2x Super Bowl Champ Clyde Edwards-Helaire, Kansas City Chiefs Running Back opens up on PTSD sidelining him this NFL season, support from Andy Reid, bond w/ Travis Kelce, LSU and status of football return

"I'm a living testament of a guy with PTSD who's been on the ledge, and I haven't let that stop me not only helping others, but getting to that point where I can help myself." As we kick off Men's Mental Health month, we bring you a special conversation with 2x Super Bowl Champion and Chiefs star running back, Clyde Edwards-Helaire as he opens up and shares his traumatic but powerful story of tragedy and healing. This past summer, Clyde courageously shared his journey of PTSD, stemming from an unfortunate event in 2018 when he was forced to act in self-defense to protect himself and his best friend. That incident happened while he was playing for the LSU National Championship team, which Clyde describes as the best time of his life on the field and the worst year of his life away from the game. On today's episode of the Pivot in partnership with Fanatics, Ryan, Fred, and Channing sit down with Clyde to unpack the impact of that day and everything he’s been dealing with since—from the mental and physical toll of PTSD to how he’s coping and finding his way forward with help from the Kansas City Chiefs, specifically Coach Andy Reid and best friend teammate, Travis Kelce. Clyde speaks candidly about the intense aftermath, describing a rollercoaster of emotions, hospitalizations, and a period when he only felt safe and like himself wearing his helmet on the field. That struggle to maintain normalcy away from football and the pressures he’s faced since that day have been challenging. He describes wrestling with guilt, constant turmoil and internal battles that trauma brings. Cleared of all legal charges, the split-second choice of being shot or pulling the trigger in defense is something that haunts him to this day: "It was either save my friend and myself or an outcome we may not be here to talk about today." Struggling with the aftermath of that choice, understanding he did what he had to do, the star running back has tried to continue to move forward but Clyde confesses that when he started to question his purpose and became physically ill day after day. Despite being the first round pick and core part of the Chiefs Super Bowl winning teams of late, his mental health battle was no longer something he could hide which caused him to face the pain head on and seek the help he needed, even if that meant putting the game he loves aside. One of the things that’s helped Clyde hold on is the support he’s received from people who truly care- like Coach Andy Reid and Travis Kelce. Reid has been a rock for him—giving him some of the biggest, most reassuring hugs and urging him to take the time he needs to get the help he needs now to set him up for a better future. Kelce, too, has been like a big brother, always by his side and lifting him up during his toughest moments. Their friendship, built over five years with the Chiefs, has become a vital part of Clyde’s journey. Having that kind of support has not only helped him heal but has also shown him how valuable it is to feel seen and supported through difficult times. In talking to Ryan, Fred, and Channing, Clyde reflects on his path forward, recognizing that this experience is part of his story—one he hopes can help others facing similar struggles. He’s learning to find peace within himself, accepting that while the trauma will always be a part of him, it doesn’t have to define him. Clyde is committed to raising awareness about PTSD and mental health, hoping that by sharing his truth, he can offer encouragement to others who feel alone in their battles. His story reminds us that even our heroes—athletes we watch and cheer for—are human, with their own complex lives and personal journeys to healing. Tap in for more from this inspiring episode only on the Pivot Podcast, and be sure to hit that subscribe button! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends. Like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest, or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an ultra. Because it's not just a superior light beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 0:28Ryan Clark?

  On December 22nd, 2018, Kansas City Chiefs running back Clyde Edwards-Halera and his best friend Jared Small traveled to North Baton Rouge to sell a Playstation. To Clyde's knowledge, everything had been taken care on an app. He figured that the conversation and the exchange would take five to 10 seconds. Unbeknownst to both the men, both Clyde and Jared, Kobe Johnson, an 18-year-old young man, had a gun. He put that gun to the side of Jared Small's head. With the reaction, growing up with a father who was both a cop and a former Marine, Clyde sprung into action. He pulled the trigger and Kobe Johnson was killed.

• 1:12Ryan Clark?

  After he was brought to the police station, eventually he got back on the field in 2019. He was a part of a Louisiana State University Tigers team that won a national championship. He was drafted first round by the Kansas City Chiefs and became a two-time Super Bowl champion. This year during training camp, Clyde battled bouts of throwing up and puking. He was eventually put into the hospital and then placed on the non-football injury list. Andy Reid told him that he needed to make sure he got some of those things fixed, not so he could be a great football player, but so he could continue to be a great man, now and beyond football.

• 1:54Ryan Clark?

  We sit with Clyde today to talk about that incident and the PTSD that has followed. Because even though you can have a great career on the grass, you don't get to wear the helmet in your everyday life.

• 2:31Channing Crowder?

  There's a D tackle at Miami Christian. Can you call his mom? Shelly, don't worry about it. That's crazy.

• 2:38Ryan Clark?

  That's how Clyde got the catalog. That's how Clyde got the catalog. They recruited him.

• 2:46Ryan Clark?

  What's up, my boy?

• 2:47Channing Crowder?

  Yeah, I know y'all boys ain't supposed to be at them little, them nice little private schools.

• 2:50Ryan Clark?

  You went to private school?

• 2:52Channing Crowder?

  Why I didn't? I went to a magnet school.

• 2:54Ryan Clark?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:55Fred Taylor?

  What kind of seeds you planting, Chan?

• 2:57Channing Crowder?

  I don't know, man. It's a free shirt.

• 2:59Fred Taylor?

  A M M at three?

• 3:00Channing Crowder?

  Bro, it's a free shirt.

• 3:02Ryan Clark?

  Nobody wears more free T-shirts than you do.

• 3:05Fred Taylor?

  Than Chan and Crowder.

• 3:07Channing Crowder?

  Everything I got's free. Now, y'all done made me famous? All my shit's free. For real. This shit free, last show free, everything free. It's man, they send boxes to the house.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Can't knock it. If it's free, it's for me.

• 3:21Fred Taylor?

  He had a lot of free six rings?

• 3:23Ryan Clark?

  I think Clyde might be too young to even know a six ring joint.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I know. I'm kind of a shoe head, but six rings, bruh?

• 3:30Channing Crowder?

  I got some purple ones at the house right now. I'm about to pull out here when it's something special, maybe Christmas.

• 3:37Ryan Clark?

  Hey, man. Clyde Edwards-Helaire, man. Welcome to the show. It is a privilege to have you sit here with me. I mean, I need some LSU every now and then, man. Break up some of this.

• 3:47Speaker 04

  Just a little, whatever they got going on, yeah.

• 3:50Ryan Clark?

  Break up some of this sometimes.

• 3:51Channing Crowder?

  We about to see each other in a couple of weeks. We not gonna see y'all.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  You ain't worry about it.

• 3:55Ryan Clark?

  Brad Taylor, Chan and Crowder, I'm Ryan Clark. Welcome to the Pivot, Pivot fam. Thank you for pivoting with us. I think the first question I do just want to ask is, how are you doing right now?

• 4:07Speaker 04

  I'm doing a lot better than I have been these past four years. Mentally, physically, everything is just on the up and up, man. It's, it... I'll say I'm probably the healthiest I've been since I've came into the league.

• 4:20Ryan Clark?

  You're a two-time Super Bowl champion, first-round draft pick. You're a national champion with the 2019 LSU Tigers. But before all that, there was an event in your life that truly changed your life forever, a friend's life forever, and a life was lost. Can you kind of take me through the events of December 22, 2018?

• 4:43Speaker 04

  One of the hardest days of my life, and I don't think it'll veer any way from that. It was supposed to be, you know, like a, my friend was going, get rid of a PlayStation, because that year, we were playing in a PlayStation Bowl, so we got a whole bunch of PlayStations and whatnot. And, man, a app, let go, you know, just something you think is just so seamless that everything should just kind of be seamless and, you know, just easy, easy. I just had kind of like a bad feeling in the morning when I woke up. He, we were living in the same apartment, me, Jared Small, Nico Reid. And, you know, Jared came, just knocked on my door.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  He was like, "Look, I'm about to head to this side of town, North Baton Rouge, where I grew up at. Born and raised, and everything that I did on that side of town, it wasn't the best growing up on that side." And Jared's from South Baton Rouge, close to LSU. And I just had a bad feeling that morning after he kind of knocked on my door, told me he was going to head out that way. And something told me, just called him before he even got there. And I told him, "Just meet me at my mom's house." Because I just hopped in the car and just headed straight to my mom's house. I'm like, "Look, I'm going to ride with you." So everything could be, you know, just smooth. There wasn't any like foreshadowing or anything, but it's just, I know how things go on that side.

• 6:10Speaker 04

  And from that point, like, we went and we ended up meeting at my mom's house. Hopped in his car or whatever and headed to the destination, wherever they planned on, you know, doing the exchange at. The whole time, I'm just kind of like in a fog. A feeling that I never felt before. I wouldn't say my intuition is good. Just, I mean, my stepdad at the time was a narcotics police officer, ex-marine. My mom was in the army. It's just little things that I learned growing up. Just kind of stay on your Ps and Qs and always kind of be ahead of the situation. Granted, you know, what city that we live in. Man, so I'm assuming that everything is already negotiated.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Price, everything. I'm just thinking it's gonna be something smooth.

• 6:58Ryan Clark?

  So when you get there, you don't know what Jared has communicated with the guy. You just figure I'm gonna ride with him. I know North Baton Rouge. And now y'all pull up and the exchange is about to happen. What happens then?

• 7:11Speaker 04

  They kind of, you know, not necessarily a little back and forth. It was just more like about price, about whatever he was going, you know, sell the game for. And at that point, I'm kind of, my ears perk up. Cause it's like, I thought, I'm thinking all this is, this is done. If you already going do an exchange on something, especially through the app and how everything was going. I'm like, all right, this should be no more than five seconds. You know, five, 10, 10 seconds, it shouldn't be any more than that. And man, just from that point, it kind of went south, bro. The next thing, the next thing I see is a gun towards Jared's head.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  I mean, my only reaction was, you know, either I'm about to watch my best friend lose his life or do something about it.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  As far as me always kind of having my side on me is something that I grew up around. My dad being a cop, knowing how to necessarily store my weapon, how to have it in certain spots. And then at the time, I was already kind of trained in certain classes. I trained with the SWAT under my dad with learning how to do certain things and work my weapon. You know, it was Jared or him. And, I mean.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  I honestly hate, you know, I hate, hate how it went. Especially learning just more things about the individual and just, I wanted the best for every, you know, I wish it would have never went that way, just wanted the best for everybody in that situation, but at the time, man, the way, the way I kind of looked at Jared and kind of felt like that was probably gonna be my last time seeing him, um, it just, it just was.

• 9:09Ryan Clark?

  What made it possible, Clyde, for you to be able to pull the trigger? I can't imagine being in that position and having to do that when you knew it was time to save your friend's life. What's going through your head?

• 9:27Speaker 04

  The very first thing was, I don't want my best friend dying. Second is, if this, if that happens to him, what's stopping the gun coming towards me after the fact? And it being two of us gone for no reason? And that's just, you know, that's, that's a hump that I've never been able to, been able to get over. Uh, it's a horrible feeling. I hope nobody ever, you know, has to ever go through, you know, the, the situation I've been through, even Jared. I mean, I, I, I think about that all the time because I'm not, I wasn't on that end of how that went. I don't, I can't imagine having a gun towards my head and not only that, just thinking about

• 10:09Speaker 04

  the fact of if I didn't, you know, go with him or how bad I would have felt not following my intuition initially.

• 10:18Fred Taylor?

  With such a tragic event, you've been impacted personally, emotionally, as well as mentally, you've had bouts of PTSD. How are you, or experiences with PTSD? How are you able to stay resilient and continue to move forward?

• 10:35Speaker 04

  Honestly, Fred, it was these last, these last four years up until probably about four months ago, a complete roller coaster. Um, just dealing with not only the mental side of it, but the physical side. I mean, I can't count on... Any one of our hands, you know, the amount of times I've been hospitalized.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Man, I was sleeping probably three hours a night on average these last four years. Maybe a good night would have been like six hours. And, uh, I mean, I would have constant throwing up situations and I try to, you know, mentally try to put myself in different spots, but that would never work. The only time that I would feel myself was when I was putting on the helmet. And I remember telling Coach Reed that like, man, I know I'm going through all these, you know, spills and having to go to the hospital and everything, but the time that I feel like Clyde again is when I'm out with the dudes putting on the helmet and I'm able

• 11:41Speaker 04

  to participate in practice or sit in meetings or do those things. And I know that only lasts for so long, so it was only a certain amount of time that I felt like I needed to not necessarily speak out, but try to find more help than than what I was getting. Our training staff was amazing in the spots when I was, you know, going through those episodes, you know, PTSD to CVS, to sickly vomit syndrome, something that we end up kind of going through with some of my doctors and realizing that's another thing that I had just because no matter the situation, no matter where I was, I mean, I could be out golfing.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Man, I'd just hide on the other side of the cart and literally just throw up. It would be random spills. It could be a noise. It could be somebody looking at me a certain way. You know, I just, it gets to the point where you don't know what's going to happen next. If something is, you know, is gonna happen to your loved ones or the people that you're around,

• 12:50Speaker 04

  that situation just flipped a switch that I can't undo. Finally, not necessarily all the way cured, but just having these last few months of going, getting the right therapy, taking the right meds as far as not just the things that are just downers or just trying to make my mind escape. That's pretty much been my last few months, just trying to get as healthy as I possibly can. And that switch, I feel like is halfway flicked in this situation to where I can sit here and tell you that I feel a lot better mentally and physically than I have the past four years.

• 13:34Channing Crowder?

  And, bro, the incident happened. Like I said, I can't think about being in your shoes with what happened. What's the next three days, three weeks, three months of that? You know what I'm saying? Like, even three minutes of this happens. What happens from the time that you have to pull that trigger moving forward?

• 13:55Speaker 04

  Initially after, man, I remember the district attorney, Hilla Moore, they threw me in the back of a cop car. And at that point, you know, they kind of just investigating everything. At that time, I'm a full-blown, you know, criminal aspect even as far as what they seeing. But they gonna do whatever they need to do as far as, one, he was an LSU student, LSU athlete.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Try their best to try to conceal everything. But the thing is, is with that being an LSU student, LSU athlete, it blew up even more. I remember heading from that point. Incuffs. Go to whatever police station we was at. Cause they literally put me in the backseat and covered me up with probably twenty police coats. Just so they wouldn't even know. People wouldn't know what car I was in or whatever. We go to whatever little hole in the spot. And I'm in this room and I'm in there completely by myself. No clock. I don't know what time it is. Uh.

• 15:04Speaker 04

  And I feel like the thing that that tripped me out the most is they had a window. There. And I tried to look out the window and when I opened it, it was a mirror.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  And that that right there completely broke me down. Cause at that point, I'm like, okay, I I really don't know what's next. Uh. The thing is, is in that whole situation, they were trying to, however many hours it was. They just trying to figure out story wise. If my story lines up with my best friends, the anatomy of everything, how everything, how it could have took place and. Were we doing something that we weren't supposed to be doing? You know, that's that's the first, that's the first thing they go to. Well, obviously they were selling something or doing something that they didn't need to be. And, um. I mean, that obviously, you know, i- i- it wasn't the case. Uh.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  And I remember, you know, the two detectives coming in, questioning me just about everything. And.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  Then they left out. And I'm sitting there another felt like four or five hours. And then I remember they just, you know, opened the door and just like, not necessarily you good, but you know, your family is in this other room and. When I walked in there, I mean, it was all of Jared's family, all of my family, my running back coach, Tommy Robinson. He was sitting there and we got in the car. Jared and I got in the car with him. And they drove us to the Live Cook Hotel. Which is a hotel on LSU's campus. And when we got in the room. No phone. No TV was in there. Uh. They had screwed the window shut.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  And Jared and I had to sit in there for two days. I didn't have my phone, no contact with anybody. And it was just kind of me and him. It was hard.

• 17:04Ryan Clark?

  You were on a team with a head coach who has gone through a lot. Andy Reid and his family, whether it's losing loved ones or situations with his sons. He's dealt with a lot very publicly. And I'm sure you had to have conversations with him about what you were going through. And also, in order to get the help that you were seeking, Andy Reid needed to be OK with that, in line with that, and probably spearheading and leading that. What are some of the conversations you and Andy had when it came to you getting the treatment you needed to recover?

• 17:47Speaker 04

  Honestly, man, our strongest conversation probably went along right after camp this year. You know, I go through the draft process and the combined interviews. And I literally interviewed with all 32 teams, and they all asked the same question. That 15 minutes on the clock was literally me telling a story, reverses, going over the same things and going through my past traumas with every team, just so, honestly, they could just kind of be in my business. That was a huge story. And the thing that shocked me the most about when I went in with the Chiefs was, at the

• 18:31Speaker 04

  time, the offensive coordinator, Eric Bieniemy. I sat down, and he was like, "Look, we know about the story. We good." And then Coach Reid just kind of sat there and just kind of like sat back in his chair and was like, "What? Like, what story are we talking about?" He didn't know at all. I mean, I literally looked at him in his eye the whole time, not even looking at anybody else in that room. And I remember telling him that. And he gave me one of the biggest hugs that I've had in a while. And then, you know, fast forward some years, I'm going through everything I'm going through these past four years, being sick, doing whatever, in and out. And I don't want to say the story kind of faded in the back of his mind.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  Obviously, he knew kind of what went on. But I don't think the details were kind of getting told to him, just because everybody thinks, you know, it's Coach Reed, he has enough on his plate. Clyde being sick, his stomach just hurting, you know, stuff like that, you know, you know how the NFL is. I think the thing that kind of triggered him the most was this past camp. And I was, you know, I was rolling the first few weeks, just doing everything I needed to do. And I say that last week, I had a bad episode. I was in my room and just couldn't stop, couldn't stop throwing up. They ended up taking me to whatever the nearest hospital was, and I was in there for like

• 20:00Speaker 04

  four or five days. I got down to like 180 pounds, small, couldn't eat, couldn't just, to me, same old thing, same old routine, they gonna do whatever they gonna do, and then at some point, I'm gonna get up out of here and I'm gonna be able to go back. They were having meetings, you know, they still having meetings, still in camp, and I'm hopping on my iPad, getting meetings, like kind of FaceTime in. And then Coach Reed kind of leaned into the camera, just like, oh, what's up, dude? And I was in a hospital bed with all this stuff hooked up on me. He just was like, like, I didn't know.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  It was that bad every time that you were, they was telling me you were sick. I'm just thinking, you probably at the crib, you know, tucked in bed, do whatever, and you're just, you're just sick. He didn't think it was to the extent of Clyde has to get almost like pretty much hospitalized and revived every time he has one of these episodes. And then he comes, he comes back in the building, smiling, cracking jokes and all these other things like nothing ever happened. And I think that's what kind of pushed the NFL deal before the season started. He was like, we sitting here just, not necessarily not doing anything, but in the position that we in, let's get him as much help as we possibly can.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  Whatever doctors around here, you know, KU and all these medical people and all this other stuff, and he knows how I am about, you know, the, the, the medical, the medical field and I'm in school for it now. He's just like, why are we not doing everything that we can possibly do to help him and to get him in a position to where he is that same dude that I gave the ball to 26 times against Houston?

• 21:53Ryan Clark?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  And let him roll, like that's who I want. I don't want somebody who depletes himself or mentally gets depleted, physically it takes a toll, and then we back putting him in there in the spiel like nothing ever happened. It's like, bro, you 25 years old, like you gonna have to live the rest of your life with this. So why not get the help that we need, that you need now? Get all the questions answered so you can be able to enjoy your life, not only for the rest of your NFL career, but life after. What's the, what's the point of us playing this game and being on this platform if we

• 22:37Speaker 04

  can't do the things that's necessary, like help people who need help? And that's when I just took a step back and really appreciated Coach Reed as the man and the father and the just stature of a person that he is.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  You know, I had to, NFL was a hard thing because like I was telling him, the only time I felt myself was when I'm playing. So you about to put me in a situation to where

• 23:02Fred Taylor?

  I can't.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  I can't feel like myself. But you need to learn how to be able to cope with that and be yourself away from this.

• 23:12Fred Taylor?

  That's non-football injury list.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:15Fred Taylor?

  I'm glad you bring that back up because I wanted to go there and ask you. You know, you came in your rookie year, you crushed it. You know, in spite of everything that was going around on the outside of football. You said football makes you feel like yourself. And you've had some injuries and some other things and some other challenges. Are there different times that make it feel worse or better?

• 23:39Speaker 04

  I've had that question before and it's times that, like I said, I don't even know sometimes what triggers it. Or what triggers, you know, my mental capacity just kind of spinning and doing whatever. And I mean, obviously, one of the best things that happened to me, I got married. My wife, man, she is, when I go home and I'm able to kind of be myself around her, talk to her. Got my dogs, man, I got my cars and stuff like. I would use those as escapes and I'm as happy as I can be. And it'd be times where I'm just, I'm around and all of a sudden I just hit a wall.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Like we could be, you know, watching anything, laughing at anything. And all of a sudden, I'm just kind of seeping down and I'm thinking about what could have or that, you know. And it sucks, but it's, these past few months, I've been able to kind of,

• 24:38Speaker 04

  I hit a spot like that and be able to funnel it into any, you know, other things and other traumas that I've been through and got over. And one of my main things is like my little sister, she was born muscular dystrophy. She wasn't even supposed to, she wasn't supposed to live past six months. And I remember just watching my mom and my dad go through that. And it's like, you don't want to put yourself in other shoes, but watching them do the things that they needed to do to get over certain humps. I would try to funnel myself and put myself in positions like that as far as in their shoes to be like, how would they deal with it, how would they get over it? And. Just come out on the other side better.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Breathing techniques, just little things that would get me out of those spills are things that I've learned. But for the most part, man, it's a full-on circle with the learning curve. I've just been learning every step that I've been taking and just trying to become a better person mentally and not always just kind of get all the way into a hole to where I am in those situations where I have to be hospitalized or, you know, being away from the person who I think I am.

• 25:54Ryan Clark?

  Hey, fellas, we all have these daily routines we get into and as regimented people from being in the league, we hate when those things are thrown off. Tell me a routine you have that you hate when a monkey wrench is thrown into that plane.

• 26:08Channing Crowder?

  Man, I gotta get my kombucha in the morning. We travel so much, man, I can't find my kombucha, man. My stomach, I feel bloated and all, man. Let me get a kombucha, let me get my probiotics in me. But when that's thrown off, man, I feel the difference when kombucha's not in my life.

• 26:23Fred Taylor?

  I can't help but laugh at you because I'm the same way. But I'm not kombucha. I'm just lemon and ginger, hot water to get my system flowing. I gotta have that every morning, RC. I'm simple.

• 26:34Ryan Clark?

  Well, fellas, thankfully, you know what doesn't get skipped? Daily rewards from Fanatic Sportsbook. Bruh, every day you'll get a new offer from them guaranteed.

• 26:42Fred Taylor?

  Bet and get profit boosts and more.

• 26:45Ryan Clark?

  Head to the Fanatic Sportsbook app each day and see what offer is waiting there for you.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends, like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an Ultra. Because it's not just a superior light beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 and Hunter Bush, InBev, Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 27:21Channing Crowder?

  It gotta be frustrating, bruh, cuz you heard the story. When it came, like you said, it blew up.

• 27:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:27Channing Crowder?

  So you knew the story. Everybody knew the story.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  Everybody knew.

• 27:30Channing Crowder?

  But to have a high-pressure job, to be, shit, be famous, and to now have that both sides. So you're dealing with this, but you have a high-pressure job. You already got that. You already got to, you know, carry teams. Carry the team. You got your shirt on.

• 27:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:47Channing Crowder?

  Carry that team. You're talking about games we seen you go for a hundred and back-to-back games and all of that stuff. If you worked at Walgreens, you know what I'm saying? I don't know if this, you know what I'm saying?

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:58Channing Crowder?

  Just listen to you talk. It wouldn't be what it is because now it's, I'm missing special, 1% of the 1%.

• 28:06Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:06Channing Crowder?

  But this is still in my mind. You know, is that something that you trying to work through? Like you say, you go to therapy, you talk to people, you do that. Like, but I think this, I think your profession adds to the problem almost.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's magnetized. You know, it's put in certain positions and certain spots that I'll never be able to escape. I tweeted something last night about Kareem. You know, Krispy Kareem, and he, and then all of a sudden, I'm getting whatever under the post, talking about something, you know?

• 28:41Channing Crowder?

  Hmm.

• 28:42Speaker 04

  And it's just like, I, you know what I'm saying? Like, I can't escape that. That's part of the story that's, you know, it's part of my book. And people gonna always flip back and go to that page to do whatever, trigger or do, you know, and it's just, it sucks. But it's a gift and a curse because I know I'm in a situation to where if I do talk about it and I do, that dude at Walgreens might be going through something.

• 29:16Channing Crowder?

  But nobody gonna talk about it.

• 29:17Speaker 04

  Nobody ain't gonna talk about it.

• 29:18Channing Crowder?

  Yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  I'm in a position to where I could say something and talk about it. And he like, but damn, you know, they got dudes who on that level who everything ain't, you know what I'm saying, peaches and cream. Like,

• 29:33Speaker 04

  he in that position, but he still, he still going through it and I can't tell you amount of DMs or, you know, personal messages on, on Facebook and stuff to where it's people like, bruh.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I'm, you know, dealt with this and dealt with this and the fact that you able to kind of speak up on it on, on, on your platform. Not only is it helping, but it's more of a

• 29:57Speaker 04

  a soothing set for them because it's like, okay, these dudes not superheroes. We people, we going through it. And if he could sit here and talk about it and, and he's going through it, you know, what's,

• 30:13Speaker 04

  I mean, I, dude's talking about, you know, suicide and everything else. It's not necessarily, I'm not gonna say there's no reason for it, you know what I'm saying, but like I've, I've been on that ledge.

• 30:25Channing Crowder?

  Damn.

• 30:26Speaker 04

  I've been on that ledge. Like, I was, I was there, you know what I'm saying? Like I, what's the point? Because every time I hit a corner, that's all somebody gonna see me as.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  So why not just go ahead, leave and let that, you know what I'm saying? Let dust be dust and let, let, let it be done. It got to the point to where I'm like, okay, I'm going through it. Finally kind of talked about it this past, this past camp as far as making it really public. And, um, I don't want to say my story saved lives, but I mean, every time I'm reading something, man, I, I feel like I'm, I'm changing a narrative of, of, on certain things and actually saving lives by talking about my situation and showing that. You could wake up every morning and get through it. And not just ponder on it.

• 31:16Ryan Clark?

  Why do you have Facebook? You're 25 years old. That Facebook's older than you.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Something about, I think it's, I feel older than, than, than, than what I actually am.

• 31:26Ryan Clark?

  They say you get a Facebook message chat.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, they call them PMs, personal messages. And then you go, and then you go on Messenger. It's like a different, it's like, it's like a whole nother app.

• 31:35Channing Crowder?

  You put a CD in your computer for internet?

• 31:38Speaker 04

  I did.

• 31:39Channing Crowder?

  You only had 25 hours?

• 31:40Speaker 04

  CDs, I used to, I used to burn CDs. I know it's illegal, but man, I was around with, I was around with floppy disks. So you can't, you can't sit here and tell me that I'm.

• 31:51Channing Crowder?

  He's got an old soul.

• 31:52Ryan Clark?

  He is an old soul.

• 31:54Channing Crowder?

  You play Oregon Trail?

• 31:56Speaker 04

  Nah, nah, I ain't play Oregon Trail.

• 31:59Ryan Clark?

  You talked about stuff, you talked about stuff triggering you. And it makes me think about, you know, like you'll see these things where we talk about military and veterans.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:10Ryan Clark?

  And they've been in the heat of battle and they've heard gunshots and they've seen bombs go off and all of these different things. And they might be walking down the street or at a football game and a cannon shoots for a touchdown. And it triggers them into a certain feeling. You're at the Super Bowl parade and that has to be extremely triggering when there's a shootout. And later on, you're given a heroism award for shielding a young boy. What made your mind click in to protecting someone else in a situation that could have been extremely scary for you?

• 32:51Speaker 04

  Seeing faces. And I mean, it was, it was so much going on. And when it initially popped off, um, I mean, they got other people protecting Coach Reed and everything else. But I remember kind of just like pushing Coach Reed, like moving, like going towards the stairs, like pushing him down the stairs. And then from that point, just kind of watching the chaos. I mean, it's not, I don't say I'm, I'm, I'm used to gunshots and all this other stuff and kind of, but I am. Uh, I mean, one of my first instances with it was my older brother and I playing in the front yard. And a drive by literally.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  Thought it was supposed to be, somebody was doing whatever at the next house, and they shot at our house. And that was one of my first instances with just watching stuff go from here to there. And I remember just watching, you know, just kind of moving around, kind of made sure my wife was good, she was on the bus and whatnot, and everybody was kind of just funneling one direction. Man, he was just spinning in a circle, bro. He didn't know where to go.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  And so many people just kind of, you know, pulling me like, oh, you know, trying to protect us. But I'm like, it's innocent people out here who didn't sign up for this. Not necessarily saying, you know, I was talking about like the superhero thing, but the position that we in, you know, at times when we amongst civilians, we kind of feel like we are. And just watching how it happened so quick, but just watching how helpless he looked. I didn't want to see that face and then see something afterwards. To where knowing I could have made a difference if something would have happened to him. Wanted to help as many people as I possibly could, but it was, it was just a reaction.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  It was just making sure I can't save everybody here. But if I could save one, that's more, one more than zero. I remember grabbing him and, you know, just kind of asking his name. And when I realized I got him to a safe spot, and he was like, I'm like, who you here with? I was like, I'm here with my dad. I go back into the building. What they telling us the shots coming from? I'm like, cool, I'm not worried about that. My job right now is to make sure he's safe. And that was something that, you know, at the time, you got people making faces that, you know, kind of looking like, oh, like, he really going, like, back and forth. I'm doing as much as I possibly could.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  Because in those situations, I just feel like I don't hear bullets whizzing past me.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  You know, they not, they, they not for me. So, I feel like I had a force field around me at the time. But my job is to save the little kid who possibly could have got struck by a stray.

• 35:58Ryan Clark?

  You ever met, you ever met Mike Hollins?

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's my boy.

• 36:02Ryan Clark?

  Yeah, you're obviously very good friends with Jordan, went to U High. We sat with him when he finally decided to talk. And your story, at least that one, is eerily similar to his. And so I'm glad that you are connected with him and y'all talk. Because I think it's very important y'all can lean on one another, for sure.

• 36:25Fred Taylor?

  Clyde, you mentioned earlier how you feel when you go back home. A lot of things we take for granted. We leave the house and think that we're automatically gonna make it back home. But in the situation with Jared, you helped Jared get back home. Similar situation with the kid, the life you helped save during your Super Bowl celebration parade. It had me thinking over here that you can potentially be an angel. You mentioned you were on a ledge. God has kept you here for a reason. And it takes me back to the moment when you say you were in that holding cell and attempting to look outside. When you opened the blinds, it was a mirror. You had an opportunity to look back on yourself. I think it was a moment of, of reflection.

• 37:08Fred Taylor?

  Through all of this, have you had an opportunity to just look inside yourself and say, there's a bigger, a bigger message and a bigger meaning for my life? Because I've helped save lives. Now I have to continue to fight that fight to save my life because God has me here for a reason. Have you taken the time to like just look deep inside your soul to sort of figure all of that out?

• 37:35Speaker 04

  Honestly, man, being truthful, no. My first thought with everything is always others.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  Making sure everybody else good. And that's not, you know, the situation I'm in is not just, you know, oh, I can help people financially, you know, it's, I'll sit there, even my wife tell me, she was like, "Bro, you, you, you long-winded with stuff and doing whatever." Because I try to...

• 38:02Speaker 04

  I couldn't talk myself off that ledge. In essence, I got caught. My older brother, you know what I'm saying? And there was me in there trying to figure out what I'm gonna use to do it. And he walked in like, "Bro, like, what you doing?"

• 38:23Speaker 04

  And that right there was kinda like a, like, "All right." You know what I'm saying? That day was pretty much it. You know what I'm saying? I, I, you know how people always, you know, they say with the suicide thing, or, you know, people already kinda be having their mind made up. I was made up. I was done. But I've never took the time to just sit back and look deep down within myself to be like, either this is your purpose, or, you know, just however the conversation will go with myself. I've, I haven't deep, you know, deep dived into it. One, because I feel like it'll not necessarily trigger something. But I just feel like, you know, one of my purposes are, is to be around to help people.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  And I've always, always told people that.

• 39:12Speaker 04

  Not just only after that instance, uh, but that's been, that's been my thing. I remember pre-K kindergarten, man, a, a kid who had diabetes. I used to have a bad speech impediment, and I used to stutter real bad. And, um, I used to take him every day to go to the office to check his blood sugar and get his insulin. And that's something that I've all, like, my thing is just to be there for people and always be aware of my surroundings. And make sure everybody else is around me good, because if everybody else around me good, then I know I'm straight.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends, like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an Ultra. Because it's not just a superior-like beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser-Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 40:19Fred Taylor?

  Yeah, I want to share it real quick because I know Chan has something. And I'm not the biggest or the most religious person, but I do believe in a higher power. And I also try and live by Genesis 50:20. God brought me here to save the lives of many. And that's whether it's just through conversation on this platform, having opportunities to sit down with people like yourself or with guests like yourself that can share your message, that when our viewers or listeners hear your message and your story, they can continue to go further. We get messages all the time as well.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:58Fred Taylor?

  Talking about, you know, I was on the ledge, you know, but listening to this episode or that episode helped save my life. So I do believe that there's a higher calling for your life. And just continue to live as you've lived. And you'll continue to save lives, man. So I respect everything you've done and where you are in life. And it's good to see that you're healthy.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  I appreciate that, Freddie T. Most definitely, for real. I appreciate that.

• 41:26Channing Crowder?

  Like you said, you find joy in helping everyone else.

• 41:31Channing Crowder?

  Are you shortchanging yourself?

• 41:35Speaker 04

  I wouldn't say I am. I would say that's one of my happy places. Like, you know, we talked about football and everything, and that's where I feel like I'm myself. But...

• 41:49Channing Crowder?

  But you can't give everybody clout. There's only so much. Like, as you say, even listening, like Fred said, even listening to stories. Man, I'm gonna go help this person. Your homeboy in the incident of 18. I gotta get him out of that. I gotta get him out of that. I gotta get him out of that. I gotta do this for them. I gotta do this for them. What about you?

• 42:10Channing Crowder?

  To Fred's question, bro, like, you know what I'm saying?

• 42:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:15Channing Crowder?

  Like, it just seems like, like, you can't, and we talked about it, I talked about it a couple of episodes ago, where my therapist told me, he was like, "You can't find your joy in other people."

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:25Channing Crowder?

  You gotta have your own inner peace, your own inner happiness, the funny guy, you know, I always messing around, joking around and all that stuff, bullshit. And I would get, like, it would make me happy when I could make a whole room laugh.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:37Channing Crowder?

  But am I really happy? Or am I happy that they're laughing at the joke? You know what I'm saying? So like, even my thing is fishing, like, I really, like, I can go fishing by myself.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  We gotta do, we gotta go fishing.

• 42:48Channing Crowder?

  And that makes me, but can that be the joy, like, can that be your joyous place? But you, you just, do you, do you give too much to try to everybody else? Where, man, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta have you too.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  I would say, um, within this last year, got married this past summer, me crossing that ledge as far as getting on a knee and asking somebody else to be my better half. From that point, I feel like I've kinda hit a, hit a corner into being more responsible for my happiness. Um, checking the things that I wouldn't have done before, I would have just done it off impulse. Actually thinking through the processes and going with not my first thought,

• 43:37Speaker 04

  but being able to kinda analyze situations and be like, okay, is this the embodiment of not only me, but I got this other half now, you know what I'm saying? It's now it's us as far as one, and I feel like that, if I was still single, I probably would be spreading myself then. And that's, that's completely, you know, just me completely being transparent. I think if it wasn't for that, uh, me, me, you know, jumping the broom and, and doing that whole nine, I've now kinda put not only myself, you know, but as far as us in one, into a different bubble to understand

• 44:17Speaker 04

  after, make sure I'm good first, in order to make sure everything else around me is, is good. And that's, and it's even been more of a, you know, a, a better happening with the help that I've been getting, you know, these past few months, even after, you know, Coach Reeve was just like, bumped that, we gonna help him, like. I feel like now to answer your question like yeah, I do have myself. You know, I am taking care of myself initially before I hurry up and jump the gun to make sure everybody else good.

• 44:52Ryan Clark?

  You know, you were kind of a personal draft pick of old Patrick Mahomes. You know, he wanted you to be on this team and you know, I mentioned earlier that you're a two-time Super Bowl champion and so you have experienced success even if you were still fighting through some of the things that stemmed from that day in 2018. And not only to success as a team, you sown into this team with your individual production. What has this ride with the Kansas City Chiefs been like since you say putting on that helmet and being with your brothers is the time where you could truly be yourself?

• 45:32Speaker 04

  It hasn't been anything, you know, short of amazing. Lot of ups and downs, obviously, you know, just kind of dealing with everything. But it's doing the things that I set out to do as a kid, man. Just everybody wanted that aspiration. I'm writing stuff to my team, just like I'm being in NFL. They're like, oh, be more realistic. Like a lot of NFL, you know, dudes kind of has had that, you know, put on them. But it's different when, you know, I've literally won a championship on every level that you can win on.

• 46:02Ryan Clark?

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  It's, I don't want to say it's nothing else that, you know what I'm saying? Nothing else that can be done. But it's like being able to hit those benchmarks and not only do that, but still feel like there's so much more else that I can do. And if it wasn't for, you know, Pat saying, yeah, give me 22 from LSU. If it wasn't for that, I don't know how that void would be, you know, filled. I think it'd just be. Like Chaney said, I think it'd just be me spreading myself as thin as possible to kind of fill those voids, to make sure everything else is good around me.

• 46:41Ryan Clark?

  Bro, did you enjoy 2019, Clyde? Like, that happened in December of 2018. I enjoyed 2019. It actually made TV more fun for me. Bro, like, I remember watching you against Alabama, 2 versus 3, lose your mind. I think you had like 180, 4 tubs. But listening to you talk about, like, how much you had to deal with, that was the greatest year for probably every Louisianian.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Most definitely.

• 47:10Ryan Clark?

  That's alive right now. What was 2019 like for you? The best team?

• 47:15Speaker 04

  On the football side?

• 47:18Speaker 04

  Best year of my life. Life side, probably the worst.

• 47:22Ryan Clark?

  Damn.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  And...

• 47:28Speaker 04

  I remember just thinking every day, you know, it was fun when I was putting on my helmet, I'm doing those things and doing that, but I was literally running to get out of Baton Rouge, bruh.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  Everything that I was thinking, everything that I was doing was to get out the situation.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  And that, that's, that's just, that's that. And I remember going to Alabama as my official visit and Nick Saban telling me, "The only thing you can do for me is kick return."

• 47:59Speaker 04

  And everybody know how LSU-Alabama thing is. I'm like, if I'm gonna do anything, the way I'm gonna get up out of here is doing what I need to do on the biggest stage when everybody's watching. Granted, that whole year was the biggest stage because we was doing what we were supposed to do, but I'm SEC meant, bruh, for that game. It ain't going nowhere. Like, we could talk 20 years from now, I know, like, everybody's gonna be like, "Yeah, but..." Whoever had 4 touchdowns against Alabama, and sealed the end of the game, they putting the ball in his hand.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  The smallest dude on the field.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  The dude who wasn't supposed to be in SEC play at all, and not only that, mentally, his mind is scrambled.

• 48:48Speaker 04

  Nobody would put they, you know, nobody could put theyself in my shoes in that situation. But that was, that was the only thing that I was thinking. Get, get out of here.

• 49:00Channing Crowder?

  Even to think about that, like, like you said, your hat, like your helmet on, puts you in your happy place almost doing it. Like you stressed out. PTSD. Just, your mind scrambled, in your words, all day. You could get in that backfield, line up, and let everything go for those two and a half, three hours. And as soon as the game's over, you right back to that place you was before the helmet was on.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:30Channing Crowder?

  For years.

• 49:34Channing Crowder?

  Bruh, that got, that has, that has to be, like you saying, that has to be just a miserable place to be. Cause you, that's, that's, and that's already a tough place to be. It's already a tough, playing against the best in the world.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  I don't look at it as that, it didn't, it didn't feel like that. Like, that national anthem will go, and I'll do whatever, and then from, from that point on, I'm free.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  I'm not worried about nothing else crossed there. I'm not, I'm not, I'm,

• 50:06Speaker 04

  I'm in a different place. I don't, like, yeah, it sucks after the fact. But, being able to escape for them two to three hours, and not even think about what these other dudes are like, other, that's, that's, that's the most pressure that some dudes gonna ever have. And I'm out there having a blast. That's, that's why I feel like I could do this forever. I remember watching a, a interview with Joe, and he was like, yeah, if anybody, I know, Clyde played ten, fifteen years in this league. Because the amount of fun that I have in those small moments, the NFL, I mean, it's, it's short-lived, everybody know that. But it feels like an eternity for me when I'm out there. Cause that's as happy as I can, you know, I'm there.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  Only other day is my wedding, bruh. But other than that?

• 50:57Ryan Clark?

  Clyde, you played with Joe, Jamar, Justin. You now play with Patrick, Travis. Like, there are all these stars you've played with and made your own mark on these teams. Do those people, do the superstars that you were around, know what you've been dealing with this whole time?

• 51:20Speaker 04

  I would say, you know, college-wise, like, I still talk to my dogs. I'm still close with Jamar, still close with Jett. Me and Joe always texting. I'm still close with them, but as far as league-wise, there's only two people that I've really, like, sat down and had real conversations with. Kadarius Tony and Travis Kelce.

• 51:42Ryan Clark?

  What was the conversation like with Travis about what you've been going through?

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Man, Travis is real, real heartfelt, you know? Like Freddie say, you know, probably not the most religious person, but he's gonna speak whatever he, you know, feels at the time. But, I mean, the amount of time that I was spending with Travis, bro, was unreal. I mean, I really look at him as a big brother. And I needed somebody to lean on.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  My first year in the league was COVID, the COVID year, which literally kept us isolated from each other. But the only person that'd do those things, you know, and reach out and make sure I'm good, text me on random days, was Travis. Like, "Bro, you good?" Like, he was the only one. Like, he'd notice when I'm kind of jacked up in the morning in meetings and all this other stuff. Real, you know, real aware of his surroundings. And I felt comfortable with him. I could talk to him, he'd tell me whatever he, you know, not necessarily sway my mind one way or another, but it was somebody that I could vent to. And it didn't get any better than that, bro. Like, we wouldn't necessarily get to the details of everything, you know,

• 53:01Speaker 04

  the kind of like, you know, "How we doing here?" But it'd be, he knew the story. I mean, like I said, like, we talked about, everybody knew. It was just, you know, that's just what it is. But the way Travis and I would talk, bro, it was...

• 53:19Speaker 04

  More heartfelt than anything. Numerous conversations. I didn't play, I've been with the Chiefs five years and probably, you know, been my best friend since I walked in the door. You know, he called me G B C, Good Brother Clyde.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  You know what I'm saying? Like, got nicknames and everything and that was another thing, like, bruh, out of all things, like, that's his nickname for me.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  He realizes and makes you like, Clyde makes sure everybody good. It don't matter the situation. Don't worry about it. Call Good Brother Clyde, he'll get you right. And that kind of resonated with me.

• 54:02Speaker 04

  Not only him knowing and seeing that Clyde gonna make sure everybody good, but to his aspect of being a team leader and being that dude that kind of everybody looks up to.

• 54:15Speaker 04

  It was different when he was, you know, looking out for me. And I think that's what made it, you know, made our friendship and brotherhood just unbreakable, bro.

• 54:29Ryan Clark?

  This team's undefeated and, you know, we haven't seen two five

• 54:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:34Ryan Clark?

  out there. What is it gonna take for Clyde Edwards and Lair to be back on the field doing the things that made him? I watched it in person. Louisiana State, 5A, state champion, national champion at LSU, and a two-time Super Bowl champion here with the Kansas City Chiefs. What else do you need to accomplish before we see you back out there with the Super Bowl champion Chiefs toting the pill?

• 55:07Speaker 04

  Man, I've been doing everything that I can. I've been in every meeting, been at every practice since I've been, you know, let off in that fire.

• 55:17Speaker 04

  And another thing, you know, I was talking to Veech, he was like, man, even though you're not out there, you are on our 53. No other team would do that in the league. No other team would do that.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  It's like, man, I know what you bring.

• 55:34Speaker 04

  And right now, you know, I think I'm showing everything that I need to do. Like, I've been on service, you know, P squad, servicing the starters on our defense, making sure they good every week. And that's a proud moment for me because I feel like our defense ain't been letting up on anybody. So I'm like, I'm doing the things that I need to do in order for our team to be successful as much as I can in this spot. As soon as they flick that 2-5 light for me to get on with the ones and be able to be out there and showcase with the, you know, with our guys who been rolling, they gonna get Clyde.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Full-blown, I mean, and I think the biggest thing was me was just finding peace within myself, and I think I found it.

• 56:23Fred Taylor?

  Clyde, is there a message you would like to share or hope to get across to people who might be dealing with similar challenges?

• 56:31Speaker 04

  My biggest thing is, don't let the small things become big things and overtake what's in the betterment of the person, the individual. I'm a living testament of, you know, a guy with PTSD and who's been on that ledge, and I haven't let that stop me from not only helping others, but getting to that point to where I can help myself.

• 56:59Ryan Clark?

  How much do you think of Kobe Johnson? The young man who died that day in 2018?

• 57:11Speaker 04

  More than, more than some might think.

• 57:17Speaker 04

  All the time, honestly.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Was at the school, my older brother graduated from Skylinville, that was one of the schools that I was possibly gonna end up going to. But honestly, man, it's more than a little bit hoping that...

• 57:38Speaker 04

  You know, not only

• 57:41Speaker 04

  his soul could find peace as far as with everything, but I think about him and his and his family more than anything. Baton Rouge is so small, so small to the point to where, you know, my biological father knew some of his relatives and, you know, things like that to the point to where it was like, man, we just want everything to kind of be

• 58:08Speaker 04

  be that. And when I am suited up and I do say my prayers and everything,

• 58:17Speaker 04

  probably the first name that, you know, that's that's coming out as far as who I'm praying for.

• 58:23Speaker 04

  And, you know, that's just, that's just what it is. Like I said, I wouldn't want anybody else to be in this situation because I, I know how it is and I know how it feels. But me being able to kind of

• 58:39Speaker 04

  hope, and I think the biggest thing is me praying about it and and doing those things and

• 58:47Speaker 04

  saying the name brings me peace because I know I'm doing my best to look out for him.

• 58:53Channing Crowder?

  And you know, we always ask everybody on the show, we've talked about a integral part of your life. And I tell Mrs. Edwards-Halera, you are loved. Man brings you up all the time, but the biggest pivot in your life, is it something we've spoken about, just that moment in your life that you would not be who you were today if that did not happen?

• 59:15Speaker 04

  Honestly, I think I'd be the same person. Not as far as just, you know, how I am on a day to day, keeping my head on a swivel and doing those things and and always watching for, you know, certain things, but deep down, as far as, you know, who Clyde is, my, my genetic makeup and just who I am.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  I don't think it'd be, I don't think it'd be any different. I think I'd be that heartfelt guy, that guy who makes sure everybody else is good. To a certain extent, I wouldn't say it wouldn't have altered, you know, very much more because

• 59:57Speaker 04

  I've had friends that I've lost to, you know, gun violence and I've, you know, been around it. You know, like a RC from, you know, in, around the same area and

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  everything that I'm saying, you know, and talking about our area, he could attest to it. That's just, that's just one of those things. It's just being from, from that spot, not saying that, that molds everybody, but I feel like y'all have certain ways because of the area that y'all grew up in and what y'all seen and what y'all been around. So it, it might have not been as far as in the spot that I've been in, but I don't think it would have changed, changed much.

• 1:00:40Ryan Clark?

  You are the son of both Shannon Elair and Clyde Edwards. You know, because you mentioned biologically who you are. I always wondered where the last name came from. You know, you changed your last name legally

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:58Ryan Clark?

  to honor your stepfather, or your dad.

• 1:01:01Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:01:02Ryan Clark?

  Shannon, but you made sure to keep Edwards in your name as well. Can you kind of just explain how that has shaped you to in honoring both of those parts of your lineage?

• 1:01:16Speaker 04

  Being able to put my, my families on the, on the, on the back of my jersey and have those names. Be out there is something that I've always, always thought about and wanted to do, but man, I made that decision. I was 11, 12 years old. I remember telling my mom this is what I wanted to do and the biggest step was that was I'm going to honor the man that raised me. Who changed my diapers, who brought me to practice, you know what I'm saying, who instilled a certain thing in me to not only, you know, look out for others, but to always be

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  a step ahead of everybody. That's something he taught me. I mean, ex-marine, ex-cop. And not only that, just the conversations we have are just about being a man. That, you know, unfortunately, my dad couldn't be there on those, in those early, you know, those early stages. He was, you know, incarcerated, but, you know, having my father there, that just, that completely finished the mold of Clyde that was E.L.A.R. And being able to put E.L.A.R. on my name, you know, on hyphenated and do those things was not only me honoring him, but a complete thank you.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  And appreciative moment of realizing that I wouldn't be who I am today without him.

• 1:02:46Channing Crowder?

  That's a long ass name for the kids to write when they in first grade.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Long name, long name.

• 1:02:55Ryan Clark?

  Daddy, they made me go back through kindergarten. I can't finish my test. I ain't got my name done.

• 1:03:01Fred Taylor?

  You write the whole name on the autograph?

• 1:03:03Speaker 04

  I write capital C.

• 1:03:05Fred Taylor?

  Okay.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  That goes into a lowercase e. Elongate the bottom of the E. Two lines for the H.

• 1:03:12Fred Taylor?

  Okay.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  C E H. Short and sweet. My grandmother, she, you know, before she passed with dementia and everything, like, her last, everything that she was saying was Creole French.

• 1:03:24Ryan Clark?

  So you just went back to what she knew from the beginning?

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Only my grandfather could understand her. And my dad could pick up on some things. But for the most part, I remember her just talking and it was beat all French. So.

• 1:03:40Fred Taylor?

  My grandma thought I was her boyfriend way back in high school.

• 1:03:44Channing Crowder?

  Y'all got better stories than me. My grandma thought I owe her money.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  You wanna help me out?

• 1:04:19Speaker 05

  Every game day, you show up for your team. Now, it's your time.

• 1:04:29Speaker 06

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