MBMBaM 768: Face 2 Face: No Toes as a General Rule

We crawled out of the Other Worlds to bring you this show LIVE from Columbus, OH. It's a weird and wonderful show full of colorful mascots, colorful gyms, mysterious flesh wounds, and Travis giving actually very good advice that fixes everything. Suggested taking points: Alien Shit for Big Boys to Swing On, Late-Stage Beatle, Blood-Emitting Sections of the Body, Incognito Gnome, Scuber Mascot Madness slides: https://www.themcelroy.family/content/uploads/2025/06/Mascot-Madness_-University-Edition.pdf Transgender Law Center: https://transgenderlawcenter.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Travis McElroy?

  The McElroy brothers are not experts.

• 0:05Travis McElroy?

  And their advice should never be followed.

• 0:09Travis McElroy?

  Old Travis insists he's a sexpert. But there's a degree on his wall. I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids. Which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool babies?

• 1:18Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:29Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother, Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy.

• 1:37Travis McElroy?

  Hey, what's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet, baby brother, Griffin3030, Media Illuminary, Bill4ToughMcElroy.

• 1:50Travis McElroy?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:53Travis McElroy?

  Today, we traveled to another world. True. True. A world of a lot of sensory input all at the same time for men who average age forty.

• 2:07Griffin McElroy?

  True.

• 2:09Travis McElroy?

  And then, we were told we weren't allowed to climb on shit.

• 2:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So, Otherworld was a truly transportive, wonderful experience, and you all are lucky to have it here. Uh, it's a wonderful place, but they do need to let big boys climb on stuff.

• 2:26Travis McElroy?

  Cause they made everything look so fucking climbable!

• 2:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I think it's fucked up how they don't let big boys climb on stuff, or hang on stuff, or draw on stuff.

• 2:37Travis McElroy?

  We decided to make this the launch point for our Anotherworld, this after theirs.

• 2:43Griffin McElroy?

  Apostrophe in Anotherworld.

• 2:46Travis McElroy?

  And in ours- We're gonna put it in the empty Best Buy right next door to theirs.

• 2:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:51Travis McElroy?

  I think it's in Abandoned Circuit City. Is it in Abandoned Circuit City? No, it's blue!

• 2:55Griffin McElroy?

  Doesn't matter, soon it's gonna be full of alien shit for big boys to swing on.

• 3:01Travis McElroy?

  And ladders? Fuck yeah, ladders!

• 3:03Griffin McElroy?

  There's gonna be ladders for you to play on too, for sure.

• 3:07Travis McElroy?

  And you know when you go to an escape room and they're like, "We put stickers on vents and shit that you don't pull off the walls?" The stickers are for things you should pull off the walls. Yeah. The vents are suggestions.

• 3:19Travis McElroy?

  The vents are opening offers. You guys see what's behind those guys?

• 3:22Griffin McElroy?

  Also, if you're a kid at Anotherworld, you can't complain about how tired you are.

• 3:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:28Griffin McElroy?

  And also, if you see an adult that's working hard on one of the puzzles, you have to let him do it.

• 3:36Griffin McElroy?

  You have to let him do it before you just start hitting a bunch of switches and buttons.

• 3:40Travis McElroy?

  Cause it's the order of things, Tyler. I went green, blue, and then you just hit red and orange.

• 3:46Griffin McElroy?

  I'm trying to milk a space cow, Tyler. Get the fuck out of here!

• 3:51Travis McElroy?

  I don't care if it's your birthday.

• 3:55Griffin McElroy?

  Otherworld really made a choice with the space cow milking room. The rest of it, I was like, I see where you're going with this. And then you do turn a corner, it's like, milk this fucking huge space cow. I was like, whoa.

• 4:06Travis McElroy?

  What I love, it really did highlight how it was for all ages. Cause at one point, there was like weird vines, right? That had like utter like growths out of them. And I watched Henry, who's eight, be like, oh, udders, and grab one of the teeths.

• 4:18Griffin McElroy?

  I watched our dad.

• 4:19Travis McElroy?

  And then I saw our dad do it.

• 4:22Griffin McElroy?

  Our dad tried to milk a big inflatable tentacle and it was like, is this?

• 4:29Griffin McElroy?

  Do we need to have a talk?

• 4:30Travis McElroy?

  And no one was looking. It wasn't a bit for a kid. It was done in a lot of sincerity.

• 4:34Griffin McElroy?

  I think he thought a puzzle was gonna come squirting out.

• 4:38Travis McElroy?

  I was puzzled, to be fair. If you haven't been to the Otherworld, it's in a, um, it's in a strip mall that is largely abandoned. It's one of the most abandoned places I've ever seen. It looks like an EMP went off and just all the stores, except for this Otherworld, right? So it's this large black obelisk in the middle of this largely abandoned area. And then it just says Otherworld in nondescript letters outside. And I kept thinking, I get it now that there's reviews and stuff online. But the first person who's in one of the most, the scariest, most abandoned places I've ever been, and they see a sign that says Otherworld. Do you know how raw it has to be for you to be like, eh, fuck it?

• 5:23Travis McElroy?

  I'm, yeah, I'll get, you know what? Fuck it. I'll give it a shot. Why not? It's gotta beat this, right? Come on, let's go. Let's roll the dice. I was expecting to see a sign as we pulled up that it just said, this can't be the right place, Plaza. Yeah, but it is. This can't be it. Oh, there it is.

• 5:38Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you for having us, Otherworld. Don't yell at us next time. We're big, we're fucking high rollers.

• 5:42Travis McElroy?

  We're big boys. We work hard, grown up jobs and pay taxes so that we can climb on shit.

• 5:47Griffin McElroy?

  Cosi lets me climb on stuff.

• 5:49Travis McElroy?

  That's right. Cosi'll let you wrestle the, play the rats in basketball.

• 5:54Griffin McElroy?

  If you give him a hundred dollars.

• 5:55Travis McElroy?

  COSI will let you, COSI lets you touch a, a breast.

• 5:59Griffin McElroy?

  It's true, Griffin.

• 6:00Travis McElroy?

  To be fair, Otherworld did too.

• 6:03Griffin McElroy?

  A cow, but it was that of a space cow, yeah.

• 6:06Travis McElroy?

  Well, don't get choosy.

• 6:08Griffin McElroy?

  I remember going to, seeing the breast exam demonstration at COSI when I was way too young to take that seriously in the way that it deserves. And I was also there on a youth group trip, and that's when the wheels really started to fall off the wagon for me, I think, in my walk, so to speak.

• 6:30Travis McElroy?

  Cause you were like, this is way better than anything that Jesus guy did.

• 6:33Griffin McElroy?

  I was worried, I was worried someone was in the youth group was gonna see me do it. So then I went right next door to the, the testicular check area, just to be like, alright, I'm here, I'm a scientist, I'm a doctor.

• 6:48Travis McElroy?

  I'm going to the Columbus Zoo on Saturday specifically to see their wombat. Wombats are my favorite animal, and they're one of the only, like, only four zoos in the US that have one. I believe his name is Glenn.

• 7:00Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking good.

• 7:03Travis McElroy?

  That's a great wombat name. That sounds like a wombat who has some worries.

• 7:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:07Travis McElroy?

  Right, I picture Glenn like, oh fuck, I was, I was supposed to turn that reporting yesterday. God damn it. I desperately want to hug the wombat, as this might be my only chance ever to meet one. They are so round and adorable, but the zoo doesn't offer any option to give them extra money to pet or meet them, like they do with some of the other animals. You know the ones. You know. How, you heard the rumors. How can I get them to let me hug the wombat? That's from wanting the wombat from Williamsport. Are you here?

• 7:43Griffin McElroy?

  Hello?

• 7:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you are. Don't be embarrassed. I just wanna say, hearing it said many times by my brother out loud, I don't think wombat is the right name for that creature.

• 7:54Griffin McElroy?

  Alright.

• 7:55Travis McElroy?

  Cause it's not, it doesn't have many bat-like features.

• 7:59Griffin McElroy?

  We're not gonna.

• 7:59Travis McElroy?

  And it's a big, when I hear wombat, what I want is a koala with bat wings.

• 8:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:06Travis McElroy?

  That's what it should be, and I'm now realizing, I don't know what a wombat actually looks like.

• 8:11Griffin McElroy?

  I'm realizing that too, yeah.

• 8:12Travis McElroy?

  I'm just picturing a koala with bat wings, and I think I have been all day, and thinking, yeah.

• 8:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's exactly, you got it in one. All I remember is that they shit cubes, and that's alright with me. Pretty cool.

• 8:24Travis McElroy?

  I think you could get away with asking. I mean, they might not say yes, but I don't think that you become like a zookeeper without being interested in hugging the animals at the zoo. I think that that's probably your starting point.

• 8:37Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, you think that's the qualification?

• 8:40Travis McElroy?

  No, I didn't say you don't, you have to be qualified in hugging. I said an interest in it, that when you're like eight years old, you're like, I want to hug that wombat, so I'm going to go to years of schooling to become a zookeeper so I can hug that wombat when no one's looking. It's okay to not have an interest in hugging to be a zookeeper. I don't think an interest in hugging should disqualify you, though. I'm not saying a qualification. I'm not saying they ask you in the job interview, hey, do you like hugging? Mmm, get out.

• 9:07Griffin McElroy?

  I think what Travis is saying is that there probably isn't a zookeeper who, when they wander into the panda exhibit and the panda comes to hug their leg, they're like, oh, fuck, gross!

• 9:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:17Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, gross!

• 9:18Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 9:18Griffin McElroy?

  Ew, gross, get off!

• 9:19Travis McElroy?

  Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!

• 9:20Griffin McElroy?

  It's so fuzzy, fuck, gross, fuck!

• 9:22Travis McElroy?

  What I'm saying is that hugging is one of nature's first attacks. And I think that if you are dumb enough to get lured in by animal hugs, I don't want you working at my zoo. No, there's a high turnover rate, for sure.

• 9:36Griffin McElroy?

  Can you say you are a location scout for some sort of wombat-based film? Maybe "We Bought a Zoo Too"? It's front of mind for me right now in this present moment.

• 9:49Travis McElroy?

  "Wombatman Begins".

• 9:50Griffin McElroy?

  "Wombatman Begins" is pretty good, Travis. Yeah, absolutely, we'll allow it. You could say that you are the assistant of a perverse billionaire who really wants to touch this wombat, but you were sent in as the advance team.

• 10:07Travis McElroy?

  He has certain specifications he's looking for.

• 10:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, and then you can get in there with the wombat, really pick it up and examine it, and then set it down and be like, no. He's not right.

• 10:18Travis McElroy?

  This isn't the one. You'll give the wombat a complex, too. It'll be a great afternoon. What if you were the first one to ask? And they're like, "Yeah, you totally can. No one's ever asked before." "Yeah, ask it. Why would we have wombats and not let people hug them? That's mean." I think you've kind of messed yourself up here by considering this one of the opportunities you have to hug a wombat. Because you're saying it's the only chance you're gonna have. And I just want to remind you, it is also still not that. Like, just because... It's the closest to an opportunity. Just because you are in physical proximity to it does not mean this is like your chance to do it, right? You still can't. There's still quite a few.

• 10:59Travis McElroy?

  The physical distance between you and the wombat is not the preliminary only problem keeping you from hugging the wombat. Now, let's assume that a zoo, like, uh, membership with as many times going as you want is financially feasible for you. How many times do you think they would have to go? And how long each time would they have to stand looking longingly at the wombat exhibit before a zoo employee was like, "Okay, fine." Well, Trav, one of two things is gonna happen. Either a zoo employee will take pity, or they will eventually spot a crack. You're eventually gonna... I see a weakness in their defenses. You're just gonna be like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, just like slipping past

• 11:44Travis McElroy?

  the guards to get your hug.

• 11:46Griffin McElroy?

  Every Thursday, they reset the electric fence power supply from 11 a.m. to 11:05 a.m. That's your window.

• 11:53Travis McElroy?

  If I open the lion enclosure, I can slip through there to get to the wombats. No, I'm glad they returned to the Ocean's Universe, but I think Ocean's 14 was the weirdest fucking one.

• 12:04Griffin McElroy?

  Really, really low stakes.

• 12:06Travis McElroy?

  I need some advice. I'm here at your show in Columbus with my younger brother. After we bought tickets to your shows this week, we found out our eldest brother is also a fan of the show. Should we either avoid telling him and all of social media about this experience and keep it a secret? Or do you brotherly experts know how we can break the bad news of his not attendance of this most likely amazing show? That's from my brother, not my other brother, and me in Columbus, Ohio.

• 12:39Griffin McElroy?

  Now.

• 12:40Travis McElroy?

  Are you here?

• 12:41Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, no, hold on. No, no, no, no, no.

• 12:43Travis McElroy?

  This is a big, "are you here?"

• 12:45Griffin McElroy?

  Before you say, "are you here?", if you are here, I need you to disguise your voice somehow, like you're being interviewed anonymously. So I'll ask, "are you here?"

• 12:57Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 12:57Travis McElroy?

  That's great.

• 12:59Griffin McElroy?

  Big Mr.

• 13:00Travis McElroy?

  Before. Before we say anything else, I just want to point out, this show wasn't sold out.

• 13:09Griffin McElroy?

  Totally could have gotten a tick for the Big Bro. Totally could have hooked Big Bro up, no problemo. In fact, you're rubbing our nose in the fact that you didn't buy an extra ticket to this show.

• 13:23Travis McElroy?

  If this show had been sold out and you had emailed us this story, we would have found a way to get it in and out. We would have done something, something. We would have made it happen.

• 13:32Griffin McElroy?

  But no.

• 13:33Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 13:34Griffin McElroy?

  You went a different way about it. Process of elimination. They're gonna figure out this is you and your brother for sure.

• 13:45Travis McElroy?

  Okay, I, before we do any jokes about this, I need to have a serious moment. If you folks who enjoy this podcast are not talking to your immediate loved ones about my brother, my brother, me, you are failing us in the most fundamental way I can imagine. The idea that you have not spoken to this brother, who not only might like our show, but does, about our show.

• 14:12Griffin McElroy?

  And he's one of three siblings.

• 14:14Travis McElroy?

  What if?

• 14:15Griffin McElroy?

  I don't want to speak for you. But we're talking about a brother, a brother, and you. And you weren't like, "hey, you know what this fucking reminds me of?"

• 14:22Travis McElroy?

  Like, it never came up? You were never like, "I wonder if Peter likes this too?" Like, it never crossed your mind to even fucking ask?

• 14:31Griffin McElroy?

  Like, I.

• 14:32Travis McElroy?

  Check out that Zach Braff show about the guy who started a podcast corporation. I didn't want to, but it makes sense.

• 14:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:39Travis McElroy?

  Hey, one second. Charlie and Cooper, can you say woo?

• 14:43Travis McElroy?

  Those are my kids. I'm trying to feed them with this podcast. Just please, you have to tell your, your family members about our podcast. That's a good selling point, too, if you're like, this show's really good and he's got hungry kids. Yeah, hungry kids. Please, talk to your brothers. Oh, my brother, my brother. You, for the reasons. And, and any sibling, to be fair. Doesn't have to be brothers, but at least brothers.

• 15:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. For the reasons we have outlined, you obviously cannot let your brother know that you have done this.

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  Ever.

• 15:13Griffin McElroy?

  It is a crime.

• 15:14Travis McElroy?

  The cruelty is unthinkable.

• 15:19Travis McElroy?

  Your capacity for it, I mean.

• 15:21Griffin McElroy?

  So you're, yeah, you're gonna need to go dark. Everyone else needs to make up for the, the darkness of social media that you are going to need to experience. You cannot let a single.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  None of you talk about this show.

• 15:34Griffin McElroy?

  No, the rest of you talk about the show.

• 15:36Travis McElroy?

  This show didn't happen. It got rained out.

• 15:37Griffin McElroy?

  You specifically need to burn your ticket stubs and then scatter the ashes into a river or something.

• 15:44Travis McElroy?

  Maybe come up with an alibi. Tell them you took a surprise trip, just you and your brother to like Vegas.

• 15:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:50Travis McElroy?

  And had a great time without him there.

• 15:52Griffin McElroy?

  You went to a taping of the Joe Rogan Experience.

• 15:56Travis McElroy?

  And not a live show. You got to sit in studio.

• 15:59Griffin McElroy?

  But what if your brother is like, damn, I'm a huge J R E head. Fuck.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  If there's two things I love because of how similar they are, it's the Malgoid Brothers and the Joe Rogan Experience. Two great tastes that taste great together. It's all the shared views they have.

• 16:19Travis McElroy?

  I've only listened to two episodes of Bone, but.

• 16:24Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, man, I feel like I'm gasping for a segment.

• 16:30Travis McElroy?

  Oh, are you?

• 16:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, Trav, I'm dying for a segment, pal.

• 16:33Travis McElroy?

  Well, I don't know if you guys know this, but we're in the home of the Ohio State.

• 16:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 16:39Travis McElroy?

  Which is home to the very famous Brutus the Buckeye, who is an anthropomorphic Buckeye man.

• 16:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:47Travis McElroy?

  Yeah? And it got me thinking about mascots. So I came up with a whole new segment called Mascot Madness.

• 16:54Griffin McElroy?

  Wow!

• 16:55Travis McElroy?

  Wow!

• 16:57Griffin McElroy?

  Is there art for... Is this... Wow, hold on. This is really fucking abstract, Travis.

• 17:01Travis McElroy?

  Hold on. And play. Mascot Madness.

• 17:09Travis McElroy?

  University Edition. Now, wait, now, hold on, dude. Hey, dude, you just made this up and you're already doing an addition of it?

• 17:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:19Travis McElroy?

  You're spinning it off? It's like, as it's coming into being, it has another head just extending from its abdomen. It'd be like if the... University Edition!

• 17:29Griffin McElroy?

  It's new in stores. It's the first Seen It game. Seen It Murder, She Wrote Edition.

• 17:35Travis McElroy?

  Fucking... It's a little thing called The Long Game. I have a long view of this.

• 17:40Griffin McElroy?

  It's Trivial Pursuit of the Rugrats Edition, the first one of them.

• 17:44Travis McElroy?

  This fucking quado emerging from Trav's mind is what it is. Bleh! I'm not gonna apologize to you guys who are having a plan.

• 17:52Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, man.

• 17:54Travis McElroy?

  I so rarely do. I'm going to tell you about three university mascots and ask you a trivia question about them.

• 18:00Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, okay.

• 18:01Travis McElroy?

  Let's see our first mascot, Paul.

• 18:04Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking shit, dog.

• 18:06Travis McElroy?

  Friar Dom, the mascot for Providence College. Hey, he's gotta be Friar Dom, though, are you sure, man? Friar Dom. He certainly ain't Friar...

• 18:15Griffin McElroy?

  I'm so happy to be in charge!

• 18:19Travis McElroy?

  This monastic monster strikes fear into the opposing team and anyone who makes eye contact with him. Griffin, do you wanna describe him for the people at home?

• 18:29Griffin McElroy?

  Imagine the face of the biggest sexual deviant you've ever seen in your entire life, with the hair of maybe a late-stage beetle and...

• 18:41Travis McElroy?

  I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson, you have late-stage Beatle. Imagine if the guy... Imagine if the berries and creep guy went missing for three weeks and then reemerged in a lake.

• 18:54Griffin McElroy?

  With an eight yard wide, ghastly grin across his face. And hungry eyes.

• 19:02Travis McElroy?

  All right, let's see that question, Paul. Friar Dom is often accompanied by what animal companion? A, Francisco the Sheep. B, Brutus the Holstein Bull. C, Huxley the Dalmatian. Or D, Dingus the Fruitbat?

• 19:15Griffin McElroy?

  I want it to be Dingus the Fruitbat so bad that I'm gonna say it. We don't, I don't want the answer.

• 19:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you don't wanna cheat.

• 19:21Griffin McElroy?

  We're better than that. But it does feel like Francisco the Sheep is the correct answer.

• 19:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I would say Francisco the Sheep, for sure, yeah.

• 19:28Griffin McElroy?

  Because of the religious sort of connotation.

• 19:30Travis McElroy?

  Okay, let's reveal. Huxley the Dalmatian.

• 19:34Griffin McElroy?

  Hey! Fucking cool.

• 19:37Travis McElroy?

  I feel like you cheated.

• 19:38Griffin McElroy?

  Huxley the Dalmatian's vibe right now is like, yeah, I'm hanging with Friar Dom. Fucking chill about it. He's actually a super cool dude if you get to know him.

• 19:47Travis McElroy?

  I know he's not good on first impressions or whatever, but this guy saved my life. Do you wanna see the original Friar Dom and the original Dalmatian?

• 19:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we do. Does he have a, yes, dude? Yes, dude?

• 20:03Travis McElroy?

  Right there, that's Providence College's original Friar Dom. And it used to be a live Dalmatian named Friar Boy. But after Friar Boy the Fifth passed away, they said, you know what? Maybe a guy in a suit is a better way to go.

• 20:15Griffin McElroy?

  He looks like in the They Might Be Giants music videos when they would put like a big president head on them for some reason.

• 20:23Travis McElroy?

  All right, let's see our next mascot, Paul. Otto the Orange from Syracuse University. All right, some Syracuse fans in the house. I found conflicting reports here, one that said he is the fruit, an orange. But also one that said he is an anthropomorphization of the color orange. Oh, wow.

• 20:43Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, he's also spherical, so I'm gonna go with the fruit orange.

• 20:47Travis McElroy?

  I want it to be the fruit. All right, Paul, let's see that question. Which of these, hold on. Paul, go back? And now go forward? That's a different fucking guy. Go back again? And forward? The vibe's way different, guys. I like this guy. He's gonna sell you a Lotto ticket that's already scratched off.

• 21:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude. It looks like his hat, if you could see the other angle of it, says, "Suck my orange dick."

• 21:14Travis McElroy?

  It's all jumbled, yeah? The CK my orange dick is on one side. Which of these was one of the names considered for Otto before being rejected out of fearing of rhyming with an insult? A, Cupid, B, Obi, C, Jingle Jerry, D, Art.

• 21:32Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, Art.

• 21:33Travis McElroy?

  Opie.

• 21:34Griffin McElroy?

  Art could be fart.

• 21:35Travis McElroy?

  It's dopey, man. People loved So Why back then.

• 21:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm gonna say Art, just, but damn, Jingle Jerry's really, I'm gonna say Jingle Jerry, cuz that's where my heart wants to go, Travis.

• 21:45Travis McElroy?

  And you said what, Justin? I would, what I said was, Griffin, what insult? Okay, thank you.

• 21:49Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, Justin got it in one, it is Opie, cuz what's going on with his fucking morphology here? The fuck is up with his anatomy, dude?

• 21:57Travis McElroy?

  Jingle Jerry would be Dingleberry. Oh, thank you, Travis. This is him giving birth, actually. Yeah. Well, this is him after he had some ribs removed.

• 22:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:07Travis McElroy?

  I finally did it, guys!

• 22:14Griffin McElroy?

  Can you go back again, Paul? The reason he's so pissed off here is cuz he hadn't quite figured out how to do the next thing, that it's image in the next slide yet. Yeah, now he's satisfied. He got what he needs.

• 22:27Travis McElroy?

  Until that, he was blue. What is the, uh...

• 22:30Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus Christ, Justin.

• 22:31Travis McElroy?

  That's just one thing you could say. Okay, next slide, Paul. Fun fact about Otto. He is portrayed throughout the year by a select crew of 10 to 12 students whose identities are kept anonymous.

• 22:43Griffin McElroy?

  A third fucking vibe they have put on this anthropomorphized orange...

• 22:47Travis McElroy?

  This feels more like a trophy hunting.

• 22:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. He looks good! Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Important mascot point, if you give something legs, you can't take them away. You know what I mean? Like, once you say Otto has legs, he always has to have legs, otherwise, don't bring him round.

• 23:04Travis McElroy?

  All right, and our final mascot, Paul. Big Red. All right. Western Kentucky University's Big Red.

• 23:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. The crotch area sucks to see on a big screen. Maybe go ahead to the next slide, Paul, just so you don't get any decency.

• 23:24Travis McElroy?

  Which of these statements about Big Red is false? A: Big Red is non-binary. B: Students who portray Big Red must never reveal their identity. C: Big Red is in the mascot Hall of Fame. Or D: Big Red's signature moves are the belly slide and the belly shake.

• 23:40Griffin McElroy?

  I have decided that it's C, because I don't think the mascot Hall of Fame exists.

• 23:47Griffin McElroy?

  If they did, they sure wouldn't let in this fucking Reddit upvote symbol.

• 23:54Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, man, I mean, I also think it's C, but that's not very funny. I'll say B. I think if they let you be Big Red, you can be proud about it. I'm the world's premier non-binary mascot, sports mascot.

• 24:08Travis McElroy?

  Let's show the answer, Paul. This belly-shaking and sliding non-binary icon was the first mascot inducted into the Capital One Mascot Hall of Fame.

• 24:20Griffin McElroy?

  Wait.

• 24:21Travis McElroy?

  Students who portray Big Red are permitted to wear the Big Red gloves at their graduation to reveal their identity.

• 24:27Griffin McElroy?

  Can you imagine? Can you imagine? They call that nerdy kid from gymnastics class? Why can't I think of a single college course?

• 24:40Travis McElroy?

  We're too far out from it.

• 24:41Griffin McElroy?

  I guess so.

• 24:42Travis McElroy?

  From book class?

• 24:44Griffin McElroy?

  From college science, and he's like, "Pfft." That'd blow my mind. I love you, Big Red.

• 24:51Travis McElroy?

  Yes, last slide, Paul. Wait, sorry, the first mascot? Hold on. The first mascot? So you're gonna do a mascot Hall of Fame, and the first one you get is this jabroni?

• 25:04Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 25:05Travis McElroy?

  Sorry. What about Mr. Met? He's all right?

• 25:09Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know if he's eligible, Justin. He's also kind of upsetting.

• 25:14Travis McElroy?

  And he also bet on his own game.

• 25:19Griffin McElroy?

  Well, show me this.

• 25:20Travis McElroy?

  Next slide, Paul.

• 25:20Griffin McElroy?

  Tease me with a screen.

• 25:21Travis McElroy?

  Yes, Big Red is out there, every game, rapping the WKU Hilltoppers and the Ladytoppers.

• 25:28Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 25:31Travis McElroy?

  Hey, it's probably, probably time to change that, don't you think? I bet it's time. That's the original suit that was made for $300 and was approved of by the college.

• 25:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we love it. We love it. Get that irritated penis in there.

• 25:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure, man. He looks like if the Noid got run over by a big truck.

• 25:56Travis McElroy?

  And that's Mascot Minus. Thank you, everybody.

• 25:59Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks, Trav.

• 26:02Travis McElroy?

  I love looking at those guys, it turns out. I have a pretty cool scar on my big toe from the time I almost completely severed it with a hatchet.

• 26:10Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, can you read the first part of that sentence again? Because there was some clapping and I missed the anatomy.

• 26:15Travis McElroy?

  "I have a pretty cool scar on my big toe"

• 26:19Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 26:19Travis McElroy?

  "from the time I almost completely severed it with a hatchet. I think it's a really neat looking scar and I'd like to be able to show it to more people, but I don't know how to bring it up in casual conversation. How do I organically get people to acknowledge and appreciate my cool scar?" And that's from It Really Is Cool in Rochester.

• 26:41Griffin McElroy?

  Are you here?

• 26:42Travis McElroy?

  All right. I'm thinking about the physics of it.

• 26:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, this is my immediate question is what's your toe doing around the action line of a hatchet? I can't think of too many.

• 26:53Travis McElroy?

  Before, if you almost severed, not split it in twain, mind you, which I'd get. You had your foot.

• 26:59Griffin McElroy?

  Foot at a rakish angle.

• 27:00Travis McElroy?

  Okay, now, Griffin, okay, now, listen. Were you juggling it? Before we get too sassy here, if used as directed, most hatchets do tend to avoid the blood emitting sections of the body. I would argue if you have hit yourself with a hatchet, something has gone terribly wrong with the arc of the hatchet. No matter where you hit, it was an unfortunate occurrence, I think, Griffin. It doesn't matter if it's in the toe or anywhere, it was probably a big mistake.

• 27:26Griffin McElroy?

  Was it, can you just shout a one word answer? Was this an injury of hubris or of accident? Yeah, okay.

• 27:35Travis McElroy?

  You know what, without saying yes or no?

• 27:38Griffin McElroy?

  I get it, yeah, for sure, for sure. I, generally speaking, am not scoping toes.

• 27:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh huh, sounds like someone who is scoping toes to me. I don't think you'd go around, you wouldn't walk in your room like, "Hey, I stoked toes."

• 27:55Griffin McElroy?

  I'm not scoping toes. If I was the type of person who scoped toes and I saw a big scar on a toe, I'm not gonna be like... The idea that I'd be like, "What are those?" at your scars is unthinkable.

• 28:06Travis McElroy?

  I will say this, if you're like out there in like sandals with this cool scar, they're not gonna bring it up, but they are excited if you're like, "Hey, would you like to know how I got this little scar on my toe?"

• 28:17Griffin McElroy?

  Cut you look, you're gonna have to do a lot of like propping your feet up on the cooler.

• 28:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. No one's gonna ask. You could wear a shirt that says, "Ask me about my bad toe", and people still would not ask about it, I don't think. Oh, but you could use it like a, like a early 2090s, like ABC sitcom dad, like, you know? "Seems like life's got you down. You didn't do too well on the test." You know what that reminds me of? The time I almost cut my toe off with a hatchet. "Oh, what's that? You'd like to see?"

• 28:47Griffin McElroy?

  I bet.

• 28:48Travis McElroy?

  I bet you would, but first, let's talk about premarital sex or whatever.

• 28:54Griffin McElroy?

  You know, when you have, when you commit premarital sex, it's a lot like you're cutting off a part of your body that you can't get back.

• 29:01Travis McElroy?

  Now luckily, I didn't go all the way with my toe.

• 29:09Travis McElroy?

  I stopped at third base.

• 29:12Griffin McElroy?

  You'll have a lot more than a scar if you commit premarital sex.

• 29:19Griffin McElroy?

  That scar's gonna be on your soul when you get to heaven.

• 29:25Travis McElroy?

  Heaven.

• 29:27Griffin McElroy?

  That's where Mr. Bean goes when he dies.

• 29:32Travis McElroy?

  I, uh, I don't care how. He goes to hell.

• 29:34Griffin McElroy?

  No way. I know. Mr. Bean goes to hell for sure.

• 29:37Travis McElroy?

  I don't care if you figure out a way of bringing up in conversation. You can sell this story to me however you like. I am not, I repeat, not going to look at your toe. You could, you can make a trailer for this story. You could do a fashion shoot for the toe. You could buy a cameo for me from the toe. I am not gonna look at it. No way, no how, no thank you. Unless the scar spells something out.

• 30:04Griffin McElroy?

  Their name. What'd you say your name was? Michael? You're never gonna believe this shit. I could almost cut my toe off in the shape of your name. You gotta check this shit out.

• 30:18Griffin McElroy?

  How'd you almost cut your toe off with a hatchet? It shouldn't have been.

• 30:23Travis McElroy?

  Were you barefoot?

• 30:26Griffin McElroy?

  We're not gonna get the answer to this. Can you text someone a picture of your big toe scar? And then immediately follow up? Immediately follow up with, oops, wrong person. Please delete.

• 30:37Travis McElroy?

  I thought Griffin meant to like our organization, which we, I don't think it.

• 30:42Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, fuck, no.

• 30:43Travis McElroy?

  No way.

• 30:44Griffin McElroy?

  Can't be more explicit. We don't wanna see your toes. And it's not because of the scar. That's just a general rule we have about toes.

• 30:51Travis McElroy?

  Don't wanna see no toes.

• 30:53Griffin McElroy?

  No toes.

• 30:53Travis McElroy?

  Here's what you do. Are you ready? You go to the people who are most important to you in your life. You tell them, hey, listen, if I ever get in a horrible accident and you have to identify my body without my head on it, I need you to see this scar.

• 31:05Griffin McElroy?

  If I get too crazy with the hatchet again.

• 31:09Travis McElroy?

  Listen, that hatchet's out to get me. Sometimes I see it in dark alleys following me around. If that hatchet ever gets me, I want you to be able to identify the wound. Griffin, I'm so mad, man, because Travis has had one of the best ideas I've ever heard. And you cheapened it into a joke. Travis had such a great solution to this problem. I can't believe you turned that into something as puerile as a goof. Travis just solved this one, Griffin. We should take a moment to recognize it.

• 31:38Griffin McElroy?

  You're right.

• 31:38Travis McElroy?

  I can't tell if you're serious or not. I'm not used to this kind of feedback.

• 31:41Griffin McElroy?

  No. I guess I assumed, I guess I assumed that any suggestion we gave that had anything to do with when you talk to your friends and family about your death. That it wouldn't actually be on the level, but I apologize for misreading the situation.

• 31:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Speaking of, have I told you guys about when I die, what I want?

• 31:59Griffin McElroy?

  How are we gonna identify Travis? Probably from his many tattoos, I would guess, as a starting point.

• 32:03Travis McElroy?

  That could be faked.

• 32:07Travis McElroy?

  I need you to look inside. I've swallowed a series of objects.

• 32:13Travis McElroy?

  The order is important.

• 32:15Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 32:15Travis McElroy?

  One of them is a key, but it's not the one you think is a key.

• 32:21Travis McElroy?

  I'll show you the diagram backstage. It's color-coded that matters.

• 32:25Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 32:26Travis McElroy?

  I'm not gonna hold your butt up to a candle, Travis, no matter what you say. God damn it, Justin, it's in my will, so you legally have to.

• 32:33Griffin McElroy?

  Legally, we have to hold his butt up.

• 32:35Travis McElroy?

  I begrudge. You need to carbine gate some of the items.

• 32:37Griffin McElroy?

  Sure, thank you. We will.

• 32:39Travis McElroy?

  I begrudgingly lift weights twice a week at a trendy, uh, we'll say color-themed gym. Sometimes my annoyance slips through my- Green world? My filter, and I'll mutter things out loud like, "Sorry, girls. Fuck this shit, and I could be eating a donut and watching Endor right now." "My spouse needed a minor procedure recently, and the surgeon told me in the post-op that he recognized me from the gym." "I can't stop thinking about what he might have heard me say. Brothers, how do I stop blurting out complaints when I'm pumping iron?" That's from Please Don't Spot Me in Columbus, but are you here? Yup, yup, yup. It's Orange Theory, right? Are you worried about Orange Theory coming for you?

• 33:21Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, listen, no. They'll kick you right the fuck out.

• 33:25Travis McElroy?

  Really?

• 33:26Griffin McElroy?

  If they, oh, they'll, oh, man.

• 33:28Travis McElroy?

  The Orange Theory does not listen to our show. That's where the splats come from, dude. It's from people who got out of line. They get- They get turned into splats. Aw, splats are people. Splats is- Orange splats are people!

• 33:41Griffin McElroy?

  You gotta cuss to get strong.

• 33:44Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:45Griffin McElroy?

  Cussing is strength entering the body. When you let the profanity out, you're making room for the power of the weights.

• 33:54Travis McElroy?

  There was a scientific study, wasn't there recently?

• 33:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:57Travis McElroy?

  That if you cursed, it made you strong.

• 33:59Griffin McElroy?

  That's true, yeah.

• 34:00Travis McElroy?

  Scientists did this, you remember, and it was in all the journals. And if you did something, you cursed, it would make you more powerful, very briefly.

• 34:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 34:10Travis McElroy?

  Are you talking about the brainchild episode that our children watched yesterday on Netflix Kids? Yes, I believe I am talking about that data, yes, Travis. There's been some research where cursing makes you strong, I believe. I don't get why more, I also go to the gym, I know. And I don't get why everyone isn't cursing, I'd feel so, no one, listen, even if you feel good after the gym, even if you feel good about how much it hurts to do the gym, no one fucking likes it.

• 34:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 34:40Travis McElroy?

  Right? If I said to any strong person who goes to the gym and works out all the time, "You could look like this and feel like this without having to do it," they would do that. So why isn't everyone like, "Fuck this," constantly while they're doing it? I'd look around and be like, "Yeah, man, I agree, I get this."

• 34:57Griffin McElroy?

  Is this an opportunity for us to open the world's first nasty, R-rated, but only for language gym?

• 35:06Travis McElroy?

  And you can climb on shit.

• 35:08Griffin McElroy?

  You can climb on whatever the fuck you want to.

• 35:10Travis McElroy?

  Ride on anything.

• 35:13Travis McElroy?

  And no one's allowed to slam the weights down when they're done. Those are the three things. And everybody has their own machine.

• 35:21Griffin McElroy?

  That they bring from home.

• 35:26Travis McElroy?

  And they do it outside because we couldn't pay rent this month. And I have been thinking about, there's a gym that I see in Cincinnati all the time called House of Pain.

• 35:35Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking, yeah, man.

• 35:36Travis McElroy?

  I want to open a bakery right next to it called House of Pan.

• 35:41Travis McElroy?

  That's convenient too, because you wail on the pecs and a little treat after.

• 35:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, treat for the peck wailing.

• 35:46Travis McElroy?

  Get yourself a croissant. You fucking earned it, because that shit sucks.

• 35:51Griffin McElroy?

  It sucks so bad.

• 35:52Travis McElroy?

  That's why I had to give it up, man, it was too bad for my walk with Christ. That's why I can't work out anymore. I curse so much and like all the weights I left in the world, if I get strong like that, I still can't be really truly strong. Sure, yeah. If I'm, there's a lot of distance. The walk, the walk- You're not strong enough to carry the weight of the sins, you know what I mean? The walk with Christ is purely an aerobic workout. There is no- That's the problem. And sometimes he has to carry you. You can't even- Yeah, for sure. Like, no matter how much you walk, you can't keep doing it forever. Do you see where there was one set of footprints? That's where you had no gains. Yeah. They never mentioned in that thing how disappointed Jesus sounds in that moment where he's like, "That's why I carried you." Fuck Jeremy, really? We've been walking for ten fucking minutes, man!

• 36:37Travis McElroy?

  What gives, dude? The hotel's right there! I told you, don't wear those shoes to the beach. I'm gonna end up carrying you. Do you think when that person finished footsteps, they were like, "There it is, the funniest thing anyone's ever done"?

• 36:54Travis McElroy?

  There's the, there's the setup. Let the punchlines roll in! It is the first half of the greatest joke in the world. You can pull it at any point and it still kills.

• 37:14Travis McElroy?

  Hi, everybody. It's us, the McRoy Brothers. What's up? Yay, Justin here. Oh, okay. You know, you know what really brings the McRoy Brothers together? Ad reads. Ad reads. Money. Squarespace, is what I was gonna say. If it weren't for Squarespace, I'm not sure I would be talking to my brothers as often as I do, to be honest with you folks. Well, it's the power of beautifully designed and easy to set up websites is what brings the McRoy Brothers together. If there's one thing we can agree on, it's website design. A lot of people forget that My Brother My Brother Me the podcast was spun off from MBMBAM.com, the website. True, true. So we, that's, we had to start somewhere. And you know, we agree on Squarespace because Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.

• 37:58Travis McElroy?

  They have cutting-edge design, everything you could possibly need to set up a beautiful and functional website, all of your very own. Yeah, you never know. When you're gonna need to pop up a website, when an idea will strike you. And Squarespace really lowers that barrier, lets you get right started on your creative project before the spark flies away. Like Griffin, Griffin just had a great idea right now. Griffin, what's that idea?

• 38:22Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I'm not gonna say it here, cuz someone will snatch it up. And that's why I did wanna say, if you're a listener of our show and you have an idea for a website, I'm gonna find out, I'm gonna snatch it up before you get to it. So you better use Squarespace fast.

• 38:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you better hurry. Head to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER, all one word, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 38:44Griffin McElroy?

  Subscriptions are like a little burglar who comes to your house every month. So that you can continue watching your programs, getting your creams, whatever you're subscribed to. You're enjoying this stuff, but if there is a little burglar, sometimes you stop using the creams, that burglar still comes, unless you kill him. Rocket Money will kill the burglar for you.

• 39:07Travis McElroy?

  It's a metaphorical burglar.

• 39:09Griffin McElroy?

  This is in the ad copy, it says, Rocket Money will kill the burglar for you. Rocket Money is-

• 39:14Travis McElroy?

  He will let you and your wife watch.

• 39:16Griffin McElroy?

  Rocket Money is a-

• 39:17Travis McElroy?

  For a thousand dollars.

• 39:18Griffin McElroy?

  It's a personal finance app.

• 39:20Travis McElroy?

  He will let your wife kill the burglar for $10,000.

• 39:22Griffin McElroy?

  And snuff film manufacturer that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features.

• 39:39Travis McElroy?

  That's a lot of burglar carcasses piling up.

• 39:42Griffin McElroy?

  Sure, it's-

• 39:44Travis McElroy?

  These things are stacking like cordwood. Thank you so much for this.

• 39:48Griffin McElroy?

  Every time I use Rocket Money, it always catches some stuff in the dragnet. Uh, to step away from the burglar murder metaphor for just a moment, uh, and it is-

• 39:58Travis McElroy?

  Now it's a nationwide manhunt.

• 39:59Griffin McElroy?

  Well, we will come right back to it, but it always grabs stuff, and I always save a bunch of money, and Rocket Money can help you do that also. And help you meet your financial goals and other stuff in the process. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name, My Brother, My Brother and Me. In the survey, so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from my show.

• 40:25Travis McElroy?

  And a quick couple announcements for everybody. Thank you so much to everyone who came out to see us in Columbus. The shows are great. It was super fun. Thank you for having us. Next up, we're going to be in Anaheim doing Dadlands and My Brother, My Brother and Me, and then in Sacramento doing My Brother, My Brother and Me. And later, we're coming to Texas, Georgia, and Utah. All Taz shows this year will be Taz versus, except for the Anaheim Dadland show. So tickets for all those shows are on sale now. More info and ticket links available at bit.ly/macaroytours. And go check out the merch over the Macaroy merch store, macaroymerch.com. There's a new 20 Thunder Drive pin. There's a Monster Factory sticker set. Thanks for vibing and keeping it tight. Tees are back in stock.

• 41:10Travis McElroy?

  10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Transgender Law Center. Thank you, Montane, whose new album, It's Hard to Be a Fish, is out now.

• 41:19Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking rips. I was listening to it this morning. It's so good. Also, I just announced I'm writing a choose your own adventure book. It comes out next March.

• 41:25Travis McElroy?

  He hasn't signed any deals to do it, but he's trying to use the power of visualization to get it in the universe.

• 41:30Griffin McElroy?

  I wrote it in a little envelope, and I put it in a balloon, and I let it go into the sky. But it is real, and it comes out in March. It's called The Stowaway, and you can preorder it now at bit.ly/griffinstowaway. And it would be very helpful if you do that. The book's gonna be great. Enjoy the rest of the episode. Sorry, Justin just burped.

• 41:47Travis McElroy?

  I was clearing my throat, actually.

• 41:48Griffin McElroy?

  And we will be back with another episode next week. Bye.

• 41:51Travis McElroy?

  Bye.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 41:55Speaker 03

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• 41:58Speaker 02

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• 42:00Speaker 03

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• 42:05Speaker 02

  I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?

• 42:23Speaker 03

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• 42:25Speaker 02

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theater, not a Parisian bordello.

• 42:31Speaker 03

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• 42:33Speaker 02

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!

• 42:39Speaker 04

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• 43:24Griffin McElroy?

  We, we are going to turn things over to you all now. We're gonna call some folks down to this microphone. If we can get a light up on this microphone here at Stage Center, right down this center aisle. When you come down to the microphone, if you want to tell us your name, your pronouns, if you would like, and tell us what your question is, and we will do our best to do the thing that we do. Hi, how's it going? Oh, it's lit from below, dramatically.

• 43:48Travis McElroy?

  Whoa. Okay. This is wild. Yeah, I love it. Okay, hi.

• 43:55Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Meredith P.

• 43:56Griffin McElroy?

  Hi, Meredith P.

• 43:57Speaker 05

  She/her.

• 43:58Griffin McElroy?

  Hi, Meredith. What is your question?

• 44:00Speaker 05

  So, my neighbors, they put this like garden gnome out by the curb, like, like that it was trash, and it was really cute. And so I really wanted to, you know, take it and display it in my own yard, but then they would probably see that I had displayed it and been like, why did you take our trash and display it? So, I was wondering like, what, how, how could I do that?

• 44:26Griffin McElroy?

  Take a trash gnome and make it

• 44:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:29Griffin McElroy?

  Different, unrecognizable enough to your neighbors that you wouldn't get clocked on it?

• 44:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:35Travis McElroy?

  Can I answer your question with a question?

• 44:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:37Travis McElroy?

  Isn't it wild that there is a section of yard that someone can put a lawn gnome in, and you're like, that's not decoration anymore, it's trash? Where if it had been like four feet further back, you'd be like, that's not free.

• 44:48Griffin McElroy?

  That's someone's beloved family heirloom.

• 44:50Travis McElroy?

  And then it's up there, and you're like, I could take that and they won't care.

• 44:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:53Travis McElroy?

  What would you say to a Sharpie mustache? Ooh, incognito. Incognito.

• 44:58Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's gonna need to be more than that. You're gonna need to rub in to your neighbor how bad they fucked up by not taking better care of this gnome. You're gonna need to set them up with their own little rec room area in your front yard.

• 45:10Travis McElroy?

  Leave footprints going from where they left it to your yard?

• 45:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. With a note, a note at the start of the footprints that says, "I'm way happier now."

• 45:23Travis McElroy?

  And see if you can make it bigger and stronger. Maybe like some paper machine muscles and amps where it's like, "If you had taken better care of me, I could have been bringing this."

• 45:31Griffin McElroy?

  Since I got with Meredith, I've been taking way better care of myself.

• 45:35Travis McElroy?

  This is my revenge pod. Meredith, what I would ask of you is that it doesn't so much matter how you get this gnome over into your yard from their trash, but here's what I'm gonna ask, the next time they put something out in the trash, I do need you to go over and put that in your yard too. So if they leave an exercise bike out there, I need you to go get the bike and put it in your yard, put some flowers on it or something, be like, "Hell yeah." And then move the gnome one yard over to your other neighbor's yard. Keep, keep throwing stuff away, idiot. I'm gonna keep taking it. And then eventually loop it back around, down the street, back to their yard. Now it's a closed loop.

• 46:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. This is Meredith.

• 46:15Travis McElroy?

  That's how we build neighborhoods. Does that help, Meredith?

• 46:19Speaker 06

  Yes, that sounds like a great plan.

• 46:20Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much, Meredith.

• 46:21Travis McElroy?

  Fantastic, thank you.

• 46:24Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, hello, hi.

• 46:25Speaker 06

  Hi, I'm Katie H. I had a question last time I saw you live about hot air balloons.

• 46:31Griffin McElroy?

  You had a question last time you were on the live episode of Mabimba, I'm here in Columbus. Can you give a brief primer to the folks who were not at that show?

• 46:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, so every year I've lived in my home, a hot air balloon has landed, crashed, or tried to land in my yard.

• 46:47Griffin McElroy?

  Right. So, I'll be honest, Katie, a lot of the questions kinda run together in my mind. When I saw this one, I was like, "Oh yeah, I fucking remember that."

• 46:55Travis McElroy?

  Now, to be fair, last, last time we talked about this, we determined that Katie needed to stop putting out the hot air balloon feeders that were attracting them.

• 47:02Griffin McElroy?

  Sure. So what's, what's the update?

• 47:06Speaker 06

  So I took your advice and I bought a cactus.

• 47:08Speaker 05

  And.

• 47:10Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck, that's good.

• 47:11Travis McElroy?

  That's funny. Good job, us. Good joke.

• 47:14Speaker 05

  I haven't had a hot air balloon land in my yard this year, and that is the first time in the five, almost six years I've lived there.

• 47:20Griffin McElroy?

  It's June. Okay. Are we like?

• 47:25Travis McElroy?

  The McElroy system works. Fiscal year or what?

• 47:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, how do you measure the year in hot air ballooning?

• 47:30Speaker 05

  Uh, it's been a year.

• 47:31Travis McElroy?

  How do you measure? Measure a year in hot air balloon?

• 47:40Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so, no balloons. I'm excited for you. Um, so what's your question now?

• 47:45Speaker 05

  I kind of miss them. How do I get them to come back?

• 47:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, okay.

• 47:48Travis McElroy?

  Listen, you ha- I can't believe you didn't see that coming.

• 47:54Travis McElroy?

  How many movies have you watched where someone has become burdened by, say, a lot of penguins? And they're like, "I want to get rid of these penguins. These penguins are our burden." And by the end of the movie, they get rid of the penguins, and they're like, "Fuck, man, you know what? I miss those penguins."

• 48:08Griffin McElroy?

  Mr. Popper was like, "How am I supposed to jerk off around here with all these penguins running around? How am I supposed to pop off?"

• 48:15Travis McElroy?

  That's what he calls it.

• 48:16Griffin McElroy?

  That's what he calls it. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Did you get rid of the cactus?

• 48:22Speaker 05

  No.

• 48:22Griffin McElroy?

  Well, Katie!

• 48:25Griffin McElroy?

  There's a clear causal connection between you getting the cactus and the hot air balloons not crashing and landing in your front yard anymore. That seems like a pretty good first step.

• 48:33Travis McElroy?

  Here's what's gonna happen. You get rid of the cactus. A little baby hot air balloon is gonna come up, and they're gonna- you're gonna have to earn their trust. But then all the big hot air balloons are gonna see that that baby hot air balloon has a great- I'm still fucking thinking about birds.

• 48:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:47Travis McElroy?

  Thinking about birds. Never mind.

• 48:49Griffin McElroy?

  Have you seen the balloon land at other houses near your house? Oh, God, like your neighbors?

• 48:55Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:55Travis McElroy?

  You're fucking kidding me, Katie!

• 49:00Travis McElroy?

  Katie, I had a, I'm gonna tell you something Katie. I had a joke written in my head for when you said no.

• 49:08Travis McElroy?

  And what you did was, you said yes. I said, "I have no, I mean, I don't, that's better."

• 49:12Griffin McElroy?

  Which, we can make jokes about that, Katie, don't feel bad, it's just, it surprised us.

• 49:16Travis McElroy?

  It was very surprising. Was there a look on the hot air balloon pilot's face where they went, "Mmm, what now?"

• 49:23Griffin McElroy?

  Or did they look at you kinda side out like, "Mm-hmm." "You could've had this, but you were playing."

• 49:29Travis McElroy?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa. Have you thought about giving the cacti to your neighbor as a gift? And then all of a sudden, they're the asshole, not you. Not to say, I mean, you know. No, he's saying you're an asshole. Not like that, hey, not like Travis meant it, but does that help? But you said it!

• 49:46Griffin McElroy?

  Can you put out a big basket of snacks that says, "For hot air balloon pilots only"?

• 49:51Travis McElroy?

  Wait, hold on. How do they feel about seeing a basket in the yard already? Dude, no, it's not in the yard, you float the basket, man. Think about that, you put a bunch of smaller balloons on the basket, you float it up, and you're like, "Free snacks." Of course they're gonna land there.

• 50:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, turn your house into an up-house.

• 50:10Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 50:11Griffin McElroy?

  Do an up-house!

• 50:12Travis McElroy?

  Now you're like an airlock for hot air balloons.

• 50:15Griffin McElroy?

  Make it so they have to crash in your yard.

• 50:18Travis McElroy?

  Cause your yard is the sky. Although, I gotta warn you, Katie, if you turn your house into an up-house, you might just start telling those other balloon guys to eat your dookie. Cause you've got, you've got the greatest feat of ballooning, a home that flies.

• 50:30Griffin McElroy?

  Also, Katie, with a harpoon gun and some serious training, you can make any goddamn hot air balloon land in your yard that you want to.

• 50:38Travis McElroy?

  Katie, does that help? Thank you, Katie, you did great. That's what it looks like, okay? It's, it's pretty creepy.

• 50:48Griffin McElroy?

  Hello.

• 50:48Travis McElroy?

  You know, Katie's not creepy. You can still see her to this day.

• 50:52Griffin McElroy?

  It's the lighting, Katie, it's not you. Hello.

• 50:54Travis McElroy?

  It's not you, Katie, it's the lighting, hi.

• 50:55Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so this is, we, I don't think we've ever brought two people up to the microphone at the same time. I assume you're Christina and Dylan? Yes. Yes, okay.

• 51:01Travis McElroy?

  I wanna start with Christina.

• 51:02Griffin McElroy?

  Christina, if, if I may just sort of, I'll read Christina's question, which we saw first, and then about an hour later, we saw this question from Dylan. So, we'll start with Christina. Do you mind if I read your question? Sure, go for it. "How do I respectfully ensure that at least three guests decline my wedding invitations so I can invite ketchup, relish, and most importantly, mustard, the Cleveland Guardians Hot Dog Racers?"

• 51:27Griffin McElroy?

  Followed by Dylan an hour later. How do I convince my fiance to finally give up her life ruining obsession with the Cleveland running hot dogs?

• 51:38Travis McElroy?

  And can I tell you, Griffin, one of the things that strikes me right away that I love?

• 51:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:42Travis McElroy?

  That Dylan's like, those Cleveland running hot dogs. And Christina's like, the Cleveland Guardian Racers.

• 51:47Griffin McElroy?

  They have names. Ketchup, relish, and mustard. First of all, I'm glad that you two are engaged to each other and this was not two completely separate.

• 51:57Travis McElroy?

  That was my brother's legitimate concern. I was like, we should call them down together. And Griffin was like, what if they're not the same couple? And I was like, Griffin, if that happens, it will be the best podcast anybody's ever done.

• 52:10Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Christina, can you give us some background for starters on this fascination that you have with these hot dog racers?

• 52:18Speaker 04

  That's a pretty loaded question.

• 52:19Travis McElroy?

  Just like these hot dogs, am I right? So I don't know, I don't know anything about them. So you gotta, you gotta sell me a little.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, so they're the best part of the baseball game if you don't really care about sports that much.

• 52:30Travis McElroy?

  Agreed. A big caveat, but go on. You know, if you don't care about anything else that happens there.

• 52:36Griffin McElroy?

  If you don't keep me from hearing about these hot dogs anymore, Travis, I swatted John.

• 52:42Speaker 04

  So yeah, at like the sixth inning or whatever, they, they race. Mustard's the best one. They have a big social media presence. But that can't be true.

• 52:51Travis McElroy?

  Well, cause ketchup is always going to get there.

• 52:55Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's a personal preference. I don't.

• 52:57Travis McElroy?

  Cause its name is fucking ketchup.

• 52:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we got that.

• 53:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's good, but.

• 53:01Griffin McElroy?

  Mustard is the most athletic hot dog and you can't change that, man.

• 53:05Speaker 04

  That's objective.

• 53:06Travis McElroy?

  So, so let's get the counterpoint on that.

• 53:08Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, Dylan.

• 53:09Travis McElroy?

  Well, Dylan, what do you think of these, uh, hot dogs?

• 53:11Griffin McElroy?

  And how seriously have they been?

• 53:13Travis McElroy?

  Do they run? Or is it like, are they ambulatory?

• 53:15Griffin McElroy?

  They're ambulatory hot dogs. They're not even just ambulatory. They form.

• 53:19Travis McElroy?

  Like knock each other over, they're rowdy.

• 53:22Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's why you don't want them at the wedding is because they might fight each other at the wedding? They're built for speed and they don't need that drama.

• 53:28Travis McElroy?

  Dylan, that's not real. Like in real life, they all hang out.

• 53:32Griffin McElroy?

  I will agree with Travis here that if the, these three hot dog mascots come to your wedding, they will probably be on good behavior.

• 53:39Travis McElroy?

  No way, absolutely not. If they go, they're going with their social media director who's gonna be filming the whole thing. They're gonna be putting their hands in the chocolate fountains or whatever. It's there, they're gonna be turning the whole thing into a hulker fuffle. Christina, is that part of the reason you want them there?

• 53:53Griffin McElroy?

  Is to make a big messy chocolate mess.

• 53:56Travis McElroy?

  You think it's gonna be messy?

• 53:57Speaker 04

  I didn't wanna like advertise that part, but, but yeah.

• 54:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. You want some mischief, I understand. This feels like a moment where a couples therapist will be like, so why do you think you need the hot dogs there?

• 54:13Griffin McElroy?

  Do you need the hot dogs there Christina? Cause I got the sense that it was just, you thought it would be fun and cool.

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Um, I think, I think I might need them.

• 54:21Travis McElroy?

  Dylan, can you tell me the conversation that led up to, okay, okay, here's the deal. If three people cancel.

• 54:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 54:31Travis McElroy?

  Then at that point, I will consent to inviting your hot dogs. Is that where it shook out? Are they soft maybe? Yeah. Where are we at?

• 54:40Griffin McElroy?

  And also, where do you place them on the dinner seating chart?

• 54:43Travis McElroy?

  Not at the same table, right?

• 54:45Griffin McElroy?

  No, never, yeah.

• 54:46Travis McElroy?

  This is the other issue I have. We're serving Italian sausage and peppers.

• 54:49Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, that's it. Yeah, that's fucked up.

• 54:51Travis McElroy?

  Very problematic. You're worried about that moment where they push the playback and they're like, the fuck? I thank you, I have some crackers in the car.

• 54:57Griffin McElroy?

  Christina, are you-

• 54:58Travis McElroy?

  I'll be fine, thanks.

• 55:00Griffin McElroy?

  All right, Christina, are you thinking that they would be more involved in the ceremony or the reception?

• 55:06Speaker 04

  I mean, like if one offered to officiate, I wouldn't say no to that.

• 55:09Griffin McElroy?

  With mustard?

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:11Griffin McElroy?

  What if relish was like, I don't worry, I got you Christina, would you be like?

• 55:14Speaker 04

  I'd maybe politely decline respectfully.

• 55:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 55:17Travis McElroy?

  Are you worried about it being a real sausage party?

• 55:19Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, I mean-

• 55:23Travis McElroy?

  We get invited to weddings quite a bit. I will warn you, though. If we ever make good on one of those, we are making that wedding about us.

• 55:32Travis McElroy?

  Do you understand? And I think these hot dogs are going to do precisely that. This is no longer your wedding. You're a guest. If one of those hot dogs doesn't object. That's what you want. Can I just say? If I was at a wedding, and it's one of those where it's like, oh, this is a friend of a friend. I got brought, you know, as a guest. And in the middle of it, someone in a big hot dog mascot costume showed up and just yelled, "I am Jack." I'd be like, fuck, this is the best thing that's ever happened in my whole life. I have two children. This is the most excited I've ever been.

• 56:03Griffin McElroy?

  Now, I will say, if you...

• 56:05Travis McElroy?

  There they are.

• 56:07Griffin McElroy?

  I got it. No.

• 56:09Travis McElroy?

  Oh, they're people. Okay, so they're... Wait, hold on. Is that ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise? What's happening?

• 56:15Griffin McElroy?

  Is the middle one relish?

• 56:17Travis McElroy?

  That's not relish.

• 56:18Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, it is hot dog relish. Why are we yelling? Because we're so excited about these beautiful hot dogs.

• 56:23Travis McElroy?

  Listen, can we make... I don't... I didn't realize there were people in costumes. Okay? So that actually... That makes a lot more sense. No, wait. Hold on, Justin. Speak on that. What did you think? I just didn't know. I mean, I didn't... I've never seen them before.

• 56:37Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, okay. But if they weren't people in costumes, then what did you think was gonna show up to the wedding?

• 56:43Travis McElroy?

  I thought they were, like, animated.

• 56:44Griffin McElroy?

  So you thought when Christina was saying, "I want to invite them to the wedding..."

• 56:47Travis McElroy?

  It was a Roger Rabbit kind of fucking deal?

• 56:50Griffin McElroy?

  Christina was saying, "I want to get in touch with the animators of the three hot dogs to get them to make a special movie."

• 56:54Travis McElroy?

  I'd like them to do some cell overlays. In my defense, I found a lot of the previous conversation confusing.

• 57:04Travis McElroy?

  So you're gonna... So, yeah, Griffin, yeah, there were some holes. I was spotting the holes too, man. Yeah, I saw the problems.

• 57:09Griffin McElroy?

  I think you could probably swing this. It will be the only thing people talk about at your wedding, which is maybe cool, like, maybe fun, maybe what you want.

• 57:19Travis McElroy?

  But they're gonna make it about them. Don't plan anything else. Don't worry about that. If you can lock down these mascot characters, don't feel like your vows have to be good or whatever.

• 57:30Griffin McElroy?

  Especially if you say, "If mustard wins, the groom's side, free hot dogs." Mustard, the ketchup, that's for the bride's side.

• 57:38Travis McElroy?

  If relish wins, this whole thing's off.

• 57:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. If relish wins, we all fucking walk, man. It wasn't meant to be.

• 57:45Travis McElroy?

  Uh, does that help?

• 57:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Okay, thank you so much.

• 57:48Travis McElroy?

  I feel like we didn't help Dylan a lot there.

• 57:51Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, Dylan.

• 57:51Travis McElroy?

  He'll figure it out. Hey Dylan, Christina's right. Hey Dylan, if the hot dogs come to your wedding, you should consider yourself very lucky. I think it's gonna be quite an event.

• 57:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Thank you both so much. Good luck with everything. Let us know how it turns out.

• 58:05Griffin McElroy?

  I believe we have one more question. Maybe, hello, yes.

• 58:10Travis McElroy?

  Hi, come on down.

• 58:11Griffin McElroy?

  Hi, how's it going? Come on up.

• 58:13Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Niall Heem.

• 58:16Griffin McElroy?

  Hi, Niall. What's your question?

• 58:18Speaker 05

  So, I spent five years in the Navy, attached to a submarine crew. But because submarines are so weird culturally, no one really knows what to think when they hear that. They think like the submarine that crunched up those rich guys or whatever.

• 58:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, Niall, probably.

• 58:38Travis McElroy?

  I don't think about that as a submarine. When I picture a submarine, I don't think, you know, that's...

• 58:43Griffin McElroy?

  I think about it when I'm having a bad day. So...

• 58:49Griffin McElroy?

  So... Yeah, man.

• 58:54Griffin McElroy?

  What's the...

• 58:55Travis McElroy?

  So what's your question, Niall? How can we help?

• 58:56Speaker 05

  So when people ask questions, a lot of the times they'll ask for stories, but there aren't really fun stories?

• 59:05Griffin McElroy?

  Fun submarine stories.

• 59:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's a very bad place to be.

• 59:08Griffin McElroy?

  Let Niall finish the question, please.

• 59:10Speaker 05

  It's a very bad place to be, just in general. It is purely voluntary. If you, as a servicemember, decide you are done doing it, they just let you go.

• 59:19Travis McElroy?

  Okay, look, that's not true, Niall, because if you're there, in the submarine under the water, and you say, "I want out."

• 59:26Griffin McElroy?

  I'm out.

• 59:26Travis McElroy?

  They don't let you out.

• 59:28Griffin McElroy?

  They don't let you take you home, right?

• 59:29Travis McElroy?

  They don't turn around and drop you off.

• 59:31Griffin McElroy?

  Well, you're gonna have to wait.

• 59:33Travis McElroy?

  You gotta call a... Hey, if that happens to... Blow the torpedo tube! Hey, if that... Niall, if that happens to you, gotta call a scoober.

• 59:47Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck you, everyone who didn't laugh.

• 59:51Griffin McElroy?

  That was the best joke I'm gonna tell tonight. So Niall, your question is, how do you talk more interesting about being on a submarine?

• 59:57Travis McElroy?

  I gotta say, Niall, you could do a lot worse than that factoring about it's one of the few jobs in the military you can quit.

• 1:00:04Griffin McElroy?

  And you just...

• 1:00:04Travis McElroy?

  And then they go, "I get it." Yeah, and then you're like, "But me, I kept doing it." That's pretty good, Niall. I can say it's not a bad starter.

• 1:00:12Griffin McElroy?

  Niall, what's the smell like?

• 1:00:15Travis McElroy?

  Bad, I bet.

• 1:00:16Griffin McElroy?

  It smells like refrigerant, and when you come back at the end of a patrol, you smell like refrigerant. For how long?

• 1:00:25Griffin McElroy?

  Two to three months. Okay.

• 1:00:28Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think about...

• 1:00:28Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 1:00:29Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think about what to do with your trash a lot? Or do you burn it in the engine? There's a whole... There's a whole system for canning it and... For canning the trash? Yeah. Niall, Niall! Do you see how the three of us are on the edge of our fucking seats right now?

• 1:00:43Travis McElroy?

  Niall, you've been hiding your light under a bushel. You're now the number one person I want to encounter at a party. I will talk to you for three hours, guaranteed. It seems boring to you because you did it every day, right? You were in a tube in the ocean for a long time. I want to know everything. How many krakens did you find? When you leave the service, they give you a hat with whatever the most interesting thing you did on it is. And then for the old men to wear at the store for you to tell them thank you for your service in this. You should see if they'll give it to you early. Like, go ahead and give you your hat, so you could be like, "Submarine guy." And you'll be like, "Yeah, tell me more. I would love to hear more about that."

• 1:01:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah. I smell like a refrigerator because I'm an American hero, and you should be embarrassed for asking.

• 1:01:30Travis McElroy?

  I could've quit, but I didn't. Ask me more. I've been underwater for the last five years. What did I miss?

• 1:01:38Griffin McElroy?

  That's pretty good.

• 1:01:39Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Niall, Niall, that's what you should do.

• 1:01:43Travis McElroy?

  Don't tell them about your thing. Just ask a bunch of questions about what's been happening up here.

• 1:01:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:50Travis McElroy?

  Wait, you guys weren't allowed to see anyone else too for a long time? That's wild!

• 1:01:55Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck, man.

• 1:01:55Travis McElroy?

  So it's a Barbie movie, but people were into it? That's crazy. That's weird, dude. Wait, Oppenheimer and Barbie at the same time? Fuck, man, what a media experience. Niall, does that help, my friend?

• 1:02:08Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, thank you so much, Niall.

• 1:02:09Travis McElroy?

  You should feel very proud.

• 1:02:13Travis McElroy?

  Thank you. Hey, y'all, Columbus, this has been so much fun. Thank you so much for having us to your beautiful city.

• 1:02:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, we truly do love it here. We have a lot of fond memories here in Columbus. And thank you to this beautiful venue for having us. It fucking rules.

• 1:02:28Travis McElroy?

  It's been a beautiful temple life. Thank you so much.

• 1:02:30Griffin McElroy?

  It's been wonderful to just wander around backstage. I very rudely asked, as we were looking for a room to do a little bit of prep in, I was like, "Oh, is this room gonna be creepy?" And a staff member backstage heard me and said, "Oh, I'll show you the creepy room." And then, not a joke, I just sort of walked into a room with the two of you. It was like, "We're good," and shut the door, because I was genuinely kind of scared.

• 1:02:56Travis McElroy?

  What the heck? I missed out on seeing the creepy room?

• 1:03:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Travis McElroy?

  Well, we'll see it afterwards. We don't need that energy.

• 1:03:04Griffin McElroy?

  Also, my son was asking about this building, and I said, "Yeah, it used to be a Masonic temple." And he said, "This is your Sonic Temple?"

• 1:03:14Travis McElroy?

  Our kids are funnier than we will ever be. That's really good, Masonic. God damn. We're not gonna top that. We want to say thank you to Matty Vian, who did our...

• 1:03:28Griffin McElroy?

  Beautiful, beautiful coaster. We signed some of them. You can get them out in the lobby. I believe, do we have the challenge coin here in Columbus? Yes, we do, and it's being... All proceeds are being donated to the Mid-Ohio Food Collective for the Paul Sibor Memorial Can Food Drive. For the old heads who prefer a 20-tummy drive.

• 1:03:46Travis McElroy?

  Tummy, no.

• 1:03:47Griffin McElroy?

  It sucks, and that's why we didn't do it. Thank you to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." Montane has a new album out this week that you should absolutely go and check out. We're very, very glad that we were able to use one of Montane's songs.

• 1:04:03Travis McElroy?

  We should also mention, we're gonna be at Origins Game Fair this weekend. If you weren't already planning to come see us, come see us there. Also, we're gonna be back here tomorrow night, doing Adventure Zone vs. Midsommar. It's gonna be an absolutely wild time. Make sure you come back for that.

• 1:04:18Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you to Rachel, and Paul, and Amanda, and our dad, Clint McRoy.

• 1:04:24Travis McElroy?

  And Sawbones.

• 1:04:25Griffin McElroy?

  And Sawbones for opening, everyone who made this show possible.

• 1:04:30Griffin McElroy?

  I have one fear I would like to read that was submitted by our friends in the audience, and this is the fear that they intend to be faster than this very special year. This year, I will be faster than the fear of my pet bird flying into an actively flushing toilet and getting swept out to sea. What is Jester McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. My brother, my brother, make this your dad square on the lips.

• 1:05:29Speaker 06

  Maximum Fun.

• 1:05:30Speaker 04

  A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.