Armchair Anonymous: Unexpected Orgasm II

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about an unexpected orgasm. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Dax Shepard?

  Welcome. That should have been for Halloween. I never did.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Okay, you can do it now.

• 0:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay, whoa, welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

• 0:15Dax Shepard?

  Today, back by our popular demand.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:19Dax Shepard?

  Unexpected orgasm number two.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  It's good.

• 0:23Dax Shepard?

  These are great.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  It's good. And I'm always, I will say, I'm always a little apprehensive.

• 0:28Dax Shepard?

  You're really nervous people are gonna fib.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I am. I'm nervous about fibers and my radar's on, but I don't believe any of these to be fibs.

• 0:35Dax Shepard?

  No. And in fact, one I'll add. We're having fun, fun, fun, fun. Three people are spraying all over the place. That's fun. And then another person, they're spray, spray, spray, and then, oh, it's not very fun.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  It's not fun and we learned something. Yeah.

• 0:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it took a turn. Please enjoy unexpected, and literally, I hope everyone gets to enjoy an unexpected orgasm. We get support from Quince.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 1:12Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince, because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen, and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 1:52Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time and he looks iconic.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  It's a uniform. And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home, too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 2:21Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that, too.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop, cold water every morning before anything else.

• 3:09Dax Shepard?

  AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.

• 3:28Dax Shepard?

  It's an easy, everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.

• 3:45Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega three fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax. And after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Expert sent you.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 4:30Dax Shepard?

  Hello.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 4:33Dax Shepard?

  What a warm, comfy, inviting sweater you're in. Is it fall weather where you're at?

• 4:37Speaker 02

  It is. Nice and cozy. I'm not mad about it.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Where are you?

• 4:42Speaker 02

  I am in British Columbia, friendly neighbor of the north.

• 4:46Dax Shepard?

  Do you have a fake name that you've already picked out?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  I would love for you two to come up with one for me. Dreamed of this happening.

• 4:52Dax Shepard?

  Betsy.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Betsy's a very fun name for an unexpected orgasm. Like, oh, you know Betsy, right?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  You know Betsy, she's unpredictable.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Can't believe I'm about to say this story.

• 5:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I'm so proud of you. Yes, I applaud this.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Literally, I just told my husband this story when I submitted it. So this is the second time I'm now saying this out loud.

• 5:15Dax Shepard?

  He had never heard it.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  No, this was buried deep in the archives.

• 5:20Dax Shepard?

  And really quick, without giving any of the story away, what was his reaction? I'm assuming he loved it.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  He loved it.

• 5:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  These are good stories for husbands. They want that.

• 5:29Dax Shepard?

  And it should be across the board because an orgasm's a gift. Nature gave us a couple gifts, and this is one of them.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  I would agree.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  And if one smacks you out of nowhere, how exciting. Okay.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Okay, let's hear it.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Okay, I'll get right into it. So, set the scene here. This story took place about 15 years ago. I was a senior in high school at the time. My family were very adventurous travelers and we were going on kind of one of our last big family trips before I went off to university the next year. And we were going to India for a whole month.

• 5:57Dax Shepard?

  A month? They are adventurous.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. My parents and younger brother had left a week before me. I had to stay behind to finish exams, which I wasn't mad about because being typical 17-year-old, home by myself for a week, I decided, this is the time, gonna throw a massive house party. This was the night I was gonna lose my virginity to this boy that I'd been seeing.

• 6:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow, so much on the table. I'm approving of the second game plan. The first one, the house party. This is my big nightmare.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  Really?

• 6:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I've got two kids and I've got a pretty good place to host a party and I travel.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  It's coming.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Risky business.

• 6:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, God, okay.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  So anyways, as you can imagine, night did not go according to plan. I got way too drunk to have sex, ended up passing out.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Did get some action, so I was happy about that, but no, not the full shabbing. So sadly, woke up very much still a virgin and with a very trashed house. Okay, so all that to say, I was very horny teenager. Sex is all I could think about at this point in time. So the thought of spending three weeks in India, sharing hotel rooms with my family meant no chance of funny business. And this was honestly devastating. I was pretty active in the self entertainment department.

• 7:13Dax Shepard?

  Right, and if you don't mind my asking, we're talking daily. I just want to comp it to my activity as a teenager.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Probably daily at this point in time.

• 7:20Dax Shepard?

  Good for you.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's great.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Miss those days.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Fast forward to the end of the trip. We're in India. Trip is going great, having a fun time. But at this point, I'm feeling pretty pent up. My sex drive, all time high. I've been messaging this boy back at home. I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife, which turns out was a very steamy novel.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Isn't it like really sad?

• 7:46Dax Shepard?

  You can like hardly be contained, Betsy. I love that. You're about to explode on the family vacation.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  I feel like that book is extremely sad.

• 7:53Dax Shepard?

  Is it? And sexy?

• 7:55Speaker 01

  I don't remember the sexy part.

• 7:56Dax Shepard?

  Maybe her kink is like being really depressed and then strained.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  I understand.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  I don't know. I feel like I need to revisit this book because I also remember it being very sad now as an adult. But I remember this book was getting me going.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Anything would get you going, it sounds like. You're just primed.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  I'm really just counting down the days till I'm home and can have some privacy. So we're in the Jaipur region and we're so excited to go on this tiger safari. So we pile into this big open truck bed, kind of like a smaller semi truck. And there's like two benches where people are just sitting facing each other. And we're just in the open. So there's probably about 20 of us sitting on these benches facing each other.

• 8:32Dax Shepard?

  Can I interrupt you, Betsy? Are you Monica doing what I'm doing? I'm like, okay, is it gonna be an elephant working on some? This'll be new, like riding the elephant or grind, grind, grind. And then I'm like, ooh, rickety truck through the jungle, bounce, bounce, bounce. I'm like trying to figure out what's a red herring.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  I have an idea. We don't want to spoil anything.

• 8:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we don't. I just wanted to know if you were trying to ratchet through options.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  I have a thought.

• 8:53Dax Shepard?

  Like, oh, someone brought a broomstick. Oh, okay, there's a broomstick in the mix.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  We're on this truck. We are the only white people on this truck, surrounded by a kind of a bunch of local families and young children. And I will say, the whole time we were in India, everyone thought I was a Bollywood star. I don't know why. I had very dark, long hair at this time. I was getting pictures taken of me nonstop. Oh, wow. All eyes were on me, kind of at all times. So the families are looking at us, kind of giggling, waving, taking some pictures. So I'm sitting between my dad and brother. My mom's off to the side of us. And we take off through this jungle, literally on the bumpiest dirt road possible. We are flying 50 miles per hour, for sure. Like, there's no way we were ever gonna spot an actual tiger. It was pure chaos.

• 9:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he was just getting through. He may be a prior engagement.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Maybe he had a tonka. Maybe a hill call for unexpected feedback.

• 9:46Dax Shepard?

  Sometimes there's overlaps. Unexpected stuff happens.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  We're thinking, okay, this will eventually slow down, like, once we get to the tiger spotting area. But about 30 minutes into flying down the road, we realized, okay, this is probably what the whole excursion's gonna be like. So we're laughing to ourselves, realizing we definitely booked the budget version of this tour and are probably not gonna see any tigers. The guys are just chit-chatting away, not even looking into the jungle. Indians love to talk. So before we left, I had chugged a few trities because I was and am obsessed with them. Rookie mistake, didn't go pee before we got on this truck. It's about this time that I realize I have to pee so insanely bad. My eyes are watering, like, there's tears streaming down my face. And I've been clenching for the past 20 minutes.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  This truck is not slowing down. Like, we're just flying, bumping like crazy. And the guides really don't speak much English. I'm super shy. Like, there's not a chance in hell I'm waving them down to be like, "Hey, can you stop the truck? Just let me get off. I'll just go pee on the side of the road." But I did know that we were eventually going to stop for a bathroom and snack break at the halfway point. So I'm just squeezing for dear life until then. And so we're continuing on, no stopping in sight, still flying. Every bump is really unbearable and I'm starting to feel that familiar tension building in the downstairs region.

• 11:05Dax Shepard?

  Wow. So you recognize that as like, wow, this is transferred into a mix of pain and a bit of pleasure.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  Yes, combination of the bumps, full bladder, three weeks of not being able to release, apparently reading The Time Traveler's Wife, just being a very horny teenager.

• 11:21Dax Shepard?

  The thought of tigers, maybe too.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  That's what I thought. I'm realizing what is about to happen and I feel like I have no control over the situation.

• 11:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, wow.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  What? And so I don't know about you, Monica, but when I have a full bladder, I can have like insanely intense orgasms and very quickly.

• 11:39Dax Shepard?

  Monica's never had a full bladder.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  That is true. I don't drink enough water to have a full bladder. Hack, I sometimes don't always pee before sex. I have heard this. This was where this whole tip started, but suddenly it hits. It's honestly, I think, the strongest orgasm I've had in my entire life. Oh.

• 12:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, like to the point where you need to get vocal?

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, so I'm not one to orgasm suddenly. I'm usually like very, very flushed. I have a hard time being quiet. So at this point, I'm just trying not to make eye contact with the families across from me who are staring at me, trying not to touch my brother, dad, who are sitting very close. Oh. This goes on for at least 30 seconds.

• 12:24Dax Shepard?

  Wow, it's the orgasm of your life.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  It literally was. I'm still trying to reach that kind of high again. Do you think part of it is because it was bad? I think so. The tension was just so high. I'm bright red. Like I can tell my face is on fire. I'm shaking, like I'm vibrating. I'm definitely being audible. I'm gasping. I'm really trying. I'm just looking down. Are you moving your body?

• 12:51Dax Shepard?

  Riving?

• 12:52Speaker 02

  I was more like shaking. So my dad turns to me.

• 12:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  And he's literally like. This is horrifying. Are you okay? Like, what's happening? It's obvious. I'm having some kind of medical incident. Like, everyone is staring at this point.

• 13:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  And so I see my parents look at each other out of the corner of their eye. And I swear they're thinking like, did that just happen? Because I'm not responding. I'm just sitting there. I'm looking down. I'm trying to gather myself.

• 13:20Dax Shepard?

  Sure. You need a cigarette.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  I'm just sitting there trying to process the fact that I just had a 10 out of 10 orgasm next to my dad and brother and mom and 15 other people watching. So I'm praying a tiger jumps out of the jungle at this point to take eyes off me. Like, this is horrendous. Did you still have to pee after that? Yes. So I was gonna say, the story doesn't quite stop there. I'm sitting in my post-orgasm shame for probably another 15 minutes or so. And we finally get to the midway point of this tour. I'm clenching for dear life, so excited because I know there's gonna be a bathroom here. So we pull up, still just in the middle of the jungle. And there's this clearing with this little cement structure. So I'm like, okay, thank God, there's the bathrooms.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  I try to subtly make my way over there, speedwalking, get to the bathrooms. It's just three cement walls with open back, just facing to the jungle. And I go in and it's just a little drain in the middle. And there's no roof, so you can kind of hear everything going on. So I make it to the bathroom first as I was speedwalking over there. So by the time I'm in there, the entire truck is now lined up to use this washroom because people, probably similarly to me, were dying on this bumpy truck. And so it turns out I had been clenching so hard that I literally could not relax my pelvic floor. Like, it was stuck. And you're squatting. It's not like you can relax your muscle. Yeah.

• 14:45Dax Shepard?

  And the back is open to tigers.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. Nothing about this is a calm situation. I hear the people out there. I've been in there for way too long already, probably going on five minutes. I hear my mom. She's like, are you okay in there, honey?

• 14:58Dax Shepard?

  As if that's ever helped with anything.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Absolutely not. And I know that if I push. Any harder, it could be possibly a honest situation.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Oh, boy, okay.

• 15:08Dax Shepard?

  Sure, all those chai teas.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I gave up and I had to get back on the truck.

• 15:13Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  For an hour drive back.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:17Speaker 02

  It was excruciating. This was the worst hour of my entire life. I get back to the hotel, pee for what felt like five minutes, did have a bit of a tonka situation, so thank God, didn't push any harder.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Wow, I'm glad you made it back.

• 15:32Dax Shepard?

  You had so much happening in your lower GI.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Maybe your mom and brother and dad thought.

• 15:40Dax Shepard?

  You shit yourself.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  That could have been it.

• 15:42Dax Shepard?

  And then luckily you were in the can forever. So they go, oh, yeah, she definitely.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  That reinforces that it was that.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  I'm gonna lock that away in my mind that that's what they think and we'll go with that.

• 15:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I guess I can only say as a parent, like, my thought of my parents seeing me orgasm is absolutely a nightmare. Now, conversely, your kids are just these dumb things. Everything's whatever. You clean their poop. I promise even if they did think it, they're not like, oh, she's a pervert. You're just like, oh, yes, this is new. Kind of like the time she pooped up her back of her clothes in her diaper.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Definitely worse from my perspective.

• 16:18Dax Shepard?

  What I think could have more likely happened is that you could have developed in that moment a very interesting kink, because your greatest orgasm was in public, being scared at and being shamed. Like, I could imagine this turning into some weird kink.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  I could too. Did it?

• 16:34Speaker 02

  No, I am still so mortified, being that this is the second time I'm speaking this out loud.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  I thought it was gonna be that a tiger appeared.

• 16:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh, and you sprayed, yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. You just got so excited and into it, it was so majestic, and tigers are hot.

• 16:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  And feisty and scary.

• 16:52Dax Shepard?

  Well, they're solitary. They're unavailable, because they're solitary. You know they'll never really link up with you.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Happy ending to the story. The boy I was trying to get with before the trip did lose my virginity to him, and he's now my husband.

• 17:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, you're married to the guy. Wow.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  I also just want to say, thank you both. You've changed mine and my husband's life by introducing us to Emily Berger. It's now an obsession. We might be the only two people who talk about it more than you guys.

• 17:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful. Where did you get it? New York?

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Yes, planning a weekend trip back there, just so we can go eat there. I'm also gluten free because of autoimmune, but it was the one time I've cheated in eight years, and it was so worth it.

• 17:32Dax Shepard?

  I agree. That's the place I'll do it. That pretzel bun? Oh, well, Easter egg. We are gonna have Emily on. So maybe we'll get to find out how she stumbled upon that recipe. So nice meeting you. That's a great story. Just loved it.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Great meeting you guys. Monica, congrats on Beth's dead. Just binged the first two episodes this morning.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Oh, you did? I'm hooked. Oh, good. Thank you so much. It gets way more twisted.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Can't wait.

• 17:58Dax Shepard?

  All right. Well, take care. Have a great rest of your day.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 18:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, what a great story.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Next to your dad.

• 18:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, no, that part is rough. Yeah. You know you gotta spray when you do it.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Right, exactly. That's how intense it was.

• 18:13Dax Shepard?

  What I know from that story is I've never had an orgasm that good.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Really?

• 18:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I just can tell.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Why?

• 18:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, first of all, 30 seconds? My God. Rob, how long do yours last?

• 18:24Speaker 03

  95 seconds.

• 18:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 18:28Dax Shepard?

  95 seconds. On average.

• 18:39Dax Shepard?

  This episode is supported by Helix.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Dax, is there anything better than crawling into a perfect bed on a cold fall night? Candlelit, hoodie on, maybe even some rain outside. The dream.

• 18:53Dax Shepard?

  That's the dream. You just described one of my ideal fall nights.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  I know. And thanks to Helix, my bed actually lives up to the vibe. All I had to do was take the Helix sleep quiz, and within two minutes, they matched me to a mattress built for exactly how I sleep. I have a midnight mattress. It also has cooling technology, which I really

• 19:13Dax Shepard?

  Increasingly so.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  I need it. I have to have it. And I heard that you're supposed to sleep at a cold temp for optimal sleep. It's very, very helpful.

• 19:24Dax Shepard?

  She is not wrong. I have one too, and it's been such a game changer for sleep. And I love that they make it so easy. Free shipping right to your door. And with their happy with Helix guarantee, you'll get a full 365 nights to try it. A whole year to live in that cozy. They've got over 20 mattress models, so no matter how you sleep, they've got one for you.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  And it's not just us saying it. Helix has been named the most awarded mattress brand by Forbes, Wired, and more. You gotta try it for yourself.

• 19:51Dax Shepard?

  Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off sitewide. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off sitewide. Helixsleep.com/armchair.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  With the Venture X Business Card from Capital One, you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase. Plus, big purchasing power means you can spend more and earn more. The Capital One Venture X Business Card. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com for details.

• 20:21Dax Shepard?

  We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had majorary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine euplasia syndrome type 2. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be, or taking birth control pills, and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems. Once-daily Foundo is available by prescription only

• 21:28Speaker 04

  in 0.8mg, 2.5mg, 5.5mg, 9mg, 14.5mg, and 17.2mg tablets. Learn more at foundo.lilly.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.

• 21:44Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 22:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 22:29Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram's helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 22:48Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 23:07Dax Shepard?

  Dylan.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  How are you?

• 23:09Dax Shepard?

  Wonderful. Do you work in customer service? Are you a gamer? Why do you have this great headset?

• 23:13Speaker 03

  I do not, but I just got this from a new laptop box. So thanks for calling that out.

• 23:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. It just came as a free accessory?

• 23:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:21Dax Shepard?

  And Dylan, where are you?

• 23:22Speaker 03

  I'm in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Another Canadian. We just had a Canadian.

• 23:27Dax Shepard?

  You Canadians like to come on accident.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  I guess we do. I'm wondering if I could possibly be the most northern caller to Armchair Anonymous?

• 23:37Dax Shepard?

  How high up are you? Are you on the same latitude as parts of Alaska?

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. So not quite in the Arctic Circle, but close.

• 23:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh my goodness. And what are you doing up there?

• 23:46Speaker 03

  I'm a land surveyor.

• 23:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay. You've got the tripod and you're out there dialing that thing in.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  That's me.

• 23:53Dax Shepard?

  Were you like an outdoorsy kid? Were you a boy scouty type kid? How did you get drawn to that?

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, always outdoors. That's what kind of drew me to the profession.

• 24:01Dax Shepard?

  And do you have a lot of bear encounters?

• 24:03Speaker 03

  A couple polar bear stories.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool.

• 24:06Dax Shepard?

  So you have an unexpected orgasm story?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, and this is a bit of a twofer, kind of blends in the story with some lovely prompts that you love on I'm Sure Anonymous.

• 24:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful. This is great, great, great.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Okay, so I'll set the scene. So this was, I guess, 10 years ago now. My girlfriend at the time and her mother had just moved towns and they'd just gotten the keys to their new house. So we had decided we were gonna do renovations. We were gonna be painting all day. There were some tradesmen there doing some work on the house. So we get there, everything's going well, and I get the urge that I need to shit my pants. I need to use the bathroom now. So I'm weighing out my options. I am seeing that the plumber is now working on the toilet and is replacing that. So the toilet is on the back deck.

• 24:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  This being a new town, it's a Sunday morning, not really sure what's open.

• 25:00Dax Shepard?

  Also, how rural is this? Do they have neighbors? Could you shit in the woods?

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Great question. So I'm from a very rural area, but they just moved into like in-town limits.

• 25:09Dax Shepard?

  Shitting's frowned upon in the yard.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, and new neighbors. So it's a corner lot, so streets on two sides and then back to neighbors on the other. And I'm realizing that this is a very urgent situation. A little bit of backstory, pooping issues on my life. I would go days and days and days with a pooping and then your body's like, this is happening now.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it sounds like IBS.

• 25:30Dax Shepard?

  Or an opiate addiction, either or.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Hopefully the first. So I step out on the deck. I see that there's no real good spots in this new backyard to hide. I see the toilet on the deck. I'm like, well, maybe I could just, maybe I could just do that.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, that feels crazy.

• 25:47Dax Shepard?

  But better than pooping right on the deck.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  But then what? They're gonna bring it in with the poo.

• 25:51Dax Shepard?

  He's gonna then take it into the grass and take a hose and spray it all off, somehow without anyone knowing.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 25:57Dax Shepard?

  I mean, who knows?

• 25:58Speaker 03

  That would have been super logical. You know, you're not thinking straight at that time. So as I'm weighing out these options, I am also noticing that our elderly new neighbors are in their windows, just peeking at us and super excited to come say hi.

• 26:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  The only thing that I know is open, being the Sunday morning, there's a gas station about five Minutes away, I make the decision that I'm going to drive to this place, or at least find somewhere where I can go do my business. As I'm running to my car, the elderly couple step outside and how's it going? You know, trying to introduce yourself. I'm sorry, gotta go. Bye.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Good.

• 26:31Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  You have to protect yourself.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Not the time. So I'm in the car, I'm driving, you know, radio silent. And I'm realizing this is bad. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it. I'm looking around, seeing if I can just pull over anywhere. And I'm not seeing much, so I just decided I'm just gonna gun it to the gas station. I am clenching with everything I can, shoulders are backed up against the seat, left foot against the floorboards, and I'm now lifted up off the seat of the car. It's dire situation. And then all of a sudden, my legs start to tremble and I let out this guttural moan. My legs give out and I explode in my pants with semen.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 27:11Dax Shepard?

  With semen?

• 27:11Speaker 01

  What?

• 27:12Speaker 03

  I absolutely came and I was so confused.

• 27:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God, he blew.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 27:18Dax Shepard?

  Monty.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  This is so confusing.

• 27:22Dax Shepard?

  He was squeezing so tight and then somehow.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  Wow, okay.

• 27:26Dax Shepard?

  Did you have the waves and sensations of pleasure?

• 27:30Speaker 03

  It was an insane orgasm.

• 27:32Dax Shepard?

  Good or bad?

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Good.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  It was wild.

• 27:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh wow.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Okay, this is not that dissimilar from the last story.

• 27:39Dax Shepard?

  She had too much yawn. She had to pee her pants.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  The pressure that's happening below.

• 27:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, below deck.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Boy, did it build. Not only that, but I realized I think I've definitely shit my pants.

• 27:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay, at the same time, sure.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Lots going on down there. However, I'm still like super clenching and realizing like this is not done. So gas station in sight, I'm in total shock. I'm like, what just happened to my body?

• 28:05Speaker 01

  Wait, I'm sorry. I have a question really quick. So when do you think you got hard?

• 28:09Speaker 03

  That's such a great question. I'm so glad you asked.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  Not hard or aroused in the slightest bit. I was completely shocked.

• 28:17Dax Shepard?

  An erection-free, flaccid orgasm.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 28:21Dax Shepard?

  Wow. That's cool.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Should be studied.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  That's an anomaly.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I continue driving, still realizing that this is not over. I realize I have to go to the attendant, like at the front of the gas station, ask for the key. I'm like pulling down my sweater and the front of my jeans. I'm like crouching over. Probably looked more obvious realizing now as a sixteen year old boy.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Couple of seconds after the key, I'm hastily running into the bathroom because it's still a dire situation. And I don't even shut the stall door when I absolutely destroyed their bathroom. And pull down the pants and realize that, yep, full of cum and fair bit of shit in there.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. What a visual.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  So I did the only thing possible, which was to lie and tell my girlfriend that I wasn't feeling well. I threw my underwear out and I drove home in silence for forty five minutes questioning what just happened.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because you're sixteen, you're really liable to be afraid of any, like, uh oh. You're always waiting to find out there's something defective about you.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, the body just will betray us at any moment.

• 29:26Dax Shepard?

  Or reward us.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  No, no, because you don't, shitting in your car isn't fun.

• 29:31Dax Shepard?

  No, but the sprain.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  I know, but it's like, how did my body just do that without my permission?

• 29:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, now we're getting into some real familiar territory for you. PTSD. Oh, Dylan, what a lovely, yeah, double whammy.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Thanks for sharing.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. This is so cool that I'm getting the chance to talk to you guys. This is incredible. My sister loves Armchair Anonymous. We talk about them every week, and I didn't tell her I'm doing this.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Shout out.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  See when she pieces it together.

• 30:01Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's great meeting you, brother. I'm delighted there's someone at the top of the world listening to the show. It's kind of exciting. Be careful with the polar bears.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  Will do. Take care.

• 30:10Dax Shepard?

  Bye bye.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Bye. Hello.

• 30:13Speaker 05

  Can you hear me?

• 30:14Dax Shepard?

  Beautifully. Is it Kylie?

• 30:15Speaker 05

  It is.

• 30:16Dax Shepard?

  Where are you at, Kylie?

• 30:17Speaker 05

  I'm in San Marcos, Texas, right outside of Austin. Pretty sure that's where Monica almost drowned.

• 30:22Dax Shepard?

  Yes, we tube there, San Marcos River.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  That's where it was.

• 30:26Dax Shepard?

  Are you from there?

• 30:26Speaker 05

  I've lived here for about fifteen years.

• 30:29Dax Shepard?

  And do you love it? Do you recommend it?

• 30:30Speaker 05

  10 out of 10 recommend. San Marcos River is the best river in the world.

• 30:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I've tubed it like four or five times, I think. It's so delightful and it's warm.

• 30:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's 72 degrees in the water every day of the year. And then Texas is just hot all the time.

• 30:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, beautiful. So already, you know, you are a very kind looking, sweet looking person. I would even say just at first glance, maybe even shy. So this is really incredible that you're willing to share this story with us. It's very admirable.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  Thanks, y'all. I appreciate you giving me the opportunity.

• 31:02Dax Shepard?

  Are you shy? Yeah, and I get that wrong?

• 31:05Speaker 05

  I wouldn't say I'm normally shy. I think talking about this is a little out of my comfort zone. A couple of people really strongly recommend. I don't use my real first name, but I'm going for it.

• 31:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good job. Okay, well, you've heard our previous one, right? Aren't they so life affirming? Like, they just make you happy, these stories generally.

• 31:25Speaker 05

  Totally. I went back and re-listened to them and it gave me some confidence.

• 31:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. Set the scene for us.

• 31:32Speaker 05

  Okay, so I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa, and I was a horse girl through and through. Loved riding horses, started when I was a little girl, taking lessons at the barn. I'd worked out a deal with the barn where I could feed in muck stalls on the weekends to help pay for my lessons. My dad was a school teacher, my mom was a nurse. So we didn't have tons of extra income to support this very expensive habit, but they were able to scrape it together to get me this discount right off the track thoroughbred. And I was really excited.

• 32:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 32:06Speaker 05

  My friends had these fancy imported warm bloods, but I was happy with my guy.

• 32:12Dax Shepard?

  And aren't those racehorses, they're real twitchy and kind of erratic, no? It takes a lot to ride one of those successfully.

• 32:18Speaker 05

  Big time. And this one hadn't been trained very well. All he knew how to do was go really fast.

• 32:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 32:25Speaker 05

  So in the winters, it's really snowy in Iowa, so we're not able to ride outside. So we get switched to the indoor arena. And one of the things our trainers do during our lessons is take our saddles away from us sometimes. Just to help work on building stability, balance, create good core engagement. In the winters, we would just kind of get in that routine of not riding with saddles. So one winter day, I go to the barn. It wasn't for a lesson. It was just a normal training ride. And I wanted to be a good student. So I was like, you know what? We'll forego the saddle. I've got this. When you're riding, there's a few different gates. There's the really gentle walk, pretty self-explanatory.

• 33:05Speaker 05

  Then you go into a trot, which is a lot bouncier, not super comfortable when you have a saddle. Definitely not comfortable when you don't have a saddle. And then there's the canter, which is this really nice kind of loping gate. My horse, the retired racehorse that he was, he was always wanting to go as fast as he could during this. So it was this like push-pull kind of dynamic between the two of us. But we get into the canter. It's going great. He's pulling a little bit. I start to notice these kind of spasms in my abdominals. I don't think too much of it. Bring him back to a walk, take a little bit of a breather. Then we get back into it. We're cantering. He's trying to go fast. Bring him back. We get into this good flow.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  And these spasms are getting a little bit more intense, a little bit more sensational. Oh. And they start going a little further south, like what you guys would call PQs. Yeah. I'm experiencing the PQs.

• 34:02Dax Shepard?

  Can I ask quickly, your backstory at this age, you'd had orgasms already or no? No.

• 34:08Speaker 05

  No.

• 34:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I think that's an important detail. Yeah.

• 34:10Speaker 05

  It's like what's happening.

• 34:11Dax Shepard?

  You're not very familiar with all the stuff that's happening.

• 34:14Speaker 05

  No, I was not sure what was going on. I liked it.

• 34:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:19Speaker 05

  Wasn't sure what was about to happen. And so as I'm feeling these sensations, I'm starting to squeeze him tighter, which indicates to him.

• 34:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 34:30Speaker 05

  Go faster.

• 34:31Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 34:33Speaker 05

  So he's going faster and I'm feeling more sensation and more sensation.

• 34:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. What will give?

• 34:42Speaker 05

  I just remember the world starts to get spotty and then dark. And I can feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head. And my mouth is open and I'm for sure making a noise. Wait, are you by yourself?

• 34:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, how visible are you to the coach?

• 35:00Speaker 05

  This wasn't a lesson, thankfully, but my friend was there and I bring my horse back to a walk. I feel this intense sensation of wetness. Oh, wow. And he's just looking at me like, you're good?

• 35:19Speaker 05

  I'm like, this guy just had an orgasm. Okay, good.

• 35:23Dax Shepard?

  So did you know? Yeah, was it obvious to you once it happened like, oh, that was an orgasm?

• 35:28Speaker 05

  For sure. I was like, that's what it had to have been. But I think there were two things at work. I think the stimulation of not having the saddle, but also having the core engagement, the squeezing of the abdominal muscles. I think that at 15, I was really shown like what a double orgasm. What?

• 35:51Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 35:52Speaker 05

  That is so exciting.

• 35:53Dax Shepard?

  And do you think your friend had any idea or they missed it?

• 35:56Speaker 05

  And I was like making noises. She for sure knew something was up.

• 36:03Dax Shepard?

  Now, this has got to be an incredibly common occurrence, right? I've heard from many women who ride horses that they've had orgasms on the horse. Is it kind of like standard? Have you seen anyone else have one?

• 36:14Speaker 05

  I haven't talked to anybody else that has. I don't know if we're all super loud and proud about it.

• 36:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  I do think the bareback factor, though, really added more to this.

• 36:28Dax Shepard?

  Now, so if I'm you and I'm 15 and I have that experience, I'm like, when are we riding again?

• 36:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:33Dax Shepard?

  Did you want that to happen again and again?

• 36:35Speaker 05

  I knew the addict in you would ask that.

• 36:38Dax Shepard?

  You knew.

• 36:39Speaker 05

  So so often, growing up, the middle school and high school guys would be like, do you fuck your horse?

• 36:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, uh huh.

• 36:47Speaker 05

  Eye roll, you know? So I think that I didn't want to be like too much of a horse girl.

• 36:52Dax Shepard?

  So you're a little nervous to actually commit to that.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Well, you don't want that to be your identity.

• 36:56Dax Shepard?

  I think it's.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Girl that fucks horses.

• 36:58Dax Shepard?

  But there's a big difference between riding a horse and having an accidental orgasm.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Kind of a small difference.

• 37:03Dax Shepard?

  You think it's a small dog? I think it's a pretty material difference.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  That's so exciting. Did it ever happen again?

• 37:08Speaker 05

  It didn't happen again. It was a one and done. I'm glad it happened, but I'm also happy that it was just once.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Did you feel a little like next time you saw the horse, you felt like you didn't want to like look at him in the eye?

• 37:20Dax Shepard?

  Shy?

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, shy.

• 37:21Speaker 05

  I gave him extra treats that night. I was like, good boy.

• 37:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Were you like, God, we're really simpatico. We work really well together.

• 37:30Dax Shepard?

  You're kind of asking if she fell in love with the horse afterwards?

• 37:34Speaker 05

  He set the standard for me. I'll say that. Like, level up, gentlemen.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right.

• 37:41Dax Shepard?

  Did he bite people? They're really high strung, those racehorses, no? Or is that a stereotype?

• 37:45Speaker 05

  He didn't bite people, but there was definitely a time the barn was getting fed while I was taking him out for a lesson. And he was pointed at the barn. And as I was getting on him, he just ran through the fence, splintered the fence and went right back into his stall to eat his dinner.

• 38:02Dax Shepard?

  All right. Yeah. So explosive. That's what you want in a racehorse.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  Oh, well, wily.

• 38:08Dax Shepard?

  Well, Kylie, that's a very innocent and cute story.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  I loved that. And that was very exciting.

• 38:13Dax Shepard?

  And Monica would have been in love with the horse.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Well.

• 38:17Speaker 05

  Can I do a quick shout out?

• 38:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you can do a ton.

• 38:20Speaker 05

  I want to do a shout out to my soulmate Kelly and Taylor Goodman. They're both big arm cherries and excited that I get to talk to you guys today. And then Dax, I'm in recovery and day seven came out when I was really coming to terms with how dangerous and toxic my drinking was. I just want to say thank you so much for being so open and transparent. The biggest thing that you did for me was you really gave me hope. That there was a beautiful life on the other side of addiction. I saw that you were successful and you had a family and friends and just this beautiful

• 39:00Speaker 05

  life that I didn't think I would ever have access to and that I didn't deserve. And so I just can't thank you enough for being a beacon of hope to all of us that have experienced the turmoil and tragedy of addiction.

• 39:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man. Thank you. My pleasure. That's wild. I'm happy it helped you. How long have you been sober?

• 39:19Speaker 05

  Almost a year.

• 39:21Dax Shepard?

  Awesome.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  I had some time stacked up and then I tried it one more time.

• 39:26Dax Shepard?

  Gonna do it like a lady this time?

• 39:27Speaker 05

  Still wasn't great.

• 39:28Dax Shepard?

  Still wasn't a lady about it.

• 39:30Speaker 05

  Definitely not.

• 39:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, every guy, you know, his big fantasy is like he'll be able to drink a glass of wine like a gentleman.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:38Dax Shepard?

  So he's like associated somehow you'll do it very classy.

• 39:40Speaker 05

  Two bottles later, you're like, wait, that was not the plan.

• 39:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, when I'm asking the 80 year old bartender at the VFW if he knows where to get coke, yo, I guess I was a gentleman.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  I guess I wasn't exactly gentlemanly. Well, that's awesome. Congratulations.

• 39:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so nice meeting you. Thanks for saying that.

• 39:57Speaker 05

  Thanks so much, y'all. I appreciate it. Bye.

• 39:59Dax Shepard?

  Bye. I want to go ride a horse now.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  I liked that, but I'm not into riding horses.

• 40:06Dax Shepard?

  Right, you're scared of them.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, they kick you and you internal bleed.

• 40:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, if you get behind them a lot.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Well, if you fall off, that's how it happens a lot.

• 40:14Dax Shepard?

  They come around and turn and start kicking you.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  They kick you. This is real.

• 40:19Dax Shepard?

  You mean step on you?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  And they freak out and they're like doing, they, you know, they move their legs around and then you're on the ground, they kick you. You know, when you asked if they, you bit anyone?

• 40:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  That also could be part of the falling in love with it, though, because some people like biting in sexual activity. It came up yesterday because we were talking about necks. I think necks are very attractive and you kind of want to like put your mouth on it.

• 40:48Dax Shepard?

  Nibble. You want to nibble it, yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, a little bit.

• 40:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, chum, chum, chum.

• 41:00Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment, or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  You know, I love therapy more than anything. Gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.

• 41:49Dax Shepard?

  You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it. And I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds once it's out into the world. You gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 42:05Dax Shepard?

  If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Do yourself a favor and just try it. Future you will be grateful. Visit betterhelp.com/dax to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash DAX.

• 42:33Speaker 06

  If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. It's destroying athlete, creator, and YouTube Maxer. YouTube Premium enhances how I use YouTube with awesome features like offline downloads so I can download my favorite training videos before I hit the gym. So no Wi-Fi doesn't turn leg day into loading day. Plus I get ad-free videos, background play, and so much more. YouTube Premium, it's like YouTube got some extra gains. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium.

• 43:03Speaker 07

  Hey what's up guys, it's Haley Bailey. Okay, I need to tell you about something. I just got YouTube Premium. It's got tons of awesome features like offline downloads, so I can download my favorite videos before I travel and watch them whenever I don't have wifi. Because we all know airplane wifi is the worst. I get ad free, I get background play, and there's like a ton more in there. You should try it. If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. So try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies, terms apply, cancel anytime. That's a mouthful.

• 43:40Dax Shepard?

  Hello.

• 43:41Speaker 08

  Oh, hi.

• 43:42Dax Shepard?

  And I see your name is in quotes, so is that a fake name you've already supplied? Or do we gotta come up with one for you?

• 43:47Speaker 08

  I've supplied Cynthia.

• 43:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I appreciate that. A lot of people make us do the work for them. I had to name someone Betsy earlier today.

• 43:55Speaker 08

  Oh, did you?

• 43:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And is Cynthia someone in your life that you like? We find that that's often what people do when they pick a fake name for this.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Or you don't like.

• 44:03Speaker 08

  Actually, it was the name my dad wanted to call me.

• 44:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it is, okay.

• 44:08Speaker 08

  I always say I'm glad we didn't because I think if my nickname was Cynthia, my life could have took a whole new direction.

• 44:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, right.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  Oh, sure.

• 44:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that would be an easy nickname to come up with. And where are you Cynthia?

• 44:17Speaker 08

  I'm in Canada.

• 44:18Dax Shepard?

  Get out of here, we're three for four.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, three for four Canadians.

• 44:22Dax Shepard?

  You Canadians like to unexpectedly orgasm. We now have enough data.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  That is enough.

• 44:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's plenty.

• 44:28Dax Shepard?

  A sample of four. So please set the scene for us Cynthia.

• 44:32Speaker 08

  Okay, this all started eight years ago. I drive to work every morning. It's a 45-minute drive, I enjoy it. I'm driving and I always have to pass over a train track. This one day I passed over the train track and it felt a little better than normal. So I pass over it and that led to what I'd like to call an unexpected celebration.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:53Speaker 08

  And I'm thinking, okay, what's happening here? You know, I thought maybe it was menopause, my hormones are fluctuating. So I kind of go on my way. And a couple of days later, same thing happened.

• 45:04Dax Shepard?

  After the first time as you approached the railroad tracks, are you starting to already get a little titillated? Like it could happen again?

• 45:10Speaker 08

  No, just enjoying the drive, having my tea, relaxing. And I thought maybe I was tense, so I just tried to relax as much as I could. And the same thing happened.

• 45:19Dax Shepard?

  And Cynthia, is it a full orgasm or it is the hints of an orgasm?

• 45:23Speaker 08

  No, it led up to a full one.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 45:26Dax Shepard?

  What a blessing.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  How big of a track.

• 45:28Speaker 08

  Well, the first time I kind of wanted to back up, go forward, back up and go forward. It was exciting.

• 45:33Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yeah.

• 45:34Speaker 08

  But what if it happened again? I'm like, oh, something's going on here. So I was a little nervous more so. I thought, should I pull off to the side of the road? What should I do? So no, I thought, you know, I'm a woman, I can multitask. There's no one on the highway. I should be good. Couple of weeks pass and my ex-husband and I are gone out to watch some music. It's a little dive bar that has some really great local music. Place is dark and without warning, we're sitting there and I have a full-blown.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  No, out of nowhere.

• 46:02Speaker 08

  Yes, not even a hint of anything. I'm like, what the fuck is happening to me? I was really freaked out.

• 46:09Dax Shepard?

  You were scared something was wrong with you, maybe medically?

• 46:11Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 46:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 46:12Speaker 08

  That's when it was, this is not just hormonal fluctuation here. So I looked at my ex, he didn't even know what to do, what to say. And I said, I have no idea where that came from or how that happened. Luckily, it was dark, the music was loud and I wasn't in front of anybody.

• 46:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 46:30Dax Shepard?

  He detected it?

• 46:31Speaker 08

  Well, yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 08

  Yes, he did.

• 46:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, yeah.

• 46:35Speaker 08

  And I thought, okay, I need to get to the doctor. So you don't get it the next day with doctor's appointments. So I had to wait a little bit. While I was waiting for my appointment, I think it was like a week or four days, we decided to go curling. I've only been twice in my life.

• 46:50Dax Shepard?

  Can we just say really quick for the folks not familiar with curling, this is a thing you've seen in the Olympics. There's a huge stone that gets slid down ice and there's little brooms and you're going next to it, right?

• 46:59Speaker 08

  Yeah, I'd equate it to shuffleboard, but on ice. So anyway, one of our teammates, we're talking and stuff, he comes up from behind me, puts his hand on my shoulders. And I feel another one.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 47:11Speaker 08

  So I twist around really quickly and I lose my footing on the ice and I fall down, but I caught myself enough. It looks like I'm just doing a push up, you know? I just caught myself about five centimeters from my nose planting on the ice. So I'm totally discombobulated. It's not dark. There's no music. I can't hide this.

• 47:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 08

  But the whole idea of me falling, I think, shocked my body somehow. So everybody, you know, are you okay? You okay? And I'm like, okay, they're concentrating on that. That's perfect. And I have to make up a bit of an excuse. I said, yep, I'm fine. Just not feeling really great. So I think I'm going to sit the rest of the game out. They don't think anything of it. They just think, okay, she slipped. And I can be known the odd time to be clumsy. My doctor's appointment's coming. I go to the doctor. Now, my doctor is very abrupt. She's eighty three. She's probably eighty four or five this year.

• 48:01Dax Shepard?

  She's running out of time.

• 48:02Speaker 08

  Yeah. She comes in and says, okay, what can I help you with today? And I break into tears because I have to tell her and I feel a lot of shame over this.

• 48:11Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Uh huh. Just so stupid, but yeah, very human.

• 48:14Speaker 08

  Oh, yeah, I know. I feel like a freak. I kept saying, what is going on with me? I tell her I have involuntary orgasms.

• 48:21Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 48:21Speaker 08

  And she looked at me in shock and she said, oh, my God, don't tell anybody that. They'll laugh at you.

• 48:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 48:27Speaker 08

  That's okay. You have to know the doctor. That's what I expected from her. I said, no, I don't plan on telling a lot of people. Right, sure. She says, I'll make some referrals for you. We go three years. It's very hard to find somebody to help with this. I've gone on the internet. I've contacted some people, but they just said, we only do the research in it. We're not doctors. We can't help you.

• 48:50Dax Shepard?

  And are you finding though, in your internet searches, that there are other people that have this condition? Is that happening? And if so, is that comforting at all?

• 48:57Speaker 08

  What I found out was that it says there was only four percent of women have this.

• 49:02Dax Shepard?

  More than I would have thought.

• 49:03Speaker 08

  Yeah. I had to take some time off work. I work in the public sector and searching and trying to find my own information.

• 49:09Dax Shepard?

  Is there any part of your brain that's suggesting that maybe you just enjoy this? Or is that completely out of the realm of reasoning?

• 49:18Speaker 08

  No, it's not enjoyable anymore.

• 49:19Dax Shepard?

  And over that course of three years, is it happening often? Is it increasing or staying the same?

• 49:25Speaker 08

  When I'm off work, I'm more relaxed than the more relaxed I am. The less it occurs.

• 49:31Dax Shepard?

  Interesting. So it's like a stress response.

• 49:33Speaker 08

  Yes. So I thought perhaps that's what's going on is something psychological. But it's still occurring and I really don't know what to do. My kids are worried about me because they're saying, Mom, you're, I feel like you're isolating yourself. And I said, I just need to spend some time. I told them it was menopause. So then life threw me a bit of a change. My mom passes away unexpectedly. My husband and I break up two months later and then I find out the next year that my dad has cancer and I take care of him.

• 50:00Dax Shepard?

  Aye, aye, aye.

• 50:01Speaker 08

  Now I bring this up because for some reason, I don't know if it's just someone's looking out for me to give me a break some way, but everything kind of calmed down then, which I wouldn't expect because that was the most stressful year and a half of my entire life. I come home and I go back to work and it starts again. So I'm thinking, wow, I must find my job really stressful because this seems to be when it's happening and it gets worse. So I try to get accommodations for my work. I finally find out that what I have is called PGAD, persistent genital arousal disorder.

• 50:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 50:35Speaker 08

  And it's a disorder. So they're supposed to give me accommodations, but they keep saying, the lawyer said, we don't have to. To fight that would have brought a lot more stress.

• 50:42Dax Shepard?

  And really quick, when you get this diagnosis, is there any prescription available or is there any treatment that's known for it?

• 50:48Speaker 08

  No, there is a medication, but I'm having severe menopausal symptoms as well at the time. So I didn't want to mess up too much with that, but I'm just happy. It's a big relief because there's a label to it.

• 50:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so it's comforting. I'm not alone.

• 51:01Speaker 08

  That's mostly how I was feeling at that time. And it just happened that the same week I find a psychotherapist. The next problem's over. It's probably a two hour drive or so. And she says that she can see me as a patient. So I go to her the first time I drive there and she says she thinks the treatment for me is to masturbate more. And I said, okay, I'm single, you know, I'm not sure how much more I could do of this, but I'll give it my best.

• 51:30Dax Shepard?

  By the way, no one's ever been given that homework. I know, I know. You need to jerk off more.

• 51:34Speaker 08

  It doesn't get rid of it. I go to her three times. I'm not getting anywhere. $300 every time. Same week I find a practitioner in my hometown that I've never seen before. And I call and talk to him and I said, I've been looking for eight years. I can't believe that I haven't seen you in any of my searches. And he informs me that the week before they changed their Google analytics. Because people were finding him all over the world and not locally.

• 52:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, weird.

• 52:03Speaker 08

  So he treats people from all over the world for different symptoms, not just this. So I tell him what I have. He says, yes, I've treated women that have this. And he says, make an appointment and come in. So he does an exam on my abdomen and he says, oh, you've got a lot of shit in there. And I said, oh, okay. I didn't think that had anything to do with it.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Like literally?

• 52:24Speaker 08

  Yeah, that's what I thought he meant. He said, no, you have a lot of scar tissue in there.

• 52:28Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 52:28Speaker 08

  And he said, you've had surgery on your abdomen. I said, I had a hysterectomy 22 years ago. And he says, the scar tissue is pushing down or pinching on a nerve that's leading to your vagina.

• 52:40Dax Shepard?

  Ah, your clitoris, most specifically, probably.

• 52:42Speaker 08

  Yes. And that's what's causing the orgasms.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 52:46Dax Shepard?

  It was mechanical.

• 52:47Speaker 08

  Yeah, I just felt like this guy was my new best friend. So anyway, we had treatment. Now, the treatment is shock wave therapy. It's a gadget that he can hold in his hand, but the treatment is like a jackhammer. It's breaking it up. I guess they use the same therapy to break gallstones.

• 53:02Dax Shepard?

  Now, inappropriate question, but feels on topic.

• 53:05Speaker 08

  Look what we're talking about here.

• 53:06Dax Shepard?

  Do you ever orgasm while the jackhammer is happening?

• 53:09Speaker 08

  No.

• 53:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay, because you'd be hitting the scar tissue that's hitting the nerve and now we got repetitive jackhammering.

• 53:15Speaker 08

  Good question. It's very painful. I've had two children. I said, this feels like labor. He says, yeah, that's what a lot of women say.

• 53:22Dax Shepard?

  And how long would these sessions be?

• 53:24Speaker 08

  An hour, and that's why there would be a week break. I'm not sure if it's six or eight times I did it. It got less painful as we went because there was less there. Finally, I got rid of it. I felt, I guess, what it feels like to be reborn or something. That's one of the reasons I want to tell the story because I said, yeah, I hear it's only 4% of women. He says, oh, no, it's much more than that. People are just too embarrassed. He treats women, I don't know how often, but he says, I've been doing this for years.

• 53:50Dax Shepard?

  And is it generally that situation where there's some kind of scar tissue? Or could it run a gamut of causes?

• 53:56Speaker 08

  No, he asked me, the first question was, have you had surgery in your abdomen? So that's usually what it is.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. How interesting.

• 54:04Dax Shepard?

  This is fascinating. This one got medical in a most interesting way. Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Hopefully this helps somebody.

• 54:10Speaker 08

  I was really nervous because I do work in the public sector and I don't want anybody to know who I am. But I I didn't want that to take away from the fact that if anybody could feel like, wow, that has a label, they could get treatment for it. I was told after that he treated someone that had it for 20 years.

• 54:26Dax Shepard?

  Whoa.

• 54:28Speaker 08

  Her outlook on sex was that she never even wanted to go near it again because she didn't have the pleasure of it. It was more.

• 54:37Dax Shepard?

  The annoyance of it, yeah.

• 54:38Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 54:39Dax Shepard?

  Well, Cynthia, this was kind of a public service announcement.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly.

• 54:43Speaker 08

  I just want to help somebody not feel alone.

• 54:45Dax Shepard?

  So how long have you been free of this?

• 54:47Speaker 08

  Just since the summer.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 54:49Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no kidding. Wow.

• 54:51Speaker 08

  Back to work full time, no issues. I can concentrate on my day and what's in front of me and enjoy my life.

• 54:57Dax Shepard?

  Probably gives you so much anxiety, just like, oh, God, I'm going to dysfunction. Is it gonna happen here? I'm gonna be with my kids. Is it gonna happen there? Yeah, probably a ton of anxiety.

• 55:06Speaker 08

  I actually didn't go very far. That's why my kids were saying, Mom. I had to tell them because they were getting really worried about me and they thought I was really depressed. I was in my room a lot because I thought I don't even want to be by anybody, especially my children.

• 55:17Speaker 01

  Right, that's so tough.

• 55:18Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no. It's probably the last thing you want to do.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  Wow. Thank you so much for sharing.

• 55:22Dax Shepard?

  Incredible story. Yeah, thank you.

• 55:24Speaker 08

  You're welcome. It was really nice meeting you guys.

• 55:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you too. Stay warm up in Canada and happy holidays.

• 55:29Speaker 08

  All the best.

• 55:30Dax Shepard?

  Take care.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 55:33Dax Shepard?

  Unexpected.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  We really learned something big.

• 55:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  PEGAD. It makes sense.

• 55:39Dax Shepard?

  It certainly does.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  The body is wild.

• 55:42Dax Shepard?

  I still have a hard time not being jealous of it. I recognize it would be inconvenient.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  It would be bad if you were like at your kid's school event.

• 55:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. In the middle of an interview. And I just had to be like, like, you guys would all know, but the guest would never.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  But then we'd have to, because the guest would be like, he has PEGAD.

• 56:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  And then we have to tell her.

• 56:05Dax Shepard?

  But then they'd be like, are you damp now? It's best that they don't know. Because they're gonna know, like, are you damp now?

• 56:09Speaker 01

  I don't want them to ask about damp.

• 56:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I don't either. Can men get PEGAD? I hope.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  No.

• 56:15Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't want to jinx myself. Fuck, I'm a little on the fence still. Yes, men can get it.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, can.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  So for anyone listening, if this is happening, you got scar tissue, bro.

• 56:27Dax Shepard?

  You're gonna have to go up to Canada for treatment, but that's okay. It's a great place to visit.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 56:31Dax Shepard?

  All right, well, that was sensational.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  For another great one in the books.

• 56:36Dax Shepard?

  There'll be a third for sure. All right, love you.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Love you.

• 56:41Dax Shepard?

  Do you wanna sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Oh. Okay, great.

• 56:46Dax Shepard?

  We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, a rhyme dish. On the fly, a rhyme dish. Enjoy.