Bonus Belly: Frank Caliendo, Tremendous, Tremendous

Bobby and Frank reminisce about MadTV. Rudy Jules learns to do impressions. We talk table reads, talent disparities, John Madden, and getting locked out of your hotel room in your undies. See Frank Caliendo live: Official Website https://www.frankcaliendo.com This episode is sponsored by: ZocDoc, Monarch Money --Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to http://Zocdoc.com/BELLY to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. --Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code TIGERBELLY at http://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That’s 50% off your first year at http://monarch.com with code TIGERBELLY. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:59Speaker 01

  Be the Helix here for your sleep. Baby, watch your sleep, babe. Hey, Helix. For your sleep. Helix.

• 1:09Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, Helix, man, I, my sleep has improved dramatically since I've been sleeping on a Helix mattress. Improvements, A-OK, number one. Has your Helix mattress upgraded your bedroom home? Yes, it has. Every room in my house is elevated to a beautiful, comfortable sleeping place. For one, human beings and other living beings can sleep on, you know? You can personalize it, can you not?

• 1:32Speaker 03

  You can. So for instance, me, like, I'm a hot sleeper, but I also like to sleep on my side. So I got matched with a Helix Midnight mattress. And then I'm like, you know what? I wanna, I wanna upgrade a little bit, and I got the luxe version of that. So I sleep like a baby.

• 1:46Speaker 04

  The happy with Helix guarantee, rest easy with seamless returns and exchange and 120-night sleep trial. Is it award-winning? It is award-winning. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  Guys, go to helixsleep.com/tigerbelly for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/tigerbelly for 20% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com/tigerbelly.

• 2:43Bobby Lee?

  So.

• 2:53Speaker 05

  It's pretty. Is it okay for me to talk to her?

• 2:55Bobby Lee?

  You can sing, you can sing if you want.

• 2:57Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 2:58Bobby Lee?

  We're making it up.

• 2:59Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 3:00Bobby Lee?

  Frank Caliendo is my friend.

• 3:06Speaker 05

  Kind of.

• 3:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Haven't seen him in ten years.

• 3:09Speaker 05

  That's not true.

• 3:10Bobby Lee?

  Where, where, when was the last time I saw you?

• 3:12Speaker 05

  Nine years ago, eleven months.

• 3:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:16Speaker 05

  We were together.

• 3:18Bobby Lee?

  At your house?

• 3:19Speaker 05

  At my home.

• 3:19Bobby Lee?

  At your house?

• 3:20Speaker 05

  In Phoenix.

• 3:21Bobby Lee?

  Phoenix, Arizona.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  And we went by a place called Oregano's and you pronounced it Oregono.

• 3:33Speaker 05

  And said, this looks like a good place. And I said, it's Oregano's. And you said, oh.

• 3:43Bobby Lee?

  Jules, you want a line?

• 3:45Speaker 06

  No.

• 3:47Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 3:48Speaker 05

  Not a great line, or on key, really great.

• 3:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 06

  Hello?

• 3:54Bobby Lee?

  Hello? Oh my god. As a Filipino, you didn't get the, you didn't get the bite, you didn't get the gift.

• 4:01Speaker 06

  I didn't get the G.

• 4:02Bobby Lee?

  The boxing gift or the singing gift, you didn't get it. What gift did you get from the Philippines?

• 4:06Speaker 06

  Being a monkey?

• 4:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, hello. It went dark fast.

• 4:10Speaker 05

  Frank.

• 4:11Bobby Lee?

  It went, Frank, it went dark fast.

• 4:12Speaker 05

  No, I'm not involved.

• 4:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Today's guest is, um, a guy. So I got Mad TV in the year 2000 and

• 4:22Speaker 05

  Do we have the same time?

• 4:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, we were there, because we were doing auditions together.

• 4:26Bobby Lee?

  You, I remember that year, yeah. We did a lot of auditions together, I remember.

• 4:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:29Bobby Lee?

  Seeing you in the lobby.

• 4:29Speaker 05

  Us, Sam Pancake.

• 4:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Sam, who's Sam Pancake?

• 4:32Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 4:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam Pancake, it was just, I remember sitting in there, we weren't friends when we were auditioning. I just go, what's up, what's up, kind of a thing.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:42Speaker 05

  I think I would do, we, I remember running into you at Mad TV, and did you have to go after me? Was that this?

• 4:49Bobby Lee?

  You got an offer, right?

• 4:50Speaker 05

  I did.

• 4:51Bobby Lee?

  You didn't read?

• 4:52Speaker 05

  No, I had to, I, well, I'd done it before. I'd gone through it once.

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 05

  Early, when I first went to LA.

• 4:58Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 4:59Speaker 05

  And, uh, they wanted me on the show, and, or it seemed like they did, but then I got that WB deal. I took the Warner Brothers deal.

• 5:09Bobby Lee?

  The Hype.

• 5:09Speaker 05

  Hype.

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  So, so Shame on my roommate, Shame on my roommate.

• 5:14Speaker 05

  Shame was on a.

• 5:15Bobby Lee?

  Tosh, Tash.

• 5:16Speaker 05

  No, it's Tosh.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was on a show, sketch called Hype. I had no money, and I remember going to the Warner Brothers party. Remember the B-52s played, were you there?

• 5:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:25Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:26Speaker 05

  I said, yeah, at first, not remembering, but I do.

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 05

  Actually remember it now that you're, uh, once it processed.

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I remember going to a thrift store, getting an outfit, then going with Shame, I had no money, I had no future. And, um, and I went, oh, this is gonna be a hit, but it wasn't a hit.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  No, not even close. It was a show, they were totally into the show.

• 5:46Bobby Lee?

  That's Hype.

• 5:47Speaker 05

  And it was.

• 5:48Bobby Lee?

  There you are to the left.

• 5:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, look at that.

• 5:50Speaker 05

  Even thicker.

• 5:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Danielle Gayther. This is pre-Mad TV.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:53Bobby Lee?

  Pre-Mad TV.

• 5:54Speaker 05

  Pre-Mad.

• 5:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Where's Shame on there?

• 5:56Speaker 05

  Uh, she's down.

• 5:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, to the right.

• 5:58Speaker 05

  Danielle.

• 5:59Bobby Lee?

  Danielle, yeah, yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 05

  Uh, Kristin Nelson, Nadia Ginsberg.

• 6:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Nadia Ginsberg, yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  Uh, Chris, uh, Williams, Vanessa Williams' brother.

• 6:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, one black person. No, there's, is there a black, second black?

• 6:11Speaker 05

  I, I don't know.

• 6:12Bobby Lee?

  There's a second. There needs to be a second black. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  Um.

• 6:15Bobby Lee?

  Here's a better photo.

• 6:16Speaker 05

  Well, yeah.

• 6:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, there, oh, there, there we go, Hype. There you are, dude.

• 6:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, they dressed me.

• 6:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  And, uh, I haven't dressed that well, but my son got me this Kith jacket, so.

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  Ooh.

• 6:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, I, I, it's, he's given me, my son buys and sells stuff and all kinds of things, but he, he buys, always gets Kith stuff, so.

• 6:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:34Speaker 05

  He.

• 6:35Bobby Lee?

  So Jules, you don't know about this guy's talent.

• 6:37Speaker 05

  So, hold on, but hold on.

• 6:38Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 6:39Speaker 05

  So the WB hype, the show was, they were all in on it. And they turned the whole night into hype night on the WB. Three weeks later, it was the WB Sunday. So they canceled, we knew we were done. Because they took us away from being the important show of the night. And it went back to being like Steve Harvey and other stuff.

• 7:03Bobby Lee?

  Where's Chicken at? Chicken's far right. Yeah, so Chicken. Is that a white person? That guy right there.

• 7:11Speaker 05

  But he came up on the black comedy circuit.

• 7:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, his name is Chicken.

• 7:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And Chicken went to the Montreal Comedy Festival.

• 7:21Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 7:21Bobby Lee?

  Did his Chicken act. And then got the show, like, the show was revolved around him, right, Hype?

• 7:25Speaker 05

  Uh, him and me, but it was me first and then him. And then it was more him because they spent so much money on him. There was a brilliant move by, because they gave him a development deal. I had a development deal and he had a bigger development deal. And what happened, do you know what a development deal is? Where they?

• 7:43Bobby Lee?

  Don't talk down to my staff, Frank. Yes, they know what a fucking development deal is.

• 7:49Speaker 05

  I was talking to the.

• 7:51Bobby Lee?

  It was giving context.

• 7:52Speaker 05

  Robert.

• 7:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay, sorry.

• 7:55Speaker 05

  So.

• 7:56Bobby Lee?

  Frank, what's a development deal?

• 7:59Speaker 05

  They give you a bunch of money to hold you and maybe apply it toward the show.

• 8:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 05

  So.

• 8:04Bobby Lee?

  They don't give them out anymore.

• 8:06Speaker 05

  Not really. And I think it's because of Chicken. Because, no, it's really because he had, he was, he got so much hype. But they put him in a small room where very few people could see him. They put him in the 150-seat room or something. Instead of something really big. Well, everybody heard this guy was doing amazing. And he was full of energy and a lot of fun and great.

• 8:27Bobby Lee?

  Why did they call him Chicken?

• 8:28Speaker 05

  Uh, I think he did a chicken.

• 8:30Bobby Lee?

  A chicken dancer.

• 8:31Speaker 05

  I think he humped a chicken.

• 8:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:33Speaker 05

  So he ran around like a chicken with his head cut off.

• 8:35Bobby Lee?

  And then, you know what happened to him? They found his dead body in an apartment somewhere in North Carolina.

• 8:39Speaker 05

  I had nothing to do with it.

• 8:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, for real?

• 8:41Speaker 05

  Yes, yeah, it's very unfortunate. He struggled. But it was a genius marketing move because nobody, I just go past death.

• 10:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh shit!

• 10:48Speaker 07

  Yeah. I do it, this is how I do it so I don't get cancelled. You know what you're talking about here?

• 10:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:54Speaker 07

  Ah, you want me to play the piano? I'll do it for a second.

• 10:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 07

  Andrew Santino, who cares?

• 11:00Bobby Lee?

  I don't think he can do impressions that you know who the people are.

• 11:03Speaker 07

  Sure, Morgan Freeman. And that's when she realized he had some idea what was going on.

• 11:07Speaker 06

  Morgan Freeman from Shawshank.

• 11:09Speaker 07

  Shawshank.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  Gen Z, man.

• 11:13Speaker 07

  How old are you?

• 11:14Speaker 06

  Twenty-three.

• 11:15Speaker 07

  Twenty-three? That's too young to be on this show.

• 11:17Bobby Lee?

  So, what else could you do that he wouldn't know?

• 11:20Speaker 07

  Ah...

• 11:21Bobby Lee?

  De Niro?

• 11:22Speaker 07

  Ah, do you know Robert De Niro? Do you know who he is?

• 11:25Speaker 06

  Ooh.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  She's going, "Hey, who is that?"

• 11:29Speaker 08

  How about Donald Trump? Do you know Donald Trump? Have you ever heard of him?

• 11:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:32Speaker 08

  I love the Filipinos.

• 11:36Speaker 07

  I do quiet Trump.

• 11:37Speaker 08

  Library Trump, where it's very quiet. A lot of people do the loud Donald Trump, and they said, "I don't want to do that." "I don't want to do that. I don't want to sit here with Bobby Lee." And the twenty-three-year-old girl, she's a very nice girl. But I'm not sure if she's gonna get any of the references, and it's fine. Joe Biden didn't either. Joe Biden didn't get the references.

• 11:55Bobby Lee?

  Can you do Biden?

• 11:56Speaker 07

  Folks, my young man growing up in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Thirty-five, what are you... Come on, what are you doing here? Folks, my joke with him is, I've never seen a guy listen with his eyes. And they're like, "President Biden, what?

• 12:13Speaker 07

  What happened? Come on. Where are we going?

• 12:17Bobby Lee?

  It's so good.

• 12:18Speaker 07

  Sometime. So guys are, "You, man."

• 12:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, this big man growing up in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Kids, you know, it's true.

• 12:26Bobby Lee?

  It's true.

• 12:27Speaker 07

  I'm not joking around.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  Amazing, right?

• 12:28Speaker 06

  So good.

• 12:29Speaker 07

  And you go from voice to voice. It's kind of a Robin Williams thing. Who knew? Okay, your turn.

• 12:34Speaker 06

  No, not me. I don't do impressions.

• 12:36Speaker 07

  No, I was saying, were you asking a question? I thought you were still in school, is it that?

• 12:40Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's in college. Yeah, yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 07

  Well, that's what I thought you did. So why did you raise your hand?

• 12:45Speaker 06

  Because I have a question.

• 12:46Speaker 07

  Well, I said...

• 12:48Speaker 05

  Where do we have the disconnect? I love this show.

• 12:52Speaker 06

  I saw you on TikTok.

• 12:55Speaker 05

  On TikTok, yeah. Yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, him. And then you posted something about you loving Harry Styles. Can you do an impression of him?

• 13:01Speaker 05

  No, if I could, I would never stop. My daughter loves Harry. We've been to some Harry Styles.

• 13:04Speaker 06

  But do you love Harry?

• 13:06Speaker 05

  Uh, I liked the concert, yeah. It was fantastic. I mean, it's not for me.

• 13:09Speaker 06

  Why not?

• 13:10Speaker 05

  Um. It's great.

• 13:13Speaker 06

  Harry is just so.

• 13:14Speaker 05

  No, he's fantastic. He is an incredible. Did you meet him? Uh, no. Couldn't work that out. But he's with CAA, our agency, so. Yeah. Uh. I've never done that before, like called CAA. I always do. For my kids, not really for myself. And they do it? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, um. Wow. Do it for us. Oh, yeah. I know. I want to see Harry.

• 13:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, you make them more money than I do.

• 13:34Speaker 09

  Hey, Jules, what do you think Bobby could have gotten you to see Harry Styles?

• 13:37Speaker 05

  Yeah. And my, they sat near, like, his friends. Like, so they got good spots. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I was there. I, my daughter's been to, like, three or four, so I am a whore. I've, I've been to one, but I think one or two. But in Chicago, so it was fantastic. I mean, he's incredible. I mean, uh, but my son, we went to see, uh, I can't, it's so dumb, like, he's who, one of the biggest, he does a great Trump. It's a different Trump than mine. Shane Gillis? Shane. My, and I, Shane, I'd never talked to Shane Gillis before. Yeah. And, uh, I, I followed him, but, uh, I, he followed me back like a, a week or so ago. Yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 05

  And I'm like, my son went to go see you. He thinks you're way better than me at everything. And, uh, it was, it was, uh, no, my son loves, my, my son. Shane's fantastic. Very funny. I wish I, yeah, I mean. He has Down syndrome, I bet. Yeah. That's three of us.

• 14:32Speaker 05

  She included me. Yeah, you have it too. Included me. Well, I'm Joe Biden. That's what it is. Yeah. Um, but it was funny, because he replied, Shane replied right away, and it was, he, he just, uh, you're the man or something. And I could see him laughing through it. Yeah. Uh, like, it was just, it was like when. He's a good dude. Yeah, super nice. But, uh, but my son went to go see him in Phoenix, and I went through and got tickets. I mean, I paid for the tickets. You did? Yeah, yeah. I'll pay for it. Yeah, yeah. Did you get backstage and meet him? Uh, I didn't set that, that, that up, um. You, but here's the thing. Sometimes I try. Frank, Frank, Frank, okay? I don't make them. You've been, you've been out of LA for so long. I think you, here's what happened. Yeah. You've lost.

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  Your perception of yourself is a little skewed. You're so talented and you're a part of the business. You should be backstage.

• 15:20Speaker 05

  I'm fine. I'm fine. And listen, I don't-

• 15:21Bobby Lee?

  You don't listen to me, bro.

• 15:23Speaker 05

  What? Oh, he's trying to do impressions too.

• 15:25Bobby Lee?

  I do impressions too, eh, bro. I'm doing fucking Eastside Morales, bro.

• 15:30Speaker 05

  Oh, Eastside?

• 15:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Eh, dude. You know what I mean? I have a dream too, Richie.

• 15:35Speaker 05

  What is that? Mr. Miyagi?

• 15:37Bobby Lee?

  No, dude.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  It's like-

• 15:39Bobby Lee?

  I'm Eastside Morales, dude.

• 15:40Speaker 05

  Mr. Miyagi.

• 15:41Bobby Lee?

  I have a dream too, Richie. From La Bamba.

• 15:45Speaker 05

  That's fantastic.

• 15:46Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much.

• 15:47Speaker 05

  Parabalar, La Bamba.

• 15:49Bobby Lee?

  I'm La Bamba.

• 15:51Speaker 05

  Was that you?

• 15:52Bobby Lee?

  I'm doing Trump too.

• 15:54Speaker 05

  You're doing-

• 15:54Bobby Lee?

  I can do it too.

• 15:56Speaker 05

  What are you doing? What are you doing?

• 15:59Bobby Lee?

  Eh, billions and billions and billions.

• 16:02Speaker 05

  I can teach you to do Donald Trump.

• 16:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, teach me now.

• 16:05Speaker 05

  I got Shaq doing that. Shaquille O'Neal?

• 16:06Bobby Lee?

  Teach me now. You learn to.

• 16:08Speaker 05

  Shaq doing Trump-

• 16:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:10Speaker 05

  Was the one of the funny. I got Shaquille O'Neal. He's like, "That's luxurious. That's tremendous. That's amazing."

• 16:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 05

  So, what you're doing is you have too much voice in it, first of all.

• 16:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 16:21Speaker 05

  You got, you're in here. You're in here. You got this.

• 16:24Speaker 06

  I'm in here.

• 16:25Speaker 05

  You don't want to be in there.

• 16:25Bobby Lee?

  Okay, what do I want to do?

• 16:26Speaker 05

  Whisper.

• 16:29Speaker 05

  Now make a face. This is the joke from my act. Make a face like you're looking into an aquarium and mimicking the fish.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  And now, and now, now, say now.

• 16:40Speaker 06

  Now.

• 16:41Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 16:41Speaker 05

  Now.

• 16:41Bobby Lee?

  Now?

• 16:42Speaker 05

  Now. You got too much voice.

• 16:44Bobby Lee?

  Now?

• 16:44Speaker 05

  Now? Tremendous. You're getting better. Look at that. None of us thought you could.

• 16:49Speaker 06

  No.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  You look like a Filipino immigrant.

• 16:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, is this English as your second language? Was it, that's- That's good. Great. That's tremendous.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 17:02Speaker 05

  Tremendous. Tremendous.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  I'm gonna get it. Nat, you're doing well.

• 17:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very good.

• 17:07Speaker 05

  Well, see how the tongue comes out? Well.

• 17:10Speaker 06

  Well.

• 17:13Speaker 05

  Well.

• 17:14Speaker 06

  Why do you have to do that?

• 17:15Speaker 05

  Well, because you're, you're pulling a string. You're pulling a string. It's, you're pulling, you're pulling-

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  I almost got it.

• 17:22Speaker 05

  You're pulling a string. You're doing something back like you ate a lemon.

• 17:26Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait.

• 17:27Speaker 05

  I just ate a lemon. I just ate a lemon. Put it, okay, let's see how we can do it. You put it toward the front. You put it toward the front. You put it toward the front.

• 17:42Speaker 05

  Well, that's better. That's it. That's you're getting it. Not really, but.

• 17:47Bobby Lee?

  You know, as a teacher, you should be more supportive. Not really is not good.

• 17:51Speaker 05

  Well, I didn't know you could hear that. I just, I thought, I talked to the guys and told them, hey, turn off the mic and I have a dig.

• 17:57Bobby Lee?

  Give me a line.

• 17:58Speaker 05

  So turn your head slightly.

• 18:00Speaker 08

  Not really.

• 18:00Speaker 05

  But your, your, your lips are going down, not out. There you go. There you go.

• 18:05Speaker 08

  Not really.

• 18:05Speaker 05

  That's better.

• 18:06Speaker 08

  Not really.

• 18:07Speaker 05

  Not.

• 18:08Speaker 08

  Not.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  Not.

• 18:10Speaker 08

  Really.

• 18:10Speaker 05

  Not really.

• 18:11Speaker 08

  Tremendous.

• 18:12Speaker 05

  Not really tremendous. So work on just one word. Tremendous.

• 18:15Speaker 08

  Tremendous.

• 18:16Speaker 05

  Tremendous.

• 18:16Speaker 08

  Tremendous.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  Tremendous.

• 18:19Speaker 08

  Tremendous.

• 18:20Speaker 05

  Better. That's better. That's getting better.

• 18:22Speaker 08

  It's getting better.

• 18:23Bobby Lee?

  No, it's Asian. The Asian comes out.

• 18:26Speaker 08

  It's not getting a better. It's getting a better.

• 18:28Bobby Lee?

  I'm going into Kim Jong-un now.

• 18:31Speaker 05

  I wish, but that was something what we, we never did it, but we would play ping pong. We played table tennis.

• 18:36Bobby Lee?

  So we were on Mad TV.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  So we both got it.

• 18:44Bobby Lee?

  Zocdoc.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Zocdoc!

• 18:47Bobby Lee?

  Zocdoc for your health. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Like, why wouldn't you do that? We, I mean, we do that with, like, restaurants and stuff, right? Why, why, we should do that with our health. Read reviews.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  Like, in this episode, we talk about the time when you were coughing up.

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  And you needed a doctor.

• 19:10Bobby Lee?

  You, yeah, you could, you go to Zocdoc.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  And you needed a great pulmonologist.

• 19:13Bobby Lee?

  Pulmonologist.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  And you find one on Zocdoc. That's peer-reviewed.

• 19:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  And you pooped yourself.

• 19:18Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, with Zocdoc, you can book in-network, in-network doctors with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and more.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  And if you're worried about your insurance, what I love about Zocdoc is that you can filter for doctors who take your specific insurance, who are located nearby and who are a good fit for any medical need you may have and are highly rated by verified patients. Like gynecologists.

• 19:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 00

  Guys, stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com/belly to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash belly. zocdoc dot com slash belly.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Monarch Money. Monarch Money.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Finances are a tricky thing.

• 20:06Bobby Lee?

  It's very, the trickiest of all tricks.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  Especially if you don't have a lot of them. And even if you do have a lot, you can be really, really ineffective at handling it. And I know that for me in the past, when I haven't used Monarch, I've left money on the table.

• 20:20Bobby Lee?

  Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch. An all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or your phone.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 20:35Bobby Lee?

  And right now, just for our listeners, Monarch is offering 50% of your first year with code TIGERBELLY at monarch.com. Monarch gives your partner full access to your shared dashboard, including linked accounts, budgets, goals, and spending activity, all in one place and at no extra cost.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  So basically, Monarch links all of your accounts in minutes and you get clear data, visuals, smart categorization of your spending, real control over your money. And what Bobby was saying is like, one of the biggest reasons people fight or break up is money issues, right? And that's something that's a very sensitive topic for a lot of people, but I think Monarch Money makes it so that, you know, no one's in the dark. All the information is available for you and your partner.

• 21:19Bobby Lee?

  That's so good. My baby saves a lot of marriages.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:22Bobby Lee?

  No more guessing, guys. No more hiding, no more... I didn't realize we spent that much.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  And one of the things I love too is that I can give access to Roger, my stepdad, who is my financial advisor. So when I just, I'm not paying attention to things, he can be like, "Hey, Khalyla, like, this is what's going on." And I'm like, "Okay, thanks, Rog."

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks. Use code TIGERBELLY at monarch.com in your browser for half off, for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code TIGERBELLY.

• 21:53Speaker 10

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• 22:33Speaker 05

  We play table tennis.

• 22:35Bobby Lee?

  So we're on Mad TV.

• 22:37Speaker 05

  So we both got it.

• 22:37Bobby Lee?

  Let me see. There we are.

• 22:39Speaker 05

  Is that me?

• 22:40Bobby Lee?

  That's you. You've lost a lot of weight.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  What the heck is that?

• 22:43Bobby Lee?

  That's you, dude.

• 22:45Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 22:45Bobby Lee?

  Is that you? That is you. How old were you guys there?

• 22:48Speaker 05

  Seventy.

• 22:49Bobby Lee?

  No, I was probably thirty-one, fifty-four almost.

• 22:54Speaker 05

  Fifty-one.

• 22:55Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 22:56Speaker 05

  So you are.

• 22:57Bobby Lee?

  You're in your late twenties probably there.

• 22:59Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah.

• 23:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 05

  I was probably around 2001, 2002, somewhere in there. So, uh, yeah.

• 23:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there, oh, that's you and I. Yeah. Wow.

• 23:10Speaker 05

  I don't remember what that is.

• 23:11Bobby Lee?

  I don't either. It's you and I.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  That was you.

• 23:16Bobby Lee?

  That was Bobby Trendy.

• 23:17Speaker 05

  Oh, that's me.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  That's you.

• 23:18Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. That was the, uh, what's her name? Uh, uh.

• 23:23Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 23:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, when she married the old guy. Anna Nicole Smith, I was Kimmy.

• 23:28Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 05

  That's the one everybody talked about.

• 23:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay, that sketch is probably the best sketch you and I did together, I think.

• 23:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, maybe the only real one.

• 23:34Bobby Lee?

  That's the real, real sketch you and I.

• 23:36Speaker 05

  And everybody asked me if you were Fred or friend.

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:39Speaker 05

  It's simple, Fred. And it was Fred.

• 23:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. We should watch it.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'll look for it.

• 23:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But, um, so that's your main impression, right, John Madden?

• 23:49Speaker 05

  That was, yeah.

• 23:50Bobby Lee?

  So I want to learn how to do John Madden. I know it's more difficult. I nailed Trump.

• 23:53Speaker 05

  You crushed it.

• 23:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, so let's.

• 23:54Speaker 05

  A lot of people are talking about how good.

• 23:56Bobby Lee?

  Explain to Jules who John. Yeah, so John Madden was a football commentator for the NFL.

• 24:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, an announcer. Was an NFL coach.

• 24:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:04Speaker 05

  And then became one of the most, um, known broadcasters ever. And he has a video game. If you ever hear people talk about Madden the video game.

• 24:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Madden football.

• 24:14Speaker 05

  It's a football video.

• 24:15Bobby Lee?

  Are you, what's going on with you right now? Shutting down?

• 24:17Speaker 06

  I'm just confused.

• 24:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 24:19Speaker 05

  Do we need to do something? We need to go back. Is there somebody, you want me to do some Robert Downey Jr., which is basically just burping through the punchlines?

• 24:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god. So good.

• 24:28Speaker 05

  So, uh, I guess, uh, we're gonna do some different improvisation here.

• 24:35Bobby Lee?

  That's great. Yeah, that's right.

• 24:36Speaker 05

  If you count, it's one, two, burp, three, four, five, six, seven. I do that with.

• 24:40Bobby Lee?

  Matthew McConaughey.

• 24:41Speaker 05

  I believe that's a shorter thing. Uh, let me get, let me get, I, I've been talking all day.

• 24:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 05

  I believe that's what you're looking for. That's somewhere in there.

• 24:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 05

  But Matthew McConaughey, I'm trying to think of some people you know. Um, uh, SpongeBob? No.

• 24:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so let's start with John. Do John Madden. I'm gonna see if I can do it.

• 25:00Speaker 07

  Hey, okay, so it's, you got, you have to, the thing is, you have to talk like you're, you've got a, like, almost a ball in your mouth.

• 25:10Speaker 05

  Or that's, oh, I didn't think that was gonna be close, but there is something in there.

• 25:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 25:14Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:16Speaker 07

  See, yeah.

• 25:17Bobby Lee?

  Do the whole thing.

• 25:18Speaker 07

  Hey folks, John Madden.

• 25:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do thirty seconds of John Madden and then, so I can get the tone here.

• 25:22Speaker 07

  Yeah, and then you're talking, you say the things that a person's gonna say and you do the things that that person's gonna do and I mean, I mean, you know, I mean, you, and there, and boom, there you go.

• 25:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's him. Yeah, yeah. That's incredible. You, you say the things, you say the things that you're trying to do. Boom. Boop, sucka, laka.

• 25:42Speaker 05

  You actually.

• 25:44Speaker 05

  You have. You actually had something in there that's, that's right. And you're, I don't know what you're doing, where you're doing this.

• 25:50Bobby Lee?

  The way I do it.

• 25:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it's, alright, so this is the thing I was doing, I was breaking.

• 25:54Bobby Lee?

  Get in the trunk, Chinaman. I mean, that's, you know.

• 25:58Bobby Lee?

  Tourette's? Yeah, yeah, I don't know, it's just like a fantasy I have, you know what I mean? Oh, fantasy. Get in the trunk, Chinaman, you know, but anyway, um. Go ahead, Frank. I'm sorry, Frank. Say that same line?

• 26:10Speaker 05

  As Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As Liam Neeson. Um, I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. Ooh. Do you know that one? She does. Wow. Apparently, this impression's been taken. Look at that bit. Um, but so they, I, uh, this is something I do with a lot of people. I just, it's, in terms of the impressions, if you want to work on them, which I know you don't really want to, but you think it's, uh, interesting to the audience enough to do right now, there's Kermit the Frog. Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here. So that's up in here, okay? It's up in this.

• 26:39Bobby Lee?

  Hi-ho.

• 26:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, kind of.

• 26:41Bobby Lee?

  Hi-ho.

• 26:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:43Bobby Lee?

  Kermit the Frog here.

• 26:44Speaker 05

  What happens to your enunciations? Everything goes so Asian.

• 26:46Bobby Lee?

  No, be, I think what you, what, I think what's happening now is you're looking at my Asian face and the thing that's coming in my mouth, uh, that's influencing.

• 26:54Speaker 05

  I honestly.

• 26:55Bobby Lee?

  Yes, it's influencing the how you perceive it.

• 26:57Speaker 05

  I honestly didn't.

• 26:58Bobby Lee?

  And I don't, I don't like it, right?

• 26:59Speaker 05

  I didn't even know you were Asian.

• 27:00Bobby Lee?

  Hey, folks.

• 27:01Speaker 05

  That's not bad. That's actually like.

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  Hey, folks. Kermit the, what is his name?

• 27:05Speaker 05

  You were, you were supposed to be doing Madden.

• 27:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  You were doing, you thought you were doing Kermit the Frog. You were doing a decent Madden. So, okay, so let me explain this. I do this, everybody's, a lot of people have seen it, maybe not your audience. So there's, there's Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear. Ah, waka, waka, waka, which is Bert, oh Bert, Ernie, okay? So if you take Kermit the Frog, hi-ho, Kermit the Frog, you bring it down a little bit, it becomes John C. Reilly. Did you touch my drum set? Now you add some air and it's Mark Ruffalo. If you go from here to Mark Ruffalo, I, I see this as an absolute win. Damn. Wow. Now, now what you do is you bring it down even more and it becomes Paul Giamatti. I believe that is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my entire life. Now, if you bring it back up, it's Seth Rogen. Uh, I don't know. And that's, or, you know, remember Bert and Ernie? Bert had that laugh.

• 27:52Speaker 05

  If you slow it down, it's, which is Seth Rogen. Now, if you tighten it up, it's Joe Rogan. Wow, Jamie, pull that up. Oh, my God. So. Wow. Those are all in the same family.

• 28:04Bobby Lee?

  So now, look, now, you see the talent that he has, right? And then you look at my talent, and we got cast on the same show.

• 28:13Bobby Lee?

  How is that even fucking possible?

• 28:17Speaker 05

  What's amazing is... They didn't-

• 28:20Bobby Lee?

  We're on this, we got hired at the same time.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  The funny thing is, they didn't know what to do with either one of us.

• 28:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  They weren't exact, like, they kinda thought they did, you-

• 28:29Bobby Lee?

  Alright, let's watch this first.

• 28:32Speaker 07

  Hey folks, John Madden here for the quick pop popcorn popper. Hey John, how's it work? It's simple Fred, you just plug it in.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  Look at you.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Nice line, Bob.

• 28:40Speaker 07

  Open up the butter packet.

• 28:45Speaker 07

  I screwed up guys, I'm sorry, but the packet won't open.

• 28:49Bobby Lee?

  That's the sketch.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  Solid sketch.

• 28:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, I want to talk about how bad, so Frank was there the first year, remember I told you how terrible I was at table reads? I was super nervous?

• 29:01Speaker 00

  Aries Spears hated him.

• 29:02Speaker 05

  No matter what he says, he was worse than that.

• 29:07Speaker 05

  Now, I'm gonna be-

• 29:08Bobby Lee?

  I told you!

• 29:09Speaker 05

  I'm gonna be honest with you.

• 29:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:10Speaker 05

  I was not great myself, I was, I started, because you get to Mad TV, and you don't realize how good of actors and actresses everybody is.

• 29:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:20Speaker 05

  If you, you're seeing-

• 29:21Bobby Lee?

  The highest of level public.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  Mo Collins, Michael McDonald, Will Sasso, you're around, and these, they've been there for a couple of years, and they're better trained, and they're just really incredibly good.

• 29:33Bobby Lee?

  Good.

• 29:34Speaker 05

  And we came from stand-up.

• 29:35Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 29:36Speaker 05

  Um, one of us had an act, and-

• 29:41Speaker 05

  No, we came from stand-up, so we, we knew kind of funny, and we knew how to be funny with an audience, and play out to an audience, and talk at people.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  That season when we first got hired.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  But, and Deborah Wilson, Aries Spears is one of the funniest, most talented people I've ever met, and here's an amazing thing about Aries, Aries would always call me, before he was selling as many tickets as he is now, and he's like, "Yo Frank, how can, how you sell so many tickets, man?" I was like, "Well, I get up at 6:00 in the morning-"

• 30:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:10Speaker 05

  "-and go do radio," is it any other way? No, that's just how you have to do it, and now, but, one of the most, one of the most talented mimics, a great character guy, Aries is a genius. Um, but everybody who was on the show, and had been there, whenever the new people come in, everybody's kinda like, "Nah, I don't know." Now, they weren't doing it- Out of spite or anything like that, they just kind of be like, we've been through this. And when you don't have the acting chops, it shows and neither of us had that. I could, I had the ability though to read. And

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  I could, okay.

• 30:48Speaker 05

  You really struck, but I, I remember everybody would look around and this is honest, you know this because I think I've heard you. But you, I'm not telling you anything new, so I'm not hurting your feelings.

• 30:58Speaker 05

  But you would, it would be your turn to talk. You'd miss the timing of it. You might not be on the right page.

• 31:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 05

  Or have the script open at all. Uh, if you even showed up.

• 31:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:10Speaker 05

  And everybody was just kind of like, oh my God. And nobody knew what to do.

• 31:14Bobby Lee?

  On, I mean, you couldn't understand a word I was saying.

• 31:19Speaker 05

  No.

• 31:20Bobby Lee?

  I was rushing it, I was super nervous.

• 31:23Speaker 05

  Everybody cringed, like the entire, the writers who wrote for you, which I.

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God, trauma.

• 31:28Speaker 05

  Listen, but here's the thing, it, I mean, you're, I've seen you in stuff and you're good now, so they believe. They believed in you there, they're, they saw the talent. If there's one thing I'm going to say about that is a lot of times, like you hear when they, they did Seinfeld, that when the beginning of Seinfeld, the first season was not very, Seinfeld is a sitcom.

• 31:48Speaker 05

  But when, you know, the, a lot of shows don't get the season, a lot of actors don't get the chance. But they kept, I mean, they couldn't give you lines, but what they could do was cut away from somebody who delivered a good line. And you would just look either clueless or make a face or smile and it would get a huge laugh. I mean, it was unbelievable, the laughs you would get just on a cutaway and they're like, let's not write anything for him. Let's just use him as a visual punchline.

• 32:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:17Speaker 05

  And I remember the chat rooms, they're.

• 32:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God, oh my God.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  People say, and you never should have looked at that because it was just.

• 32:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 05

  I'd never seen.

• 32:25Bobby Lee?

  I would, uh, so there was this thing called Planet Mad TV. This is the first years of the internet.

• 32:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:31Bobby Lee?

  And there's, and there's these forums and there was these gigantic chunks of how bad I am.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  Not, and just terrible, but there was terrible Asian hate. I, I, I mean, I mean, it was really.

• 32:44Bobby Lee?

  Really bad.

• 32:44Speaker 05

  Angry.

• 32:45Bobby Lee?

  Angry Asian hate.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  Pete, like I, I'm not even one that. Listen, that was real, and, because everybody was so anonymous on it, I think.

• 32:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:54Speaker 05

  And, it was, I, I, I don't even know what it wa- it was just horrific.

• 32:58Bobby Lee?

  Horrific.

• 32:58Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 32:59Bobby Lee?

  And here, you know, I don't know about, you know about this, but.

• 33:02Speaker 05

  Was you writing that stuff?

• 33:03Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 33:04Speaker 05

  Self hate?

• 33:04Bobby Lee?

  This broke, this broke my heart the worst, okay? Is, the end of the year, that first year, I found out that they had, they had been recording my table reads. And they made a compilation tape of how bad I was, and they would pass it around the office, and they would laugh behind my back. And I found the tape, and, I mean, I relapsed, you know, remember, I relapsed.

• 33:29Speaker 05

  But you had to go through that to get to where you are today, and it worked.

• 33:32Bobby Lee?

  Shut up! Why did I have to go through all?

• 33:34Speaker 05

  Tough love, tough love, tough love.

• 33:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 05

  Tough love, it's important.

• 33:37Bobby Lee?

  How did I survive?

• 33:38Speaker 05

  What were you thinking? What is your problem?

• 33:40Bobby Lee?

  How did I survive eight years?

• 33:43Speaker 05

  I don't know, why, I don't know why.

• 33:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I don't know how.

• 33:45Speaker 05

  I don't even know, I remember they had, they wrote other characters, the, uh, what was the stereotypical Asian?

• 33:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, uh, average Asian.

• 33:53Speaker 05

  Average Asian.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  That was pretty good.

• 33:55Speaker 05

  It was a good sketch.

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 05

  It was somebody else's sketch from like, they, they imported sketches from the groundlings to try and find something for me.

• 34:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they really tried.

• 34:05Speaker 05

  It worked pretty well.

• 34:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:06Speaker 05

  But, it was, they didn't know what to do with you at first, um, and, it, it, listen, we didn't, uh, me too, they, all they wanted me to do was that one John Madden. So I got pigeonholed into that kind of, I, I did a sketch that Rich Talarico wrote for me, great writer.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  Taller guy.

• 34:22Speaker 05

  Fantastic guy, fantastic, incredibly talented, but he wrote this physical trainer sketch, you saw how fat I was there. So, it was, it was a, I was a fat physical trainer who just didn't understand that I was fat, like I'd drop a towel and I wouldn't even bend to pick it up. I would just try and pick it up with my feet.

• 34:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:38Speaker 05

  I wouldn't, the elevator was broken, so I couldn't train somebody that day, because the, uh, the gym was on the second floor. So it was like a really well funny written sketch, it got laughs at the table read, never got a chance to get to air, because all they wanted me to do was John Madden, and then later George Bush. But I got the Bush stuff, and they didn't want me to be George Bush, because I was too fat to be George Bush, but it was like. On a sketch show? Yeah, yeah, man, I just, uh, but I, I made my way through it.

• 35:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 05

  You know, Hakuna Matata.

• 35:07Speaker 05

  So I eventually got that job because there was nobody, Will Ferrell did, you know, Bush's Saturday Night Live, but nobody had nailed a George W. Bush impression at that point. And they went through Ike Barinholtz, they tried Will.

• 35:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 05

  Uh, Sasso, they tried, uh, everybody, I think you, they went to everybody except for me.

• 35:23Bobby Lee?

  I did Jomacane.

• 35:24Speaker 05

  Uh, you did.

• 35:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:26Speaker 05

  We would, we would play ping table tennis to go back and I.

• 35:29Bobby Lee?

  We had some brutal.

• 35:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I'm way better now, which is the thing. I've, I've trained in China.

• 35:34Bobby Lee?

  You were good then.

• 35:35Speaker 05

  I'm way better than.

• 35:36Bobby Lee?

  You are?

• 35:37Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:37Bobby Lee?

  Was, was your dad a grandmaster?

• 35:39Speaker 05

  No.

• 35:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 35:40Speaker 05

  That sounds really.

• 35:42Bobby Lee?

  I, I think I made it. I've said on many podcasts, Frank Caliendo's father was a grandmaster.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  I could crush him now.

• 35:48Bobby Lee?

  But your dad was good, right?

• 35:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I used to think so until I got trained by an Olympian. So.

• 35:53Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 35:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:54Bobby Lee?

  Dude, his spins, dude, because I, so he lives in Phoenix. I remember the last time, 10 years ago, I went to your house. And we played, we played in the garage.

• 36:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:02Bobby Lee?

  And I knew at that point that you had elevated to a point where I could not play you.

• 36:06Speaker 05

  That's when Bobby knew that the white guy was gonna beat the Asian guy.

• 36:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he, his spins, your serves were un, un, un-retrievable.

• 36:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I knew what to do and I was using like more expensive paddle and it was.

• 36:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I need a flat paddle.

• 36:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, you know, you would, you would still get crushed, but.

• 36:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 05

  It was.

• 36:26Bobby Lee?

  But, but, no, but stop, stop. At Mad TV though, we were even.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  Very close. Yeah, yeah.

• 36:31Bobby Lee?

  We had some brutal.

• 36:33Speaker 05

  You beat me quite a bit.

• 36:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I said, there we go. What, can we just throw that out there? He evolved. I don't have a table.

• 36:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:38Bobby Lee?

  If I train, maybe, maybe, who knows?

• 36:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, I kept playing. You got a giant podcast.

• 36:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, you know, maybe I'm gonna get a table. Okay, anyway.

• 36:46Speaker 05

  Listen, you get too good, you never get on Magnum P.I.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Uh, so, uh, so, yeah, that's my fun. I mean, that's the thing where I just like to get away and play table tennis.

• 36:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you. Can I?

• 37:00Speaker 05

  I worked as hard.

• 37:01Bobby Lee?

  Let's get, let's get real for a second.

• 37:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:04Bobby Lee?

  Can we get real for a second? You moved too soon.

• 37:08Speaker 05

  Oh, out of LA?

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:11Bobby Lee?

  You moved out of LA too soon. I don't know why you did that.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  Cause I didn't want to have a, I just didn't have any interest.

• 37:17Bobby Lee?

  What, what, I mean, you don't want to be in film and television? What's the?

• 37:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I mean, yes, but at the same time, I just didn't want to be in this mix with my kids and stuff.

• 37:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right.

• 37:27Speaker 05

  You know.

• 37:28Bobby Lee?

  You made a choice.

• 37:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I, I had, I had children, uh, with my wife.

• 37:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I love her, damn.

• 37:34Speaker 05

  Um, I mean, Bobby, the first time he came to my house in Bronson Canyon.

• 37:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:39Speaker 05

  This is, I, I, I mean, this is you saying it, not me. We had two little dogs. He goes, mm, lunch.

• 37:47Speaker 05

  That's so, I think Bobby's done that for everybody, apparently.

• 37:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 05

  But I was like, you can't say that. He's like, I just did. Or, I just did.

• 37:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 05

  Frankie.

• 37:57Speaker 05

  So, uh, but my wife, it's so funny, cause, uh.

• 37:59Bobby Lee?

  Michelle, I love her.

• 38:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, and she's very honest. Like, she, she, she told me, this is what she said to me about you. She goes, tell him he looks clean. I'm like, what is that?

• 38:10Bobby Lee?

  Cause I used to be dirty, I used to be really dirty.

• 38:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, I, I thought you mean like, he's not on drugs? No, no, no, it looks like he's bathed.

• 38:16Bobby Lee?

  I know. My vibe.

• 38:17Speaker 05

  If I had her honesty.

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 05

  I might have a chance at being Shane Gillis.

• 38:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  But it's just that, I mean, her honesty, she doesn't give a rip. And, cause she doesn't have corporate dates.

• 38:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:27Speaker 05

  And that she has to stay, uh, in the mainstream for, so, uh, her honesty is just.

• 38:32Bobby Lee?

  She's always been nice to her.

• 38:33Speaker 05

  And, and very, very, she's very funny in that way, where she'll just say stuff she believes.

• 38:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 05

  Um.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  But I, I want everyone in the room to know, that Bobby Lee, you think, you, you think, the Bobby Lee that from 25 years ago? I was a dirty fucker. You mean, you know, I was dirty, didn't know how to read. You know what I mean? I was super nervous. You know, I was like in pins, the first two, three years of Mad were the worst years of my life.

• 39:01Speaker 05

  I could see that.

• 39:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Until the day I, I filmed something on my own, which is, I got a video camera and I filmed that 24 with Bobby Lee.

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 39:12Bobby Lee?

  And I did it in my own, I filmed it on my own.

• 39:15Speaker 05

  I remember that.

• 39:15Bobby Lee?

  I presented it at the table read and they, they picked it up. You know what I mean? They go, we're gonna do this. But it's like. Then I found kind of my own lane, you know what I mean, to play myself mainly. Patrick Keen, right here dude, is one of the, I started with him. Right, what's your year to start?

• 39:29Speaker 09

  I started 2000.

• 39:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I started a little younger, 95, but when I was at the store, I remember you were around.

• 39:36Speaker 09

  Yeah, and that, those were cold.

• 39:38Bobby Lee?

  You look like a serial killer now. What happened to your face? Did I get droopy? What happened?

• 39:41Speaker 09

  No, I just, I aged, I guess, I, uh...

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, your eyes aged or something.

• 39:45Speaker 09

  Yeah. It's been 20 years since you've seen him.

• 39:48Bobby Lee?

  You have the biggest teeth I've ever seen in my life. What's going on?

• 39:50Speaker 09

  Uh, yeah, no, um, hold on, open them up, it's Stonehenge, look.

• 39:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Stonehenge, look at that. Holy shit. Funny guy, though.

• 39:58Speaker 09

  I'll tell you.

• 40:00Speaker 09

  You brought him on camera, so just...

• 40:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, is he on camera or no?

• 40:03Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 40:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, good.

• 40:04Speaker 09

  Kind of mean, though, Bob.

• 40:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. You're handsome, but in a weird way.

• 40:07Speaker 09

  There's a weird, it's a poor man's, uh, I don't know what, Mark Ruffalo, I don't know.

• 40:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:13Speaker 09

  I don't know what people...

• 40:13Bobby Lee?

  But you're a funny guy.

• 40:14Speaker 09

  Thanks, man, no, I'll take that. I went for you once, we did San Jose together.

• 40:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah?

• 40:19Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 40:19Bobby Lee?

  How did that go?

• 40:20Speaker 09

  It was great, it was, it was great, I can't say some of the stuff, but, uh...

• 40:24Bobby Lee?

  Say...

• 40:25Speaker 09

  Well, no, it's funny, because you're like, hey, man, I know your dad just died, we'll talk about it on the way up, and, uh, we never talked about it.

• 40:32Bobby Lee?

  Did we drive?

• 40:33Speaker 09

  Uh, yeah, we drove.

• 40:34Bobby Lee?

  We drove, oh, back in the, back when I had to drive.

• 40:37Speaker 05

  Man, there is something, you don't remember anything, anywhere.

• 40:40Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  Good.

• 40:41Bobby Lee?

  I don't think about it.

• 40:41Speaker 09

  You had a Mohawk at the time, so...

• 40:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that was a long time ago. Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm not used to the Mohawk. Was it, the room was packed? I don't remember it being.

• 40:48Speaker 09

  Room, room was packed, Shang Wang, you and me, I think.

• 40:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Shang Wang, you and me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 09

  And I think Kevin Christie, maybe? Would he have been with us?

• 40:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, maybe Kevin was there.

• 40:57Speaker 05

  Why were there that many people? Did you only have 30 minutes?

• 40:59Bobby Lee?

  I can only do 30 minutes now.

• 41:00Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, it's good 30 minutes.

• 41:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You sell corn by the road? You remember that bit?

• 41:06Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 41:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:07Speaker 09

  I never understood the accent, though. I didn't, I've never heard that accent from, is that a Korean accent?

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  The Irish accent you're doing now?

• 41:14Speaker 09

  No, no, the one you did, that I'm not getting cancelled with.

• 41:16Bobby Lee?

  Uh, uh, uh, you did the one?

• 41:18Speaker 09

  No, it was just, it was like, corn by the road, doo.

• 41:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 09

  Oh, that's funny.

• 41:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 09

  Is that, is that...

• 41:24Bobby Lee?

  Well, back, here's the thing, back then, um, I really didn't know how to do it. So, he... Wait, wait, is my, let me ask you something, is my dad's accent now more authentic, or no?

• 41:34Speaker 09

  I mean, to your father.

• 41:35Bobby Lee?

  I know, but does it sound Asian?

• 41:37Speaker 09

  Sounds more Korean.

• 41:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 41:38Speaker 05

  Sounds almost Theo Vonish.

• 41:41Bobby Lee?

  So I'm trying to, yeah, I mean, it's, I think it's pretty often.

• 41:43Speaker 05

  Did Theo nail it better than you?

• 41:45Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  Bubby.

• 41:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, he does, he does a good, a good one.

• 41:49Speaker 05

  Very funny.

• 41:49Bobby Lee?

  So Patrick, you, you still doing stand up?

• 41:51Speaker 09

  Yeah, still doing stand up, but working with Frank a little bit, a little bit Steve Byrne, a little bit of, uh, uh, yeah, a little bit of

• 41:57Bobby Lee?

  Spade.

• 41:57Speaker 09

  A little bit Swartson, Nick Swartson's been taking me again.

• 42:00Bobby Lee?

  Good, good.

• 42:00Speaker 09

  Yeah, it's been great.

• 42:01Bobby Lee?

  David Spade, you may have heard of him? Yeah.

• 42:03Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 42:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 09

  You were great on, on theirs. I heard that one with you and Carvey and Spade. That was really good.

• 42:08Bobby Lee?

  Very good. Thank you.

• 42:09Speaker 09

  But, uh.

• 42:09Bobby Lee?

  Thank you for that compliment. That's insane. Yeah, I've done a lot, you know what I mean?

• 42:14Speaker 09

  Yeah, yeah, no, I.

• 42:15Bobby Lee?

  That's the thing.

• 42:15Speaker 09

  Well, you're great.

• 42:16Bobby Lee?

  That's the thing.

• 42:17Speaker 09

  You're great in everything. That's just most recent, but.

• 42:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, no, thank you so much.

• 42:20Speaker 09

  But you know, in that San Jose trip, it was funny because you had done room service and you shoved the cart, I was telling Frank earlier, you shoved the cart out in the hall and you locked yourself out of your room and you were in tighty whities.

• 42:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's right.

• 42:31Speaker 09

  You were in tighty whities. You had the mohawk, the tighty whities.

• 42:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:34Speaker 09

  Running down the hall.

• 42:35Bobby Lee?

  That was a disturb, I remember that night.

• 42:36Speaker 05

  You were Mr. Teabag.

• 42:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Because when you lock it and you're in your tighty whities, you know what I mean? There's no phone. You have to go down to the lobby in your underwear and go, hey, I locked myself out. It's really weird.

• 42:49Speaker 09

  Yeah, I mean, boxers would be one thing, but like, tighty whities.

• 42:51Bobby Lee?

  I still do tighty whities and you know what?

• 42:53Speaker 05

  Wait a second, you do that on stage? I mean, what are you talking about in a hotel? I mean, that's half your act. That's 15 of the 30 minutes.

• 43:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do, I do.

• 43:02Speaker 05

  And you could, but in the hotel, uh, hallway, you felt awkward in front of everybody staring at you.

• 43:09Bobby Lee?

  It's different because in the context of a show, it's sort of like, it's a Bobby Lee show. When you have randos going, you know what I mean? Oh, we're here for a wedding. It's weird.

• 43:18Speaker 05

  There are some people that are just showing up to the club. They don't know who's going at that time. Now they come to see you, but at that time.

• 43:23Bobby Lee?

  At the time, Nate, you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. Yeah, now they're coming, yeah. That was tough because when you were doing the road and people were like, let's just watch comedy. Who's there this weekend? Those fans, I would get refunds. Like groups of people like, I'm, I don't know why we paid.

• 43:40Speaker 05

  I don't know. We went to see you. My, I very rarely go to see comedy and Michelle and I went to see you in Cleveland at Hilarities.

• 43:46Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 43:47Speaker 05

  And it was fairly good. It was like, oh. No, you were great.

• 43:51Bobby Lee?

  Why can't you give compliments?

• 43:52Speaker 05

  I just did afterwards.

• 43:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said fairly good.

• 43:55Speaker 05

  And then I went, and then I go.

• 43:56Bobby Lee?

  Why are you like that still?

• 43:57Speaker 05

  I wanted the laugh.

• 43:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You've been like that from the beginning. Why are you like that now? You know what I mean? Things have changed. I'm sorry, you're right.

• 44:06Speaker 05

  You don't do this, you don't do this to anybody else.

• 44:08Bobby Lee?

  I know, because I've known you the longest.

• 44:10Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 44:11Bobby Lee?

  I've probably known you the longest.

• 44:12Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 44:13Bobby Lee?

  Than we, in terms of guests. Except from like, air, because we just had the yearly, uh, what, the 500th, we had Deborah, um, Mo and, uh, Aries on, but I, that was like my first comedy family, pretty much.

• 44:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 06

  Were you guys best friends, or were you?

• 44:29Bobby Lee?

  Nah, we were friends though. What's wrong? Gonna yell at you?

• 44:34Speaker 05

  I'm done.

• 44:35Bobby Lee?

  No, you're not done. Grow the fuck up. You almost got there, let him get there. I was trying, I was trying to get, I was trying to get to the cry. Can you, can you?

• 44:43Speaker 05

  Uh. Let me just think back to bad TV more.

• 44:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:49Speaker 05

  Um.

• 44:50Bobby Lee?

  So you wanna do, you wanna get back into maybe doing bit parts in movies?

• 44:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'd like to do, I mean, I think that's, that's what I'd like to do. I, I do what I, I'm happy about doing most of the time, but in terms of acting, I, I watch it and I go, uh.

• 45:04Bobby Lee?

  You're a good actor though, dude. I saw you in a movie, it was a movie or something I saw you in?

• 45:08Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 45:08Bobby Lee?

  Or TV show or something?

• 45:09Speaker 05

  It might have been Will Sasso.

• 45:10Bobby Lee?

  No, you didn't, no, you did a real legit acting part.

• 45:13Speaker 05

  People come to you, I love it when you swallow the lemons, that's Will Sasso. Okay, then I love it when you do Kenny Rogers, Will Sasso.

• 45:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But you're a, you're a good actor.

• 45:20Speaker 05

  What about the average Asian? Bobby Lee.

• 45:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 05

  Uh, so, I'm okay, I get, I've gotten better, I took acting lessons and learned what to do.

• 45:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 05

  Uh, oh, you got Barclay up there, there's.

• 45:31Bobby Lee?

  I love that one. Is that you?

• 45:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:34Speaker 05

  Don't wear a knuckle hair.

• 45:35Bobby Lee?

  What was that, what was that in?

• 45:37Speaker 05

  Uh, that was probably on Frank TV.

• 45:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 45:41Bobby Lee?

  Frank TV, yeah. So you wanna go do more, uh, cause you could do some serious shit, maybe?

• 45:47Speaker 05

  Uh.

• 45:47Bobby Lee?

  Town Cop?

• 45:48Speaker 05

  I try to do that, that's what I'd rather like to do.

• 45:50Bobby Lee?

  What, what could Frank be in? Let, let, just based on what he looks like? Town Cops, Sheriff, it's more Sheriff. Sheriff, you're the Sher, Town Sheriff. Um.

• 45:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What else could you do? You could be the barber.

• 46:02Speaker 09

  I mean, they would always send me like terrible, like rednecky stuff to read or the racist guy. I'm like, I don't want to do all that.

• 46:09Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 46:09Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 46:10Bobby Lee?

  You could do it, though. Hey, man, what you doing around this town? Oh. Yeah? Get in the trunk, Chinaman. Is that your only go-to slur is Chinaman? It's my, yeah, I can switch it up. Get in the trunk, nip. Yeah, yeah, nip is not bad.

• 46:25Speaker 06

  What's nip?

• 46:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, well, let's go. Let's ask Frank. Yeah.

• 46:29Speaker 09

  I don't know. I honestly don't even know what that is.

• 46:31Bobby Lee?

  Nip is a, usually toward Japanese. It was more toward World War II, I believe. During the war.

• 46:37Speaker 09

  Oh, that's a real, that's a real.

• 46:39Bobby Lee?

  Nip, yeah, there was, there's another one in Vietnam, zipper head. Which I never, zip, zip, I don't, I never really. Oh, yeah. Know what? You go, oh, yeah, what? Why do you think it's zipper head? I didn't know why for the longest time. Well, no, I'm just, I just made it up. Maybe. No, I think that's it. Chat GPT it. I think you're right. It's the eyes. What? Yeah, gook, it was obviously that's the, you know, I mean, the go-to, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, the old, you know.

• 47:04Speaker 06

  What about for Koreans?

• 47:08Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, what's for Koreans?

• 47:09Speaker 09

  It's like I'm watching tennis.

• 47:11Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 47:12Speaker 06

  Like a.

• 47:13Bobby Lee?

  Slur. Gook is probably what they used for, don't, Patrick, why you?

• 47:17Speaker 09

  No, they, I lived in Korea for a year.

• 47:19Bobby Lee?

  Damn.

• 47:20Speaker 09

  Gook, like, mi gook, sarang imnida, like.

• 47:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 09

  I'm, I'm, that's my coun- nation.

• 47:25Bobby Lee?

  The countryman.

• 47:25Speaker 09

  Like, yeah, I'm a, my countryman.

• 47:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly, dude.

• 47:28Speaker 09

  And then Nippon, nip is short for Nippon.

• 47:31Bobby Lee?

  That's what it is.

• 47:31Speaker 09

  Which is Japan and Japanese.

• 47:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, so you know. He knows how the origin of all the slurs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you in Korea? I mean, were you in Korea because of, you have an Asian fetish?

• 47:41Speaker 09

  No, no, I, I have a Kims of Comedy fetish and I was just like, I'll go there and get, no, no, I taught there for a year and then I lived in Japan for two years as a student.

• 47:51Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Did you hook up with any Asian ladies?

• 47:53Speaker 09

  Uh, you know, there were, there were some, um, yeah, there were some crossings.

• 47:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay, good, okay. Crossing? Crossings, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 09

  Weird term.

• 48:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I mean, you've been married for how long? Thirty years?

• 48:03Speaker 09

  Feels like it.

• 48:04Bobby Lee?

  How, how long has it been?

• 48:05Speaker 09

  Uh, Joey is 21, so 22 years.

• 48:08Bobby Lee?

  My God.

• 48:09Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 48:09Bobby Lee?

  I remember when you were nothing.

• 48:11Speaker 09

  When I was.

• 48:11Bobby Lee?

  You were unfuckable. I remember when you were unfuckable.

• 48:13Speaker 09

  Still, as a married man, I am unfuckable.

• 48:16Bobby Lee?

  I mean, how is marriage after 22 years?

• 48:19Speaker 09

  Uh, great. I mean, everything is perfect all the time.

• 48:23Speaker 05

  No, I, you know, it's, uh, up and down. I mean, being married's tough. Uh, Joey, my, my son, my daughter, uh, that's Joey's graduation. He looks very different now. Uh, Juliet actually looks quite a bit different. Michelle looks di- Michelle's lost.

• 48:42Bobby Lee?

  Wasn't she doing comedy or sketch or something?

• 48:44Speaker 05

  No, God, no.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  You were doing, she was doing impressions with you online or something.

• 48:48Speaker 05

  Oh, Juliet?

• 48:49Bobby Lee?

  Your daughter, yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 05

  My daughter, yeah, yeah.

• 48:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:51Speaker 05

  Yeah. Uh, look on the Instagram, there's a thing that, at that Harry Styles, there, there's a better.

• 48:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 05

  Uh, with Juliet. Juliet can do like Jon Gruden, "I'll tell you what, man."

• 49:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Does she wanna do comedy or no?

• 49:01Speaker 05

  She wants to be in PR. I took her to CAA to meet agents and stuff like that.

• 49:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 49:06Speaker 05

  She loves behind the scenes.

• 49:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see, okay.

• 49:08Speaker 05

  She really likes, uh, what's going on behind the scenes and wants to be involved. Oh, there's me playing some ping pong. I think that's a Morgan Freeman ping pong right there.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  What does that mean?

• 49:17Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, let's.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  Oh, you do like the, the Beijing.

• 49:21Bobby Lee?

  Dude, he's so good. Look at this guy.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  Wait, is this real?

• 49:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:23Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:24Bobby Lee?

  Caliendo is that good, dude. In my day, no, that was pretty good, dude. Not that good. Holy shit, that's fucking Forrest Gump shit.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's the same play over and over.

• 49:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Is that your garage?

• 49:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my.

• 49:36Speaker 00

  Damn, you like play-play.

• 49:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He lives in a mansion.

• 49:41Bobby Lee?

  I mean, you have a nice house.

• 49:42Speaker 05

  Uh, you have two houses, but the, uh, I sold, I had three and, and John Lovitz came over, he goes, "How much is this?

• 49:52Speaker 05

  How much for this? You own all this?

• 49:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Love Johnny.

• 49:55Speaker 05

  How much money do you make?

• 49:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 05

  I make more and I have less.

• 50:01Bobby Lee?

  So when I'm in Phoenix and I visit my mom and stuff, I'm afraid to call you. Would you have dinner with me?

• 50:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 05

  I don't really eat in the afternoon, but we could have lunch or something.

• 50:10Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean you don't eat in the afternoon?

• 50:11Speaker 05

  I, I stop eating at like three o'clock.

• 50:13Speaker 00

  Intermittent fasting?

• 50:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:15Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 50:15Speaker 05

  So.

• 50:15Bobby Lee?

  You don't eat from three to nothing after that?

• 50:18Speaker 05

  Well, eventually.

• 50:19Bobby Lee?

  The next morning?

• 50:20Speaker 05

  Eight, nine in the morning, the next morning, sometimes ten.

• 50:22Bobby Lee?

  Don't, don't, here's the thing, Frank, let me ask you this. Hunger pains.

• 50:27Speaker 05

  Okay, so I have a theory on hunger pains.

• 50:29Bobby Lee?

  That's what fucks me up.

• 50:30Speaker 05

  You just can't believe them. Like, it's, you just have to fight through it a few times and then you understand that it's just habit. People, yeah. People, people originally didn't eat all the time. They would eat when they could find food.

• 50:45Bobby Lee?

  The nomads.

• 50:46Speaker 05

  Right.

• 50:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Not like that no more.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  We have, you know what I mean.

• 50:52Speaker 05

  Is this one of your mad TV characters?

• 50:54Bobby Lee?

  No, no, what I'm saying is that, so you're saying that humans are genetically, you know what I mean, conditioned to only eat sporadically?

• 51:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's why if you, if you eat less, if you, I mean, I've watched a lot of stuff, whether it's, you know, Instagram or Rogan or something like that where they, your body, if you don't eat, fights off.

• 51:21Bobby Lee?

  Infections and.

• 51:22Speaker 05

  Everything more, yeah.

• 51:23Bobby Lee?

  Diseases and stuff.

• 51:23Speaker 05

  If you're, if you're fighting, if you're always feeding your body, it doesn't, uh, well, it helps with memory if you eat, apparently, but, uh.

• 51:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:34Speaker 05

  But it's, it, it's, uh, your, your immune system is stronger if you don't eat all the time.

• 51:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so intermittent fasting?

• 51:42Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:42Bobby Lee?

  So just get one big meal before five and then I'm good?

• 51:45Speaker 00

  Or eat in a window.

• 51:46Speaker 06

  I feel like you do it though, Tito Bobby.

• 51:48Bobby Lee?

  But I'm, see, he says I'm cheating because of the shot.

• 51:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:51Bobby Lee?

  He's doing no shot. I'm doing, I'm cheating.

• 51:54Speaker 05

  I really don't care. I, I think, I, I was just.

• 51:56Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'm going blind. I think that I should care.

• 51:59Speaker 05

  You're going, you're going blind?

• 52:00Speaker 00

  My bones are weak.

• 52:01Bobby Lee?

  Well, my bones are weak.

• 52:02Speaker 05

  Why?

• 52:02Bobby Lee?

  Because of the fucking shot.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  Side effect.

• 52:03Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 52:04Bobby Lee?

  They're side effects, yeah. My bones crack.

• 52:06Speaker 05

  I was gonna say you got, look like you got cracky bones.

• 52:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know. People have been saying that, dude.

• 52:11Speaker 05

  Mr. Glass?

• 52:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm cracked out, man, right now, yeah, yeah.

• 52:14Speaker 05

  You're cracked out?

• 52:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:15Speaker 05

  I thought you were off the.

• 52:16Bobby Lee?

  Even when I'm hiking, I can feel my knees go like that and my bones shaking, but I don't know.

• 52:23Speaker 06

  I think all I said, your butt got darker because of a zom thing.

• 52:28Speaker 05

  That might have been a private conversation.

• 52:29Speaker 00

  That was a private conversation.

• 52:30Bobby Lee?

  Well.

• 52:31Speaker 05

  The inside or the outside?

• 52:32Speaker 00

  Butt got darker, what if that? The inside.

• 52:34Bobby Lee?

  No, what happens is, yeah, because I would never show you, but, um.

• 52:38Speaker 00

  Do you want me to put a photo up?

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  No, don't, don't, don't, don't, no, because Frank doesn't like it. Yeah, yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 05

  Don't, I don't like what?

• 52:42Bobby Lee?

  You don't like photos like that. Well, can you show them?

• 52:44Speaker 00

  I want to ask his permission.

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, do you?

• 52:46Speaker 05

  You have a butthole shot?

• 52:47Bobby Lee?

  No, no, it's not a butthole, it's just the darkness around the region.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't care.

• 52:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Well, let me zoom up on that.

• 52:52Bobby Lee?

  No, no, but not the Alex one, not the Alex, not the one that, not the one that you took, not the one that you took, all right?

• 52:56Speaker 05

  I honestly might have one of these on my phone.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know, I don't think so, you know what I mean? Yeah, but, um, yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 00

  I'll get it. Give me a second.

• 53:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I, yeah, something hap, you ever seen it?

• 53:06Speaker 06

  No, but the guy said.

• 53:08Bobby Lee?

  It's so dark. It's like I'm two different races.

• 53:11Speaker 06

  So what happened?

• 53:12Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 53:13Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 53:13Bobby Lee?

  What? I don't know what happened. But Khalyla was like, something happened. Could you show it? Cause I'm excited.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  How close do you want to be? Just close? You don't see the outside?

• 53:22Bobby Lee?

  Uh, let's do, uh, Inner Space. Medium, medium. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  We'll go really close.

• 53:26Bobby Lee?

  Zoom in.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  You can ask me to zoom out if you wanna see the full. Oh shit, sorry.

• 53:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  Sorry, it froze.

• 53:34Bobby Lee?

  So why is it so dark in that region, dude? What's your, I mean, you poop. That's where you poop. Yeah. What do you think it's gonna come? I know. But zoom out.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  I'm sorry.

• 53:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What's in there? Uh, maggots?

• 53:47Bobby Lee?

  Maggots? What are you talking about? It's toilet paper. It's toilet paper residue. Yeah, yeah. Zoom out, though. Completely out now. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. No, so. Why do you have this picture? I took it yesterday. Yeah, so, um.

• 54:02Speaker 07

  Hey folks, Sean Magg. I mean, if you look right there, that's, you don't want the dark circles. You get the dark circles under your eyes. This one's in your anus.

• 54:14Speaker 07

  And that's when Frank realized that Bobby Lee's butthole was the dirtiest thing he's ever seen in his entire life.

• 54:20Bobby Lee?

  Somebody punched me in the butthole. I got a, uh, your black butthole. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what's going on there.

• 54:25Speaker 00

  That's from Ozempic, right?

• 54:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's from Ozempic or not, but, um, I think it's bleaching. What is going on? No, bleaching would do the opposite. Yeah. You don't know what bleaching is? Yeah, I know. You're bleach whites. No, what I'm saying, is it dyed from the poo is what I'm saying.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Well, how do you know it's darker than what it was? Like, how do you?

• 54:41Bobby Lee?

  Were you doing it before? No, because Khalyla, who I was dating for 10 years, has seen my asshole every year.

• 54:48Speaker 00

  Progression.

• 54:48Bobby Lee?

  The progression of my asshole. And it used to be one solid color. What? Well, she's someone I was dating, you know what I mean? Wait, wait. I, I, you probably still do, only do Christian love, but you know. When I, where I come from, we do it all. Okay. Okay. So, her observation was, it was one solid color. And then over the. What color was that? Yellow, or whatever it might be. Yellow? Yeah, yeah. It was just one yellow. It used to be, your butthole was skin color. Skin color. I don't believe anybody's butthole's skin color. I think maybe pinkish. Okay, not mine. You saw that, right? No, that was, uh, that was the black hole. That was a black hole.

• 55:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, what would Trump say about that?

• 55:27Bobby Lee?

  So I don't know. That was a tremendous. I don't know what occurred.

• 55:29Speaker 08

  A lot of people are saying that that is a dirty butt.

• 55:33Speaker 08

  It wasn't a dirty butt, it's a, an Ozempic butt.

• 55:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I don't think.

• 55:36Speaker 08

  And there's a difference, because all of the fat leaves your buttocks area and your anus. And the anal area gets very dark, very dark, so far, that we're going to build a wall.

• 55:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 08

  So the darkness can't get out.

• 55:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know. Should I see a dermatologist, you think?

• 55:55Speaker 05

  I don't think they'd want to get in there.

• 55:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:57Speaker 05

  I think that's more of a proctology kinda?

• 55:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, maybe I should get a cream where I'm, because I just want it one solid color. I'm tired of the different. Looks like there's a border. I don't, I don't think that that needs to be, you know?

• 56:09Speaker 05

  You think you should get crown molding?

• 56:11Bobby Lee?

  Do Ronald Reagan about bringing on the wall too?

• 56:14Speaker 07

  Folks, how'd I get in this hole?

• 56:18Speaker 05

  Biden and Bobby Lee's butthole.

• 56:19Speaker 07

  Folks, come on. It's darker in here than normal. This young man brought up in Scranton, Pennsylvania. There were dirty areas, there were dirty alleys. I got stuck. This reminds me of the place I got stuck. It's Scranton, Pennsylvania.

• 56:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, wow. So anyway, I'll do something about that, but um.

• 56:41Speaker 05

  Oh, it's great. I think that is, I mean, it could be your signature thing.

• 56:44Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not my signature thing. I, I want, you know, well, you know, it could be old age too. I'm, you know, you're fifty, what, how old are you?

• 56:51Speaker 05

  Fifty-one.

• 56:52Bobby Lee?

  Fifty-one. I'm about to turn fifty-four.

• 56:54Speaker 05

  When's your birthday?

• 56:55Bobby Lee?

  In a couple of weeks, September seventeen.

• 56:57Speaker 05

  Happy birthday, bud.

• 56:57Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, bud. And um, I'm, you know, I'm going into my elderly years. And it's so sad. It, it's like, I look in the mirror now, and sometimes I don't even recognize at certain angles. It makes me so sad.

• 57:11Speaker 05

  Might be the fat shot.

• 57:13Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 57:14Speaker 05

  No.

• 57:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Do I have Ozempic face?

• 57:16Speaker 05

  No. No.

• 57:19Speaker 05

  Yes?

• 57:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know. People, yeah, I don't think I do.

• 57:22Speaker 05

  I thought, when I first saw you, I thought your, uh, upper body looked, uh, trim. There was something, I don't know how to say it, but it just didn't look healthy.

• 57:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you, you, so if you saw me in the streets, you'd be like, oh, he's, he's sick?

• 57:35Speaker 05

  No, I'm kinda joking.

• 57:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 05

  But you definitely did, I could tell something was up.

• 57:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, something. I lost about almost thirty.

• 57:41Speaker 05

  Oh, thirty, oh yeah?

• 57:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. For being my size, pretty good. Yeah, but um, it doesn't, I'll tell you this, it doesn't do what I thought it was gonna do. I thought, if I lose thirty, oh my god, women are gonna be, you know what I mean? And it's all pretty much the same. I think my face is, that's fucked.

• 57:58Speaker 05

  Or the butthole.

• 57:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, I don't open with my butthole. You know, go, hi, can I get your number? Look at my butthole.

• 58:05Bobby Lee?

  No, that's later. That's a gift later.

• 58:06Speaker 05

  I'm working on my Bobby impression.

• 58:09Speaker 05

  You do that a lot.

• 58:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:10Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 05

  Arms crossed and then down.

• 58:13Bobby Lee?

  I do?

• 58:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think I'm hard to do an impression of.

• 58:16Speaker 05

  I think I'm hard to do an impression, yeah. Yeah.

• 58:18Bobby Lee?

  Can you come up with one or no?

• 58:20Speaker 05

  Um, no, it would take time. There, I think there's.

• 58:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:23Speaker 05

  There's some stuff to do.

• 58:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Johnny Sanchez does my laugh, which just drives me crazy. I, I, I don't even know.

• 58:30Bobby Lee?

  You know, yeah, you know, like.

• 58:31Speaker 05

  Almost the Harland Williams dolphin.

• 58:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I have like a weird laugh, I guess, but you know.

• 58:36Speaker 05

  Well, you do, you have bursts of laughter.

• 58:45Speaker 05

  And then it winds down.

• 58:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that's me. Yeah, that's my laugh. That's my laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your laugh?

• 58:51Speaker 05

  What's your laugh? Um, my laugh is more of a huh, like it's.

• 58:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, yeah.

• 58:55Speaker 05

  I have a thing that I don't real, I, if I laugh, it's just a burst of recognition, I think. I laugh more at timing than I do at great line. If I, if I hear a great line, I'm like, oh, that's good.

• 59:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:09Speaker 05

  I wish I'd have thought of that.

• 59:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like when you're watching a comic on stage, I don't do the laugh I just did. I do that laugh. Ha!

• 59:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah.

• 59:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know why comics laugh for other comics in that way. I mean, it's never like gut wrenching. It's like, that was good.

• 59:25Speaker 05

  Now, I laugh on a comic who I know is good. Something doesn't work, I start cracking.

• 59:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I love that.

• 59:31Speaker 05

  It's like.

• 59:32Bobby Lee?

  I love failing.

• 59:32Speaker 05

  Oh, my God, that, this person I admire and think they're fantastic.

• 59:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:36Speaker 05

  And this bit is great and they're getting nothing.

• 59:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:39Speaker 05

  Hilarious, because it's almost like, oh, I feel bad for the audience that they don't get this.

• 59:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:44Speaker 05

  Uh.

• 59:44Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever seen like a guy that's good bomb still?

• 59:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think it happens.

• 59:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 05

  I mean, I don't watch enough comedy. I tend to not watch.

• 59:52Bobby Lee?

  Like, you do openers, like this Patrick bomb?

• 59:54Speaker 05

  Uh, I don't think so.

• 59:55Bobby Lee?

  Takes a while to get them going sometimes.

• 59:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you do, you're the cold open?

• 59:59Speaker 05

  Sometimes. Yeah, well, I have him go up, I have him do like a host and just do five minutes sometimes and take the bullet. And then he sits in the back of the room and watches what I do later.

• 1:00:09Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  It's kind of like, so I'll improv and then we'll get together and write, you know, he'll add on or have different, um, uh, you know, offshoots of what I said, or, or, or different ways of writing the bit, you know, we'll, we'll come up with stuff after the fact, but he's, he's on the road, not to, he does some comedy, but he's actually there more for helping me out.

• 1:00:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're a good writer.

• 1:00:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33Bobby Lee?

  You've always had that reputation too. Oh, good, thanks, that's good. Oh, good, good, good, good. Well, no, I'll take the compliment. I'm giving you one. So aggressive. It's so, I'm sorry, that was aggressive. I love you. Good to see you. It was a surprise to see you in there.

• 1:00:45Speaker 05

  How do we turn this?

• 1:00:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you, uh, would you ever do stand up?

• 1:00:49Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:00:50Speaker 05

  God, would you ever do a podcast?

• 1:00:53Bobby Lee?

  She does like three. She does so many.

• 1:00:55Speaker 05

  I'm just joking.

• 1:00:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's killing it.

• 1:00:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You don't like this world, huh?

• 1:00:59Speaker 06

  I just, I don't know, I don't care a lot.

• 1:01:02Bobby Lee?

  You don't care a lot, yeah.

• 1:01:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Bobby Lee?

  Um.

• 1:01:07Bobby Lee?

  So, um, Frank, you have a date, right, that you want to promote?

• 1:01:11Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, October 25th, Paramount Theater in Aurora.

• 1:01:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:18Speaker 05

  Waynesville.

• 1:01:19Bobby Lee?

  Check that date out. Frank is the greatest impressionist.

• 1:01:22Speaker 05

  That's Chicago, that's Chicago area, Chicago, Illinois, Aurora, where Waynesville.

• 1:01:29Bobby Lee?

  Do you know Matt Friend?

• 1:01:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's very good.

• 1:01:31Bobby Lee?

  Very good too, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 05

  I saw Jay Moore earlier and I was talking about, he is the type of guy who, he could be antagonistic with his comedy.

• 1:01:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 05

  And he's changed quite a bit, but he's, he's still, he's got that ability.

• 1:01:44Bobby Lee?

  Is he nice now?

• 1:01:44Speaker 05

  So crazy nice that it's almost, I remember, I told him.

• 1:01:47Bobby Lee?

  He's changed.

• 1:01:47Speaker 05

  I remember talking to him on the phone one time, and he just hung up in the middle of it.

• 1:01:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 05

  He goes, I was kind of a dick. And I was like, why didn't you want to say, he goes, no, it's well noted.

• 1:01:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  Um, but I, like, he's a different guy now, he does like daily affirmations and stuff.

• 1:02:00Bobby Lee?

  He's great, dude.

• 1:02:00Speaker 05

  So, um, but it was one of those things, oh, I don't even remember.

• 1:02:04Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Bro, intermittent fasting for you, dude. Yeah. Great. Yeah.

• 1:02:09Speaker 05

  I'm way different.

• 1:02:10Bobby Lee?

  You look great, yeah.

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  Um, and Jay, Jay doesn't look that good anymore, so.

• 1:02:17Speaker 05

  Here's the thing, I'm even thinner than my face lets on. Like, I'm still not skinny, but I'm getting built. My face-

• 1:02:26Bobby Lee?

  When I saw you in the fucking lobby, just now, at my house, right? I went, "Oh, you look right."

• 1:02:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, for as fat as I was.

• 1:02:34Bobby Lee?

  You were a fat buck.

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. No, there, look, Google Frank Caliendo fat. Google Frank Caliendo Tom Cruise. No, Google Frank Caliendo Tom Cruise. Damn.

• 1:02:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, did you do Tom Cruise in front of Tom Cruise?

• 1:02:47Speaker 05

  Uh, no, I was doing Bush there, George W. Bush.

• 1:02:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, was he nice, Tom?

• 1:02:51Speaker 05

  Super nice.

• 1:02:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:52Speaker 05

  And I always tell the story, I was in the, I was in the, um-

• 1:02:56Bobby Lee?

  What an amazing experience.

• 1:02:57Speaker 05

  I was in the green room, and I said Scientology or his name three times, and he appeared. The aliens put him down behind me, and he goes, "You are a very funny man." And my joke is, "And you complete me," right?

• 1:03:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:11Speaker 05

  I just liked that moment, and I was like, "What? Where did you see?" He's like, "You hosted the NASCAR Awards," and because he did Days of Thunder, he would watch that kind of stuff. So it was like, "Look, that's a fat, like, that's Lou Anderson, top five answers are on the board."

• 1:03:27Speaker 05

  "Show me awkward."

• 1:03:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Wow.

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  That's like, I, I, my head is so fat there, my head is so fat. My head is so fat, my hair doesn't cover all of it.

• 1:03:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Speaker 05

  Like, there's, and I have a giant head.

• 1:03:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Speaker 05

  So, yeah, but it's-

• 1:03:42Bobby Lee?

  Did you feel good about yourself then, or no?

• 1:03:44Speaker 05

  I didn't know, nobody would tell me because I was making too many people too much money. When you're making a lot of people money, nobody says anything. I was so delusional, people, I was talking to Jay Moore about this with, like, where, when you're on drugs, and you probably know this, you, you think they're, or alcohol or whatever, you think you're doing great, and it turns out you sucked.

• 1:04:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:03Speaker 05

  That's what it was like for me, for, "I'm losing weight, no, I'm eating four bags of cookies a night."

• 1:04:07Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:04:07Speaker 05

  And I think, "I only ate two bags of cookies tonight."

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:10Speaker 05

  I must have been 250-ish there, and I'm only 5'6". How old were you there? Uh, probably in mid-30s.

• 1:04:17Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:04:18Speaker 05

  Um, and then I was like, "Hey, wanna, wanna, wanna treat that? That's pretty good." But, yeah, and I thought I was in the same, same, same shame, that's Freudian. I thought I was in the same shape as Tom Cruise right there, and it looks like I'm, it looks like I'm gonna eat him. Looks like I'm Pac-Man, and he is a power pellet.

• 1:04:35Bobby Lee?

  He could live inside you almost.

• 1:04:37Speaker 05

  There could be two of them, there were two Tom Cruises. He could, Top Gun, he would get inside of me and fly off.

• 1:04:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 1:04:43Speaker 05

  Take my breath away.

• 1:04:44Bobby Lee?

  Well, you look great, dude.

• 1:04:45Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 1:04:46Bobby Lee?

  So October.

• 1:04:46Speaker 05

  I can take this overcoat off, you can see it.

• 1:04:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're buff now?

• 1:04:50Speaker 05

  You wanna see my butthole?

• 1:04:51Bobby Lee?

  Easy, easy, dude. I don't ever wanna see it.

• 1:04:53Speaker 05

  It's un- I don't have the shot, so it's.

• 1:04:56Bobby Lee?

  Year.

• 1:04:56Speaker 05

  It's a pure butthole. It's. It's a shiny little white rabbit. It's a tiny bunny.

• 1:05:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Minneapolis, November.

• 1:05:07Speaker 05

  That one's sold out.

• 1:05:08Bobby Lee?

  But you do clubs or just theaters?

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  Well, Aurora's a theater, Minneapolis is a, is a weeknight show, and that's, um, that's sold out, I'm gonna add another night there with, for Louis Lee, you've worked for Louis Lee.

• 1:05:19Bobby Lee?

  Never have.

• 1:05:19Speaker 05

  No, I thought you've worked for Louis Lee.

• 1:05:21Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:05:22Speaker 05

  You've never worked at me?

• 1:05:23Bobby Lee?

  I have.

• 1:05:23Speaker 05

  You have?

• 1:05:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  He is, and I, I, I hope this isn't, I, listen, he is, he's Chinese, so he, he's not Pat Marita, but he acts exactly like Pat.

• 1:05:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:33Speaker 05

  Pat Marita's from Okinawa?

• 1:05:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:36Speaker 05

  So, thank God some of my research is paying.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  Okinawa? Okadana?

• 1:05:44Bobby Lee?

  Tell him I said hi.

• 1:05:44Speaker 05

  But he does, uh, I will, he, but he does, he will do the thing that Pat Marita did where he'll tell the joke, and then he'll be like, oh, he'll be like, you're very good.

• 1:05:55Speaker 05

  And he just walks off, and like, did you really mean it, or what was the joke? I call him, I call him my Asian dad.

• 1:06:01Bobby Lee?

  Look at him.

• 1:06:02Speaker 05

  He tells me his Italian son.

• 1:06:03Bobby Lee?

  There's not more, any more Chinese looking person than that, look at that.

• 1:06:08Bobby Lee?

  That's the king Chinese.

• 1:06:09Speaker 05

  He'll be gone for a while, he goes, I go to Hong Kong.

• 1:06:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. He's everything, dude, he's kung pow.

• 1:06:15Speaker 05

  Can I do an Asian accent without getting in trouble?

• 1:06:17Bobby Lee?

  On the show, yes.

• 1:06:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I've seen a different show with.

• 1:06:20Bobby Lee?

  Santino does it.

• 1:06:21Speaker 05

  Oh, and that's terrible.

• 1:06:22Bobby Lee?

  And Di Stefano does it.

• 1:06:23Speaker 05

  God, he's funny, he went to ASU.

• 1:06:24Bobby Lee?

  Di Stefano will walk out and go, oh, like that.

• 1:06:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I wouldn't do that.

• 1:06:27Bobby Lee?

  I know you won't.

• 1:06:28Speaker 05

  Not on the show. And, uh.

• 1:06:31Speaker 05

  But I, I, um, as I said, I think it's great, you know?

• 1:06:35Bobby Lee?

  Do the Asian accent.

• 1:06:36Speaker 05

  I'm trying to. If you do an Indian accent, you do it one that is much more real. You don't do the one that everyone does. Do you know Casey Aurora?

• 1:06:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do, do it an exaggerated Indian.

• 1:06:47Speaker 05

  No, thank you. So I played table tennis with a bunch of Asian guys. Hemant, Rajiv, uh, uh, Shumit.

• 1:06:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:57Speaker 05

  And Frank.

• 1:06:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:58Speaker 05

  Uh, and the guys.

• 1:06:59Bobby Lee?

  They live in Phoenix?

• 1:06:59Speaker 05

  And they're like, uh, yeah, they live in Phoenix and they, I used to play with them all the time. And Hemant said, how come you never do the Indian accent? And I'm like, I do it all the time. I've been harboring it for many years. And it's, he was like, oh, that's good. Why don't you do that? I'm like, cause I like my life.

• 1:07:16Bobby Lee?

  You, I, I, I think we're at a point in life, you can do those.

• 1:07:20Speaker 05

  I think if you do it, I think the only way to do it is not make it a cartoon and make it the joke. I think if it is.

• 1:07:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I see what you're saying.

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  You know what I'm saying? If it's, if it's real and honest and pure, not, if you make the joke about yourself, like everybody would do the ordering Chinese food. And then they make it about the person on the other end of the call, the owner of the establishment. But if you were to make it about yourself, how you don't, it's, I feel it's my own problem. I wish I could under. Then it, I think it would be, people would cut it up into little pieces and then you'd still get in trouble with some people. But that's not really what it is.

• 1:07:58Bobby Lee?

  But you're scared of getting in trouble.

• 1:08:01Speaker 05

  I worry about that. I worried about it more because I was, um.

• 1:08:04Bobby Lee?

  You're never gonna get in trouble.

• 1:08:06Speaker 05

  I, I, you know, now that I have you on my side.

• 1:08:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't, I can't even.

• 1:08:10Speaker 05

  Would you like a number five?

• 1:08:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:14Speaker 05

  Good faith and begotry. Is that a, is that a?

• 1:08:17Bobby Lee?

  So you'll never like, you're that safe, that you're, you won't say.

• 1:08:20Speaker 05

  I'm getting less safe because I really don't give a rip at this, but you know, it's one of those.

• 1:08:24Bobby Lee?

  We're getting older, let alone.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, you, I can tell you really care about it.

• 1:08:29Bobby Lee?

  I don't really.

• 1:08:29Speaker 05

  Oh, you're brilliant with it. I mean, you guys, you and Santino and, uh, you, you mentioned, who's the other New Yorker? The, uh.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  The Stefano.

• 1:08:35Speaker 05

  The Stefano, you're fantastic.

• 1:08:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  Everybody, I mean, listen.

• 1:08:38Bobby Lee?

  Because we, it's, it's, you know, it's, we love each other so much. It's tit for tat, you know what I mean? And it's stuff that we laugh at. And if you don't like it, don't listen. I mean, it's like, I don't know what the fucking problem is. That's all.

• 1:08:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think, but then what happens in this day and age, people take it out of, uh.

• 1:08:57Bobby Lee?

  And?

• 1:08:57Speaker 05

  Context.

• 1:08:58Bobby Lee?

  And?

• 1:08:58Speaker 05

  And try and hurt you with it.

• 1:08:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they, what can?

• 1:09:00Speaker 05

  Well, what they do is they try and take away, they don't ever go at you directly. They try and take away the money you could.

• 1:09:05Bobby Lee?

  And we, and, and things have been taken away. And so be it.

• 1:09:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:11Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? They take it away because it's like for me, it's like I'd rather be free and also on top of it. It's like what keeps me um grounded is that if I get out, I get out.

• 1:09:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:21Bobby Lee?

  You know?

• 1:09:21Speaker 05

  I got kids though.

• 1:09:22Bobby Lee?

  Look.

• 1:09:23Speaker 05

  Sorry.

• 1:09:27Bobby Lee?

  Why do you keep fucking bringing up that butthole picture?

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  I was heard it close to pre-human.

• 1:09:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:32Speaker 08

  And if we could, if we could fly, what we'll do is we will fly one of our best will fly Space Force.

• 1:09:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you'll be.

• 1:09:38Speaker 08

  We'll take Space Force and we'll fly it into it.

• 1:09:40Bobby Lee?

  Frank, anything you want to plug that was so fun? Did you have fun?

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything else you want to plug?

• 1:09:45Speaker 05

  Uh.

• 1:09:46Bobby Lee?

  He is, what's?

• 1:09:47Speaker 05

  At Frank Caliendo on all social media. If you can't spell Caliendo, it's a letter C, the word alien and the word do. At Frank Caliendo Do.

• 1:09:54Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 1:09:54Speaker 05

  Uh, website is frankonstage.com.

• 1:09:57Bobby Lee?

  So talented.

• 1:09:57Speaker 05

  Spell it.

• 1:09:58Bobby Lee?

  My old friend.

• 1:09:59Speaker 05

  Uh, and I'm gonna be uh playing Hong Kong in a while.

• 1:10:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you'll be in Hong Kong.

• 1:10:04Speaker 05

  What's it?

• 1:10:04Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not. You can do it all in Mandarin.

• 1:10:06Speaker 05

  That'd be crazy.

• 1:10:07Bobby Lee?

  It's gonna be crazy. Alright, give Frank a round of applause.