Katherine Blanford!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Katherine Blanford! You know Katherine Blanford from stand up comedy, Bertcast w/ Bert Kreischer, Coastal Idiots, First Date, The Tiny Meat Gang Podcast, Trash Tuesday, KFC Radio, Community Service w/ Craig Conant and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Tushy: Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code GARBAGE at https://hellotushy.com/GARBAGE Nutrafol: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to https://Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code GARBAGE. Trade Coffee: For a limited time, Trade is giving 50% off a month of cold brew. That’s around 60 cups of cold brew, for 50% off when you go to https://drinktrade.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:25H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're going to be classy.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:29H. Foley?

  Or they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:32H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new addition. She just got back from doing the Rorschach test, okay?

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify, and our boys are climbing the charts over there.

• 0:59H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Go over there, you get all that bonus content.

• 1:07H. Foley?

  Uh huh. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. She's one of our faves. We've been wanting to have her on the show for a long time. She's a very funny stand-up comedian. You can hear her every week on her amazing podcast, Coastal Idiots, with our good pal, Mr. Shane Torres.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Shout out to him.

• 1:24H. Foley?

  Give it up for Catherine Blandford, everybody. There she is. Just flew in from LA, baby.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Just as she said, I said, are we so good? She goes, I just landed. That was like an hour ago.

• 1:33H. Foley?

  Actually, she didn't fly in from LA. She flew in from Kentucky, where she was at a music festival doing mushrooms.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  Doing mushrooms with Pete Lee.

• 1:42H. Foley?

  And now you're, you got a, you didn't get a hotel, you got a, a, a storage unit that you're staying in in Midtown Manhattan.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm staying in a garage.

• 1:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  Okay?

• 1:50H. Foley?

  Add that to Dunkin' Donuts, tall boy, that you have in front of you.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Can I see the order?

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's actually kind of-

• 1:56Speaker 02

  Light roast, almond milk, one espresso shot.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  It's not as strong-

• 2:00Speaker 02

  That's pretty classy.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  Well, why light roast? Light roast, then an espresso shot?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  I didn't ask for light roast. I said, give me drip. And then she looked at me and judged me.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  This bitch can't handle regular drip.

• 2:11H. Foley?

  She's checking out the ice.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  I go, give me that drip, drip.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Hit you with-

• 2:15H. Foley?

  All right, I'll give you that.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  But my pod is-

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Man, right into shameless plugs. I respect it.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Just let me tell you about Pod 39.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Oh, Jesus.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  No, not that.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  I forget about that pod.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  She's staying at one of those weird Japanese hotels with all the businessmen.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Are you saving that much?

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Y- yes!

• 2:35Speaker 02

  How much is it a night?

• 2:36Speaker 03

  I don't, I'm paying 1,200 for three nights.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  That's not that, that's expensive.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, yeah. Have you, have you looked at any other hotels around New York?

• 2:45Speaker 02

  No, I live here. I don't need to say, I never thought about it that way.

• 2:48H. Foley?

  I stayed in, I stayed in a couple this summer, in the middle of July. City Club, City Club Hotel.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Things weren't going great.

• 2:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, it was actually very affordable and nice.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  No way.

• 2:58H. Foley?

  So I left there.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  How many friends do you, you have friends here, right? You didn't have one friend you could've stayed with?

• 3:04Speaker 02

  That New Yorker, there's no room for a guy his size to crash at your house for a couple of weeks.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  And not really.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:11H. Foley?

  Plus I was crying a lot and all that stuff. It wasn't a great hang.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  Shit.

• 3:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, but, that, that, my personal...

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Neither here nor there.

• 3:18H. Foley?

  My personal controversies are not on, not on trial here.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Wait, isn't it nice?

• 3:23H. Foley?

  You could've saved, you could've, you didn't, you didn't save that much money. You could've got a regular hotel.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  No, I won't. I won't. I, when I, when I'm in New York, I like to be like, "Oh, I wanna suffer."

• 3:32H. Foley?

  Shared bathroom?

• 3:34Speaker 03

  No, not shared bathroom, but no bathroom almost.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  It's like, it's in the living room type deal.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's called, it's called a toilet bath shower.

• 3:42H. Foley?

  They have that at the Tommy in, uh, in Austin.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 3:46H. Foley?

  The toilet's in the shower.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  I love that. I stayed there. It all goes in one drain.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that's the worst. Fucking wake up half drunk in the middle of the night, you'd fucking fall and snap your neck.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Well, you just take a shower and you pee at the same time.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  I've done that.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  And then you go to, down in the lobby to go number two.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Is that what you do?

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  Really? Why?

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Hey, guys, have you never been in a new relationship?

• 4:09H. Foley?

  Oh, there was somebody in there with you.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  I gotta go check. The wifi's not working.

• 4:14H. Foley?

  I would've went three towns over. What are you, nine yards?

• 4:16Speaker 03

  You go down there, there's a line of new girlfriends.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  I thought you were in there by yourself.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  Nay, nay.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Okay, that makes sense.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Never in the Tommy.

• 4:24H. Foley?

  You were that much of a lady.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Shoot, I keep thinking I wanna be trashy.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  You should be a southern belle, no?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, give us the backstory, by the way.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, cuz I'm, I don't.

• 4:32H. Foley?

  Start from jump.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  I know, I'm, I don't know what I am.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  I got a, I got a, I got a pretty good, uh, I got a pretty good indicator.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  I look adorable.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  I'm so cute.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 4:41H. Foley?

  Bit of a loose cannon.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I grew up on a cul-de-sac, though. Really? My first car was a champagne Mazda Protege.

• 4:48H. Foley?

  Alright, slow down, slow down. These are great, I like this.

• 4:52H. Foley?

  Where did you grow up?

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Louisville, Kentucky.

• 4:54H. Foley?

  Louisville, Kentucky.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:55H. Foley?

  In the suburbs or in the city proper?

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Uh, suburbs, the whole city's kind of a suburb. No, suburbs, suburbs, suburbs.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Is that true?

• 5:02Speaker 03

  We were in a cul-de-sac. Now, here's the dilly. My family was the, doing the best of all the aunts and uncles and cousins, though.

• 5:10H. Foley?

  I understand.

• 5:11Speaker 03

  Both my parents grew up on tobacco farms. My dad is one of ten.

• 5:14H. Foley?

  Really?

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Uh, his brothers are his cousins, and his aunt is his stepmom, kind of.

• 5:23H. Foley?

  His brothers are his cousins.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  I didn't stutter.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Is that true, or like, he's like, they're like his brother?

• 5:29Speaker 03

  They're his cousins. My grandpa, um...

• 5:31H. Foley?

  Wait, what?

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Let me explain, let me explain.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  It's just a real hillbilly shit we got going on here.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  My grandpa, um...

• 5:36H. Foley?

  Miss Light Roast?

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Shot of espresso, my fucking ball sack.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  This is my third one. Um, he, uh, my grandpa was married to a lady, they had three children. He, uh, was a pilot, he actually lied, he was, he, uh, and he was too young to be a pilot, so they kicked him out of the war, and he was training pilots in Texas.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  And, uh, then he owned a farm, it was some, some land, whatever, and on the, she, the, his wife was driving to the airport to pick him up, got in a car crash. She died, the middle child died. So he was widowed, he was going back to war to train pilots.

• 6:11H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  He had ten, two ki, two boys at home.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Her younger sister moved into the house to help with the boys.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  That's what happened in The Patriot. Mel Gibson started banging the, the sister.

• 6:21H. Foley?

  Not until the end.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Don't matter, she had a set of, she had a set of cans on her that one time.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  One of my favorite movies. You know when I was growing up, it was The Patriot and Emperor's New Groove.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  What the hell is that? Is that a cartoon?

• 6:32H. Foley?

  Disney cartoon, yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  It's spade.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Dude, those are polar opposites, I'll give you it. You know that movie where he murders people with a hatchet?

• 6:39H. Foley?

  Alright, so that explains cousins and the brothers.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, they're nineteen years apart.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Did they, did they had kids, together?

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Then they had eight more kids together, they're nineteen years apart.

• 6:48H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  They had eight kids together?

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, so my brother, my dad's one of ten, total.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  Gotcha. And your dad does the best out of all the...

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Pretty much.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Ten.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, he went into the big city. Most of my aunts and uncles.

• 7:01H. Foley?

  Stayed on the tobacco farm?

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:03H. Foley?

  How does that do?

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Uh, it was booming.

• 7:06H. Foley?

  Who do they sell to?

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Until the vapes came around.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Until big vape biz.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I might have to get back on the heaters to help the bland.

• 7:15H. Foley?

  You got tobacco farm money?

• 7:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, dawg.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  Did you ever work the fields or anything like that?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. We would just, we would just dance underneath the drying leaves in the barn. Yeah.

• 7:24H. Foley?

  Who did they sell to? Do you know? Was it RJ Reynolds or Winston?

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Uh...

• 7:29H. Foley?

  Who you guys?

• 7:30Speaker 02

  It's only a couple of big buyers.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

• 7:34H. Foley?

  Big operation?

• 7:34Speaker 03

  The Kennedys?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  That's also, that is such a, that's such a girl thing to like not have any idea. It's just like, yeah, I don't know. They just, you ever ask a girl what her dad does? They have no fucking clue what they do.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  I don't know. He sells light bulbs or something? You're like, what?

• 7:47H. Foley?

  I don't know. New Mercedes shows up every couple of weeks.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  I just assumed they showed up and they were like their own distillery or something. And they were just like...

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Selling it. Like they were also then out on the street selling, you know? Who needs a big tobacco?

• 7:58H. Foley?

  Did they do well? Was it a big operation?

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  How many acres?

• 8:01Speaker 03

  He owned most of the land in Marion County slash Lebanon.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  Your grandfather?

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, which is close to Barge Town where all the bourbons made.

• 8:08H. Foley?

  Ah, Barge Town.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Billbillies love naming counties and or like greater swatch, swatches of land that they think you know. You know what I mean? That's right by Sagerville. You're like, what the fuck?

• 8:19H. Foley?

  Marion County? God damn!

• 8:21Speaker 03

  And let me tell you, that's close to, and we call it Versailles. Would you call it Versailles?

• 8:26H. Foley?

  Versailles.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  But we call it Versailles. And my dad, if you asked him where he is, where he's from, he'd say Lebanon.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Lebanon.

• 8:32H. Foley?

  Lebanon. Instead of Lebanon.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:34H. Foley?

  Yeah, alright.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Lebanon.

• 8:35H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm with you on that.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Go Birds!

• 8:38H. Foley?

  Keeping it old, keeping it old school.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:41H. Foley?

  Okay, alright.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 8:42H. Foley?

  Now, what did your dad do to, to do well?

• 8:45Speaker 02

  He went to the big city, packed his bags, "I'm going to the big city."

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, he got a University of Kentucky pharmacist, uh, degree. He's pharmacist. He met, he met my mom from Owensboro, Kentucky. The Borough. And, um...

• 8:57H. Foley?

  Man, all your dad had to do was become a pharmacist and he beat out eight guys.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  That's big city living.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying. He goes...

• 9:03H. Foley?

  That ain't Marion County. I don't know what is.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  A lottie frickin' die. Here comes Jim with all his pills and medicine.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  Moved into the city, got his bartender last night.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  And then now he's selling pills and medicine to all the people that were smoking the rest of their lives.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Oh, he became a sales rep?

• 9:21Speaker 03

  No, he's a big pharmacist.

• 9:23H. Foley?

  Own pharmacy or like working for another company?

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Work, dude, he worked night shift at Walgreens most of my childhood.

• 9:30H. Foley?

  Really?

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, dog.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Damn. And that's doing well.

• 9:34H. Foley?

  I think pharmacists do very well.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Uh, I think they're fine.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  He's not bright or anything. He's, he was like...

• 9:42Speaker 02

  He ain't book smart.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's not like...

• 9:45H. Foley?

  He knows how to move a pill.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  This is back in the day pharmacist. You know what I'm saying? This is like...

• 9:51H. Foley?

  No, please explain.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  They weren't like... This isn't like we have to tell you by the books what, how you should take this medicine.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  This is him sizing you up.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Sizing you up.

• 10:03H. Foley?

  More of a recommendation.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  What are you, about two, two fifty? You can handle yourself?

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  I asked you something, you like the party?

• 10:10H. Foley?

  And what about your mom? What did she do?

• 10:12Speaker 03

  She was a nurse.

• 10:13H. Foley?

  Okay, okay.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:15H. Foley?

  Pharmacist and a nurse?

• 10:17Speaker 03

  I know, big, big meds, but family.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  And so was that their occupation to get you in the house in the cul-de-sac? That's what they did your whole, yeah?

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  And how many brothers and sisters?

• 10:27Speaker 03

  One older brother, two years older, one younger brother, five years younger.

• 10:31H. Foley?

  That's great, that's a good combo.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  I know. Now, here's the classy thing. This is beautiful. We went to Catholic schools our whole life. All girls Catholic high school, all boys Catholic high school.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  Oh, you guys didn't go to high school together?

• 10:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 10:43H. Foley?

  Two years apart's perfect. Me and my brother were two years apart. It was great.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  I know, isn't that so fun?

• 10:48H. Foley?

  Yeah. I had a senior when I was a sophomore. Didn't tell me nothing.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Now, boy, girl's the most fun because, especially if the girl's younger.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  There's no room for brothers. And you need a route to school.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Somebody pick me up in my cul-de-sac.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  And they all had fake IDs. So when you would get in trouble and you need an adult to...

• 11:09Speaker 02

  A guardian.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, to come get you from the police.

• 11:12H. Foley?

  Oh, no kidding.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  His friends would come with their fake IDs.

• 11:15H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  And pick me up.

• 11:16H. Foley?

  All right.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  That's something that can only happen in Kentucky.

• 11:19H. Foley?

  Both would...

• 11:19Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  New York, that would not happen in New York.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  I know, we'd show the cop, like, it'd be like a nineteen year old being like, I'm twenty-six.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  All Catholic schools, doing well.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:29H. Foley?

  Cul-de-sac.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:30H. Foley?

  How big was the house?

• 11:32Speaker 02

  How many bedrooms?

• 11:33Speaker 03

  One, two, three, four bedrooms.

• 11:34H. Foley?

  Four bedrooms?

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, but, but...

• 11:37H. Foley?

  Pool?

• 11:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 11:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  No, sod farm behind our house.

• 11:41H. Foley?

  The fuck is that?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Sod farm.

• 11:43H. Foley?

  Sod?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  I speak Kentucky.

• 11:44H. Foley?

  Like the grass?

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  You know what sod is?

• 11:46Speaker 02

  That's still a farm, you gotta farm it. They don't just go to people's yards and take it.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm so sorry. This is...

• 11:51H. Foley?

  I always thought that's what they did.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  This is like, okay, I have hair extensions in. This is your yard's hair extensions.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, we know sod. He just didn't know how they made sod.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  So, hold on, was it just a huge lawn, basically? Probably really nice.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  Well, god, I guess I know more about agriculture than I thought. They would switch between...

• 12:10Speaker 02

  It's grass, let's not...

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Sod?

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Not cross-pollinating seeds here.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  You, call it grass one more time, motherfucker. Call it grass.

• 12:19H. Foley?

  That's Marion County sod, motherfucker.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is shit, that is international grass to you.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  That's Kentucky bluegrass, pussy.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that's going over Japan. That's nice grass.

• 12:31H. Foley?

  Oh, fuck, was it?

• 12:31Speaker 02

  They sent tuna here, we sent grass.

• 12:33H. Foley?

  Wait, was it Kentucky bluegrass?

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Y- yeah, yeah.

• 12:36H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  But it's...

• 12:38H. Foley?

  I never thought about Kentucky bluegrass being an actual thing.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's freaking sod after.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Sod, sod after sod, sod after sod.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Now, you gotta go, you gotta go soy one year and then sod next year, so you mix up the soil.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  That makes sense.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  You know about this?

• 12:52Speaker 02

  I don't, but I've...

• 12:53Speaker 03

  VARIATION.

• 12:55H. Foley?

  But, hold on, so when it was...

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Sorry, I don't know why I'm...

• 12:57Speaker 02

  You said that like such a bitch and I respect that. VARIATION.

• 13:00H. Foley?

  When it was sod, was it just like a beautiful field of grass?

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, and this is the dope part, this is what we would do when we get in trouble. So, they go, they take a, they take a, um, machine and it comes and it cuts rows and then little... So, it comes off, so then it's like cut into these like long strips.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  I'm with you.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  And they, they'd leave that out there for you, for a few weeks so the lines get cooked. I don't know how to say that. Then they roll it up, so then you have these strips of just long dirt. And we were like...

• 13:26H. Foley?

  I've seen them.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Mudslide! And so then we would go out there with buckets of water and turn those into mudslides.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  Would they get upset at that?

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Uh, yes, we...

• 13:36H. Foley?

  Have to assume.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, we would have to run a few times from those farmers.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  But you live right behind it, they probably knew who you were.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  Wasn't the best crime.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  So, we were, you know what it is? Do you guys feel, where did y'all grow up?

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Outside of Philly.

• 13:53H. Foley?

  Outside of Philly suburbs.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Do you feel like we were, and you guys are close to my age?

• 13:57Speaker 02

  I'm 21.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. Never mind, you don't even get me.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Do you feel like we were the last, uh, like latchkey generations?

• 14:07H. Foley?

  How old are you?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Uh, 20, 34, 27, 35.

• 14:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, I would say your generation probably was.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Dude, it was like, our parents were just gone, like they were at work, and we were just, and we had Jackass.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  And all we did all day was just try and recreate shit we saw on Jackass. And like our parents-

• 14:25Speaker 02

  That was big.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  You know, and it was just like, it was so fun. It was just-

• 14:28Speaker 02

  I feel like, no, I feel like me and my mom were roommates.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  For a lot of the time.

• 14:33H. Foley?

  His mom worked third shift too.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Second shift, I suppose.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  So, second shift, A.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  She'd get home at like midnight or whatever.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  Oh, so she was exhausted?

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:42H. Foley?

  Although it was great, yeah.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  That'll hap, that'll happen when you're a barfly. She was a professional drunk.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  Luke, you're 27, did you have any latchkey kids?

• 14:53Speaker 04

  I would say that switched over pretty heavily.

• 14:55H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 14:55Speaker 04

  You would know the latchkey kids in my grade.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Who was home when you got home from school?

• 14:59Speaker 02

  The bad kids.

• 15:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, uh, mom or dad.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Or the nanny?

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Seriously?

• 15:02Speaker 04

  Yeah. Never a nanny.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, what the hell did they do? How were they home?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  They were rich.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, my, my mom started working, uh, when I was in middle school, and my dad came home.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Oh, 'cause she was bored and she needed a little hobby?

• 15:16H. Foley?

  Now, these are, these are-

• 15:17Speaker 03

  She needed a passion project?

• 15:18H. Foley?

  These are CEOs and intelligentsia people.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Telligentsia. I haven't even heard of that religion.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  I thought that was a magazine.

• 15:25H. Foley?

  Never heard of the Dempsey Group?

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Don't talk to me like that.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Cop a fucking attitude with me? Coming here throwing your big words at me?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Let me just tell you why you switched from soy to sod, okay? I don't know where the Dempseys are.

• 15:37H. Foley?

  So, yes, you would be on the end of the, of the latchkey phenomenon.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Sure. It was so fun. Yeah, it was so dope, so fun. Uh, we had a fucking hoot and blast. I, that, by the way, I don't know any cultural references or anything, because our parents weren't around, they didn't teach us anything. We were outside- Raising a ruckus.

• 15:55H. Foley?

  You got jackass.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Raising a ruckus.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, wow. I didn't, we didn't watch TV or any of that shit.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Were there any sports growing up?

• 16:02Speaker 03

  No, we didn't have pro football or anything, so it was Kentucky basketball through, through baby.

• 16:05H. Foley?

  What do you mean you didn't have pro, oh, you know, in the town?

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, Kentucky basketball was our NFL team.

• 16:10H. Foley?

  What about you, though? Did you play sports growing up?

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, so I ran cross country.

• 16:14H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  And I hated it so much, was the only sport, because there was no cut.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  And so, this is so bad.

• 16:20H. Foley?

  Talk about getting by, I like it.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  I would.

• 16:23H. Foley?

  No cut, no drug testing.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Duh. Okay, during practice, you know, you were just like, we gotta run to the field for forty-five minutes. We'd run into the, into the woods, and then we'd just chill.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  They were like hippies to me.

• 16:34H. Foley?

  Dude, we would see that, like, every two hours, they'd come running by like a herd of deer.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Scare the shit out of you.

• 16:40H. Foley?

  Like, what the fuck are you guys doing?

• 16:41Speaker 03

  And they're having a conversation, too, and you're like, how are you talking right now?

• 16:46H. Foley?

  Yeah, they just ran in a loop.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they're just, their little muscles are just popping out everywhere.

• 16:52H. Foley?

  And as even fat as I am, when they were like, it's only three miles, I was like, what, three miles? That's cross country?

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Wait, you were going, it's only three miles?

• 17:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's cross country?

• 17:02Speaker 03

  You know what we would?

• 17:03Speaker 02

  It's not even.

• 17:03H. Foley?

  Chicago's cross country.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  That's not even cross to county. That's not even cross half American county.

• 17:08H. Foley?

  Bullshit.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 17:09H. Foley?

  Put the pads on, lady.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Can I call, can I say your kind?

• 17:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  We, so it was no cut.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Fat people?

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, listen.

• 17:18H. Foley?

  Was it fat people?

• 17:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was no cut. So we had, we called them the shufflers.

• 17:23H. Foley?

  Oh, okay.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Gotcha. In his defense, he used to be an athlete.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Did you really? Football?

• 17:32H. Foley?

  Sure, football, wrestling, lacrosse, college football and lacrosse.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Now, when you did wrestling.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Were you just kinda like, were y'all just laying on each other?

• 17:41H. Foley?

  Is that what you think?

• 17:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  It's hotter that way.

• 17:46H. Foley?

  It was a little Romanesque.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  We were just cuddling.

• 17:49H. Foley?

  Kevin, we gotta talk about Tushy.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Shout out to Tushy gang.

• 17:52H. Foley?

  I could use it right now, I'll tell you that right now. I got a little swamp butt going, not gonna lie. Gang, what are you doing? You wiping your ass? Come on. Do yourself a favor, get over to Tushy, get the bidet system hooked up on a turtleneck and get that butthole squeaky clean. We like squeaky clean buttholes, don't we Kevin?

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, Tushy is the everyday luxury bidet that instantly transforms your bathroom habits and bottom health for life. 99% of people who wash with Tushy Wave feel cleaner and fresher than going after going to the bathroom. Tushy Wave instantly modernizes your daily routine and bathroom with a super sleek seat, plus two separate front and rear nozzles for the most complete clean. I'm talking get you in the front and the back.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Oooh.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  Hey then. Uh, every Tushy bidet easily attaches to your existing toilet without the need for additional plumbing. You set it up and baby, you'll be squeaky, squeaky clean.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  Squeaky clean.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Uh, remember, a-hole is only a dirty word if you wipe. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use the code GARBAGE at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at helloTushy.com, promo code GARBAGE. One more time, helloTushy.com, promo code GARBAGE. Do it. Yeah.

• 19:01H. Foley?

  Kevin, let's talk about NutraFol.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Shout out to NutraFol, big dog.

• 19:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't know if I've ever told you about this buddy of mine.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:09H. Foley?

  You don't know him.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Uh-uh.

• 19:10H. Foley?

  He goes to a different school.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:11H. Foley?

  Up in Canada.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:13H. Foley?

  He has some hair thinning issues.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:18H. Foley?

  Okay, nice guy, good guy.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  Good friend of yours, but hair issues. Thinning.

• 19:21H. Foley?

  Yes. Small penis too, but this product can't really help that.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:26H. Foley?

  You know, so we're concentrating on the hair.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Sure, listen.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  And I've been recommending that he should go to NutraFol and get straightened out a little bit.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Sure, listen, uh, I think your friend, sounds like a nice guy, it's most likely me. NutraFol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people.

• 19:45H. Foley?

  It's a lot of people.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  You can feel great by knowing what you're putting in your body since NutraFol hair growth supplements are backed by peer-reviewed studies and NSF content certified, the gold standard in third-party certification, third-party certification for supplements.

• 19:57H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Uh, guys, listen, I use NutraFol, my hair journey, my hair issue journey has been long and there's, you know, different varieties of it.

• 20:05H. Foley?

  I was gonna say, it's looking pretty good these days.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  NutraFol is a, you know, hair growth...

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Supplement that I've turned to to not do the medications and stuff like that. And I've seen thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with NutraFol. For a limited time, NutraFol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrafol.com. Use the promo code garbage. Find out why NutraFol is the best selling hair growth supplement brand at nutrafol.com. Spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com. Promo code garbage at nutrafol.com. Promo code garbage. Do it.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  So I would, I would, I would fake the practice, right? Run through the woods and chill there. And then when the races would happen, I would care for the first mile and they'd be like, I hate this. And so I started fake passing out.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  I respect it.

• 20:55H. Foley?

  Crazy.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Here's the first mistake I made. At first I was like, I'm not going to be a good seller to pass out. So I was like, I'll pass out in the woods when there's not a lot of viewers, right? So yeah, they, so they, and then a girl will be like, there's a girl passed out. And so I passed out in the woods, but then every, all these bitches are so competitive. They're like, this is one person I will definitely beat. So no one told on me. So I had to fake wake up.

• 21:22H. Foley?

  Oh my God. That's brutal.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Had to fake come to.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  Run until I saw like a mother who would care and then fake pass out again. So that somebody would be like, we've got one down. And, and then.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Why wouldn't you just fake like a hand or something?

• 21:39Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. I tried in the beginning, I was like, I will fake sprain an ankle. Have you ever tried to fake sprain an ankle?

• 21:46Speaker 02

  It's a lot of acting.

• 21:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  At least with the pass out, you're like, I don't know what happened.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  I'm dizzy, let me sit down. An ankle, you gotta milk for that. That's like a three week gig.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  Right. And then, and also it's just like, I think I tried to actually sprain my ankle too. It's hard to, it's hard to do it on purpose.

• 22:02H. Foley?

  And there in the woods hitting yourself with a rock.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  I hate running. Don't tell nobody you saw this.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Did you, had, did your parents make you participate? Like, what's the, why couldn't you just go, "I don't want to run anymore"?

• 22:14Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know. I think it was like, I have to do a sport.

• 22:17H. Foley?

  Fake pass out, that's...

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Someone who's faked asthma attacks.

• 22:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  That's kind of what it was.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  But I had asthma, so I could be like, "That's bothering me."

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Oh, it's so smart.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  The pass out is severe.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  That's a unique level of trash.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  I would do, dude, I, I started doing it like, by, by the fourth or fifth race that I did it, the coach stopped leaving, that I was actually passing out. But my mom cared so much. Started doing it right in front of him. Yeah, he would, he would just, he'd keep running. He'd be like, "I don't..."

• 22:44H. Foley?

  They must have thought you were nuts.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Insane.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  If you were busted and they knew, man.

• 22:49Speaker 03

  They knew, he knew, he knew, but what's he gonna say?

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's also like a 16-year-old girl who's clearly lying and has some problems. So his parents aren't, ain't giving her enough attention at home, she's acting out in the woods.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  He can't look at me, a white girl at a Catholic, all-girls Catholic school and be like, "This lying whore."

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Whore was, I mean, that's just your take on it, I wasn't gonna say anything.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Well, I'd pass out like this.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Shirt's unbuttoned?

• 23:17H. Foley?

  My word!

• 23:18Speaker 02

  I hope there's no hot guys in the woods.

• 23:21H. Foley?

  Out there like Vivian Leigh?

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Also a guy that, who's bad.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Deep cut, I presume.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Who, has anyone gotten that reference?

• 23:29H. Foley?

  She was in a streetcar named Desire.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, four people.

• 23:32H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Your movie references are deep. By the way, I hadn't seen City of Angels. I thought I had, when you asked me, and then I realized what I saw was the baseball movie with the Angels.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Field of Angels.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  Field of Angels.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Angels in the outfield.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I saw.

• 23:48H. Foley?

  The reason that the Google, the reason the Google Dolls had such big...

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Google Dolls?

• 23:52H. Foley?

  Goo-goo Doll, what did I say?

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Google Dolls.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  The goo.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  I'm more of a Yahoo doll, man, myself.

• 23:56H. Foley?

  The Google Dolls. The reason the Goo-Goo Dolls had such a huge, uh, push on mainstream was because they did the soundtrack for City of Angels, which is where they got the song "Iris", where he wrote the song "Iris" for. That's what really blew them up.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  I'm singing, singing, singing. Is that goo goo?

• 24:14H. Foley?

  What?

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Are you goo goo for Gaga?

• 24:18H. Foley?

  What the hell are you talking about?

• 24:22Speaker 03

  When I tell you I don't have any cultural references or know any lyrics to anything.

• 24:25H. Foley?

  You just said you were a fan of the Google Dolls. You just got back from a festival where they were.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  She was on drugs.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  I know this, but you play the song and I love the song, but if you.

• 24:33H. Foley?

  You don't know Iris, "And I don't want the world to see me."

• 24:37Speaker 03

  This is how I would sing that. And I would be belting it.

• 24:39H. Foley?

  Is that what you were doing?

• 24:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I go this.

• 24:46H. Foley?

  Catherine, fake pass out. Go.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  If you went back, your mouth open. All right, geez, get your mind out of the gutter.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  All right, all right, all right. So, uh, my mom cared. She took me to go to see a doctor because I kept passing out.

• 25:01H. Foley?

  Oh shit.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Was in there for.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Now you're lying to a doctor?

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Was in there for hours. They're like, "We're not seeing anything." And I was like.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Check again.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Find it. Um, then she was awesome. Then I, I went to South Carolina for school because I got into.

• 25:14H. Foley?

  Did you eventually tell them that you were fake? Do your parents know today that, what grade was this?

• 25:19Speaker 03

  All the way to senior year.

• 25:21H. Foley?

  You did this for four years?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  Just stop running.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  I, uh.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Join the fucking, yeah, chess club or something.

• 25:27H. Foley?

  Welcome back to Are You a Lunatic? Really?

• 25:31Speaker 03

  It was actually really fun.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  Do you have Munchausen syndrome?

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Oh, do you care about winning? Are you committed to fake passing out though?

• 25:37H. Foley?

  Do your parents now know?

• 25:40Speaker 03

  Uh, so my mom.

• 25:41H. Foley?

  Did you ever have a heart attack, like, hey, by the way, just, you know, those four years in college?

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Mm-mm.

• 25:44H. Foley?

  I was fake passing out.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  College, high school.

• 25:46H. Foley?

  High school.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  My mom died, so I think she knows now.

• 25:50H. Foley?

  I'm very sorry.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Thank you. Thanks for bringing it up.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  This girl's a firecracker.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  The Dempsey Group. I just see it. Um.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  My, I did a bit on The Tonight Show. I think that's when my dad found out.

• 26:01H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 26:04H. Foley?

  That's a good way to find out. How long ago did your mom pass?

• 26:08Speaker 03

  11 years ago.

• 26:09H. Foley?

  11 years ago. From?

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Sorry to hear.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  Uh, lung cancer.

• 26:11H. Foley?

  Very sorry.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Tobacco.

• 26:13H. Foley?

  Very sorry.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  I'm just kidding. I don't think she really even smoked. But I think it was just kind of one of those Aaron Brockovich situations. She's close, what do you mean?

• 26:21H. Foley?

  Why do you say that?

• 26:22Speaker 03

  Come on! She was around it? Everybody in Owensboro gets lung cancer. Or brain cancer.

• 26:28H. Foley?

  The water, the chemicals are using them.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Come on!

• 26:30H. Foley?

  Is it mostly tobacco farms out there?

• 26:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. And a big steel plant.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  Yikes. Bad combo. Talk about you getting coming and going down there.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  Also, but isn't it sad, my most, like, drunk aunts, like, the most insane ones, they'll never die.

• 26:50H. Foley?

  Nothing.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  You know what I'm saying? I don't know, I had a couple in my family who were like, "This guy, oh, never mind, he didn't need it." And then he kicked it? He flew a little too close to the sun, yeah. He kicked it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:59H. Foley?

  Rick's gonna live forever.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Rest in peace, big dog.

• 27:02H. Foley?

  He was just fake passing out.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  And then the way that they die, though, is like, they're not dying from, like, illness. Sure. How, did you-

• 27:10H. Foley?

  Going like a jet ski accident.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  No, yeah, no, it was pretty bad. Yeah? Yeah, not that, it wasn't like, "Ah, parachute and got him or something." Yeah. It was, it was the lung cancer.

• 27:19H. Foley?

  Wasn't an accident?

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Oh, was it? And the cirrhosis. Mine are like, mine are like, "Oh, my tattoo started rotting my skin," and that's how they died. Or like, they fell down the steps. But that is, okay. But it's not, it's not-

• 27:33H. Foley?

  Septus.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  It's not God that took them.

• 27:35H. Foley?

  I, I understand what you're saying. It wasn't their poor lifestyle choices that led to their demise.

• 27:42Speaker 03

  You mean the tattoo that got them? I would argue that's-

• 27:44H. Foley?

  That could happen to anybody.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  It does not happen to anybody.

• 27:46H. Foley?

  I mean, it's not like they had kidney disease or anything like that.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Well, one of them, one of them got sick because she got her eyeliner tattooed, and then it started rotting her eyelid.

• 27:56H. Foley?

  And then died from it.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  That one didn't die from that, but it was a-

• 27:59H. Foley?

  That is the trashiest shit I've ever heard.

• 28:04H. Foley?

  I got bad ink in my eyeliner!

• 28:09Speaker 03

  I got eyeliner to define my eyes! Now I got no eyelid at all.

• 28:13H. Foley?

  The hell kind of ink you using, Earl? You got Uniball in there, god damn it!

• 28:19Speaker 02

  All right, hold on, let's, let's try to recenter this a little bit.

• 28:22H. Foley?

  But your family did well. They were, they were doing okay.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was adorable. Yeah. And then, and then I, I, uh, um, left for college and went to the University of South Carolina.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Hold on, let's put a pin.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  What?

• 28:35H. Foley?

  Can you get to, we're gonna get to the University of South Carolina. My cousin Aiden, freshman there right now, loves it.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  Gamecock?

• 28:42H. Foley?

  Just talked to him last night.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  Really? Why are you talking to your cousin?

• 28:45H. Foley?

  I'm close to him.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  He's a freshman?

• 28:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Thank you. Yeah, continue.

• 28:51H. Foley?

  What kind of high school nerd bullshit was that? I can't talk to a freshman?

• 28:54Speaker 02

  I never thought about it, but she's...

• 28:57H. Foley?

  I'm tight with my family.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  How, I have 61st cousins, so I guess that...

• 29:02H. Foley?

  I'm not a hillbilly. I have, I have six and I'm very close to them. They're all good kids.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Wow, good kids.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Wait, he's your cousin cousin?

• 29:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, Tracy's kid, Aiden.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  So your cousin's kid?

• 29:12H. Foley?

  Yes. So he's my cousin too.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  All right, relax. Hey, what's your chill?

• 29:16H. Foley?

  Well, she got me on the fence.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  What the fuck? I'm trying to find out.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Do you have cousin FaceTimes, like, scheduled?

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Every once in a while we'll do something like that if it's the holidays and we can't be together. We'll knock one of those out. Yeah.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  That's nice.

• 29:30H. Foley?

  It's a pretty normal relationship. He's a good kid.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  Okay. It's a big age gap.

• 29:36H. Foley?

  I'm not dating the guy.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  He said no.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Okay, Gamecock. Okay.

• 29:42H. Foley?

  Gamecock?

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  But hold on, let's pull back to the childhood a little bit more. What?

• 29:46H. Foley?

  It's good school though.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  It is so fun.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  His cousin goes there. Let's focus on the, the childhood a little bit more. The family dynamics. What was a traditional family vacation in the Blanford?

• 29:55H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Myrtle Beach, baby, Destin.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Shout out to it, yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Dirty Myrtle, or we go to Gulf Shores in Alabama, or Destin, Florida, if, if things were going real well.

• 30:05H. Foley?

  Gulf Shores.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  You ever been to Gulf Shores?

• 30:07H. Foley?

  No, I, I have a weird thing with the Gulf of, the Gulf of Mexico. I don't see how that's...

• 30:12Speaker 02

  Gulf of America.

• 30:13H. Foley?

  I don't see how that's an enjoyable beach situation. I know that, I know that I'm wrong.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  St. Pete's good.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  No, you don't wait. I thought that was the classy one.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  No, that's what I'm saying. It's good. I'm like, let's go to Gulf Shores. Yeah, yeah.

• 30:25H. Foley?

  So, this is an, I can't imagine going to the beach in Alabama. It's just, in my head, it's...

• 30:30Speaker 02

  It's beautiful, isn't it?

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Uh, it is. It's, you know what? We did go there a lot. That may have contributed to my mom's early death. The water is alarmingly warm and the beaches are white.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  And it's the water doesn't get that deep, right? It's like, isn't it like shallow for long parts of it?

• 30:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  You gotta walk out like a half a mile.

• 30:49H. Foley?

  That's what I don't like.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  We know what we love. We love a sandbar. So many sandbars are.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  There's nothing that. Or a good tide pool. Shout out to it.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Yes, all the little kids are going, "Oh, that is creatures."

• 31:01H. Foley?

  Aren't there a lot of stingrays in the Gulf? The little ones?

• 31:04Speaker 02

  I was told you gotta shuffle. You gotta shuffle.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Oh, that what it is? No, we just, we were just living with jellyfish. So many jellyfish. You know? That's it. I don't know about stingray.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  Look at Mobile, Alabama.

• 31:15H. Foley?

  It looks nice.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  It's nice. Jekyll Island, if you're doing really well, that's outside of, um, Savannah.

• 31:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm with it.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, it's good. So we did, we, Atlantic Ocean.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  For like, for like a week. You go for a week or a weekend?

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, for a week. Yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  My bad blood.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  But we're, by the way, we're all sleeping in, like, one, like, you know, like, my parents have a double bed and the kids have a double bed.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Port of like an econ unit type deal.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, we're typically doing that.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Respect it.

• 31:48H. Foley?

  And at Disney World.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  We did Disney World when we were young. That's too much.

• 31:52H. Foley?

  When did you get your passport?

• 31:54Speaker 03

  Um, my dad, my grandpa remarried a Calgary woman in Canada.

• 31:59H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 32:00Speaker 03

  And so when we were.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  Hold on, after the 19, or after the sister?

• 32:06Speaker 03

  This is my mom's dad. My mom died, my mom's mom died when she was 12.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  And so my Italian or something over there. So, uh, my grandpa remarried a Canadian woman and moved to Calgary.

• 32:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  And so we went up to Calgary, Calgary Stampede. Dude, I thought the Calgary Stampede was this nice little family friendly.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Was it a rodeo?

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Little get together, little picnic.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  What is it?

• 32:31Speaker 03

  That shit is horny.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  What is it?

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Calgary Stampede. Have you ever, have you heard about it?

• 32:36Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't even know what it is.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. Calgary, Alberta.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Is it a rodeo?

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, in Canada. Alberta, Edmonton, Calgary. It's, it's the Texas of Canada.

• 32:46H. Foley?

  Okay, that I do know.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  And, and the Calgary Stampede is a big festival.

• 32:50H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  In Calgary. And I thought it was this nice little family friendly. It's, it's the spring break of Canada.

• 32:59H. Foley?

  Wild.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  That looks like a good time.

• 33:01Speaker 03

  Lumberjacks.

• 33:02H. Foley?

  Where did you go there? As a family?

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, to go visit my grandpa.

• 33:04H. Foley?

  Okay. How old were you when you went up there?

• 33:06Speaker 03

  I think I was like, maybe 11 or 12. So that's when I got my passport.

• 33:11H. Foley?

  That's when you got your passport.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Not bad.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that was the only country I went to outside of the United States till I was in college. When I did an, uh, an internship for the London Olympics in 2012 and I was an intern for the cleaning company.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  The cleaning company?

• 33:31Speaker 03

  Wait, can I, can we skip ahead for two seconds?

• 33:34Speaker 02

  By all means.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Okay, so we, my major in South Carolina was called sport and entertainment management.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  That, hold on, that was, when that hit, that became the biggest dirtbag career choice.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Wait, is that a?

• 33:46Speaker 02

  All of my friends, I'm in sports marketing and management.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  Sales and ad revenue. You're like, shut up.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  This isn't that though.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  It was like, I love football.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, this isn't, this, that wasn't the cool shit. This was like the venue management. These were like, we were like feeder kids into like running the security.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  You were working for the cleaning company?

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  That's like such a job I would get too.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Big Aramark contracts and stuff like that.

• 34:10Speaker 03

  Bro, if I, dog, if I was.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  That's big money.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Did not get into comedy, I'd be running like the parking for like a giant arena right now. I know that's what I'd be doing. I, I did work, uh, I was a manager for the security for the Amway Center, the Orlando Magic's Arena.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  No one's safe at any of those events.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Not with you in charge.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Dude, I'm sitting there-

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Drinking on the job.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Watching the wanders. Those wanders are... You know, when you like, okay, so if you staff like a, like an Ariana Grande concert, right? At an arena. You go, "Who's my best guys?" You're putting them in the front of the stage or backstage. Then your second tier, you've got them on the floor-

• 34:53Speaker 02

  So only outside of the stadium is the worst guy.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Dude, those wands aren't even on. Those wands aren't even on. Those guys are, they worked two other shifts that day, somewhere else. They don't give a shit. They're getting paid nine dollars an hour. They're literally making the beep with their mouth. They don't give a fat fuck.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Fucking giving you goose in ya, checking your oil. Packing, huh, today?

• 35:17Speaker 03

  They're giving you knives.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  That makes sense.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  Alright, internship abroad?

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, wait, okay, let me tell you this really fast. So, I worked velodrome. Do you remember the velo? You know what that is? It's the tiny little bikes that go around in oval. It's fucking dope.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Velodrome it's called?

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Velodrome.

• 35:36H. Foley?

  Is that an event in the Olympics?

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was a whole venue.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, this thing, like the wall.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  It's like roller derby, but for nerds on bikes.

• 35:42H. Foley?

  Oh, those bikes?

• 35:42Speaker 03

  The British and the Australians- Hello! Just like trying to shove each other off each other.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  Wait, what did you do for this?

• 35:48Speaker 03

  It was like, it was like roller derby for tiny twinks.

• 35:52H. Foley?

  I never understood that. How is that an Olympic sport?

• 35:56Speaker 03

  It's so dope. I love it.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Wait, but what were you doing?

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Okay, sorry. So I worked- I worked velodrome and BMX, so that was what my pass was for, right?

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Like, you were, what, cleaning the events?

• 36:07Speaker 03

  I was staffing the cleaners, which is hilarious because, like-

• 36:12H. Foley?

  You were on-site, though?

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Dude, okay, so they, uh, yeah, so they, well, the cleaning company had, they built out a camp down in this back alley. Alright, let me get back for a second, for a second. For a city to win, I'll go back to my childhood, but I think this is so entertaining. Because we kind of studied the IOC, my major. For a city to win- What's the IOC? International Olympic Committee. Come on, man. I had no idea.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  That's crazy, you think I was just gonna pull-

• 36:39Speaker 03

  You're not the IOC!

• 36:41Speaker 02

  That's wild.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  You talk about, you know about the Dempsey Group.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  First of all-

• 36:45Speaker 03

  IOC conspiracies.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  I gotta pull you back, I don't even remember the Olympics being in London. I have to go, I gotta, I gotta call bullshit on myself here.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  What?

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Zero remembrance of that at all.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  2012?

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Gabby Douglas, won medals at the O2. Michael Phelps broke medal records.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  I thought that was in China.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  Usain Bolt, the song, watch Usain Bolt? No, that was after.

• 37:08H. Foley?

  Did you see Usain Bolt run?

• 37:09Speaker 03

  Dude, yeah.

• 37:10H. Foley?

  How'd you catch him? He fainted.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  I go, let me tell, wait, let me tell you how I saw him, though. This is, this is, I got a little scrappy. Okay, so, but for an IOC to win the bid for the Olympics to come, they have to promise that they were, put the Olympics, like the village and everything, in a part of the city that's rundown to bring up the economy, right? So, so the Olympics were in Stratford, which is not the best area. A big dolgy. Yes.

• 37:38H. Foley?

  A what?

• 37:40Speaker 03

  The Olympic, our, our cleaning company, Australian Cleaning Company, built a- Wait, is that the name?

• 37:45Speaker 02

  Australian, what the fucking going on here, Dixie?

• 37:48Speaker 03

  It's called Clean Event.

• 37:49H. Foley?

  Clean Event?

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, Clean Event.

• 37:51H. Foley?

  Oh, I thought you said Clean of it.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  They built a camp, right? And on the back of an alley called Candy Cane Lane, and the front of it was a brothel.

• 37:58H. Foley?

  What? What are you talking about?

• 38:00Speaker 03

  There was a fucking alley called Candy Cane Lane and they built a camp for us all to live-

• 38:04H. Foley?

  Look, are you tracking any of this on Google Earth?

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Hold on, Google, Google Daily Mail Clean Event, London Olympics. Cause they reported us because of how unsanitary these living conditions were. You know, you know like a, a construction company, like the trailers, they-

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  They would, they put 10 of us into one of those.

• 38:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  And they recruited all these people from Hungary and Spain and everywhere to come and be the workers.

• 38:30H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  And so, we would be living with like people from Hungary that didn't speak English.

• 38:34H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  Hungarian men are-

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Mean.

• 38:39H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  We would like...

• 38:41Speaker 02

  Really?

• 38:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Most Eastern Europeans are known for their warmth and welcoming of odd blonde women.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  We would be like, "I just need to take a shower before work," and they'd be like, "Fucking in the shower." And we'd be like, "How much..."

• 38:52Speaker 02

  The Hungarian guys?

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  With who? With who?

• 38:55Speaker 03

  I don't know, Hungarian woman?

• 38:57Speaker 02

  No kidding?

• 38:58Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Or any, maybe a woman from the brothel up the street.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  There's nothing wrong with that!

• 39:05Speaker 03

  Oh, they would grunt at us. Like, if we were just like, "How much longer?" And they'd, "Ugh." And that'd be it.

• 39:11H. Foley?

  You had to share showers with the workers?

• 39:13Speaker 03

  Yeah. You said it.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  That makes sense. The headline is, "10 to a room and one shower for 75 people inside the slum camp for Olympic cleaners."

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, dog.

• 39:22H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here!

• 39:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:24H. Foley?

  What's something about Trade Coffee?

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Ooh, shout out to Trade Coffee, gang!

• 39:27H. Foley?

  The best in the business.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:30H. Foley?

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• 39:33Speaker 02

  Ooh, baby!

• 39:35H. Foley?

  They got blends specifically for cold brew.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  I know.

• 39:38H. Foley?

  You put it in the fridge, 24 hours, you got delicious cold brew.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Right at the r-

• 39:43H. Foley?

  It's sitting in my fridge right now!

• 39:44Speaker 02

  And you're not paying that overpriced, "That was made by some food..." You did it. You're a hard-working guy. You make the coffee. You enjoy the coffee.

• 39:53H. Foley?

  Cold brew at home with Trade, unbelievable.

• 39:56Speaker 02

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• 40:39Speaker 02

  You get 50% off one month at drinktrade.com/garbage. Do it! Now, back to the show.

• 40:44H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 40:46Speaker 05

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• 41:07Speaker 05

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• 41:15Speaker 02

  So I wouldn't really call that studying abroad. If I had, I mean like, there's people who study abroad in the south of France. You were an indentured servant for the Olympics with Hungarian guys. That's way different.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  This is how I live my life. You get in, you have all these fun experiences, but I'm like, I never got in lavishly. It was always like these little backdoors.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  I'm very similar to that.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:40H. Foley?

  But you got to see Usain Bolt.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, so, so my past was...

• 41:44Speaker 02

  He was having sex in a shower.

• 41:46H. Foley?

  Hey, man, don't you got a race in 10 minutes? I'll be fine, man.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  I had to have sex with a cleaner.

• 41:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 41:52H. Foley?

  Isn't he?

• 41:53Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 41:53H. Foley?

  Hope so.

• 41:56H. Foley?

  He ain't Jewish. Hey, don't.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  He ain't from Kentucky. All right, what?

• 42:03Speaker 03

  I was trying to remember, you know how you say bacon in Jamaican? You say beer can. Beer can. All right, so...

• 42:11Speaker 02

  I don't think any of that's right.

• 42:13H. Foley?

  Get back to candy game, man.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  Okay, so I wanted to go to the opening ceremonies, right? But I didn't have a pass into the main stadium, where the track and all that shit was. So my supervisor is like, "The only way you can get in is if you're working." So I put on a cleaning uniform and a dust in a broom. Dog, I'm so good at faking this shit now.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  Started talking Hungarian?

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, he started hollering and gibberish, Sims, and started sweeping, because Elton John was playing, the Spice Girls were supposed to come out, the Queen was gonna be there. But then I got too obsessed with cleaning. And started like, really getting into it, uh, and like, didn't even end up watching the ceremony.

• 42:56H. Foley?

  What were you cleaning during the opening ceremony?

• 42:57Speaker 03

  I had a broom, I had a broom and a pan.

• 42:59H. Foley?

  They had people sweeping while that's going on?

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Cigarettes, yeah dude, it's a whole stadium. It's now the West Ham's, uh, soccer stadium. Uh, they saw me cleaning and they were like, somebody pulled me and they're like, we need somebody in our VIP area.

• 43:13H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  I get pulled in the VIP area. I was with this, uh, other British girl who did the same thing as me. And I got, kinda got jumbled up in this crowd and like bumped into this man in a...

• 43:25H. Foley?

  He has a torch in her hand?

• 43:27Speaker 03

  He was in a wheelchair.

• 43:29H. Foley?

  Who?

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Well, and then I walked past them and she goes, "Do you know who you just bumped into?" And I was like, "No." She's like, "That was Stephen Hawking." And she was like, "He was standing next to Cyndi Lauper."

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Sitting.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  And I...

• 43:43Speaker 03

  He was rolling next to Cyndi. And, uh, we was at the opening ceremony, what'd you say?

• 43:48Speaker 02

  He was at the big air event.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  What event is he in? Like he was competing?

• 43:54Speaker 03

  Lautron, BMX.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Um, he was doing the halfpipe.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  And I didn't even know he was.

• 44:02H. Foley?

  TV!

• 44:03Speaker 03

  I didn't even know who he was, she had to tell me who he was, I didn't even...

• 44:05H. Foley?

  What does this got to do with you meeting Usain Bolt?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Oh, well then I kept sneaking in as a, as a sweeper and a brimmer to all the events.

• 44:12H. Foley?

  So you got to watch him run that?

• 44:13Speaker 03

  I got to watch Michael Phelps. I got to watch Gabby Douglas, but I had to put on a cleaning uniform and like, every now and then I'd have to sweep a few times. So I didn't look like our employees were getting lazy.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that's what I did all the Olympics.

• 44:26H. Foley?

  Pretty good.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  It was so fun.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  Not bad.

• 44:28H. Foley?

  A very dirtbag...

• 44:29Speaker 02

  That's a dirtbag way in.

• 44:30H. Foley?

  Guide to get into the Olympics.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  I respect that.

• 44:32H. Foley?

  I'll give you that.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  I learned though, you can get in anywhere if you're cleaning. You don't need credentials.

• 44:39H. Foley?

  Trust me, if you're running security.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Guys, Juan's not even on. How's he gonna get-

• 44:44H. Foley?

  Orlando Magic, no one's safe!

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Uh, what was your first job? Your first actual job?

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Black Friday, Old Navy, nine hour shift, on the fleece wall for nine hours. My hands were bleeding by the end of it because it soaks it out, all of the moisture out of your hands, to the point where they're cracking and bleeding.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  What the fleece does?

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:06H. Foley?

  It's all that polyurethane they use.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:08H. Foley?

  That is so trashy and so specific. So they brought you in for Black Friday, okay? Christmas vaca- or, no, not Christmas vacation. Thanksgiving weekend.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:21H. Foley?

  It was at the height of the fleece, Old Navy craze?

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 45:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, that was heavy.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:27H. Foley?

  Fleece really hit.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Fleece in the wintertime, flip flops in the summertime, that's what the people came in there for. Let me tell you, I went back for the next day for a nine hour shift and they're like, "We can't believe you came back." Can I tell you the darkest part of that, that job?

• 45:41Speaker 03

  Old Navy, any of these like, those kind of stores, once you get on the register, that you have an earpiece, and your managers are back there lurking and watching you, and they want you to offer a credit card to everybody that comes-

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Sucks.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  They say it's predatory.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  All they want you to do is get them to try and even open. They don't care if they get approved, they just want you to open it.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  You have to ask every single person. You wanna put that on a Macy's card today?

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  I'll ruin your credit for eight years, you wanna try it?

• 46:09Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Hey, they got me, they wanna get you too?

• 46:13Speaker 03

  And, and the people that always go for it are the people that you're looking at them-

• 46:17Speaker 02

  It shouldn't, yeah. People used to get approved for me at Macy's and I go, "Yeah, just give me your social security number." First of all, you're giving me your social security number out of cash register at Macy's. I'm wearing my dad's suit, it's crazy.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  These people are paying in cents.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? They're pulling out pennies to finish paying.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  To cover the dollar, yeah.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, and they're trying to open up a credit card.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  And they would go, the one, I remember the one guy go, "It ain't gonna work." I go, "Buddy, they're gonna give it to you." You're gonna, I guarantee it, you're gonna shit yourself when you see the line of credit. I got, I got, I remember going, "I gotta prove for 800 bucks."

• 46:49H. Foley?

  But it's only in there, you can only use it in there, right?

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought I could use it everywhere, and I couldn't. I just cleaned it off my, I just got it off my-

• 46:57Speaker 03

  What?

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it lasted forever.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  This podcast is doing well!

• 47:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, we do, alright. I'm bad with money and my credit's even worse.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  I get it, I get it, me too.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  But, they would approve you even for like 200 bucks. Like somebody would be like $400 worth of stuff. And like that was his net worth and I'd be like, you got approved for 100. He goes, put that on there. Cause then that guy goes, I got an extra 100 bucks I can walk around.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Yes, and you're just like, get out of here dude.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  It is what it is.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they're like, there's like a child behind them.

• 47:24H. Foley?

  Open him up too.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  I know, that's what I'm saying.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  His little fucker got a social security number on him?

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:28H. Foley?

  You got a bank account, big man?

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 47:30H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  All they did was check your social security number.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  That was it, I know that was it.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  I would type it into the computer and it would just say yes.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Most, I mean, most people were denied and that was insane though. Because then you had to be like, the worst is when you told them that they were denied because you just had to go like this.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Okay, well you were not approved. Would you like to check out with credit or cash or something? And you couldn't, you, you just had to say it in the same, like,

• 47:58H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  Voice that you would at they were approved or anything.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  You'd just get embarrassed in front of a high school kid.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  It's, it's insane, you're just like, this is dark.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's tough.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  If you do pay with a credit card, we're gonna need to see some identification. Cause you apparently are a dirtball, cause you didn't get approved for an old Navy credit card.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. Uh, that was a dark, um.

• 48:19H. Foley?

  That's a dark time in your life?

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've had dark jobs, but that, it felt dirty.

• 48:24H. Foley?

  That was your first one?

• 48:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, and besides like nannying and babysitting.

• 48:28H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  That's a good first one.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:31H. Foley?

  What was the grocery store you guys went to growing up?

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Kroger.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Respectable.

• 48:35H. Foley?

  Can't fight that.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  It's good dude.

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Shout out to Kroger.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 48:37H. Foley?

  If you guys would have, would you guys ever go out to eat as a family?

• 48:41Speaker 03

  Benihana's.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  Benihana?

• 48:45Speaker 03

  If we were rocking and rolling.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  What year is this?

• 48:48H. Foley?

  71.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  The height of Benihana.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Yeah dude. When they, when, there was like, no.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  I'm shocked there was a Benihana. I always, I always thought there was like one in Vegas, LA and New York.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  I think that town, I, your town's a lot of new money, right? A lot of new tobacco money and stuff like that, especially in the 90's?

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is what Benihana.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  You're the fucking farmer's almanac.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Sixteenth largest city in the country. Um, now Benihana has.

• 49:14H. Foley?

  Louisville.

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude. Louisville. Metro, metro, metro. Um, yeah, this is when Benihana was like.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  How many, how many locations are there?

• 49:23Speaker 04

  I'm seeing fourteen right here.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 49:24H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Good for them. Okay.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  Wow, Louisville's got one.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  How many dollar signs is Benihana on a, whoa, whoa, give me, give me a point, average price?

• 49:33H. Foley?

  Two, I would say.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  That seems, Benihana to me was always what, like, stockbrokers did. I didn't know nothing about it.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  What?

• 49:39Speaker 02

  But it's hibachi, right?

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, bro. That's what stockbrokers did? This is like, this is when they would throw a shrimp in your grandma's face.

• 49:48H. Foley?

  Stockbrokers like that.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  When that happened, that was big.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  And remember the, um, onion choo-choo train?

• 49:53Speaker 02

  He's never been.

• 49:54H. Foley?

  Never been. I've seen the little volcano. I get it.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  This is why things aren't going well for you. You haven't experienced this joy.

• 50:01H. Foley?

  I'm too fat to have somebody throwing shrimp at me.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  You don't have to accept it. You know, you know what the worst is? When they always have a little bit of spare protein that they, after they've divvied up everybody's protein.

• 50:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, when does everybody eat?

• 50:16Speaker 03

  And they automatically look at one person and they're like, you want the extra?

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:20H. Foley?

  Yeah, I do.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, fucking.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  I typically would get, I would, they'd hit me with it.

• 50:25H. Foley?

  When do you eat? Like, how long is that little show?

• 50:28Speaker 02

  Enough with the theatrics, pal. I'm starving.

• 50:31H. Foley?

  And is it just fried rice? Is that all they make?

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Fried rice, some vegetable, yeah, for the most part.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  It's so fun.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Couple veggies. You get your shrimp, you get your, you can order.

• 50:39H. Foley?

  So you don't like order?

• 50:40Speaker 02

  No, you go like, ah, I think you go like, I'll do chicken, I'll do shrimp. Yeah, yeah, whatever you want.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  It's, it's like the perfect, it's, it's everything.

• 50:46H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 50:47Speaker 02

  And he goes, ah, what do you want? Shrimp?

• 50:48H. Foley?

  You can't like get salmon or do an entree?

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Mm, you can, you can.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  You can't put chicken fingers on a griddle there.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. You can do a side order, but they don't make a show about it. And then, you know.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're not stoked.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're the party pooper. By the way, when I, we went to, also, it was like, there was no white chefs. You know what I mean? Now Benihana is, now it's like, it's like Hooters that has like mail servers. You're like.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Not why I come here.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, like.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  That's not why I come here, Randy. I came here for some titty.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't want Tim giving me the onion choo-choo train.

• 51:23H. Foley?

  I want authentic.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  All right. Three money signs on Benihana.

• 51:27H. Foley?

  Whoa!

• 51:29Speaker 03

  So I said it was, it was a big celebration.

• 51:31H. Foley?

  All right.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  We went.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  Did you have a favorite frozen pizza growing up?

• 51:36Speaker 03

  I, we had, uh, White Castles. There was White, frozen White Castles.

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  That we would.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  You would do that.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  But, we would heat those up. There was two little sliders in a, like a Hot Pocket.

• 51:49H. Foley?

  I know.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  And we, you know about those?

• 51:51H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  And we had a lot of the... I didn't, we, we did pizza. We did that.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  She's giving you the fucking business, dude.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm sta-, I'm, I'm one-upping you. White Castle sliders. And, uh, and then we did, um, TGI Friday's, um, artichoke dip. Oh, that was our shit.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  Like at home, like the pre-made?

• 52:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  I gotta be, the Fridays really figured out how to get it, the home, the fucking, those mozzarella sticks. Tamed with the ma-, the Good Marin aerosauce in the plastic bag.

• 52:23H. Foley?

  That might be the first TGI Friday's frozen food line that we got an answer for. It's pretty good.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  Oh, that, I was my, that was my obsession, that artichoke dip.

• 52:31H. Foley?

  What were you dipping in it? Tortillas? Chips?

• 52:33Speaker 03

  See, and my parents were, they were gone all the time. So like, we were doing like, child creations. So you know, it was like, you'd just take tortilla chips and dump them on a plate and then take a whole bag of shredded cheese and put that in the microwave.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  That's the best.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  And then.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  I figured it out.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  Uh, Vienna sausages. Did you do Vienna, little Vienna sausages?

• 52:53Speaker 02

  But I get it.

• 52:54H. Foley?

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Cut those up, ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. Put those in SpaghettiOs.

• 52:57H. Foley?

  Ooh, they were so mushy.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  You say Italian dinner?

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. So good. Love that stuff. Dude, we would have that. That would be our breakfast. And then every morning, cause our parents were gone, here was our, we'd wake up, we'd watch Blue's Clues for my little brother. And then Maury Povich.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  You are not the father.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  And then Price is Right. And so we got, you know, we got our colors.

• 53:20H. Foley?

  SpaghettiOs and Vienna sausage?

• 53:22Speaker 03

  For breakfast.

• 53:23H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  We got our colors and our shapes.

• 53:24H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  We got our, our.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  Paternity test?

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Our paternity tests. And then our economics lesson.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  That's pretty good. I gotta be honest with you, that is a well-rounded dirtbag morning.

• 53:34H. Foley?

  And then off to play in the sod fields.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  And then we go.

• 53:36Speaker 02

  Off to ruin some former's day.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  Dude, it was perfect childhood.

• 53:39H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 53:40H. Foley?

  How, did you do well in high school? I mean, University of South Carolina is a good school.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  His cousin goes there.

• 53:46H. Foley?

  No?

• 53:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 53:47Speaker 03

  It's not.

• 53:48H. Foley?

  Really?

• 53:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 53:50H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:51Speaker 03

  Have you heard about it?

• 53:53H. Foley?

  It was a good school.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  Uh, okay, I think there are.

• 53:55H. Foley?

  Expensive.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Out of state.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. What I, what I got, I weaseled my way into, in state. That's why I went. I couldn't afford out of state.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  How, what?

• 54:05Speaker 03

  It's called academic common market. You go and pick a major that's not offered in your state.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  And then you get it at their state.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:13H. Foley?

  Is that how you got in sports?

• 54:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's the only reason I did it. It was, I was in state.

• 54:19H. Foley?

  Strength management?

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Drunken sports.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Uh huh, okay.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  It's a better school now.

• 54:27H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  Shout out to your cousin.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Really bringing it up. I forgot to Foley bump on that one.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  I know. I bet he's, is he in the business school?

• 54:34H. Foley?

  I believe he's pre-med. I could be wrong.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  He's gonna be a pharmacist.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Where's he growing up? In Philly?

• 54:41H. Foley?

  Yeah, outside of Philly, in the suburbs.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  Dude, there were so many, uh, like Maryland Philly kids that came out of South Carolina.

• 54:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, a lot.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  And they stood out.

• 54:51H. Foley?

  In a good way or a bad way?

• 54:53Speaker 03

  They just stood out. Dude, South Carolina...

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Always tell it the hibachi restaurant.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. They were like...

• 54:59H. Foley?

  The rest of you are probably walking around in overalls. Of course they stood out. They had shoes on.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Got your eyes tattooed and shit.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  Well, we didn't, they were the only kids in skinny jeans.

• 55:07H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  You know what I'm...

• 55:08H. Foley?

  They bring a little fashion down there.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were only, they were the only boys wearing graphic tees.

• 55:13H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Graphic tees hit. I got, I got swirled up in that phenomenon.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  That is...

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Shout out to Express.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  Dude, that was it, man.

• 55:22H. Foley?

  High-tech tees?

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Dude, I gotta had an Express card, $200 limit on that bad boy. I'd go get fucking glossed up.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  You wore Express?

• 55:30Speaker 02

  I was in college and you're trying to be cool.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  I bet you wore the one with like blue and darker blue stripes.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had them all. I had like the cool cross and like a street sign.

• 55:39H. Foley?

  What were you kicking it in?

• 55:41Speaker 03

  Alright, here's the dealio. I thought South, I thought Kentucky was southern and then I went to South Carolina. That's, that's why I go, I'm not that classy. Cause you go down there and you, that's...

• 55:52H. Foley?

  Classy debutante ladies.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  That's old money debutante shit.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  And they...

• 55:58Speaker 02

  That ain't you.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  Sod farm people.

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. We were wearing, I would walk out of the, outside with sweatpants on. These girls are not walking outside without a sundress.

• 56:09Speaker 02

  Of a southern belle.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Yes, they wear sundresses, then the boys always wear collared shirt and khakis. And that's why the Yankees would stand out.

• 56:18H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  Because they weren't wearing baggy khakis.

• 56:21H. Foley?

  I would do that. I would get into the, I'd do the khakis and the nice button down shirt.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  You can do that.

• 56:27H. Foley?

  I know, but I'm.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  It fits for you.

• 56:30H. Foley?

  Yeah, nice lady in a sund- nice, nice, hot chick in a sundress.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, man.

• 56:34H. Foley?

  Her parents probably do well, go over there for dinner.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:37H. Foley?

  They'd ask me, they'd, I mean, "What sort of Christian are you, Henry?"

• 56:40Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:41H. Foley?

  "Ma'am, I'm a Catholic."

• 56:42Speaker 03

  (laughing).

• 56:43H. Foley?

  "But only the bad part." "You'd get a big laugh." "And then I would take the bar exam down there and I would become a lawyer."

• 56:49Speaker 02

  Why, dude?

• 56:50Speaker 03

  You'd be set.

• 56:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. You, you know, you say you go Catholic, but in the business sense. And they'd go, "Yes."

• 56:59H. Foley?

  But don't hold that against me, sir.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  We all have our show comments.

• 57:02H. Foley?

  Another mint julep, Henry? Uh, yes, sir.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  You're a fan in yourself.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  I do declare.

• 57:08Speaker 02

  Uh...

• 57:09H. Foley?

  Is this meatloaf? It's chicken. Well, don't tell my mama. No, I'm too far.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  You're jumping the shark on it.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Uh, will you sneak snacks into a movie theater?

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Fuck, yeah, I would sneak meals.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Probably in her shoes.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  (laughing).

• 57:22H. Foley?

  Kids are loose, their big sandwiches.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Airplane bottles in the, in the boots. Yeah, yeah, we just, uh, yeah, we would sneak, you know what was fun?

• 57:31H. Foley?

  Do you have a knife on ya?

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Suit, not right now. No.

• 57:35H. Foley?

  I can see that.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  A knife?

• 57:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, like a switchblade in your boot or something.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Um, I used to ca- I kept getting my mace taken away. Um...

• 57:45H. Foley?

  Professionals will tend to do that.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. I usually end up like, you know, when you like, switch out a purse or something? I find a knife, I didn't know it was in there.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 57:55H. Foley?

  Crazy, I love it. Okay, so you go to, you go to University of South Carolina, you graduate?

• 58:02Speaker 03

  Yes, I did graduate.

• 58:04H. Foley?

  How many years?

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Uh, four years.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  That's good, go.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, four and a half.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  There we go. Really get in the real field.

• 58:10H. Foley?

  Any real run-ins with the law in, uh, high school or anything like that? Except for the, you know, maybe underage drinking or something like that?

• 58:17Speaker 03

  N- not really that bad. I mean, we, uh, yeah, it was just all underage drinking. We kind of, I mean, we were bad, you know, we were just drinking, but we didn't do like hardcore drugs or anything until like the later years of college.

• 58:34H. Foley?

  Any, excellent. Any, um, injuries as a kid? Broken arms, broken ribs?

• 58:40Speaker 03

  I tried my hardest.

• 58:41H. Foley?

  I know, you did.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  But not really.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  Other than the fake...

• 58:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, not, not, no.

• 58:45H. Foley?

  Fake neurological disease that you had that everybody thinking you had?

• 58:48Speaker 03

  No, I, I, yeah, it was all fake, so, just for show.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  What's the car now? What kind of car?

• 58:56H. Foley?

  Oh, what was the family car? We didn't ask.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. We got your first car, right?

• 58:59Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 59:00H. Foley?

  Yes, it's crazy.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  Sienna.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  It's quality car.

• 59:04H. Foley?

  Yeah, quality car.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Power doors.

• 59:06H. Foley?

  And what did you get as your first car at 16?

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Mazda Protege, champagne.

• 59:11H. Foley?

  New?

• 59:11Speaker 02

  What year?

• 59:13Speaker 03

  I think it was a... Maybe 2000...

• 59:19H. Foley?

  That's new money trash. But that is kind of something that they do in the South with daughters. They get a car.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did get a car when I turned 16. I was blessed.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  I feel like, you know, it might be a little sexist, but... That's it? That's it?

• 59:36Speaker 03

  No, it's not good. It's not...

• 59:37Speaker 02

  That looks like a Ford Taurus.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not cute.

• 59:40H. Foley?

  I thought it'd be a little more Eclipse-y.

• 59:42Speaker 03

  No, no, no. This is the one that people don't know about. They don't know about the Protege.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  That looks like a Ford Escort.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, people try to forget about the Protege.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Looks like it needs a new mentor, huh?

• 59:52H. Foley?

  Kenny Banya.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  We... This was a car that...

• 59:56Speaker 02

  That's a 98, though. These are 98s. Let me give... What'd you say? A 20... What?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  I can't remember. I think it was...

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  2001?

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  When did you turn 16?

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  2001's not much better.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  It's not, man.

• 1:00:07H. Foley?

  When did you turn 16?

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  Uh... Okay, wait. I was 17 when I graduated high school in 2009.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  That's young.

• 1:00:14H. Foley?

  Graduated at 17?

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was August 19th, 1991. So I was the youngest, you know, there's that August thing. So you were either the oldest or the youngest.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  I'm older, yeah, I went older.

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was the youngest.

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  So you just turned 18 when you went to college?

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  You're a squirrely one, you know that?

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  You're all over the fucking map.

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  You're in London with the Hungarians, you're, you know, hanging out, sipping...

• 1:00:37H. Foley?

  Driving Mazda Proteges?

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  But you whip a Mazda Protege everywhere. Dude, a champagne-colored car...

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  I had one. I had a Mercury Montego. Shout out to the Tigo.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  It is so... Wait, you fall in love with it.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  I did.

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  There's something about a champagne-colored car. It's motherly.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it's old. It's an old person. It's a, it's not a flash. Champagne says something about you. You're not flashy. You're not trying to be cool. You're not trying to impress people.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  I got news for the both of you. That ain't champagne. I don't know what kind of champagne you're drinking. You drove tan cars.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  That's champagne.

• 1:01:09H. Foley?

  With a bad paint job.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  No, it's, check the registration.

• 1:01:12H. Foley?

  That's something M A B came up with to sell paint.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's champagne. Champagne protege, okay? This is, it sparkles a little bit in the morning dew.

• 1:01:22H. Foley?

  Everybody's got that in there. I got, a blue car had the little sparkles in it.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  No, not like this. Blue. Blue is like, man, dad just got fired, but he's trying his best.

• 1:01:33H. Foley?

  Navy blue, a navy blue car?

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. I'm thinking royal blue. My dad had a, drove a blue, like a royal blue Taurus for a little bit.

• 1:01:40H. Foley?

  Maybe I'm thinking royal blue.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  Dude, royal blue is, unless it's like a sports car, like if a Taurus is royal blue, it's...

• 1:01:48H. Foley?

  Sports car.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  It's like, no.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  Like a drag racer?

• 1:01:53H. Foley?

  You know, something badass.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  My mom's Taurus sucks.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  A Mazda 3. Which is kinda sporty, right?

• 1:01:59H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, very much, so. I mean, listen.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  Gro- hmm.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  What? We're trying to decide?

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  I'm trying, I'm, you know, it's pretty written in the hand.

• 1:02:15H. Foley?

  I mean, if we had like a garbage institution, I think we'd be considering...

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  You'd be in a straitjacket.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  Yeah. Do we admit you?

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  No! It's like, it's like middle-class trash. Nah, maybe not.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, but with a southern twang to it.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, money's got nothing to do with it.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 1:02:35H. Foley?

  You're pa- you're doing fake passouts in high school?

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  I haven't talked about running across the porta-potties in the infield of the derby. We did derby. We did derby.

• 1:02:44H. Foley?

  Kentucky Derby.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Did you make it? How many porta-potties did you make it? This is a first. I've never known anybody that's done it.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  Okay, so here's the key, right? So I... I brought my-

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  If you're not familiar for the listener out there, if you're not a huge dirtbag, the running of the porta potties is the row of porta potties at the Kentucky Derby. I believe though, they also do it at the Preakness. Where at a certain point of the day, you get up and try to run across the-

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  The top of them, now they're domed!

• 1:03:09H. Foley?

  I thought these were classy events with big hats and mint juleps.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like the same as like you can go to a classy, you can go to a birds game classy if you're sitting in the fucking owner's box.

• 1:03:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  But, you can also do it how we do it, with orders of chicken fingers.

• 1:03:21H. Foley?

  Hey, one!

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  The infield is like, dude, it's like you-

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  It's trashy.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, you x-rayed Kid Rock's heart. It looks like, that's what the infield of it looks like.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  And the people are, you don't even, dude, I remember the first time my parents were like, "You can't go by yourself until you're a sophomore in high school." And we finally get in there-

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  That's still not old enough. I mean, it's like, it's like mostly college kids. Like my friends in college-

• 1:03:46H. Foley?

  You ain't going out there till you're 10!

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  Honey, you ain't ready for this. We go out there and I see a bunch of guys-

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  You were a young sophomore at that.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  And flip phones, yeah. And I'm like, "Why are all their flip phones in there?" And it's always derby, it's the first Saturday in May, so it's springtime. It's Kentucky, it's a valley, so it's always raining.

• 1:04:00H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  So it's all, it's just mud. It's straight mud out there. And I'm like, "Why are all these dudes with suits with flip phones gathering in a circle?" And I'm like a new freshman, like a little tadpole or sophomore. I'm like peeking my way, like, "What are they watching, Papa?" And like-

• 1:04:17H. Foley?

  They're running across to shit him!

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. Dude, this wasn't even that. This was the pre-game to that. It's a huge mud pit and there are women in cute sundresses diving into this mud pit-

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  For hundred dollar bills.

• 1:04:32H. Foley?

  At the Kentucky Derby?

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, sunny.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  That's like, that's 99% of the Derby is that.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, yeah, it's such a trashy event. And then, okay, so then later in the day, everybody gets jealous of the horses racing. So then we have our own races. And, so you try and run across the top. So it's like a string of porta potties, right? And they're domed shape, so it's really hard to get across. Cause, and also, remember, it's raining, it's slippery, but not, you think that those are all the elements that make it hard. The hardest part is when you start running across them, there's all these drunk people in the field, and then you-

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  It's a barrage.

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  You turn into like a human carnival game-

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  And they're chucking beer bottles at your head-

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're trying to hit you.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  To try and knock you off.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  Pretty good game if you're on the other side of it.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  For points.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  How far did you make it?

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  I, okay, so I made it all the way.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, fuck yeah.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  Good for you.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  Uh, I forgot to tell my roommate from college that came with me this one year, that it is illegal.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  So she made it all the way. Here's the thing, this is, it's not done once you get to the end. You have to then get down and escape into the crowd so you don't get arrested.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  Cause there are cops waiting for you. I forgot to tell her that. So she made it all the way as well, then she stood up there and celebrated.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Got arrested.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  And then when she got off, yeah, she got arrested.

• 1:05:51H. Foley?

  How'd you get her out?

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  Uh, well-

• 1:05:54H. Foley?

  I'm back to school.

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  Well, it's, it's derby. It's not, it's not real jail, it's derby jail.

• 1:06:00H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  You dumb motherfucker.

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's drunk tank.

• 1:06:04H. Foley?

  Okay, so they let her out?

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I also said that she was a new mom and this was her first night out.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  She's pregnant. Let her go. She's gonna lose that baby.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  She's all fucked up running on porta potty. You be careful with her, she's with child.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  That is a championship baby. She's trying to show her baby how to be a winner.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  Uh, I mean, you know, uh-

• 1:06:27H. Foley?

  Blanford.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  Wait, can I tell you my last one?

• 1:06:30H. Foley?

  Please.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  I just remembered this.

• 1:06:32H. Foley?

  Is this gonna turn it around?

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  Well, I just needed to tell you what, cause you're like, my parents were medical people.

• 1:06:38H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  But there is a, there is like a country, like, you know, I said, like, my dad is old school pharmacist. My mom was old school nurse.

• 1:06:46H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  So I remember, when I was in col- I was in South Carolina, this was like, I stayed a summer in Columbia.

• 1:06:51H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  Did an internship.

• 1:06:53H. Foley?

  Where was that at?

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  Cartel, cleaning.

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  Columbia, South Carolina!

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:06:58H. Foley?

  Where was the, where was the- Where's the internship?

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  I, I was working at the arena, Colonial Life Arena.

• 1:07:03H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  Um, probably been out-

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  Security?

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  Swimming in a, I was, I didn't, I was, I was in charge of popcorn. I think I was in-

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  I gotta lick it for it to taste real good for them. Um, I think I'd been out swimming in the river a little bit and didn't take my bathing suit off soon enough and been walking around in a wet bathing suit.

• 1:07:28H. Foley?

  God, where's this going?

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Are you ready for this?

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Infection for sure. Staff infection. I got a jellyfish in me.

• 1:07:37H. Foley?

  I'm pregnant with a jellyfish.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  Swam out my pee hole.

• 1:07:39Speaker 03

  Let me tell you, I was melting. So I called my mom and I was like, "Mom, my vagina's melting, melting." She was trying to figure out if it was a yeast infection or a UTI. And one of them is, one of them is itchy and one of them's not. I honestly don't even know now. And so she goes, "Do you want to take..." No, my mom was real country. So she was like, "You want to take a round brush up there? You know, like the hair brushes that are round with all the bristles that go on..."

• 1:08:04H. Foley?

  Put it up there?

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I was like, "Yeah, that sounds very comforting and soothing. Can I do that?"

• 1:08:09H. Foley?

  Oh, like, do you, would that, okay, I got you.

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  soothe the itch.

• 1:08:12H. Foley?

  Not go and do this. Yeah, do you have the impulse to do that?

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:16H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  I mean, that's a dangerous suggestion. You get itchy enough.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  I thought that was her suggestion, okay.

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  So...

• 1:08:23H. Foley?

  Real old school nurse.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  That's what I said. Goddamn hillbilly.

• 1:08:26H. Foley?

  You want to go find some deer antlers?

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, she goes, that's how she keeps me from getting pregnant. Just use a round brush, honey.

• 1:08:33H. Foley?

  I got you.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  It does the trick.

• 1:08:34H. Foley?

  Just, okay, so the impulse to scratch.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, and I was like, "Yeah, I want to do that." She was like, "All right, you need a Monostat." So I was driving to the store to get Monostat and I got pulled over. And so I started fake crying really hard. And the cop walked up and he's like, "What's wrong?" And I was like, "I don't have any money for Monostat and my vagina's so itchy. I want to put a round brush up there." And he was like...

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 1:08:57H. Foley?

  Okay, ma'am, take care.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  He was like, "I'm not going to pour water on a sinking ship." He's like, "Just put your seatbelt on." And I got out of that ticket. And so now I have a tattoo of a round brush.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  On your thigh?

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  On my thigh. Oh, yeah, because I think I wrote it into a joke that like got on some TV thing. So it was like a tribute to my mom.

• 1:09:17H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  I put a round brush on my tattoo. And people, it looks like a vibrator.

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, that's, you know... I mean, what a tribute to ma.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  My mom has a... I always say her tat... she never got a tattoo, but my dad on her grave, on the back of her grave, he put the University of Kentucky Wildcat.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  As big as this, like, the whole grave, on the back of her grave.

• 1:09:41H. Foley?

  I probably shouldn't tell you this, but just to have some type of camaraderie have your back a little bit.

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  I have been to hibachi.

• 1:09:51H. Foley?

  Remember how I had the shower brush? And I said-

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, the loofah.

• 1:09:56H. Foley?

  Sure, but in between my legs, in the taint area? When I use it down there, it feels so good, because it's itchy and it feels so good.

• 1:10:05Speaker 03

  I know, right?

• 1:10:06H. Foley?

  I have stepped up from that, where I do have an old round brush-

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  Weed whacker.

• 1:10:12H. Foley?

  -that is in my shower, that I take and I do in between there, and it is the greatest sensation of all time. I don't know, I just feel like I should-

• 1:10:21Speaker 03

  Have you ever told anyone that?

• 1:10:24H. Foley?

  No, I don't think so.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Just told a few hundred thousand people.

• 1:10:27H. Foley?

  It's a crazy sensation.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  Hold on. Let's break this down for a second.

• 1:10:31H. Foley?

  It's not in my butthole, it's in the taint.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  No, let's not break it down, let's at least sum stuff up to imagination, maybe it's not as bad as I'm picturing it right now.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  No, it's bad, but think about it.

• 1:10:38H. Foley?

  Welcome back to the breakdown. Go ahead.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  This week, is my taint itching? More than 11.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  You gotta think it's the perfect storm, because there's sensitive nerves in the taint area.

• 1:10:52H. Foley?

  Very.

• 1:10:52Speaker 03

  So, on the outskirts, there's gotta be out... there's gotta be residual sensitive nerves that are kind of around there, on top of the fact that you're moving, you're walking, it's chafing, the skin is dry, which is already just nice to scratch. So, that's a perfect storm.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  I didn't realize you were a medical professional, like your parents.

• 1:11:10H. Foley?

  Old school, though.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  Old school, Jen. All right, we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:11:13H. Foley?

  So, we barely made it out of college, which is always the sign of a true-

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  I mean, we made it to... I mean, with a little bit of trip to- London, I guess at probably 18.

• 1:11:24H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  So we made it to about 18.

• 1:11:26H. Foley?

  So you're gonna have to come back and you're gonna have to answer some questions about now, which I hope is... I don't know, it could've gotten worse for all we know.

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  I don't think it's great. She just came from a Goo Goo Dolls concert.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:38H. Foley?

  Truman.

• 1:11:38Speaker 02

  Truman booming.

• 1:11:40Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 1:11:40H. Foley?

  Really? Was that the only reason you were there? In Kentucky? Wait.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  Dog, Bourbon and beyond.

• 1:11:45H. Foley?

  Were you at your, were you at your dad's house?

• 1:11:47Speaker 03

  No, I don't talk to my dad anymore.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:11:49H. Foley?

  Nooo.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Say, save it, save it, save it, save it.

• 1:11:52H. Foley?

  That's what you call a little cliffhanger. Little Marion County cliffhanger. Oh, come on down to the sod farm. Ladies and gentlemen, 100,000% garbage.

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:04Speaker 03

  I was really not sure.

• 1:12:06Speaker 02

  That's crazy, she genuinely wa-

• 1:12:08H. Foley?

  That's what makes you even more garbage.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  That's why.

• 1:12:10H. Foley?

  Katherine Blanford, everybody. You can hear her every week on her amazing podcast, Coastal Idiots.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:12:15H. Foley?

  Of course, check out her Tonight Show appearance.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:17H. Foley?

  And I assume tour right now?

• 1:12:19Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 1:12:20H. Foley?

  Tell the folks where you're at.

• 1:12:21Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be in Minneapolis, Lexington, Kentucky.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Shout out to it.

• 1:12:26Speaker 03

  Uh, and Tulsa, and everywhere else coming up. CatherineBlanford.com for tickets.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Go check her out, gang.

• 1:12:33H. Foley?

  Kippee, what do you got for them?

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  Uh, guys, we're on the road as well. All tickets available at areyougarbage.com. We wanna see you on the road.

• 1:12:39H. Foley?

  Catherine, we love you.

• 1:12:40Speaker 03

  Thank you so much, guys. This was a hoot.

• 1:12:42H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you, and we'll see you next week.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  Toodles.