6:20Speaker 04

  But ma'am, I'm playing Fortnite!

• 6:23Greg Jenner?

  Luckily Ethelred had a spare heir from his first wife, Elfgivu, and the heir's name was Edmund Ironside.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 6:33Greg Jenner?

  Yeah, very cool. And he lived up to that tough name. Canute agreed to divide England with Edmund so they could both rule a bit of it.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Check me out! Edmund Ironside, a cool name and king of a lord of England. Nothing can stop me!

• 6:50Greg Jenner?

  Except, guess what happened?

• 6:52Speaker 04

  Well, it can't be that I dropped dead five weeks later. That couldn't happen twice!

• 6:57Greg Jenner?

  Yeah, he dropped dead five weeks later.

• 6:59Speaker 04

  You're kidding me!

• 7:02Greg Jenner?

  All these dead kings left Emma in a really scary position. With Edmund Ironside dead, Canute decided to stop sharing nicely and killed a bunch of Ethelred's family. Emma must have been terrified that she or her kids would be next. So how did she stop Canute killing her whole family?

• 7:21Speaker 05

  If you can't beat them, marry them!

• 7:24Greg Jenner?

  Yep, she married Canute. Some sources, including a book that Emma commissioned herself, said it was all very romantic.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  I love you so, even though I killed a load of your dead hubby's family.

• 7:38Speaker 05

  Well, it's just like a rom-com. Kiss me?

• 7:43Greg Jenner?

  But other reports suggested it was a bit more...

• 7:46Speaker 04

  Oi, I need to make a strong political alliance by marrying someone with lots of power and influence. Guess that's you?

• 7:51Speaker 05

  Fine, as long as you don't name me after your first wife.

• 7:55Greg Jenner?

  And so Emma became Queen of England for the second time. But there was one snag with Emma marrying Canute. Canute was already married. And guess what his wife was called?

• 8:07Speaker 05

  So it's Elfgivu again, is it?

• 8:09Greg Jenner?

  It is!

• 8:10Speaker 05

  Not another one!

• 8:12Greg Jenner?

  Yep, a third Elfgivu has entered the chat. And in our tale full of cool names, get ready for Elfgivu of Northampton.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  Less cool name.

• 8:23Greg Jenner?

  Yeah, it does sound a bit like a car dealership. Eh, they can't all be winners. Regardless of the messy start, Emma and Canute's marriage seems to have been quite stable. They had two kids together, a boy called Harther Canute and a girl called Gunhildur, which are both

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Cool names.

• 8:41Greg Jenner?

  And the couple stayed together until 1035, when

• 8:45Speaker 05

  Let me guess, another man in my life dropped dead? Throwing England into chaos and leaving me in big trouble?

• 8:54Greg Jenner?

  Yep, sorry, Emma.

• 8:55Speaker 05

  Honestly.

• 8:56Greg Jenner?

  So you've got one dead king, two surviving wives, and a lot of potential heirs to the throne. The main contender was Canute's first wife's son, Harold Harefoot.

• 9:07Speaker 04

  Cool name.

• 9:08Greg Jenner?

  Both Elfgivu of Northampton and Queen Emma were trying to make their boys king. Talk about competitive mums.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  My Harold was walking at 10 months.

• 9:17Speaker 05

  Pathetic. My Harther Canute was running by then. Like he should be running England.

• 9:23Greg Jenner?

  It was a surprise win for Elfgivu. At Oxford in 1035, Harold Harefoot was made regent, basically king of England, while Emma was sent to Winchester to rule over a smaller chunk of England called Wessex on Harther Canute's behalf, while Harther Canute himself swanned off to Denmark.

• 9:43Speaker 05

  Oi, where are you off to? I just scored you a small kingdom.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  Cool story mum, but I'm off. Don't touch my stuff, bye.

• 9:49Greg Jenner?

  By 1037, Harold had the power, and Emma was alone. So was Harold nice to her? No. He took away all the treasures his dad, Canute, had given Emma.

• 10:03Speaker 05

  Those were for my hubby.

• 10:05Greg Jenner?

  And then he threw her out of the country. Exiling her to Flanders. Whoopsie doodly. Not that Flanders, it's a place in what's now Belgium. Still, all of this was a horrid way to treat your stepmum. I told you these guys were like a reality show. And since she was all about the messy drama too, Emma responded to all of this chaos in a very regal way. By spreading nasty rumours about Harold Harefoot.

• 10:31Speaker 05

  Baby's not a son of Althegu at all. Less alone of Knut. There is a reason Harold looks like the maid.

• 10:39Greg Jenner?

  And the messy drama didn't stop there. Remember Alfred and Edward, the boys that Emma had with Ethelred? Well, in 1036, both lads led separate attacks on England using Norman soldiers, hoping to claim the throne. But it looks like Alfred shared his dad's lack of common sense, because he was promptly captured.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Uh oh.

• 11:00Greg Jenner?

  And blinded.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Ow!

• 11:01Greg Jenner?

  And killed.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  Alfie.

• 11:04Greg Jenner?

  Whether Emma had advised them to go ahead with this terrible invasion idea is unknown. But we do know that Edward never forgave his mother for what had happened to his little bro, Alfred.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  What a sad little life, mother.

• 11:18Greg Jenner?

  Harold Harefoot may have had a cool name, but he was a pretty unpopular king. And in 1041, guess what happened?

• 11:27Speaker 05

  Did another of my relatives, who happened to be the king at the time, drop dead?

• 11:32Greg Jenner?

  Yep.

• 11:32Speaker 05

  I'm sensing a pattern here.

• 11:34Greg Jenner?

  Yeah, with her stepson Harold Harefoot dead, Emma made sure that Arthur Knut was made king. Not her other boy Edward. I guess Arthur Knut was her favourite son.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  Gets more pudding and is favourite to be king? It's because he's the youngest, you baby him.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  Your half-brother is a perfect angel, Dublin.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Mother, he is 23.

• 11:56Greg Jenner?

  And because they were all about the messy family drama, Arthur Knut celebrated by digging up the body of his half-brother Harefoot.

• 12:06Greg Jenner?

  Oh, and flinging it into a swamp.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  That's the getting more pudding than I got.

• 12:11Greg Jenner?

  Emma, the two-time queen of England, was now also the mother of the King of England. Finally. And they say that behind every powerful man is a great woman. Well, in early 11th century England, that woman was always Emma. Sadly, soon after that-

• 12:29Speaker 05

  Don't you dare say my son, the king, dropped dead.

• 12:33Greg Jenner?

  Kind of. Sorry, Emma. He got really poorly, so Emma flew to her son's side and, uh, got him to invite her other son Edward to co-rule with him. So, when in 1042, Arthur Canute did drop dead-

• 12:50Speaker 05

  Can all you men please stop dying?

• 12:55Greg Jenner?

  Edward just took over as king, full-time. It had taken a lot of work, but Emma was still the king's mother, again. Good news for her, right?

• 13:06Speaker 05

  Oh, come on!

• 13:08Greg Jenner?

  Edward was still pretty grumpy over Alfred's death. And he was scared of Emma having power, so he seized all of her wealth, leaving her just enough to live off.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  I work by political allegiances to the bone, getting you to the throne, and this is how you thank your mother? Not even flowers.

• 13:28Greg Jenner?

  Edward went on to be known as Edward the Confessor. But that's another story for another day. Emma spent her final years in Winchester, without her kids or grandkids. Bit lonely. They didn't even have Zoom back then to keep in touch. Emma died on the 6th of March 1052, aged about 70. She was remembered for marrying well and giving birth to boys. In 11th century England, that would have been considered an impressive CV. But maybe we should celebrate her in all her messy glory as the powerful, business-minded centre of royal family drama. The Kris Jenner of medieval politics.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  Taking selfies.

• 14:10Greg Jenner?

  So, how much do you remember from today's speedy history lesson? Let's find out. Pencils at the ready. Question one: who were the people that kept invading England in the early 11th century?

• 14:23Speaker 04

  The Vikings!

• 14:26Greg Jenner?

  Question two: how many times was Emma Queen of England?

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Twice.

• 14:33Greg Jenner?

  And question three: what was the old English name Emma was given? And also the name of both of her husband's ex-wives?

• 14:43Greg Jenner?

  Alfkiwu. Well done. Join us next time for another snappy history lesson. And if you're a grown up and want to learn more about Emma of Normandy, listen to our episode of You're Dead to Me with Professor Elizabeth Tyler. Thanks for listening. Bye. This was a BBC Studios audio production for Radio 4. Dead Funny History was written by Gabby Hutchinson Crouch, Athena Kuplenou and Dr Emma Nagouse. It was hosted by me, Greg Jenner, and performed by Malian Rees and John Luke Roberts. The script consultant was Professor Elizabeth Tyler.

• 15:19Speaker 06

  It often starts with a question. What were lines doing in York in the 3rd century? Why was Jeremy a lonely snail? Then we search for answers.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  It's one of the first times, really, that you consistently see someone painting teeth. I know that sounds bonkers. If I was going to define mathematics, I would say it's the study of structure.

• 15:37Speaker 06

  As I was doing the research for the programme, my jaw just dropped further and further down. In Our Time is a world-class seminar every week. Watch the discussions unfold and explore over a thousand conversations in our archive. I'm Misha Glennie and every week I'm joined by expert guests to explore the ideas that shape our world. In Our Time. Listen on bbc.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 16:08Speaker 06

  Coffee?

• 16:08Speaker 05

  Love a cup of tea. I'll have tea too.

• 16:10Speaker 06

  Tea for me, please.